Yagami 12
by Black Dragon6
Summary: Iori Yagami fell in love with and married Nodoka Saotome while training under his evil master, Happousai, along with Soun and Genma. Together they had a son, Ranma. How will the young Yagami deal with what he is, and what he has become?
1. A New Flame is Lit

Yagami 1/2  
  
A Ranma 0.5/King of Fighters Crossover  
  
by Black Dragon  
  
revcoll@peoplepc.com  
  
http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/fanficlair/index.html  
  
Standard disclaimer applies. I own neither Ranma 1/2 or KOF. Iori is cool. Kyo sucks. K is just weird, and Terry Bogard rocks. I can't think of anything else to say.  
  
  
  
Chapter 1  
  
A New Flame is Lit  
  
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Genma looked at his best friend Soun in nervous terror as the Anything- Goes school's newest member started his latest argument with the Dreaded Master, the Biggest Hentai Who Ever Lived, and the Enemy of All Womens' Undergarments: Happousai.  
  
The two martial artists couldn't even begin to imagine how anyone could even think of standing up to the Master, but this man had done it not only once, but every day since he had asked for training. The beatings that followed were just as brutal as anything they had ever suffered and worse (because this one fought back), and yet the man's spine was still as solid as a steel pole.  
  
Genma didn't like what that implied in reference to his spine, so he concentrated on the argument while trying to remain unnoticeable.  
  
  
  
"Listen, you little freak! I didn't join up with you buffoons to wash dishes or save your hide from an angry mob!! You idiots call this training?!"  
  
Happousai looked up at his newest disciple sternly. He had known from the get-go that this one would be trouble, but the fool had money, and was rather attractive, and that brought food and women, two things which he simply couldn't live without. Besides, this man was as strong, if not stronger, than Genma and Soun put together, and had some rather...... interesting capabilities. If the moron would stop complaining about his methods and just steal what he was told to steal, Happousai might even actually train him some.  
  
But none of that was any excuse for disobeying his master!  
  
  
  
At over 6 feet, and a wide frame composed of solid muscle, Iori Yagami was not the sort of person one wanted to screw around with. Fiery red hair spread forward above his face shielded his eyes from the sun while he towered over the little man who was somehow so much more powerful than he. Iori wore what he always did: Red pants with a red belt attached to his knees, and a short black jacket with a crescent moon emblem on the back, with the tails of his undershirt trailing down the waist where his jacket ended.  
  
Iori was also furious. This gnome had beaten him so fast the first time he challenged him, he felt sure that this "Anything Goes" would make him fairly indestructible, given enough time. Except that the 'wise, all- powerful master' was a total pervert and thief that liked to foist off responsibility and blame onto his students, then call it 'training'. Iori wasn't pleased when he looked at the other two students of the old lecher, either. If that's what he had to look forward to after a few years of putting up with the little creep, he'd much sooner go back to training on his own.  
  
  
  
"I won't hear any more of this! You'll go to town with Soun and Genma and steal some sake for me, or you'll face punishment! Understand?!"  
  
Iori sneered at him and raised his hand, palm upraised. "Yeah, I understand." A purple pyre ignited on his palm, sending colorful glowing embers in cascades down his arm.  
  
Happousai growled. "Soun! Genma! Teach this ingrate some manners!"  
  
The aforementioned students almost whimpered in fear, but got into fighting stances at their master's glare. In truth, the Master's beatings hurt less than Iori's, but Happousai had other methods of punishment at his disposal.  
  
  
  
The attack went pretty much as expected. Soun went first with Genma slipping around to the flank, and the long haired man almost fell victim to purple wave of fire that sped across the ground before he got within striking range. Genma closed in as Soun was sent reeling by a back kick, and actually managed to land a good punch before having to evade a clawing swipe from the taller man. He didn't manage to dodge the left hook that followed, though, and was sent reeling before he was knocked into the air by a right hook, and then slammed into the ground by a double fisted punch. Before Soun could land his own attack from the rear, however, purple flames flowed from Iori in spirals as the man jumped upward and spun in the air, blasting Soun in a cocoon intense heat.  
  
Both of his students on the ground stunned, and probably in severe pain, though he knew they weren't out of the fight completely yet, Happousai stood up (adding maybe 2 cm. to his previous height) and faced his rebellious student.  
  
Iori stared contemptuously at the bodies on the ground struggling to get back up. "Pathetic. If this is what I have to look forward to as a student, I'll do fine on my own!" Shrugging his hands into his pockets, he started to walk away. And then slammed into a tree, courtesy of Happousai's pipe.  
  
"Grrrrr... DIE OLD MAN!!!!"  
  
  
  
It wasn't long before Iori was on the ground unconscious, and covered with quickly healing bruises. Happousai sat on top of him, lighting his pipe in one of the many smoldering purple blazes that lit the area.  
  
Watching all of this, Soun and Genma stared impassively at the guttering fires. Happousai obviously didn't know it, but he was dealing with something that he didn't understand, something he wouldn't be able to control. Something that couldn't be controlled. As dense as they were, Soun and Genma knew this. And watched silently as the trees and brush burned in a purple rage.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Nodoka Kaitsune hummed happily to herself as she walked through the halls of the women's dorm, on her way to her next Kendo practice session. As the captain, she held a perfect record for attendence, and they would need all the practice they could get in their next match. So she walked along the hallway with her bokken resting on her shoulder, content in her regular schedule.  
  
Of course, her regular schedule didn't count on an explosion around the locker room, or a chorus of female screams followed by cackling laughter. She rushed to the scene, to find the last thing she expected: a little old man with black scarf tied around his face, carrying a sack nearly 4 times his own size.  
  
Her eyes widened as she realized that the sack was nearly overflowing with bras and panties, and she did some quick figuring and reached the most obvious (and correct) conclusion.  
  
She had thought she held the element of surprise, but when her bokken dropped down onto the old pervert, he apparently wasn't there any more. Then it was her turn to be surprised as the wrinkled lecher alighted on top of her bokken, apparently at ease on the dangerous perch.  
  
Happousai took full advantage of her shock, going for the full-frontal attack on Nodoka's breasts, squeezing without abandon. A simple jump, and he was beyond the reach of her indignant fury, and more importantly, her bokken.  
  
Nodoka was beyond coherent rage as she ran after the little troll, swinging her weapon wildly. Nobody touched her like that and got away with it! Her anger rose to heights she didn't even realize were possible as the old pervert suddenly doubled back and flipped her skirt up, passing by without a care. Then he jumped out the window, and she saw several groups of murderous young women moving downstairs to intercept. She had more training than that, so she followed out the window.  
  
  
  
The drop was slightly more than she had anticipated, and she hit the ground with a wince as a jolt of pain shot up her leg. As she scanned the landscape, she idly rubbed her calf and rear to soothe the pain.  
  
Her scanning stopped, and a vein popped out on her head as she realized that she wasn't the one rubbing her rear.  
  
Once again her attack missed, though, and the little old pervert bounded away and faced her.  
  
"Whatsa matter cutie? Don't you wanna have some fun?"  
  
This did not help Nodoka's temperment one iota, and she simply stood there, boiling in rage, as the little gnome cackled to himself.  
  
"Doushita!"  
  
Happousai and Nodoka both halted their thoughts at the shout, and Happousai turned around to be blasted by a jet of purple flame that had dug a trench in its passage across the ground.  
  
"Yowch! What the? Who did that?!" Happousai knew who it was, of course, but felt the shout of indignation appropriate.  
  
Nodoka stared in awe at the thin, muscular figure that stood regarding Happousai with all the disgust and contempt that such a cold face could muster. Purple fire danced around him in waves, and he literally glowed with the dark hue. Each clenched fist was a bluish fireball. He resembled a demon of sorts, and seemed to ooze menace and pain.  
  
"I've had enough of you, old man! I suggest you cop your last feel, because this field will be your grave! NOW!! Drown in a sea of your own blood!! YARGH!!!" Iori tossed both fists forward, and twin blasts opened up on the ground, huge purple pillars of fire blowing apart the Earth as they wreaked destruction about them.  
  
Happousai was slightly taken aback, and leapt backwards out of range. Unfortunately, his bag hadn't survived the blast as well as he had, and it tore, spilling the ill-gotten garments into the path of the incoming energy. Happousai gaped, then snarled, bringing his own blazing aura to bear. "You ungrateful wretch! You were supposed to be covering my escape! You'll pay for this injustice!" He had prepared for this, more or less. The man had attacked him so often now, that he had actually begun to do some appreciable damage before the ancient lecher could put him down. Given that he had always valued his health over his integrity, he had found it acceptable to once again put to use the technique that he had sealed all of 6 months ago, regardless of any promise he had made.  
  
"Happo Daikarin!" A multitude of bombs spread onto the field, and Iori sped to the side, blurring as he seemed to almost slide across the ground, to brace himself against wall of the dorm.  
  
  
  
Nodoka could do nothing but watch in fascinated horror as yellow and purple detonations littered the college grounds, tearing apart stone, shattering windows, and setting plaster and plant alike blazing and dying. Other students that approached to watch quickly fled in horror at the chaos, with a few standing behind Nodoka, feeling safe enough so long as she was there.  
  
  
  
And after 3 minutes, though it must have seemed like hours, the devastation was over. Iori hit the ground on his side, bleeding from a dozen wounds and twitching from half again as many burns. The redhead glared ferociously at Happousai, the old man breathing hard but still quite able, his aura of menace bright.  
  
"You are pathetic! You don't deseve to be my student!" Happousai barked, "If you weren't too dangerous to be let loose, I'd expel you! But instead, I suppose I'll have to teach you some discipline!" Happousai raised a bomb in the air, and its fuse lit spontaneously.  
  
Iori trembled in rage, and the fire that he constantly tended, the fire that raged forever within him, blazed to new heights. His eyes glazed and he started convulsing, and his entire body felt hot, as if his blood was literally boiling. He had to destroy that man. Destroy him. Destroy Kyo. Destroy everything. To kill them all. To annhilate-  
  
*Boot* Happousai went sailing into the air, and his bomb exploded in a pretty fireworks display, knocking him out and blasting him further into the air.  
  
Nodoka smirked up at the speck that was Happousai, satisfied that she had more or less avenged herself, no matter how badly she wanted to see that old sicko nuetered (both as revenge and protection against next time). Then, with a warm smile on her face, she gently approached the wounded man and put a hand on his forehead, before shifting his body and cradling his head on her lap.  
  
She looked up at the other students, all of whom were looking at her and the man fearfully. "Well, what are you waiting for? Somebody get me some wet towels, he's injured!"  
  
They looked at her as if she was mad. "Are you nuts? That guy's dangerous! Look at what he did to the school!"  
  
Nodoka glared at the boy, then sniffed and turned back to her inspection of her patient. "He did all that DEFENDING us from that little pervert! Now get me those towels!" The boy winced at the annoyance in her voice, and decided it was probably best to do as she requested.  
  
  
  
Iori's rational mind jolted back into place as the pyre of fury suddenly guttered to embers. The trembling stopped, and a peace, a calm he'd never before experienced descended upon him as he stared up into the warm, beautiful eyes of the woman that held him. The last thing he remembered before consciousness evaded him at last was the pure radiance of her wonderful smile.  
  
  
  
Behind a nearby bush, one of the few pieces of foliage that wasn't severely blackened, Genma shook his head at the carnage. Come to think of it, it was really best he hadn't gotten involved. It was too bad though; that girl with the bokken was seriously cute.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Iori snorted at his fellow students, and they winced at the gesture, looking almost ready to run away in fright. "So, you two cowards have finally worked up the nerve to do him in, huh? About time." Iori was actually slightly impressed. Very slightly. His estimation of their backbone might have risen more, except that they almost fled whenever he turned his hard eyes towards the two. Iori Yagami was the one who had stood up to the master, and that was something to be feared, in their eyes.  
  
Iori would never admit it, especially to those two, but he had come to somewhat respect their abilities as martial artists. He had found that Genma was actually a halfway competent opponent in regular sparring, and tearing into the heavy-set man brought back fond memories of beating up Chang, one of Kapwam's companions. Their sparring with him had also brought up their own fighting abilities, more so than he had expected from two people as pathetic as they were.  
  
Soun swallowed hard, and stepped up to the taller man. There was no reason to fear Iori; he was on their side. "Yes, well, we think that we can get him drunk, and then we were planning on sealing him in cave after he's unconscious. If you were to come along and help, it would save us the trouble of finding explosives."  
  
Iori chuckled, and Soun sweated as Genma started to inch away. "Seal him in a cave? Why don't you just kill him, and be done with it?"  
  
Soun and Genma froze, looking distinctly uncomfortable.  
  
Iori's chuckle turned into a short laugh. "Ha ha! Fine, I'll help. But after all that mummy's done to me, don't get in my way if I... lose my temper." He smiled maliciously.  
  
Genma and Soun bigsweated, wondering if they had made a huge mistake.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Iori stared impassively at the bottom of his dry sake cup, but did not motion for a refill. He never was much of a drinker. He had enough trouble with fights and bar brawls without actually impairing his judgement. For a wonder, his musings were not in anger, or even merely annoyance. Simply... contemplation.  
  
The sealing of Happousai had gone just as planned. As Soun and Genma had planned. Even now, the two fools were almost drowning themselves in alcohol. Iori sincerely hoped they both would seek professional help now that their master was gone, or at the very least grow spines of some sort.  
  
But still, as they were readying the boulder that would cover the sealed cave, Iori had looked down upon the sleeping lecher, and felt... irritation. He had kicked the old man around some, but felt absolutely no desire to do more. He had felt certain that after all the misery and humiliation he had gone through because of that little brat, he would have eviscerated him on the spot given such chance.  
  
That was when it hit him; when was the last time he had thought about Kyo?  
  
Kyo Kusanagi, his eternal rival, the man he would forever seek to defeat and kill, had been his reason for training, his reason for entering the tournaments, had practically been his reason for LIVING.  
  
Kyo Kusanagi had been his reason for seeking Happousai's tutelage.  
  
When was the last time he thought about his undefeated rival? He remembered clearly.  
  
It was the day of his most destructive confrontation with Happousai. The day he had almost given in once more to the Orochi blood that raged through his veins.  
  
The day he had met Nodoka.  
  
Ever since then, his mind had always been divided between burning hatred at the ancient lecher, and amazed wonder at the woman who had so easily drawn him in, and seduced him. The woman who had married him a month previous. And ever since that VERY memorable day, when he shared with her the passion that he had refused to admit to himself, the passion that didn't involve tearing something to ribbons and burning it to ash, Happousai's consideration had dropped almost to zero.  
  
'But then, she does tend to have that effect on a man,' he thought to himself, allowing a slight grin to crack his arctic features.  
  
Still, that left a new question: what now?  
  
"Well Yagami? Whaddya shay?" Soun's slur was obvious, and he had trouble concentrating on the man next to him. When had Iori invited all his twin brothers?  
  
Iori was startled out of his thoughts, and raised an eyebrow at Soun. "Well what?"  
  
Genma shook his head, and nearly fell off the stool from the vertigo it caused. "We thou' tha' maybe we could, ya know, shoin the shkoolsh. Sho how 'bout it? Tendo'sh goh' five daugh'ersh-"  
  
"Two, Shaotome, two... I think... wait... which number comesh afta' one? An' one more kid on the way beshidesh."  
  
Genma shook his head, then remembered his earlier incident and stopped. "Two. Anywaysh, we wash thinkin', 'lesh get uh kidsh hitched', ya know? Tha' way, the shkoolsh wou' be shoined. Yoor wife'sh pregma-preaghna-preg- knocked up, aint' she?"  
  
Iori turned away from them and considered it. If the child had a fraction of its parents' looks, he seriously doubted it would need an arranged marriage to find a good spouse or lover, but it couldn't hurt to have some prospects already in line. Besides, he had seen Kimiko, and he was fairly certain that any of her spawn would grow up to be worth a second look. He only thought it a minor waste that she couldn't find anyone better than Soun to marry.  
  
Besides, even if he had hardly bothered with the few things the old lecher had taught him, the thought of joining the schools did hold some small appeal; he had to admit, he felt more comradery towards these two losers than any of the others he had fought beside in his lifetime.  
  
"Yeah, sure, we can show 'em to each other and see what works out. But this isn't decisive, all right? The kid gets the final choice."  
  
Soun and Genma each nodded happily, having missed everything after 'Yeah', and promptly fell off their stools, out cold.  
  
Iori sighed, and paid their tabs for them before he left. He had to get home soon. Nodoka was still early in her pregnancy, and she didn't think that it yet affected the 'duties' of her 'manly husband'.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Iori lounged about the backyard as he watched little Ranma play around the yard, tackling invisible enemies and rolling around on the ground.  
  
Ranma had been a very healthy baby boy, born only a month apart from Soun's youngest daughter, Akane. Kimiko, unfortunately, hadn't come out of the birth as well as Akane had, but he had lost contact with Soun long ago, so he didn't know the outcome.  
  
His career as a musician was going rather well in his opinion. He had gained enough fame and money that several of his former opponents from the old tournaments had stopped by, wondering what had caused the infamous Iori to suddenly abandon his 'unquenchable bloodlust' for Kyo. He answered indifferently that he just didn't care about it anymore, and that he had moved on, a response which caused its fair share of raised eyebrows and suspicious looks. Many of them had challenged him to a match, perhaps thinking that he was out of practice. They usually left the interviews on a stretcher. As much as he hated to admit it, training under Happousai had done more for him than led him to Nodoka. And, murderous impulses or no, it still felt good to see Benimaru crumple up onto the ground like that. Ah, the memories!  
  
Iori's attention moved back to his 4-year old son, who was now making wild clawing gestures in front of him in clumsy imitation of his father's own strikes.  
  
The elder Yagami had started training Ranma a little on the side, but just couldn't find the time to train the boy seriously. Nodoka was always fussing over him, and insisting that he go out and make friends, especially among the little girls. While Iori had nothing against this in itself, it did cut into the time he would need to seriously train Ranma. That, among other things. Soon the boy would start school, and then he'd have even less time to train.  
  
Iori shook his head. Why did he even need to train the boy? He felt it was important; after all, Ranma seemed to like it a lot, and Iori felt a need to pass on what he knew, both the legacy of the Yagami clan's martial arts style and the teachings of Anything-Goes. But serious training seemed both impossible and unnecessary. Besides, if Nodoka caught him putting Ranma through the same kind of training he had gone through, he'd be sleeping on the couch for weeks at a time!  
  
  
  
His attention was momentarily diverted when he caught a flash of light, and the elder Yagami literally fell over in surprise as he witnessed little Ranma holding a purple spark in his hand in wonder.  
  
That was impossible! The earliest that any of the Yagami clan had ever manifested the purple flame was a record set by himself, when he was 9! For Ranma to have attained it in less than half that time......  
  
Suddenly, the last time he had talked to Genma came rushing back to him, and he cocked his head in thought.  
  
'Yagami,' Genma had said, 'let me tell you, you are a lucky man. To have a wife like Nodoka, and a son... why, you know, if I had a son, I'd take him on a training voyage. That was always my dream, you know. To produce an heir that would surpass me, and perhaps someday even the master in the martial arts. You should take your son on a training voyage, just you and him. Can't take the wife. Women coddle their children, make them weak.' That was about when Iori had tuned the man out at the time. Genma having a son of his own seemed less and less likely as time wore on; the man had lost his hair already, and muscle was being replaced by fat as the aging martial artist let his training slack off.  
  
He only considered a training voyage for a few seconds, though. That would mean sleeping alone with Ranma in a tent, which was certainly no better than staying home on the couch.  
  
He turned back to his son, and noticed that Ranma was casting nervous glances between his father and the dark ember in his palm. After making eye contact with his father, Ranma's nerve apparently broke, and he tossed the fire away, afraid to hold onto it any longer.  
  
Iori reevaluated his decision as a bush in the backyard caught, and was soon roaring in a purple blaze. If for nothing else, his training was necessary to make sure the boy could control his power. Nodoka would simply have to understand.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Nodoka did understand. She understood perfectly. But that didn't mean she liked it, or was going to let it happen without a fight.  
  
"No boy should be seperated from his mother at his age! You can't be serious!"  
  
Iori shook his head. He had perfected cold, rock-hard stubborn. "He needs to learn. He's a danger to himself and those around him unless I have time to work with him. We're going in 2 days."  
  
Nodoka fumed. True, her husband was simply stubborn most of the time, but she herself had perfected moving cold, hard rocks. Most of the time when they disagreed, Iori would state his side and stare at her, and she'd simply smile, tell her side, explain why she was right, then give him a kiss, say she was glad they had this talk, and leave everything settled just the way she wanted it. It usually took up to an hour before she even heard 'Wait a minute!'. But this was outrageous! It was messing up her calm, and she was now losing the battle against the immovable object.  
  
"This is absolutely out of the question! Who will feed you two? How will you fend for yourselves? Ranma needs his schooling!"  
  
Iori lowered his head slightly, and his red hair hid his stony eyes. "I've got enough to make sure we have food. I've fended for myself most of my life, and I can teach Ranma to do the same. I can get him into school occasionally, I'm sure, but his studies will suffer. It can't be helped."  
  
She wanted to slap him! If she wasn't certain it would hurt her more than him (at least physically), she would have. He couldn't do this to her! "Then I'm coming with you! You can't leave me here without my son! I'll... I'll...!"  
  
Iori's large hands gripped her arms, and Nodoka realized she could see his eyes again, searing into hers. "No. Please, you must stay here. This is as hard for me as it is for you, but it must be done. It's all for the best. You must stay."  
  
Kami, how was he so hard? She wanted to struggle, but knew that it was no good in Iori's deceptively gentle grip. A gorilla couldn't have moved any more than she could. He had won. In final submission, she tore her gaze away from his eyes, and tears started making tracks across her unblemished face.  
  
Under the wall of stone that was his face, Iori's icy will crumbled, and the large man gathered his wife into his arms, silently staring at the wall on the other side of the room as she sobbed gently into his shoulder.  
  
Little Ranma sniffled nearby. He didn't understand all that was going on, but he knew that him and his father would be leaving soon, and that his mother wasn't coming. He grabbed onto her leg fiercly, adding his own tears to the collection that soaked her dress.  
  
"Two years," she gasped, "two years, and then you come home. You WILL come home then. Promise me."  
  
Iori pushed her away to look into her eyes, and nodded. "Two years. We may have to disembark again after that, but we shouldn't need to be away for more than a few months at a time." He offered a grin, that one, maniacal, malicious grin that always made opponents flinch but made Nodoka swoon. And she smiled back.  
  
Down by the floor, little Ranma Yagami dried his tears as he saw his mother dry hers. Everything was going to be all right.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Iori had left no later than he had said, and had leapt right into Ranma's training.  
  
Unfortunately, he had hit a little bit of a roadblock there: he had never taught before, and didn't really have any idea how to do it. He had mostly taught himself over his years obsessing over Kyo's defeat at his hands, and he had been old enough to use methods that he would never use on someone Ranma's age. His only real sensei had been Happousai, and he'd sooner return to his home and let the boy burn down all of Tokyo before he put his son through THAT humiliation.  
  
Nodoka had always jokingly said he was inept at parenting, though Iori had often suspected that she was telling the truth. It only came to reason that he was equally inept at teaching.  
  
And so the training began. Iori figured that the logical thing was to train him the same way he himself had trained, only at a lesser degree. Split boards instead of boulders. Climb walls instead of mountains; that sort of thing.  
  
The problem was, Ranma didn't take to it as Iori had, not having the same focus, or for that matter, any kind of real goal to strive for. And thus came the whining and crying. Iori had expected it-the training was rough and the boy wasn't used to it-but he was still at a loss as for how to deal with it, so he simply learned to ignore it.  
  
He wasn't sure what had prompted his response one day as a 5-year old Ranma fell down on the ground bawling, clutching the rib bruised by his father's own hand, and asked, sobbing, why he had to do this. Why he had to go through this.  
  
Iori hadn't answered him before, and wasn't about to answer him then, but for some reason, a response floated to the forefront of his mind, and he spoke.  
  
"You train so you can be a better man than I am." Ranma had stopped crying and looked up at him in wonder, not having expected any kind of answer at all.  
  
Iori went on, staring at his fist, speckled with the blood of his own son. "I trained when I was nearly twice your age. I learned for a purpose. Do destroy. To kill. All of the hardship, all of the misery. To kill one man. And today, he still lives, and knows me only as the man who could never defeat him, that had no other reason to live but to try." It was all true, he realized. Most of his life had been a complete waste, smoldering in anger and hate at a man he hardly knew. If he hadn't met Nodoka by pure chance.........  
  
"You're not learning so you can kill someone. Your learning to keep something alive. Something that's a part of you..." Iori clenched and unclenched his fist, his child's blood running into the lines of his palm. "As well as keep another part of you as dead as possible. That's enough for today." Iori walked away and started making dinner. Ranma stood up and walked, zombie-like, to the tent they shared.  
  
Ranma never complained again.  
  
He cried often enough at the pain of his efforts, but they were silent tears, not the gasping bawls of normal children. Iori let him cry. Tears were how you knew you were working hard enough.  
  
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Missile after purple missile rocketed from Ranma's hands as he concentrated on keeping up his barrage. Part of containing his powers was making sure that his energy stores didn't grow faster than the rate that he learned to safely channel that energy. Which wouldn't have been a problem if his father had taught him his 'One for the Road' blast, but that was the easy way out, a way of launching more energy than one could normally use at once.  
  
The field in front of him was a charred wasteland, pockmarked by glowing purple embers. The energy blasts he had thrown hit their targets, reducing a rock, an old tire, and a mass of steel cable into so much ash and molten material.  
  
Ranma hadn't noticed his father's approach; not that Iori took any stock in stealth, or even tried to hide his movements, Ranma was simply too exhausted from his efforts to really notice until a massive hand encompassed his shoulder.  
  
Iori nodded at Ranma's display. The boy was indeed very powerful. There was no question that he learned at a faster rate than Iori had, and though he didn't possess the seemingly inborn strength that he had at 6 years, the strength that shaped the brutality of the Yagami style of martial arts, he was well on his way to earning that level of strength naturally.  
  
The boy's training was finally on-track completely, meaning that the second, somewhat less important phase of his training was about to begin.  
  
"Ranma, I think it's time you went to school."  
  
Ranma blinked.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Now this just wasn't fair.  
  
"This school is known for its high tolerance for violence, but-"  
  
They had attacked him, and he had defended himself. What was the problem here?  
  
"-this level of brutality is totally unnacceptable if we are to-"  
  
Sure, it had gotten a little intense, and he had attacked the ones that were trying to run away...  
  
"-maintain ANY level of discipline in our school. The image of several of our students being-"  
  
But he had to make an impression so that no more of the morons would do something as stupid as try to take his lunch money. It was for their own good!  
  
"-carted away on stretchers is hardly the kind of picture we want to present to-"  
  
*Briiiiiiiiiiiiiing!!* Lunch bell!  
  
"-parents concerned about their children's welfare at an educational facility that is famous for duels and such. Now, from now on I expect you to conduct yourself in an appropriate manner, and......... Mr. Yagami? We're not through yet! Where'd that boy go?"  
  
  
  
Ranma sped down the halls at top speed, hoping against hope that his incredible running power would make up for the extra distance between the cafeteria and the principal's office. It did, if not barely.  
  
"Last chow mein bread! Come and get it!" The lunch lady threw the plastic- wrapped package up in the air, and a dozen hands reached up, only to grasp at air. In the end, a lone shout of victory marked the ownership of the bread by the the one who always reached the cafeteria last: Ryoga 'unanimously voted to be the most likely person to manage to get lost on his way to his own funeral' Hibiki.  
  
Jumping above the heads of his disappointed classmates, Ryoga reached for his prize.  
  
*Moosh* Only to get a slipper in the face that sent him tumbling down into the tile floor.  
  
The other students gasped in surprise as the Hibiki boy landed on the floor face first, and another boy, one with jet black hair tied into a small pigtail, landed in an empty space on the cafeteria floor, chow mein bread in his mouth.  
  
Ryoga stood up slowly, and with a look of smoldering fury, gazed upon the one who had tread upon him so casually. The fool would live to regret it!  
  
"Hey! That's my bread!" Ryoga snarled at the other boy, baring his pointed fangs menacingly. To his astonishment, the jerk didn't flinch back in fear. He actually looked amused!  
  
Ranma smiled, then spit out the plastic-wrapped bread and stared at it. "Funny... 'cause unless your name is 'Kimemake Baking Company', then I don't see your name on it." Ranma smirked at the other boy, then popped the food out of its wrapper, and swallowed it in one gulp. He almost rolled his eyes as he FELT the tension of the crowd of spectators rise.  
  
A vein popped out on Ryoga's head, and he pointed a finger at the cretin that had dared to cross him. "My name is Ryoga Hibiki! Who're you?"  
  
Ranma smiled. "Ranma Yagami. Nice ta' meetcha."  
  
Ryoga growled again. "Ranma Yagami... for the insult of the chow mein bread, I won't forgive you! Meet me today in the yard behind the school after class, and I'll show you the error of your ways!"  
  
  
  
Ryoga stalked off, and Ranma glanced after him wonderingly.  
  
He tapped a passing student on the shoulder. "Hey, what's his problem?"  
  
The student blinked, then shrugged. "Hibiki? Well...... he's got... issues......"  
  
"Hibiki! That's an emergency exit! Your classroom is through the left exit! No! That's the kitchen! Left! Left! YOUR OTHER LEFT!!!" The lunchlady continued shouting at the directionally challenged boy, certain that her efforts were in vain but finding the will to try anyway.  
  
Ranma sweatdropped.  
  
  
  
Ranma just couldn't take it anymore. So far he'd been waiting in the schoolyard for half an hour, and that dolt Ryoga hadn't shown up! That guy couldn't actually be a wimp after all that arrogant bravado he'd shown in the lunch room, could he?  
  
Deciding that he was sick of waiting, he chose a random student and jumped out of the tree right in front of him, earning him a startled yelp.  
  
He paid the boy's surprise no mind, and got right to the point. "Do you know where Ryoga Hibiki is?"  
  
The boy blinked, then nodded. "Yeah. I was cleaning the desks in my classroom, and I saw him wandering around in the front yard."  
  
Ranma stared. "The front yard?! He said the fight was in the back yard!"  
  
The student shrugged. "Hibiki has a problem with directions. Personally, I'm surprised he's still on the school grounds." The student walked away, unconcerned with the outcome of yet another martial arts duel.  
  
Ranma shook his head. It was simply front yard vs. back yard. There was no way Ryoga could possibly be so dumb...  
  
But still, it wasn't like he had anywhere else to look. With that thought, Ranma bounded onto the roof.  
  
  
  
Ryoga stopped in front of the street, realizing, for a wonder, that it wasn't the proper direction. Nodding to himself, he turned to the left, came to a large birch tree, then took another left and walked over to some bushes, another left to bring him to the flagpole, and another before he realized he was looking at the street again. Panicking slightly, Ryoga tried to think it out, someting that he really wasn't very good at.  
  
'Let's see... I know that there's a swing set near the back... so all I have to find is the swing set!'  
  
Ryoga looked left, then right. "What?! I don't see any swings!"  
  
Regaining his composure, Ryoga tried to calm down. 'Okay, no swings. But I haven't crossed the street yet, so I just have to walk around the school building until I find the swings!'  
  
Ryoga nodded to himself, then looked up. And left. And right. "Hey! Where'd the move the school?!" He conveniently forgot to look behind him.  
  
Panicking anew, Ryoga latched onto the nearby birch tree, and start walking, always keeping his left hand on the trunk. He made three counter- clockwise rotations before he realized that the school building was in his line of sight.  
  
He breathed a sigh of relief, then looked at the tree and blinked. "OH NO!!! I recognize this tree!!" He clutched his head in terror, "I'm right back where I started!!"  
  
*Thud*  
  
Ryoga's attention was drawn away from his current predicament by the sound of someone attempting a three-story facefault.  
  
He snarled when he realized it was his accursed enemy, and took a step forward.  
  
Ranma peeled his face off the ground and stared at Ryoga. "Please tell me you're not really this stupid and you're just rehearsing a school play or something."  
  
Ryoga blinked. Twice. "Huh?"  
  
Ranma shook his head. "Never mind. You just answered my question."  
  
Ryoga ignored the jibe. He didn't get it anyway. "Yagami, you've managed to evade me thus far, but this is where it ends! Now I will crush you! HYAH!!" Ryoga charged. Ranma raised an eyebrow, then swept his arm forward.  
  
"Yami Barai!" Ryoga tried to stop in time, but was struck by the low-level fireball, and grunted as the flames quickly swept over him and dispersed.  
  
Ranma didn't expect such a quick recovery, however, and was subjected to an angry fist to the jaw that sent him reeling backwards.  
  
Ryoga grinned. He had no idea how his enemy had pulled that fancy trick with the colored fire, but apparently the nitwit thought that it would be enough to take him out.  
  
The young lost boy was surprised when his opponent didn't fall down from his blow, and quite shocked when Ranma actually chuckled. He hit harder than most adults! How could this kid have taken his blow and laugh it off?!  
  
Ranma grinned at his opponent. "Well now, maybe you're not a totally worthless opponent. That's nice to know, I was beginning to get bored by the 'competition' offered around here." Ranma attacked.  
  
Ryoga certainly had an edge when it came to sheer strength, but that meant nothing in this fight. His defense was practically nonexistant, so Ranma tore into the lost boy with a multitude of blows, batting away any counterattacks with his fists.  
  
Ranma landed an uppercut to Ryoga's jaw, and the other boy staggered backwards. Ranma rushed forward, grabbed his foe, then threw him over his shoulder, and the lost boy skidded into the base of the birch tree and, consequently, into unconsciousness.  
  
Ranma shook his head. "Feh. Good strength. Reasonable offense. Lame speed. Pathetic defense. He's obviously learned to take blows rather than avoid them." His evaluation Ryoga's skills complete, he walked back into the school building. After obtaining Ryoga's home address, Ranma stepped back out, pulled the lost boy onto his back in a fireman's carry, and started walking.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Ranma faced his father nervously, fidgeting with his fingers and unable to face or read Iori's expressionless gaze.  
  
"So, your first day at school."  
  
He didn't see how any of this was his fault! Why should he be punished?  
  
"You get into a big fight with 6 other kids at once..."  
  
They had it coming!  
  
"Sent 5 of them to the hospital..."  
  
Well yeah, but he already admitted that he had been a tad excessive there...  
  
"Got sent to the Principal's office, and then simply left for lunch..."  
  
What? They expected him to stand there and listen to the Principal drone on about bad behavior instead of eat?!  
  
"Then you beat up this Hibiki kid in a duel..."  
  
He started it!  
  
"And dragged him to his house afterwards, since he wasn't awake to walk home himself."  
  
He was TRYING to be nice! Besides, if what he saw in the yard was any indication, Ryoga probably would have found his way back to the school by tommorrow morning before he'd find his own house!  
  
Ranma flinched at Iori's touch, then realized that the elder Yagami was ruffling his hair, a fatherly gesture that was indeed rare in their family.  
  
Ranma looked up to see his father grinning fiercly.  
  
"That's my boy!"  
  
Ranma positively beamed.  
  
Iori's grin didn't fade. "Keep 'em on their toes, Ranma. And if the Principal gives you too much trouble, try and set up a parent/teacher conference." Iori cracked the knuckles of his free hand to emphasize that it would be a SHORT meeting.  
  
Ranma nodded happily.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
The days went by fast for Ranma, and he quickly adapted to a routine of sorts.  
  
He was right about Ryoga's abilities to get to and from school, so every morning he'd go over to Ryoga's house to tease him about it, and let the mentally unbalanced boy chase him all the way to his classroom, where Ranma would beat him down and then dump him in his seat.  
  
At lunch, Ranma would be the first to get his bread, and then, because he was a growing boy, and really hungry, grab the last piece of bread too, right before Ryoga could get it, leading to a fast-growing list of food- related offenses that Ryoga swore he would never forget.  
  
Ranma wondered how he could remember all of that when he couldn't remember which way to take to get to the bathroom.  
  
After school, Ranma would kick Ryoga on his way out, and let the lost boy follow him in a rage all the way back to the Hibiki household, a darkened footprint marring his fanged face. There Ranma would beat him up again, and then dump him inside through a window before heading home to his campsite.  
  
Ranma would then train with his father, or if Iori was busy with something, he'd go out on his own. Many of the local street gangs were of the opinion that 6-year olds couldn't take on teenagers with crowbars, and Ranma felt a necessary urge to put the fear of the small & cute in them.  
  
  
  
Then, one day, it all looked like it was coming to an end.  
  
  
  
"Ranma, we're gonna be leaving soon." Iori was busy roasting a chicken under his campfire, and Ranma jerked up from where he had been drooling at the sizzling juices.  
  
"Leaving? Why?"  
  
Iori didn't look up. "The two years is almost up. It'll be nice to see your mother again."  
  
Ranma gave a start at that, and a slow smile started to break out on his face. He would be going home.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
"What? He's leaving?!" The student who was being held up in the air by a miniature arm gulped and nodded.  
  
"A-At least th-that's what I heard. Yagami's going home in a few days." The boy was unceremoniously dropped onto the floor, and stared up in horror as a thin green outline encompassed the fanged lost boy.  
  
"How dare he... after all he's done to me... HE THINKS HE CAN JUST LEAVE WITHOUT HIS PROPER PUNISHMENT?!?!?!"  
  
Ryoga sped away from the classroom that he had ended up in front of trying to find his 3rd period class, and immediately went in search of his irritating rival. That he didn't know what class Ranma was in was neither a help nor hindrance.  
  
Eventually the end of school came, and Ryoga finally found his rival, albeit by accident.  
  
"RANMA!!! AT LAST I'VE FOUND YOU!!! YOU'LL PAY FOR TRYING TO HIDE FROM ME!!!!"  
  
Ranma dodged the haymaker, then snap kicked the lost boy into the opposite wall.  
  
"Hide nothing. I've been looking for YOU, nimrod."  
  
Ryoga glared at him ferociously. Ranma didn't even bother to treat him like a real enemy any more! Well, he'd learn the error of his ways!  
  
"Ranma! I challenge you! In the empty lot behind my house! Tommorrow we're going to settle the score once and for all!"  
  
Ranma stared at him for a moment, then nodded, leaping out of the window and onto the ground below.  
  
Ryoga chuckled darkly in delight. It would surely be a fight to remember!  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
First day:  
  
Ranma looked around, annoyed, his father squatting on the ground behind him.  
  
Iori shook his head. "I think he stood you up. It's almost dusk."  
  
Ranma stood staring at the house in front of him, then got up and ran towards it.  
  
  
  
Ranma ran back, shaking his head. "He's not at home. He's gotta be lost. That's it. He gets lost real easily."  
  
Iori stared at him. "He got lost on the way to the lot behind his own house?"  
  
Ranma nodded absently, and a sweatdrop formed on Iori's head.  
  
  
  
Second day:  
  
Iori was glad his son was taking this seriously. He really was. A martial arts challenge was a serious thing, and this Ryoga must've been a real jerk to have toyed with Ranma like this. But still, the kid was 2 days late!  
  
"He's not showing up Ranma, and we're wasting time. We should go now."  
  
Ranma glared at the house across the lot furiously. "He IS coming! That idiot just got lost! He'll be here! I know it!"  
  
Iori thought about just telling him to pack up and get ready to leave, but relented. If his son wanted to play the part of the fool, then he would let this little naievete run its course.  
  
  
  
Third day:  
  
Okay, enough was enough.  
  
"Ranma, I appreciate your determination, but he's NOT GONNA SHOW. He's probably at his school right now, laughing his head off because a couple of his friends told him you're still here waiting."  
  
Ranma clenched his fists and settled them on the ground, seething quietly.  
  
Then his head shot up. "No! Ryoga's an idiot and a jerk, but he's too much of an idiot to have set me up, and he's too much of a jerk to have calmed down and forgotten about it!"  
  
Iori stared at him expressionlessly, his hands jammed in his pockets.  
  
Ranma tore his eyes away. "One more day. Just one more day. Please."  
  
Iori stared some more, then shrugged and walked away. He had to mail the postcard to Nodoka anyway, to tell her they were coming home. Let the boy make a fool of himself.  
  
  
  
Fourth day:  
  
"Well, didn't I tell you?" Iori stared at his son with his arms crossed, tapping his foot.  
  
Ranma stared at the ground restlessly. "Yeah. I know. I just... I just can't believe he never showed up."  
  
Iori nodded. "Well now you know better. People don't disappear for 4 days after a challenge because they got lost. Nobody's that stupid."  
  
Ranma nodded his head sullenly, and started to walk towards his father.  
  
  
  
"YAGAMI!!! At last I've found you!!" Ranma's face lit up, and Iori turned to face the sudden voice.  
  
Iori didn't facefault often, but now was simply one of those times. A boy around Ranma's age with fangs and wearing a little travel-worn gi was standing at the edge of the lot, hand on his knees, and gasping for breath.  
  
Ranma's happy expression quickly shifted into a glare. "What kept you? You had me waiting for 4 days, you moron!"  
  
Ryoga's glare contained a hundredfold any meager amount of anger Ranma held against the lost boy. "SHUT UP!!! You have no idea the hell I've been through trying to make it here as quickly as I did!! Do you have any idea how hard it is asking directions when everyone around you talks by clicking their tongues?!?! And that was just the first day!!"  
  
Iori, who had just gotten up, found his face back in the dirt.  
  
Ranma stared at Ryoga in disgust. "Geez... you can't fight me now! Look at you! I could probably knock you out by breathing on you!"  
  
Ryoga saw red, and charged. "Never! I've finally found you! And now I will break you!!"  
  
Ranma's eyes narrowed, and he hopped back, then rushed forward in his own charge. This surprised Ryoga, as he didn't see how Ranma's supior skill and abilities could compensate for Ryoga's edge in strength in such a straighforward attack.  
  
He found out though, as Ranma angled himself to stay out of Ryoga's grip, then backhanded the lost boy across the face with his left hand, and grabbed his opponent's face with his right.  
  
Slamming Ryoga's head into the ground roughly, Ranma allowed himself a slight smile before the ground beneath Ryoga erupted in tiny explosions of purple, blasting Ryoga all over and leaving him the centerpiece of a large black spot on the Earth.  
  
Ranma stood up and dusted off his hands. "One hit. What a waste of time. You're right Pop, we should have left yesterday, at the latest." Shrugging his hands in his pockets, Ranma walked away to pack up his tent.  
  
Iori continued staring at the scene, trying to make sense of things. Eventually, he settled on wondering about the one thing he could readily grasp.  
  
"When did the boy learn the Dark Crescent Moon Slice?" So, with that thought foremost in his mind, he wandered off behind his son, leaving Ryoga still laying in his smoking crater.  
  
  
  
Ryoga couldn't move his head to watch all of this, but he wasn't in too much pain to hear.  
  
'Damn you Yagami! I'll never forgive you for this humiliation! Even if it takes me all my life, I swear I will crush you!' It was about at that point when consciousness left him.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
The reunion with his mother went as expected. Nodoka positively gushed as she exclaimed how much Ranma had grown, and the little boy had endured the fussing in fits of joyous laughter.  
  
It was fairly late when they had reached the Yagami household, and Nodoka had a veritable feast all lined up for the two most important men in her life.  
  
As Ranma ravaged the dinner table, Nodoka idly asked about his training.  
  
Ranma stopped eating, and considered his answer. Iori had warned him about this question, and how telling her the full extent of the answer could lead her to stopping his training. He couldn't, and wouldn't let that happen though. He had so much to do, so much training to go through before he could even hold a candle to his father, that he couldn't afford to let anything come between him and his training.  
  
So he merely told her about some of the weaker exercises. Swimming across lakes, without telling her about swimming up the raging rivers full of jagged rock. Breaking and blasting apart large objects, without telling her how they were hurled at him relentlessly. Simple dodging and endurance practice, without going into details about how it involved a game called 'Chicken' and a major freeway.  
  
He was certain that he had put it all in the best possible light, but when he looked back at his parents, his mother was staring at his father with a look as stony as any face Iori had ever put on. Ranma had always wondered why Nodoka always carried around her katana, found himself wondering just that right then, and wished he could stop.  
  
"Ranma, I would like to speak to your father, please. In private." Ranma gulped. Her voice held even less emotion than her face.  
  
Ranma nodded quickly and walked upstairs, only feeling slightly guilty at the 'you traitor' glare that his father shot him.  
  
  
  
He was worried when he got up for breakfast the next morning. There had been an AWFUL lot of noise last night, and he worried at what kind of conflict his parents had gotten into.  
  
Looking into the kitchen, though, Nodoka looked even happier than she was when she first saw them again, and was cooking breakfast with a cheer that made his fondest memories of her seem depressing.  
  
On the other hand, his father looked half-dead with exhaustion, yet showed no bruises or injury of any kind, and even had sort of a slight smile on his sleepy face.  
  
Ranma didn't wonder about it for long though. So long as everything was all right, there was no reason for him to worry.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Two weeks passed, and Iori had convinced Nodoka that Ranma should continue his training. Ranma took every opportunity to express enthusiasm over this, which seemed to cheer up his mother whenever she looked at him wistfully. 3 months was agreed to, and Iori and 6-year old Ranma left once again.  
  
But not before a goodbye the night before that caused so much bumping around that little Ranma had his pillow wrapped over his head trying to block out the noise. What were they DOING up there?!  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Iori almost smiled as he watched Ranma run circles around little Ukyo Kuonji, making faces and taunting the spatula wielding little girl. They had been like that for all of the two months since he and Ranma had left home, and Iori was only mildly disappointed that the boys training had been slacking a little bit due to his new friend.  
  
Iori shook his head at Akira, then took another bite of okinomiyaki and swallowed before replying.  
  
"I agree they get along, but Ranma's already got some possible wives lined up for him. I'm not going to arrange anything permanent."  
  
Akira raised an eyebrow. "I don't suppose you'd change my mind if I offered my okinomiyaki cart as a dowry, would you?"  
  
Iori simply shook his head, and watched as a steamed Ukyo chased Ranma up a tree, trying to swat him with her oversized training spatula.  
  
Akira sighed, and handed Iori a can of juice to wash down the okinomiyaki. Iori accepted with a nod, and started filing through some mail he had recieved at his temporary address.  
  
Akira blinked as the tree went up in purple flame, and Ukyo squeaked and scrambled away in fright. Ranma laughed, leapt onto the ground, and then stuck out his tongue at his best friend before dashing away before a barrage of clumsily hurled throwing spatulas.  
  
Akira turned back to Iori just in time to be met head-on with a jet of fruit juice.  
  
*Pthoo* Iori didn't seem to notice who he had struck with the blast, his eyes locked onto the simple postcard he was reading.  
  
Juice dripped off of Akira's chin. "Something wrong Yagami?" He asked dryly.  
  
Iori started stuttering, something very out of character for him.  
  
"No-No-Nodo...... Nodoka's pregnant!"  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
"What?! You can't leave!! You can't!!" Ukyo glomped onto her best friend fiercely, unable to face the possiblity that she might not see him again.  
  
"Uc-Ucchan... c-c-can't... breathe..." Ranma choked out.  
  
Ukyo let go of him, and her best friend collapsed onto the ground. "But why?!"  
  
Ranma shook his head in an effort to clear it as he got up. "My mom's gonna have a baby. Pop thinks we need to be there." He shrugged. "I'm really gonna miss you, Ucchan."  
  
"Of course you'll miss me, you jerk!" Ukyo shouted through her tears. Managing to calm down somewhat, Ukyo grasped Ranma's hands in hers.  
  
Ranma stared in wonder at that. His hands, that could crack rock, his hands, that could send whatever they touched into a purple blaze, she held without any hesitation or fear. He was her friend, would never hurt her, and Ukyo knew it.  
  
"Promise me Ranchan," she said seriously, staring into his eyes, "promise me that we'll be friends... and... and more! Forever!"  
  
Ranma could see that this was important to her for some reason, so he nodded solemnly. "Friends and more. Forever. I promise."  
  
Ucchan gave him a last crushing hug, the tears falling freely from her hazel eyes.  
  
  
  
Iori nodded to himself as Ranma ran up to him, wearing his little backpack, stuffed to overflowing.  
  
"Did you say goodbye to Ukyo?"  
  
Ranma nodded. "Yeah. I'm really gonna miss him."  
  
Iori gave a start, then looked at Ranma. Ranma didn't seem to notice his father's surprise, and kept moving forward, eyes unfocused as he walked.  
  
"He was my best friend. We did everything together. And he didn't get angry all the time like Ryoga."  
  
Iori blinked. The pronoun was unmistakable. Ranma apparently had never realized that Ukyo was a girl.  
  
Ranma finally noticed that his father had stopped, and looked back. "Something wrong Pop?"  
  
Iori stared for a moment, then shook his head in the negative and started forward. No need to confuse the boy. Chances were he'd never see Ukyo again anyway.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
They made it back quickly, much to Nodoka's relief, and before Ranma's 7th birthday, a tiny baby girl was born, more than a month and a half early. She was healthy though, and Ranma soon had a brand-new baby sister named Yurumi (named after a combination of some of the more annoying female opponents Iori had faced in his tournament years). She had fiery red hair like her father, and soon filled out after she was taken home.  
  
Ranma looked upon the whole thing with wonder, but redoubled his training efforts alongside school to make sure that he didn't get rusty.  
  
He had taken to the elder brother role very well, and once Yurumi was old enough to crawl, he often entertained her by juggling purple fireballs. It often amazed Iori how undisturbed Nodoka was when presented with his clan's abilities. Throughout most of his life, those around him had treated him like a monster (which he was, at times). Of course, they had had more reason than the Yagami's purple flames to do so, but it still struck him as odd that Nodoka had never even questioned him about it, and felt all right with her son handling what was obviously a very dangerous power so casually.  
  
Then Iori had noticed that Ranma seemed to be getting restless. He was now nine years old, and his power was still rising, but he didn't have enough outlets for that power. The boy had taken to sneaking out at night, and the next morning there was alway talk about an abandoned building that had been wrecked and burned or a part of a scrap yard that had been found in ashes with former car frames smashed apart and such. Ranma would calmly admit the 'crime' when questioned, and simply reason that he wasn't hurting anybody or destroying anything important.  
  
This was good enough for Iori, but the elder Yagami started to wonder if he should fully take up Ranma's training again. Ranma had never learned more than the basics of the Yagami style martial arts, and Iori hadn't even bothered with the basics of Anything-Goes.  
  
The decision was made when Ranma actually came up to him and asked to depart on a training trip, his eyes burning with a hot determination that Iori hadn't remembered seeing before.  
  
Nodoka didn't put up much of a fight, and mostly tried to prevent any notion that he might take Yurumi along. He had to laugh at that. He couldn't even begin to imagine training a girl, much less his own daughter. Girls had different needs than boys, and she would mostly slow down Ranma's progress anyway.  
  
  
  
That night, Ranma's 10th birthday, and the night before they left, he handed Ranma a folded package.  
  
Ranma looked up at his father and blinked. "Uh... thanks. What is it?" His father didn't reply, and only smiled in that terrifying manner of his.  
  
Nodoka looked on in interest, and Yurumi watched with shining curiosity, squirming on her mother's lap.  
  
Ranma shrugged and tore the thin wrapping, and held up a large black jacket. One with a crescent moon emblem on the back.  
  
"Wow! Man, thanks Pop!" Ranma shouted in joy, and then draped it over himself.  
  
Nodoka giggled. "Dear, it fits him like a blanket."  
  
Iori chuckled. It sounded dark, but those that knew him best could tell it held real mirth. "He'll grow into it. That material WILL last." He gestured to his own jacket, the one with the exact same symbol on its back. Nodoka didn't mention that the one he had gotten Ranma was a little bit bigger than the one he himself wore; it wasn't important anyway.  
  
She smiled at her son as he tried to walk around in it. It came all the way down to his ankles, and his fists were totally concealed within the sleeves. Ranma was growing up to be such a strong and handsome young man. In her mind, she had already envisioned a muscular, bare-chested Ranma standing tall while masses of beautiful young women swooned at his feet, offering their bodies to him without hesitation.  
  
Iori saw Nodoka get that wet, glassy look in her eyes, and realized that if he wanted to get ANY sleep that night, they'd all have to go to bed NOW.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
And so it went.  
  
Ranma and Iori trained unceasingly, and the elder Yagami struggled constantly to push his son to his limits and beyond.  
  
Ranma had adapted very well to the Yagami family style, though Iori was surprised that when he introduced Anything-Goes into their normal exercises, Ranma took to it better than most fish take to water.  
  
After some quick contemplation, it made sense. Anything-Goes was pretty much based on adaptability, which was one of Ranma's primary talents. Also, it preached speed and strategy, which the boy also excelled at. The Yagami style was nothing to scoff at; it was a deceptively simple style based on relentless, brutal offense and unyielding, rock-hard defense. Ranma had been learning that since he started his training, and was very, very good at it, but as Iori tracked Ranma's progress, he couldn't help but wonder if he was integrating Anything-Goes into the Yagami style, or the other way around.  
  
  
  
Every other month or so, Iori would return home with his son to visit Nodoka and check up on Yurumi. They'd stay for perhaps a month, which Iori deemed enough time for Nodoka to bother him sufficiently about his manners and his studies, but not enough time for it to sink in enough for him to remember once they left again. Iori was raising a fighter, not an aristocratic scholar, and he knew that things would only go his way outside of Nodoka's loving realm of influence. By the time Ranma had turned 15, Iori had plain run out of ideas. He had already subjected Ranma to the full range of training techniques he had undergone as an adult out for Kusanagi's blood, and the boy had gotten up and asked for more.  
  
Iori understandably refused to put his son through any training he himself wouldn't have gone through; that was why he had burnt the booklet containing that silly cat-fist nonsense. So he started bringing Ranma to training grounds across Japan. There were all sort of weird areas with rather extreme methods to build one's skills: A construction site with I- beams sticking out of the ground to hit and jump on, a group of thin wooden poles above a patch of steel needles, and mountain paths with regular rock and mud slides. They had even stopped by that stupid island where swordsmen were said to train and spent days blowing up swarms of watermelons.  
  
It wasn't enough for Ranma, however, who had taken to the training with a feverish determination, and always came through wanting to hurry on to the next site. A few times the boy had even suggested himself that they skip going back home and keep training.  
  
Recently, Ranma had come upon a guide book of training areas in China, and it was all Iori could do to keep Ranma from running off by himself before he could get the boy back home.  
  
  
  
"China? Are you sure?" Nodoka looked at her son worriedly as he showed off for his little sister. He had grown into the jacket Iori had bought him somewhat, but it was still too big for him; his fingers stuck out of the ends of the sleeves up to the knuckles, and he could almost hide his head whenever he hiked it up onto his back. He never took it off though, except to sleep and bathe. Like his father.  
  
Iori shrugged. "It's his idea. I don't really get it. I was never this eager when I was in training." That wasn't completely true, but then, Iori had had an advantage over Ranma in that he had a focus, something to strive for above all else. He was at a loss over what drove the boy.  
  
"He might not understand. Going to a foreign country just isn't the same as wandering about Japan. How long will you be away?" She realized that this implied her permission for them to go, but she doubted she could have really stopped them. Her husband she held almost complete power over, but she hadn't found anything yet that she could deny her son if he really wanted it.  
  
Iori sighed and leaned against the doorframe. "Probably a year at least. Not more than a year and a half." Occasional flashes of purple indicated when Ranma fed his flames into his attacks. Ranma had started feeding his powers into his normal attacks more and more often instead of concentrating them into a single explosion, or tossing out projectiles. Iori didn't really like it; it reminded him of Kyo's attacks too much, and of the life he was now disgusted to have lived.  
  
"A year. I'll miss Ranma's 16th birthday." She watched forlornly as Ranma kicked upward behind him, trailing purple fire from his boot. Besides the jacket, Ranma usually wore black sweatpants or dark slacks, as well as a pair of heavy boots. Under his jacket he merely wore a white tank top.  
  
Nodoka sighed herself, then turned toward Iori. "You may leave tommorrow."  
  
Iori nodded silently, and was about to leave, when Nodoka suddenly stopped him with a word.  
  
"But-!"  
  
Iori jerked to a halt, and turned around.  
  
"But... I have one condition." Nodoka turned around, and regarded the man she loved with all the serenity and firmness of a queen addressing her assembly. "By the time Ranma comes back home, he must have a girlfriend!"  
  
As mentioned before, Iori didn't usually facefault. He felt a pang of nostalgia as his head was reacquainted with the ground, and he idly wondered whatever became of that Hibiki kid.  
  
Confident that she had gotten her point across, Nodoka left the room to prepare dinner.  
  
  
  
"Bye-bye Rammie!" Yurumi waved to her older brother as he boarded the train after his father.  
  
Ranma waved back, and the 8-year old girl giggled and clutched the bag of sweets Ranma had bought her before they reached the train station.  
  
Nodoka dabbed at a stray tear as the train departed for the harbor, and started daydreaming about the meeting Ranma again a year from now, when he was 16, and (in her estimation) a man! And then, in just a few years afterwards: Grandchildren!  
  
Yurumi munched on her candy contentedly as she watched her mother go starry-eyed and lose contact with the real world. It happened often enough that it no longer alarmed her, and she patiently sat down and waited for the next train, which would hopefully generate enough noise to wake up Nodoka.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Iori took in the sights of the towering mountains around him as he, his son, and their guide trekked through the valley. The Guide was a pudgy, short man, who talked in broken Japanese and wore a green army uniform. Iori ignored him mostly, but they had relied on such people throughout their stay in China. Iori had learned enough Chinese to get food and a place to sleep, but couldn't read a single symbol of their dialect.  
  
Ranma was now 16, and had kept growing appropriately. He had acquired his father's body structure, thin with hard, lean muscle, though he wasn't as broad in the shoulders as his father. The boy listened and looked about constantly, and Iori could tell from experience that while he looked at everything, he was mentally evaluating whether it was worth the trouble of attacking. Tearing and beating solid beams of steel had become a recent hobby with him, in an effort to finally attain his father's monstrous strength. And the way he was going, that wouldn't take very long, in Iori's opinion.  
  
  
  
"Here sirs, we come to ancient training ground Jusenkyou, Valley of Cursed Springs! Is very old and ancient place, sirs!"  
  
Iori looked at the field in disgust. Just a bunch of pools of water with bamboo poles sticking out of them. Balance practice. Not his thing. Ranma, on the other hand, highly valued his agility, and could benefit greatly from jumping around on poles that couldn't possibly support his weight.  
  
Ranma hadn't been given any kind of signal or instruction from his father, so he turned towards the guide.  
  
"You said these grounds were cursed. Whaddya mean?"  
  
The Guide shook his head. "No one train here no more. Ancient curse very bad. Any who fall in spring take body of thing that last drown there!"  
  
Iori blinked and turned toward the Chinese man. "No kidding? Like what?"  
  
The Guide pointed to a spring. "Spring of Drowned Slug." Then another spring. "Spring of Drowned Earthworm." And finally, a little spring off to the side slightly. "Spring of Irritatingly Uber-Cute Young Girl with Psychic Powers."  
  
Iori blinked again. "Oh. So that's what happened to Athena. Stay away from that spring, boy."  
  
"Right," Ranma replyed dryly.  
  
Iori gave him a look. "Well? Start hopping around the place."  
  
Ranma gave a start. "But... the curse..."  
  
Iori grinned. "Well then, you'd better not fall in, huh?"  
  
Ranma's eyes widened slightly, and then he nodded and jumped onto the nearest pole, immediately rebounding off of it to alight on another pole.  
  
  
  
The Guide watched in respectful horror. "Oh, sir, you sure that wise? There many spring you no want your son to fall!"  
  
Iori nodded. "Ranma's good at what he does. He'll be all right."  
  
The Guide frowned worriedly, but accepted the decision and entered his hut.  
  
Iori looked about a bit, and then heard a slight crashing noise coming from behind a wall of trees to his left. Content that Ranma could do a few laps without him, the elder Yagami entered the forest to investigate.  
  
  
  
He soon found the source of the crashing noises, in the center of a clearing in the woods, which was dominated by a single huge tree that stuck out far above the forest canopy. Tied to two different branches hung a boulder and a young woman of about 18, who was hanging upside-down, and was obviously unconscious. One of her arms was tied behind her back, leaving the other arm free, but with a cloth tied around the fist that had a hole in it only for the index finger.  
  
For someone who knew about the Bakusai Tenketsu, the reason for the cloth and rope was obvious, and the exercise seemed centered around learning to shatter rock with a single touch.  
  
To someone who had no clue why they restricted all but a single finger, and saw only a boulder that repeatedly smashed against the trainee, the technique's secondary, and more useful application was equally obvious, and all Iori saw was endurace training, though the whole thing with her finger seemed to hint at something else.  
  
There was a small crowd of other girls on the ground off to the side, watching the proceedings with a queasy mix of sickening horror, submission to the inevitable, and a spattering of eager anticipation.  
  
Iori was far more interested in the training though, and watched as the girl who was knocked out was gently let down, and another was tied up and then hoisted several meters above the ground.  
  
A girl in another nearby tree hauled her rope back, which pulled the boulder out of the perpendicular position, and was eventually let go, letting the huge sphere of rock descend on its victim, who let out of the barest of whimpers before being subjected to rather intense pain.  
  
  
  
{Ouch. That HAD to hurt.} Shampoo nodded in agreement with her comrade's conclusion.  
  
Even though none of the warriors of that particular group were of an age or level where the breaking point training was mandatory, they were those who felt they possessed the courage and stamina to take on that particular training early.  
  
*SLAM!!*  
  
Of course, if it weren't for the upcoming tournament, Shampoo was certain that many of the girls that surrounded her wouldn't be here right now. The Bakusai Tenketsu was often described as 'cram training', since it gave the trainee such an excellent edge in endurance in record time. Of course, like all forms of cramming, it wasn't always totally worth the trouble.  
  
*SLAM!!*  
  
Shampoo winced. She had already gone through the rounds several times before, and had regretted it for days afterward each time. Not that she was slacking in her training. On the contrary, she just felt it was necessary for a warrior of her stature.  
  
*SLAM!!*  
  
Oh. Look at that. The woman who was hauling the boulder up looked rather worn out. It was quite fortunate... uh... UNfortunate that Shampoo had been one of the last in line.  
  
Suddenly, two of the girls next to her poked her to get her attention.  
  
{Hey, Shampoo, there's some guy over near the edge of the clearing watching us.}  
  
Shampoo blinked, then looked over to where they were gesturing, ready to chase away Mousse if it were him lying in wait to 'care for his darling Shampoo's injuries'.  
  
Her tension broke as soon as she saw the man. It was obvious that the redhead looking about casually with his hands in his pockets wasn't from around here at first glance; nobody in the village had clothes like that. After a few more seconds of observation, it was simple to deduce that he wasn't even Chinese.  
  
{Isn't he just gorgeous? Look at him!} Linen and Towel giggled like a couple of schoolgirls.  
  
Shampoo rolled her eyes, glad that she at least had some kind of control on her hormones. {Don't be ridiculous. He must be older than your father, Linen.}  
  
She sniffed. {You know, you're really no fun. It's no wonder you don't have any friends.}  
  
Shampoo glared at her dangerously, and turned back to the line in a huff. Well excuse HER for not gushing over every man that crossed her path!  
  
{Hey! Look! He's leaving!}  
  
{I wonder where he's staying? The nearest village is in the other direction?}  
  
{Let's follow him and find his campsight! Maybe he's a fighter!}  
  
Shampoo ignored them for the most part, until she realized what direction it was that the man had gone. She turned around just as Towel and Linen disappeared behind the trees.  
  
{Towel! Linen! That part of the woods is forbidden! You're heading towards the Cursed Springs! Hey!} Shampoo jumped out of line and followed after them, the rest of girls giving her startled glances, unsure of what to do.  
  
  
  
One person waiting nearby in the shadows had recognized her voice, however, and the direction of her flight. And he knew exactly what he had to do.  
  
  
  
Shampoo raced after her fellow Amazons while simultaneously cursing their stupidity. Still, she mused, she had gotten out of the breaking point training for the day. How convenient... er... frustrating!  
  
At her top speed she passed through the trees quickly, and soon beheld the legendary training ground of Jusenkyou in all its deceptively tranquil glory.  
  
She scanned the ground around the Guide's hut, and soon located her quarry. Linen and Towel were sitting around a purple campfire along with the redheaded man, and shooting starry-eyed looks at someone jumping around on the poles. Shampoo took a few steps forward before she noticed what was wrong with that statement and fell down. A PURPLE campfire?!  
  
Towel and Linen turned at the noise, and giggled as Shampoo picked herself up. Then they stopped as the lavender-haired girl glared hard at them.  
  
{What do you think you're doing? The Cursed Springs are forbidden to us! You know that!}  
  
The two girls' eyes widened, and they looked about in wonder, as if just realizing where they were. Actually, considering how airheaded they were, Shampoo wouldn't have been surprised if they DID just realize it.  
  
She turned to the redheaded man, sparing a curious glance at the dark fire. {I apologize for the trouble. We will bother you no longer.}  
  
The man stared, then slowly responded, {Sorry, I don't speak Chinese. Japanese.}  
  
Shampoo blinked, then formed the words in her head, glad that she taken the time to at least learn SOME Japanese from the elder's classes. "Shampoo sorry. We no bother you."  
  
Iori nodded. "No trouble."  
  
Turning back to her companions, Shampoo noticed, much to her annoyance, that the girls had gone all calf-eyed at what they had been staring at before, and looked for who it was.  
  
She quickly changed her opinion. She couldn't blame them for staring at all. He, at least, was their age. And he WAS gorgeous.  
  
The young man in the large black jacket was doing gymnastic displays all over the field of springs, swinging around bamboo poles like gymnastics bars, and doing somersaults and backflips in-between landings.  
  
At first she thought he was just trying to show off, doing such things in such a dangerous place, but she quickly realized that he was completely oblivious to his audience, simply concentrating on doing the most difficult acrobatics he could manage.  
  
{He's good, isn't he?}  
  
{He's not as good as he is handsome!}  
  
Shampoo shook her head to clear it, and refocused her glare on the two girls. {As if you could tell, the way he's jumping about like that. Come! We'll be in even more trouble than we already are if someone else tells the elder what happened before we do. And-}  
  
{GET AWAY FROM MY SHAMPOO!!!}  
  
  
  
The three Amazons all stopped and sweatdropped, and Shampoo groaned.  
  
Iori would might have connected the shout that had ended with 'Shampoo' to the girl that had addressed him earlier, but his attention was mainly occupied by the group of sharp, pointy objects flying towards him at high speed. Iori crossed his arms in front of him in a block, and by all rights the weapons should have sliced him apart regardless, but the struck and bounced off as if they had hit steel or rock rather than cloth and flesh, leaving not a mark on their victim. The knife barrage was followed by a chain that whipped around Iori's legs, and tightened around his body.  
  
Shampoo turned angrily towards her unwanted suitor. {Mousse! What are you doing?! This man has done nothing!}  
  
Mousse nodded. {Yes. Well, regardless, we must get you back to the village Shampoo. You know I won't tell the elders what happened, but-}  
  
*Ahem* {I'm Linen, not Shampoo.} Linen interrupted.  
  
Mousse turned to the next figure, and opened his mouth to speak.  
  
{Keep going.} Said Towel.  
  
Mousse turned to the last figure, and blinked at the blurry, yet colorful orb that was cocked back and ready to smash his face in.  
  
However, Shampoo's brand of gratuitous violence was averted by the sharp sound of steel being ripped apart.  
  
*Ka-shink!* The chain fell on the ground around Iori's legs, and the elder Yagami stood up to his full height, head down, hands in his pockets. Iori spared a glance at the kid with long hair and robes with glasses settled on his head, before dropping his face to the ground again, his blood-red hair obscuring his face.  
  
"What's the big idea attacking me?" His voice was quiet and calm. Shampoo and the other girls backed away fearfully.  
  
Mousse wasn't so bright, and turned back to Shampoo. Or at least the mass of blurs that hopefully contained Shampoo. {Never mind him. Come on Shampoo, we have to leave quickly. Now-}  
  
"Perhaps you didn't hear me. I said..." Iori kicked one of the blades stuck awkwardly into the ground, and sent it flying towards Mousse. Mousse only saw it at the last instant, and didn't have time to dodge as it sliced across his shoulder. He gasped and let out a strangled cry, then staggered forward.  
  
"... What's the big idea attacking me?" Iori finished, facing towards the ground again.  
  
Mousse glared in pain and fury at the man that dared attack him. A thin stream of blood, several ribbons, a rubber hose, and a golf ball all fell out of the cut in the robe. Mousse's aura glared red.  
  
"How dare you attack me, fool?! You'll pay for that!!" Mousse spread his arms wide, and several nasty metal objects pokes their way out of his sleeves.  
  
Shampoo and the others stepped back wisely. Shampoo was shaking her head. {I hope the outsider kills Mousse quickly. He's annoying, but he doesn't really deserve a slow, painful death.} The others nodded sagely in agreement.  
  
  
  
Mousse flung his arms in a wide arc, sending a wave of knives and shuriken out to tear apart his enemy. Iori simply took his hands out of his pockets, and suddenly his form blurred as he slipped through the attack. Not around or below it, but simply weaved through it, afterimages trailing behind him as he seemed to slide across the ground. Mousse was too shocked to dodge the clawing punch even had been able to defend against it normally, and was sent flying backwards, a set of shallow gashes marring his robes and chest.  
  
"LOOK OUT!!!" Iori only took a moment to wonder why Shampoo was warning him about the attack he had already slipped through, before he realized she wasn't talking to him.  
  
Turning around, he saw the still airborne projectiles sailing towards Ranma, who seemingly just noticed their presence.  
  
Ranma was no slouch with his reflexes though, and his hands blurred, knocking away all but one of the sharp missiles. The last one he hit out of the air with a snap kick, amazingly still keeping his balance on the pole.  
  
The bamboo, unfortunately, wasn't able to defend itself in this manner, and instantly fell to the restrictions of gravity once a throwing axe made a diagonal cut in the fragile stalk. Ranma had not been so prepared for this, and plummeted in frozen horror toward the spring below.  
  
*Sploosh*  
  
Iori was stunned, not knowing what to do. At the familiar sound of a splash, the Guide had exited his hut, shaking his head, and made his way to the disturbed waters.  
  
  
  
Of course, not everyone was frozen from the turn of events.  
  
"Damn you! It's not over yet!" A chain wrapped itself around Iori's torso.  
  
The other Amazons' attention shifted once again, and they took yet another step back as a fierce purple halo encompassed Iori's imposing figure.  
  
"YOU!!!" *Snap* went the chains, like they were made out of fishing line.  
  
"WILL!!!" 'Urk' went Mousse, as Iori yanked the chain that was still connected to the male Amazon, closing the distance between them rapidly.  
  
"PAY!!!" *Crunch!* went the ground, as Iori slammed the nearsighted fighter into it.  
  
Even the Guide forgot about the spring's victim as Iori developed a sort of standing CPR position over Mousse, and then blasted him into the Earth with an explosion of purple fire. Blasted him several times, actually.  
  
*Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!* Iori lifted his hands high in the air, trailing dark smoke into the wind from such a heavy output of energy at once. "SHINE!!"  
  
*BLA-A-A-A-AM!!!!* The ground shook slightly at the detonation, and cracks formed in the earth that quickly filled with rushes of purple energy. Nearby some trees ignited, and the flames spread quickly to burn the wooden giants to blackened splinters.  
  
Shampoo gulped and slowly slid down into a sitting position on the ground as Mousse's body bounced away into one of the other springs, completely unidentifiable from a particularly large piece of charcoal.  
  
That particular spring let out hissing tendrils of smoke from the heat that was suddenly poured into it, but it was ignored by all, particularly Iori.  
  
  
  
Breathing hard from the exertion of expanding upon his usual Ya Otome assault, Iori rushed to the waters his son had fallen in...  
  
A body shot up out of the spring before he could reach it, and he stopped short. It was a body in his son's clothes. A body with hair as red as his own; as red as Yurumi's. A body with breasts, he realized dumbly.  
  
Ranma gasped for air and gripped the edge of the spring frantically, coughing up water.  
  
Ranma was just barely coherent enough to hear the Guide's sorrowful words.  
  
"Oh, very sorry sirs. That one called Spring of Drowned Girl, yes. It have very tragic legend of girl who drown there 1,500 year ago! Now any who fall in take body of young girl! Is very cursed spring!"  
  
Ranma's breath caught, despite her need for new oxygen in her lungs, and she slowly looked down at her chest. Twin orbs jutted out from beneath her tank top, plain for everyone to see since her jacket was open.  
  
"R-Ranma... you-you... you're a girl......"  
  
Ranma looked up into Iori's eyes, to see what? Fear? Disgust? Disappointment? All at once, the most important thing that had ever been said to her in her life came rushing back to her, the words that had shaped the rest of her existence forever.  
  
'You train so you can be a better man than I am,' her father had said.  
  
'-a better man than I am.'  
  
'-a better man than-'  
  
'-better man-'  
  
'-MAN-'  
  
That word echoed over and over in her head. She had failed. The one thing that her father had expected of her, the only thing she needed to do to earn her father's respect. She had failed. One split decision to dodge or deflect. The wrong decision. One dunk in a spring.  
  
SHE HAD FAILED.  
  
Her chest felt tight, and for some reason, her entire body felt warm, hot in fact, even as her heart formed into a cold lump in her newly expanded bosom.  
  
She suddenly coughed up some blood, and started shaking all over. She felt so hot.  
  
Her father's voice attempted to pierce the shroud in her mind.  
  
"Ranma! Ranma! You've got to calm down! Stop!"  
  
Her father. All that trouble, all the training her father had put him through. No. Put HER through. She was a man no longer.  
  
All a waste.  
  
Her vision blurred, and she began to feel all rational thought leave her. Only a pit remained, a pit filled with terror, anger, shame, and............ something else. Something that called out to her, offered her release. Something that burned inside the fear, fed the anger, and consumed the shame that spiralled her into a deep sleep...  
  
................................................................. Failed..................................................................... ..  
  
  
  
Iori backed up slowly, prompting the girls that had already seen his awesome display of power to scramble away rapidly. Anything this guy feared, they did NOT want to mess with.  
  
All of a sudden, the redheaded girl that they thought had convulsed into unconsciousness started to get up slowly.  
  
"No! RANMA!!!" Iori's screams were to no effect.  
  
The Amazons gasped at the sight and cringed away. Pale steam poured from Ranma's mouth in steady bursts of breath. Her form stood up, but hung hunched over, her arms hanging limply. But her eyes.  
  
Her eyes were an empty yellow.  
  
"Ranma... no..." Iori slumped down in defeat.  
  
"Grrrrrr...... Grugh.... Graaaaagh....... Graugh! Graugh!! GRAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!!!!"  
  
  
  
And so the flame was reborn, and the fires of the Orochi once again set the sky ablaze.  
  
  
  
*************************************************************************** *******  
  
End of Chapter 1  
  
  
  
Translations  
  
Doushita- "How's this"  
  
Shine- "Die"  
  
Yami Barai- Dark thrust  
  
Ya Otome- Maiden masher 


	2. The Obligatory "Introduction to the Tend...

And now, for something completely different:  
  
  
  
"Okay everyone, just take your seats in the circle. That's right, let's all settle down and spend a few moments to get comfortable." The skinny woman with wire-rimmed glasses and a remarkably dull, nasal voice droned to the small crowd of women, who all took their seats in a small circle in the middle of the auditorium.  
  
"Now that we're all settled down, let me inform you that nothing you say here will be mocked, laughed at, or insulted. We're all here to support each other and help each other, and childish behavior will not be tolerated. We want to learn and heal, not put others down, okay? Good. And now that it has been confirmed that your checks have all cleared, I can call this meeting of WEPHMSG, Women with Extremely Powerful Husbands Marriage Support Group, to order. My name is Clara, and I'll be your counselor. And remember, I care." She stretched the last word out to emphasize it, in an attempt to get the surrounding women to believe it.  
  
  
  
Clara turned to the first woman to her right. "Mrs. Howard, let's start with you. Describe your relationship with your husband."  
  
The woman sighed deeply and sat back in her intensely uncomfortable fold- up chair. "Well, my husband, as you might know, is Geese Howard. Our relationship was fairly one-sided at first, I think. He was this monsterously powerful crime lord in South Town, and I was just this young, foolish girl who thought that being able to throw energy waves was cool and wanted a rich husband."  
  
She shifted uncomfortably. "Well, being young and foolish, I made some bad choices, and I got pregnant. Geese wasn't very supportive at all, because, well, he had lots of women flocking to him, and I had lied and said I was on the pill. Nevertheless, I threatened a lawsuit if he didn't agree to pay child support, and he, in return, threatened to smash me with his Raging Storm. Eventually we reached a compromise of sorts, and we agreed to get married, but only if he could see other women. Naturally, our relationship took something of a downward turn about then. It's IMPOSSIBLE to get him to do anything around the house, and whenever I complain about how lazy he is, the man actually THROWS a Violent Wave across the room and tells me to clean it up! And to top it all off, he's been flung out of tall buildings and had similar near-death experiences so often that's it's led to total impotence, which, naturally, has RUINED our sex life!"  
  
Mrs. Howard took a deep breath, then looked downcast. "And then there's our son, Rock. He-"  
  
"Excuse me Mrs. Howard," Clara's nasally voice interrupted, "but I must remind you that we only have half an hour, so why don't we give someone else a turn to whine-I mean, speak, okay?" The woman in question blinked as attention shifted to the next woman in line.  
  
  
  
"Mrs. Yamazaki, why don't you go next?"  
  
The next woman glanced around nervously, then folded her hands in her lap. "Yes, well... my husband is Ryuji Yamazaki, and he's, uh... a hitman, more or less. He'll, uh... frequently do certain "tasks" for money, and that's more or less what he does for a living. Well, I met Ryuji more than 18 years ago, and, well, at first I thought our relationship was a dream. He was strong and wild, never let anybody push him around, and could smash in a window at 20 feet with his Hebi Tsukai. We got together, but now I know that he was just after me for my money, as my father was a very wealthy and influential man."  
  
She sighed and lolled her head back. "I was so naive then. All the signs were there: he was frequently borrowing money and never paying it back, expensive objects around the house constantly disappeared, he tore up the prenuptial agreement and threw my father out the window-he was the one who demanded Ryuji sign it-*sigh*...... soon we got married, and I was ecstatic when I found out I was pregnant. I thought he was too, except that the day after I told him, he said he was going out for groceries, and I haven't seen him since, and, well..." she trembled slightly, "I'm... beginning to suspect he's not coming back..."  
  
The other women stared at her. Clara sighed. "Have you considered seeing other men? The best thing for a failed relationship is to bounce back into a strong, healthy one."  
  
Mrs. Yamazaki gasped, horrified. "Me?! I'm a married woman! What would Hashiru think if his mother started cheating on his father?! How dare you even suggest it!?!"  
  
Clara gave her a half-lidded stare. "Riiiiiiight. Well, whatever you think is best."  
  
  
  
She turned to the next woman. "I think we have time for one more. Mrs. Kusanagi, your thoughts?"  
  
Yuki nodded, then looked down. "Well... I suppose I don't have any REAL problems. I mean, Kyo's okay to be around, and he's thoughtful, even if he's away an awful lot."  
  
Clara rested her chin in her palm. "But?"  
  
Yuki started fidgeting. "It's just... everyone thinks it's so great to be Kyo Kusanagi's wife, you know? He's pretty much the most powerful fighter out there... heck, that huge, shadowy, underground operation pretty much destroyed itself just trying to clone him! But nobody thinks of the downside. I mean, what with his huge fanbase, it's up to ME to fend off the other women......"  
  
Clara shook her head. "I get the feeling that this isn't the full extent of your problem. I want you to feel like you can tell us ANYTHING. We're your friends, and we're here to help you." The other women around Yuki nodded.  
  
She scratched the back of her head. "Well......."  
  
"Besides, you already paid, and we only have 5 minutes left." Clara added.  
  
Yuki relented. "You see, it's our sex life. Not that he's bad, but... sometimes Kyo has... 'accidents'."  
  
Clara nodded. "Good. Go on."  
  
"I mean, he insists that he'll handle it in time, with enough practice, but... well... you see, when Kyo reaches pre-orgasm, he tends to......... lose control."  
  
Clara raised an eyebrow.  
  
"We've already had to line the sheets and blankets with asbestos, and he insists he'll get it under control, but last month I had to go to the hospital due to 1st degree burns!" Yuki lowered her head and sighed deeply.  
  
  
  
Clara nodded. "Okay then. Well, we're out of time for now, but when we get together again next week, we'll introduce Mrs. Bernstein and Mrs. Bison. Mrs. Bernstein's husband Rugal, if you didn't already know, passed away a few years ago and she's currently having trouble with her son, and Mrs. Bison believes her husband has issues with megalomania. Goodnight, everyone."  
  
  
  
Meanwhile, outside...  
  
  
  
Two men were waiting in the parking lot outside the auditorium. The first one is dressed in a red military uniform, and is standing ramrod straight, arms crossed, in front of a black SUV with 'Shadowloo' painted on the side. The other is dressed in a pressed white Japanese shirt and wide- legged pants, and is sitting cross-legged on the hood of a BMW.  
  
"It's not that I really mind her going to these things," the man in the red continued, "if she wants to waste her time on this useless drivel, that's her business, but I don't see why I have to drive the carpool! And then she makes me wait outside, while back home my plans for my massive inter-continental missile launching facility are just lying on my desk, unfinished. The woman has no respect at all for my work!"  
  
The other man nodded, and took a burger out the bag marked 'McDonald's' in his lap. "I hear you, Bison. You give a woman a good home, a stable income, and then you take a couple of weeks off to crush your enemies, or perhaps sponsor a tournament with the underlying intent of world domination, and BAM! You get back home, and next thing you know, she's spending YOUR money so she can complain about you to other people." He stopped talking and shook his head disgustedly before taking a huge bite out of the cheeseburger.  
  
M. Bison inclined his head in agreement. "Indeed, Howard, indeed. Feh! I should have this whole association assassinated!"  
  
Geese chuckled as he swallowed. "Heh. Yeah, do us all a favor. French fry?"  
  
"Yes, thank you."  
  
  
  
Pointless omake? Or spooky, all-important foreshadowing?  
  
  
  
Now, the fic you've all been waiting for!  
  
  
  
Yagami 1/2  
  
A Ranma 0.5/King of Fighters Crossover  
  
by Black Dragon  
  
revcoll@peoplepc.com  
  
http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/fanficlair/index.html  
  
  
  
Ranma 1/2 is owned by the prosperous, well-known, and all-powerful Rumiko Takahashi. King of Fighters is owned by SNK. You cannot sue me, for I am like the wind. I have no source, and I have no destination. You cannot see me, and yet, I am everywhere. I have no form, yet if I push you, you'll...... feel a slight breeze. Well, enough of this.  
  
  
  
Chapter 2  
  
The Obligatory "Introduction to the Tendos" Chapter  
  
*************************************************************************** *******  
  
  
  
Ranma looked up into the sky, shielding her eyes from the rain as the downpour continued. However, she only cleared the soaked red hair from her vision to see the endless waves of stormclouds roiling overhead. Heaving a deep sigh, she lowered her head and quickened her pace to keep up with her father.  
  
Up until a few weeks ago, Iori would have looked at his son in concern at hearing such a depressed, hopeless noise, but after a more than a month of it, he had learned to tune it out. Ranma still hadn't learned to accept what he was, or what he had become.  
  
Ranma looked up slightly, and stared listlessly at the large white crescent moon adorning the elder Yagami's sodden jacket, occasionally hidden by the swaying of the giant backpack that Iori carried over one shoulder. As usual, her father was ignoring the elements, and would as soon walk in rain and slick mud as sunshine and baked dirt. Her father. Immovable. Unflappable. Invincible. Everything that she was not. And would never be, she knew now.  
  
Ranma resisted the urge to sigh again. Her father had been sympathetic to her plight at first, or at least as sympathetic as Iori ever got, but Ranma knew that recently he had been getting increasingly annoyed by her moping. She was feeling sorry for herself, he had said. And Iori was right. But she couldn't help it, and that just made her even more pathetic. More pitiful. But she wouldn't get pity, and she didn't want pity, however she acted.  
  
But she still couldn't buckle down and live with it, whatever her father said. Yet another failure to add to her recently expanded list.  
  
  
  
"Ranma, this way." Ranma didn't look up at her father's back, following the voice as easily as her sight would have allowed her, and never taking her eyes off the slick gravel before her feet. Her father said they were going to see an old friend of his, and had mentioned that he had some daughters. Not that she cared. One more stop was simply more time before they had to go home. Before she faced the shame of her mother's judgement.  
  
She might have cried, but she had no tears left. It was pointless now, anyway.  
  
"Shouldn't we get some hot water?" After the... incident... that had followed her curse, they had learned about the condition's temporary cure. Ranma had calmed down significantly since then, but the curse still marked an ugly stain on her life, a taint, though not nearly so great a taint as the other which she had discovered just a month ago......  
  
That she shared this other trait with her father hardly eased her shame. Iori was immovable, patient, and hard. She was simply not. She had lost control, and considering the consequences, that was a failure on par with losing her manhood. Or half of it, or whatever.  
  
Iori looked back at his son-turned-daughter momentarily. "It wouldn't do you any good in this rain. You can change back when we get there. There's no point in hiding it, anyway." He turned back to the streets, hands in his pockets, seemingly ignorant of the pounding downpour.  
  
Ranma nodded her acceptance, and swallowed another sigh. She never thought she'd truly get over her curse-either of them-but she could at least stop whining about it. She owed her father THAT much.  
  
A passing car hit a puddle and sent a wave of water over them, but they paid no mind. Their clothes already held as much water as they could soak up; the skin underneath was already as frigid as the water that hammered it.  
  
  
  
At last Iori stopped and looked up at the large wooden double-doors, his sodden red hair sticking to the sides of his head. Ranma looked up as well, and pushed back her own fiery locks out of her eyes.  
  
[Tendo Training Hall. Challengers please enter through the back.]  
  
Ranma looked at her father, her large black jacket overwhelming her small frame. Iori nodded, and opened the door, pushing aside the 40-pound wooden gates as easily as if they had been made of plywood and paper.  
  
Ranma followed her father up the rock walkway, several of the stepping stones just submerged below murky water.  
  
They stopped under the porch, relieved of the battering rain for the first moment in 7 hours.  
  
Iori sighed, partially with regret, partially with resignation, and knocked.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Soun Tendo, for a wonder, did not go into half-hysterical waterworks as he read the postcard before him. It was a cheap picture of a panda eating bamboo on the front, and on the back was an ambiguous message written with a straight, simple hand.  
  
[Bringing Ranma from China. There are complications. I'll explain when we get there. Iori Yagami.]  
  
Soun stared at it, considering. Iori Yagami. The only man who he and Genma had ever feared as much as the Master. Coming here. On one hand, that in itself was a reason to cry. But on the other hand, Iori had brought his son, who was to marry one of his daughters and carry on the Anything-Goes School of Martial Arts. Which was the only union of the schools that was going to happen, as Genma's love life had taken a severe downwards turn, and he looked to spend the rest of his life hauling crates in Tokyo Bay. That too (Ranma's arrival, not Genma's fate), was a reason to cry. The conflict was that one brought brought tears of terror, and the other weepings of joy. Resolving the conflict within his head, Soun nodded, and suddenly a torrent of sobs broke, while his face remained the picture of neutrality.  
  
Nabiki strode into the room, confused to find tears streaming down her father's stoic face.  
  
"What's up Daddy? Something wrong?"  
  
Soun turned in surprise, and his expression broke into a smile. "Ah, Nabiki. Just who I wanted to see. Could you bring your sisters in here please? I have an announcement to make."  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
"AN ENGAGEMENT?!?!" Akane Tendo stood up in a fury, glaring daggers at her father. "What do you mean, 'engagement'?!"  
  
Soun Tendo took the shouting in stride. "An old friend of mine will be stopping by soon. We, uh... trained together, a little bit. If one of you were to marry his son, Ranma, then the Tendo and Yagami schools would be joined. It was a decision made right before you were born, Akane."  
  
This didn't help her temper one little bit. "How could you do this? Don't we get any say in who we marry?!"  
  
Nabiki sighed. "Arranged marriages are SO old-fashioned. Oh well. Is he cute, at least?"  
  
Kasumi put a hand to her cheek. "Oh my. I hope he's not younger than me. Younger men are so... young."  
  
Akane sat back down and fumed. "I'll bet he's a pervert. All boys are perverts!"  
  
Nabiki looked up at her father. "Hey, what kind of guy IS this Ranma?"  
  
Soun smiled at them, though it was betrayed by the sweatdrop that crawled down his head. "I have no idea."  
  
"You..." Akane started.  
  
"Have no..." Nabiki stared incredulously.  
  
"Idea?" Kasumi finished, and then followed up with an, "Oh my."  
  
Soun's sweatdrop grew. "I've never met him." Uh-oh. Akane didn't look happy about that response.  
  
*Toonk* *Toonk* *Toonk* Everybody's thoughts froze at the knock.  
  
Nabiki shot up. "Ooh! It must be Ranma!"  
  
Soun was all too glad to grasp the excuse to leave the table. "Ah! Yes, Yagami must've arrived!"  
  
Kasumi followed them worriedly, leaving Akane alone at the table to fume. "Oh dear. I hope he's not younger than me."  
  
  
  
Soun outpaced his daughter, and quickly opened the door. And thus was greeted to a sight he really wouldn't mind never witnessing again. Iori Yagami stood in all his cold, deadly glory, dripping wet, hands jammed in his pockets, and a soaked fan of red hair shielding his eyes. For which Soun was all the more grateful. A badly timed bolt of lightning flashed in the distance behind the elder Yagami, making the scene all the more frightening for the poor man.  
  
Despite his hair sticking straight out of his head from sheer terror, Soun still managed to resist his instinctual urge to get on his knees and beg for mercy, instead spreading his arms as if for a hug. "Yagami! Old friend!" Soun didn't budge an inch further; he wasn't sure he could have, had he actually intended to embrace the man.  
  
Iori nodded. "Tendo. It's been a long time."  
  
Nabiki gave an internal shiver at the sight, and then walled off her initial uneasiness. Looking at him without thinking about all the 'dangerous' warnings he was giving off, Nabiki was pleased to see that he was actually very attractive. This obviously wasn't Ranma, though, as the redhead had to be just a few years younger than her own father. Catching another flash of red, she noticed the large brown backpack she could see behind the edges of Iori's large frame, and a red pigtail sticking out, the hue exactly the same as the man before her.  
  
Iori and Soun stood there a few more moments, neither saying a word or budging a centimeter. Nabiki was about to make a cutting, witty remark, when Kasumi reached the doorway. "Oh my! You're soaking wet! Please, come in!"  
  
Iori nodded. "Thank you. Come on Ranma." They both shrugged of their backpacks, and Iori stepped inside, his shoes making soft, squishy noises as water was forced out of them.  
  
Nabiki got her first look at Ranma. "Ooh, he IS cute!" The features around the face seemed a tad feminine, but still very attractive. The only thing she found odd was how much slighter Ranma's body was when compared to Iori's.  
  
Her view was soon blocked, however, when Soun Tendo weaved around his old 'friend' and zeroed in on his future son-in-law. "You must be Ranma!" *Glomp*  
  
Nabiki made a slightly disgusted noise as streams of water came pouring off the shorter redhead, due to the sheer amount of pressure forcing the moisture out of Ranma's soggy jacket. She shot a glance at Iori, and saw the older man staring expressionlessly at her father, still dripping wet. Like he was waiting for something...  
  
Suddenly, Soun backed out of the hug, and held Ranma at arm's length. Then he simply popped open the heavy jacket, revealing another soaked garment that clung very well to two obvious protrusions.  
  
Nabiki walked up to Ranma, and frowned before turning toward her father.  
  
"'He' is a girl." She deadpanned.  
  
*Thud* the Tendo patriarch was out like a light.  
  
Iori shook his head. Still the spineless, unstable fool he'd always been. Actually, Soun seemed a little worse than he remembered.  
  
Ranma stood staring at the fallen man, her face as blank as her father's.  
  
Kasumi, at least, was a stable island in the midst of disaster, for which everyone was thankful. "Oh dear, father fainted. We should get him into the living room."  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Soun awakened to see Iori's cold eyes staring down into his, and immediately wished he were unconsciouss again. Then the last few minutes came back to him, and he still wished he was unconscious, but at least had something to say now that he was awake.  
  
"Yagami! You said you had a SON!"  
  
The redhead leaned back, lines of water still running down his clothes. "It's a long story."  
  
Kasumi shook her head. "Poor father. He's so disappointed."  
  
Nabiki shot her a look. "You think HE'S disappointed! Some fiancee this is!!" She squeezed Ranma's ample breast for emphasis.  
  
Ranma might've told her to knock it off, but one word had caught his attention. "What? Fiancee?"  
  
Iori slowly turned to look at her. "Not quite. I'll take care of it." Ranma nodded dubiously, and then winced as Nabiki gave her bosom another squeeze.  
  
"Nabiki! Stop that! She's our guest!" The girl with the long black hair wearing a gi stepped up next to Ranma as the middle daughter rolled her eyes.  
  
Ranma blinked as the girl smiled at her. "I'm Akane. Do you want to be friends?"  
  
Ranma could only stare. Friends? She was offering to be her friend? Nobody had offered her friendship of any kind since the Amazone village. Strange. It was only a month ago, and yet it seemed ages since she had...  
  
'No,' Ranma thought, 'it's over and done with, and I've left it all behind. Maybe... maybe it's time for a new start.'  
  
"Sure." Ranma looked up at her and smiled slightly.  
  
"Come on! I'll show you the dojo!" The redhead nodded and followed.  
  
Nabiki turned back to her father as the Tendo patriarch's crying fit started winding down.  
  
"But Yagami! What is this? I'm positive you said Ranma was a boy!"  
  
Iori stood up slowly. "I'll explain everything. Come on."  
  
The taller man started walking out of the living room, still dripping trails of water. Soun looked after him tearfully for a moment, then gathered his meager fragments of courage and followed.  
  
Kasumi put a hand to her mouth in worry. "Oh dear. I wonder if I should get Mr. Yagami a towel. He must be very cold."  
  
Nabiki shook her head and took a cracker from a small jar on the table. "I swear, it's creepy. The guy's dripping wet and he acts like he doesn't even notice. I wish I knew what was going on, though."  
  
Kasumi could only sigh at that. She should probably get the bath ready; Ranma, at least, wasn't ignorant of the cold, and she could use a hot soak.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
"You study kempo, right?" Akane led Ranma into the center of the dojo, and then turned around.  
  
Ranma shrugged as she looked around, causing the collar of her large jacket to engulfe her head for a moment. "Eh, a little."  
  
Akane smiled. "Wanna spar?"  
  
Ranma looked at her for a moment, then shook her head. "Sure, I guess."  
  
Akane took a stance, and waited. And Ranma stood there, hands in her pockets, and waited back.  
  
Akane got tired of this rather quickly. "Well? Come on!"  
  
Ranma blinked. "You want me to attack first?"  
  
Akane shook her head. "You're not even ready! You're not in a stance or anything! At least take off your jacket!"  
  
Ranma seemed surprised at the statement, and took one hand out to pull it a little closer around herself. "Nah. If it's all right with you, I'll just leave it on."  
  
Akane stared for a moment, then sighed. How had this girl been training for so long without learning the basics? "All right, but don't say I didn't warn you!"  
  
She decided to start out easy, with a simple light haymaker.  
  
Ranma didn't even move as the fist closed with her face.  
  
*Pap*  
  
Until the very last moment, when her hand that was holding the jacket whipped out and caught Akane's attack easily, flat in the palm.  
  
Akane was surprised at the lazy defense, but gave a mental shrug and increased her efforts.  
  
Punch after punch flew toward the sodden redhead, but she barely gave any attention to the fight as her hands blocked each strike effortlessly.  
  
Akane gave a slight growl. This girl was playing with her! "All right, now it's for real!"  
  
Akane feigned a right hook, then spun and lashed out with a roundhouse, putting her full strength into the attack.  
  
Ranma ignored the obvious feint, and backhanded the incoming kick, negating all the force behind it, and knocking Akane completely off- balance. She fell to the floor with a loud thumping noise.  
  
Groaning in pain and no little amount of humiliation, Akane tried to get up, only to feel some pressure on her back. Twisting her neck, she could see Ranma holding her down with a booted foot on her back.  
  
Ranma smiled, if ever so slightly. "Does this mean I win?"  
  
Akane struggled for a moment, then laughed a little bit. "Yeah. You're really good!" Ranma helped her up, and Akane turned away slightly. "You know, I'm really glad you're a girl."  
  
THAT got Ranma's attention. "Huh?"  
  
Akane smiled at her. "I'd really hate to lose to a guy!" With that, the youngest Tendo girl walked out of the dojo.  
  
Ranma stood in the center of the room, staring after her.  
  
"Well, THAT isn't good," she concluded, then left herself  
  
  
  
As she entered the hallway, the older girl with long brown hair tied in a ponytail halfway down her back appeared before her, and handed Ranma a short stack of towels.  
  
"I thought you might like a bath. You're soaking wet." The older girl smiled broadly at her, and seemed to radiate a sweet warmth that Akane had sorely lacked.  
  
Ranma smiled with genuine warmth. "Thanks."  
  
This was nice, really. He hadn't been treated as anything more than a wanderer or prisoner since......  
  
Ranma shook his head to clear it, and headed towards the bath.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Nabiki peeked into her father's room for a moment, curious as to the meeting between the strange man and her father. Her eavesdropping was short-lived, however, as Iori turned to face her as soon as she had a good look.  
  
Offering an embarrassed shrug, she walked away from the room. She could still hear her father sobbing; wailing about the 'perils of a martial artist'.  
  
She almost bumped into her little sister in the hall.  
  
"Geez sis, what happened to you?" She didn't look bad, but her face looked like it had hit something flat, and she had a very conspicuous boot print on the back of her gi.  
  
Akane laughed nervously. "Oh, just a little bit of practice."  
  
Nabiki nodded absently. "I saw Kasumi filling up the bath earlier. You should go take one."  
  
Akane nodded to her older sister, and descended the stairs.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Ranma finished his long soak, and slowly got up out of the furo.  
  
Then he stopped, and raised a hand in front of his eyes.  
  
"Do I really want to go out like this?" He frowned. "Well, they will find out eventually, but still..."  
  
Akane's words echoed in his head. 'I'd really hate to lose to a guy!' He winced, then stood up fully in the water.  
  
*Creak* Ranma's head spun toward the bathroom door, and his eyes widened as a sweatdrop rolled down his head.  
  
Akane stared back at him, frozen like a deer in the headlights, a towel her only shield against her nudity.  
  
Very slowly, she straightened, and then turned around and walked out, calmly shutting the door behind her.  
  
Ranma blinked, and stepped out of the tub. Then he stared at the bathroom door and scratched the back of his head. "Huh. Well, that could have gone worse."  
  
It was about then that he was knocked to the floor by an ear-piercing scream.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"  
  
Nabiki and Kasumi started in surprise, then turned around as Akane sped down the stairs and picked up the dining room table.  
  
"I'll kill him! That's what I'll do! I'll smash him with this!"  
  
Nabiki blinked. "Something wrong Akane?"  
  
The youngest Tendo whipped around to look at her sister. "There's a pervert in the bathroom!"  
  
Nabiki blinked again, and motioned for Akane to put the table back down. Her snacks were still on it, after all. "Why didn't you just kill him with your bare hands?"  
  
"Because I got scared!"  
  
"Uh... 'scuse me..."  
  
Nabiki, Kasumi, and Akane all turned around at the voice, and beheld a young man with raven black hair wearing the same gray slacks, boots, and black jacket that they had seen on the girl earlier. Iori and Soun walked into the room, and former nodded upon seeing Ranma's state.  
  
Feeling slightly uncomfortable being the center of attention, Ranma scratched the back of his head nervously. "Um... I'm Ranma Yagami. Sorry about all this."  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
"-And so after he got out, he was a girl. The curse works with water. Cold water changes him into a girl, and hot water changes him back." Iori sipped his tea, seemingly oblivious to all the disbelieving stares he was getting from the three girls.  
  
Ranma sighed. Iori had left out any kind of reference to the...... incident that had followed his dip in the spring. Which was for the best, but it just meant one more thing he had to hide.  
  
Soun choked back a sob. "The legendary training grounds of Jusenkyou. Until now, its horrors have been shrouded in mystery!" Soun clapped a hand on Iori's shoulder. "My friend, you have truly suffered great tragedy!" Iori shot him a half-lidded stare, and Soun's hand jerked back.  
  
The dark haired man chuckled, and then turned to Ranma. "Well now, your problem's not so bad!"  
  
He gestured to the girl with long brown hair. "This is Kasumi. She's 19."  
  
Next came the girl with short brown hair. "This is Nabiki, she's 17."  
  
Ranma gulped as Soun turned him towards the youngest, who was glaring at him hatefully. "And you've, uh, already met Akane. She's 16. Pick any one of them and she'll be your fiancee!" Soun smiled and stepped back.  
  
Ranma stared at the three girls who seemed momentarily frozen at the declaration. Well, except Akane, who clenched her fist around the edge of the table and deepened her scowl. "Uh... if you wouldn't mind... could somebody tell me what's going on here?"  
  
Iori scowled, which was the most expression he had shown since he had stepped in the house. "Tendo, I told you, we aren't just going to-"  
  
He was interrupted, oddly enough, by Kasumi's sweetly nervous voice as the oldest girl scrambled behind her youngest sister. "Oh! He wants Akane!"  
  
Before Akane could organize a reaction, Nabiki patted her on the shoulder. "Oh, definitely!"  
  
Akane drew back away from Ranma. "Me?! Why me?!"  
  
Nabiki smiled. "Well, you hate boys, right?"  
  
Kasumi's own smile somehow lacked the warmth it usually held. "Well, you're in luck! He's half girl!"  
  
Ranma's left eye started twitching. Iori started to say something, but was again cut off.  
  
Akane whirled her head as she tossed glares between her sisters for their betrayal. "Me?! Marry that pervert?! You've got to be kidding!!"  
  
Ranma had had enough. "Excuse me? Pervert?!"  
  
Akane turned on him, thankful to have a new target for her unfortunate circumstances. "Yes! You looked at my body, pervert!"  
  
Ranma growled. "Hey! YOU walked in on ME, dimwit!"  
  
Akane growled right back. "It's different when a girl sees a boy!"  
  
Ranma straightened and crossed his arms across his chest. "So that makes ME responsible for YOUR intrusion?"  
  
Akane's mouth opened, but nothing came out.  
  
Ranma smirked. "Yeah, that's what I thought." He watched as she started trembling slightly in fury, and turned away. "Besides, you got nothing to worry about. If you don't want to marry me, then believe me, I 'aint gonna force you."  
  
Soun blinked, then started forward. "Now listen here son, you must marry one of my daughters! The schools-"  
  
"TENDO!!!" Soun paled at Iori's growl, and he nearly melted in terror when he turned and saw the redhead glaring at him.  
  
Akane wasn't about to let Ranma off that easily though. "Well you're still a pervert! And if we're not good enough for you, then just leave!" She stood up and glared at the pigtailed boy, who simply offered her a cool stare in return.  
  
"Don't worry, I'll leave. I don't know what you're so worked up about though. It's not like you've got anything worth looking at." Smirking, Ranma started to walk out of the room.  
  
His progress was quickly impeded by a large, heavy table colliding with his head.  
  
*Smash!!*  
  
Akane stood up and dusted off her hands as the rest of the family sweatdropped. "Stupid jerk!"  
  
Then she blinked as the table shook slightly. There was the sharp sound of wood splintering, and the table began to rise.  
  
Ranma stood straight up, his right hand holding the wooden furniture above his head. His fingers gouged into the wood to hold it up, and he snarled at Akane. "What was that for, you little brat?!"  
  
Akane's surprise was drowned in anger. "BRAT?! Who're you calling a brat, you sex-changing freak?!"  
  
Ranma flinched as if struck. Nabiki blinked, then looked over to see that Iori's eyes had widened at the remark. Considering the level of expression that guy usually showed...  
  
"Uh, Akane?"  
  
The youngest Tendo wasn't about to let up, however, now that she had struck a nerve. "Who'd want to marry a perverted half-man like you anyway? Who'd need to? You're a couple all by yourself!"  
  
Nabiki noted with increasing alarm that Ranma's fingers were digging deeper into the table with every word, and that his form had started trembling. Kasumi and Soun had noticed as well, and started to inch away.  
  
Akane remained oblivious to all of this, and smirked a little as Ranma lowered his head slightly so that his hair hid his eyes from view. Then she noticed the way the table was shaking in the air.  
  
Ranma suddenly looked up, and his eyes burned into her with such fury that Akane involuntarily took a step back.  
  
*THWOOM!* Purple flames suddenly engulfed the table that was still held in the air, and all three Tendo girls recoiled in fright as the violet firestorm grew smaller, spraying hot ash onto the floor at Ranma's feet. Soun showed no expression on his face, but his hair was sticking straight out again, betraying his shock. Iori merely looked... ready.  
  
Ranma's eyes were locked on Akane as the flames retreated to his clenched fist. After a few moments he closed his eyes, then turned to look at the hand that had recently held the piece of furniture. The purple fire blazed about his fist, but he felt no warmth from it. With a mere act of will it was extinguished, and he opened his hand, letting the remaining black ash float to the hardwood floor below.  
  
Shrugging his hands into his pockets, he turned his head to direct an icy look at Akane, who had adopted a defensive martial arts stance that was ruined only by the way she radiated terror and panic like a frightened squirrel.  
  
He turned his head slightly to the side. "You're right. Nobody would want to marry me. Sorry about the table, by the way. Pop? Let's go." He turned and started to walk away, and Akane fell down.  
  
Soun shook himself out of his trance. "Now wait a minute son, what about your fian-"  
  
Soun stopped with a gulp at Iori's glare, and the redhead turned toward his son, who was looking at him expectantly.  
  
"Ranma, we're staying here for now. Get your pack and start unloading. Which room was it Tendo?"  
  
Everyone blinked, and Ranma gaped. "Wha? Bu-But... we..."  
  
Kasumi put a hand to her mouth, and then stood up, the earlier incident already forgotten. "Oh my! Come with me, you can stay in the guest room." Humming to herself, Kasumi led a confused Ranma upstairs by the arm, even as Nabiki and Akane backed away to give him space to pass.  
  
Soun nodded happily, then turned to Iori. "So Yagami, the schools WILL be joined!" Then he blinked as Iori stared at him stonily.  
  
"Tendo... we need to talk..." Soun gulped.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Ranma watched impassively as Kasumi unfolded the futons and laid them out on the ground, then turned back to his backpack, taking out the few spare sets of clothing he owned. All were as soaked from the rain as his backpack, and fell into a soggy pile that spread water across the floor.  
  
Kasumi looked up from her work, and blinked as Ranma took out a book carefully wrapped in plastic, and therefore the only thing dry that had entered the house. Ranma stared at it for a bit, then gently set it on top of the nightstand in the corner of the room. Kasumi cocked her head curiously, and craned her neck to get a better look. The title was composed of Chinese characters, but a little paper strip taped to the front of the cover labeled it in Japanese as a training manual. Ranma looked at it fondly, then turned back to his soggy clothes.  
  
"Well I don't CARE what Dad says! He's a pervert and a violent maniac!" Akane's voice carried into the room easily, and Ranma's face hardened.  
  
"In all fairness Akane, YOU'RE the one that hit him with a table." Nabiki's calmer voice wasn't as easy to pick up, but was heard nonetheless before both sisters passed by the room.  
  
Kasumi turned to Ranma worriedly, but he simply shook his head as he wrung his clothes out over a bucket.  
  
"Your sister's a real piece of work, huh?"  
  
Kasumi smiled apologetically. "Akane's really a sweet girl. She's just a violent maniac."  
  
Ranma chuckled darkly. "Like me, huh?"  
  
Kasumi's smile slowly faded. "Well... I don't really think-"  
  
Ranma waved it off. "Don't worry about it. She's right, anyway. I'm not fit to marry anybody."  
  
Kasumi gave him a concerned look. "Why do you think that? Your curse isn't that bad."  
  
Ranma smiled at her ruefully. "So you really were shoving your sister at me 'cause you thought we made the best couple?"  
  
Kasumi blinked in surprise, then lowered her head a bit, ashamedly. "I'm sorry. It really wasn't right to do that..."  
  
Ranma shook his head. "Don't worry about it. Like I said, no girl deserves to get stuck with me. And it's not 'cause of this curse either. I have more than that to worry about."  
  
"Like what?" Kasumi's head whipped around to see Nabiki leaning against the doorway, hands behind her head. How long had she been eavesdropping?  
  
Ranma didn't even look at her, and continued as if she had been part of the conversation all along. "I can't tell ya that. Let's just say that I'm not safe to be around. And not 'cause of this." Ranma raised a hand, and a purple pyre ignited and blazed above his palm. Ranma expected them to flinch back, but Kasumi merely took it in stride and started laying out sheets, while Nabiki looked more interested than anything else.  
  
Nabiki smirked at Ranma's surprised look as she kneeled down in front of him. "Don't look so shocked. Not much can faze me more than once." She adjusted her gaze toward the fire, and slowly reached out a hand toward it.  
  
"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Nabiki blinked, then slowly drew her hand away. Ranma looked up at her. "It may look weird, but believe me when I say it's every bit as dangerous as real fire." He suddenly smirked. "Actually, people tell me it hurts a lot more than the real stuff."  
  
Nabiki looked a tad uneasy at that, but quickly shook it off. "So come on, spill it. What is that anyway?"  
  
Ranma chuckled. "It... is the Yagami's clan greatest legacy. And greatest shame. It's our best gift, and our worst curse. Our power, and our ultimate demise." Kasumi took her attention away from the futons, startled by the blunt seriousness in the pigtailed boy's voice. She stared at the purple flame, frowning.  
  
Nabiki just glared at him. "Well, thanks for not being vague or contradictory or anything."  
  
Ranma sighed. "It's more or less a family secret. I can tell you this, pretty much everyone on my dad's side of the family could use this power, and for some reason it caused most of them to die really young, like in their 20's. Apparently that's not really a concern anymore, but..." Ranma trailed off, then shook his head and dug into his pack, extinguishing the dark fire.  
  
Nabiki's curiosity was peaked, however. "But what?"  
  
"But nothing." Ranma muttered. "I don't mean to be rude, but it's personal, all right?"  
  
Nabiki frowned and was about to say more, when Kasumi stood up and faced her.  
  
"Now Nabiki, it would be rude to pry. Now let's give Ranma some privacy."  
  
Nabiki tried to protest, but Kasumi being Kasumi, she was out of the guest room before she knew it.  
  
Nabiki walked the short distance to her room, then turned around to stare thoughtfully at the door.  
  
"I don't like mysteries, Yagami," she muttered quietly to herself, "and this one has caught my interest. It's only a matter of time."  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
"But the schools MUST be joined!" Soun insisted, tears streaming down his face.  
  
Iori stared at him impassively. "Why?"  
  
Soun blinked at that, and for a few moments the deluge stopped while he tried to think.  
  
"They just have to be! The school must have an heir! For the future of Anything-Goes and this dojo!"  
  
Iori shrugged. One thing was for sure, if Ranma did inherit this dojo, he'd probably run it better than Soun ever did. "Look, I'm not gonna make the kid marry anyone, especially not the brat in the gi."  
  
Soun's eyes blazed, and suddenly his crybaby demeanor dried up. "How dare you say such things about my daughter?!"  
  
'So the weenie has some spine. Well then.' Iori's expression didn't change, and he took a sip of tea. "Whatever. I'm sure she's really a nice girl and it's just that time of the month or something, but she and Ranma didn't exactly hit it off, and there's no way I'm going to engage them." Soun's newfound backbone dissolved, and the long-haired man slumped down before the ashes of what used to be the dining room table.  
  
"Well then, maybe Nabiki? Or Kasumi? Kasumi would do it, I'm sure!"  
  
Iori stared at him. "You'd really force your daughters to marry some guy they don't even know?"  
  
Soun stared back, and then huffed defensively, but didn't say anything.  
  
The redhead took another sip of tea. "Anyway, we'll stick around, and see what develops."  
  
Soun nodded forlornly, and settled his cup in the white ash before crossing his arms in contemplation.  
  
Iori got up and walked upstairs. He had his own reasons for staying here though. Reasons that he couldn't possibly reveal to anyone else. 'If I go back home and Nodoka sees that Ranma doesn't have a girlfriend, I'm done for.'  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
"School, huh? Already?" Ranma looked down at the backpack in front of him, nonplussed.  
  
Iori nodded. "Yeah. We might be staying here for a little while, and Furinkan High is close enough to our place that you can finish your sophomore year there." Iori's voice remained mechanic and neutral, as usual.  
  
Ranma immediately perked up. "So after school can we go see Mom again? Man, it's been a while. And Yurumi's 9 years old now, huh?"  
  
Iori looked away. "Not yet. Soon though. I just have to take care of some stuff first." For all his tone of voice betrayed, he could be talking about going to the park instead of seeing his wife for the first time in over a year. Nearby, Nabiki raised an eyebrow and started to pay more attention.  
  
Ranma knew better than to question his father, however. He sighed deeply. "All right. Will it be long, though?"  
  
Iori shrugged and resumed eating, not bothering to respond.  
  
Nabiki took all this in, then set down her chopsticks and picked up her bookbag. "Well, I'm leaving now."  
  
Akane stood up. "Wait! I'll go with you!"  
  
Nabiki turned back to her younger sister. "Ranma needs someone to show him to school."  
  
Akane speared Ranma with a quick glare that he ignored. "Why should I have to take him?!"  
  
Nabiki smirked. "Because he's YOUR fiancee."  
  
"We're not engaged!" Akane snapped.  
  
"Ditto." Ranma said calmly.  
  
Akane glared at him again. Nabiki rolled her eyes. "Fine, fine. In that case, it's because I'm leaving now, and Ranma's not ready yet. Bye!" she skipped out the door, leaving Akane fuming next to Ranma.  
  
After a bit more fuming, she turned to her unwanted companion. "Aren't you ready to go yet?!"  
  
Ranma looked at her cooly, then stood up and buttoned up his jacket. "Ready when you are."  
  
  
  
Growling about the idiocy and uselessness of males in general, Akane walked down the sidewalk, swinging her bookbag in front of her in carefully measured arcs.  
  
Eventually she looked behind her to make sure the jerk was keeping up with her, only to find that he was, while walking atop the fence next to the canal.  
  
"What do you think you're doing up there?"  
  
Ranma looked down at her unconcernedly. "It's balance practice."  
  
Akane stared for a moment, then shook her head. "Stupid show-off."  
  
Ranma looked down at her again, slightly annoyed. "What's your problem anyway? We're not engaged or nothing, so just lay off!"  
  
Akane rounded on him. "My PROBLEM is having to put up with a perverted, stupid pyro like you!"  
  
Ranma glared down at her evenly. "Haven't we already been through this? I 'aint no pervert!"  
  
"You turn into a girl!"  
  
"What does my curse have to do with anything?!"  
  
"It's perverted, you pervert!"  
  
Ranma stared at her. "Oh, well that explains everything," he retorted dryly.  
  
Akane started to glow slightly, and Ranma blinked. Then her foot lashed out, and Ranma was forced to somersault away as the fence teetered and fell into the drainage ditch behind it.  
  
Ranma landed in a nearby yard, then turned to face his assailant. "You know, when you get angry like that you lose your focus. That might be why you're such a poor fighter."  
  
Akane glared at him some more and raised her bookbag above her head as if to strike him with it, but it was about then that a system of automatic sprinklers activated.  
  
Akane's anger quickly transformed into amusement, and then she laughed outright as a redheaded, female Ranma glared at her.  
  
Ranma calmed herself, then adjusted her jacket slightly before a sparkle of purple lit in her palm. A quick swing of her arm, and the offending sprinkler head was reduced to a small, blackened crater bubbling with molten plastic.  
  
Akane stumbled backward in surprise, then chuckled some more at Ranma's pettiness.  
  
Ranma simply shrugged her hands in her pockets. "Laugh it up, tomboy." He shot her a look.  
  
Akane stopped laughing, then, after a moment of uncertainty, dropped into a stance. "Was that a threat?"  
  
Ranma smirked. "A threat? No. You see, I never make threats that I'm not willing to carry out, and I don't like fighting weaklings. Especially not girls."  
  
Akane's aura flared. "Who's a weakling?! Just try me for real some time!!"  
  
Ranma snorted. "Don't make me laugh. If I ever fought you seriously, you wouldn't know what hit you. You're not bad, to tell ya the truth, but arrogance could get you hurt." Ranma spat out the comment bitterly as she continued walking.  
  
Akane sputtered indignantly, then settled on the most obvious response to Ranma's jibes. With a cry of female fury, she brought her bookbag down onto Ranma's head.  
  
*Crack* The hardened leather casing split with the force of the impact, and all the papers and textbooks within it spilled out down Ranma's body, settling onto the concrete walk below.  
  
Ranma stood shock-still a moment, then twisted her head around and gave her attacker a flat look. "Ouch." She deadpanned, then continued walking.  
  
Akane stared at her broken bag incredulously. "Hey! Get back here and help me pick this up!"  
  
"Buzz off!" Ranma yelled back.  
  
"OOH!! That stupid jerk!" Akane yelled to herself in frustration, then grabbed up her papers and books in a messy pile that she hugged to her chest, and then ran to catch up to Ranma.  
  
"I can't believe you did that! That was inexcusable! How can you be such a creep?!"  
  
Ranma rolled her eyes as Akane continued, then finally turned around. "Fine! Here, you can stuff your papers in my backpack. Just stop whining, okay?" Ranma whipped the pack off her shoulders, then held it before Akane.  
  
Akane stared for a moment, and then her face darkened. Suddenly her foot lashed out to kick the pack away, and presumably into the canal opposite the road. Ranma simply lifted the bag out of the way, however, and Akane followed through with her kick only to lose her balance and fall on her rear, loose papers gently swaying in the wind before settling down onto the dirty sidewalk.  
  
Ranma shook her head. "Now THAT I saw coming from a mile away." Shrugging the backpack onto one shoulder, Ranma calmly walked away from the scene, leaving Akane to seethe quietly as she tried to gather up her scattered schoolwork.  
  
  
  
It wasn't until Ranma had almost passed by some kind of private medical clinic that Akane spoke to her again.  
  
"Stay there. I have to go inside." Akane didn't look at Ranma as she entered the office, papers still clutched to her chest. She had to get something to put her supplies in, otherwise she would never be able to win the normal morning battle. She thought about getting Ranma some hot water too, but quickly discarded the idea. If Ranma was going to be so cruel to her, let him be a girl! It suited him anyway!  
  
Ranma had other ideas though, and took out a small metal cup from within her jacket. She scooped up some water from a small pond, and then placed her hand underneath the cup, palm up.  
  
It was about then that something touched her shoulder.  
  
*Pow!* Ranma's left hand swung back in a lightning-fast arc, and she felt her hand break through something hard as the momentum turned the rest of her body around to face her assailant.  
  
Ranma blinked when she beheld a man staring at her wide-eyed from behind a now headless skeleton.  
  
The skull spun a few times as it jumped into the air, and then fell to the restraints of gravitiy, plummeting back down to land in the hand that had severed it.  
  
The man holding the skeleton backed up in alarm before calming himself and chuckling.  
  
"Heh! Sorry if I startled you there! This is Betty, my skeleton!" He looked down at the bare neck vertebrae and blinked. "Er..."  
  
Ranma smiled and jammed the skull back onto the neck, then twisted it a few times until she was sure it wouldn't come off easily. "Sorry 'bout that. I was just surprised I didn't notice you."  
  
The man chuckled, and Ranma cocked her head slightly as she looked him over. He had light brown hair tied into a short ponytail in the back, and wore round, wire-frame glasses.  
  
The man bowed slightly. "I'm Dr. Tofu. And you are?"  
  
Ranma bowed back. "Ranma Yagami. Nice ta meetcha." Ranma turned back to her metal cup, which she had managed not to spill, as Akane walked out of the clinic, her papers stuffed haphazardly into a large cloth bag.  
  
"Oh Dr. Tofu!"  
  
The man smiled at Akane. "Hello Akane. No new injuries?"  
  
Akane blushed slightly and lowered her head. "Uh, no! I mean, I haven't been doing anything that would..." She shook her head, and glared at Ranma. "I just came here to get a bag after SOMEBODY broke mine." She looked at the metal cup Ranma held and frowned.  
  
Ranma blinked, then chuckled. "Yeah, it was combination effort of her arm and my skull." She said wryly. Akane's glare intensified, and Ranma smirked.  
  
Dr. Tofu looked back in forth between the two girls. "Ah, so you know each other?"  
  
Akane shot Ranma one last glare, which had no more effect than the last round. 'Arrogant creep.' "He's just staying with my family for a while."  
  
Dr. Tofu blinked. "He?"  
  
*Thwoom* A purple blaze soon tinted the cup a glowing red, and Tofu fingered his glasses as if to make sure they were still on.  
  
Ranma smirked and threw the water over her head. Dr. Tofu took a step back in surprise, and Ranma simply stared at him expressionlessly.  
  
The good doctor sweatdropped and turned to Akane. "Well, you certainly have some... interesting friends..."  
  
"That's a nice way of putting it." Akane deadpanned.  
  
Ranma simply readjusted his jacket, then jammed his hands into his pants pockets. "I can see the school from here, so I'll make it fine on my own. See ya." Ranma left immediately, hopping back onto the fence as soon as he got close enough.  
  
Akane was about to tell him to wait for her, when she suddenly remembered that she despised him and wanted to spend as little time in his company as possible.  
  
Turning away in a huff, she realized that she was alone with Dr. Tofu, who was staring at Ranma's back curiously. And at the white crescent moon that adorned it. "Ranma Yagami, huh? Interesting..."  
  
"Feh. Interesting! He's a violent freak! And a perverted jerk! I can't stand him!!" Akane stamped her foot on the ground, imagining Ranma's face staring up at her from beneath her foot.  
  
Dr. Tofu scratched his head. "If you say so. He seems all right to me..."  
  
Akane shook her head. "You don't have to live with him. *Sigh* I'm going to be late if I don't hurry. I'll see you later, okay? Thanks for the bag!"  
  
Dr. Tofu waved at the youngest Tendo girl as she ran off. "No problem Akane! Stop by again!"  
  
When he turned around, however, a frown marred his face.  
  
'Yagami... I know I've heard that name before...'  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Ranma looked at the scattered crowd of boys curiously, wondering if he had stumbled into school on the day of some kind of sports rally. Looking over the crowd from his position on the outer wall, he could see that the mass of various jocks were split into small groups based on what sport was practice. There were representatives from almost every physical activity he had ever heard of, from Sumo wrestling to track and field to Kendo, and there was even two or three guys wrapped up in winter clothing wielding ski poles.  
  
Ranma decided it didn't involve him, hopped down from the fence, and slowly weaved his way through the crowd.  
  
He had almost made it to the entrance of the building when a wordless battle cry erupted from behind him.  
  
  
  
Akane charged into the mass of lecherous boys swinging wildly, trying to break them up with her initial charge. Those that didn't back away were sent flying, and the others regrouped and started moving in on Akane one by one.  
  
Akane tossed her improvised bag to the side, and started dishing out her regular doses of punishment to the regular morning crew. Luckily, her opponents rarely converged on her in numbers larger than one at a time, unwilling to share their prize should they manage to win the crucial battle. Unfortunately for Akane, that still meant that another opponent was alway behind the last one.  
  
She made her way through the crowd, breaking through holds and tackles and throwing her challengers every which way.  
  
At last she had almost made her way across the front yard of the school, unconscious bodies marking her trail of destruction. She elbowed a charging tennis player in the gut and then backhanded him away before descending upon the next target in her immediate field of vision. Seeing that this one wasn't moving at her like the others, she threw her weight forward into a swift and strong left hook.  
  
*Pap*  
  
Her mind reeled as her attack was caught and a strong grip held her fist. It figured that these jerks would switch tactics eventually! Now they were playing defensive!  
  
Ignoring the sudden feeling of deja vu, she shifted her weight to put as much force as possible into her following right hook.  
  
*Pap*  
  
Which was caught just as easily. Feeling reasonably alarmed, she decided to throw conventional manuevers to the wind and brought her right leg up for a solid kick to the groin.  
  
Her target apparently didn't like where this was heading, as he released her hands and hopped up, only to land balancing on her outstretched leg.  
  
  
  
Leaning backward, with her leg still stretched into the air, she finally took a good look at her opponent and sweatdropped.  
  
Ranma looked back at her calmly, apparently at ease standing on her calf. "Overzealous, aren't we?" Then he pinched her nose and hopped off his perch.  
  
Akane yelled incoherently, and windmilled backwards as Ranma's weight was suddenly absent from her leg.  
  
Ranma shook his head sadly, walking away calmly even as he felt Akane focus her wrathful glare onto his back.  
  
"HOLD PEASANT!!!" Ranma blinked and stopped, then turned around to see a slightly older boy in a blue kendo shirt with large black pants pointing a bokken at him.  
  
Ranma looked left, then right. "Who, me?"  
  
Akane growled. "Who do you think he's talking about, genius?"  
  
Kuno eyed Ranma with a fair amount of contempt and irritation, as some people would look at a cockroach that had somehow survived an exterminator. "Who are you, and how is it that one such as you has defeated Akane Tendo in combat?! Be advised, cretin, that you now face the great Tatewaki Kuno, age 17, captain of the kendo club, and the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High!!"  
  
*Boom* *Crack* Lighting lanced down in the background, creating a marvelously dramatic effect.  
  
  
  
Peering out the window on the third story, Nabiki raised an eyebrow as Kuno started waving his wooden sword at her new houseguest. "Blue Thunder? That's a new one. Last I heard he was calling himself Shooting Star."  
  
One of the girls next to her frowned. "Did that guy actually beat Akane? I don't even recognize him!"  
  
"He didn't just beat Akane, but did you see how he did it? Not a single hit! He made it look easy!"  
  
"Wow! That guy might even be a match for Kuno!"  
  
"Does this mean that Akane has to date him?"  
  
"I hope not! Look at him! He's gorgeous!"  
  
Nabiki smiled slightly, and waved a hand to get the others to quiet down.  
  
  
  
Ranma stared at Kuno for a fair amount of time before shaking his head and taking off his backpack.  
  
"Who am I? Name's Ranma Yagami of the Yagami School of Indiscriminate Grappling." He tossed his backpack off to one side where it would be safe if the grass caught on fire. The Yagami branch of Anything-Goes Martial arts wasn't an official school, as it was a family style, and one that he had mostly put together himself, but he was proud of it nonetheless. "As for how I beat Tendo, she tends to think that she's so strong that her blows are unstoppable. Which, as I've just demonstrated, isn't quite true."  
  
Akane's aura flared to life, and she began searching the ground for a rock suitable for throwing.  
  
Ranma put a hand to his chin as if in thought. "On top of that, really, she's just too slow. Plus her kicks are way too clumsy, especially in a skirt, never mind that-" Ranma hopped backwards, and the wooden weapon slashed through where his chest had been. "Somethin' wrong?"  
  
"You dare mock the skills of the fierce and beauteous Akane Tendo?!" Kuno roared, his bokken at the ready.  
  
Ranma blinked. "Well, yeah, I guess." He craned his neck backwards suddenly, and a fist-sized rock passed half an inch from his nose.  
  
Kuno shifted his stance, bokken in a guard position. "Know this, fool! I challenge you! Here and now! If you lose, you shall forfeit your right to date with the fair Akane Tendo, and I shall date her in your stead!"  
  
"HEY!!!" Akane was ignored.  
  
Ranma blinked again, then made a face of utter confusion. "What are you talking about?"  
  
Kuno snorted and turned away, shaking his head. "Why I must always deal with such dull-witted buffoons? It seems to be my lot in life, hardly worthy of one so great as I."  
  
"And let's not forget so humble," Ranma added dryly.  
  
Kuno turned back towards Ranma. "Know this Yagami, you have defeated the fair and graceful Akane Tendo in combat-"  
  
"He didn't beat me! I wasn't ready!! I didn't even know who it was!!" Akane was, again, ignored.  
  
"-and by doing so, have thereby attained the grand and oft-sought privilege to date with the fierce tigeress Akane Tendo by mine own decree. However, I refuse to allow one so feeble as you to recieve this boon! Now prepare yourself, fool!"  
  
Ranma's head dropped forward, and his hair covered his eyes as his entire body started shaking. Slowly at first, but the trembling soon grew stronger.  
  
Akane's rage mostly evaporated into hazy fear as she recalled what happened the last time he started shaking like that. She gulped audibly, backing up into a tree. "Ranma! Wait!"  
  
But alas, Ranma could contain it no longer.  
  
  
  
"BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!! OH KAMI, I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!!! HA HA HAAAAA!!! *Gasp* *Gasp* You-heh heh heh-You actually think that I want to-*chuckle*-DATE that tomboy?! Hell, if this what all this is about, then forget about it! You can have her, man!" Ranma almost collapsed into hysterics again. It was just too funny. 'THAT'S what all these guys got beaten up for?! To try and date her? What a bunch of losers!'  
  
Needless to say, Akane's fear quickly dissipated back into a healthy, fiery aura of fury. That didn't improve her rocks' aim though.  
  
Kuno looked at Ranma in bewilderment as the pigtailed boy started twisting to avoid the Earthen projectiles. "So you do not seek to date Akane Tendo? You would surrender the honor to me, without conflict?"  
  
Ranma smiled and grabbed a stone out of the air before crushing it in his hand. "What, are you kidding me? I feel sorry for YOU, man. But, to each his own, I guess." The next rock hit him straight on, and Ranma rubbed the back of his head irritably.  
  
Kuno crossed his arms in contemplation, and inclined his head in deep thought. After a few seconds of this, he raised his head again. "Very well! You are wise, newcomer, to cede such a thing to me, your obvious better! For this offense and travesty, you shall not be harmed!"  
  
Ranma rolled his eyes. If this guy didn't shut up soon, then someone was going to get hurt. Ranma had a fair amount of patience, but he'd never met anyone so full of himself. Then he realized that the bokken was pointed at him again. "Now what?!"  
  
Kuno glared. "However. For the crime of your mocking both myself and my love, the beautious Akane Tendo, you shall be punished!"  
  
Kuno charged forward, unleashing a quick forward stab. He was totally unprepared for Ranma's speed, and the pigtailed boy jerked to the side before moving forward himself to plant his knee in the kendoist's stomach. Ranma backed out quickly, then spin-kicked Kuno in the back, sending the older boy onto the ground in a heap in front of Akane.  
  
Ranma sighed. "Now look here, jerk. I don't give a whit what's between you and Akane, just leave me out of it!"  
  
Kuno growled and got up, albeit unsteadily. "I fight on, knave!" He charged with a diagonal slash.  
  
Ranma's foot lashed out and stopped the weapon, and Ranma stood regarding Kuno on one leg with his arms crossed. "Look: get a clue. Either you back off and let me get to class, or I'm gonna have to hurt you. Bad."  
  
Akane remained gaping by the edge of the battleground, groaning boys still littering the ground before her. Ranma was treating Kuno like he was nothing! And getting away with it! Then she flinched slightly as a heavy droplet of water hit her neck and slid down into her shirt.  
  
Ranma's eyes widened as he felt a drop of rain fall onto his hair. Looks like he would have to finish this quickly, then. He kicked away Kuno's bokken, and the kendoist backed away to reposition his weapon.  
  
With the wooden blade raised overhead, Kuno charged forward yet again. "Now fool, you will be pun-"  
  
"Shikyo Hana!" Ranma launched himself forward with a wicked right hook aimed straight for Kuno's chest.  
  
*Boom!* An explosion of purple sent Kuno reeling as Ranma's fist connected, and he hit the ground hard and rolled, only coming to a complete stop with the combined aid of a tree trunk and his skull.  
  
Ranma had taken off as soon as the attack hit, retrieved his backpack, and leapt into one of the nearest windows, just barely managing to reach a safe haven before the spontaneous downpour started really coming down.  
  
  
  
Akane stood in the rain, staring at Kuno's smoking, unconscious figure in disbelief. Kuno had lost just like that?  
  
And then the bell rang.  
  
With a start of surprise, Akane ran for the entrance, only to remember her bag. Cursing Ranma for everything he had ever done to her so far, a few things he hadn't really done to her, and quite a few things that he had probably done to other people, she grabbed her makeshift schoolbag and sprinted into the school building.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
"Well Ranma, it would appear you've just come home from a trip to China, and your transfer papers are all in order. You may have a seat over there, next to Daisuke." The teacher waved Ranma in the general direction of his desk. Then the bell rang, and several students sat up in their desks.  
  
  
  
The teacher adjusted his glasses. "Now, let's see... Hmm? Has anyone seen Ms. Tendo? I'm sure I saw her creating some kind of fuss outside."  
  
Just then the door burst open, and a wet Akane sped into the room, her damp bag leaving small trails of water droplets.  
  
The teacher nodded. "Ah, so there you are. You're late. Go stand in the hall, Ms. Tendo. Buckets are in the usual place."  
  
Akane gaped and made as if to say something, but quickly swallowed it. Shooting one last look at Ranma that promised a slow, suffering, bloody death, Akane stalked out of the room.  
  
The teacher paid it no mind. Akane usually managed to finish her fights on time, but on occasion she took too long with Kuno to get in on time, and had accumulated a looming tardy record as a result. None of which was his problem.  
  
"Now class, turn to page 148 in your textbooks. Today we're going to learn more about the politics of the Toronaga Shogunate..."  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Akane continued glaring balefully at Ranma, never resting her fiery stare even as she related who he was to her friends.  
  
Yuka and Sayuri were now utterly convinced that Ranma was an entity summoned from the depths of hell itself. At least, that was about all they could deduce from listening to Akane's description of him.  
  
"He turns into a GIRL?!" Yuka looked over at him again, and tried to imagine what he would look like as a woman.  
  
Akane snorted. "Yeah, he's a total freak! Just splash him with cold water and you'll see. I'll bet he does all sorts of perverted things to his female body!" She broke eye contact for a moment to take a bite of a rice ball, then continued trying to will Ranma to die.  
  
  
  
Over on the other side of the field, Ranma sat under a tree alone as he ate his lunch ravenously.  
  
"Man, can that Kasumi COOK!!" He was soon licking his chopsticks above an empty bento box, and started scraping around on the bottom for grains of rice.  
  
"Hello!"  
  
Ranma blinked and looked up, to see that a small crowd had suddenly gathered around him. They were standing a measured distance away, and most looked at him with a sense of awe.  
  
Ranma looked back and forth. There were a number of boys in the crowd, but it was mostly consisted of girls. "Yeah?"  
  
The girl that had addressed him blushed and clasped her hands behind her back. "Well, we saw your fight this morning, and then we saw that you were eating here alone, so-"  
  
"Man! That was awesome how you beat Kuno!" One of the males interrupted and stepped forward. "How did you do it?"  
  
Ranma quirked an eyebrow. "Kuno? He wasn't anything special."  
  
One of the other guys looked at him suspiciously. "Were you serious about not dating Akane?" The girls suddenly adopted hopeful looks.  
  
Ranma shook his head slowly. "Give me a break. I wouldn't date that violent tomboy if you paid me. She attacked me and I defended myself. End of story." Half the boys in the crowd let off a spontaneous cheer and ran off, while all the girls let off a spotaneous cheer, but didn't budge.  
  
"So how'd you do that purple thing?" The few remaining boys listened in eagerly, but were suddenly thrust back by the girls rushing forward.  
  
"Yeah! That was so cool!"  
  
"Can you do it again?"  
  
"C'mon, how'd you do it?"  
  
Ranma was starting to feel a tad claustrophobic, and pressed his back against the tree, while holding his empty bento onto his chest, like a shield ready to defend. "Uh, well, it's sort of a technique that's unique to my family's style." He really didn't feel like explaining the source of his family's special powers to anyone, especially not to a bunch of school gossipers.  
  
"It must be a powerful style to beat Kuno so easy!"  
  
"HA!! So you too have been privy to this rumor!"  
  
  
  
The crowd suddenly scattered at the new voice, and Kuno strode forward arrogantly, his insufferable cockiness spoiled only by the bandages that showed from underneath his usual kendo outfit.  
  
He smirked, and addressed the crowd, his bokken resting easily on his shoulder. "You have all been victim to a terrible falsity! That I, the great Tatewaki Kuno, hath been defeated in combat by this lowly swine! Know this though! I do not admit defeat!"  
  
"He looked pretty defeated to me." One of the boys commented.  
  
"Don't you lose when you explode and fall unconscious?" The girl's friends nodded in agreement.  
  
Kuno snorted. "Only foul sorcery could have felled one such as I! Fight with honor, fiend!"  
  
Ranma held his head in his hand as the crowd started wispering.  
  
"Foul sorcery?"  
  
"Was that what it was?"  
  
"That purple energy... coulda been."  
  
"I still think it's cool though."  
  
Ranma sighed. "All right, fine. If you wanna call this sorcery," Ranma held up a palm, and his flame ignited in a tall blaze, eliciting an excited gasp from the crowd, "then we'll settle this the old-fashioned way." Ranma closed his fist, and the flames were reduced to thin wisps of smoke.  
  
Kuno laughed. "Ha ha ha!! So you know some honor, scoundrel! Now we fight as men, and I shall defeat you and claim the beauteous Akane Tendo for myself, so that she may at last fall into my arms-"  
  
Ranma had tuned Kuno out by then, so he turned his head when he heard the scraping of rock against rock.  
  
"-and proclaim her undying love for me! Akane Tendo, fear not! For soon you shall be free to lay your heart at my feet, as the fates have so decided!" Kuno at last finished his speech, only to see Ranma relaxing at the base of the tree, sitting cross-legged.  
  
"Fool! Get up and fight me!"  
  
Ranma smirked. "Good night, Kuno."  
  
Kuno blinked, and was about to start yet another grand and terribly long- winded monologue, when a large shadow suddenly eclipsed his form.  
  
*SMASH!*  
  
Ranma winced slightly as Akane slammed the large stone carving on top of the kendoist. Oh well, at least something finally shut him up. "Thanks Akane."  
  
Akane glared at him yet again. She had been doing that so often now, Ranma was beginning to wonder what her other expressions looked like. "I wasn't doing it for YOU, creep!"  
  
Ranma nodded. "Yeah, well, thanks anyway." 'Sheesh. And he wants to date her? He must be even dumber than he seems. This is a marriage counselor's dream come true.'  
  
He yawned lightly, then looked down at the empty bento he was still carrying. "Say, anybody got some spare food?"  
  
*Shoom* Before he could blink, he had a thick ring of bentos surrounding him in offering, held out by dozens of girls with hopeful looks.  
  
Ranma and Akane both sweatdropped.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
"Pop! We're home!" Ranma unbuttoned his jacket and stretched, then shrugged off his backpack.  
  
Iori gave his son a noncommital nod, then set down his go stone.  
  
Soun bigsweated. "Er... do-over! Please!"  
  
The redhead sweatdropped. "Another one?"  
  
Ranma grabbed a cracker from the table, and walked outside. Iori turned and watched him from the porch.  
  
"So how did school go? You didn't hurt anyone, did you?" Soun and Kasumi blinked at that. Akane's scowl simply deepened.  
  
Ranma shrugged. "Eh, only one guy. He seemed okay a little later though. At least until Akane smashed him with a really big rock."  
  
Iori's previous sweatdrop reappeared with a vengeance. Soun nodded, accustomed to such things, and switched some of his pieces around while Iori wasn't looking.  
  
Ranma frowned suddenly, then sat down next to the pond. "So what's the deal? What's up with this dumb 'beat you up and date you' thing?"  
  
Akane continued glaring at him, focusing all the anger she experienced any time somebody brought up her morning battles into the pigtailed boy before her. "That idiot Kuno declared that anyone who wanted to date me had to beat me in combat! Ever since, I've had to fight off the perverts every morning!"  
  
Ranma chuckled. "Heh! That's rich! They go through all that to date YOU? Are all those other girls nuns or something?"  
  
*Boot* Ranma was kicked into the pond, causing several poor, unfortunate koi dramatic, emotional scarring that would haunt them for the rest of their supposedly calm, contemplative lives.  
  
The boy-turned-girl broke the surface of the water, and immediately splashed her way out of the pond, matching Akane's glare.  
  
Akane's victorious smirk soon melted back into a frown. "Don't think that you have the right to date me now! You didn't defeat me! There's no way that counts!"  
  
Ranma's glare shifted into a mirthful expression. "Hey, like I said, I wouldn't date you at gunpoint!" He jumped over her kick this time, and spun around to face her on the opposite side of the yard.  
  
"And it doesn't matter whether that counts or not, because I could beat you ANY time, ANY place, BLINDFOLDED, with BOTH hands tied behind my back!!" Akane screamed in frustration and charged at him, to which he responded by simply jumping onto the roof, out of range.  
  
  
  
Iori watched the whole scene dispassionately, then turned back to the Go board, realizing immediately that some pieces had been moved.  
  
Nabiki, who had arrived only moments before, shook her head and smirked at the scene of Akane throwing things at Ranma while he was still on the roof. "I swear, those two are just too much, huh Mr. Yagami?" She turned toward the expressionless redhead, a slight smile on her face. "I'll be in my room if anyone needs me!" She called out a little too loudly, then hurried upstairs. Iori stared after her.  
  
"Yagami? It's your turn." Soun smiled and leaned back slightly, confident now that he was in a winning position.  
  
Iori looked back at the board, then put down his stone. "I win."  
  
*Crash* Soun facefaulted.  
  
Iori got up, ignoring Soun's pathetic begging for a rematch, and slowly ascended the stairs.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
*Toonk* *Toonk* *Toonk*  
  
Nabiki smirked, not looking towards her door. "Come in!"  
  
Iori entered slowly, shutting the door behind him.  
  
Nabiki turned around, and an obviously fake joyous smile played across her face. "Why Mr. Yagami, what a pleasant surprise! Whatever are you doing here?"  
  
Iori's expression didn't budge a micrometer. "You tell me."  
  
'Damn he's good. What is he made of, stone?' Her smile dimished slightly into a more casual expression. "All right, you seem to be a no-nonsense kind of guy. So I'll get to the point. You said that you're not going to make Ranma marry one of us, yet you're still staying here. What's the deal? And please don't hand me any B.S. about Ranma getting to know one of us and deciding to marry us on his own. I've talked to him, and apparently that's the last thing on his mind."  
  
Iori raised an eyebrow, and Nabiki was annoyed that she felt a slight surge of pride for getting him to express that much.  
  
The large man sighed. "All right. I wasn't hoping he would marry one of you, but I was hoping he could at least get to know one of you well."  
  
Nabiki took this in. "Okay. But why? Why would you care, if he didn't end up marrying one of us to unite the schools?"  
  
Iori stared. "And why should I tell you that?"  
  
Nabiki's expression quickly hardened. "Look Yagami, your son just spent the day completely humiliating my little sister. Now, I don't take this personally, because frankly, she's not the nicest person in the world, but he claims that he's dangerous-REALLY dangerous-and I'm not going to let my family get into any real danger for no reason."  
  
Iori's expression again went back to betraying nothing. "I see."  
  
He glanced at the door for a moment, then turned back to Nabiki. "It's like this. My wife's a fine woman, but she has some... odd views on masculinity. So she let me take Ranma to China, but only under one condition."  
  
Nabiki nodded. "Go on."  
  
Iori sighed, and for once let his mask slip partially, showing the beginning of what Nabiki could only guess was exasperation or worry. "She said that when he got back, he has to have a girlfriend."  
  
*Thump*  
  
Nabiki rubbed her head irritably as she got up from where she had fallen down. "A girlfriend? Weird."  
  
Iori nodded. "Yeah, well, I've answered your question. Now how about you do something for me?"  
  
Nabiki blinked at him innocently. "And what would that be?"  
  
Iori stared. "............ Fine. If you're going to make me say it. I want you to act as Ranma's girlfriend when we go to meet Nodoka again. I'm going to take enough heat because of the curse, but if Ranma has somebody hanging on him, then she might not take it so hard."  
  
Nabiki smiled. Jackpot. "10,000 yen."  
  
Iori's expression retained its stoniness. "You know, if you're really thinking about prostitution as a career path, you could probably sell yourself for more than that."  
  
Nabiki laughed and sat back on her bed. "Touche! You ARE good!" She sat up and steepled her fingers. "But my price still stands."  
  
Iori shrugged and picked a wallet out of his pocket. "You don't have to sleep with him or anything. Just be there when Ranma sees his mother again."  
  
Nabiki nodded. "I understand. Though..." Iori stopped and focused on her, "there could be other ways to pay."  
  
He didn't budge.  
  
Nabiki looked up at him seriously. "Ranma said that there's something about him more dangerous than that purple fire thing. Plus, I really think you left something out when you told us the story about Jusenkyou. let me in on it all, and I'll go out with Ranma a few times, meet with his mother and the whole shebang."  
  
Iori kept staring, and Nabiki found herself fidgeting under his gaze. She forced herself to stop.  
  
Eventually he lowered his eyes. "That's not for me to tell."  
  
She tapped her chin thoughtfully. "10,000 yen isn't exactly pocket change. I'm really too curious for my own good."  
  
*Bam* Nabiki turned and saw a stack of notes on her night table.  
  
"Ask Ranma about it."  
  
She raised an eyebrow. "He won't tell."  
  
"Then that's his right. The kid's been through a lot of grief because of it. I'll tell you this, he makes it out worse than it is. None of you are in any real danger." The redhead turned to leave.  
  
"Are you sure you won't reconsider?" Iori ignored her and walked out of the room, shutting the door behind him.  
  
She sighed, then shrugged and picked up the bills. Ranma had only been there for one day, and already he was making her a profit!  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Ranma let out a deep sigh and shook her head from her position hanging just outside Nabiki's window.  
  
"So THAT'S why Pop wanted to stay here. Geez. He coulda just told me." The small redhead muttered irritably, then swung down onto the ground and walked back into the house.  
  
'Mom actually said that? Well, she has always been a little weird, but still, a girlfriend?' Ranma passed her father on the stairs, who gave her an acknowledging nod before heading down into the yard.  
  
Ranma kicked open the bathroom door, still in thought. 'A girlfriend, huh? Well, Pop already paid Nabiki, so I guess I should just go along with it. He's doing this for both our sakes.'  
  
She climbed out of her clothes, and mashed it all together in a big bundle with the clearly displayed crescent moon of his jacket marking the heap as hers. Taking a quick glance to see that the 'Occupied' sign wasn't up, she entered the washroom, head hung in contemplation.  
  
'Still, what's Mom going to say about my curse?'  
  
"Get out of here, you freak!"  
  
Ranma heaved a deep sigh. "Yeah, probably."  
  
Then she blinked, and looked up. To see Akane. Naked. Ripping the sink fixture out of the wall and holding it above her head, poised to strike.  
  
"Uh... sign... no... didn't... see... um..."  
  
"PERVERT!!!" *SMASH!!* *CRUNCH!!* *BAM!!* *POW!!*  
  
  
  
Ranma crawled out of the washroom, masses of bruises covering her body.  
  
"Un... Uncute..." She muttered.  
  
*WHAM!!!* The sink flew out of the bathroom and beaned her on the head, rendering her unconscious.  
  
  
  
*************************************************************************** *******  
  
End of Chapter 2  
  
  
  
All right, I feel that this is the best time to explain Ranma's fighting abilities. Ranma's stronger and tougher than in the beginning of the manga, but he's also slower, though he's obviously still fast enough to mess around in a fight with Kuno or Akane.  
  
Ranma pretty much devised his own style, which is mostly Anything-Goes heavily laced with what Iori taught him about using his flame. He hits harder, but not as often, and he's more comfortable on the ground or on some kind of stable surface than in the air, though he's basically a capable fighter no matter what the situation.  
  
  
  
Special techniques are as follows, and will be added to as the story progresses:  
  
Yami Barai - Dark Thrust: Iori's ground fireball from the game.  
  
Oni Yaki - Demon Scorcher: Iori's uppercut move from the game; Ranma jumps and spins, and fire surrounds him.  
  
Koto Tsuki In - Dark Crescent Moon Slice: Iori's rush attack from the game; Ranma runs up, hits them in the face, then slams them down and blasts them with fire.  
  
Shikyo Hana - Death Blossom: One of Ranma's unique moves. Basically a swift, strong fire punch ideal for causing major damage to larger, slower moving targets, due to the explosive force. Similar to Kyo's Poison Gnawfest.  
  
  
  
Super combos (No KOF fic would be complete without these!):  
  
Ya Otome - Maiden Masher: Iori's super combo from the game; Ranma grabs his opponent, hits them a lot, then gives them CPR with a few fireballs.  
  
Seikyo no Toguchi - (Maiden Masher Advanced) Death's Door: Ranma's own revision of his father's slam-fest move. It will appear in later chapters. 


	3. Trial by Fire

*Ahem* "Hello?"  
  
A figure entered the blank, white staging area, looking around as if lost.  
  
Upon closer inspection, one can see he is fairly tall with dark brown hair, and thick glasses on. Soon he turns to the readers.  
  
"Ah! Here we go!"  
  
The figure, better known as Black Dragon, the Lord of Chaos, adopted a very authoritive pose and coughed into his hand.  
  
"Hello dear readers, and welcome to another installment of Yagami 1/2, yet another piece of boorish writing meant to rot your mind and, ultimately, trick you into sending me money."  
  
He blinked, as if realizing what he said, then shrugged his shoulders and lowered his head.  
  
"From time to time I may use brief interludes such as this to address certain problems or questions that the readers have, to save time on sending out explanatory e-mails, and to enlighten those who are too shy or too lazy to ask me anything."  
  
BD raised a hand, and a diagram of a depressed Ranma Yagami rolled down from nowhere.  
  
"I have recieved several inquiries as to Ranma's character. Namely, why he was hit so hard by his curse. Many have used the argument that since he hadn't grown up with Genma, he wouldn't place such an irrational value on his manhood."  
  
BD shook his head. "First of all, it must be explained that Ranma Yagami is not altogether that different from the Ranma Saotome we all know and love. He's a bit smarter, a bit stronger, a tad more polite, and a little more calm, but he's essentially still the masculine sap he was in canon. I make him this to preserve as much of Ranma's character as possible, because, well, I like his character."  
  
BD gestured with his other hand, and a diagram of a depressed female Ranma Yagami rolled down.  
  
"Now, onto his curse. First off, turning into a girl would freak out ANY normal guy. Second of all, when he first came out as a girl, he didn't know the full extent of the curse, so he thought it permanent. As for his 'failure', Ranma actually respects his father in this timeline, and believes, being the simple, macho sap that he is, that all Iori really wishes of him is to be a better man than Iori himself. That was the whole point of that overly dramatic scene from chapter 1 during the training trip. Ranma, of course, thinks that being a girl or being a half-girl makes him less of a man, or in the former case, not a man at all, and unable to fulfill his father's wishes. And this, therefore, is Ranma's 'failure'. It's that simple, really. Iori never really set him straight, since he's not exactly the touchy-feely type that would sit down and talk to his son like that."  
  
BD shrugged. "After he found out that his curse could be reversed, which happened after the scenario that will be inadequately explained later to make sure you're still eager to hear about what has already happened, Ranma felt some hope, but this was pretty much overshadowed by the way he lost control and went Orochi. Ranma views this as another failure, and feels responsible for everything he did while in that state. Not only that, but after the Yagami clan's history was revealed to him, Ranma started thinking of himself as some kind of monster, in a addition to being half girl. This is a reason for anyone to be depressed."  
  
Black Dragon yanked down on the edges of the diagrams, which then rolled themselves up out of sight.  
  
"Of course, all these problems have a single root. One cause. One single factor that is truly responsible: MOUSSE!"  
  
BD pulled down a diagram of Mousse, with a large set of red crosshairs stamped onto his figure.  
  
"So far, most of Ranma's big problems are Mousse's fault. And I always feel that blame is best taken where blame is due."  
  
The diagram rolled up, and BD started chuckling slowly, which soon escalated into Iori-ish, bellowing laughter.  
  
*CRASH!!!*  
  
In response, a giant white crescent moon fell from above, falling on top of Black Dragon and smashing him through the floor.  
  
"Ow............"  
  
Terry Bogard poked his head in, then shook it in resignation. Then he walked up to the moon, which was still embedded in the hardwood foundation. Opening up a hatch to the side, he flipped a switch and pressed a button.  
  
As Terry backed off, the moon began to rise out of the floor, and then stopped when it was a meter high. Suddenly purple flames engulfed it, creating an intense visual effect that would be nifty to watch, but is rather boring to read about.  
  
Terry smiled apologetically at the readers. "Sorry 'bout that. Technical difficulties." Terry put his hand up, and the scene was engulfed by static.  
  
  
  
*Pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssht*  
  
  
  
*Beep*  
  
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File loaded. Have a nice day.  
  
  
  
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Yagami 1/2  
  
A Ranma 0.5/King of Fighters Crossover  
  
by Black Dragon  
  
revcoll@peoplepc.com  
  
http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/fanficlair/index.html  
  
  
  
Ranma is the most grandiose creation of her majesty Rumiko Takahashi. KOF belongs to SNK, or whoever they were bought out by. Are they still making their own games? Oh well. This fanfic contains exteme violence, tremendous explosions, explicit nudity, lots of meaningless sex, and a penguin toting a machine gun.  
  
(Author's Note: I lied!)  
  
  
  
Chapter 3  
  
Trial by Fire  
  
*************************************************************************** *******  
  
  
  
"Where on Earth am I now?!"  
  
The various farmers tending the fields of rice looked up from their work to view a sight they had in fact viewed on previous occasions, though those were rather few and far between.  
  
The young man of 16 looked back and forth randomly as he jogged through the rice fields, occasionally changing direction, seemingly at random, and eventually crossing a path he had previously made through the rice plants.  
  
The boy wore black pants and a yellow shirt, and had a black and gold bandanna tied around his head to keep his raven black hair from his eyes. He toted a large leather backpack, with a red umbrella on top.  
  
Approaching a random farmer, the young martial artist we all know as Ryoga Hibiki composed his speech in his head before speaking.  
  
{Excuse me, know you way to Japan?}  
  
The farmer blinked, then cocked his head to the side. "Lost again, sonny? What language is that?"  
  
Ryoga blinked, then realized that the farmer had spoken in Japanese. "I... I'm not in Russia anymore! YES!!!" Ryoga raised a triumphant fist to the heavens, and several farmers shook their heads and returned to their work.  
  
Ryoga looked back at the farmer. "You wouldn't happen to know the name Ranma Yagami, would you?"  
  
The farmer sighed. "Boy, you ask someone that every time you come around these parts. No, we don't know anyone named Ranma Yagami."  
  
Ryoga sighed. "Oh well. Wait, you said I've been here before? Where am I?"  
  
The farmer lowered his straw hat slightly. "Why, you're in Okinawa, sonny."  
  
Ryoga contemplated that for a moment. "Is that anywhere near Tokyo?"  
  
"Would it make a difference if it was?"  
  
The lost boy gave an embarrassed chuckle. He had definitely been here before. "So, uh, which way to Tokyo, sir?"  
  
The farmer sighed and retrieved his hoe. "Just pick a direction. I've got work to do."  
  
Yes, these people had obviously spoken to him before.  
  
And so, Ryoga picked a direction, and started jogging once again.  
  
'Ranma, I swear I'll pay you back for everything you've done to me.' Ryoga's eyes squeezed shut as he remembered that fateful day at Jusenkyou. 'Everything!'  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Flashback sequence...  
  
  
  
"Damn you Ranma! Where are you hiding now?!" Ryoga trudged along the top of the cliff, searching among the trees and patches of bamboo for his hated rival. After so long, he had almost found him!  
  
Ryoga came to a clearing, then sighed and sat down. He couldn't move very far; everything indicated that the Yagamis would be staying at that training ground that was somewhere around here, or perhaps a village nearby, and if Ryoga spent to much time searching, he'd inevitably miss Ranma and head out of the country. He couldn't let that happen! It had taken him years to finally find Ranma's trail!  
  
Ryoga started to take off his backpack, when he heard the most peculiar sound.  
  
*Kaboom!*  
  
This distant rumble was accompanied by the oddest thing: a bright purple flash and an eruption of dark, violet fire out among the trees. Ryoga blinked at the sight.  
  
*Kaboom!*  
  
Odd... that one seemed closer.  
  
*Kaboom!*  
  
Nobody had ever accused Ryoga of being terribly bright, and for good reason. Ryoga didn't make the connection between the strange purple flame and the same energy his eternal rival used until far later.  
  
*Kaboom!!*  
  
Okay, that one was DEFINITELY closer.  
  
*KABOOM!!!*  
  
Dark fire poured out of the forest and into the clearing, leaves and bamboo snapping and shriveling at its touch. Ryoga pulled his umbrella from his backpack, and pointed it at where he could best guess was the threat.  
  
Whatever he was expecting, Ryoga was utterly flabbergasted when a shaking, hunched-over, slack-jawed, redheaded girl stepped out of the dark firestorm. The flames quickly began to recede, and as the background dimmed, Ryoga could see the blazing purple aura around the girl.  
  
The redhead looked up at him, and Ryoga gulped as he stared into the bright yellow eyes. Bright, but empty.  
  
The girl seemed to chuckle deeply, and pale smoke wafted from her mouth. Then she grinned and staggered forward, regarding him almost curiously.  
  
"Shyaaaaah......"  
  
Ryoga stepped back, alarmed, and moved his umbrella into a striking position. The girl looked to be around his age, with her bright red hair done up in a ponytail, and her body cloaked within a large black jacket of some unknown material. Ryoga did some quick figuring. The way she looked and acted, and the way she was throwing otherworldly fire around, she was either a demon of sorts, or...... she had been bitten by a rabid animal.  
  
Ryoga shrugged. 'Either way...' The lost boy attacked.  
  
The battle was short and painful, just as he had intended. Well, not quite in the way he had intended.  
  
*Thwack* Ryoga gaped as the girl slapped away his umbrella, sending it bouncing over the edge of the cliff.  
  
Ryoga launched a simple punch, and recieved his second shock as the girl howled, then ducked under the blow and grabbed his arm.  
  
"Kyaaaaaaaaaa!!" *Poom!* *Poom!* *Poom!* *Poom!* *Poom!*  
  
Ryoga grunted in pain as she drove a loose fist into his gut repeatedly, each blow striking with the force of a battering ram. Ryoga tried to punch with his free hand, but she simply leaned back and let the fist pass before slamming Ryoga back with a shoulder charge.  
  
The lost boy staggered backwards, completely shocked that such a slight girl could muster the strength to actually hurt him. After a nanosecond of thought, and quite a few seconds of clutching his stomach, he reevaluated his initial conclusion; she was even stronger than he was!  
  
He wasn't given enough time to recover from his shock, however, physical or mental.  
  
"Graugh!" The redhead slammed the heel of her heavy boot into his left shoulder, then twisted around the retaliatory punch. Ryoga grunted as she backhanded him with her left hand across the jaw, then fell backwards as she followed up with a punishing right hook on the same spot.  
  
He grunted pathetically as she grasped his neck and slowly hauled him off the ground. Was this the end? Would his quest for revenge be stopped by some possessed teenager?  
  
"Ranma!" The deep voice echoed from far beyond the trees, and Ryoga's vision started to get fuzzy as the girl held him over her head. But for a moment... the girl lessened the pressure on his throat, and the yellow light of her eyes dimmed. She hesitated...  
  
Ryoga connected his first blow for the entire fight, and was dropped on the ground as his haymaker smashed into the demon girl's jaw. Grunting as his bruised torso absorbed the short fall, Ryoga felt with no small amount of satisfaction that warm, moist blood and spittle had wet his knuckles.  
  
"Kraaaaaaaaaaugh!!!"  
  
For all it was worth, anyway, since the girl recovered quickly, and made her annoyance known by grasping Ryoga again, this time around the face, and lifting him once more into the air.  
  
*THWOOOM!!!* Purple fire engulfed the lost boy, and Ryoga let out a muffled scream as energy seared his skin.  
  
*Whump!* A physical blow on his right side was followed by a new burst of flame, and Ryoga tumbled to the side, rolling helplessly toward the edge of the cliff.........  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Tears threatened to leak out of Ryoga's eyes as his legs started shaking. He didn't know how long he fell, or how far, but when he had finally landed in the spring...  
  
Well, at first he was glad, but then, he was on fire at the time.  
  
Ryoga held up a fist in front of him, and saw that it was trembling. To be cursed to turn into a pig... was an insult too grievous to bear! And then, to wander in sorrow and misery for three days, to stumble upon the Amazon village and hear an abridged story from a disgruntled village guard... how an outsider male named Ranma had gotten cursed and manifested a type of berserk state... how the curse turned the boy into a redheaded girl, as Ryoga's own turned him into a black piglet...  
  
The lost boy's eyes burned, and his fist was encompassed by a bright green halo.  
  
And then, with the end of his quest in sight, he got lost trying to enter the village!  
  
"DAMN YOU RANMA!!!"  
  
*SMASH!!!* The considerably thick trunk of a tree that had simply chosen the wrong spot to grow in was blown to splinters by the incredible strength of the blow. The lost boy retracted his fist as the tree's head of branches and leaves fell to the ground before him, his face twisted into an expression or imperceptible rage.  
  
Ryoga paid the unfortunate plant no mind, and the fallen branches were torn apart as Ryoga heedlessly trudged through them. Ranma was still out there. And he would pay!  
  
"YOU!!! WILL!!! PAY!!!!"  
  
  
  
The farmer sighed and rose from his work. "Keep it down, would you boy? And stop knocking down trees!" The farmer returned to his hoeing as Ryoga blushed sheepishly.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Ranma Yagami whistled to himself as he walked along the top of the fence on his way to school. He was in an unusually good mood today, because Nabiki had offered to walk with him to school before Akane left. Ranma figured he might as well accept, seeing how Akane apparently hadn't gotten over the incident of the previous night.  
  
'Sheesh. It wasn't like I did it on purpose. And it's not like she didn't beat me to within an inch of my life for it.' Ranma sighed.  
  
"So Ranma, how do you like Furinkan so far?" Nabiki could see that Ranma was caught off guard by the question, though he tried not to show it.  
  
"Eh, it's all right, I guess. An awful lot of weirdos though." Ranma shrugged his shoulders. It wasn't a big deal; he could qualify as a weirdo himself quite easily.  
  
Nabiki laughed. "Yeah, Kuno is a piece of work." Ranma went back to contemplating uncute tomboys, and Nabiki frowned. She considered herself very good at reading people, and she was reading that Ranma wasn't the type to open up to people easily. Which was unfortunate, since getting others to open up and similar touchy-feely stuff simply wasn't her forte. That was what Kasumi did.  
  
She decided to cut to the chase. What was he going to do, refuse?  
  
"Hey Yagami, I was thinking, there's a nice Italian place down the street. Why don't we stop by after school?" Nabiki let a playful smirk cross her face as Ranma frowned nervously and rubbed the back of his head.  
  
'Oh, right. She's supposed to be my girlfriend now. What does that mean for me, anyway?' "Uh, sure, I guess. My treat?"  
  
Nabiki grinned. "Why, naturally, of course!"  
  
Ranma turned away slightly as they approached the school. Several of the boys who had recovered from yesterday's beating were getting into their regular groups and arming themselves.  
  
Ranma frowned as one boy in particular apparently took offense at his presence.  
  
"Ranma Yagami, I shall vanquish thee!" Students dove out of the way as Kuno charged the pigtailed boy, and Nabiki walked past them to get a good spot to watch from in front of the building.  
  
Ranma crossed his arms as Kuno approached. Then his right fist lashed out, and Kuno found his weapon yanked out of his hands. Ranma made a display of smashing the bokken apart, and then made an even bigger display of doing the same to Kuno.  
  
*Pow* *Thwack* *Smash* Kuno went reeling onto the ground from Ranma's backhand, and stayed there.  
  
Ranma remained in the same position, with one arm outstretched and the other in his pocket. He smirked. "There. See how much more smoothly things go when we keep speeches to a minimum?"  
  
Kuno declined to reply, presumably because he was unconscious at the time.  
  
Someone in the crowd started clapping, and others began to join him. By the time Ranma had reached Nabiki again, the front yard of the school was cheering him on.  
  
Ranma blinked, and looked back at the applauding mass. "Weird."  
  
Nabiki smiled, then shook her head and entered the school.  
  
Ranma was about to follow her, when a wordless battle cry erupted from across the front yard, Ranma turned his head tiredly to watch as Akane started plowing through the groups of sports jocks.  
  
He idly regarded that they seemed to be putting a lot more effort into their attacks then yesterday. Not that it helped any single one of them very much, but apparently seeing that Akane COULD be taken down had given meaning to what was once a futile exercise of routine.  
  
Ranma shook his head. Considering how good Akane really was, that spoke volumes about how sadly this crowd was doing.  
  
Still, she at was at least frustrated. Which gave Ranma a not-very-nice idea. His bored expression slowly broke into a smile. A small purple spark ignited in his palm, and grew slightly before the young Yagami thrust his hand flat onto the ground. The nearly invisible spark streaked across the ground on a precisely calculated course, based on Akane's progress through the horde of fighters.  
  
Contact.  
  
"Ack!" Akane cried out in surprise as a jolt of searing pain shot up her leg, and she stumbled as a small detonation below forced her off-balance.  
  
The advancing boys all froze in disbelief, and stared as Akane hit the ground and grunted at the impact. Then they decided that they weren't going to let an opportunity like this pass.  
  
Akane's eyes widened as the various jocks commenced a major dogpile. She tried to defend herself, but her disadvantageous position, combined with the fact that her opponents were truly ganging up on her for the first time, proved to be her downfall.  
  
Ranma clutched his sides to keep from laughing as he entered the school. The boys were now getting off the fallen Tendo girl, and had started fighting each other to decide who had actually beaten her.  
  
The crowd was eventually scattered by a revived Tatewaki Kuno, who proceeded to declare rather elegantly that since he was the only one remaining where Akane had fallen, that the victory was in fact his.  
  
After a brief burst of triumphant laughter, Kuno gathered his love in his arms and headed for the nurse's office.  
  
  
  
Up in a classroom on the fourth floor, Nabiki hit the ground in a facefault as one of her classmates informed her that her little sister had just lost her usual morning battle, with Kuno as an illegitimate victor.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Ranma allowed himself a smug smile as Nabiki questioned her little sister about the morning's fight. It was lunch time again, and he was leaning against the side of the tree opposite the irate Tendo as she fumed not-so- silently.  
  
"I'm telling you, it was a fluke! Someone cheated somehow!"  
  
Nabiki stared at her flatly. "Do you realize how lame that sounds?"  
  
Akane fumed, then rubbed her leg. "It was odd... it felt like a... an explosion! Yeah! A small explosion!!"  
  
Nabiki frowned at this. "One of the guys I asked said that there was a small burst of dirt near your leg before you fell. Maybe that was it?"  
  
The middle daughter suddenly found herself being stared at very closely by Akane as the younger girl gripped her shoulders and held her. "YES!!! Exactly! See? I didn't lose!!"  
  
Nabiki nodded slowly and backed away from her sister's slightly frantic expression. "Okay Akane, you didn't lose. It sounds to me like the guys in the chemistry club are trying their luck in your fights with their land mines." Ranma muffled a loud snicker.  
  
Akane growled. "Those jerks! Can't even fight me like a man!" Then she frowned. "If they planted it, why weren't they there?"  
  
Nabiki shrugged. "Got me. They might have figured they'd just wait around till after the battle, then reveal themselves and pick you up, but then Kuno came around and got you." Akane shuddered, and her battle aura shined briefly as she recalled fending off Kuno in the nurse's office. "More likely though, they just didn't think things all the way through. Even mathematics geniuses can be idiots."  
  
"ALL boys are idiots," Akane muttered.  
  
'Not only boys,' Nabiki thought. "Regardless Akane, that's twice in a row you've lost your morning battle, officially or not." Akane opened her mouth to deny it, then stopped, and shut it with an audible *click*.  
  
Nabiki lowered her eyebrow and continued. "What I'm trying to say is, a lot of guys who had the brains to decide you were unbeatable and to lay off are planning to rejoin the fight to date you. Some people are actually asking me to take bets against you. A few groups are even organizing to beat you."  
  
Akane blinked at that. Nabiki hadn't taken a bet on her morning fights in a little over a year, since she had never lost. Well, not until yesterday. And that didn't count!  
  
Wait... organizing?  
  
"What do you mean they're organizing? How would that work if they beat me?" Akane stopped, then quickly added, "Not that they will, of course."  
  
Nabiki shrugged. "That depends on who you ask, though I did hear the word 'fivesome' once, and I'm certain it wouldn't involve more than one girl."  
  
  
  
Ranma clutched his arms around his stomach. It was currently taking all his strength and and concentration not to laugh until he died, and he didn't want to give himself away. Who knew that spiteful, petty, practical jokes could be so much fun?  
  
By the time he wiped the tears from his eyes, he realized that he had stopped in front of someone.  
  
Upon further inspection, that 'someone' was a short, busty brunette standing shock-still with her arms locked straight and her hands claspsing something behind her back. She was wearing the standard girl's uniform and a pair of large, wire-rimmed glasses, and her dark brown hair was worn long down to the middle of her back.  
  
"Uh... can I help you?" Ranma scratched the back of his head, wondering what she was doing just standing there and staring at him.  
  
Her face seemed to glow red for a moment, and she opened her mouth to speak.  
  
Ranma waited. Nothing came out. She closed her mouth, then swallowed and opened it again.  
  
"I... I'm... I mean... my name is... Hana..." Her face turned an even brighter shade of scarlet, and she lowered her head, mortified.  
  
Ranma blinked. "Oh. Uh, well, my name's Ranma. Nice to meet you, Hana." He started to walk past, and she panicked and stepped in front of him.  
  
"Wait! I thought you might be hungry!" She thrust a small box into his arms, and his nostrils picked up the enticing scent of chicken tempura. Hana almost swooned at Ranma's smile.  
  
"Wow! Thanks!" He gave her a polite bow, then took the box and squatted right down on the ground and started eating.  
  
The girl stared in wonder at the sight of Ranma shoveling the food into his mouth at a pace that was more suited to a serving ladle than chopsticks. In some bizarre fashion, this made him seem all the more desirable.  
  
She gulped, and opened her mouth again. Whether or not anything would have come out would remain unseen, as that was when Nabiki located her boyfriend/client.  
  
"So there you are. I thought you finished your lunch." Nabiki frowned as she watched some freshman girl sit down across from him as he turned toward her. She put two and two together, and raised an eyebrow at her.  
  
She didn't notice, apparently, so engrossed was she in Ranma's meal.  
  
"Did you like it? I... I made it! It's my mother's recipe actually, but I cooked it myself! You see, it's very hard to get the batter just right, so- " She continued babbling happily, as Ranma turned back to his meal and resumed eating.  
  
Nabiki coughed. Then her expression became annoyed when Ranma didn't even slow down in consuming the food. Giving a mental sigh, she addressed him anyway. "So Ranma, we never discussed a time for our date."  
  
THAT got the other girl's attention immediately. "What?! Date?!" She stared at Ranma, horrified, only to realize that he was concentrating on picking the last bits of food out of the box.  
  
Nabiki blinked innocently as the girl turned toward her again. "Yes, date. Not that it's any of your business, but Ranma and I are a couple. Why did you think he didn't want to date Akane?" She fluttered her eyelashes and smiled so innocently that any jury would find her guilty from the gesture alone.  
  
Hana looked ready to cry for a moment, but then her expression hardened and she glared at Nabiki fiercely. Well, as fiercely as she could manage. Nabiki had to admit, the girl was seriously cute, and wasn't able to pull off menacing very well.  
  
  
  
The abrupt staring contest was brought to a premature halt when Ranma let out a very satisfied sigh, and turned toward Hana.  
  
"Thanks a lot for the tempura! That was really good!"  
  
Hana blushed and stuttered something as she accepted the box, and Ranma stopped to try and figure out what she was saying. She took a deeper breath, and continued in a calmer voice.  
  
"Well, if-if yo-you like, I... I could bring one for you tomorrow too!"  
  
Ranma smiled, and she lost herself in the infinite depths of his blue eyes.  
  
"Really? That'd be great!" Then he frowned. "Well, I mean, I should do something for you too... how about we stop by-URK!!!" Ranma's speech was very abruptly stopped as Nabiki grabbed the collar of his jacket from behind him and pulled toward her.  
  
"Ranma, could I speak to you over there, please?" Her voice was perfectly sweet, without a trace of malice. Ranma just KNEW he had screwed up big time.  
  
"Help..." He whimpered, as the middle daughter of the Tendo family dragged him away.  
  
  
  
Hana couldn't do anything but frown in dismay as Nabiki hauled Ranma off by the jacket, her serene expression only ruined by the occasional twitch of her left eye.  
  
Once they were out of sight, however, Hana fell onto her back and sighed happily, a rosy blush coloring her cheeks. He had actually talked to her! He had eaten her lunch! And he had (almost) asked her out!  
  
She wiggled in the grass slightly as a warm, fuzzy feeling enveloped her insides.  
  
And, judging by his response, he was either "a", not as deeply involved with Nabiki as she claimed, "b", totally clueless, or "c", an unfaithful, vile playboy.  
  
  
  
At an ice rink roughly eight miles away, Mikado Sanzenin sneezed violently in the middle of the Golden Pair's Couple Cleaver maneuver, causing major injury to himself, and the Golden Pair's first loss ever.  
  
  
  
Naturally, the answer was, of course, "a", with "b" as a remote possibility. There was simply no way such a perfect specimen of manhood like Ranma could be the kind of person to lure hopeful girls into his arms, only to use them and then throw them away like spoiled goods. What kind of person would do that, anyway?  
  
  
  
Back at the ice rink, Mikado Sanzenin sneezed violently a second time, causing him to fall off the stretcher that he was being carried on and onto a pile of ice skates. The paramedics began to lift him up, only to drop him back onto the skates in order to chase after Azusa Shiratori, who had named the cute stretcher "Juan" and ran off with it.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Nabiki sighed and looked up at a nervous-looking Ranma who was stood up against a tree.  
  
This whole deal was going to be a problem, and she knew it. She was a reasonable person. She knew that she had absolutely no right to keep Ranma from seeing other women. Just as she had no right, and no real desire, to keep those other women from him.  
  
But Nabiki Tendo had never failed to keep her end of a business contract, so such trivial problems simply couldn't be allowed to get in the way.  
  
The problem was going to be convincing Ranma of that. So far he had just stood there looking like a puppy that was wondering if it would be kicked.  
  
She sighed, and put on an encouraging expression. "So, Ranma, you apparently were too busy eating back there to hear, but I was wondering, what time did you want to eat?"  
  
Ranma blinked, then apparently decided that there was nothing to worry about. "Uh, well, I don't have anything to do after school, except for this dumb challenge that Kuno sent me." Ranma held the folded piece of paper up, and Nabiki blinked.  
  
Ranma shrugged. "No big deal. The moron had some little guy in a ninja costume give it to me. It'll take a minute, tops. Well, maybe five minutes if he insists on pre-fight speeches." Ranma frowned, as if that was truly the only thing of consideration in Kuno's threat.  
  
Nabiki cocked her head to one side. "You really do take Kuno lightly, don't you? You might want to be a little more careful; he's the best fighter in the school, you know."  
  
Ranma smirked. "WAS the best fighter in the school. I could take that blockhead any day." He flexed his hand to hold the challenge letter straight up, and it suddenly burst into purple flame. Nabiki blinked, impressed despite herself.  
  
Then she smiled. "All right. I've got some stuff to do after school anyway. Let's say 4:00, okay? Be there; I don't like to be kept waiting." Giving him what could only be the dreaded female 'warning glance', Nabiki turned and headed back to class, moments before the bell rang.  
  
And as Ranma bounded to his classroom's window with a single leap, the ashes of Kuno's letter fell to the ground, forgotten.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Ranma spared a glance at Nabiki as she merged with the crowds leaving the school grounds, and their eyes met briefly, relaying nothing but a simply confirmation that they knew of each other.  
  
Nabiki nodded at him, and he bounded off, a few of the students giving appreciative murmurs at the casual display of agility.  
  
It still made her wonder why Ranma had accepted a date with her so quickly. Not that she thought he would refuse, but the way he had accepted so casually and without any kind of anticipation or thought made her suspicious.  
  
But, overall, he seemed like a nice enough guy, and he was paying for the meal. Shrugging, the teenage mercenary left for her house, idly wondering what the evening would bring.  
  
  
  
Ranma leapt atop a nearby roof, easily hopping from rooftop to rooftop as he made his way through the streets. Why did Kuno have to host a challenge in some park on the far side of town?  
  
Shaking his head at the stupidity of it all, Ranma jumped atop a passing taxi, his moon-embroidered jacket swaying in the wind of his passage.  
  
Eventually the driver asked him not so politely to get off his car, and Ranma hopped onto another roof as the man shook his fist at the pigtailed boy.  
  
He had just jumped back into the street, when he heard a frustrated growl behind the brick wall lining the sidewalk. This was followed by a rather odd shout.  
  
"DAMN YOU RANMA!!! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!!"  
  
Ranma frowned at this. "Is not!" He retorted to the wall.  
  
There was the sound of someone stumbling, followed by the sound of a heavy weight hitting solid concrete face-first.  
  
Feeling that the situation had been rectified, Ranma continued walking on his way.  
  
*Boom!* He winced slightly at the sound of a stone wall blowing outward behind him.  
  
He sighed and turned around, to see a boy about his age staring at him with a look of disbelief in his eyes.  
  
Ranma frowned. Didn't look like anyone he knew. "Hey, what's up?"  
  
Then the look of disbelief turned to one of absolute hatred. "RANMA!!! DIE!!!!"  
  
Ryoga launched himself forward, with both arms outstretched to rend his enemy to itty bitty pieces.  
  
*Moosh* Ranma planted his boot in the boy's face, stopping the charge with himself just out of reach. "Um, out of curiosity, who are you and why do you want to kill me?"  
  
A muffled growl came from behind the sole of his shoe, and Ryoga stepped back. After rubbing his face for a moment, the lost boy focused his hateful eyes at the cause of all his suffering.  
  
"You dare to act as if you don't even remember me?! The man whose life you ruined forever!!" Ryoga sneered at his foe, then took his umbrella from his pack.  
  
Ranma cupped his hand over his chin, considering. "A man whose life I ruined forever... nope, doesn't ring a bell. Can I have another hint?"  
  
"I will destroy you!!" Ryoga screamed, and thrust his umbrella forward. Ranma jumped back, declining to go to the offensive until he had at least figured out who this guy was.  
  
"Well, can you at least tell me what I did to you?"  
  
Ryoga trembled in rage as Ranma continued staring at him curiously. How dare he take handle his death so calmly?  
  
"My name is Ryoga Hibiki!!" the lost boy shouted, "And because of you Ranma, I have seen HELL!!!"  
  
Ranma jumped aside as Ryoga's umbrella created a small crater in the sidewalk. "Ryoga Hibiki! Now I remember you! You were in my class when I was six! How have ya been man?"  
  
A vein popped out on Ryoga's head. "I JUST TOLD YOU!!!!"  
  
Ranma blinked. "Oh. Hell. Right. So, uh... why's that my fault?"  
  
Ryoga growled, and then tore a few bandannas from his forehead. Oddly enough, he was still wearing a bandanna even as he held three more in his hand. "You think that mere words can convey the depth of my suffering?!?!" He started twirling the bandannas in an arc over his head.  
  
Ranma sighed. "This isn't about the bread, isn't it? Or maybe the duel? I waited for FOUR days for you to show, and then I won fair and square!"  
  
"SHUT UP!!!" Ryoga launched his bandannas, and Ranma frowned as they converged on him, cutting deep gouges into the terrain around them. "What I've endured because of you is far worse than you could possibly imagine! I'm going to bury you!!"  
  
Ranma grinned suddenly, then slammed his hand onto the ground, his palm landing flat against the concrete. A purple explosion erupted from the ground before him, lancing upwards into the air before slowly settling and fading back into the ground. Two of the bandannas landed as little more than black ash, while the third was forced away from the force of the explosion and imbedded itself in a brick wall.  
  
Ranma lifted his hand and frowned at it. "Hmmm... not quite right. That's gonna need some revision. And a name. Hey Ryoga, how does 'Hellfire Explosion' sound to you?" Ryoga declined to reply, and Ranma blocked his punch with his wrist, then countered with a sweep that Ryoga flipped over.  
  
"Stop playing around and fight!" Ryoga grinned as his next punch hit home on Ranma's shoulder, but was then hit with an elbow jab that stunned him for a moment.  
  
"Shikyo Hana!" The fire punch sent Ryoga spiraling backwards, trailing violet flame from his travel-worn clothes until he impacted a telephone pole.  
  
Ranma shrugged his shoulder irritably. Ryoga sure packed a punch, even if his defense still sucked. "Look, I'd love to fight, but I've got this other challenge right now. After I trounce Kuno, then I can beat you up."  
  
Ryoga snorted. "Well I hope this 'Kuno' wasn't a friend of yours, because the next time he'll see you, it'll be at your funeral!!" Ryoga slashed with his umbrella, and Ranma leapt up and rebounded off his head, putting all of his weight onto his kicking foot. Ryoga staggered, then glared as Ranma jumped off a rooftop and into a mass of trees that marked the boundaries of the public park.  
  
Ryoga too jumped up and dove into the mass of trees. Ranma would not escape him!  
  
  
  
Ranma was resting in front of the park fountain, trying to recall where in the park Kuno was waiting for him.  
  
He gave a mental sigh as he side-stepped the hurled umbrella. "Well Ryoga, either your sense of direction has improved or you got lucky."  
  
Ryoga stepped into the clearing and snarled at him. "Keep it up Yagami! Now you die!!"  
  
Ranma shook his head. "Ryoga, look, I'm really getting tired of this. I've gotta fight Kuno now, so take a number all right? You can extract vengeance or kill me or whatever later. Now do what you do best and get lost."  
  
Ryoga seemed to glow as anger overtook him, and he stepped forward with his hands open in front of him as if to grab Ranma's throat and strangle him. Then, oddly enough, his eyes widened and he jumped back.  
  
Ranma started as a wave of cold water overtook him. Groaning as she felt the change occur, she turned around to see Ryoga's umbrella twirling away from the wreckage of the park fountain.  
  
"Great, just frickin' great." Ranma looked down at herself, then turned toward Ryoga.  
  
To her surprise, he was sneering at her, rather than looking totally shocked that she was now a woman.  
  
"So it's true!! You are that girl!! You will pay Ranma!!"  
  
She blinked in confusion. "You... you knew about my curse? How?"  
  
Ryoga swung at her, and Ranma ducked and returned with a series of kicks to Ryoga's stomach. The lost boy staggered backwards, and Ranma hit him hard with a roundhouse to his jaw before backing off and sticking her hands in her pockets. "Slow as ever, eh Ryoga?"  
  
Ryoga grinned, oddly enough, though his eye twitched and he was feeling his jaw. "Heh. You aren't as strong as before. I thought so."  
  
Ranma blinked. "What do you mean? Last time we fought I was SIX, and I'm way stronger now! Even as a girl!"  
  
Ryoga simply cocked back a fist and attacked. "DIE!!!"  
  
Ranma crouched and then launched herself forward in a shoulder charge. Ryoga grunted at the impact, but his strength and weight advantage kept him from moving more than a couple of inches from Ranma's blow. Ryoga's arms encircled the petite redhead, and Ryoga grabbed onto each of Ranma's shoulders.  
  
As the lost boy was grinning in anticipation of literally tearing his rival apart, Ranma was grinning too. She ducked, and Ryoga found himself holding onto the shoulders of an empty black jacket as Ranma slipped easily from its confines. Ranma grabbed onto the collar of her jacket with one hand, then swept the other in an upward arc as she jumped herself.  
  
"Oni Yaki!" Ribbons of purple fire flooded from the ground and twirled around Ranma, paying no heed to the boy that they casually blasted away.  
  
Ryoga hit the ground hard, then groaned as he forced himself up. Even if he had trained to be ridiculously tough, Ranma's hits had taken their toll. Even the ones he made as a girl. But that was still almost negligable compared to the strange power that Ranma wielded. Burns were burns, after all, and having the constitution of a rhino on steroids could only help one so far. For the first time, Ryoga considered the possibility that he might lose. He didn't like that thought at all.  
  
Muttering a curse, Ryoga stumbled away as Ranma casually slipped her jacket back on. The lost boy grabbed a handful of his bandannas, and started twirling them around in his hand.  
  
"Take this!" Ryoga let the projectiles fly.  
  
"No, YOU take THIS!" Ranma smirked, then her body was encompassed by a sudden flash of light as she crossed her arms above her head. "Ya Otome!!"  
  
The bandannas passed overhead harmlessly as Ranma ducked low to the ground, and her body blurred into a series of afterimages as she seemed to slide across the ground at high speed toward Ryoga.  
  
'Crap,' was Ryoga's last thought before his world exploded into pain.  
  
*Pow* *Wham* *Pow* *Thwack* *Poom* *Smash* *Toom* Ranma removed her fist from Ryoga's gut, and her hands snapped together onto the lost boy's collar.  
  
*Slam!* Ryoga was thrown against the ground hard, and Ranma leaned over him and pressed her palms against his chest.  
  
*Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!* *BLAM!!!* Ryoga bounced away due to the force of the explosion, and stopped to lay in a smoldering heap next to a tree.  
  
  
  
Ranma smirked at her handiwork even as she shook her hands in the air to wave off all the smoke coming from them. Then she frowned.  
  
'I really need to come up with a finishing pose or something,' she thought, 'nothing cliche, or really complex... the fight just doesn't seem to conclude without one, really.'  
  
"Hold Yagami! At last you show your cowardly self! Now face your punishment, heathen!"  
  
Ranma's eye twitched, and she slowly turned around.  
  
Tatewaki had seen a flash of purple earlier, and immediately connected it to the unnatural sorcery of the fiend Ranma. Once he had reached the clearing, he had dismissed the charred body on the ground in favor of the figure in the telltale moon-embroidered jacket. The cowardly sorcerer had of course neglected to appear at the appointed time, no doubt fearing his inevitable defeat, but now that the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High had found him, justice will be administered at last!  
  
Wait a minute. Since when did Ranma have red hair?  
  
Ranma finished turning around, and suppressed a sigh of annoyance as Kuno's eyes widened at what could be seen clearly with Ranma's jacket open.  
  
"You... you are not Ranma!"  
  
Ranma gave him a flat stare, and then shrugged as she removed her metal cup from her jacket. "Yeah, whatever." She walked towards the fountain's remains to collect some water for heating. If Kuno thought that his girl half was a different person, let him.  
  
Of course, Ranma was understandably surprised when the kendoist stepped in front of her, blocking her way to the fountain.  
  
"You must forgive this case of mistaken identity, miss. It was simply your mode of dress, which is so peculiar and yet very similar to that of the wretch I seek. Do understand that it is entirely my fault. I myself shudder to think how I could have confused such a terrible, lowly cretin with yourself."  
  
Ranma growled, and planted her foot in Kuno's face. "Who you calling a cretin, jerk?!"  
  
Kuno pulled his face from Ranma's boot. "Why, none but the foul thug that I had somehow taken your lovely visage for!"  
  
Ranma blinked. Lovely?  
  
"It is my most grievious error to have mistaken such robust beauty and grace for the fool Yagami. Please accept my most humble apologies." Kuno bowed deeply.  
  
Ranma was now on full mental alert. This guy was FLIRTING with her!  
  
Kuno spared a glance at the metal cup that the redhead was holding, and then looked toward the busted up fountain, still shooting water into the air and covering the entire clearing with a light mist.  
  
"Ah, but I cannot allow a lady such as yourself to drink so crudely! It would be ill fitting of me to allow such a thing!" With a very satisfied air, Kuno snatched away Ranma's metal cup and replaced it with a plastic bottle of water.  
  
She stared at it, nonplussed. If she heated this, the plastic would melt and all the water would fall out. What good was it?  
  
*Bonk* Kuno blinked as the bottle bounced off his head.  
  
"Look moron, just give me back my cup and I'll be on my way. Ranma will be here soon, and then you can get your little challenge over with." Ranma growled as the kendoist smirked at her and squared his shoulders.  
  
"Ha! You needn't worry about the fool Yagami. No doubt he has fled in fear of prowess. My skill in battle is legendary, and a lowly fool like Yagami will be crushed before my might like the weak coward he is!" Kuno laughed and thrust a fist in the air.  
  
Ranma shook slightly, then jammed her own fist into Kuno's stomach, doubling him over.  
  
"You insult me... er, him again, and I'm gonna beat you so bad that your grandkids will feel it!" Ranma retracted her fist, then glared as Kuno straightened painfully.  
  
"Why do you defend that coward Yagami?" Kuno blinked at her curiously as Ranma stared at him disgustedly. "Can it be that he holds some power over you? Not that it's below one such as him. Why, the fool accepts a challenge, and then flees! That man is no man! He is not a man at all!!"  
  
*WHAM!!* Ranma took her foot off of the back of Kuno's head, then stared down at where the kendoist's face was planted in the dirt, her eye twitching. "I warned you..."  
  
*Tha-WHACK!!* *Crunch* *Smash!* There was a resounding creaking noise as a tree slowly collapsed, its roots unable to hold against the force that was applied against it.  
  
Ranma stalked off to the geyser of water, her recovered metal cup in hand.  
  
  
  
Back near the blast site, and currently resting flat atop the trunk of a fallen tree, for the good of his abused spinal column, Kuno contemplated the woman who had just beaten him quite severely.  
  
'She is formidable. As skilled as Akane Tendo. No! More skilled!' Kuno thought such a thing was impossible. Surely the beautious Akane Tendo was the pinnacle of feminine perfection, none could surpass his fierce tigress!  
  
And yet, there was one who had, in beauty, grace, power, and skill. Surely he was truly blessed to have such a wondrous angel do him grievous bodily harm!  
  
'I shall find this pigtailed girl, and I shall date with her! Truly, this can only be fate, written in the stars above!'  
  
Kuno's mental rant was cut short by the male Ranma Yagami's unwanted visage leaning over his line of sight.  
  
"So you come hither at last, coward! Now I will deliver your proper punishment!" As soon as he could move, anyway. Kuno struggled for a moment, and soon he was on his feet, and in rather intense pain, as his spine protested heartily to the slightest movement.  
  
Seeing Kuno lock up and bite his tongue, Ranma shook his head and poked the older boy in the chest. Kuno fell right back down, his back hitting the ground perfectly flat, straight as a steel rod.  
  
Ranma shrugged his hands into his pockets. "Kuno, get a clue. You've already taken enough of a beating for one day, so I'll make this quick." Kuno opened his mouth, and Ranma's hand flashed out, stuffing it with one of Ryoga's bandannas that he had found embedded in a tree.  
  
The pigtailed boy smirked as Kuno's speech was muffled to soft incoherence. "Good. Now. First off, there's no way you're going to beat me, at least not without some kind of power-up or serious training. So stop wasting my time with these stupid challenges."  
  
Ranma's victorious expression melted into a glare. "Second, you remember that girl that was here a second ago? The redhead?" Kuno's accusatory look told him the answer. "Stay away from her if you know what's good for you. Believe me when I say she 'AINT interested. Got it?"  
  
Kuno mumbled something else, which was thankfully muted by the bandanna.  
  
Ranma nodded in satisfaction as he left, stepping on top of a forgotten Ryoga in his passage. "All right then. See ya around, loser."  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
"Ah, right on time Yagami." Nabiki smiled at Ranma as he landed next to the table she was sitting at and seated himself. Then she frowned as he muttered something under his breath, apparently ignoring her.  
  
"Something wrong? No trouble with Kuno, I hope." Nabiki poked him to get his attention, and he gave a start as he noticed her for the first time. Ranma didn't look like he had gotten hurt, and his clothes were completely intact, so it didn't make sense that Kuno had managed to pull through and win.  
  
"Huh? Kuno? Uh..." Ranma scratched his head, wondering if he should tell Nabiki about the challenge, and what it brought about. Eventually he sighed, and spilled the whole story.  
  
"Well, ya see, when I got to the park I was in girl form, and I was about to get some water to heat up, when he suddenly found me, and then..."  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Ranma reflected that he really should have just kept his big mouth shut.  
  
"Ha ha ha ha ha ha!! I can't believe it! Ha ha ha!! That is so rich!!" Nabiki tried to stop herself but failed, collapsing into another fit of laughter, rocking her chair back and forth.  
  
Oh yes, definitely should have just kept quiet.  
  
'One of these days I'm going to learn when to not open my mouth, I swear,' Ranma thought miserably as Nabiki's heaving chuckles died down.  
  
"I'm *snort* sorry Ranma! But it's SO funny! Imagine, Kuno hitting on you like that! And he has NO idea you're a guy!" Nabiki rolled around in her chair, giggling like a madwoman.  
  
"Yeah. It's a scream. Hardy har har." Ranma deadpanned, then waved to a waiter.  
  
"Are you ready?"  
  
Nabiki was still fighting to get enough air into her lungs, so Ranma went ahead and ordered.  
  
By the time he had finished, Nabiki had regained enough control to smile politely. She ordered her food, and the waiter bowed and left.  
  
Ranma and Nabiki stared at each other for a moment, and that moment seemed to stretch into minutes as their eyes met...  
  
And then Nabiki snorted and started chuckling again. Ranma let his face fall flat on the table and groaned.  
  
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. You don't have to be such a grouch about it." Nabiki smirked at him.  
  
Ranma glared. "How would YOU like it if he were chasing after YOU?!"  
  
Nabiki's smirk grew, and she was about to point out that she was a real girl, when she stopped and thought about the question.  
  
"Good point. I apologize." Nabiki's expression was completely sober. That WAS a revolting thought.  
  
Ranma looked uncomfortable for a moment, then leaned forward. "So... uh... you have any hobbies or anything?"  
  
Nabiki smiled. "Oh, I do a little bit of everything. Computers, occasionally I play some tennis or soccer, read, shop..." she grinned at him, "though my favorite past time is making a profit."  
  
Ranma blinked. That was a rather odd hobby, if nothing else.  
  
"So how about you?" Nabiki leaned back in her chair and watched.  
  
Ranma shrugged. "Well, there's my martial arts of course, and I also... uh... well... sometimes I......" Ranma scratched the back of his head and tugged at the collar of his jacket. "Well... I mean, I do other things besides martial arts, I'm just not, uh... I... I just can't think of any right now." Ranma blushed a bit.  
  
Nabiki's eyes squeezed shut, and she giggled.  
  
Ranma's hands clenched into fists. "It's not that funny!! If Kuno ever tries that kind of thing again I'll stuff him in a trash bin!!"  
  
Nabiki chuckled lightly. "It's not that, Ranma. You just look so cute when you stutter like that." She smiled, and that smile grew as she watched Ranma redden.  
  
He chuckled suddenly and deliberately. "Yeah, well, uh... you're pretty cute too!"  
  
She snickered, and Ranma face fell. "I'm making a fool of myself, aren't I?"  
  
Nabiki grinned. "Yes." Ranma's expression fell further. She giggled again. "Oh relax, would you? Hmmmm... small talk isn't exactly your strong point, is it?"  
  
Ranma blushed some more and tugged on his pigtail self-consciously. "Ah... no. I guess it's not. Sorry."  
  
Nabiki couldn't help but smirk. He just looked so adorable when he was vulnerable like this. She more preferred confidence in a partner, but it would be fun to have someone who she could knock off-balance when she felt the whim. Besides, Ranma had shown plenty of confidence before.  
  
"Well then, why don't you tell me about your training?" She had SOME interest in the martial arts, as she had trained a bit under Soun before her mother had died. Besides, it didn't look like Ranma would be able to discuss much more than that.  
  
Ranma took up the discussion with a strange bit of determination, and Nabiki found herself wincing in sympathy at some of the rougher training exercises. Then their food came, and Ranma was far too occupied to bother with any type of conversation.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Nabiki was smiling in genuine enjoyment as she walked out of the theatre with Ranma on her arm. The evening had been surprisingly enjoyable once Ranma had finally relaxed a bit, and he was laughing as they walked home arm in arm.  
  
He had turned out to be surprisingly timid when it came to affection, and she found a certain pleasure in teasing him with suggestive gestures and such. He really was cute when he was squirming like that.  
  
All this, and she got paid too!  
  
However, there was something that had been bothering her since before dinner.  
  
"Ranma, were you expecting me to ask you out?" The question was perfectly timed, and asked in a perfectly casual tone of voice. Ranma tripped on nothing, and barely managed to catch himself before he fell flat on the pavement.  
  
"Wha-Wha-What? Er... what makes you think that?" Ranma bigsweated as Nabiki raised an eyebrow. Nabiki almost smirked. Ranma was so easy to read.  
  
After a moment of fidgeting under the mercenary Tendo's stare, Ranma hung his head.  
  
"Well... I kind of heard the whole thing. I was right outside the window when Pop was talking to you. I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I heard my mom's name, so I stopped to listen." Ranma winced at her expressionless look. "Am I in trouble?"  
  
Nabiki suddenly smiled, amused. "No, no." Her smiled slipped. "You don't mind?"  
  
Ranma blinked. "Mind what?"  
  
She chuckled. "That your dad paid me to act as your girlfriend."  
  
Ranma scratched his head. "Why should I mind? Dad paid for it, and he's just trying to see mom again." Ranma looked very uncomfortable suddenly. "Uh... actually, I kinda wanted to thank you for doing this for us. I mean, pretending to be my girlfriend and all."  
  
Nabiki smirked at him. "You're welcome. Though it probably isn't as hard for me as you think." She continued walking along the road as Ranma slipped into silence, contemplating her response.  
  
"However..." Ranma's head jerked up, and he blinked at Nabiki as she continued.  
  
"As long as I'm doing this, maybe you could shed some light on something for me." Nabiki smirked. She wasn't going to pry until later, but as long as he felt indebted to her...  
  
Ranma blinked again.  
  
"You see... you mentioned something earlier... you said there was something about you even more dangerous than your flame..." Nabiki watched with detached interest as Ranma's entire body seemed to lock up, and he drew his coat tighter to himself, as if he was trying to disappear inside of it.  
  
"There was also that bit about your curse. Was there something after that that you maybe... neglected to mention?" Nabiki noted that Ranma shivered suddenly, and knew that she had hit paydirt. It was strange, really. How could Iori be so expressionless and hard, yet bear a son who showed his emotions like a neon sign?  
  
Ranma walked in silence for a long time. "I really don't want to talk about it," he stated softly, and suddenly. The cheerful, nervous persona was gone, now replaced by a pleading voice of dispair and loss. Nabiki frowned, and stopped walking.  
  
'Oh no you don't, you're not going to get out of this so easily.' Nabiki crossed her arms as Ranma started to slow. "What, you don't trust me?"  
  
Ranma winced. "Well, yeah, I trust you, but... it's just not the sort of thing I just tell people."  
  
Nabiki wasn't convinced. "If you trust me, then you can tell me. I think you'll find it hard to hold together a relationship without trust." Nabiki put just the perfect amount of warning into her voice.  
  
Ranma tensed again, then sighed. "All right... it goes like this. You see... after I got cursed, I really thought that I was going to live the rest of my life as a girl, and, well, I sort of lost it."  
  
Nabiki blinked. "Lost it? This is the horrible secret? I can't blame you for being upset, but-" Ranma stopped her with a look.  
  
"I'm not finished yet. As the Amazons put it-we were training around their territory when it happened-I went berserk. But something happened to me. I just went crazy."  
  
Ranma sighed. "I totally lost control, and slipped into a different state of mind, called the 'riot of the blood'. I can't remember what I did when I was in that state, but from what I was told, and what I saw afterwards..."  
  
Ranma shuddered. "Entire stretches of forest had been burned to ash. Almost everybody who had tried to stop me had been hurt. Some seriously, others less so. Nobody had been killed. Luckily."  
  
Ranma heaved another sigh. "A good part of the Amazon village had been totaled from when they tried to stop me. Apparently, it took three of the Amazon elders, who're the most powerful fighters in the village, to finally take me out. They were discussing how they should execute me and how soon when Pop arrived to explain everything." Ranma turned away from Nabiki. "Not that I can blame them," he added bitterly.  
  
Nabiki stared at him. "So... how did you do all this? What's this 'riot of the blood' thing?"  
  
Ranma turned back toward her. "It's a really long story. The short version is that my ancestors made a pact with a powerful clan of warriors a long time ago, and gained the blood and power of the legendary Orochi. That's the source of our power." Ranma flexed his hand, and a purple ember lighted in demonstration.  
  
"That's not all though. While we drew strength from Orochi, Orochi drew life from us. Like I said, this stopped when my Pop and some other guy killed a resurrected Orochi a while ago, but something happened......"  
  
Ranma was silent for a long moment, until Nabiki tugged on his jacket, urging him to continue. He looked at her for a moment uncertainly.  
  
"Pop says that it happened to him before. He said that before he fought Orochi, when he got really angry, he would sometimes fly into a rage, and then he'd wake up with blank spots in his memory. When he fought Orochi, he gave in fully to the riot of the blood, like I did. The Orochi state brings out our true power, but we totally lose control. Pop said that we act sort of zombie-like, but tear into anything around us. We're stronger, faster, and pain doesn't seem to slow us down at all."  
  
Ranma frowned suddenly. "But that's the odd thing. Pop said that we shouldn't be able to experience the riot of the blood since Orochi is dead, but I did, and there was some other time where he almost gave into it before. Not only that, but he said that I shouldn't have been anywhere near as powerful as I was." Ranma shook his head. "I just don't know what's going on."  
  
Nabiki frowned. "So you don't remember anything when you were like this?"  
  
Ranma scratched his head. "Well, bits and pieces. Occasionally, when I was looking at something I did, I'd suddenly get a flash of memory of me doing it. Sometimes a scene comes to me in my dreams, and those tend to stand out when I wake up." Ranma shrugged.  
  
Nabiki nodded absently. "How dangerous is it?"  
  
Ranma flinched. "Really dangerous."  
  
Nabiki looked at him, then smiled slightly. "Oh, come on, don't be so hard on yourself. Nobody was permanently hurt, right?"  
  
Ranma's face darkened. "I said that no one was killed. Some of the Amazons that got in my way were still in pretty bad shape when we left."  
  
Nabiki bit her lip. "Oh. I... see..."  
  
Ranma turned away from her, and stared at the sunset as the neighborhood around them darkened. "It happens... with extreme emotion, I think. Bad emotions. With me, I just felt so depressed and helpless. With Pop, he was apparently just really angry."  
  
Nabiki walked along next to him as he went silent, apparently lost in thought.  
  
"Well, that's not so bad."  
  
Ranma turned to her and growled, surprising her.  
  
"Not so bad?! I could've killed someone! I almost did! I lost control! Don't you get it? I'm a monster!!"  
  
Nabiki just shrugged. "Not much of a monster, if you ask me." Ranma got a bewildered look on his face, and stopped to watch as Nabiki continued walking toward the dojo. "Thanks for sharing! And thanks for dinner! I really had a good time!" She winked at him for a moment then turned away before reaching the gates of the Tendo home and entering.  
  
  
  
Ranma stared after her for a moment more, then turned away. He had some thinking to do.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Nabiki looked up and blinked as Kuno stared down at her, a determined, yet reluctant expression marring his usual imperious manner.  
  
She sat up straight in her desk. "Something the matter, Kuno-baby?" As a matter of fact, something was obviously the matter with him. He had been grunting with every movement ever since class had started, and he was holding his back perfectly straight, as though his spine had been replaced by a steel pole.  
  
Kuno's lip twitched. "It has recently come to my attention that you associate with the fiend Ranma Yagami in... intimate... matters."  
  
Nabiki stared up at him. "We went on one date. Now did you want something, or did you just want to ask me about my love life?"  
  
Kuno snorted. "While I was of the opinion that you had higher tastes, Nabiki Tendo, it is indeed fortunate, for your help may be instrumental in bringing about the foul sorceror's downfall."  
  
Nabiki blinked at him. "Kuno-baby... you're asking me for help?" She smirked suddenly. "So the big, bad, Blue Thunder needs help to vanquish evil, huh? I never thought you had it in you to be so humble, Kuno!"  
  
Kuno jerked forward angrily, and then his teeth clenched as his backbone protested, and his torso snapped ramrod straight again. After the jolts of pain passed, he stared down at Nabiki arrogantly.  
  
"The fiend refuses to fight honorably, and continues to hide behind black sorcery! If he will not fight me with honor, then I am forced to strike at his weak spot!" Kuno coughed. "Also, this was done to me not by the fool Yagami, but by the most lovely vision of fiery-haired beauty that I encountered while waiting for the scoundrel to appear and accept his punishment!"  
  
He started to look up to the heavens, but a sudden jolt through his back kept his neck straight. "Ah! The wonderous pigtailed girl! To think that such a beautific flower of feminine purity should be fouled by the taint of the evil Ranma!"  
  
Nabiki was staring at him blandly now, her arms crossed over her chest. "Come again?"  
  
Kuno let a stream of overdramatic tears wash down his face. "It is true! The dishonorable fiend himself has forbidden me to see my love! No doubt he holds her by force; and for that he must be brought to his knees by any means necessary!"  
  
Nabiki thought about bringing up Akane at this point, but decided against it; Kuno's mental capacity was obviously already stretched to the limit if he was actually admitting that he couldn't beat Ranma on his own, and she didn't want to give the kendoist a stroke or anything.  
  
"So... you mentioned striking at Ranma's weak point. How are you going to do that?" Nabiki smirked slightly. 'As if I don't already know.'  
  
Kuno nodded slightly, making sure not to aggravate his neck. "This is where you come in, Nabiki Tendo. I have need to know the fiend's weak point, and as you are a reliable source of information, no matter your reputation for trickery, I thought you might have such information for sale."  
  
Nabiki's eyes flashed back and forth quickly enough so that Kuno didn't notice. There were several students eavesdropping; it could only be expected, as Ranma was currently the big news at Furinkan, and much of that news involved his connections to Kuno and herself.  
  
"So you think I'm going to help you beat my boyfriend?" Nabiki shot him a look.  
  
Kuno blinked. "So, you too have fallen for his trickery. And the fact that he holds the pigtailed girl in his vile grasp does not warrant your betrayal of his evil ways?"  
  
"No, not really," Nabiki said dryly.  
  
Kuno snorted. "Very well."  
  
*Slap* A stack of notes fell onto Nabiki's desk.  
  
"Is 2,000 enough?"  
  
Nabiki stared impassively at the money. People were definitely watching now. Kuno was SUCH an idiot.  
  
"You know Kuno, I'm really quite insulted that you think so little of me. Did you really think that I'd sell out someone that close to me?"  
  
Kuno looked confused for a moment, but then a light of understanding came into his eyes. "Ah! Of course! Name your price then!"  
  
Nabiki's expression got a tad colder, and Kuno flinched. "Look, Kuno-baby, if you insist on bothering me like this, then meet me at the usual place AFTER school." She shot him a contemptuous glare, and several students that were eavesdropping decided that nothing important was going on and found things to do elsewhere. "Oh, and before you meet me, go see Dr. Tofu, all right? He can fix your back for you."  
  
The mercenary Tendo stood up as the bell rang, and leaned in towards Kuno slightly as she passed him.  
  
"And you'd BETTER bring more than a measly 2,000 yen." Making sure that no one had overheard, Nabiki passed into the hall, walking among the other student to the next class.  
  
  
  
*Whump*  
  
A sudden dull noise got Nabiki's attention, and she looked out the window with several other students to see Ranma leap out of the school building and onto a tree branch.  
  
"Ranma you jerk! Get back here!" There was no need for Nabiki to see who spoke; the voice and tone were all too familiar to her.  
  
"So you can hit me again? Fat chance!" Ranma stood up on the tree branch. "If you're such a great martial artist, come out here and get me!"  
  
There was a scream of frustration, and Nabiki shook her head as Ranma jumped to the window of his next class, then moved on through the hallway.  
  
Then she stopped, and frowned at the spot where Ranma had been a moment before. Several students gave her curious glances as they passed by, but none had the guts to bother her.  
  
Eventually she seemed to reach a decision, and nodded her head once before rushing off to her next class.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Nabiki smirked mentally as she watched Kuno squirm in his seat, and sighed dramatically as she savored the spoonful of chocolate fudge for an unnecessarily long time. Kuno twitched at the sight. His patience had been drawn out far beyond its limits, but this was Nabiki Tendo; you either waited, or you went home.  
  
Eventually torturing him by stalling wore itself out, and Nabiki polished off the "complementary" sundae.  
  
"So, you want-" the first line of her business pitch was unceremoniously cut short by an anguished cry to the heavens.  
  
  
  
"Where on Earth am I now?!"  
  
Nabiki looked behind her, irritated, to see some guy with a bandanna and traveling backpack come out of the door to the freezer near the back of the ice cream shop.  
  
The manager looked at him, bewildered. "How... how did you get in there? Who are you?"  
  
Ryoga stared at him. "You speak Japanese? Then I'm not in Siberia after all!" Ryoga thrust a victorious fist upwards. Then he turned toward the manager of the shop. "So... where in Japan am I?"  
  
The manager stared at him. "Look, either take a seat or get out of my store, but either way, stay out of the back! Employees only!" Ryoga allowed the older man to shove him toward the booths at the other end of the shop, figuring that this way, he at least didn't have to worry about ending up back in the vast maze somehow contained within the 6' by 8' freezer.  
  
  
  
Nabiki shook her head, annoyed at the interruption, and unwilling to work out how bizarre it was. She turned back to Kuno, ignoring the fanged boy, who took a seat in the booth behind her, not really having anything better to do.  
  
"As I was saying," she began dryly, "you want to know Ranma's weakness, right? Well, I'm not going to sell him out just like that."  
  
Kuno nodded, glad that he had taken Nabiki's advice and seen her family chiropractor. He had never before been able to fully appreciate the simple flexibility of the human body. "Yes. Name your price! Any price to see Ranma Yagami brought to his knees!"  
  
Nabiki rolled her eyes. "Doesn't work that way. How much is this information worth to you?"  
  
Kuno twitched, then slammed a stack of bills onto the table.  
  
Nabiki raised an eyebrow.  
  
"15,000 yen." Kuno frowned at her. "Keep in mind, Nabiki Tendo, that I have other resources at my disposal. Yagami will know defeat, it is simply a matter of time."  
  
Nabiki yawned. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. I want twice that."  
  
Kuno fell down. Nabiki cocked her head to one side as the kendoist stood up, sputtering angrily. "Why don't YOU keep in mind, Kuno, that I'm selling information about someone rather close to me. If you want to beat Ranma with money instead of power, don't expect it to be cheap." She smirked as Kuno fumed silently. He stared down at her in frustration for a moment, before sitting back down and shelling out another wad of notes onto the table.  
  
Nabiki looked at the money with detached interest. "Hmmm... okay, here's the deal. Ranma's only weak point, as far as I know, is that sometimes he can't control himself."  
  
Kuno leaned forward. "What do you mean?"  
  
Nabiki leaned back. "What I mean is, if you get him excited enough, he tends to lose control of himself. I guess he'd be easier to defeat then." She smirked. Kuno was falling for it, hook, line, and sinker.  
  
He frowned at her. "Excited?"  
  
Nabiki nodded. "Yeah. In a bad way, I mean. If you get him angry enough, or depressed enough, that sort of thing. Then his rational mind kinds of shuts down, and he'll be easy to beat."  
  
Kuno nodded, and rubbed his chin in interest. "I see. How might I accomplish this?"  
  
Nabiki shrugged. "Got me. Try making fun of his masculinity or something. I told you what his weak point is, my end of the deal is done." Nabiki gathered the money into her purse, then got up and left the shop, smiling all the while.  
  
Kuno would challenge Ranma, make him mad, and then get flattened. She'd seen what had happened when Akane made fun of his curse; if Kuno tried the same thing after challenging Ranma to a fight, the Blue Blunder would be lucky if he didn't come out with third-degree burns. Even on the off- chance that Kuno actually managed to trigger this "riot of the blood" thing, it couldn't possibly as horrible as Ranma described. Iori had said so himself.  
  
  
  
Kuno stared down at the parlor table in contemplation. Ranma's weak point wasn't anything like he'd expected. A certain point of his body susceptible to attack perhaps, or maybe a phobia of some sort. But to simply hear that he loses control when he gets angry... well, he was already out 30,000 yen, and the evil fiend wouldn't defeat himself.  
  
He had just gotten up and turned around, when he came face to face with the young man who had been wandering about in the back of the shop earlier. The youth was now staring at him hopefully, with an odd, determined glint in his eyes.  
  
"I... I couldn't help overhearing your conversation. You want to beat Ranma?" Ryoga had only caught bits and pieces of the conversation, but he definitely knew that this guy wanted to see Ranma beaten, and that he had also purchased knowledge of Ranma's weakness.  
  
Kuno blinked. "Though it is of no concern of yours, yes, I will soon see the fool Yagami fall before me. Why do you wish to know?"  
  
Ryoga nodded. "My name is Ryoga Hibiki. Maybe I can help."  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Ranma leapt over the roof of another restaurant as a cry of incoherent rage erupted from behind him, and ducked down to other side as a poor, innocent mail box went flying overhead, missing its target by a good ten meters. Another incoherent cry, this one composed mostly of frustration, followed the object.  
  
Ranma shook his head and started walking down the new street.  
  
"Sheesh, what's she getting so mad for? I was just telling her the truth. She DOES lose focus when she gets angry. She's the one who started it, anyway." He continued muttering to himself as he walked down the street, not really knowing where he was going, or particularly caring.  
  
This proved to be a problem once he stopped, and picked up a mild case of "Ryoga syndrome". Undaunted, he observed his surroundings, and got directions from a man tending a sushi stand.  
  
  
  
"All right, I turn left here... ah! Here's the street! Now I just-"  
  
"RANMA!!! PREPARE TO DIE!!!"  
  
Ranma stumbled forward at the cry, then jumped away as several bandannas dug into the concrete where he had been moments before.  
  
Sighing in annoyance, Ranma turned to see the fanged lost boy leaping down from a wall, umbrella in hand.  
  
"Geez Ryoga, you're still around? What's your problem, anyway?!"  
  
Ryoga growled and rushed forward, jabbing with his umbrella. "Shut up and die!"  
  
Ranma blocked the strike, then backflipped upwards as a different weapon slashed through where his back had been.  
  
"Know this, Yagami, that today you face defeat! Your evil trickery may have brought you victory before, but now the virtuous shall band forth and punish you!"  
  
"Nice to see you too, Kuno," Ranma said dryly. "Fine, if you guys want to play two-on-one, then I'm game!"  
  
Ranma spread his legs apart slightly, and balled his hands into fists. "Well? Let's go!"  
  
"Hyah!" His opponents rushed forward together, and Ranma smirked.  
  
"Take this! Yami barai!!" Ranma tossed two blasts of purple onto the ground, which rocketed toward his opponents while digging a small trench in the ground.  
  
Ryoga jumped high, and evaded the blast while pointing his umbrella downward to spear into his foe. Kuno wasn't as lucky, and got clipped by the blast and knocked aside from the explosion.  
  
Ranma quickly shifted positions, and swept his arm up. "Oni yaki!" The purple fire streamed upwards from the ground as Ranma jumped up, and Ryoga was forced to open his umbrella and use it to shield himself from the flames.  
  
Ranma landed, and punched Ryoga in the shoulder before the lost boy could recover.  
  
Ryoga ignored it, and responded by jabbing his umbrella straight into Ranma's chest. Ranma took the blow straight on, and Ryoga grinned as Ranma grunted heavily and clenched his teeth in pain. The lost boy's success was short lived, however, as Ranma's arms rose up and grasped the umbrella pressed to his sternum, splintering the materials within his grip. Ryoga tried to pull his umbrella back, but was surprised to find that Ranma's hold didn't give way. Ryoga put more effort into it, and Ranma slid slightly across the ground.  
  
"HYARGH!!!" *BOOM!!!* The umbrella blew apart into splinters of bamboo and slivers of various heavy metals as the explosion of fire erupted from Ranma's hands, and Ryoga found himself flying backwards from both the force of the detonation, and his own efforts to take his weapon back.  
  
Ranma let out a breath of irritation, and then turned just in time to avoid the full brunt of the bokken swing. Ranma managed to dodge the next one completely, then planted a foot in Kuno's stomach before backhanding the kendoist away, and just managed to twist out of the way before a hail of razor-bandannas cut through where he had been moments before.  
  
'Shoot! I don't know if I can take both of them at once!' Any of his special techniques would leave him open to attack from behind, so he couldn't really let loose with his powers. Ranma decided that he'd take out Kuno first; he was the lesser threat, and would go down far more easily than the fanged lost boy.  
  
Ranma dodged two thrusts from Kuno, then back kicked him in the shoulder, knocking the kendoist to the side for a moment, but leaving himself open to Ryoga's hammer punch. Ranma took the hit full on in the back of his head, and rolled with the blow along the ground to gain some distance. He got up again a little ways away, and lauched two more fireballs, not bothering to shout the name of the attack.  
  
Kuno and Ryoga dodged to the side, but didn't attempt to attack, much to Ranma's surprise.  
  
Kuno smirked at him, and rested his bokken against his shoulder, only to wince and lower his weapon as pain lanced through the bruise that was forming there. "So, the coward Yagami cannot face his superiors in battle, as I expected! Instead he hides behind spells and trickery!"  
  
Ranma eye twitched. "Who's a coward?!"  
  
Ryoga smiled at him. "Feh. You really are no man. It's not surprising, really, with that body!"  
  
Kuno's smirk grew as Ranma's teeth clenched, even though the words did not make sense to him. For some reason, the dull-witted peon who had asked for his alliance insisted that the pigtailed girl and the fiend Yagami were one and the same. Of course, such a thing was impossible, and he truly pitied the poor fool for his delusions.  
  
Ryoga didn't let up. "Aw, did we hit a nerve? Are you gonna cry now? Just like the girl you are!!"  
  
"SHUT!!!" Ranma's fist suddenly blazed purple. "UP!!!!" Ranma slammed his hand on the ground, and an unusually large fireball rocketed toward Ryoga, who barely dived out of the way before the explosion of purple annihilated a large section of brick wall directly behind him.  
  
Kuno looked surprised, and vaguely disturbed, but he continued where Ryoga left off, ready to dodge if the need should arise. "Well, he certainly has the temperment of a woman." Seeing Ranma flinch, Kuno continued in a louder voice. "He's exactly the monster you described, Hibiki! Hardly even human!"  
  
This time, Ranma stumbled, almost falling down. "Wh-What?"  
  
"Oh! You don't remember?!" Ryoga snarled, "Well I do!! I remember what you did! I was there!! You're less than a monster!! You're just a worthless coward!!"  
  
Ranma shuddered. Ryoga was there? What was going on? "NO!!!" Ranma rocketed forward as his aura surrounded him. "Koto tsuki in!!" Ryoga only had time to attempt a block as Ranma grabbed onto his face and slammed the lost boy's head into the cement below.  
  
Ranma focused, in preparation for the deadlier part of the attack, when a direct hit from Kuno sent pain stabbing into his side. Ranma staggered away from Kuno, and managed to block his second slash, but Ryoga's foot came up and doubled him over, and Ryoga's uppercut sent the pigtailed boy sprawling away.  
  
Ranma groaned as he hit the ground, then spat up a little bit of blood before slowly getting up.  
  
Kuno laughed. "Ha ha ha! So the fiend at last samples the humility of defeat! You are not worthy to call yourself a man!!"  
  
Ranma growled, and started to move forward, when another jolt of pain triggered a convulsion throughout his body, and he leaned over and coughed up more blood.  
  
Ryoga rubbed the back of his head as he glared at Ranma. "Now, Yagami! I will pay you back for everything you ever did to me!! At last, I'll have justice for Jusenkyou!!"  
  
The shock hit Ranma like a hammer, and his pain seemed to fade away instantly. "Ju... Jusenkyou? What? Yo-You... were at Jusenkyou?"  
  
Ryoga snarled, and charged. "YES!!! I saw what you did! For my curse, and my humiliation, YOU WILL DIE!!!"  
  
Ranma didn't even attempt to block Ryoga's haymaker, and was sent flying into a brick wall that separated two different levels of ground. Cracks spider webbed outward from Ranma's body as it hit the wall, and several bricks shattered and burst outward from the force.  
  
Ranma groaned and pulled his body free of the impression in the stone, to see his foes staring contemptuously at him.  
  
Ryoga had a curse? He was at Jusenkyou? He knew. He knew it all. And Ryoga had been cursed too, probably because of something he had done while under the influence of his Orochi blood. No wonder Ryoga hated him.  
  
Ranma collapsed, and his entire body shuddered. Anger, pain, misery, and shame all warred within him. They were right. He was no man. He wasn't even a woman. He was a monster. It was so hot. His blood felt as if it was boiling.  
  
Ranma grit his teeth as his vision began to blur. 'NO!!! I will not lose control again! Focus! FOCUS!!! I won't lose!!'  
  
Ryoga and Kuno walked up slowly as Ranma fell to his knees, then got up again, with seemingly Herculean effort.  
  
Kuno would have none of that, and struck him over the head with his bokken. Ranma fell back against the ground, groaning. The kendoist grinned. "Well, this is not what I expected when Nabiki Tendo said that he would 'lose control', though I'd have to say my funds were well spent. Do you concede defeat, fiend?"  
  
Ryoga growled. "Concede nothing! I'm going to ground you to a pulp for what you did to me Ranma!!"  
  
Ranma's form was absolutely still for a moment. "Nabiki? Wh-What?"  
  
Ryoga sneered. "Aw, did your girlfriend tell on you? Boo hoo!" Ryoga punctuated the last comment by kicking Ranma in the ribs, and sending the young Yagami sprawling across the pavement, to come to rest at the base of a telephone pole, the crescent moon on his back facing the open sky.  
  
Kuno shrugged to himself. "Do not think too ill of Miss Tendo, villain. She may be mercenary and of low morals, but she brought about your downfall for the good of all."  
  
  
  
Ranma was beyond listening to Kuno by then. He felt his mind slowly crumble as anger and shame ate away at it.  
  
'Nabiki! She... she told them! She sold me out! I....... I trusted her...' Ranma's hands clenched into fists, and he felt the blood fill his mouth as his body seemed to burn up from the inside out. 'It doesn't matter.' The anger and shame were suddenly consumed by the flame that burned within him, that pulled at his mind. 'I can't hold out. They've won.' Ranma kept his eyes staring blankly at the concrete as his vision went, blurring to white. 'Now... they will pay.' The last of his will faltered, and his mind was consumed by the taint of the blood boiling within his veins.  
  
  
  
Ryoga and Kuno were currently contemplating what to do now that Ranma was helpless before them. Kuno wished Ranma to release his hold on the pigtailed girl, but the young Yagami seemed to be slipping into unconsciousness, which would make such a demand futile. Ryoga was currently wondering whether he should crush Ranma as he had planned. He had waited so long for revenge, and dreamed every night about the different ways he would end Ranma's misery, but now that the opportunity presented itself, he found himself hesitating. Could he actually take a human life? Well, he had fully intended to the whole time he was battling Ranma, but like this? When his foe was lying on the ground, helpless?  
  
Ryoga shook his head. This was all Ranma's fault! Even lying on the ground in a heap, he still managed to complicate his life!  
  
"Rrrrrgh..."  
  
Ryoga and Kuno both blinked, and looked over at Ranma's body, to see the pigtailed boy slowly pushing himself off the ground.  
  
"Fuh... fuh... fuh..."  
  
Ryoga frowned as Ranma slid one foot in front of him, then used that as leverage to lift his hands from the Earth. "Don't you know when to give up?!" Ryoga stepped forward.  
  
"Hooooooh..." Ranma exhaled noisily, and a pale mist poured from his mouth. Ryoga's body locked up at the sight.  
  
Kuno blinked. "What odd affliction is this? You are defeated Yagami! Surrender the pigtailed girl, and cease your petty sorcery!"  
  
Ranma turned to face them very slowly, his black hair obscuring his eyes.  
  
Then he looked up, and Ryoga's breath caught in his throat as he saw the empty yellow eyes of his rival.  
  
"Graugh! GRAAAAAAGH!!!" Ranma stepped forward, and the ground under him erupted in purple flame, showering concrete around him.  
  
Kuno growled and charged.  
  
Ryoga simply gaped. THAT'S what Nabiki meant by Ranma "losing control"? They had triggered his berserk state?  
  
"Oops," Ryoga muttered.  
  
Then all hell broke loose.  
  
  
  
*************************************************************************** *******  
  
End Chapter 3  
  
  
  
A short explanation of Ranma's Orochi capabilities:  
  
Obviously, Ranma's stronger, faster, and more resilient in his Orochi state, but to a far greater degree than Iori ever was. The reason why will probably not be explained for several chapters, mostly because I don't feel like it.  
  
Orochi Ranma is far more proficient with the Yagami flames, and tends to use them more destructively and indiscriminately.  
  
Mentally, Ranma's Orochi state is similar to that of the neko-ken state, though far more violent. He loses control of his faculties and attacks somewhat at random, but tends to focus on those he has strong feelings towards. Whether those feelings are good or bad usually determines whether or not the subject survives. 


	4. Firestorm

The birds sang and the flowers bloomed. The entire mountainside seemed alive with the colors of spring.  
  
And yet, for one person on this particular mountainside, the season of life had passed, and would come no more.  
  
A man in his late thirties approached the gravestone, carved with a skilled and accurate hand. He smiled sadly, and set a single cherry blossom on the dirty rocks that marked the extent of the tomb, and rested his hand momentarily on the large, smooth gourd that rested next to the headstone.  
  
Sie Kensou crossed his legs as he sat down next to the grave, whispering a prayer for his departed master and friend.  
  
"It's been a while, Chin. So much has happened since you passed away..."  
  
Kensou sighed. "Bao has grown up, and now looks to me for guidance. It's a role I'm simply not prepared to take on, I think."  
  
Kensou looked around a bit, and stopped to take in the image of the beautiful mountains.  
  
"It's really a wonderful day. If only you were here to see it..."  
  
Kensou snorted.  
  
"Hmph. 'Liver of iron' my butt. I warned you about all that drinking, but nooooo, nobody listens to Sie, what does he know, anyway?"  
  
Kensou leaned back a bit, then turned back toward the gravestone. "Things have been especially hard since Athena... passed away. Geez. It's been so long, and I still can't really believe she's gone. Well, she's not REALLY gone..." Kensou let a wry smile play across his lips. "No matter how dead she is, she'll always live on. As a part of me."  
  
Kensou stood up, setting the gourd to lean once again against the headstone.  
  
"We're thinking about making her a grave up here... hmm... sort of morbid, huh? But then, we don't have a body or anything, so we need something to remember her."  
  
Kensou winced slightly. "Well... something else."  
  
He refocused his attention on the gravestone. "I'll try to visit more often, Chin. Goodbye."  
  
With those final words, he bowed respectfully to his departed master.  
  
*Splash*  
  
Kensou gasped as the water fell, and was forced to push his hair, now long and a dark violet, out of his face.  
  
The face of a woman in her twenties replaced Kensou's, and it adopted an angry expression before turning to glare at a young man holding a bucket now devoid of water.  
  
Bao only smiled. "Hey, come on, you've got that concert in 45 minutes. Are you going to talk to the dead all day?"  
  
Kensou growled. "I still don't see why I have to do the stupid singing..."  
  
Bao rolled his eyes. "One: I can't sing. Two: Only one of us changes into an idol singer who's supposed to appear in concert downtown. Three: Jusenkyou was YOUR idea in the first place."  
  
Kensou winced at the third comment, and idly touched the red star that had spontaneously appeared in her hair; it was a nervous habit when Kensou was in this form.  
  
"All right, all right... but I swear, if I get groped again when signing autographs......"  
  
  
  
::The preceding omake has little to nothing to do with anything of any sort of relevance::  
  
::Really, I can't even remember why I wrote that::  
  
::And now, back to the massacre::  
  
  
  
Yagami 1/2  
  
A Ranma 0.5/King of Fighters Crossover  
  
by Black Dragon  
  
revcoll@peoplepc.com  
  
http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/fanficlair/index.html  
  
  
  
Standard disclaimer applies. Do not sue me, or I'll sic an Orochi Clansman on you. KoF belongs to SNK... I think... Ranma is Takahashi's work. Characters may be mauled, killed, or even vivasected (I don't know what that word means... but I like it!) during this chapter. But probably not. Violence level is high, but it's just writing, so this can still pull a PG rating. To any Ryoga or Nabiki fans: I'm sorry. To any Akane fans: I'm not sorry.  
  
  
  
Chapter 4  
  
Firestorm  
  
*************************************************************************** *******  
  
  
  
Ryoga ran.  
  
Really, retreat was the only option that made sense. Ryoga had a fair bit of ego-one sometimes has a tendency to think highly of himself when one can punch through most light metals-but the thing behind him was simply beyond his league. Even someone of Ryoga's arguably limited intellect could all too easily decide to throw pride to the wind and run like a frightened squirrel. It was beyond anybody's league, really. Ryoga doubted that there was anything mortal that could bring down a berzerker Ranma. Well, okay, there were those Amazons, but he had his suspicions concerning the "mortalness" of those wrinkled old hags, and besides, there were three of them.  
  
Ryoga kept running.  
  
The lost boy felt sorry for Kuno, he really did. But he didn't know the kendoist for long enough (or, for that matter, like him well enough) to face certain death in a suicidal attempt to help him. It was okay though; he had gotten a quick glance at the kendoist after Ranma had finished with him. The wounds didn't look fatal. At least, they wouldn't be if Kuno regained consciousness and sought help before he bled to death.  
  
Ryoga had turned and ran as Ranma was busy tearing into Kuno. The problem was, Kuno apparently hadn't interested Ranma's feral, psychotic mind for very long.  
  
Ryoga was now desperately praying for his lack of a sense of direction to kick in and get him VERY LOST, VERY FAST.  
  
*Ka-kroom!* Ryoga yelped and turned to avoid the pillar of purple flame that erupted from where the fireball hit. Ranma had found him again!  
  
*Boom!* *Boom!* *Boom!* *Boom!* *Boom!*  
  
Ryoga whimpered as he tried to pour more energy into his legs even as he felt waves of heat wash over him, followed by sprays of debris.  
  
"GRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!"  
  
The entire lower half of Ryoga's body would've been more than just sore by now, but right now adrenaline was keeping any thought of fatigue as far from Ryoga's senses as possible.  
  
"Shyaaaa!" *Boom!* *Boom!*  
  
As he ran for dear life, Ryoga took some time to reflect on all his misfortune, and how it all Ranma's fault. Getting lost in China was bad enough, especially when he was trying to trail someone. Getting beaten up and then tossed off a cliff into a cursed spring majorly sucked as well. Then there was the multiple times he had almost been eaten. Not to mention all the times he had been carried away with a horde of pigs. Once he had gotten to Japan, it only got worse. Ranma had beaten him with little trouble, and completely dismissed his threats to end his life. He had gotten lost again, and was then forced to ally with the clueless moron who had divulged Ranma's "weakness". And then, with the moron's help, he had finally beaten Ranma as he so richly deserved... only to have the jerk go psycho and turn into a feral killing machine capable of ripping him to so many little bloody shreds.  
  
*Kroom!*  
  
Ryoga grunted as the small fireball impacted his back, sending him onto the ground, hard.  
  
This was just not his year.  
  
The fleeing lost boy quickly flipped away, using one hand to push himself from the ground before flipping upright. A cursory glance behind him nearly got shrapnel in his eye, as Ranma's flying kick dug into the ground and blasted the concrete walk apart from the force.  
  
Having done a physical attack instead of simply throwing a fireball as he ran, Orochi Ranma was forced to extricate his foot from the ground and begin running again, giving Ryoga a few precious moments to jump onto a house and accelerate to I'm-gonna-die-please-help-me speed. People in Nerima knew trouble when they saw it, and calmly but quickly evacuated Ryoga's path across the various roofs, even if they didn't see the humanoid figure encompassed in purple hellfire.  
  
Ranma jumped onto a roof himself, and empty yellow eyes watched as the lost boy jumped around at random, perhaps hoping that a zig-zag course would confuse his attacker (he wasn't in the right state of mind to realize that Ryoga was trying to run in a straight line, but failing). A maniacal grin slowly formed on Ranma's face. The purple aura that surrounded him began to build, and ribbons of fire snaked upward from the roofing around him, winding around him as they rose.  
  
"Hraaaaaah..." pale, yellow steam wafted from his mouth. Ranma raised his hands slightly in front of him, his gaze always centered on Ryoga.  
  
His flame aura reached its peak, and the tendrils of flame suddenly bent to flow into Ranma's raised hands. Within moments, both fists were swallowed by dark, fiery spheres.  
  
"SHYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" Ranma slapped his fists together, pointing them at Ryoga.  
  
*Shoooooooooooooooooom* A huge purple beam of energy blasted forth from Ranma's hands, tearing up the street far below its path as its head impacted the closed-up bathhouse just behind Ryoga.  
  
*Ka-krooom!!* *Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!*  
  
A series of explosions followed the initial blast, completely decimating the bathhouse and lighting most of what surrounded it aflame. The explosions continued as the beam moved to the side, sweeping across Ryoga's path.  
  
*Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!*  
  
Ryoga jumped just in time, and landed behind the antique shop just as the energy beam annihilated everything that kept the roof up. Ryoga looked behind him in fascinated horror as it continued to do the same to the structures past the antique shop.  
  
'I think I have to run faster...' and he did.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
"Ooh! How you can actually like that creep is beyond me!" Akane fumed as she played her last encounter with the pigtailed boy, and planned what she would do differently the next time he was within strangling range.  
  
Nabiki rolled her eyes. "I know you won't believe this, but he CAN actually be a nice guy. Really nice, actually."  
  
"Hmph." Akane crossed her arms over her chest. "Well, it's not like it would kill him to be a nice guy around me."  
  
'Actually, it'd probably kill him to be around you at all.' Nabiki suppressed a snicker at her own mental joke. "Don't worry about it Akane. I'll talk to him, okay? Even if it is fun to watch, we can't have you two destroying things all the time."  
  
Akane sighed and paid for her new bookbag. After thanking the cashier, she and Nabiki walked away from the store along the sidewalk, Akane occasionally knocking on her bookbag to insure its ability to withstand punishment. "Anyway, I wonder where he is?"  
  
Nabiki shrugged. "Probably out fighting or something. He'll turn up."  
  
  
  
*Shoooooooooooooooooom* *Ka-krooom!!* *Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!* *Blam!*  
  
Akane and Nabiki blinked, then looked over in the direction the noise was coming from to see multiple explosions of purple fire tear across a line of buildings.  
  
"Yeah, a REAL nice guy," Akane deadpanned.  
  
Nabiki frowned. That was way too much power for Ranma to be using on Kuno... what was going on?  
  
"OH GOD!!! SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!" a marginally familiar boy wearing a yellow and black bandanna jumped from the roof of the shop they were just browsing, only to land near the other side of the street, and run straight THROUGH the brick wall separating it from a mall parking lot. The other spectators stared at the sight for a moment, then quickly and calmly fled the area.  
  
Nabiki blinked. "Wait... he's that guy from the ice cream shop. Who-?"  
  
Her rhetorical question was cut off by a feral roar, followed closely by a humanoid figure jumping high above their heads, eclipsing the sun even as it cast its own violet light on the shadowed ground.  
  
"SHYAH!!! HAAAAAAUGH!!!" swarms of purple lights appeared from Ranma's hands, then slowly accelerated downward to rain explosions on the innocent commercial district below.  
  
*Boom!* *Boom!* *Boom!* *Boom!* *Boom!* *Boom!* *Boom!* *Boom!* *Boom!* *Boom!* *Boom!*  
  
Nabiki was staring open-mouthed in shock even as Akane tackled her to the ground. Waves of heat and small rubble washed over her, and she squeezed her eyes shut as Ranma let out another piercing roar.  
  
'Oh my God... Kuno did it... but how did that moron manage to... I mean, how could he...' Nabiki continued gaping even as Akane stood up amongst the smoke.  
  
"I can't believe that idiot! How could he just toss around that much power like that? That maniac could hurt someone!" Akane growled and started running, making sure to avoid the blackened craters. "I'm going to teach that jerk a lesson!"  
  
Nabiki's eyes widened. Akane was going to try and stop him? After he casually destroyed an entire street? But then, Ranma had never really defended himself against Akane before, and Akane didn't exactly know that he wasn't in his right mind.  
  
'If she attacks Ranma, she's dead.' "AKANE!!! NO!!!"  
  
"Don't worry Nabiki! I'll take care of it! You can stay here!" Akane ran through the section of the destroyed wall.  
  
Nabiki grimaced, then got to her feet and started running, wishing for the first time in months that she had her sister's devotion to physical conditioning.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Ranma grunted sporadically as he surveyed the parking lot before him. It was peppered with craters now, and a few cars were still burning with violet fire. He turned, then surveyed the massive stone wall that marked the side of the mall.  
  
He had lost his prey. Momentarily. He would find it soon enough.  
  
Ranma leapt onto the wall before him, and his fingers dug into the stone easily, creating finger holes where there were none.  
  
He was about to began scaling it, when his sharpened senses detected an object flying toward the back of his head at high speed. Ranma freed one arm for a defense.  
  
*Whack* *Thwoom* The bookbag went flying to the side, engulfed in fire. By the time it hit the ground, it had already mostly collapsed as ash.  
  
"Hey! That's two bookbags you've destroyed!"  
  
Ranma turned his head lazily to look at the little girl below. Said "little girl" proceeded to heft a sign that had been blown out of the ground and throw it at him like a javelin.  
  
Ranma pushed off the wall, then backflipped to land in a crouch two meters from Akane.  
  
"I can't believe you just rushed through and tossed all those explosives like that!! What do you have to say for yourself?!"  
  
"Shyaaaah!"  
  
"What did you say?!" Akane shouted irritably.  
  
"Graaaaaa!"  
  
Akane blinked. "Uh... do you have a cold or something?"  
  
"Kyaaaaa! Shyaaaak!!"  
  
Akane blinked some more, then snarled. "Hey! You're making fun of me, aren't you?!"  
  
"Kraaugh!!"  
  
Akane cocked back a fist. "Yeah? Well TAKE THIS!!!"  
  
Ranma, predictably, didn't take it, and Akane almost fell forward as her fist didn't meet anything to stop its momentum. Luckily, she was saved when Ranma slipped past her fist and grabbed both her arms.  
  
"GRAAAAAAAAAUGH!!!" Ranma leaned his head back, then smashed his forehead against Akane's, sending the youngest Tendo daughter flying from the force.  
  
Ranma stared impassively as Akane's unconscious body slid across the pavement. This one was weak. Not so weak as the other common creatures that walked this place, but still weak. It did not deserve his time.  
  
Ranma turned back to the mall, the last place he had seen the one with the bandanna. That one was strong, and filled with hate and anger. It was worthy prey; it was deserving of death. It would die, and then it would burn, and he would bathe in its blood.  
  
"Akane! Are you all right?"  
  
Ranma turned suddenly at the voice, and Nabiki stopped in her tracks to stare at him in return.  
  
'Oh geez. Kuno really did do it. He's all hunched over, like he said, and those eyes...' Nabiki gulped and took a step back, then returned her gaze to Akane's body. 'No blood. That's good. She's also not on fire.'  
  
Then her blood froze as Ranma let out a puff of steam from his mouth, before his mouth very slowly formed a grin.  
  
Yes. This one. This one was the betrayer. Still weak, but still worthy of death. It's death would have to come slowly though; otherwise there was no sport in killing weaklings.  
  
Nabiki trembled slightly as Ranma took a step toward her. 'Okay, easy girl. This is Ranma. He wouldn't hurt you.' She glanced back at Akane. 'Okay, so maybe he'd hurt you a little. Just be calm, and don't make any sudden movements.'  
  
Orochi Ranma started walking forward slowly, one step after the other, before raising his arms as if to grasp Nabiki once in range.  
  
*Fwoom* Those same hands lit aflame.  
  
Nabiki let out a choked gasp, and her eyes began tearing up as she felt the heat of the flames coming closer. She couldn't run. Ranma was many times faster than her, without taking into account his Orochi form. He'd cut her down instantly. Fighting him off was even more ridiculous.  
  
Nabiki slowly stepped back even as she inhaled a bit of the dense, sickly fog that Ranma exhaled. It smelled decrepit, like rotting flesh. She was going to die.  
  
A whimper escaped her lips as Ranma grabbed her shoulder fiercely, the woolen fabric warming quickly from the heat of Ranma's aura, and searing her skin underneath.  
  
*Kshk!* Nabiki shouted incoherently as Ranma's fingernails cut easily through the soft skin of her other shoulder. Nabiki fell backward onto the ground, clutching her arm as blood seeped from it and stained her sweatshirt.  
  
"Hyaaaaaaa...... raaaaaugh..." Orochi Ranma stalked forward, regarding her with a maniacal grin of an insane killer. But it was more than that really. This wasn't simple insanity. Nor was Ranma a simple killer.  
  
Nabiki's choked sobs had no chance of reaching Ranma. The betrayer lay before him. It's blood flowed. Sweet blood. There would be more blood flowing before the flame was put out.  
  
Ranma raised his arm in a savage clawing gesture. "KYAAAAAUGH!!!"  
  
Nabiki was hypnotized as she watched the hand descend. A hand that could, and by all indications, would slice her to ribbons. She was far too occupied to hear the screams from off to the side, much less notice them as she squeezed her eyes shut, preparing herself for the final blow.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!" *Pow!* "Oof!"  
  
Nabiki cracked an eye open, even as the rest of her body was trying to overcome its shock and terror. Ranma was stumbling slightly, and that guy with the bandanna was on the ground behind him.  
  
  
  
Ryoga rubbed his head, annoyed, and wondered just what was going on. He had continued running in sheer panic after he had finally managed to lose Ranma, in the hopes that his terrible sense of direction would land him in a far-off place, when he had run into something. That in itself was not strange at all; what was odd was that it wasn't knocked aside like a bowling pin.  
  
Opening his eyes and looking up, everything became clear.  
  
'I just ran harder than I ever have in my life to get AWAY from Ranma, only to come full circle and run back into him,' he thought. And then, out loud, "Mommy."  
  
Ranma's empty, lifeless eyes gazed into his. A hand rose, and gripped Ryoga's shirt, before lifting him into the air.  
  
Ryoga panicked and threw a hard right hook to his tormentor's jaw.  
  
*Thwack!* Ranma's head was knocked to the side from the blow, and just as quickly snapped back to face him, giving no indication that a hit was ever taken.  
  
Ranma exhaled noisily, blowing the strange mist into Ryoga's face. The lost boy breathed it in for a moment, then started coughing from the scent. It smelled like death. If death could be said to have a scent, at least.  
  
"I... will... teeeeeear... you... aparrrrrt......" Ryoga looked into Ranma's soulless eyes, shocked beyond action. Then Ranma straightened his arms, holding Ryoga out at arm's length.  
  
*Ka-BLAM!!!* The explosion blasted Ryoga across the parking lot, spreading violet embers as the lost boy skidded along the pavement.  
  
Ryoga coughed as the flames ate at his shirt and skin, and rolled his entire body out of the area where he landed.  
  
*Smash!!* Ranma's fist sunk into the pavement of the lot, missing Ryoga completely. Ryoga managed to get to his feet, and then flip himself over a car, simply to put something between him and Ranma.  
  
*KABOOM!!!* Ryoga didn't look back as the car's fuel tank exploded, and ignored the metal pieces flying into his back. All it was was another distraction for Ranma.  
  
Ryoga kept running through the parking lot, trying to put vehicles between him and his pursuer. He reached the street, and ran right through another brick wall separating it from the street. Hesitating only a moment, he chose a direction at random (something he was very good at) and started running again.  
  
"Graaaaaugh!!"  
  
Ryoga let a few tears fall from his eyes as twin fireballs exploded to either side of him. He spared a glance to his rear, to see Ranma crouching on top of the brick wall, both fists aflame.  
  
"Why can't you leave me alone?! Go away, you psycho!!"  
  
Ranma barked out a short... exclamation of some sort, and then leapt high into the air, releasing more swarms of purple lights that slowly gave way to gravity and plummeted downwards.  
  
*Boom!* *Boom!* *Boom!* *Boom!* *Boom!* *Boom!* *Boom!* *Boom!* *Boom!* *Boom!* *Boom!*  
  
Ryoga got caught near one of the blast areas, but hardly let that stop him. By now a good portion of his shirt had been burned off, and his pants would have been blackened if they weren't black to begin with.  
  
Leaping over a fence, Ryoga bounded off onto a street with several pedestrians on it, all of whom gave him questioning glances as they noticed his state of disarray. When a figure appeared overhead, encompassed in purple, the spectators decided to throw the "quick and calm" evacuation to the wind and opted for the more common "panic and run" type of evacuation.  
  
Ryoga was nearly knocked over by the scattering people, which was rather frustrating to someone who had enough trouble going in a straight line when there was nothing in his way.  
  
Arrows of violet fire blasted the ground, and Ryoga's heart seized in his chest. Until he realized that he was unscathed, standing alone in the middle of a ring of craters blazing with guttering purple flame.  
  
Amidst his relief, Ryoga jumped, and the ground he was standing on was torn and smashed by Ranma's dive as the pigtailed boy's tackle missed its target. Ryoga didn't look back this time as he jumped off the roof of a wrecked car and over another building, and Ranma's glowing eyes narrowed as he picked himself off the ground slowly.  
  
"KRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"  
  
Ryoga kept running.  
  
Run, Ryoga, run.  
  
  
  
The lost boy looked around the gas station frantically, then ducked behind an SUV next to a pumping station.  
  
The man refueling his car blinked, and then craned his neck to look at the young man cowering next to the engine.  
  
"Something wrong?"  
  
Ryoga looked at him, still gibbering in terror. "Hello. I'm going to die. It's been nice meeting you."  
  
The man blinked, then turned as some other people nearby shouted. Then his eyes widened upon seeing something that was obscured from Ryoga's view by the SUV. The man did the instinctual thing and ran, completely forgetting about his vehicle.  
  
Ryoga was frantic. He didn't want to die. Not like this. Not at Ranma's hands. But then, it really wasn't up to him, was it? He stared at the bucket of soapy water next to him, complete with squeegee and sponge. Cold, soapy water. Inspiration hit him like a tomboy's mallet.  
  
*Splash*  
  
The small black piglet shook water off of it, glad that for once his head had come in handy for something other than a place to hold his bandannas.  
  
"Kyaaah..."  
  
Ryoga went still. Then, ever so slowly, he raised his little head up to see Ranma squatting on the hood of the SUV, his purple aura only slightly thinner than before, and his soulless gaze as cold as ever.  
  
"Bwee?" Ryoga sweatdropped as the young Yagami stared down at him.  
  
Then, to his desperate relief, Ranma broke the gaze and searched from side to side, probably looking for his human form. Ryoga started to slowly walk away, so as not to draw attention to himself.  
  
*Drip* *Drip*  
  
Ryoga spared a moment in his sneaking to watch the gasoline drip from the nozzle that the man had been holding before he had fled.  
  
Gasoline.  
  
He was at a gas station.  
  
With a strange, psychotic version of "the human torch".  
  
Oh $#!+!  
  
"Bweeeeeeeeeee!" Ryoga ran for all he was worth, pumping his short piggy legs as hard as he could. It was rather difficult; changing didn't rejuvenate you any, so his body was just as tired and beaten as it was before. Adrenaline truly could do wonders, however.  
  
Ranma threw his head from side to side as he stood up on the hood of the SUV. His prey has escaped. But how? There was no sign of him. Where?  
  
"Raaaaugh... Raaargh! RAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!!" Orochi Ranma's purple aura exploded outwards.  
  
Contact.  
  
*KAAAAABLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!!!*  
  
  
  
Ryoga didn't quite get far enough. The detonation lifted him clear off the ground, and he succumbed to unconsciousness in the air, even as the fire charred his porcine hide.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Across from the gas station, a lone figure shook its head at the explosion, a huge flash of typical yellow flame, with a core of purple embers.  
  
So, it happened again. With luck, he'd still be all right. Ranma was a tough one, after all. Even tougher when he's gone berserk.  
  
Still, the figure hesitated to step closer. The other people had all fled, and for good reason.  
  
Wait; there was something coming out.  
  
  
  
Orochi Ranma slowly trudged away from the center of the crater that used to be a gas station, hunched over and bleeding. There were several burns all over his body, though nothing serious, and hardly what one would expect from someone who had survived such a huge explosion. If Ranma was in the state of mind to think about such things, he would be thankful that his own aura protected him as much as it did from the flame.  
  
Ranma fell to his knees, and his breathing started to slow as his entire body suddenly acknowledged the pain and stress it had endured.  
  
Someone was coming! Ranma snapped his head to the side, and his empty eyes took in a sight that they found familiar: a teenage girl with long, violet hair. She was obviously afraid, and approaching carefully.  
  
"Ranma?" The girl spoke tentatively, "Is Shampoo. Is you okay? Ranma?"  
  
Ranma fell to the ground, submitting to the void of unconsciousness that lay beyond the flames of the blood riot. There was nothing to be afraid of. The caretaker was here.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
*And so we'll have clear skies over Okinawa, Kyoto, and most of Tokyo all through the week.*  
  
The female newscaster continued droning on about the weather. Nodoka finished chopping the carrots, then slid her knife across the cutting board to sweep them into the pan.  
  
*The only exception is the Nerima district, which has been inexplicably experiencing bizarre and totally unpredictable weather patterns for two days so far. Inhabitants are encouraged to be prepared for anything, from sudden, heavy rain, to a concentrated meteor shower.*  
  
"Hmmm, hm-hm hmm hmmm." Nodoka continued humming to herself, and poured some soy sauce into the stir-fry.  
  
*Rrrrrk* *Bam* "Mom! I'm home!"  
  
Nodoka smiled as Yurumi skipped into the kitchen. "Hello dear. How was your day at school?"  
  
The nine-year old giggled, setting down her book bag at the door. "It was great!"  
  
*Statisticians are predicting a 40% chance of monster attack in the general Tokyo area today, with an elevated 65% chance in the Juuban and Nerima districts. In addition, they predict a 70% chance of alien invasion in the Nerima and Okinawa districts, with an additional 20% chance of random supernatural phenomena for these regions. In other news, minor maintenance problems in the Tokyo subway stations will be causing delays and canceling-*  
  
"You didn't start any fires, did you?" Nodoka asked with a slightly worried tone.  
  
Yurumi lowered her head and blushed. "No. I remember what happened last week."  
  
Nodoka smiled again, and rubbed her daughter on the head affectionately, scattering her vibrant, fiery red hair. "That's good, dear." Nodoka twisted a knob on her stove, then backed off, taking the frying pan in her hand. "Could you light that, please?"  
  
Yurumi grinned, nodded, then pointed to the stove with only her thumb and index finger sticking out, like a gun.  
  
*Fwoom*  
  
Nodoka nodded and placed the frying pan over the violet blaze, then started stirring the dish. Yurumi sat down next to the TV, then took her homework out of her bag.  
  
Nodoka was glad they had come to Nerima. It seemed like such a nice place. And the people were very understanding of the extraordinary. Which was simply a must when Yurumi's abilities had begun to manifest.  
  
Burning down most of the school in Juuban was quite unfortunate, she agreed, but they wouldn't even listen to her when she tried to explain what had happened! Imagine, grown men and women, cowering behind a conference table from a little girl trying to hide behind her mother's legs in embarrassment! They should really be ashamed of themselves!  
  
Nerima's Katonawa Elementary School took the incident in stride though, and the principal even asked if Yurumi's unique pyromania required any special attention. He had been just as understanding when she explained that it wasn't pyromania, though she suspected he didn't really believe it. Besides, Yurumi had gotten the hang of her powers after she had burned down the house; Nodoka had really started to put some of what her husband had told her to use, and the number of Yurumi's "friendly fire" incidents had tanked considerably.  
  
So she had used some of Iori's savings, as well as the fire insurance coverage (absolutely essential in any Yagami household), and found a nice home in Nerima. It had surprised her just how cheap the land was; apparently Nerima was a place of extremely low property values.  
  
*This just in! There's been a major disaster surrounding the commercial district of Nerima! We have reports of several explosions of some type of purple energy... no, my mistake, that's purple fire. More reports are coming in.*  
  
Nodoka stopped cooking her stir fry, and frowned at her daughter, who was staring at the television wide-eyed. "I thought you said you didn't start any fires."  
  
Yurumi shook her head at her mother. "But I didn't! I didn't even go shopping today!"  
  
*The reports are in. It appears that there are only two casualties; a young man found at a partially destroyed portion of a small park, who was injured but is expected to make a full recovery. Paramedics, however, were forced to heavily sedate him soon after he had regained consciousness, for reasons that are unclear. Something about "annoying rants".* The newscaster shrugged.  
  
Nodoka turned off her stove, leaving the vegetables to cool as she took a seat beside her daughter, eyes locked on the set.  
  
*The other casualty was another young man that was apparently being trailed by the source of the explosions, and ran a large course through the commercial areas of Nerima. The destruction apparently reached a peak with a massive explosion at a local gas station. Neither the young man nor the cause of the explosions have been found at the blast site. Here we have some eyewitness reports of the incident.*  
  
  
  
*Yeah, it was real crazy. I just saw this kid with a bandanna run through a wall, so I just took off. Didn't even look back when all that purple lights started flashing about.*  
  
  
  
*It was the most incredible thing I've ever seen! I didn't get a good look at whoever it was who was running away, but I saw this really cool pillar of purple fire on top of a roof! Then it blasted out as a beam that swept across a row of buildings and demolished them!*  
  
  
  
*Some kid with black hair wearing a bandanna ducked in front of my car. Said something about dying... then I turned around, and saw this other... thing... surrounded by that purple fire.*  
  
The reporter held her microphone closer to the man. *Can you tell us what it looked like?*  
  
The man stared at her incredulously. *What, are you crazy? I didn't hang around to watch! I may have lost my car, but my life is worth more than that!*  
  
  
  
*As a martial artist, it was my duty to help out when the explosions started. The civilians needed a leader, so I bravely took charge and heroically led them out of the danger zone. Things were looking bad. At times I even needed to use force to keep things under control, and keep the non-combatants safely behind me.*  
  
The reporter sweatdropped as the heavy set man in a white gi nodded sagely to himself, then paused to push his thin glasses firmly back onto his nose. *So... was there any encounter with the cause of the destruction? Did you attempt to stop it?*  
  
The man grunted and self-consciously tugged on the knot holding the bandanna that was tied onto his head to conceal his baldness. *I'm heroic, not suicidal. Give me a break.*  
  
  
  
Nodoka's spoon fell from numb fingers. "Oh dear. Is it...?"  
  
Yurumi looked back and forth from her mother to the television. "Mom? What's wrong? Are Daddy and Ranma back?"  
  
Nodoka stared for a moment, then got up and picked up her purse from the counter. Reaching into it, she placed several thousand yen notes onto the table. "Here. Yurumi, order something for dinner, please. I'm going out."  
  
Yurumi looked up nervously, but nodded. She knew better than to argue when her mother got serious like this.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Iori walked the streets of Nerima cautiously, avoiding the crowds of spectators and the investigators that surrounded the area with as much prevalence as the blackened craters they were observing.  
  
He had heard the explosions and seen the purple flashes. He had his suspicions right there, but discarded them. What were the chances that Ranma had experienced another riot of the blood?  
  
Looking at the line of collapsed roofs sitting atop piles of charred debris, he had to rethink those chances.  
  
'Damn. How did this happen? If Ranma killed anyone then he'll never get over it.' Iori looked from side to side, then entered an alleyway.  
  
He shrugged his hands into his pockets as he watched a teenage girl with long, violet hair gently place a wet towel onto his son's forehead. He couldn't actually see if it was Ranma, as she had positioned herself to be as inconspicuous as possible, but he knew this girl, and couldn't imagine who else she would be tending.  
  
*Ahem*  
  
Shampoo jumped up in surprise, then whipped around in a defensive stance. Only to deflate completely once she saw who it was.  
  
"Oh. Is you. You know what happen?" Shampoo gestured to Ranma, and Iori got his first look at his son's condition. Not too bad; the burns would take a little more time to heal, but the various abrasions and bruises were already disappearing.  
  
Iori shook his head in response to Shampoo's question. "No. Was he...?" he left the question unfinished. Shampoo knew what he meant.  
  
She sighed and nodded slowly. "Yes. Shampoo see him walk out of explosion. Hurt very bad, and pass out."  
  
Iori nodded. "Thanks for taking care of him. Though why are you here?"  
  
Shampoo blinked rapidly, and a sweatdrop rolled down her head. "Uhhh...... Shampoo... Look! Ranma wake up!"  
  
Iori turned toward his son, much to Shampoo's relief. "Ranma? You all right?"  
  
Ranma groaned, and his eyes blinked rapidly. "Huh? Wha...? What's going... oh no..." Ranma sat up suddenly, then clutched his stomach suddenly as pain shot through his body.  
  
"Ah man, I think I'm gonna be sick!"  
  
He grimaced, then blinked when he saw a feminine hand on his arm. "Ranma is okay?"  
  
Ranma blinked some more, noticing for the fist time that he wasn't alone with his father.  
  
"Shampoo? What are you doing here?"  
  
Shampoo blinked nervously again. "Ah... Shampoo come visit Ranma in homeland! Arrive just in time! Very bad hurt!"  
  
Ranma apparently accepted this, and turned to his father.  
  
"Ranma. How did this happen?"  
  
The pigtailed boy grimaced and turned so that his back rested against the alley wall. "Kuno and Ryoga ganged up on me. And, well... they said some stuff as they beat me, and I... sorta lost it."  
  
Ranma reflected upon the actual reason within his mind. Nabiki. He had told her the only secret he had that was bigger than his curse, and she sold him out a day later.  
  
"Ryoga was at Jusenkyou, Pop. He said he got cursed. I think I did that to him." Iori's expression didn't change, but it didn't need to show anything. Ranma could just as easily imagine the older Yagami's shame like this than if he had shouted it in his ear through a loudspeaker.  
  
It wasn't Ryoga's fault, or Kuno's, or Nabiki's. Bottom line was, he had lost control again. This time in a heavily populated area. As much as those three contributed to that, it was still his responsibility.  
  
Shampoo started to get worried as Ranma's expression began to sink further and further into despair. "Ranma be okay?"  
  
He glanced up at her, and flashed her a grateful smile. "Thanks Shampoo. I'll be all right. I guess." Ranma felt his strength return, and lifted himself off the floor of the alleyway, before leaning against the wall. Then he stared hard at the wall on the other side of the alley, avoiding eye contact with his father.  
  
"Pop? I didn't...... hurt anyone, did I?" Iori knew this was coming. Whatever damage had been done, Ranma would try to take responsibility upon himself; this he knew. It was admirable, but really took its toll more than the whole blood riot itself, which should have been Ranma's main concern. But then, Iori didn't have half of Ranma's inhibitions when it came to defending himself.  
  
"No. Nobody important anyway. Who's Ryoga?"  
  
Ranma sighed. "It's a long story. Let's get outta here." He stood up, then stumbled slightly. Shampoo caught his arm, then slipped it around her neck to support him. He gave another grateful smile, and then turned back toward his father, who was already heading out ahead of them.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Kasumi gasped in surprise as soon as she got back from shopping and immediately dropped to her knees next to Akane, who was lying prone on the couch with a wet towel on her forehead. Soun, who followed his daughter through the front door, had somewhat less conventional methods of dealing with sudden stress.  
  
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! MY BABY GIRL IS DYING!!!"  
  
Kasumi refrained from calming her father in favor of checking on Akane's injuries. She took off the towel, and winced slightly at the extremely conspicuous bump parting her hair.  
  
"She's going to be okay, right?"  
  
Kasumi hesitated, then nodded at Nabiki, who was descending the stairs. "She'll be all right. It looks like she took a nasty hit to the forehead, is all. Possibly a slight concussion." Soun kept crying, albeit he'd stopped declaring his youngest daughter's wounds fatal.  
  
Kasumi frowned slightly. Nabiki was coming down in a clean, blue sweater, but her pants were very dirty. "Nabiki? What happened?"  
  
Nabiki could have cursed as she realized that she had kept the same pants on. Ordinarily she wouldn't have dismissed little details like that, but she had been rather shaken up by the day's events.  
  
"......... It was... an accident..." Nabiki really wasn't sure how much more she could say. Then she noticed her sister's hand moving. "You can... ask Akane. She's coming to." Nabiki sat down on the edge of the couch miserably. This was going to be a long night...  
  
"Akane! Akane! You're all right! Oh, thank the heavens!" Soun clasped his hands around hers, and cried desperately into them.  
  
"Wh-What? Dad? Where am I?" Akane sat up slowly, and freed a hand to rub her head as her brain seemed to throb inside her skull. She opened her eyes, and then blinked until the fuzzy images cleared up.  
  
"Akane, are you all right?" Kasumi asked with a worried expression.  
  
Akane smiled to reassure her older sister, even as she rubbed her head. "Uh-huh! I'm fine! Just a bit of a headache..." she turned an annoyed frown to her father. "Dad! Would you cut it out? You're getting my dress wet!"  
  
As Soun backed off slightly, Kasumi laid a hand on her youngest sister's shoulder. "Akane, how did this happen to you?"  
  
Akane blinked, then frowned again. Then she scowled. "It was Ranma!"  
  
Kasumi and Soun gasped, while Nabiki sighed. Well, the cat was out of the bag now.  
  
"That jerk said I had no self-control, then called me a klutz and ran off! ... I must have tripped chasing him."  
  
Kasumi and Soun blinked. Nabiki leaned over slightly, then fell completely off the couch with an unreadable expression on her face.  
  
Akane scratched her head, then winced at the sensation that created. "Wait... there was something else... after that..."  
  
Nabiki sat up, then squatted by the couch.  
  
Akane nodded, then pointed to Nabiki. "Yeah! I went with you to shop for a new bookbag... and then... I don't remember."  
  
Her family stared.  
  
"You don't remember?" Nabiki deadpanned.  
  
Akane shook her head. "No. It's a total blank."  
  
"MY LITTLE BABY HAS AMNESIA!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!" The Tendo daughters all sweatdropped, but didn't turn toward their father.  
  
Akane looked at Nabiki. "Why? What happened." Kasumi also stared at the middle daughter, who stared back.  
  
"It was...... There was an explosion. A pretty big one, but I don't think anyone was seriously hurt. I didn't see exactly what happened to Akane, but when I found her, she had that bump on her head."  
  
Akane blinked again. "Oh. An explosion? ... Sounds right, I guess."  
  
Kasumi put a hand to her mouth. "Oh my! It's a good thing you only got a bump on the head, then."  
  
Akane nodded, Soun's crying fit started to wind down, and Kasumi started to examine the injuries more closely. Leaving Nabiki with her thoughts.  
  
Akane had taken a hit to the head, and didn't remember a thing. She'd recover just fine, if what Kasumi was saying was any indication. Nabiki idly scratched her shoulder irritably; bandaging the wound didn't exactly make it hurt much less.  
  
  
  
"Yo."  
  
The entire Tendo family turned toward the direction of the front door. Then they blinked collectively, as one by one they took in a face they hadn't seen before.  
  
"Ah! Yagami! ...... Uhm, who's this young lady?" Soun got up and scratched his head.  
  
Ranma stared for a moment, then nodded toward Shampoo. "This is Shampoo. She's a friend of mine from China."  
  
Shampoo smiled happily and bowed. "Nihao! Shampoo come visit Ranma in Japan! Is okay?"  
  
Kasumi smiled warmly and put down the cloth. "Oh! You need someplace to stay? We have an extra room; it will be no trouble at all!" Kasumi got up and left for the second guest room, not noticing how Ranma's eyes had locked onto Nabiki's as soon as Shampoo had been introduced.  
  
Iori had noticed, and left for the kitchen, motioning for Soun to follow him. Soun was a little reluctant to leave Akane's side, but followed anyway.  
  
Shampoo stared worriedly at Ranma, casting occasional suspicious glances at Nabiki.  
  
Akane stared worriedly at Nabiki, casting occasional suspicious glances at Ranma.  
  
  
  
Ranma stared hard at Nabiki, unable to read her expression. Not that he was trying very hard. He was never good at that sort of thing.  
  
Nabiki, however, was. Ranma knew. She didn't exactly know how he had figured it out, but he knew that she had told Kuno and essentially set up that episode. So now the question was, what was he going to do about it?  
  
"Hey, Akane, maybe it's best that you let Dr. Tofu take a look at your head. Even if it's not serious, if you can't remember what happened, it's probably best to make sure."  
  
Akane blinked suddenly, and stopped glaring at Ranma. Ordinarily she would've said something by now, likely around the lines of "You pervert! Stop staring at my sister!" and pounded him, but didn't want to alienate his friend just yet, since she was a girl. "Oh! I guess you're right." Akane got up unsteadily.  
  
Ranma hadn't taken his eyes off Nabiki, and Shampoo had started poking him in the side to get his attention.  
  
Then, he blinked.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
*Kshk!* Nabiki shouted incoherently as Ranma's fingernails cut easily through the soft skin of her other shoulder. Nabiki fell backward onto the ground, clutching her arm as blood seeped from it and stained her sweatshirt.  
  
"Hyaaaaaaa...... raaaaaugh..." Orochi Ranma stalked forward, regarding her with a maniacal grin of an insane killer. But it was more than that really. This wasn't simple insanity. Nor was Ranma a simple killer.  
  
Nabiki's choked sobs had no chance of reaching Ranma. The betrayer lay before him. It's blood flowed. Sweet blood. There would be more blood flowing before the flame was put out.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Ranma's expression hardened, and Nabiki's emotionless facade slipped as she flinched back.  
  
Akane, whose dizzy spell had passed almost instantly, blinked at her sister.  
  
"Nabiki?"  
  
Ranma finally moved forward, and turned toward the stairs which led to the bathroom. He felt dirty.  
  
"You should probably go see the doc too, Nabiki. That cut on your arm is pretty deep; it could get infected."  
  
Ranma never glanced back to see Nabiki's panicked expression as he ascended the stairway, Shampoo following hesitantly behind him.  
  
"Nabiki? You were hurt too? Let me see, it might be serious!"  
  
"No Akane, it's all right..."  
  
"Stop squirming! I can't-*Gasp*-This IS deep! Are you okay?"  
  
  
  
Akane and Nabiki's conversation faded away as Ranma walked down the hall and stopped in front of the bathroom, contemplating.  
  
Shampoo didn't like this at all. Ranma was acting sullen and depressed, just like at the Amazon village. It had taken her over a week to cheer him up then, and restore his normally warm and carefree attitude.  
  
Had Shampoo had a little more instruction in psychology, she would have known that it takes an extremely strong mind to get over a traumatic event of such magnitude in a week, especially when in the midst of people who wanted to kill you because of it.  
  
"Ranma is okay, yes? Nobody hurt. Ranma just be careful!" Shampoo smiled.  
  
Ranma sighed, and cracked a small smile. "Yeah, I'll be fine. Thanks Shampoo." The girl had a type of bubbly cheerfulness that made it impossible to be sad around her. He had mostly that to thank for getting over the whole incident in China.  
  
Still, he wasn't in China anymore, and this incident was a little more complicated than the other.  
  
Ranma entered the changing room. 'Nabiki... I can't believe I hurt her... but after what she did... damn! What am I gonna do?'  
  
He started to take off his shirt, then stopped.  
  
"Er... Shampoo? Could you wait outside or something please?"  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Nabiki was in her room nursing her injured shoulder, and flipping through her ledger.  
  
Dr. Tofu had given her some stitches and herbs to help the cut heal faster and keep it from being infected. The real problem, however, had been explaining how she got a cut that deep in her shoulder from an explosion, when he couldn't find any trace of sharp rock or metal, and the rest of her was fairly unscathed. But Nabiki had managed to dodge the question long enough to get out the door, regardless.  
  
She flipped the page in her ledger.  
  
"30,000 yen, huh? Well, at least it's not cheap to buy off your integrity."  
  
Nabiki almost fell off her bed, and slapped her notebook closed as she sat up and turned toward the window.  
  
Ranma squatted just outside, balancing easily on the narrow sill that would have tested a cat's agility.  
  
Nabiki crossed her arms over her chest, but kept her gaze even. "Did you want something, Yagami?"  
  
Ranma's expression didn't falter. "Oh, just wanted to chat, that's all." The nonchalance of his expression was, Nabiki admitted, really unsettling. "So, you made quite a tidy little profit out of all this, huh?"  
  
Her eyes narrowed, and she rubbed her shoulder conspicuously. "Yes, for what I paid for it..."  
  
Ranma snorted. "What YOU paid, huh? You have no idea how lucky you got off......"  
  
Nabiki shifted into a full glare. "I thought you couldn't remember what happened when you're like that."  
  
Ranma grimaced. "Sometimes I do. I still don't know how Akane got hurt, but I can imagine easily enough."  
  
Ranma broke eye contact, then refocused his gaze. "Why?"  
  
"Why what?" Nabiki snapped.  
  
"Why did you do it? I trusted you!" Ranma growled, and his balance shifted slightly on the window sill.  
  
Nabiki turned away. "It's MY job to take care of the finances, Ranma. I'm sorry if you can't control your temper, but you can't pin this on me. Frankly, I'm surprised and rather disappointed that you let Kuno get to you like that."  
  
Ranma ignored the jolt that her statement sent through his body. "That's not the point, Nabiki! You told them! I trusted you and you told the first person that offered you enough cash!"  
  
Nabiki turned back toward Ranma, her face a hardened mask. "We've got to eat somehow, Ranma. I don't know if you've noticed, training out in the wilderness, but living in Japan isn't free." She lowered her head. "Besides, since you obviously remembered, you already got me back for telling Kuno."  
  
Ranma hopped into her room. "You have the GALL to say that I paid you back with that little scratch? Don't you realize I could've KILLED you? I would've killed you!"  
  
Nabiki was taken aback by the steel in his voice, and backed up away from the bed that Ranma was now standing on.  
  
"You really have no idea, do you? My life is just an item, something to be pawned off to whoever has enough money? My weaknesses? My secrets? Do you have ANY idea to what could've happened? How many lives could have been destroyed, just like that?" Ranma stepped forward, and Nabiki stepped back again.  
  
Nabiki grasped for something to say in return. Got it. "Because of YOUR weakness, not mine, Yagami. It's not MY fault that you can't control yourself." Bullseye.  
  
Ranma's body seemed to freeze, and Nabiki started rethinking what she had said.  
  
Ranma twitched. Nabiki flinched back, and let the first trace of fear enter her eyes as her gaze slipped to Ranma hand momentarily.  
  
"You think I'd hit you." Nabiki blinked, and focused on Ranma's eyes. They were... different now. Steel had been replaced by rust. There was despair in his voice. "You really think I'd hit you... I'm a monster to you, aren't I?"  
  
Nabiki gulped, then reached out for him slightly. "Ranma... I don't... I mean-"  
  
Ranma turned away. "Feh. Forget it. Goodbye Nabiki. I guess I'll see you in school tomorrow." Ranma leapt out the window, careless, of course, that it was on the second floor. Nabiki stared from the center of the room, looking out among the rooftops of Nerima.  
  
'Okay, so maybe I could've handled that a little better... still, it's not like it's that big a deal.' Nabiki sighed and rested back on her bed, only now aware of how hard her heart was beating. How could someone, even Ranma, have this kind of effect on her?  
  
"Well, damn. This whole thing was a bust." Nabiki started to sit up.  
  
"Hiss!"  
  
Nabiki blinked. What was that?  
  
She stood up next to her bed, then located the source of the noise, hidden next to her waste basket.  
  
"What the...? A cat?"  
  
"Mrowr!"  
  
"YAH!!!"  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
"Oh, Ranma. I just finished making up Shampoo's room. Have you seen her?"  
  
Kasumi's voice startled Ranma out of his stupor, and he turned to her from where he leaned on the door to his room.  
  
"Er... no, actually. I was kind of wondering where she went myself."  
  
Kasumi frowned slightly as Ranma stared down at the ground. She wasn't quite sure, but there seemed to be something... off about the young Yagami. He looked as if someone had died.  
  
"Well, let me know if you find her. I think I'll go to bed."  
  
Kasumi blinked as Ranma entered the room and closed the door behind him, and adopted a worried expression on her face. Ranma was going to bed now? She hadn't even served dinner yet!  
  
  
  
Then her attention was diverted when she heard a loud thumping noise from down the hall.  
  
"Hey! Cut it out! Ow!"  
  
Kasumi walked up to Nabiki's room, and stared at the door curiously.  
  
Then she was almost smacked in the face as the door burst open, and Nabiki tore through the hall, running wildly down the stairs.  
  
"Get away from me!!"  
  
"Myowr!"  
  
Kasumi stared as a pink and purple blur streaked after her little sister. Within seconds, both had descended the stairs, and more noise reached the second floor as the chase continued on lower ground.  
  
"Oh dear. I do hope Nabiki's careful. She should know better than to take in wild cats." Frowning worriedly, Kasumi left to find the first aid kit.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Shampoo sat on the sill of Ranma's window, irritably cleaning her sleek, light pink fur with her tongue. For someone who wasn't a martial artist, that heartless tramp of a girl still had a mean kick when you had her cornered.  
  
She stretched lazily, feeling the soreness in her muscles fade away. Idly, she turned her head toward the night sky, filled with bright clusters of stars, and a shining half moon.  
  
Shampoo really would've preferred to go at Nabiki as a human, but after what she heard while eavesdropping (which she probably couldn't have accomplished as a human), she could hardly have waited to tear into the little witch. In retrospect, turning human first would have raised a few unwanted questions as to how she heard, not to mention that Ranma may not appreciate Nabiki being attacked, even if she did deserve it.  
  
Giving a soft, whining yawn, Shampoo jumped off the sill and into the darkened room.  
  
Identifying Ranma was easy, as Iori's larger frame rose and fell soundlessly. As Shampoo approached the pigtailed boy, he winced in his sleep, and he turned over.  
  
Shampoo padded up to him curiously, her tail swaying from side to side. Lifting a paw, she poked at Ranma's shoulder.  
  
"Meow." Her soft cry was ignored, and she nudged her head against Ranma's body, trying to elicit a reaction.  
  
Shampoo had to keep from crying out suddenly, and jumped back just in time to avoid being pinned beneath Ranma's shoulder as the slumbering Yagami rolled over yet again.  
  
Giving a little cat frown at her friend, Shampoo shrugged best she could, then curled up about a foot from Ranma's head and quickly fell into a deep slumber.  
  
  
  
Ranma turned over again, and fidgeted in his sleep. Cold sweat gradually began building on his face, and the thrashing became more desperate.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
"Yagami! I shall-"  
  
*Shrak!*  
  
"Urgh!" *Wham*  
  
The fool lay on the ground. Its blood flowed. Sweet blood.  
  
"D-Damn you... Yagami... I fight... on..."  
  
*Shick!*  
  
"Ugh!"  
  
"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!!"  
  
*Wham!*  
  
The fool lay still. It's blood flowed. Sweet blood. Sweet, red life. The other was running. This one was a waste of effort. The hunt was on.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Ranma swallowed deeply, though he did not wake.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
The strong one ran. It ran quickly, it did. The kill would be that more entertaining.  
  
"Leave me alone! Ranma! Snap out of it!!"  
  
"Shyaaaaaaaa!"  
  
*Boom!* *Boom!* *Boom!*  
  
The Earth burned. Fire. Fires consumed all. Fire wasn't enough. Blood was needed. Sweet blood...  
  
"KRAAAAAUGH!!!"  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Ranma turned over in his sleep, and his breathing became labored.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
*Smash!*  
  
*Thud*  
  
The other fool lay on the ground, comatose. Weak. Pitiful. This fool was even more a waste of time than the other.  
  
Blood. Strong blood. Sweet blood...  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Ranma curled up, his sheets coming off his body in his sleep.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
*Kshk!*  
  
"Aaah!! Argh..."  
  
The betrayer fell backwards, clutching its injury. It would die. It would die slowly. They would all die!  
  
Everything, dead! Everything, burned!!  
  
"Hyaaaaaaa...... raaaaaugh..." The blood flowed. Blood...  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Ranma turned again in his sleep, knocking the covers completely off as he started sweating more profusely.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Fire. Fire everywhere.  
  
The destroyer... fire destroyed all... It did not matter.  
  
The strong one... it mattered. The hunt was not yet over. The fanged one would suffer and die.  
  
The fire burned... flames of red and orange and yellow...  
  
......Blood......  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Ranma's breathing slowed slightly, and his thrashing seemed to calm down.  
  
He slowly stretched out from his fetal position, his eyes screwed shut. His body suddenly tightened.  
  
And then it relaxed, and Ranma once again drifted off into a dreamless sleep.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Sometime around midnight, Nodoka arrived back home, wrapped in a sweater and carrying several documents with her.  
  
Her son and husband were back in Japan. Why they hadn't come straight home was beyond her, but she had found some leads as to where she could find a man and his son, both with the power to throw purple fire. The fact that people didn't really treat it as anything more than odd was aggravating, but Nodoka hardly let that stop her.  
  
As she headed to her room, Nodoka stopped for a moment to peek into Yurumi's room, to see her daughter fast asleep on her bed, snuggled against a large stuffed panda doll. Nodoka couldn't help but smile brightly at the sight.  
  
Her stop at Ranma's room was far more somber, and Nodoka felt depression creep up on her as she stared at the [Danger! Fire zone!] sign tacked to her son's door.  
  
With determination, she hurried to the room she had shared with her husband over a year ago. If Iori was or Ranma were back in Japan, she WOULD find them. It was only a matter of time.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Ranma stirred slightly at Iori's touch, and started mumbling as he blinked his eyes open.  
  
"Wha? 'S it mornin' 'ready?"  
  
Iori just shook him harder. "Come on kid, time to get up."  
  
Ranma eventually stood up drowsily, and rubbed his eyes. "Good morning Pop," he greeted absently, and was about to get dressed when he heard something below him.  
  
"Meow."  
  
Ranma blinked and looked down. "What the? A cat? I didn't know the Tendos owned a cat."  
  
Iori looked down at the small light pink feline with purple stripes on its feet and tail as it stared up at Ranma. "I don't think they do. I woke up and found it sleeping next to you."  
  
Shampoo walked up to Ranma and nuzzled her head against his ankle affectionately, purring loudly.  
  
Iori shrugged and walked out, having already cleaned up and gotten dressed. If Ranma wanted a pet, he didn't care.  
  
Ranma leaned down as the feline continued to wrap around his ankle contentedly, and ran a hand over her.  
  
He smiled slightly as the purring increased, and the cat arched up to force its body into his hand.  
  
"Well, aren't you a cute little thing. Huh. Where'd you come from?" Ranma was hardly expecting an answer, and Shampoo didn't feel fit to give one. She allowed herself to be pushed onto her side as Ranma started scratching her neck behind her ears.  
  
"Hey, you're female, huh?"  
  
Ranma stared as the cat's hind legs flinched closed, blocking his view. He shrugged and continued to pet her gently.  
  
"Hmmmm... no collar or anything. So are you a pet or what?" Ranma frowned to himself, then stood up and stretched.  
  
Shampoo protested the sudden end to the attention, but Ranma ignored her mewing as he took a change of clothes and exited the room, heading for the furo.  
  
Looking behind him he could see the cat following him, and briefly wondered why this creature had formed such a fixation on him when he'd never seen her before. He dismissed the thought immediately as he entered the changing room, then held the door open long enough so that the cat could get through without being crushed, since she seemed intent on following him in.  
  
It kept up with the meows until Ranma began to strip off his undershirt and boxers, at which point it became totally silent.  
  
Ranma threw the sweaty, soiled articles in the laundry with a disgusted grunt, then turned to see the cat staring intently at him.  
  
"And what are you looking at?" he asked, smiling slightly. She meowed happily in response, but her gaze didn't waver.  
  
Ranma grabbed a towel from the rack and wrapped it around himself, then entered the bath area, once again holding the door open for the cat. To his surprise though, she hesitated, then sat back on her haunches, staring at him.  
  
Ranma shrugged, then closed the door.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Kasumi frowned as she watched Nabiki pick at her breakfast in disinterest. For some reason, Nabiki seemed to be depressed today.  
  
'I wonder if it has anything to do with the way Ranma was acting last night. Akane did say that they had gone out on a date.'  
  
Most people that met Kasumi assumed she was an airhead. That she was totally clueless and utterly naive, and that she couldn't see anything wrong with anybody or anything without the aid of a huge neon sign. They were wrong.  
  
'Or maybe it's those scratches. They probably irritated her and kept her up late.'  
  
...... Well, okay, mostly wrong.  
  
  
  
The middle Tendo daughter continued poking her sausage with her chopsticks.  
  
The scratches actually had itched during the night, but that was hardly what had kept her up.  
  
Ranma had invaded her dreams the previous night. Visions of the pigtailed boy wouldn't stay out of her head.  
  
Eyes haunted her thoughts, even as she squatted down before the table. Murderous, crazed yellow windows, tearing her apart. Angry, sharp blue sapphires, boring into her with their pain.  
  
Just about everyone outside Nabiki's family assumed she was a cold, heartless mercenary who would sell out anybody if she got the chance. That she considered others only as tools for her own ends, and that she had absolutely no conscience. They were wrong.  
  
'Damn you, Ranma. You think you can talk to me like that, do you? And after YOU attacked ME? You've got a lot to answer for, Yagami.'  
  
...... Well, she'd had a rough night...... oh, the hell with it.  
  
  
  
"Good morning." Ranma's general greeting failed to rouse Akane, Soun, or Iori from their meals. Kasumi quickly greeted him, and Nabiki turned and frowned as she realized he was quite pointedly not looking at her.  
  
Annoyed that he'd try something so childish as ignoring her, she decided to test how far he'd take it.  
  
"So Ranma, where's your friend? What was her name? Soap?"  
  
To her surprise, Ranma didn't hesitate in answering, and she was further interested to see a reasonable imitation of Iori's emotionless face in his stare.  
  
"Her name's Shampoo. And I don't know where she is. She goes where she wants." His tone was perfectly even. Far too even. It was blindingly obvious he was angry at Nabiki, and for some reason that made the mercenary girl feel even more irritated. Ranma, for his part, only wondered why Nabiki had several little band-aids on her arms before pushing her existence out of his mind and concentrating on breakfast.  
  
Her eyes followed Ranma as he sat down next to Akane, and she finally noticed what had followed him into the dining room.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! Get it away from me!!"  
  
Ranma, Akane, Soun, and Iori all stared as Nabiki leapt up from the table, and backed herself up into the corner farthest from where Ranma was sitting.  
  
"Uh... get what away from you?" Akane asked slowly.  
  
"That!! That... demonic cat!!" Nabiki screamed hysterically.  
  
Ranma blinked, then looked down as said demonic cat hopped onto his lap and rubbed her head against him, purring.  
  
Akane noticed the creature for the first time. "Awwww... it's so cute!" Akane smiled and started stroking the creature's back.  
  
Ranma nodded absently as he watched Nabiki, concern momentarily overcoming his anger.  
  
Nabiki gasped and yelled out to Akane. "No!! Don't touch it! It's evil!!"  
  
Ranma turned to Akane as he started scratching the feline around her neck. "Do you have any idea what she's talking about?"  
  
Akane shook her head. "Nope. He looks fine to me. Where'd you find him?"  
  
"Her," Ranma corrected. "I just woke up, and she was in my room. I thought you might have seen her before." Ranma smiled down at it, and it meowed up at him. "I think I'll call her Maya."  
  
Akane nodded absently, and continued rubbing the cat's back as Nabiki continued gibbering.  
  
"Kasumi! That's the cat! The one that attacked me!"  
  
Kasumi gave the cat a worried look, even as it leaned against Ranma's stomach and rumbled contentedly.  
  
"Oh dear. It looks okay now, doesn't it?"  
  
"Come now, Nabiki, it's just a cat." Soun agreed.  
  
Nabiki stared in disbelief at her sister and father, then glared down at the small animal rubbing herself against Ranma. If she didn't know any better, she'd have called the look it was giving her smug.  
  
  
  
Once they coaxed Nabiki into sitting back at the table, breakfast had gone mostly as usual, with the minor exception that Nabiki would leap back every time Maya yawned.  
  
School also went more or less as usual, though Ranma nearly choked on the lunch Hana had brought him when he heard two other students wondering aloud why Kuno hadn't come to school that day.  
  
  
  
Meanwhile, Kasumi got a small surprise when she tried to take a bath, only to find Shampoo already in the furo. Which was odd, as there was no indication of her entering the bath-such as discarded clothes, missing towels, or the "occupied" sign-but naturally, Kasumi only apologized for not checking first and didn't give it another thought.  
  
About the same time, a traveler asked a random passer-by for the name of any prestigious dojos in the area. The passer-by had only blurted out the Tendo Dojo as a joke, really, but the traveler had seemed interested, so he had given the young man directions anyway. Young fool, really. Anyone who would challenge, learn from, or for that matter, go near, the Tendo Dojo was either stupid or crazy.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
"Get back here Ranma!"  
  
"Aw, c'mon Akane! Knock it off! I'm sorry already! Geez! Stupid tomboy..."  
  
"What did you say?!"  
  
"Gyah!" Ranma dodged the hurled bookbag (Akane's third one that week), and then backflipped overhead as Akane herself charged through the space he had been occupying.  
  
Releasing yet another scream of frustration, Akane leapt to the attack. Ranma hopped backwards as he blocked each strike, making sure to keep his pace even with Akane's advance.  
  
Before long Akane was breathing hard with her wasted effort, and they had almost reached the Tendo Dojo.  
  
Smirking in a particularly aggravating manner, Ranma stuck out his tongue at the youngest Tendo daughter, then backflipped over a corner of the wall, putting himself on the same street as his temporary home.  
  
He jogged up to the front gate, only to slow down as he saw someone staring at it.  
  
That "someone" was a young man, about his age, with messy, shoulder-length blond hair. He wore a simple outfit of black jeans and gray sneakers, coupled with a faded t-shirt. Over the shirt, he wore a denim jacket with a black "omega" symbol on the back, as well as a medium-sized backpack; he was obviously used to traveling. However, the thing that immediately caught Ranma's attention was his hat, which was a red baseball cap with a metal plate on the front.  
  
  
  
The newcomer noticed Ranma staring, and put a hand to the back of his head. Grinning, he waved hello, before saying rather awkwardly, "Hello there! Is this the Tendo Dojo?"  
  
Ranma nodded. "Yeah, who are-"  
  
*WHAM!!!*  
  
Akane lifted her mallet up off the ground with a satisfied smirk on her face.  
  
"Ha! Serves you right, jerk!"  
  
About then she noticed the newcomer, whose eyes were currently trying to overtake his entire face.  
  
"Huh? Who are you?"  
  
The young man stared at her in shock, then slowly tore his gaze away to look at her hammer, before moving again to stare at Ranma's flattened body.  
  
"Is... uh... is he going to be okay?" A sweatdrop rolled down the back of his head.  
  
Akane snorted and kicked Ranma's prone form, eliciting a groan in response.  
  
"Yeah, he'll be fine. Unfortunately."  
  
He stared at her uneasily, and then slowly answered her question. "Uh... my name is Tomas Bogard. I'm here to challenge this dojo..."  
  
Akane's expression hardened, and she nodded decisively. "All right then. Go around the back, and me and my dad will be around in just a moment. But I warn you, it's not gonna be an easy fight!"  
  
Tomas smiled slightly, though he still cast a glance at Ranma, who was just starting to peel himself from the concrete walk. "I certainly hope not. I didn't come here for target practice." Giving a good natured grin, he opened the gate, and then hastily stepped aside as Akane stalked through toward the house.  
  
Ranma's vision had just cleared up enough so that he could tell the fuzzy gray of the sidewalk from the fuzzy gray of everything else when a strong hand gripped his arm and hauled him to his feet.  
  
"Hey, are you okay man?"  
  
Ranma shook his head to clear it, then chuckled. "Yeah, it's all right. She does that a lot."  
  
Tomas stared at him. "She does? Why?"  
  
Ranma shrugged. "Either 'cause she's crazy, or 'cause it's that time of the month. Either way, I lose."  
  
Tomas gave him another odd stare, then turned around and walked through the gates before heading around the house to the dojo.  
  
Ranma watched Tomas go, then started walking toward the dojo himself. This might just get interesting.  
  
  
  
Ranma leaned himself up against the inside wall of the dojo, watching as Tomas put his backpack down and looked around a bit.  
  
"Nice..." Tomas pulled off his cap for a moment, rubbed his head, then slipped it back on before turning to Ranma. "You live here?"  
  
Ranma shrugged. "I'm staying here for a little while. My dad knows the owner of this dojo." Ranma looked to the side, and saw the shadows of Akane, Nabiki, and their father approaching the dojo. "Good luck, by the way."  
  
Tomas was nodding and facing the door that was opening, but still caught what Ranma muttered much more softly after that.  
  
"Not that you'll need it..."  
  
Tomas raised an eyebrow at Ranma, and then refocused on the two girls and the man entering the dojo.  
  
He walked up to them, then bowed respectfully.  
  
"Mr. Tendo, I wish to challenge your dojo. I will fight one battle, no holds barred. First one unconscious or incapacitated is the victor. If I win, then I request only a meal and a room for the night. Do you accept?"  
  
Akane and Nabiki stared quizzically at Tomas, while Soun quickly nodded. Tomas stepped forward, then blinked as Akane did the same.  
  
"Er... hold it. What are you doing?"  
  
Akane glared at him, guessing the source of the young man's confusion. "I'm your opponent!"  
  
Tomas blinked again. "You? Are you sure?"  
  
Akane's glare intensified. "What? Do you have some problem with fighting a girl?"  
  
Tomas gulped and chuckled nervously. "No! No! I'm just... uh, surprised, that's all. I mean, isn't he the master of this school?" Tomas pointed to Soun.  
  
Akane shrugged as Soun put a hand to the back of his head in embarrassment. "Dad's been out of practice for a while. I'm the heir to this school!"  
  
Tomas looked around somewhat desperately, then pointed at Ranma. "What about him?"  
  
Ranma grinned as Akane started to fume. "I don't practice their school."  
  
Akane growled and got into an offensive stance. "Stop stalling! Don't you underestimate me just because I'm a girl!"  
  
Tomas shook his head. "No, that's not it at all! If you're the best there is around here, then I'm ready when you are."  
  
Akane's teeth clenched. "What do you mean 'the best there is'? Just try me!"  
  
Tomas nodded, and he sighed wearily. "All right, all right. Come on, let's get this started."  
  
Akane was thoroughly annoyed that her foe didn't seem to be taking this very seriously, but managed to put a reign on her temper as Nabiki walked up to them.  
  
Nabiki stuck her arm out between the two combatants, and took a quick glance at Ranma, who was leaning against the far corner of the room. He looked totally disinterested in the battle; his head was down, leaving his hair eclipsing his face, and his arms were crossed under his chest.  
  
Pushing the thought aside, Nabiki raised her arm up and jumped back. "Begin!"  
  
  
  
Akane was soon sweating from the effort as she pressed her attack relentlessly.  
  
She threw a haymaker that was blocked, then tried a legsweep. The sweep hit, but without much force, and Tomas rolled easily with the blow onto the ground and back onto his feet.  
  
To the average observer, namely Nabiki, it would appear that Akane was doing fairly well. Soun was a different story. Akane hadn't landed one good hit, and all her glancing blows didn't seem to be bothering Tomas at all. Also, Tomas's own attacks had been few and far between. To Soun, it was obvious that he was holding back, though he couldn't tell how much. And Akane was tiring quickly. She had a knack for ending her battles quickly, which had been enough with those weaker than her, or Kuno when he was holding back. However, it stunted her endurance when it came to an even fight against someone with good defense, and Soun found himself being thankful that no more than a meal and a room was at stake.  
  
"Hyah!" Akane tried an uppercut, but Tomas moved quickly, avoiding the blow and grabbing Akane's elbow before slamming his other arm into Akane's side. She staggered backward, and took a moment to reassess her opponent as he stayed in a ready stance a meter or so away from her.  
  
Ranma's voice was completely unexpected.  
  
"You might as well stop playing around with her you know. It's not helping anything."  
  
Akane blinked, then growled at Ranma. "What do you mean 'playing around' with me?! Take that back!"  
  
Tomas's voice came next. "Well, I didn't want to make her feel bad..."  
  
*Crash*  
  
Akane reflected on how sturdy the wooden floor of the dojo was as she hit it with her face.  
  
"Hey! What's that supposed to mean!!" As Akane got up, she realized that Tomas wasn't even looking at her anymore, but at Ranma.  
  
Ranma chuckled, his head still lowered so that his hair covered his eyes. "She'll feel bad no matter what you do, and then try to take it out on you later, so you might as well not go so easy on her. The more you hurt her pride, the more she'll hurt you later. I speak from experience." Ranma nodded sagely, then dropped to the floor right before a barbell smashed into the spot where his head had been.  
  
"Shut up! What do you know!" Akane glared fiercely at Ranma, then turned her death gaze toward Tomas. "And you! Are you really holding back on me?!"  
  
Tomas bigsweated heavily. "Well... yeah... I mean-"  
  
"WELL STOP IT!!!" Akane's shout blew the hat right off of Tomas's head, and he nodded frantically.  
  
Akane released a deep breath, then settled into a stance, then charged with her trademark hammer punch...  
  
Right into Tomas's foot.  
  
Akane wasn't sure what happened after that, but by the time it stopped, she felt the hard wood of the dojo floor under her back, and her body hurt all over.  
  
  
  
"Waaaaaaah!! Akane! Speak to me!" Three guesses who that was. And the first two don't count.  
  
Akane groaned, then started to get up. "Dad, I'm fine! Calm down!"  
  
Nabiki shook her head at the pathetic display, and then turned toward Tomas, who looked rather embarrassed.  
  
"All right... Bogard, was it? You win. Dinner's at seven, and Kasumi can set you up with a room in the house. Check-out time is at nine tomorrow; if your stuff isn't out by then, you're paying room and board."  
  
Tomas blinked in response, and was about to say something in return, when Akane launched a sudden protest from her position on the floor.  
  
"Hey! It's not over yet!" Akane started to get up, then winced and fell back into a sitting position, ignoring her father's renewed sobbing. "You said the match isn't over until one of us is knocked out!"  
  
"Or incapacitated," Ranma cut in suddenly, walking up to Tomas, but addressing Akane. "There's a difference between determination and stupidity, just like there's a difference between getting in over your head, and literally asking for a beating." Ranma ignored the sudden reddish glow from Akane's side of the dojo, and addressed Tomas, who was staring at Akane nervously. "You must be kind of disappointed. Care for a real fight?"  
  
Tomas gave him a guarded expression, and idly adjusted his cap. "Sure. You think you're up to it?"  
  
Ranma ducked under another hurled barbell, then nodded as he stood up straight again. "No problem. My name's Ranma Yagami, by the way."  
  
Tomas blinked. "Yagami? As in... uh... Iori Yagami?"  
  
Before Ranma could nod, another voice behind Tomas made itself known. "You know me?"  
  
Tomas froze, then slowly turned around. He hadn't detected anyone behind him, and there were very few people who could sneak up on him.  
  
His eyes widened to nearly take up his entire face when he beheld what was behind him. The same person that he had seen numerous times in his father's old collection of photographs from the King of Fighters tournaments. The same person that had defeated his father in combat every time they had fought.  
  
Tomas gulped. "You're... you're Iori Yagami... THE Iori Yagami......" Tomas backed up slightly, and then turned to look at Ranma. "Which would make you..." Tomas stared at Ranma as if the pigtailed boy had grown horns and a forked tail.  
  
Ranma smirked and crossed his arms over his chest. "Something wrong, Bogard?"  
  
Iori raised an eyebrow. "Bogard, huh? So that would make you Terry's kid, right?"  
  
Tomas nodded mutely.  
  
Nabiki watched the whole scene in confusion and frustration. She HATED not knowing what was going on!  
  
  
  
Ranma clapped Tomas on the shoulder, bringing the young street fighter out of his astonished trance. "Well, how about that fight?"  
  
Tomas stared at him for a moment, then glanced around a bit, as if considering a break for the exit.  
  
After a moment though, his resolve hardened, and he nodded. "Right. Let's do this." Tomas got in a ready stance.  
  
Ranma shook his head. "Not here. This place'll fall apart. Come on outside." Tomas stared quizzically as Ranma walked out of the dojo, but followed without further hesitation.  
  
Iori's expression hadn't altered, as usual, but he soon followed the two young fighters.  
  
Nabiki didn't really have anything better to do than watch two people beat each other senseless, and was rather curious as to just how strong Tomas was, so she too followed, after warning Akane not to move too much.  
  
Akane protested loudly and tried to follow as well, only to have her father grab onto her fiercely and beg her not to aggravate her injuries.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Meanwhile, the only two people in the Tendo household not aware of the events in the dojo were busy preparing a feast fit for an emperor.  
  
"How this? Shampoo put in too much?"  
  
Kasumi glanced over at the boiling pot, then smiled and shook her head slightly. "That's perfect Shampoo. It's so nice of you to help me like this!"  
  
Shampoo giggled. "Is okay! Shampoo know how much Ranma eat! He eat all you food if you no careful!"  
  
Both women shared a slight giggle at that, and Shampoo went back to stirring the broth as Kasumi went into the pantry to look for spices.  
  
The teenage Amazon couldn't help but admire the lovely view from the kitchen window, with the cloudless sky offering an unshadowed view of the surrounding gardens. Kasumi just kept everything so neat and tidy, Shampoo was already starting to feel her slight homesickness fade away. Home was home after all, and just because she had lived in a wooden hut rather than a modern house most of her life didn't diminish that. Kasumi did, however.  
  
Shampoo started humming as she added some more sauce to the broth.  
  
*Sheeeee-BOOOOM!!!*  
  
Then she gasped and dropped her spoon, as twin lances of red and purple erupted into the sky.  
  
  
  
*************************************************************************** *******  
  
End Chapter 4 


	5. The Return

"Excuse me, I have an appointment with Professor Nimomiya."  
  
The young woman at the desk sighed, then looked up mechanically, adjusting her glasses as she did so.  
  
"Name?" She asked.  
  
The large man standing before her in a large suit of armor coughed into his fist, then took a quick look around at the patients still waiting before replying softly.  
  
"Krauser. You'll find it under Krauser." The German noble straightened, doing his best to look as dignified and nonchalant as possible.  
  
The clerical worker nodded absently, thumbing through a notepad. "Yes Mr. Krauser. I've got it right here. The Professor will see you in just a moment. Please take a seat."  
  
Nodding quickly, Wolfgang Krauser turned away from the reception desk and squeezed his impressive frame into one of the cheap wooden chairs lining the outside wall of the office.  
  
Before long, his attention was distracted by the sound of the door to the main office opening. Looking over toward it, he could see the tall, skinny form of the doctor bringing up the rear behind a young man with brown hair and a deadly-serious expression on his face.  
  
"Now all I'm zaying Heero, is zat you must learn to enjoy yourzelf! Have zome fun! Get avay from vork! And for ze love of God, ztop tryingk to kill your girlfriend! Zat iz not ze vay to a healzy relationship!"  
  
The boy didn't even look back as he exited the room, and the psychiatrist shook his head sadly.  
  
"Now zat idiot iz a vaste of time. *Sigh* Next patient?" The professor looked around, and the secretary poked her head up.  
  
"Next is Mr. Krauser, Professor."  
  
The professor nodded as Krauser stood up. "Ah! Good! Good! Come right zis vay, Mr. Krauzer!" The psychiatrist turned around, and walked back into his office.  
  
Krauser stopped to untangle his cape from the chair, and then followed the professor into the small, soundproofed room, closing the door behind him.  
  
Professor Nimomiya sat down in a leather recliner, then gestured to a large plush couch next to him. "Pleaze, pleaze, zit down!"  
  
Krauser walked across the room, and slowly lowered himself onto the couch, which gave creaking protest as he did so.  
  
*Rrrrrrrrk...* *Wham!* The legs of the piece of furniture snapped under the weight of the armor, and the entire structure fell a whole two inches to the floor.  
  
"Um... sorry about that." Krauser sweatdropped.  
  
"No problem. I'll juzt add it to your bill." Nimomiya cleared his throat. "Now vhat zeemz to be ze problem, Mister Krauzer?"  
  
Krauser's expression hardened. "I'm prone... to violence, I guess you could say... actually... you could say I live only to fight. You see, I've had this obsession with fighting ever since I was a teenager..."  
  
The psychiatrist nodded. "I zee... zometimez, a young boy vill develop problemz vith violence if he growz up in a poor neighborhood, or in any zituation vhere zurvival iz difficult."  
  
"I'm a noble," Krauser stated flatly, "I have more money then you'll ever see in your life."  
  
The professor blinked. "Ah. Vell zen, vhat do YOU zink iz ze problem? Zink back to your childhood."  
  
Krauser frowned. "Well, I didn't exactly have a normal childhood. You see, before my father died, he tried to teach me all he could about being strong and how to fight. He taught me to wall off my emotions, and be merciless to my enemies. He never raised me like most fathers. Never played with me or taught me about the challenges in life, or took me to a baseball game..."  
  
Nimomiya nodded his head. "Yez, I zee... you zaid your fazer died? Do you zomehow feel... rezbonzible for zis, perhapz?"  
  
Krauser snorted, and grinned slightly. "I should. I killed him with my bare hands."  
  
The psychiatrist blinked, then nodded and made several marks on the clipboard in his hands. "I zee... zo, how do you deal vith zis?"  
  
Krauser shrugged. "I ignore it. Though... every year, I allow a day where I allow myself to feel... sentimental."  
  
Nimomiya raised an eyebrow. "Yez... perhapz more zan a day may be acceptable? Ze death of a fazer iz a heavy veight to bear."  
  
Krauser snorted again. "Please. He was just a weak old man. It was his own fault for not being strong enough."  
  
"I zink I zee ze problem here," Nimomiya stated tiredly. "Krauzer, your anger at your fazer has manifezted and grown, to ze point zat you muzt fight to validate your life and your fazer'z death. You know you are rezbonzible, but vhat vas the zource of zis anger? I zenze you have zome unfinished buzinez vith your fazer, buzinez zat should have been finished vith his death, but iz not?"  
  
Krauser frowned. "Ridiculous. I... I mean..."  
  
"Are you zure? Vere you juzt followingk in hiz footztepz? Or iz zere anozer reazon?"  
  
Krauser's face twitched slightly. "I... I was just... he always taught me that the weak... I mean... and the strong..."  
  
Suddenly, the dam broke, and the large German noble clenched his teeth as tears started pouring from his eyes.  
  
"Damn it! Father! Why? Why couldn't you just take me to the stupid ball game? That's all I ever wanted! To see a damnable baseball game with you!! *Sob* Just one game! Just ONE!!! But always with the training, and the fighting! And now you're GONE!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!"  
  
Nimomiya watched for a bit, and then, as Krauser didn't look to be stopping any time soon, got up and opened the door.  
  
"Mary, vould you cancel Mr. Yamazakii'z appointment pleaze? I just made a breakzrough vith a new patient."  
  
The secretary nodded, and then sighed wearily as the door to the office closed once more. With any luck, the client wouldn't threaten to come down and kill them all like the last time his appointment got bumped.  
  
  
  
And now...  
  
You can leave. The good part's over.  
  
  
  
Yagami 1/2  
  
A Ranma 0.5/King of Fighters Crossover  
  
by Black Dragon  
  
revcoll@peoplepc.com  
  
http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/fanficlair/index.html  
  
  
  
Standard disclaimer applies. I don't own these people, and I don't get paid for this. I really wish I did. Considering how much effort I put into it... sheesh. Well, as long as I've got extra space, I'd like to include one of my favorite quotes from Joseph Stalin: "When you kill one, it is a tragedy. When you kill ten million, it is a statistic."  
  
Explains a lot, doesn't it?  
  
  
  
Chapter 5  
  
The Return  
  
*************************************************************************** *******  
  
  
  
Ranma grinned in anticipation as he stepped onto the hard-packed dirt of the abandoned lot, his hands stuffed in his pockets. Tomas followed closely behind him, hesitantly at first, but faster after a bit of thought.  
  
Ranma stopped in the center of the lot, and looked around.  
  
"Well, it's a little smaller than I'd like, but it'll have to do." Ranma turned around and smirked slightly at Tomas. "You ready, Bogard?"  
  
Tomas nodded. "Hey, whatever you say. I just hope you're ready for this." He smirked, and adjusted his cap slightly.  
  
  
  
Nearby, Iori, Soun, Akane, and Nabiki were all watching the impending battle.  
  
"Stupid jerks... I hope they both end up with broken legs..." Akane continued muttering dark thoughts even as it became increasingly clear that she no longer had any attention.  
  
Soun turned toward Iori. "What do you think, Yagami?"  
  
Yagami slowly turned his head to stare at him with one eye, and shrugged lazily. "Ranma'll do all right. If this is really Terry's kid though, he won't be breathing easy afterward."  
  
  
  
Ranma and Tomas stared at each other for a few moments, and then Ranma lowered his eyes and slowly removed his hands from his pockets.  
  
"Come on."  
  
Tomas took that invitation, and charged forward at blinding speed with a straight haymaker.  
  
Ranma crossed his arms together to block, and was pushed back a good two meters before he forcefully uncrossed his arms, knocking Tomas aside.  
  
The young Bogard recovered quickly, and landed a roundhouse on Ranma's back. Ranma took the blow with a grunt, and used the moment to land an equally punishing left hook to Tomas's jaw. Tomas staggered backward for a moment, then backflipped away as Ranma's foot swept under him.  
  
Tomas landed unsteadily, and wiped a bit of blood from his mouth. 'Shoot! He's as fast as me! And even stronger...' "All right then. I guess I have to stop holding back so much." Tomas grinned when Ranma's expression didn't change, then threw his arms up. "Burn knuckle!"  
  
Ranma was totally unprepared for the speed that Tomas shot forward, and his entire body was blasted backward as the ki-powered punch hit him dead in the chest.  
  
Ranma rolled backward as he hit the ground, and dug his foot into the hard- packed dirt to stop his momentum.  
  
Tomas grinned and flexed his hand slightly.  
  
Ranma grinned in return. "So that's how it's gonna be, eh? All right! Yami barai!"  
  
Tomas cocked back a fist as the purple fire wave rocketed toward him. "Power wave!"  
  
Akane and Nabiki gasped as the two projectiles detonated on each other, blasting dirt and rock into the air and billowing dust through the tracks the attacks had made in the ground.  
  
Ranma couldn't see his opponent, but it was easy enough to guess what would follow, even without the loud shout from the other side of the smokescreen.  
  
Ranma charged forward, pushing off low to the ground and twisting to push his right elbow toward the settling dust.  
  
*Shhhh-THOCK!!!*  
  
The blue red energy surrounding Tomas's fist streaked harmlessly over Ranma's head, stopping when Tomas's stomach smashed into Ranma's elbow. As the young Bogard found himself struggling to breathe, Ranma swept his left hand up and hit the heel of his palm hard against Tomas's chin, knocking him back into the small crater.  
  
Tomas groaned on the ground, and Ranma stepped over to him slowly.  
  
"Rising Tackle!"  
  
Ranma was totally unprepared for Tomas to launch himself up with his hand, and was tossed back as the kick drilled into his shoulder.  
  
Ranma struggled to his feet quickly, and lashed out with a kick to deflect a punch from Tomas. Tomas backed away a step, then threw his arms out again. "Burn knuckle!"  
  
Ranma didn't have time to move into Tomas's defenses this time, and barely managed to leap upwards as Tomas sailed past him.  
  
Ranma landed, then turned to see Tomas slide to a stop unsteadily.  
  
"All right! Let's do this!" Tomas held both fists above him, and a blazing red aura flashed around his form. "Omega wave!!" Tomas slammed both fists hard into the Earth before him, and his red aura seemed to drain into the ground within a split second.  
  
*Boom!!* *Krrrrrrrrr*  
  
Ranma flinched back slightly as a wide tower of red energy blasted upward, then receded slightly and picked up speed toward him.  
  
'Well, what the hell. I hope this works.' Ranma's body flashed as purple fire rushed up from the ground around him in massive tendrils, and seeped into his hand instantly. "Gouka dan!!" Ranma slammed his hand flat onto the ground, and a arrow of dark, condensed purple blasted forward on the ground, spraying dirt and rock in its wake.  
  
*KA-KROOOOM!!!!* Explosions of red spikes jutted outward from within an expanding dome of violet flame, and Ranma's form was lost to the spectators' eyes as light and dark ripped the empty lot apart.  
  
  
  
Akane and Nabiki were aghast at the sight of so much destruction, and were struggling to stay on their feet as the shock waves rolled over them.  
  
'He wasn't just holding back... This is incredible!' Akane couldn't help but be impressed at the sight, and in turn couldn't help but get angry at the fact that Ranma and Tomas had a good reason for taking her so lightly.  
  
"Yagami! Such power! What is that boy capable of?!" Soun held his hand over his eyes, scanning the still falling debris for any sign of Ranma.  
  
Iori's expression, predictably, had remained completely neutral throughout the entire battle. "This is a new one on me. Bogard never used a move like that, and I never taught Ranma that."  
  
  
  
Tomas coughed as the dust blew into him from the shock waves, and covered his eyes to peer into the blast site.  
  
Then he hunched over suddenly, clutching his stomach. Charging at burn- knuckle speed into an elbow had HURT, and after expending the last of his energy to generate as big an omega wave as possible (in retrospect, he had really gone overboard on that), he couldn't ignore it any longer. But Ranma had been caught in the blast, and had taken his own injuries.  
  
Tomas collapsed onto his knees, breathing hard and holding his stomach with one arm. "It's over. I won."  
  
"Not really." Tomas's eyes widened as Ranma stepped out of the swiftly settling smokescreen.  
  
Ranma walked over to his foe calmly, then stopped just a foot away from him.  
  
Tomas stared up wide-eyed.  
  
*Bop!* Ranma hit the other boy over the head, and Tomas fell onto the ground, his cap falling down next to him.  
  
  
  
"I win." Ranma sighed wearily after the declaration, then pulled Tomas over his shoulder and turned toward the dojo. Iori turned and followed him as he passed by.  
  
The others didn't, and Ranma stopped and looked back at them. "Hey, you guys coming? It's gettin' late, and I'm hungry." Not waiting for a response, he shifted Tomas's position over his shoulder and crossed the street.  
  
Akane watched as he left, then turned her attention back to the large crater that had swallowed the smaller earlier one. If Ranma had that sort of power...  
  
"Maybe he can teach me to do that!" Excited at the new prospect, and forgetting entirely that she hated Ranma's guts, Akane turned to follow Nabiki to the Tendo compound.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
"Ouch! Hey, watch it!" Ranma winced as Shampoo tightened the bandage around his shoulder.  
  
Shampoo ignored him and started tying the bandage. "Ranma no weak, so no act weak. Is you okay now?"  
  
Ranma nodded irritably, and glanced over at Tomas, who was still unconscious and lying on the couch with a wet washcloth on his head.  
  
"I do hope he wakes up soon. He'll miss dinner otherwise." Kasumi glanced at the insensate boy before setting down the dish on the table, which was immediately bombarded by Ranma's chopsticks.  
  
As the others began serving themselves, Akane fumed. "Come on! You can train me a little, right?"  
  
Ranma rolled his eyes as he popped a roll into his mouth. "No Akane, I can't." Shampoo raised another roll to his mouth, and he swallowed it up before he even realized that he was being fed.  
  
Akane resisted the urge to create more first aid work for Shampoo; she needed something from Ranma, after all. "Well, why not?"  
  
Ranma stared curiously at Shampoo, who just smiled innocently and waited to pop another sushi roll into his mouth. She was always doing weird stuff like this around him for some reason. Must be a Chinese thing.  
  
"Well, for one thing, you can't use the Yagami power. And even if I could teach you, you'd just use it for evil anyway." Ranma stated matter-of- factly. "Shampoo, I can feed myself just fine. I'm not hurt that badly."  
  
Akane stood up at the accusation. "Evil?! What do you mean, evil?!"  
  
Ranma stared up at her, then sighed and scooted away from Shampoo a bit. "It's like this. You're a stupid, flat-chested tomboy."  
  
Soun only had time to snatch the plate of sushi rolls from the table before it was lifted from the floor.  
  
*WHAM!!!*  
  
Shampoo blinked as Akane lifted the table for another strike, then got up angrily and grabbed one of its legs. "What you think you doing?!"  
  
Akane redirected her glare at Shampoo. "Giving him what he deserves!"  
  
By this time, Ranma had pried his face out of the floorboards, and spoke to Akane off-handedly. "You see that? Now what if, instead of picking up a table and hitting something that ticked you off, you could throw a gouka dan? You'd burn the house down, best case scenario. You need better control before you can even learn these types of attacks, much less use them."  
  
Ranma grabbed the table, still suspended between the two girls, and yanked it down back onto the damaged floor. "Hmph. Hell, I need better control," he muttered darkly.  
  
Shampoo watched worriedly as Ranma got up slowly, then walked despondently up the stairs.  
  
Nabiki watched as well, but her thoughts were bordering more on disgust than worry. 'He looks so pathetic now... but he looked so happy before, when he was fighting. It's like all the vitality's gone.' Nabiki rolled her eyes and turned away. 'I'm surrounded by psychos.'  
  
  
  
Akane sat down angrily. "Stupid jerk. Where does he get off, acting all high and mighty like that?"  
  
"He strong, you weak. Ranma mighty, so Ranma act mighty. Akane have problem, not Ranma!"  
  
Akane turned red for a moment, then shot up and turned to glare at Shampoo, who was staring at Akane disdainfully with her arms crossed under her chest.  
  
"Who are you calling WEAK?!?!" Akane's fist flew towards Shampoo's smirk.  
  
*Wham!* Unfortunately for Akane, it wasn't her fist that made the impact, as her face met the exact same floorboards that Ranma had made an impression in before. Groaning, she looked up to find that Shampoo had somehow gotten behind her, and had her foot sticking out where Akane had stepped.  
  
"Akane! Are you all right?!" Soun stood up to look over the table, and Nabiki shook her head.  
  
"Poor little sister. Just doesn't know when to quit."  
  
Shampoo stood up straight, then stared condescendingly at Akane. "In China, is rude for guest beat up host, even if host deserve beating, so Shampoo just give warning. Shampoo no act like Ranma; you hit Shampoo, Shampoo hit back."  
  
Shampoo turned away, then started upstairs to the Yagami's room. "Little girl should no bother fighter. Could get hurt!" Smiling at the final taunt, Shampoo rushed the rest of the way up the stairs.  
  
  
  
"Akane, are you okay? Where does it hurt? Uh..." Soun backed off a bit as a red haze enveloped his youngest daughter.  
  
Akane pushed herself up slowly, letting her aura cook around her. "That... that... top-heavy, airheaded bimbo! 'Little girl' am I?! I'll show her!"  
  
Soun backed off slightly. "N-Now Akane, please, keep calm! We can work this out..."  
  
In all the commotion, nobody had even noticed Iori get up until he placed a hand on Akane's shoulder. Akane's aura vanished instantly, and blinked up at the much larger man's stoic expression.  
  
"Look kid, I know it's rough, but nobody starts out on top, right? Until then, try to cool off. It'll save you a lot of misery." Having said his piece, Iori walked up the stairway after Shampoo.  
  
  
  
Akane stared after Iori as he left, the image of the white crescent moon burned into her mind. Iori's words had been different from Ranma and Shampoo's, true, but the meaning had been the same. Besides being more polite, though, the man simply had a presence that Ranma and Shampoo lacked; one that could be invisible one moment, and command all attention the next. Ranma's words provoked anger; Iori's commanded respect.  
  
Wait... he had meant the same thing?  
  
"Hey! He called me weak too! That jerk!"  
  
*Crash!* Soun and Nabiki faced their own encounters with the hardwood floor, and Kasumi simply smiled as a sweatdrop rolled down her head.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Ranma awoke early the next morning. His sleep had been dreamless, but still fitful, and he figured he wouldn't get any more rest anyway.  
  
Yawning to himself, Ranma gently shook Maya awake from where she rested on his lap. The cat shook itself, then raised its head to stare at him lazily. Ranma gently pushed the feline off of himself, then left the room to take a bath.  
  
Maya had appeared the previous night again as he was getting ready for bed. The cat seemed to have left somewhere during the day; probably out chasing birds or something, Ranma figured. Meanwhile, Shampoo had announced that she was staying somewhere else and allowed Kasumi to make up her room for Tomas. Ranma had inquired where, but Shampoo had seemed unwilling to talk about it, so he dropped the subject.  
  
  
  
Having finished his bath and dressed, Ranma hopped out the window and into the backyard. Stretching, he turned and watched as the edge of the sun broke the crest of the distant hills, splashing vibrant color throughout the skies above Nerima.  
  
"Oh. You're awake."  
  
Ranma rolled his eyes without turning toward Akane. "Good morning to you, too," he said dryly.  
  
Akane walked up behind, unsure of exactly what to say. "Um... look... about what you said yesterday. That thing about not having enough control?"  
  
Ranma turned towards her and raised an eyebrow. "Yeah?"  
  
Akane's left eye twitched slightly. "I was just thinking... maybe you could help me with that?"  
  
Ranma was rather impressed by the girl's sudden civility, and smiled slightly, especially as he noticed that she was shaking slightly; most likely from the effort of asking him a favor rather than attacking him, he supposed. "Are you asking me to train you?"  
  
"Get over yourself!" Akane snapped. "You're not THAT good! I... I was just... I just wanted... you know, a few tips maybe..." Akane trailed off irritably, wondering if this was really a good idea.  
  
Ranma planted his fists on his hips and smiled. "Well, since you managed to go a whole conversation without using the word 'jerk' or 'pervert'..." He didn't notice Akane twitch. "Sure, I can give you a few pointers. First thing is, work on your coordination. If you're balance is better, then you can move and attack faster without getting knocked down like you usually do. After that, you'll want to do some speed drills. Lessee... after that, maybe-"  
  
*Wham!!* *Splash!* "Never mind! Forget I even said anything!!" Akane stomped back into the house furiously, leaving a wet and female Ranma thrashing in the koi pond with a noticeable lump on her head.  
  
  
  
"Ptooey! Stupid, dumb, uncute TOMBOY!!!" Ranma growled out as she shook the water out of her hair.  
  
"Great. Just great." Ranma twisted her pigtail to squeeze the water out, then took off his jacket and started squeezing the water out of that.  
  
"Hey, what's all the noise?" Ranma turned around to see Tomas step out of the house and stretch, before settling his gaze on her.  
  
The young Bogard blinked, then rubbed his eyes and blinked again. To his surprise, the image of a beautiful redheaded girl with a wet tank top on had only gotten clearer, rather than vanishing.  
  
Ranma was wondering why Tomas was staring at her, when the traveling fighter snapped out of it and walked toward her.  
  
"Uh... h-hi, I didn't see you around before. Um, I'm, uh, that is, my name is-"  
  
"Tomas Bogard, I know," Ranma interrupted, before Tomas had a chance to further complicate his introduction. Deciding that she really didn't want anybody else knowing about the curse, she tied her rolled-up jacket around her waist, hiding the crescent moon that made the item so distinctive.  
  
"You... you know my name?" Ranma was starting to get a tad creeped out by the way the other boy was acting, so she opted to simply leave.  
  
"Yeah, well, it's been nice meeting you and all, but I've gotta go." Ranma took off at a run, and had leapt for the window to the Tendo bathroom before Tomas had even realize she had moved.  
  
'Whoah, she's fast!' "Wait! What's your name?"  
  
Ranma declined to answer, opening the small window on the roof and sliding smoothly through it into the furo.  
  
Tomas stared forlornly at the open window, wondering to himself. 'That... that girl... she's incredible!'  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
A large sweatdrop rolled down Ranma's head as his clothes soaked up the hot water of the furo, sagging around him as they took in moisture.  
  
Ranma gulped as Akane started twitching violently. She hadn't jumped into the furo from outside, so she wasn't wearing clothes, and naturally lacked such protection of her modesty.  
  
"Uh... Akane... I, uhm, thought you would be out jogging..."  
  
Ranma gulped as Akane's aura manifested itself, and she was engulfed in a bright red halo of energy.  
  
"Er... you know, there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for this..."  
  
*Krnch!* Akane tore the furo's spout out of the tile wall, along with a good amount of tile and concrete.  
  
"Which... you wouldn't be interested in, huh?"  
  
  
  
(The following scene has been removed due to the unnecessarily graphic and disgustingly brutal content of its proceedings. Please continue on to the next section, please.)  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
"Man, what do you think happened to Yagami?" Daisuke nudged Hiroshi in the side as he ate his pizza bread, gazing over at the heavily bandaged Ranma.  
  
"I dunno. Looks like he got hit by a train or something." Hiroshi frowned at the thought, and took a sip of his tea.  
  
Daisuke shivered as he swallowed the last of his bread. "Maybe. Man, I'd hate to run into whatever did that to him, though. This guy took out Kuno without breaking a sweat! Whatever beat him up must be some kind of monster!"  
  
Hiroshi nodded as he waved to Akane and Yuka as they walked by. "Yeah," he agreed, turning back to the scene, "but then again, I wouldn't mind so much if SHE would take care of me." Hiroshi grinned slightly, and Daisuke nodded quickly in agreement.  
  
  
  
"Shampoo, you really didn't need to come down here. I'll be fine. I've taken worse."  
  
Shampoo blinked, then stopped adjusting the bandage around Ranma's head. "You hurt worse before?"  
  
Ranma opened his mouth to confirm this, and then stopped. "Uh... well... there's your grandmother and those other crones. They worked me over pretty well. Anyway, it don't matter." Ranma tugged the bandage on his head tight and winced as it sent shock waves of pain through his skull. Couldn't Akane have stopped after the concrete broke? She got her stupid point across...  
  
Shampoo frowned as she checked the bandages wrapped around Ranma's chest, and then started taking off his jacket.  
  
"He-Hey! What're you doing?" Ranma blushed furiously as the jacket fell onto the grass behind him, and began stuttering. Further protest was muffled by his shirt being lifted up, and before he knew what had happened, he was sitting down, topless, as Shampoo poked at the bandages wrapped around his torso.  
  
"These is okay. Ranma lucky he heal fast." Shampoo smiled up at him.  
  
Ranma sweatdropped. "Uh. Right. Thanks." Then he looked up. "Er... hello."  
  
Shampoo turned around to see a girl with glasses had walked up behind her while she was checking Ranma's wounds. "Who you?" She asked, irritated.  
  
Ranma immediately picked Hana out of the group as the bespectacled girl stepped forward. "Ranma, are you okay? And... who is she?" The last part was stated with a frown, and Ranma blinked and chuckled nervously.  
  
"Oh, yeah, I'm fine. This is a friend of mine from China. Her name's Shampoo. Shampoo, this's Hana."  
  
Shampoo stared at the girl impassively, then narrowed her eyes slightly. "Nihao."  
  
Hana nodded back. "Hello. What happened?" She never took her eyes off Shampoo, though she lowered her head slightly at the hard stare.  
  
Shampoo picked up a small package on the ground next to her, seemingly dismissing the other girl as she spoke. "Violent girl hit too too hard. Akane need be taught lesson." She said the last part almost off-handedly, then turned back to Hana. "What you want?"  
  
Hana stood up straight defensively, and held up her own package in front of her chest. "I'm just bringing Ranma lunch. I do it every day." Well, every day for three days, any way.  
  
Shampoo raised an eyebrow as she unwrapped her package, revealing a plastic bento box. "Shampoo bring lunch for Ranma. Help him recover. No need you lunch," Shampoo stated matter-of-factly.  
  
Hana twitched. "Who are you to say what he eats? Why don't you let him decide?" She glared at the violet-haired woman, frustrated. Obviously this girl was trying to steal Ranma's attention (not that Hana could fault her for that) for herself.  
  
Shampoo snorted. "Fine. Ranma decide. Ranma? Ranma? Where you go?" Shampoo blinked, and then sweatdropped along with Hana as she realized that Ranma had disappeared, along with the shirt and jacket.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
"Damn it! Where am I now?" Ryoga followed along the side of Furinkan's perimeter wall, wondering if he was still in Kyoto. Not that it would have mattered much if he was, but he liked to at least have some idea of what region of Japan he was in.  
  
Looking to the right, he saw some trees separating the wall from the road. He could go off into the streets, but... then what? Where was he headed to, anyway?  
  
"Damn you Ranma!! This is all your fault!!"  
  
*Thwack* Ryoga pitched forward suddenly as a stone impacted his skull. Turning around angrily, Ryoga suddenly beheld the bane of his existence, tossing a stone up in the air and catching it on its way down.  
  
"Well, look who it is. How's it been, Hibiki?" Ranma stared impassively at Ryoga as he stood atop the perimeter wall. He had quickly gotten dressed as soon as Shampoo turned away, and caught a glimpse of Ryoga's umbrella over the wall, as it was strapped atop the large pack.  
  
Ranma's neutral expression suddenly broke into a friendly grin. "You're lucky to be alive right now. I hope I didn't hurt you too bad."  
  
Ryoga growled and shook, his face starting to turn red. "Shut up!! Just shut up!!" Ryoga tore off a few bandannas to throw.  
  
Ranma's eyes narrowed. "Are you sure you want to do that? Bokken-brain 'aint here to help you this time."  
  
Ryoga hesitated, then snarled. "You die!"  
  
Ranma jumped over the sudden hail of razor-sharp cloth, then hurled his rock, which clocked Ryoga squarely on the nose. Ranma didn't waste a moment of the split-second distraction, and before the lost boy knew what had happened, he was flat on the ground, with Ranma standing one-legged on his face.  
  
"Now look Hibiki, I don't want to get you back for what you did. I'm sure that I somehow put you through enough as it is. I'd much rather get this whole grudge thing out of the way."  
  
Ranma found it rather hard to balance on one leg with Ryoga shaking in rage, so he hopped off and leaned over the trembling boy. "Well? What'dya say?"  
  
"I say TAKE THIS!!!" *Ka-pow!* Ranma was sent spiraling away from the attack, and landed perfectly on a nearby tree branch.  
  
"Feh. Loser. Can't you do any better than that?" Ranma taunted. It really had hurt, especially as his ribs hadn't fully recovered from Akane's assault, but he wasn't about to let the fanged moron know that.  
  
"I'll kill you!" Ryoga charged forward and punched, but Ranma jumped backward, and then started hopping back to stay out of reach. "Stay still so I can hit you!"  
  
Ranma jumped high onto a tree, then stuck out his tongue. "Why don't you make me?!"  
  
Ryoga growled, then tore his belt off and snapped it straight as a rod in one swift motion.  
  
Ranma blinked, then shouted in surprise as Ryoga sliced the belt straight through the trunk of the tree, causing the young Yagami's perch to topple slowly.  
  
"Stop running and face me like a man!" Ryoga pitched forward, belt poised to cut through his foe like a knife through butter.  
  
If only things were that simple.  
  
*Ktch* *Pow!* Ranma grabbed Ryoga's hand and then embedded his fist into Ryoga's stomach, doubling the lost boy over. Evading a retaliatory punch, Ranma let go, then backhanded Ryoga away into another tree, letting the belt fall to the ground, once again as dull, flexible cloth.  
  
"Face you like a man, huh?" Ranma snorted. "You're no match for me, Hibiki. Give it up. I've got nothing against you, and you're not strong enough to beat me. So let's just call it even and move on, 'kay?"  
  
"Go to hell, you... you... half-man!" Ryoga snarled.  
  
Ranma blinked, then snorted again, putting his hands in his pockets. "Now THAT was just rude. Say, Hibiki, you mentioned that you went to Jusenkyou, right? You never did tell me what spring you fell into."  
  
Ryoga growled. "That's none of your business, Yagami!"  
  
Ranma raised an eyebrow. "You see that fountain behind you?"  
  
"Huh?" Ryoga turned, and looked past the cracked tree to find a modest stone fountain in a small clearing. "Yeah, what of-urk!"  
  
Ranma picked up Ryoga by the front of his shirt, and before the lost boy knew what was happening, he had been hurled toward the fountain, shouting in surprise and terror.  
  
"Damn you Ya-*Smash!*-ga-*Sploosh!*-bweeeee!"  
  
Ranma walked up to the wrecked fountain, and stared down in fascination at the little black pig that was struggling free from the rubble. "Well I'll be damned. A little pig. Kinda fits, if you ask me." Ranma stood up straight and frowned as the piglet growled at him, bearing fangs that had not changed during the metamorphosis. "Look Ryoga, I'm sorry for what happened, but I can't do anything to make it better, and killing me 'aint gonna help you none. So why don't you just lay off, all right?" Considering the matter concluded, Ranma turned around and began to walk away.  
  
"Bweeeeee!" *Chomp*  
  
Ranma stopped, and his left eye began to twitch as Ryoga bit into his calf as deeply as he could.  
  
"All right, piggy..." Ranma began as he started to glow purple, "YOU WANNA FRY?!?!"  
  
Ryoga leapt off just in time as Ranma's aura flashed, leaving a large scorch mark on the grass below. And then wasted no time in attacking again, making swift runs with fangs and pointed hooves slashing as he ran.  
  
"Hey! Cut it out, you little jerk! Ow! Knock it off!"  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
"Hey Akane, do you know where Ranma is?"  
  
Akane looked over to Nabiki and shrugged. "Why should I know where that jerk is?"  
  
Nabiki rolled her eyes. "I was just wondering. I saw Shampoo poking around for him earlier."  
  
Akane turned away and started walking out the gates. "I didn't see him after lunch. Leave the creep and his floozy alone."  
  
"Shampoo not know what 'floozy' mean, but it not sound nice." Both Akane and Nabiki whirled to see Shampoo perched atop Furinkan's gates, her long purple hair flowing with the slight breeze. "You no say bad things about stronger peoples. Weakling insult warrior hurt very bad!" Somehow, the threat had seemed far more endearing and cute than actually threatening, and had Nabiki been a little more impulsive, or perhaps suicidal, she would've pointed that out.  
  
Akane didn't laugh at Shampoo; she just got mad. "I'm a martial artist too! Don't underestimate me!"  
  
Shampoo hopped off the gate. "Shampoo estimate just fine. Akane suck, too too bad."  
  
There was an audible *pop* as Akane's paper-thin patience broke. "I... am... SICK OF YOU!!!" Akane charged forward with her best punch, trying to use as much force as possible to keep the buxom Amazon from having time to dodge or block.  
  
Shampoo found time, however, and skipped to one side, before back-kicking Akane into Furinkan's gates, where she barely managed to keep her head from directly impacting an iron bar. The gate shook and Akane fell to the ground, dizzy but mostly unhurt.  
  
Shampoo snorted. "See what Shampoo mean? Violent girl weakling. You get better, then you challenge Shampoo. You waste Shampoo time, now."  
  
Akane rose from the ground angrily, then became aware that they had attracted a crowd.  
  
"Did you see that? She nailed Akane!"  
  
"Damn, you think she's as good as Yagami?"  
  
"Whoa! Who's the babe?!"  
  
"Poor Akane! Everyone's beating her now!"  
  
"Man, and to think we could barely scratch her in the morning..."  
  
Akane trembled more violently with each voice, and slowly got up. "Why you little..."  
  
Shampoo stood up straight and crossed her arms under her breasts (much to the delight of the male crowd). "Violent girl still get up? Why you waste Shampoo time? Fight weakling is boring!"  
  
Akane growled and was about to charge again when Nabiki stepped in front of her. "Akane, give it a rest, okay? I don't like her either, but trying to fight her is SO the wrong way to deal with this." Nabiki ignored Akane's sputtering response, and turned around to address Shampoo. "Look Miss Head and Shoulders, we don't know where Ranma is, so leave us alone, all right?"  
  
Shampoo turned away pointedly. "That all Shampoo want. Shampoo not know why idiot girl waste Shampoo time."  
  
"So it's IDIOT GIRL now?!" Akane shouted.  
  
Shampoo turned to look back at her with half-lidded eyes. "What else you call girl who no use common sense? Shampoo think you go back play with other weaklings, yes?" Without waiting for a reply, the violet-tressed Amazon leapt away onto the rooftops.  
  
"Why that little... I'll... I oughta... I should..." Akane started muttering darkly, and Nabiki sighed and hung her head.  
  
"You know, she may have a point there." The unfortunate boy who chose to voice his conclusion aloud (as opposed to the many who remained silent) was soon targeted by a furious female fighter with no other outlet for her violent anger. Sadly, he would never fully recover, but this story isn't about him anyway, so let's move on.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
*Pow!* "Take that, you little freak!"  
  
"Bweeeeee!"  
  
*Smash!* *Crunch!* "Damn pig! What happened to 'fighting like a man', eh Ryoga?"  
  
"Bweeee! Bweeeeeeeeee!!" Ryoga raced away regardless of Ranma's taunts, and came to a park's stream, which he wasted no time in crossing by the rocks forming a narrow bridge.  
  
Ranma simply leapt, and aimed his boot. "Chew on this, porker!" *Wham!* *Goosh!*  
  
Ranma coughed as the water fell once more to the stream below. She wasn't very wet, but she was female again. Looking around, she saw Ryoga making an escape into the street.  
  
"Oh no you don't, pork chop! I'm gonna slow-roast you!" Ranma summoned her flames to her hands, and twin bolts raced toward the fleeing piglet, the second explosion knocking Ryoga off his feet and tossing him to the side.  
  
Ryoga shook his head and turned around, then shot between Ranma's legs as she caught up to the blast site.  
  
"Dang it! Stop running you little coward!" Ranma turned to give pursuit, and chased Ryoga through the park once again, and then through a field of picnic tables.  
  
Ryoga, intent as he was on losing his enemy, was totally unprepared for a swift hand to suddenly grab him by the bandanna and lift him off the ground.  
  
"BWEEEEEEEE!!!" The lost boy-turned-pig squealed in porcine terror as he beheld a young man with a red cap on his head holding him up by the bandanna, seemingly oblivious to his struggles.  
  
Ranma slowed as she approached Tomas, and blinked as the young man smiled at her and held the pig up in front of her face even as it thrashed about wildly.  
  
"You lose something?" Tomas smirked.  
  
Ranma blinked once more, then smiled. "Hey! Thanks a lot!" She snatched it away quickly, and Ryoga was soon struggling to breathe as Ranma's iron grip constricted his entire body. She chuckled darkly, and held Ryoga up in the air. "Say goodbye, runt!!"  
  
*Boot!* "BWEEEEEEEeeeeeeeee-e-e-e-e-e-e........." the black piglet sailed off into the sky, eventually disappearing as a single pinprick of light.  
  
  
  
Tomas blinked, then sweatdropped as the small black projectile finally winked out of sight. "Uh... not that it's any of my business, but... why did you do that?"  
  
Ranma turned toward him. "Feh. The little moron attacked me, that's all. Serves him right," she said off-handedly.  
  
Tomas blinked once more, then decided it wasn't important anyway. "Say, I saw you at the Tendos' house earlier, right?"  
  
Ranma stared at him oddly, then started suddenly. 'Drat! I'm a girl now!' "Uh, yeah, you did. Why?"  
  
"Well, I was just wondering who you were," Tomas said conversationally, his hands in his pockets. "I didn't catch your name." 'That's it Tom, just play it cool.'  
  
"My... name..." Ranma started to sweat slightly. 'Name? He's asking for my name? Damn! How do I get out of this?' Somehow, she thought that saying "Well, I'm actually Ranma and I'm cursed to be a girl" would've gotten less than satisfactory results. "My name... is... Ran... Ran... Ranko! Call me Ranko!" 'Close one!'  
  
Tomas smiled. "So Ranko, you live with the Tendos? I didn't see you around there."  
  
Ranma was still rather relieved that Tomas believed her, and unconsciously took off her damp jacket and started squeezing water out of it, incidentally hiding the crescent moon insignia. "Um... no, I only hang around there sometimes. I was just visiting... Ranma! Yeah, I go there to visit Ranma sometimes."  
  
Ranma wrapped her jacket around her waist and tied it absently as Tomas frowned.  
  
"Ranma? Is he... your boyfriend or something?" He tried to act nonchalant about it, but his voice cracked at the end anyway.  
  
Ranma looked away for a moment, considering. "Boyfriend... right... something like that." She turned back to Tomas. "Um, look, I've gotta go now, okay? Thanks for helping me with the pig."  
  
"Yeah, no problem," Tomas muttered. "Hey, are you going back to the dojo? I'm staying there too, so I could walk you!" He smiled good-naturedly, trying to appear as if such an offer was completely natural of him.  
  
Ranma froze. 'If someone who knows about me sees me with him, they might tell him my name.' That left only one option.  
  
"Hey! What's that?" Ranma pointed behind Tomas, her eyes wide. Tomas started in surprise, then whirled around, his fists raised to defend himself and his companion.  
  
*Whoooosh!* Tomas didn't realize where the sudden wind had come from until he had already scanned the area and detected nothing dangerous. Turning around, all he could make out through the dust cloud left by her wake was a small dark spot leaping across the rooftops in the distance.  
  
'She's fast! To have made it that far in the time it took me to look back... she's incredible!' He stared in awe for a few more moments, then lowered his head. "And she's taken. Of all the rotten luck!" Tomas threw a punch at nothing, then slipped his hands into his pockets and walked toward the dojo. "Ranma is one lucky guy."  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
"BWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" Ryoga's squeal echoed across the streets of Nerima as he descended from his impromtu flight. Had he been human he could've adjusted his landing easily, but at present he didn't have the benefit of long, strong limbs. So the best he could do was to make a loud enough fuss in the hope that someone would find his injured body soon after he landed.  
  
Had he been watching the ground instead of squealing his head off, he would have realized that he was heading toward a body of water rather than hard-packed dirt.  
  
A small body of water. But then, what right did he have to be picky at a time like that?  
  
*Gooosh!*  
  
  
  
Akane blinked herself out of her half-hysterical rage at the sound of a small object falling into the koi pond at high speed. She had been crushing cinder blocks ever since she got home, on a super adrenaline high from her anger at being humiliated so thoroughly at school. Just wait until she faced that Chinese bimbo next time! She'd tear the little tramp apart!  
  
It was about then that her brain calmed to the point where she realized that her hand hurt like someone had been jabbing hot needles into it. And it looked the same way. Looking about the dojo floor, it was really no wonder; she had gone slightly overboard. Rubbing her hand soothingly, and stepping around the gaping holes in the dojo floor, she decided to find out what the noise was.  
  
  
  
Akane stared curiously at the thrashing koi on the ground, and idly picked it up by its tail as she observed the pond. Roughly a third of the water was gone, though most of the fish had managed to land back in the pond or flop themselves back in. She began tossing the stragglers back in, when she noticed something dark floating to the top. Throwing the last fish back into its tiny home, Akane reached into the pond and grabbed the small object, yanking it to the top.  
  
"What an adorable pig!" Akane smiled at the little creature, then blinked and became worried that it didn't seem to be conscious. A quick check revealed that it was still breathing, so she knew it was still alive, at least. Akane set it down on the ground, noting with a bit of curiosity that it had a gold and black bandanna around its neck, and shook it slightly.  
  
Ryoga woke quickly and started coughing up water. While he was glad he had hit water rather than dirt, he really did wish that it wasn't so shallow; the rocks at the bottom had hurt quite a bit.  
  
"Oh! You're awake!"  
  
Ryoga looked up at the voice, and stared.  
  
Akane picked Ryoga up, then started to wipe him off with a towel as she held him in her arms. "Now where did you come from, falling into the pond like that?" She smiled warmly, and Ryoga felt his tiny heart skip a beat.  
  
He squealed softly, and Akane patted him on the head and giggled. "Now, what should I do with you? Are you somebody's pet?"  
  
Ryoga froze for a moment, then shook his head. Akane blinked, then smiled again. "Wow! What a smart piggy you are!"  
  
  
  
Nabiki rolled her eyes as Akane started speaking baby-talk to the black piglet. "I think I'm going to be sick." Akane ignored her older sister, and walked into the house carrying Ryoga.  
  
"Hey, if Ranma can have a pet, why can't I?" Akane was concentrating on Ryoga at the time, so she missed seeing Nabiki flinch. "I think I'll call him 'P-chan'."  
  
"P-chan?" Nabiki deadpanned.  
  
Akane smiled and nodded. "Uh huh! P for pig, and chan for cute!"  
  
"Heartwarming," Nabiki said dryly, and left for her room.  
  
Akane sat down with her new pet, and Ryoga squealed in delight as she began to rub his belly.  
  
  
  
"Yo! I'm home!" Akane scowled at the feminine, yet familiar voice, and frowned in the direction of the kitchen as the water tap went on.  
  
*Splash* "Ah, that's the stuff!" Ranma walked out of the kitchen wiping his wet face with one arm while slipping on his trademark jacket with the other.  
  
Akane turned back to her new pet, and held him a little tighter; he had started squirming an awful lot suddenly. "So, where were you?"  
  
Ranma smirked slightly as he approached, not looking at Akane or noticing what she held in her arms. "Taking care of business. Ran into an old friend of mine and had to teach him a lesson that he can't seem to understand." Ranma chuckled darkly a bit, then turned to see that Akane wasn't even listening to him.  
  
Then he caught sight of what was in her arms.  
  
"Hey! What the-where'd you come from?!"  
  
Akane turned toward Ranma, startled, then realized that he was talking to the piglet in her arms. "What? P-chan?"  
  
The piglet squealed angrily at Ranma, who growled back.  
  
"You've got a lotta nerve comin' here! Didn't I punt you far enough the last time?"  
  
Ryoga growled and bared his fangs as Akane put him down on the floor.  
  
Ranma glared down at Ryoga, and one of his fists lit ablaze with purple flame. "Eh? You wanna fresh one, pork-*WHAMMO!!!*"  
  
And thus did the Tendo family's new dining room table meet its splintered end, smashed to pieces atop Ranma's head.  
  
"So YOU'RE the one who hit him up in the air like that! You should be ashamed of yourself, picking on small helpless animals!"  
  
Ranma spat out some wood as he stood up dizzily. "Helpless? Him?! You gotta be kidding me! Hell, even as a pig, he's a better fighter than you are!"  
  
Akane was just about to add a fist to the mess of table adorning Ranma's head, when Ryoga leapt from her arms and latched onto Ranma's face, biting and beating at him with teeth and hooves.  
  
Ranma calmly let the creature attack for a few seconds, then firmly snatched it from his face and smashed it into the floorboards below. "Try that again, you little runt, and I'll-"  
  
*Pow!* Ranma was doubled over as Akane decked him in the stomach with all the self-righteous power of a woman protecting her child (or, in this case, the nearest equivalent). "Hey! What'dya do that for?"  
  
Rather than respond, Akane grabbed her mallet and swung it like a croquet hammer, slamming a surprised Ranma into the far wall.  
  
Akane dropped her hammer and glared coldly at Ranma, then turned a worried gaze toward the small pig creating a depression in the floor. "Are you all right, baby?" She picked Ryoga up gently, and saw that he was crying. "Aw, he's scared!" Akane held him up to her face and smiled at the small black creature. "Don't worry, I won't let that nasty Ranma hurt you!" She then kissed her new pet on the snout.  
  
Ranma groaned as he pulled himself out of the impression in the wall, and blinked in surprise as he watched Ryoga go all goo-goo eyed. "Okay... this is not happening..."  
  
Akane got up, pointedly faced away from Ranma, and started upstairs.  
  
"Wait! Where are you going?"  
  
Akane glared at him. "I'm going to change! What's it to you?"  
  
Ranma stared at her incredulously. "With HIM?"  
  
"So what? Do you make your cat sit outside when you change clothes?" Akane shouted back.  
  
Ranma ignored Akane and looked Ryoga squarely in the eyes. "You know she's gonna kill you when she finds out, right?"  
  
Akane blinked. "What? Kill me? Who?"  
  
Ranma shook his head. "Never mind. Forget about it." To Akane's confusion, Ranma turned away and began walking outside. "Oh! One thing though. Watch out if you're going to give him a bath." Ranma smirked and walked outside, hands clasped behind his head.  
  
Akane stared after him, her earlier rage swallowed in confusion. "A bath? What's gotten into him?" Akane shrugged it off and left for her room, not noticing P-chan's quite obviously nervous expression.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
"So, anyway," *Thok* "I was just wondering," Whap* "if you know that girl that was by the other day," *Thok* "you know," *Pap* *Pap* *Pap* "the redhead."  
  
Ranma dodged the foot sweep, then launched a quick kick to Tomas's midsection before going back on the defensive. "Yeah, I know her," *Thwap* Ranma blocked a forward punch with his arm, then somersaulted over Tomas and his follow-up attack, "why?"  
  
Tomas ginned and launched a relentless assault of punches, sending Ranma into a panicked series of blocks. "Cute, 'aint she?"  
  
*Thwack!* Ranma's fist seemed to come out of nowhere, and Tomas barely managed to regain his footing in time to duck under the roundhouse that followed it.  
  
The young Bogard rolled to one side, out of Ranma's reach, smiling nervously. "Er... something wrong?"  
  
Ranma frowned and absently tugged his open jacket straight. "Yeah, I guess she's kinda cute. Why?"  
  
"Uh, no reason..." Tomas almost sighed and decided to end the subtle questioning right there, before he made Ranma angry. Something made him think he wouldn't like Ranma when he was angry. "Wanna see a neat trick?"  
  
Ranma raised an eyebrow. "Like what?"  
  
Tomas grinned and adjusted his cap. "Attack me. Like from the air."  
  
Ranma smirked a bit, and then rushed backward, flipping onto the trunk of a tree, and rebounding off onto the roof of the house, which he somersaulted from, coming down on Tomas from high above.  
  
Ranma extended on hand to slam down into his opponent, and it lit ablaze with his purple flame. "All right Bogard, try this!"  
  
Tomas smiled. Then he punched the ground. "Power geyser!!" *KROOOM!!!*  
  
*Shrak!!* "YAAAGH!!!" Ranma was sent flying into the air once more, blasted upward by a spike of red energy that shook the ground as it sprang forth.  
  
Tomas stood up again as Ranma went up, and planted his fists on his hips in satisfaction.  
  
"Hey! Keep it down out there!" Tomas blinked and looked up towards the upper level of the dojo, and saw Akane leaning out the window, glaring at him. Then he realized that she was only wearing a bra above her torso, and hastily averted his eyes.  
  
*Wham!* Ranma hit the ground, mostly forgotten. "Ow..."  
  
Akane blinked, wondering why Tomas's eyes had widened before he turned around. "Hey! Don't turn away when I'm talking to you!" She shivered slightly as her window caught a draft, and then remembered her current state of dress. "YOU PERVERT!!!"  
  
Tomas didn't turn around before replying. "Pervert?! Who's the one leaning out of her window with no shirt on?!"  
  
*Slam!!* Judging from the footlocker that struck the back of his head, that hadn't been what Akane wanted to hear.  
  
"That'll teach you to peep on me, sicko!" Akane turned around in a huff and slammed her window shut.  
  
Which was lucky for Tomas, who didn't feel like keeping his mouth shut. "Peeping? Me?! What the hell is wrong with you?!"  
  
"Aw, don't mind her, man, she's always like that." Tomas blinked and turned around to see Ranma staring emotionlessly at the window of Akane's room, hands in pockets, and looking for all the world like he hadn't just come out of the crater not a meter behind him.  
  
Tomas sweatdropped. "All the time?"  
  
Ranma looked at him for a moment, then shrugged. "Well, I've only been here for a few days, but yeah, she's been trying to beat me into the ground as long as I've known her." Ranma waved vaguely in the direction of Akane's room, as if dismissing her. "Now, about that move..."  
  
Tomas blinked as Ranma suddenly broke into a grin. "C'mon, how'd you do it?"  
  
Tomas stared for a moment, then grinned himself. "Well, you see, the trick to that is..." Tomas beckoned Ranma to come closer with a finger, and then put his mouth next to Ranma's ear when he did so. "... a secret!"  
  
Ranma gave Tomas his flattest stare as the other boy snickered. "You know, as long as we're on the subject of 'neat tricks', I don't believe you've seen this. Ya otome!!"  
  
"Huh? Hey! AAAAAH!!!"  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Kasumi blinked as she heard the quick sequence of impacts muffled by the walls between the kitchen and the back yard, and then frowned as several flashes of purple light flooded the room.  
  
"I do hope those two are playing nicely. Boys these days can get so rough!" She shook her head as she turned down the stove, and started stirring the sauce once more.  
  
*Tok Tok Tok* Kasumi turned from the stove, and then turned it off before making her way to the front door.  
  
"Oh my, I wonder who it could be? We aren't expecting any more visitors. Maybe Shampoo is back?" She discontinued her speculations as she wiped off her hands, and then opened the door slowly.  
  
"Hello!"  
  
Kasumi was quite unprepared to see a spritely young girl at the door, waving at her and smiling brightly.  
  
"Hello. Can I help you?" Kasumi cocked her head to one side as the girl giggled slightly, then noticed someone else coming.  
  
"Yurumi! I told you to wait for me!" An older woman in a blue-patterned kimono rushed up to the door and bowed hastily. "I'm very sorry miss."  
  
Kasumi smiled brightly and bowed back. "It's no trouble at all. Was there something I could do for you?"  
  
"Have you seen Rammie?" Yurumi asked curiously.  
  
Kasumi blinked. "Rammie?"  
  
Nodoka shook her daughter slightly, frowning at her. "Yurumi, let me handle this." She then turned a gracious smiled toward Kasumi. "My name is Nodoka Yagami, and this is my daughter, Yurumi. We saw a red flash and a purple flash just a moment ago, and we were wondering..." Nodoka trailed off, unsure of how to continue.  
  
Seeing her halt, Kasumi interrupted. "Nodoka Yagami? As in Iori Yagami?"  
  
Nodoka started in surprise, and her expression turned hopeful. "You know my husband?"  
  
Kasumi nodded, smiling brightly. "Mr. Yagami and his son have been staying with us. Won't you come in?"  
  
After thanking the young woman profusely, Nodoka entered the house, with Yurumi following curiously behind. Neither Kasumi nor Nodoka saw the cat that was watching the exchange from the countertop, nor did they take notice when it slipped past them and leapt onto the stairs.  
  
  
  
Shampoo looked back to see that Kasumi was leading Ranma's mother outside past a confused Soun, then turned back toward the stairs and continued climbing.  
  
Ranma's mother! The idea struck chords within her she hadn't even known were there. Sticking around Ranma would be easy if she could form a friendship with his mother, and the idea of just knowing the woman that birthed Ranma was appealing in and of itself.  
  
Shampoo hopped over the final step of the stairs. Getting close to Ranma had been easy, but only because of her cat form. Which she had originally blamed on him in the first place, though never to his face (she had never felt it necessary to reveal it before, and now it was rather important that she keep it to herself).  
  
The springs of Jusenkyou had many tales of sorrow to tell, and she had all too easily become one of them. Ever since that day...  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Begin flashback (don't you just love these?)...  
  
  
  
Shampoo backed away as the boy... er, girl let out a blood-curdling, inhuman scream. Her body trembled as she tightened the grip on her bonbori, and she almost found herself stumbling back as the redhead's voice started to wane. The scream was primal, no, more than just primal. It spoke of pain, fear, anger, hate, bloodlust, and outright hysteria. If Shampoo had to put a name to it, she would have called the feeling death.  
  
"Ranma! No!" The larger man with the crescent moon jacket leapt for the girl, far faster than Shampoo would've guessed someone of his stature was able to move.  
  
That was nothing compared to the girl's movements; Shampoo only had time to track the general direction of the blur before Ranma had landed behind her father, crouched low to the ground, steam pouring from her mouth in quick, steady bursts.  
  
"Grraaaah..."  
  
Iori turned slowly. It was hard to read his expression; Shampoo got the feeling it was supposed to be pain, but it looked out of place, like a tear on a granite block. "Ranma... please..."  
  
Shampoo, Linen, and Towel all retreated slightly, their weapons held at the ready, watching the redheaded girl.  
  
"Haaaaaaa......" Ranma stared at Iori, one hand upon the ground to keep her balance as she hunched low over the ground. The blank light in her eyes dimmed slightly.  
  
"KYYYYAAAAAA!!!!" Then, before Shampoo knew what was happening, Ranma was heading toward her little group on the edge of the pools. Wait, not quite at them. Directly away from the man, it would seem.  
  
Linen and Towel raised their weapons. A mistake, but one that would not cost them their lives.  
  
Ranma ducked under the spear, hoisted herself up on one arm and twisted in the air to avoid the axe, and then managed to flip back to her feet in the time it took for the young warriors to make their panicked stabs at her. Then the redheaded girl thrust both her hands to the ground.  
  
*KROOOOOM!!!* The ground exploded in purple energy, blasting the two young Amazons aside, hurt, but alive, and thankfully not into any of the cursed springs.  
  
"Ranma!! Stop this!!"  
  
Shampoo's heart seemed to stop as the girl and monster Ranma had become looked backward for a moment as Iori rushed forward, hoping to pursue. It didn't have time to start again before Ranma charged away from his father, and incidentally toward Shampoo, who had only been singed by the earlier blast.  
  
One split-second decision. Fight or flight. Shampoo, of course, had been raised by a society that mostly viewed fleeing like a frightened squirrel cowardly and dishonorable, no matter how justified that fear may be.  
  
One bonbori went forward. A back kick that Shampoo couldn't even track sent the splintered remains of the weapon away.  
  
Shampoo never got to use the mace in her other hand, and Ranma backhanded her away, apparently deeming retreat more important than combat. Of course, the backhand was quite enough, sending Shampoo flying to the side and rolling across the ground.  
  
She didn't see where Ranma went after that. In fact, she was completely unaware of everything that may have happened between the point of the attack, and when she had broken the surface of one of the cursed springs...  
  
___________________________________________________________________________ _______  
  
  
  
Shampoo would've smiled ruefully if she weren't a cat. Naturally, she had been rather angry about being cursed, even after everything was explained and Ranma's fault was (legally) dismissed. But then, there were worse things...  
  
Shampoo blinked as she watched a small black piglet wander about the changing room of the bathroom, seemingly lost.  
  
'Stupid animal.' Shampoo thought, and ignored him as she passed through into the bathroom.  
  
The pig apparently noticed her, and followed her in, even as she hopped up onto a bath stool and saw that the tub had already been filled; Kasumi had probably filled it for Ranma or Tomas.  
  
She was about to jump in, when, to her utter fascination, the pig hopped up onto the edge of the furo, and then beat her to it.  
  
  
  
*Splash* "Damn! I can't believe this! I was right there with her! How could I have gotten lost?"  
  
He didn't notice the cat staring at him with wide eyes as he continued.  
  
"Still... I guess it was wrong to let myself be led into her room like that... ARGH!!! Ranma, this is all your fault!"  
  
*Splash*  
  
Ryoga stopped his ranting for a moment to observe that the cat had apparently fallen into the water. "Hey, you stupid animal! What do you think you're doing?" With an irritated growl at having his righteous indignation interrupted, Ryoga reached down to rescue the feline.  
  
*Goosh* "Who you calling stupid?"  
  
If Shampoo's eyes had been wide, then Ryoga's would have been falling out of his head.  
  
"Buh... doooh... whaaa... gaaaah..." Ryoga's mental processes unraveled at the sight of a girl where a cat had been just moments before.  
  
Shampoo frowned. "You let go now, yes?"  
  
Some part of Ryoga's mind saw through the shock, and noted that his hand, which had been poised to grab for the cat, was now firmly holding something soft and squishy.  
  
That part of his mind forced his vision downwards. The squishy item was a breast. It also reached Ryoga's mind, somewhere around this point, that the very attractive girl in front of him was also completely naked.  
  
Data processing... failed. Neural overload. Shutdown.  
  
Shampoo blinked as Ryoga's hand left her chest, being pulled away as his body fell backwards into the tub. Frowning, she moved over him, then started slapping him across the face repeatedly.  
  
*Smack!* *Smack!* *Smack!* "Hey! You wake up now!" *Smack!* *Smack!* *Smack!*  
  
"Hughn?" Ryoga's eyes fluttered open, and he blinked as his vision cleared up enough to see Shampoo's gorgeous face, framed by cascades of violet hair. Then his vision panned down slightly and he beheld the young Amazon's well-endowed chest.  
  
Reboot failed. Goodnight.  
  
As Ryoga slid back down into the water, a trail of blood coming from his nose, Shampoo rubbed her chin, considering. Then, muttering to herself in Chinese, she got out of the tub and wrapped a towel around herself.  
  
*Smack!* *Smack!* *Smack!* *Smack!*  
  
"Wha? Where am I..." Ryoga's vision started clearing once again, but this time, his eyes survived the trip below Shampoo's chin. Albeit just barely. It was only a normal bath towel, and certainly showed off the young woman's curves and bust very well.  
  
Holding back a bloody nose, Ryoga tried to concentrate on the girl's face. "Who are you?"  
  
Shampoo frowned down at him from where she stood just outside of the furo. "My name Shampoo. Who you?"  
  
"Ry-Ryoga Hi-Hibiki... uh... what are you doing here?"  
  
She raised an eyebrow. "Maybe Shampoo ask you same question. Shampoo come here visit Ranma. You guest to someone?"  
  
"I... I'm Akane's guest! Sort of..." Ryoga trailed off, unsure of how to phrase it to keep himself safe if this girl looked into it.  
  
Apparently, he needn't have worried. "Shampoo no care. Pig boy stay out of Shampoo way, and Shampoo no bother pig boy. Is understanding?"  
  
Ryoga sputtered indignantly at his new nickname and started to get up, then froze when his waist broke the surface of the water before sitting back down in the furo quickly.  
  
Shampoo smirked slightly. "What you shy about? Pig boy have nothing Shampoo no seen before. Shampoo seen better, too."  
  
Ryoga turned red, shocked. "You... you... you don't just say that to a guy! It's cruel!"  
  
Shampoo frowned at him suddenly. "Shampoo hear what you do to Ranma. Pig boy leave Ranma alone if he smart, or else get hurt." The young Amazon smirked suddenly. "And not by Shampoo."  
  
Ryoga growled. "Leave him alone?! You have no idea what that psychotic bastard did to me! He's the cause of all my suffering! All my pain! I cannot rest until I see his bones ground into DUST!!!"  
  
"Who YOU call psycho?" Shampoo deadpanned.  
  
"Psycho? Ha! That half-man's more than psychotic! He's a monster!"  
  
Shampoo started, then growled angrily and stepped forward. "You take back! NOW!!!" In her anger, she raised her hands into fists, incidentally letting go of the flap of towel that held her modesty.  
  
"Gaaah!" Ryoga jumped back in the furo immediately, placing his hands in front of him as if to ward off an attack on his face. "Keep the towel on! Keep the towel on!"  
  
*Rrrrk*  
  
Both Ryoga and Shampoo whirled to face the door to the changing room, where Tomas was standing, wearing nothing but a towel around his waist and holding a bottle and a small stack of towels.  
  
Tomas stared. Shampoo stared back stonily, while Ryoga jerked his head from Tomas to Shampoo's naked body.  
  
Finally, Shampoo tired of the stalemate. "What you want?"  
  
Tomas blinked, and raised his head slightly (c'mon, what'd you think he was looking at?). "Oh! Um, don't mind me, just go back to whatever you were doing."  
  
To Ryoga's surprise, Shampoo just shrugged, then walked up to him, grabbed the back of his head, and slammed it firmly into the edge of the furo.  
  
With that, Shampoo dusted off her hands, and walked past Tomas into the changing room, completely unabashed by her nakedness, even less so now that nobody was fainting because of it.  
  
  
  
Tomas stared after her until the door shut, then he turned back to Ryoga.  
  
"So close, and yet so far, eh? That's rough. Move over a little, would you?"  
  
  
  
*************************************************************************** *******  
  
End Chapter 5  
  
  
  
Notes:  
  
Gouka dan - Hellfire Bomb: A concentration of fire, focused into an energy wave that travels along the ground. Detonates on impact. Effects are far more destructive than those of Iori's "One for the road" blast, but have no stunning effect, instead inflicting maximum damage all at once. 


	6. Hot Flash

And now, a word from our sponsor.  
  
[How to speak Australian:]  
  
A man is walking down the street, drinking a beer in one hand and reading a magazine in the other.  
He gulps down the last of the beer, then tosses it toward a nearby trash can. Unfortunately, because he's still distracted by what he's reading, he hits the rim and the can deflects onto the sidewalk. The man doesn't notice.  
Suddenly, the ground shakes slightly, and the man stops, startled. The shaking slowly increases, and he begins looking around wildly to determine the source of the disturbance.  
Before long he sights a purple glow traveling at high speed shining from behind a line of buildings ahead.  
"SHYAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!" Orochi Ranma dashes into the street and barrels toward the litterbug like a purple comet, trailing violet explosions. The man is helplessly blasted to the side, and Ranma continues rushing onward through the streets of Nerima.  
  
["Environmentalist".]  
  
The charred remains of the beer can manage to bounce off of a utility pole right into the blackened trash can, and a large "F" is barely visible in the midst of the ash.  
  
["Beer".]  
[Fosters. Australian for beer.]  
  
(Fosters Brewing Company would like to remind you to drink responsibly; never drink and drive. And Black Dragon, representative of Black Dragon Productions, would like to remind you that alcohol kills brain cells. And if you're reading his stories, then chances are you don't have that many to spare.)  
  
Yagami 1/2  
A Ranma 0.5/King of Fighters Crossover  
by Black Dragon  
revcoll@peoplepc.com  
http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/fanficlair/index.html  
  
Neither Ranma nor any of the related Ranma 1/2 characters belong to me. Neither do the KOF guys and gals. I don't make a bloody penny off of this. Hell, do you realize how much money I could make if I actually used my skills for profit? Maybe I could even quit my job washing dishes at Pizza Hut!  
  
Chapter 6  
Hot Flash  
**********************************************************************************  
  
*Splash*  
Shampoo stopped her slow descent of the stairs as she heard the telltale sound of water being dumped on something from the living room below. She waited in place as exclamations rang out from that same room, eventually silenced, though only temporarily, by the sound of more water being poured, this time with a subtle hiss that betrayed the relative temperature of said liquid. There was some more fast-paced talking and shouting, which was so mixed up that Shampoo had significant difficulty making sense of it with her admittedly limited fluency of Japanese.  
A few of the voices died down, and there was another splash of water. Shampoo decided that she had spent enough time eavesdropping, and descended the stairs the rest of the way.  
  
"HOW could you have done something so stupid?! Have you no regard for our son's safety?! Or your own?! Going to such a dangerous place!! You're lucky he got off as easy as he did!!" Nodoka continued shouting in Iori's face, and Iori continued gazing back at her with his usual leaden stare.  
"Feh. You call this getting off easy?" Ranma-chan muttered as Yurumi stood over her wide-eyed, an upended bucket in her hands.  
Iori sighed heavily as Nodoka glared daggers at him. "Yes, it was stupid, and I'm sorry. Ranma. I never should have taken you somewhere so dangerous, and I accept full responsibility for what happened." Actually, he mostly blamed the jerk with the glasses for what happened, but as he wasn't around for Nodoka to vent on, Iori kept that judgement to himself.  
Ranma shook his head and clapped his hands on his knees. "Aw, it wasn't your fault, Pop. I just shoulda kept my balance better... or jumped off... or something..." Ranma trailed off, then winced as a stream of hot water spilled onto her head from the kettle that Yurumi was emptying over her. "Do you mind?" he was glad to see his little sister again, to be sure, but she was taking this curse entirely the wrong way.  
"Wow! That is so cool! Now I'll have a brother and a sister!" Yurumi smiled and Ranma cursed inwardly.  
Nodoka looked back and forth between her son and her husband, then sighed deeply. "This is very unfortunate... but what's done is done. It was an accident, and there's no helping it now." She considered for a moment, and then stared hard at Iori. "After all, it doesn't change who you are, and it doesn't really matter. Though... there was another matter, wasn't there, dear?" Nodoka raised her eyebrow.  
Iori glanced meaningfully at Nabiki, who blinked in surprise and cursed inwardly. She was playing a part, and was ill-prepared to recite her lines.  
All present blinked as Ranma's expression darkened noticeably, and he gestured to the middle Tendo daughter. "Mom, I'd like you to meet Nabiki, Mr. Tendo's daughter."  
Nabiki smiled pleasantly and stood up before bowing to the elder woman. "It's an honor to meet you."  
Nodoka cut right to the chase. "And what is your relationship with my son?"  
Nabiki bigsweated. "Er... relationship... well..."  
Iori, like everyone else, wondered what was going on. Ranma looked as if he was on his way to his own execution, and Nabiki, who had struck him as a good actor, seemed to be mucking up the whole thing.  
"Well... we go out, sometimes."  
Nodoka's reaction was instantaneous, and Yurumi almost found herself knocked off her feet as her mother enveloped Ranma in a hug. "Oh my son! You're so manly! I just knew that you'd get a girlfriend!"  
Nabiki probably would've found the sight incredibly amusing, except that her own parent had managed a death grip on her torso. "Oh Nabiki! You make your father so proud! To take it upon yourself, and all on your own, to see to the joining of the schools! We shall arrange for a priest immediately!"  
Ranma glared over to the aforementioned girl and mouthed "I hate you." Nabiki just rolled her eyes.  
"Daddy, I SERIOUSLY doubt that we're going to get married. Could you let go?"  
Nodoka blinked and turned toward her husband, incidentally letting Ranma go. "Dear, what's this about joining the schools and a priest?"  
Iori simply shrugged and twirled a finger around his ear in the universal gesture for "Don't look at me; he's crazy."  
  
Shampoo entered the room, figuring that now was as good a time as any to introduce herself. "Nihao, Ranma! Is Ranma mother?" She asked. Nodoka blinked at the young woman's unusual grammar, but nodded.  
Ranma scooted away from Nabiki. "Mom, this is Shampoo, a friend of mine from China. She's here to... ah... visit?" Ranma finished, unable to really comprehend why she would trek all the way to Japan to see him when he had only left a month ago.  
Shampoo nodded happily, and then bowed to Nodoka the way she saw Nabiki do it. "Is honor to meet Ranma mother."  
Nodoka looked the shapely teenager up and down, smiling the whole time. "Come to 'visit', have we? Well, I'd be happy to have you as our guest, if you ever need a place to stay." The way she said it seemed to imply that there was some hidden invitation within that statement, though for the life of him, Ranma couldn't imagine what it was.  
  
Nodoka composed herself and faced the center of the shattered dining room table as Shampoo took a seat between Ranma and Nabiki (earning a frown from the latter). "On the matter of who's staying where; Ranma, I'd like you and your father to move back in with us."  
Soun immediately made eye contact with Iori and shook his head "no" furiously. Iori ignored him.  
Ranma scratched his head. "Move back to Juuban? Well, it's not that big a deal, but I've already started the school year here, and the dojo is much clos-"  
"Actually, that's not a concern," Nodoka interrupted. "You see, due to an... accident a few months ago, we've moved here in Nerima. I've already taken care of all the paperwork and moved all of our surviving furniture out." She took a sip of tea, and then turned toward Kasumi. "This tea is excellent! Is it jasmin?"  
Kasumi smiled back. "Why yes, though I do use a touch of mint."  
Iori, thrown off by the discussion of tea, finished processing the part about his old house. "Wait. An accident? What accident?"  
Nodoka sighed and took her husband's hand, squeezing it gently. "Let's just say our little girl is growing up." She let a dramatic tear slide down her face, which she quickly wiped away with the corner of her sleeve.  
Yurumi blushed and stared intently at the table. The Tendos that were present stared at her in curiosity (having no idea what Nodoka was talking about), and the male half of the Yagami family stared at her in surprise and confusion.  
Soun coughed into his hand to get everyone's attention, and began pleading his case. "Be that as it may, Ranma really should stay here, so that he can be with his fian... er... girlfriend."  
Ranma's left eye twitched, and he stood up, adjusting his jacket as he did so. "That's also not a concern. We see each other plenty at school." His voice made liquid nitrogen seem warm and cuddly.  
Nodoka clapped her hands in delight. "It's settled then! Mr. Tendo, I'd like to thank you for letting my son and husband stay here." She stood up and bowed, which Soun returned shakily.  
  
Ranma sighed and looked at the house that, for four days, he had called home. Though he had a home, one that held his possessions and his family, he couldn't help but feel a certain connection to the Tendo household. A sense of loss, perhaps, of opportunities passed, or possibilities untouched. Ranma shook his head. Didn't matter now.  
Ranma bowed deeply to Kasumi. "Thanks for all your help. You've, uh, been really nice to me, and, well... thanks for that."  
Kasumi smiled back. "It's no trouble at all! Please, come back and visit!"  
Ranma nodded, and moved on to Akane, his expression immediately becoming less friendly.  
"So... see ya. It's been real."  
Akane nodded, and frowned at the small backpack that Ranma carried. "You didn't forget anything, did you?"  
Ranma blinked. "Why do you care?"  
"Maybe Kasumi wants you to come back, but I don't."  
Ranma rolled his eyes. "Figures. Well, g'bye then."  
He turned around and began to walk toward the front yard, where his parents were chatting and Shampoo was talking to Yurumi.  
"Hey! Aren't you going to say goodbye to Nabiki?" Akane couldn't believe he would be so rude to his girlfriend; after all, his goodbye to her had been the friendliest exchange they'd had since she found out Ranma was male.  
Ranma snorted. "We've already said our goodbyes." And with that, he was out the door, leaving Nabiki and her sisters to stare at the white crescent moon adorning his back.  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"One! Two! One! Two! One! Two! Swing-and-throw! Duck, spin, slash and-"  
*Thwoom!* A short burst of flames swam over the practice cloth as it swung out into the practice target, a stout wooden post, which was knocked to the far end of the dojo from the attack.  
The girl doing the kata finished the full-body spin that completed the maneuver, then stepped back and smirked at her handiwork, having completed the short kata. Across the wooden floor of the dojo, a little girl of about four and a boy just two years older clapped their hands excitedly at the display.  
The teenager wiped her brow with a nearby towel, then bowed to her small audience.  
"You're a little slow on the transition. Your father could have knocked you out back there."  
The girl chuckled nervously as she turned to face her mother. "Yeah, well, I think Dad could take me even if I did everything right."  
The older woman shook her head as she picked up the charred post. "Don't let him hear that. His ego is hard enough to keep under control as it is." The two women shared a giggle, and the elder turned toward the children at the edge of the dojo. "Come on now, show's over. Go out and play or something." The children gave light protest at being sent out, but left regardless. She turned back to her oldest daughter. "I'll clean up. Why don't you go take a bath; the water's all ready."  
The teenage girl nodded and left, tugging on her gi lightly to loosen it.  
  
Out in the backyard of the dojo, a healthy, middle-aged man with long blond hair was sitting in a lounge chair out in his rock garden, reading a book.  
He marked his page, then shut the book and stretched in his chair, obviously enjoying the shrine of peace and quiet he had built.  
"Ah... this is nice. I can't believe some of things people say about Nerima. Any place that can go a full six months without some super-powered martial artist showing up is okay in my book."  
It should be noted here that living on this particular property and not getting out much is about equivalent to living inside a locked lead safe in the middle of the Chernobyl reactor.  
But even so...  
*KROOOOM!!!*  
The man fell out of his chair as a huge red flash came from the front of the house, and he stumbled to his feet. Grimacing to himself, he launched himself onto the roof, and then jumped up again to clear the opposite edge, ready to defend his home at all costs.  
When he got a good look at his landing site, he was so surprised by what was there that he completely forgot about defending anything.  
*Thock!* *Wham!!*  
  
"Hi Uncle Andy!" Tomas grinned and removed his foot from his uncle's head as the older man mumbled something unintelligible into the ground where his face was embedded.  
The front door opened, and Mai Bogard rushed outside to see to the disturbance, only to stop in surprise when she saw who it was.  
"Tomas! It's you!" The young man found himself engulfed in a powerful hug from his aunt, and blushed nervously as her chest pressed against his.  
"Hi Auntie. Er... could you let go, please?"  
"Oh! It's been so long!" Mai pulled herself away from her nephew and held him at arm's length to look him over. "My, you're growing up to be so handsome! Just like your father! And your uncle, of course!" Mai chuckled. Then she turned to see what exactly her husband was doing, and frowned when she saw him picking himself up off the ground.  
"Andy, get up! Is this how you greet your only nephew?" Mai chided.  
"Better greeting than he gave me," Andy muttered. "What's the big idea blowing up my front porch, anyway?" Andy glared at the boy as Mai started fussing over him, rather than helping her husband up.  
Tomas chuckled nervously, putting a hand to the back of his head. "What? I just wanted to surprise you!"  
Mai smiled. "It IS a surprise. Oh! Your Japanese has gotten much better too!" She continued gushing over him as she led him indoors, followed by her grumbling husband.  
"Toji! Kikyo! Come see who's here!" The two youngsters of the household came from their rooms at their mother's call, having been ushered there after the explosion.  
Tomas kneeled down, smiled at his younger cousins and gave them a small wave. They immediately rushed to meet him, tackling the older boy and laughing as he lifted them up, one on each arm.  
Andy left for his precious peace and quiet in the backyard, muttering darkly about his brother's tendency toward overzealousness and showmanship and the genes that saw fit to infect the next generation with such things.  
Mai led Tomas into the dining room and sat him down before managing to pry her children off of him. "So what brings you here?"  
Tomas grinned. "Training, what else? Dad said there wasn't much more I could learn in South Town, so he snuck me a ticket to Japan and told me to cruise around here for a few months; you know, challenge some dojos, beat up Uncle Andy..." Tomas chuckled.  
Mai raised an eyebrow. "Yes, well, make sure you don't damage anything important. He still has certain duties to perform, you know."  
Tomas' face was instantly serious and he held up his hands. "Absolutely. Nothing below the waist."  
They shared a laugh at that, and Tomas marveled at how well his aunt had aged. She had always been admired for her beauty, and that beauty hadn't so much faded as it had matured. The slight lines of her face seemed a natural part of her skin, rather than flaws, and three childbirths had fairly thickened her waist, though none dared to agree when she mentioned it.  
Mai trailed off chuckling, then frowned slightly as something occurred to her.  
"Terry 'snuck you a ticket', huh? Your mother must be worried about you."  
Tomas chuckled nervously. "Not so much mad as angry. I feel sorry for Dad. Still, she'll calm down. It's for my martial arts training, and she always liked Japan."  
Mai's frowned deepened. "And what about school?"  
Tomas' face turned blank. "Er... well... you see, in America, we have longer vacations, and..." he stopped and glanced at Mai's flat stare. "Eh, well, it was worth a shot," he said tiredly.  
Mai shook her head, and got up to pour some tea. "Well, you're going to be staying with us, right?"  
Tomas flushed slightly. "Well, yeah, I was kind of hoping-"  
"Good!" Mai smiled brightly, and carried the tray over to the table. "Min happens to be starting at a new school tomorrow. I can have you signed up so that you can go with her!"  
Tomas' face darkened as his aunt laid down the tray. "Great. School." Then he blinked. "Min is starting at a new school? This late in the semester?"  
Mai sweatdropped. "Yes... well... there was an incident at her old one..."  
"Which WASN'T my fault! I don't care who you're related to; look but don't touch! If he hadn't been the principal's son, I probably would've broken his arm!" The aforementioned teenage girl stood with her arms crossed as she leaned against the handrail of the staircase, frowning.  
Mai rolled her eyes. "Yes, I know. He only got what he deserved." She turned back to Tomas. "We think Furinkan will be a good change for her; the school policy is extremely forgiving of various acts of violence, and actually approves of beating up the principal's son."  
Min snorted, and ran a hand through her strawberry blond hair. "Well, if the boys could actually learn to keep their hands to themselves..." she frowned, then added "and their thoughts. I mean, that one guy didn't actually touch me, but..."  
Tomas chuckled. "Yeah, we're a pain in the neck, I know."  
Min sighed. "You know, it wouldn't even be so bad if any of them were fighters, but the guys at school are just so weak." She looked up at her cousin and grinned. "Speaking of which, you're growing up to be quite the stud. The girls back home must be crying at the loss."  
Tomas gave her a flat stare as he openly looked her over. Min had grown up with all of her mother's looks and none of her father's inhibitions. She had come downstairs wearing only a ridiculously sexy bathrobe (probably one of Mai's), which didn't even look to be tied on right.  
"You know, if I weren't your cousin, I'd probably say something very inappropriate myself."  
Min giggled and winked at him. "But you ARE my cousin, you naughty boy!" She walked over to him and grabbed his arm, and he blushed as she started feeling it. "Ooh! Somebody's been working out!"  
Tomas snatched his arm away, trying to hide his flushed face under his hat. "Cut it out!" Min giggled and made as if to grab his other arm.  
"Min, stop teasing your cousin!" Mai chided, and then pushed a cup of tea toward Tomas. "He's going to be staying with us for a while, and I want him to feel at home!"  
Min looked thoughtful. "Okay... but only if he'll spar with me!"  
Tomas sweatdropped, then shook his head as he gulped down his tea. "Don't think so."  
"What? Why not?" Min demanded.  
Tomas let out a satisfied sigh, and set his teacup on the table. "Uncle Andy says you fight too much as it is. He doesn't want you to get hurt."  
Min slumped down into a chair next to her cousin. "Hmph. Daddy has no idea what he's talking about."  
Mai shrugged, and lightly sipped her own tea. "Andy does get a little overprotective at times. But surely a little workout won't hurt."  
Tomas snorted. "Besides, I don't fight girls if I can help it."  
"Excuse me?" Min deadpanned.  
"Just what I said," Tomas insisted, adjusting his cap over his head. "I don't like fighting women. I need serious opponents."  
Tomas ignored it when his cousin started twitching. She'd get over it.  
*Tap* *Tap* *Tap* He turned his head, and bigsweated slightly as he saw Mai staring at him with narrowed eyes, tapping one of her battle fans, thankfully still closed, on the dining room table.  
"Er... of course, I mean that with the greatest possible respect..."  
*Shing* The fan opened, and light gleamed over the fans' razor edge.  
"Eh heh heh..." Tomas chuckled nervously, then turned to bolt out the exit, only to see Min obstructing the path, arms crossed beneath her breasts, with a razor fan in each hand.  
Tomas stared for a moment, then looked back at his aunt. Then he turned back to his cousin again. "Dojo, five minutes?"  
"Two."  
"Yes ma'am."  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Ranma stared in wonder at his room. His room. A place he could call his own; a place that would always hold a warm bed for him and offer him sanctuary from the rigors of the outside world.  
And besides that, all his stuff was here.  
He immediately opened his closet to familiarize himself with the changes. This wasn't his old room, of course. This one was a little bigger and had the closet on the wrong side compared to the window, but his mother had taken obvious care in reconstructing it to be as familiar to him as possible.  
"How do you like it?" Ranma turned at his sister's voice and smiled.  
"It's all right. It'll take some getting use to, staying in one place again, but it's good to be home." Ranma sat on his bed, feeling the soft covers fondly.  
Yurumi nodded happily. "I'm glad! I helped Mom to put your room back together!"  
Ranma smirked. "Oh, did you?" He got up and started rummaging through his closet.  
After a moment of moving the few boxes at the entrance, Ranma frowned and turned back toward his younger sibling. "Yurumi? Where's my manga collection?"  
Ranma's eyes narrowed as Yurumi sweatdropped and chuckled nervously.  
"Uh... I don't know. Aren't they there?" Yurumi's eyes went big and watery, and her best "innocent little girl" smile blossomed over her face.  
Ranma stood over her and crossed his arms over his chest, unimpressed by the cute and innocent act. "No, they're not. Not even the Evangelion ones. You know, the ones Mom got me for my last birthday right before I left? The ones I haven't read yet?" Ranma's glare intensified, and little drops of sweat started pouring down Yurumi's brow.  
"It was an accident! I'm sorry!" The redheaded girl flushed in embarrassment and stared down at the floor, ashamed.  
Ranma continued glaring. "What kind of 'accident' was it anyway? How did you burn the house down?"  
Yurumi blushed some more, and began tracing circles in the carpet with her foot. "Well... I was outside in the back yard, and... there was a bee, and I didn't see it. I was laying down, and I felt something on my arm..."  
Ranma blinked. "And it stung you?"  
Another sweatdrop rolled down Yurumi's head. "It didn't get the chance."  
Ranma stared for a moment, then scratched his chin in thought. "So... a bee surprised you... and you burnt the house down."  
Yurumi nodded sharply.  
"Somehow, I think there's a little more to this than that," Ranma deadpanned. Then he sighed. "But, since it was an accident, I forgive you."  
Yurumi sighed in relief. "Thank you! I really am sorry!"  
Ranma smirked slightly and turned back to his closet. "Don't mention it. It's not like you destroyed anything really important. Like, say, my anime collection." Ranma pulled out the cardboard box with the appropriate markings, blinking in surprise when he realized how light it was.  
Quickly setting it on the floor, he tore open the lid of the box with a swift stroke of his hand. A single "Gall Force" tape stared up at him, with much of the tape's box rendered indistinguishable with soot and ash.  
"Yurumi..." Ranma's voice rose slowly, and he turned his head to see his little sister stealthily creeping out of the room.  
  
Iori let a small smile show on his face as he looked over his new living room. Unlike the bedrooms, the rest of the house had been completely redecorated.  
"I'd hate to think what our insurance rates are now." Nodoka blinked as Iori spoke; that hadn't been what she was expecting at all.  
Sweatdropping slightly, she gestured to the living room. "Well, let's not worry about that now! How do you like the house?"  
Iori nodded his head. "It's all right."  
Nodoka stared up at her husband for a moment, then leaned up against him, resting her chin on one of his broad shoulders. "I missed you..."  
Iori gently wrapped his arms around her, and started stroking her hair with his hand. "I missed you too..."  
She snuggled further into his embrace. "Mmmmmmm... do you want to go upstairs?"  
Iori raised an eyebrow. "What about the kids? We just got home."  
"EEEEEEEEEEEK!!!" Iori blinked and turned at the sound, to see Yurumi rushing down the stairs as if something was chasing her. Fortunately, she tripped over the last step, and ended up with her face planted in the wooden floor of the living room. Fortunate, because a moment later Ranma dove through the space she would have occupied standing, and crashed heavily into the table.  
Yurumi got up and scrambled away. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean it! Please don't be mad!"  
Ranma growled and got up himself before giving chase. "Get back here, you little pyro!!"  
"I think they can entertain themselves," Nodoka mumbled into her husband's shoulder.  
Iori nodded mutely, then let his wife take his hand as she led him to their bedroom.  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"Meow."  
"Mmphrgl..." Ranma mumbled into his pillow, unheeding of the creature beside his ear.  
"Meow."  
"Hmmmm..." Ranma smiled slightly in his sleep, immersed in his own thoughts and fantasies while oblivious to the real world.  
"Mrowr!"  
Ranma flinched, then turned over, spreading his arms and legs out haphazardly over his bead. "Knock it off Kuno... zzzzzzz..."  
Shampoo struggled under Ranma's elbow as he continued sleeping, but to no avail. Stopping to fume over her predicament, she considered her options, only to break down and just bite him.  
Ranma frowned in his sleep as tiny pinpricks of pain shot up his arm, and his body reacted accordingly.  
"MEOOOWR!!!" *Thud* *Wham!*  
Ranma jerked awake as he heard his bookcase fall over, and groggily pushed himself up onto his knees to look in the direction of the disturbance.  
"Oh, geez! Maya!" The remnants of sleep fled his senses as he rushed to the rescue of his pet, who was howling wildly under the weight of the bookcase which had fallen on her.  
He scooped the cat up after righting the furniture, and gently held her in his arms as he checked her for injuries.  
"Man, that must've hurt! What happened?"  
"Meow." Shampoo replied sarcastically. Of course, the subtle tones indicating such a thing in feline speech was totally lost on Ranma.  
Ranma breathed a sigh of relief as he gingerly felt and tested all of the bones and joints likely to be broken, only to find no sign of injury. "Wow, you're a tough one. That probably would've killed most cats."  
Shampoo held her tongue this time (not that it made any particular difference), and allowed herself to be stroked as Ranma sat down on his bed.  
"Huh... how'd you get in anyway? I could've sworn I closed the window." It then occurred to Ranma to actually look at the window, which was open wide enough for a person to get through, never mind a cat. "Oh. I guess I forgot."  
Then there was a knock on the door. Ranma was still wearing his shirt and boxers, so he was decent enough for visitors. "Come in."  
Nodoka stepped into the room, looking at his messy bookcase. "Is everything all right? I heard a loud noise..."  
Ranma shook his head. "Everything's fine. Maya here was just playing on the bookcase and knocked it over." Ranma wasn't looking at her at the time, so he missed seeing the twitch that developed in the feline's left eye.  
Nodoka smiled as she looked at the cat, and then walked up to pet it herself. "I didn't know you had a pet! Where did you find it?"  
Ranma smiled and scratched the cat behind the ears, dissolving her annoyed expression. "She just sort of showed up. She's been following me around all the time."  
Nodoka nodded and turned to leave. "Well, if everything's okay, then breakfast will be ready in-" she stopped suddenly, then pointed to something next to his bed. "Ranma, what are those?"  
Ranma blinked. "Huh? What?" He turned to look at where she was pointing, and blinked once more. There on the floor lay a short, purple, floral-pattern blouse and pants that seemed to be fairly damp, right next to an upside-down bucket.  
"Er... those would be... Shampoo's clothes and-" He was about to mention the bucket as well, and then continue by making it clear that he had no idea where the objects came from, when he was suddenly enveloped in a tight hug.  
"Mrowr!" Shampoo was roughly ejected from her seat in Ranma lap, and swore that she'd never forget to hide her clothes again as she picked herself up from her second flight that day.  
"Oh my son! You're so manly!" Nodoka gushed as she hugged Ranma to herself.  
Ranma, for his part, tried his best to come up with a suitable response that fully conveyed the depth of his considerable confusion. "Huh?"  
Nodoka held him out at arm's length to smile at him, and suddenly a worried frown crossed her features. "Oh, but how will Nabiki react to this? Please excuse me for judging her, but as first impressions go, she doesn't seem like the type to share."  
"Nabiki? What? React to what?"  
Nodoka gasped. "But of course! She must already know! That would explain her behavior before!"  
Ranma continued his helpless muttering, even as he realized that his mother wasn't listening anymore. "Know what?"  
She smiled at him and squeezed his shoulder. "No doubt she's torn between the pain of having to share you with another, or perhaps several others, and the unbearable agony of not having you at all."  
Ranma gave up. "Yeah. That must be it."  
Nodoka sighed and rubbed Ranma's hair. "Well, don't worry. I'm sure she'll come around and accept your relationship with Shampoo in time." She patted Ranma's head, then turned around and left, humming to herself happily all the while.  
Ranma stared after her, even as the door shut and he could no longer see her back.  
"Is there ANYONE in my family even REMOTELY normal?!"  
Shampoo declined to reply.  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"So where do you go to school again?" Ranma walked along the fence above his little sister, who jogged briskly along the concrete path below.  
"I go to Tenma Elementary! It's right down this street!" She looked up at Ranma, who was keeping pace with her at a steady walk. "Where's Furinkan?"  
Ranma shrugged and pointed in the general direction of his own school. "Somewhere thataway."  
She frowned slightly and slowed down. "So you won't go to school with me?"  
Ranma chuckled a bit. "I'm a little old for elementary school. I would if I could though. There are some nuts at Furinkan that you wouldn't believe."  
Yurumi stared at him curiously, and then blinked as he went stiff. "What's wrong?"  
Ranma sighed. "Aw geez..." He jumped straight up off the fence, and before Yurumi knew what was happening, the chain link construction fell apart in a mess of twisted steel and spotted bandannas.  
"RANMA!!! PREPARE TO DIE!!!" Ryoga followed Ranma's passage over the fence, and Yurumi watched in wonder as the lost boy twisted in midair for a jumping kick that blasted a crater in the ground where Ranma landed, just inches away from striking Ranma himself.  
Ranma punched him straight in the face as a result, knocking the fanged fool back into a section of fence that was still mostly intact. "Is it just me, or have we been through this before? You know; 'Ranma, prepare to die', then you list some offense I've committed, then you savagely try to attack me, then I prove to be too much for you, and then you pull some stupid last ditch tac. I seriously think we need to work this out, man. Or at least come up with some new lines."  
Ryoga twitched with every word, growling when Ranma was finished. "Well, if you're tired of the routine, then do me a favor and DIE this time!"  
Yurumi gasped as Ryoga launched himself forward at her brother, and felt a creeping sense of dread overtake her. He was trying to hurt Ranma!  
Ranma deflected the first blow and the follow up, then ducked under Ryoga's next punch and tried to sweep his legs out from under him. Ryoga took the hit to the legs, but managed to hit the ground with his hand and flip away without injury.  
Ranma snorted and stood up, flexing his hand. "So come on, out with it. You got a reason to try your luck again or are you just being a pain?"  
Ryoga snarled. "Oh, I've got a reason! Last night I spent two solid hours listening to how much of a jerk you are! Every single horrible thing, burned into my mind forever! How could you do such terrible things to Akane?!?! YOU WILL PAY!!!"  
Ranma sweatdropped. "Two HOURS of listening to Akane rant about me? Never mind remembering it all, how'd you stay awake?"  
Ryoga started forward, only to stop in confusion as a little red-haired girl stepped between him and the bane of his existence.  
"Hey! Leave Ranma alone, you big bully!" She glared fiercely at the lost boy, who only seemed to get angrier.  
"SO!!! Hiding behind little girls now, are you?! Who knew that even you would stoop so low?!" Ryoga shouted.  
Ranma just rolled his eyes. "She's my sister, you twit." Then he put a hand on Yurumi's shoulder. "Hey, don't worry about me. This is a grown-up thing, okay?"  
Yurumi stared up at him dubiously, but allowed Ranma to gently push her away from the danger zone.  
Ranma walked back with his hands in his pockets, and faced Ryoga with a bored expression. "All right pork-for-brains, let's get on with it."  
Ryoga snarled and slipped off his backpack. "You think you're so great with your stupid fire! You're nothing but a coward and a monster! I'm going to make sure you never hurt an innocent ever again!!"  
Ranma's expression hardened as Ryoga started hurling a stream of bandannas, more than he'd ever launched before at one time. Then his lip started to twitch as he stood there, unmoving.  
Ryoga blinked. He had thrown so many so that Ranma would get hit even if he tried to dodge, but not so many that the girl would get caught in the swarm. But Ranma wasn't even trying to get away! Was this a miracle given form, or was the coward up to something?  
"Don't you..." Ranma's form began to tremble.  
"EVER..." A light purple aura encompassed him, and the air began to waver in front of him as heat rushed upwards.  
"Say that..." Ranma lifted his arms into the air above his head, wrists crossed and one palm overlapping the other. Time seemed to freeze as the bandannas began to close in.  
"AGAIN!!!" Within the blink of an eye, the violet energy seeped into Ranma's hands.  
"Gouka rippuku!!" *KA-KA-KA-KA-KROOOOM!!!*  
A thunderous roar split the air as Ranma's palms hit the ground, and a huge spike of purple flame burst up from below him, followed by three more spikes, each jutting out at an angle on each side of Ranma's engulfed form.  
Ryoga gulped as his bandannas were knocked away like paper origami swans trying to float into a typhoon. Soon after the ground stopped shaking, and the the jagged towers of fire faded into small embers that floated softly to the ground.  
Ranma knelt on one knee in the center of the blackened crater, his hands still pressed, palms down, into the dirt below. Slowly he began to stand up, his eyes cloaked beneath a dark mop of hair.  
Then, he paused, as he heard an odd noise off to the side.  
*Sssssssss* He noted that a nearby fire hydrant had apparently been damaged by the blast, and little water spouts had broken out around the edges around the nozzles. In fact, it looked like it was about to-  
*Bam!* *Pshooooooooooooo*  
... Burst...  
Ryoga grabbed his umbrella from his pack, twirled around, and opened it in one swift motion, barely managing to shield himself before the torrent of cold water barreled into him. As he jumped away from the barrage he reflected on how Ranma hadn't been so lucky; Ranma had been far closer to the hydrant, and didn't have any real protection from the water.  
Ryoga snarled as he caught a flash of red hair moving out of the tail end of the stream, and threw his umbrella like a spear, knowing that his opponent's disorientation and watered-down clothes would hinder her ability to dodge.  
Then, as he touched the ground, his eyes widened as he saw that the redheaded figure was wearing a skirt.  
"Oops," he muttered, wondering if the death of a family member would be enough to drive Ranma berserk again. Probably. Not that he would likely survive either way, really. Ryoga prepared himself for another running spree.  
  
Yurumi shrieked as the water pounded into her back, pushing her along the sidewalk roughly. She managed to keep her footing though, and shook her head once it was clear of the powerful stream. She just barely managed to see the incoming projectile out of the corner of her eye, and her breath seemed to catch in her throat as time slowed to a crawl.  
She could feel her terror rising; feel the quickening of her heart and the rush of blood through her veins, even as the oversized parasol slowly spun as it floated on its way toward her chest.  
Her entire body tingled, and she felt a massive updraft of heat, even as she observed how gentle it seemed, rolling in the wind as it was.  
She started to scream, and the bonfire within her shot to its peak as she shut her eyes and took in air, just missing the white crescent moon that moved to block the umbrella's path.  
And then, all at once, hell broke loose.  
  
Ryoga's morbid dread turned to pleasant surprise as he saw Ranma dive out of the stream to take the hit. Now his attack would succeed, and the girl would survive! Ryoga began to crack a smile.  
Then the oddest thing happened.  
First, the girl flashed. Not just flash an aura, like Ranma did before his most powerful attacks, but FLASH flash. Like "nuclear explosion surrounded by hills of magnesium powder with a hint of purple" flash.  
Ryoga didn't even have time to blink from the sudden influx of light when a solid beam broke the Earth underneath the two Yagamis and stretched skyward, parting the clouds as it lanced to the heavens.  
By the time Ryoga actually DID blink, the beam was expanding, and he found himself blown back as the wall of dark violet tore apart the road in a series of deafening explosions.  
Ryoga hit the wall on the opposite side of the street roughly, and continued to stare wide-eyed as the lance of unholy fire stopped growing, merely rushing to the sky in a thick tower, with a constant, heavy roar to remind all who saw it of the Orochi's relentless fury.  
Then, not quite as suddenly as it had began, the torrent shrank to a single, wire-thin violet ray, which seemed to hold for a moment before shooting upward, trailing a final chain of dark explosions.  
Ryoga stared in gibbering horror at the sight of so much destruction all at once, and once his eyes completely readjusted to the light effects of the whole ordeal, he watched as Yurumi tiredly fell to her knees behind what Ryoga could only imagine was once Ranma.  
Ryoga didn't care whether or not his rival lived. He didn't care that the girl was now looking around as if confused. He didn't even care that he was leaving his backpack. Ryoga turned around and RAN.  
  
"Wha-What? What did... how...? Ranma? Hello? Ranma, where-*Gasp* RANMA!!!"  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Iori started as the flash of light filled the living room, and nearly fell off the couch as he witnessed the huge pillar of fire through the window.  
"What in the...? Ranma! He must have-"  
Nodoka sighed as she entered the room, cutting him off. "Oh dear. Not again."  
Iori blinked, then looked at his wife. "Again? What?"  
Nodoka frowned as the tower thinned and disappeared, trailing explosions of purple fire. That was unusually big, even for Yurumi, though it seemed more concentrated than normal.  
"Oh, this still happens every once in a while. If she gets scared or angry enough, Yurumi sometimes has her little 'accidents'."  
Iori stared as smoke started billowing from the distant blast zone. "'Little'?"  
Nodoka shrugged. "Yes, well, she's getting better about that. I'll call the school and tell them she might be late."  
Iori sweatdropped and laid his head back on the couch. 'I can just imagine what SHE'LL be like as a teenager.' His face darkened as images came unbidden of young men aggressively flirting with a 16 year old Yurumi, and getting themselves and entire city blocks blasted to ash as a result.  
"Kids," he muttered sourly, and went back to reading the paper.  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Nabiki and Akane rushed to the site of the explosion, fully expecting to see Ranma trying out some new technique of his, or perhaps locked in a titanic battle with some foe of unholy power. Nabiki also had another strong suspicion, but didn't dare speculate on it too long. After all, if Ranma had in fact experienced the Riot of the Blood, running to investigate it was paramount to suicide.  
All they found, however, was a black crater roughly ten meters wide with smooth, glassy edges. The inside of the crater was mostly covered in ash, and it looked like a metal object of some type had been melted down near the edge of the blast site.  
Akane frowned. "Well, he had to have been here. Who else would just blast a hole in the street for no reason?"  
Nabiki shook her head. There were no other burns around the area, and the only other sign of damage was the fence in front of the canal, and a short trail of soot leading away from the crater. Considering the type of damage Ranma had caused in Orochi form, it seemed unlikely that he had entered that state this time.  
Nabiki blinked. "Hey, there's a backpack over there."  
Akane crossed the street, and quickly began observing the item. "Hmmmm... doesn't look like the one he had before." She opened it up, and then grabbed the top item, with was a yellow shirt. "No, I don't think this is his."  
Nabiki frowned at the crater and chewed her lip. Looking closely, she could see that the residual heat from the crater was causing distortions in the air as it rose from the burnt Earth. "I wonder... just how powerful was that blast? I mean, from what we saw, I'd expected a chasm to be here, at least."  
Akane considered it as she joined her sister, shirt still in hand. Then, on a whim, she tossed the garment into the blackened depression.  
*Fwooosh* The shirt lit aflame instantly upon contact with the charred ground, and within moments the Tendo sisters were staring at nothing but glowing embers.  
Akane sighed and turned toward the school. "Well, as long as he's not bothering us anymore, he can burn down the Prime Minister's mansion for all I care. I'm not going to be late if he's not even here." She starting walking briskly toward Furinkan, not even looking back at her sister, who still stared at the shirt's dying embers.  
'Ranma... what is this power of yours?' And with that thought echoing in her head, Nabiki turned herself and followed Akane to school.  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Dr. Tofu hummed lightly to himself as he followed his latest patient out of the examination room, checking over his records as he walked. Clearing his throat, he looked up from the papers to make eye contact with the kindly old woman. "Your rheumatism is looking much better Mrs. Yaguchima. Just keep making those visits to the hot springs, and you should be fine."  
The old lady smiled at the good doctor and nodded her head. "Of course. Thank you doctor."  
Dr. Tofu went back to humming to himself as he filed the papers, and then started thumbing through a small gray notebook that listed all of the day's appointments.  
*Bam!* "Help!! Somebody, please help me!!"  
Dr. Tofu looked up sharply as he heard someone burst into the waiting room, and briskly rushed out of his office.  
He frowned when he got a good look at what was causing all the commotion, and adjusted his glasses slightly out of habit. A little redheaded girl in a school uniform was kneeling on the ground sobbing her eyes out, looking desperately at the various people who were staring at her in bewilderment. The girl had no visible injury, though she looked fairly dirty and generally out of sorts, and had dragged some sort of black mass noticeably bigger than she was into the room behind her.  
Dr. Tofu leaned down next to the girl, and she immediately focused on him. "There now, what's wrong?"  
"It's my brother! I... well, there was this guy *Sniffle* and he... well... and then I..." Yurumi started shaking again as her eyes teared up, and she whirled around and pointed at the mass. "My brother! Please! You have to help him!! Please save Ranma!"  
Tofu blinked. That at least explained what the mass was. He had at first identified it as a bag of coal dust, and was fully prepared to chastise the little girl for bringing such a thing into his clinic. "This is Ranma, you say?" He leaned down over the thing as Yurumi gave a sniffling nod, and knocked on it, causing a thin layer of ash to jump off onto the floor. Then he rubbed on the spot, causing more ash to shake off, revealing a white crescent moon. "Oh dear... how did this happen?"  
Yurumi seemed to choke on the question as the doctor looked at her. "It... i-it was... I was j-just... I cou-couldn't... RANMA!!! Please don't die!!" Dr. Tofu blinked once more as the girl collapsed into sobs, and then scratched his head as he realized that she was wailing in anguish, rather than naming Ranma the culprit.  
Seeing how he would be unlikely to get any more useful information from the younger Yagami, he lifted up the burnt burden that she had procured and carried it into the examination room, away from the prying (and mostly wide) eyes of the waiting patients.  
  
Dropping Ranma on the examination table, he went to the sink to fill up a bucket with warm water (so as not to activate his curse). Yurumi rushed in behind him and looked over the edge of the table, still crying. Despite having dealt with such sights before, he couldn't help but feel his heart break at sight of how scared and helpless she was.  
"Please Ranma... I'm so sorry..."  
Dr. Tofu put on his most encouraging smile and walked back to the examination table, bucket in hand. "There, there, he should be just fine. Ranma's a tough one, from what I hear." Then he upended the bucket over the pigtailed boy, washing away much of the ash and soot that covered him.  
No doubt about it; it was Ranma. He looked like he had taken a steam bath in a nuclear reactor, but it was definitely the same pigtailed boy that had followed Akane to his clinic just a few days prior.  
Yurumi stared in horror at the charred body, her sobs caught in her throat. "Is... is he..."  
Dr. Tofu gave her a relieved smiled. "No, no, he's alive all right. Watch." He poked Ranma in the back, and his entire body twitched slightly at the contact. "See that? That nervous reaction indicates that he's experiencing an unfathomable amount of pain, probably all around his body, and especially when I apply pressure. So he clearly survived." Dr. Tofu jabbed Ranma a few more times to demonstrate, and Yurumi breathed a sigh of incredible relief.  
"*Groan* Hurts... so... much... burns... owwwww..."  
Dr. Tofu's smile grew. "See? He's even conscious!"  
"RANMA!!!" Fresh tears rained down her face as Yurumi jumped up onto the table and hugged her elder brother, not noticing as his body locked up and he generated a few tears himself.  
"I'm so sorry!! It was an accident!! I can't control it, and when I get really scared, it just happens!! Please don't hate me!!" Yurumi continued sobbing into Ranma's chest, oblivious to his pained grimace.  
"Hurt! Pain! Ow! Leggo! Leggo! Leggo!" She did so, and Ranma fell back onto the table, in obvious agony.  
Dr. Tofu whistled a short tune as he rummaged through his drug cabinet, and pulled out a bottle of conspicuous green liquid. "This should help the burns. You two should really be getting to school."  
Yurumi slipped off of the examination table, and bowed deeply to the physician. "Thank you so much, Doctor!"  
Ranma groaned. "I can't move."  
Tofu blinked, then flexed his fingers. "Oh, really? Here, let me fix that." *Jab*  
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW!!!!"  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
The teacher continued rolling names around in his head as he filled the list of absentees, moving up the seating chart and marking the truant ones on the regular sheet of paper. As usual, many of the boys participating on various athletic teams weren't present, having been beaten into unconsciousness by Akane, who he was glad to see was in her seat with time to spare.  
'Hmmmmm... Let's see... Yagami's not here. First day absent. Ah, well.' The teacher marked the box next to Ranma's name, and then turned toward the class.  
"Before we begin, we have two new students attending our classes. One is transferring from another school in the area, and the other is a visitor from the U.S. You may come in." The last was directed at the door, which opened as the two new students entered the classroom.  
Nearly every student immediately straightened in their seats as they got a look at the new additions to the class, and the teacher sighed to himself as some of the boys started drooling on their desks.  
Min smiled brightly. She was wearing the standard school uniform, and clearly filled it out to its limits. She had also tucked in the shirt so that it hugged her trim waist as much as possible, and even hiked up her skirt so that she showed more leg than the other girls in the class. "Hello! My name is Min Bogard! I'm really looking forward to being here!" Then she smirked, her eyes narrowing. "And before anybody asks, yes, they're real." Most of the girls gave her stares of disbelief.  
Tomas rolled his eyes as his cousin bowed to the class, causing half the boys to swallow their drool before they choked. For all that Min complained about male lechery, she sure encouraged it enough. "Hey there. My name's Tomas Bogard. I'm Min's cousin. I'm from the States, and I know Japanese pretty well." Several girls smiled at him pleasantly as he waved to the class. Though the only thing remarkable about his state of dress was that he wore his plated baseball cap in addition to the regular uniform, he still cut a handsome figure, and the girls certainly found him a welcome contrast to Min (whom many amongst them had already deemed a "top-heavy bimbo").  
The teacher gestured to the pair of martial artists to get their attention, then turned to the class. "Now, besides the fact that they're transferring so late in the semester, seeing how Mr. Bogard isn't from Japan, I suppose it would be best to have somebody show them around campus between classes. Any volun-"  
"I'LL DO IT!!!"  
"No! Me!!"  
"Forget it!! I know this school better than anyone! I should be the one!!"  
"I've lived here my whole life! Let me do it!!"  
"Perverts! You just want to hang around Min! A girl should do it!"  
"Like me!"  
"Hey, I saw him first!"  
Tomas and Min sweatdropped heavily as the entire room erupted into chaos and small scuffles. The only real exceptions were the teacher, who simply shook his head sadly, and a single short-haired girl in back, who was hiding her face as if ashamed to be among the student body.  
*Wham!* Everyone stopped what they were doing and jerked their heads toward the entrance as the door slammed open.  
Ranma glared out at them, his grip tightening on the doorknob. "What?!" This, surprisingly, didn't stop anyone from staring. Ranma had recovered significantly from before, but he still had charred areas on his face, neck, and hands, and his pants and shoes looked like someone had tried to use them to smother a bonfire.  
Muttering under his breath, Ranma walked across the front of the classroom, giving the two new students a quick glance before dismissing them completely.  
The teacher spoke before he could head to his desk. "Mr. Yagami, you're late."  
Ranma stopped, and his eye twitched. "It was a medical emergency."  
The teacher raised an eyebrow skeptically. "Oh really? I'll need a note-URK!!!"  
Ranma growled as he grabbed the man's shirt and yanked him close. "I SAID 'medical emergency'. Write it. NOW."  
The teacher nodded frantically, and marked the appropriate box on his records.  
Ranma let go of the teacher, sending the man stumbling back into the chalkboard. Then he turned toward the class, and sweatdropped as he noticed that they were still in a state of "frozen chaos", with all eyes trained on him. "What are you doing? Sit down!"  
As one, the students scrambled to their desks. Ranma snorted, then began heading toward his seat.  
As Min simply stared at the bizarre turn of events, Tomas turned toward the teacher.  
"Sensei? If it's all right with you, could Ranma show us around? We've met before." Ranma blinked, then sighed wearily as he realized that he had been given a task.  
The teacher nodded nervously. "If you say so. Seeing as there's suddenly a ring of empty desks around Mr. Yagami, you may have your choice of any of those seats." He waited until they had sat down, then turned back to the board, noting how Min was staring at Ranma curiously. "All right class, turn to page 243... er... Mr. Yagami, I notice you don't have your textbooks with you."  
Ranma glared up at him, and the older man gulped. "Sure I do," he insisted bitterly, scooping his hand into his jacket pocket. Then he opened his hand above his desk, letting a small stream of ash fall into a pile on his desk. The entire class sweatdropped.  
"The problem is telling my history book from my math and English books," Ranma speculated sarcastically.  
The teacher's face darkened considerably. "Er... right. Carry on." Then he turned to the board once more, and began the day's lesson.  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Ranma tiredly led the two Bogards on a short tour of the Furinkan campus, pointing out all the sites of interest and importance. This was significantly hampered by the fact that he himself had only attended the school for five days, but Ranma felt he covered the basics.  
"This is where Kuno's 3rd period class is. The janitor usually keeps the hall windows on this level open, so it's pretty easy to knock him outside if he attacks."  
Tomas scratched his head under his cap. "Uhm... is there any reason why you're listing certain people's classes and ways to avoid or beat them?" Min looked similarly confused.  
"Yes." Ranma replied simply, then turned toward a row of lockers. "This is where Akane passes by every fourth period. The students who hold buckets usually stack them up in a little pyramid here without emptying the water first, so if she's angry at you she'll try to knock you into them, or vice versa."  
Ranma led the two confused teenagers onward through the hall, before gesturing to what he considered to be the most important structure on campus.  
"This is the cafeteria. It's decent enough, and it's cheap, so the good stuff sells out pretty quickly. It gets pretty loud and crowded in here during lunch, so personally I prefer to eat outside."  
He turned toward his small audience. "Well, that's it. What class do you have next? I can show you there."  
Tomas was already getting out his class schedule to answer the question when Min stepped forward.  
"Now wait a minute. All you showed us was the gym, the field, the cafeteria, and the daily paths of two people named Akane and Kuno."  
Ranma stared blankly at her. "Yes... and the problem would be...?"  
"What about the other buildings? Is a there a science lab? A computer lab? A practice hall? A LIBRARY?"  
Ranma frowned, annoyed. "Look, I told you what I know, all right? You can talk to somebody else if you need to know the rest of the place." He turned around to leave, but to his increasing frustration, the girl simply ran in front of him.  
That frustration turned to confusion as she smirked and crossed her arms under her breasts. "Fair enough. There is ONE matter I'd like to ask about though."  
Ranma raised an eyebrow, and stuck his hands in his pockets. "Go on..."  
Min grinned. "You're a fighter, right? I need someone to practice with, maybe even train with. If you're good enough, you could be my partner." She smiled suggestively, and stuck her hip out slightly to one side.  
Tomas sighed and covered his face with his hand.  
Ranma stared flatly at her for a moment, before briskly turning away. "Thanks for the offer, but no." Deeming the matter concluded, he turned around and began to walk away, only to find himself yanked back by the determined ninja girl.  
"And why not?" Min demanded. Then her eyes narrowed. "You don't have... PROBLEMS... fighting girls, do you?"  
Ranma was about to answer honestly, when he caught Tomas shaking his head frantically and mouthing "No" over and over again.  
Ranma snorted and snatched his jacket away, causing Min to flinch back slightly at the blatant rejection. "Naw, that's not it. What makes you think I'm a fighter, anyway?"  
"Well gee, I don't know," Min began sarcastically, "you move like one, you talk like one, you act like one, and you sure looked like one coming in this morning." She stopped, and smirked at the pigtailed boy. "Unless your little sister gave you all those nasty burns."  
*Thud*  
Min and Tomas blinked. "Why did you fall down?" The former asked.  
"The irony hit me," Ranma replied sourly as he stood up. "Okay, fine, I do some martial arts. I'm still not gonna train with you, though."  
Min fumed, quite furious that not only had her request been refused, but also that a teenage boy, and a rather handsome one at that, was completely ignoring her womanly charms, which knocked most men flat on their backs.  
Then she smiled slightly. "Oh... I get it... afraid you'll be shown up by a girl, eh?"  
Ranma twitched, and his hands clenched into fists. Normally he would have come back with a witty (or at least egotistical) come-back, but he was having too bad a day for that, and his own blasted conscience wouldn't allow him to simply pummel a girl into submission, as he would have done to a male in her position.  
Min flinched back as Ranma glared coldly at her, and he stepped forward.  
"LOOK. I've had a REALLY bad day so far! I've been attacked, scorched, and prodded, all before I even got to school! And then when I get here, I'm chosen to play tour guide for the new students! I do NOT need to take this! I'm positive that today's going to get worse just fine on its own without the help of someone I don't even know!" Ranma advanced forward with every sentence, and by the time he finished, Min was fighting to keep her balance as she leaned backward.  
Feeling that he had gotten his point across, Ranma turned around to leave.  
"Yagami! There you are!" Daisuke ran into the hallway, quickly followed by Hiroshi.  
"Good thing we found you! Kuno's back in school! And he's out for blood! Carrying a REAL sword!" Hiroshi was practically biting his nails as he spoke.  
Ranma groaned. "I hate being right all the time."  
"YAGAMI!!! SHOW YOURSELF, AND SUBMIT TO HEAVEN'S PUNISHMENT!!!"  
Daisuke started sweating. "Geez Yagami, what'd you do to him?"  
Tomas blinked as Ranma started banging his head on a wall of lockers. "Uh... is that the same Kuno that you-"  
"Yes." Ranma answered curtly, cutting him off.  
"Uh huh." Tomas turned toward Min. "Look, maybe we should go."  
Min stared at him oddly. "Go? Now? Right when things are starting to get interesting?"  
"YAGAMI!!! AT LAST I FACE YOU!!!"  
  
Ranma turned tiredly toward Kuno. The older boy was back, and was, in fact, carrying a real katana as opposed to a training bokken. The fact that he had a visible, vertical scar on his right cheek and several bandages visible even with his usual kendo outfit on was not lost on Ranma.  
"Kuno, you're... alive..." Ranma trailed off as an internal battle took place. "Good," he added reluctantly.  
Kuno laughed uproariously, despite that it probably hurt quite a bit. "Fool! You think you can slay one so great as I! Even your demonic powers are no match for the wrath of the Blue Thunder!" Tatewaki leveled his blade toward Ranma, and Hiroshi and Daisuke quickly backed off. "I've come to vanquish you once and for all, lowly demon, and end your evil reign!"  
Tomas growled and cracked his knuckles. "Hey, you need any help with this jerk, man? That's no toy he's waving around." He would have added that the boy was also clearly delusional with the world's biggest superiority complex, but felt that it went without saying.  
Ranma shook his head and stepped away from the American. "I can take him." Then he glared hard at Kuno. "Whether it's wood or live steel, you're still a moron! Go to class before I send you back to the hospital!"  
Kuno smirked. "Your insults are as wind striking stone, foul Yagami, and I will not be swayed. My purpose is clear, and my destiny lies with your grave!"  
Min nudged her cousin slightly. "I think this loon is serious!" Then she sweatdropped as she saw he was thumbing through an English/Japanese dictionary.  
"Where is it... where is it... damn, this guy talks weird..."  
Kuno rambled on, oblivious to the two new students. "For the heart of the pigtailed girl, whom you so jealously enslave! For my dearest Akane Tendo, whom you so callously mock! For brave Hibiki, who I have not seen since our cumulative defeat, and I fear may be entombed in the hard, cold Earth even as we speak! For all of humanity, I shall vanquish thee, foul monster, so that-"  
*Wham!!* Ranma kicked a locker into Kuno, smashing him into the opposite wall.  
"Shut up Kuno," Ranma snarled, then walked up to the mess of metal and man and snatched away the katana. "And stop waving this thing around before you lop off your own head!" Grumbling to himself irritably, Ranma gave the locker one last kick, aware that Kuno's presence had attracted a small crowd in the hallway.  
He began to stalk toward his next class, when yet again, Min ran in front of him. "Now what?!"  
Min frowned at the tone he was using, but didn't mention it. He did say he was having a bad day, after all. "Ranma Yagami, in the name of the School of Shiranui style Ninjitsu, I, Min Bogard, challenge you!"  
Ranma twitched.  
Tomas sighed and shook his head. "This is gonna be a LONG day."  
  
**********************************************************************************  
End Chapter 6  
  
Gouka rippuku - Hellfire rage  
  
Author's Notes:  
For those of you wondering about Yurumi's powers, they will be mostly chiseled out in future chapters, but here's the basics if you haven't already figured them out. She's got the general flame powers, but to a very small degree. She hasn't been raised as a fighter, so its more a utility than a weapon. The berserker blasts are totally uncontrollable, and are relative to the amount of danger/general situation she's in. A bee constitutes a napalm-like bomb blast, while a threat to her life causes the Earth-shattering hellfire. That's all. 


	7. Out of the Frying Pan

The scene starts out with a blank stage with a single microphone in the center. Both sides of the stage are covered by a curtain, while a cheesy "KoF '99" backdrop dominates everything. All in all, very much like something seen on "Comedy Central Presents".  
Black Dragon, wearing his classic (typical) black long-sleeve shirt (6.99 at K-Mart) and sweatpants (as if he wears anything else).  
Frowning at the frequent and over-critical comments that keep appearing in parenthesis, BD clears his throat and takes the microphone.  
"Hello everyone, and welcome to another installment of Yagami 1/2, the ONLY fanfic I write that isn't reminiscent of watching a Monty Python flick while totally inebriated. Today I would like to address some issues that have come up."  
Black Dragon takes out a folded piece of paper from his pocket, and unfolds it in one hand.  
"One of my... 'fans'... has volunteered some of his valuable time to nitpick, er... point out everything that I do wrong with this story. I will now present these issues and explain them for the benefit of all my readers. The message goes something like this:"  
[As for grammer and spelling this was good.  
But as for the plot:  
This became almost painful to read... that or I almost hung myself with over-suspending disbelief.  
You've reduced Ranma's skills to inherited traits... sayian like... with free I-double-in-power-when-I-get-beat-tup upgrades... into when ever I sleep. Almost anyway... he seems to get weaker after age 10.  
Loose ends like why did Nodoka go from Nerima class roof hopping martial artist with rewrite mind to worship me with aura to extremely infertal (only 2 kids after that much effort, that many times, that often) background charicter?  
Speaking of auras... isn't the purple flames a physical manifestation of the chi of HATE? Ranma... who's to happy go lucky to get mad is produces it like most people do body heat... from what? It makes no sence.  
Where did Iori get the Neko-ken book?  
Why did Genma have hair back then? Why did Genma slack off that much? Why does all the benifits of Genma's training and effort get in Ranma anyway?  
Ranma was so powerful at 6 six... Why?  
Breaking point manditory? Also marithon buffet style training? Ryouga took a week to learn it and it suprized Colonge with its speed... your using it like its common for the rank and file amazons to use it... they won't survie the training... thats why its a secret technic and not a right of passage... and the boulder wouldn't break for hours... your destroying them in minutes.  
Lovely group of amazon valley girls you got their... real likely they'd get away with that attitude in the village.  
Why does Ranma have such a hard time with the easier training technics at 10 than the harder ones at 6?  
Did Ranma go through training with bamboo poles over nails? Why is it ''Balance practice. Not his thing." he did it earlier.  
Iori's reaction to the springs of... do it just don't fall in... that came from where?  
Yes! Manhaters apoligise to random men for the offence of walking near them constantly... expesially at the future matriarch. *FEEL the sarcasim*  
Why did the amazons go several hours away from the villiage(not to mention 100 feet from a forbiden area) to break rocks? Thats just to contrived.  
Come to think of it... those poles will suppose over 400 pounds of Panda with easy... exactly how heavy is Iori?  
The point of the curse? they tend t be custom picked for the person... chaos magic warping reality to almost plot contrivance... thats what it does.  
Where did all this '-MAN-' stuff come from... the story makes no real point of this previous to this point... suddenly its all important.  
This just doesn't feel like a Ranma story...  
It has its good point (the third spring you mentioned was amusing) but spends too much time triing to suck p random altered Ranma elements and not enough being sensible.  
Also... that was depresion at the end... unless that was some bizzarre self-hate thing]  
By the end, Black Dragon is clearly twitching in irritation, and a vein is throbbing on the side of his head. "I'd like to thank Necratoid for that wonderful bit of well-reasoned and thoughtful bitc-uh-criticism! You may notice that he also complimented my spelling and grammar, and reading his review, it's no wonder he thought that it was worth noting."  
Without warning, Ranma poked his head in from the side of the stage. "BD, that was the first ff.net review you ever got for this story. On the first chapter! Why are you explaining this NOW?"  
Black Dragon sweatdropped. "Well, as the story develops further, I thought it might be necessary to put all these little 'potholes' to rest."  
"Uh huh," Ranma deadpanned, clearly not believing him, "couldn't think of a new omake, eh?"  
"Hey! Shut up!" Ranma smiled at ducked back behind the curtain. BD straightened, then addressed the readers once more.  
"Okay. Issue 1: Ranma's power. Now, obviously, this is reminiscent of the all-too-common and much disliked 'throw a bunch of free power-ups on Ranma' theme. However, his advantage in battle is still mostly skill. Simply because he started out with a weapon that can replace a ki blast in a pinch doesn't mean the guy was just hanging around practicing blowing things up for 16 years. Yes, he's stronger, but his inherited abilities add TO his skill, they don't replace it. The Orochi thing is far more complicated than going superhuman when he's beaten up; otherwise Akane would've been ripped in two by the third chapter. His Orochi power is sort of the weakness to psyche, the 'better and bloodier' neko-ken, if you will. And he doesn't get weaker after he's ten. Stop making stuff up."  
BD coughed into his fist. "Nodoka. She was never a roof-hopper. She just jumped out of a window. And hurt herself doing it. Hell, I could do that. While she's kept up marginal practice, she doesn't spend much time on it, so her skills are fairly rusty. Why does this matter again? And as for infertility... I don't know. Make something up. She's sterile, she was using birth control, whatever. It doesn't strike me as nearly important enough to mention, and certainly not a 'loose end'."  
Black Dragon looks back down at the note. "Let's see... auras. Yagami flames? Manifestation of hate? Uhm... no. I'd be the first to admit I'm not as well-versed as I should be in KoF for writing this fanfic, but I'm certain that I've studied Yagami's story enough to know that the flames have nothing to do with hate. And as for where Iori got the neko-ken book... who knows? Where did Genma get the neko-ken book? More importantly, who cares?"  
"Okay, as for Genma, I thought it was explained fairly well, but here goes: Hair. Doesn't matter. Why did Genma slack off? Doesn't matter, but I at least have an explanation for it. He had no reason to continue his art. Without a son to pass his skills on to, what would motivate him to keep training? We all know Genma's lazy. Without Ranma around to spar with, or Happousai to work him into the ground, I'll bet he wouldn't even get any exercise. His skills? Benefits? Transferred to Ranma? Well that's just silly. For one, Iori knows some Anything-Goes, obviously, and he taught that to Ranma. Two, Iori's training wasn't the same as Genma's, but was just about as effective. Three, Ranma's ability to learn, adapt, and improve himself hasn't changed just because half the genes in his body have (deal with it!). Genma never struck me as a very good teacher; he did get results, but looking at how well Ranma improves himself without Genma's instruction during the course of the series, I'm wondering how much of his skill can be attributed to Genma."  
Black Dragon sighs as he looks at the next question. "He was powerful at six because of the flame. Ranma was always real good, even as a kid. Just look at the Ukyo and Ryoga flashbacks. But the Yagami fire gave him a huge boost right off the bat. For the purposes of fighting other six-year-old martial artists or common street thugs, it was more than enough. As he's grown up, the other martial artists have time to learn new skills to compensate for Ranma's flames."  
*Sigh* "Okay! Amazons! The breaking point technique! One! The technique itself is mostly useless; it's the benefit of being smashed into boulders that's the real training. So whether they learned the technique or not wasn't important, just so long as they didn't cripple themselves with the training. Two! As I recall, Cologne was smacking Ryoga over the head for not learning it fast enough, not the other way around. And if he had learned it that quickly, then it wouldn't have been that effective, as it's the 'misses' that provide the real benefits. Third! 'Secret' technique? Must not be real secret if Cologne is willing to teach it to some guy she just met who wants to kill her son-in-law!"  
BD laughed for a moment, then coughed into his fist. "Er... harder time with easier techniques at 10? What the %*#$ are you talking about? Oh well. Next one... hmmmm... Iori was the one that 'balance practice. Not his thing' was referring to. Not that he couldn't do it, but Iori doesn't have to put himself through anything stupid if he doesn't feel like it. Iori's comment? It came from his mouth. What are you trying to say here?"  
BD sighs as he looks over the next lines. "All right, look, there's no indication that the Amazons are 'manhaters'. I mean, where the heck do you people get this anyway? Does the way Shampoo throws herself at Ranma and begs for his attention give the impression of a 'manhater' to you? Or the way Cologne tries to ensnare him, rather than knocking him out and carting him off to China to force him to live as breeding stock? Why shouldn't she apologize? Yeesh."  
Black Dragon hums to himself as he scans down the list. "Let's see... next question... doesn't matter... next question... Iori never touched a pole. Irrelevant." BD blinks at the next line. "Custom-picked for the person? Chaos magic? What the heck is this? Where did this come from? Show me where the Jusenkyou guide's speech bubbles explain this, because I sure don't remember it, and maybe the manga can explain it better."  
BD adjust his glasses, and brings up the microphone again. "And! Now, for the only totally relevant and impartial question in this entire review! 'What is with the MAN thing?'!"  
BD holds the microphone up dramatically, then drops it down again. "It's already been explained. Sorry if I didn't emphasize it enough for your tastes, but deal with it. The depression thing as well. Call it self-hate if you want, I don't care."  
Ranma pokes his head out again. "Yo, Drags, we're outta time. Move it, man."  
BD nods. "Right. Anyway, once again, that was Necratoid. Thank you, good sir, for polluting my review board with your inane and mostly pointless concerns. Now, on with the story!"  
*Crack!* *Creak* Some snapping noises are heard in the background, and suddenly the backdrop begins to fall over. BD's eyes widen, and he tries to get out of the way in time.  
*Smash!* Not quite...  
Ranma stepped out again, wincing. "Ouch. That's gonna leave a mark. Oh well." Ranma yanks on a rope next to him, and the curtain closes.  
  
Yagami 1/2  
A Ranma 0.5/King of Fighters Crossover  
by Black Dragon  
revcoll@peoplepc.com  
http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/fanficlair/index.html  
  
I, Black Dragon, Lord of Chaos, hereby give my permission to have Yagami 1/2 turned into a sappy action/romance shoujo thingy with lots of violence and explosions. Yeesh. These authorization things are harder than I thought. I also don't own anyone I didn't make up.  
  
Chapter 7  
Out of the Frying Pan...  
**********************************************************************************  
  
Ranma stared with half-lidded eyes at the perky girl who was pointing at him challengingly.  
"What?"  
Min frowned. "I said, 'I, Min Bogard of-'"  
"I heard you! I heard you!" Ranma shouted, frustrated. "Why do you want to challenge me?"  
"What difference does it make?" Min asked, frowning. Then she reached behind her back and revealed a closed combat fan before jabbing it in Ranma's direction. "Do you accept?"  
Ranma sweatdropped. "Now? Between classes?"  
Min blinked. "Uh..." she spared a glance at Tomas, who was off to the side, but saw that he was just leaning against the wall, holding his face in his hand. No help there. "Well... sure! Why not?"  
Ranma looked to either side of him, noting that a small crowd was gathering around them, seemingly unconcerned with the impending bell. Grumbling a bit to himself, he looked down at the fine steel katana he had taken from Kuno. For a moment he just stared at it, turning it over in his hand and watching as the hall lights glinted off the unmarred metal blade.  
Min's frown deepened, and she snorted before turning around pointedly, facing towards the lockers lined up in the hallway against the wall. "Feh! Figures. The toughest guy around turns out to be a wimp after all. What a waste." She clicked her tongue a bit as she shook her head. "It's probably for the best, though. I don't like fighting weaklings, anyway."  
*Ka-shink!* Min's eyes widened and she jumped to the side as a katana stabbed into the locker immediately to her right, shooting sparks as it pierced the grated metal door.  
Whipping around, Min flipped her fan open, the metal of the bladed edges sending a flash of light through the hallway.  
Ranma was smiling, much to Min's surprise. It was a twitchy, disturbed, 'I am SO pissed off right now' kind of smile, but it was a calmer response than she had been expecting.  
A vein throbbed slightly on the side of his head. "To be perfectly honest, I try not to fight girls if I can help it." He began massaging his wrist, and the hand being cradled started glowing purple. "Not that you're weak or anything, it's just a policy of mine."  
Min's eyes narrowed, and she crouched low, staring at him warily. "But..."  
"BUT," Ranma began, calming a bit, "I've been having a bad day, so if you INSIST that I fight you..."  
Tomas' eyes widened, and he began to shout a warning. "Min, look-"  
*Wham!!* Min yelped and jumped to the side as Ranma's fist sunk into the locker door, smashing it through easily.  
"... Then I accept," Ranma stated simply before yanking his fist out of the twisted metal box.  
Min gulped slightly, but got into her stance. 'Damn, he's faster than I thought! I barely even saw him cross the distance between us! If he had actually been aiming for me, I might be down already!'  
Taking out a second bladed fan, Min whipped it open and stood up straight, pointing the edges of her weapons at her opponent. "All right then Yagami, let's go!"  
  
Ranma stood up straight, cracking his knuckles. 'Damn it. What am I doing? It's almost time for class to start, and I'm fighting some hyper schoolgirl. Why can't I get through English without punching somebody like every other guy?'  
Min narrowed her eyes at her opponent, then leapt back, throwing one fan into the air. "Kachou sen!" The fan began spinning upon leaving her hands, reminding Ranma of a saw blade that had come off of the rest of the machine.  
'Shoot. Not much room to dodge in here, especially with the crowd. Oh well.' The shriek of metal filled the hall as Ranma shoved his hand into the locker immediately next to him, pulling it from the wall into the path of the projectile.  
*Shreeek!* Sparks flew as the blade dug into the steel, and Ranma leapt over the obstacle and hit the ground rolling, coming up just as Min closed on him with a haymaker. Ranma blocked the punch, and then shifted to avoid the following jab, turning as he did to lash out with a high roundhouse.  
Min leapt back from kick, then darted in again to slash with one of her fans, only to have her attack batted aside before receiving a quick jab in her face. Wincing from the hit, she back flipped away, and nearly fell over on top of herself when she landed with her back scraping the wall.  
'Damn, not enough room! This is hurting me more than him!' Hoping to put Ranma off-balance, she let another war fan fly as she regained her equilibrium and worked out a strategy.  
Ranma, determined as he was to end this fight, forwent any complex dodging or impressive displays of agility. "Shikyo hana!" His fist lit ablaze with purple fire, and Min's eyes widened right before she dove out of the way.  
*Boom!* Ranma's flaming fist tore through the fan with ease, impacting heavily against the wall Min was previously backed up against. Turning, Ranma stepped back to avoid a foot sweep, and then charged his opponent, hitting the ill-prepared ninja girl with his shoulder and smashing her against the opposite wall of the hallway.  
The crowd let out cheers and yells of encouragement to both fighters as each stood; Ranma to regain his balance, and Min to regain her senses.  
Ranma stared expressionlessly at his foe, then calmly raised one hand, palm up. *Fwoosh* Purple embers danced around his fingers, and Min caught herself staring in fascination. "Give up yet?"  
Min coughed, then grinned as she wiped her cheek with the back of her hand. "Not in your life!" Then, turning toward a nearby window to her left, she dove outside, shattering the glass with her body as she tucked into a somersault.  
  
Back in the school, several students sweatdropped.  
"She could have just opened it," Hiroshi remarked.  
"Or used the open window to her right. It was, what, like a foot farther away?" Tomas added.  
*BRRRRRRRRRRRING!!*  
Ranma looked up, considering. "Maybe I should just go to class..." *Shing!* Ranma ducked as a fan whizzed by his head, cutting into the ceiling and destroying a hall light.  
"Or maybe not," he sighed, then jumped through the already-open window, the cheers of the student body following his short descent.  
  
Upon touching the ground, he noted that there were a number of students gathering around the windows who weren't watching before, apparently attracted by the sound of shattering glass.  
'Sheesh. Don't any of them care about getting to class?' Ranma dusted off his hands, then turned toward Min, who was smirking at him.  
To her credit, she didn't have a mark on her from breaking through the window beyond a few small rips in her uniform. Still, Ranma had been only marginally impressed with her abilities so far, and wondered if more open terrain would really make a difference in the outcome of this battle.  
Min closed one of her war fans and pointed it at Ranma, smiling. "You're good! Very good! But now it's time to get serious! Hee-YAH!!!"  
Rather than attacking, as Ranma would have expected from such an exclamation, Min grabbed the sleeve of her uniform and whirled around, obscuring her form for just a moment in a whirlwind of cloth.  
Ranma blinked. Min stood before him once more, but now she was wearing some sort of skimpy ninja outfit. It was mostly composed of two long cotton strips of blue and white cloth tied at her waist that came up over her breasts and over her shoulders, and were again tied at her waist in back, ending in two cloth tails. Those same two strips merged into one to cover her front below the waist, but not very well.  
  
Inside the school building, Tomas covered his face with his hand in mortification as he leaned on the windowsill. He had seen Mai wearing that exact type of outfit before, only in a red and white color scheme. He had honestly believed that they'd never have actually worn that in public, never mind a fight.  
Of course, given the elevated volume and number of wolf whistles, at least half the general public didn't mind one bit.  
  
Min took a moment to pose for her foe, who was simply staring in disbelief with a sweatdrop on the back of his head. "Well? What do you think?" She grinned as the noise from the school increased.  
Every so slowly, Ranma raised his hand to scratch his head. "Uh... where'd the skirt go?"  
Min giggled. "A skirt's too hard to fight in. And this complements my body much better, don't you think?" She winked suggestively.  
Ranma's hand moved to rub his chin slightly. "Isn't it cold in that thing? Spring just started, ya know. What if it rains?"  
Min blinked and stopped posing. "Er... well, it keeps the right parts warm, I guess. And I don't wear it when it rains."  
Ranma crossed his arms, frowning. "Is it really that easy to move in? I mean, it sorta makes sense, 'cause you're half naked, but with those weird tails, it seems like you'd be tripping all over the-"  
"Hey!" Min interrupted irritably, "Would you stop criticizing my dress and just leer at it like everybody else?!"  
"All right, all right, sorry! Yeesh." Ranma muttered to himself, and quite deliberately focused his gaze on Min's cleavage. "Is that better?"  
She nodded. "Much. Kachou sen!" A fan whizzed through the air, and Ranma jumped over it, twisting to aim a hammer punch at the ninja girl. Now that he had plenty of space to maneuver, he found the projectiles much easier to deal with.  
Min backed away from the aerial attack, then lashed out with a back kick that pegged Ranma on the arm.  
Shrugging off the hit, Ranma punched for the ninja girl's face, which she quickly darted away from.  
Min tried two more quick jabs, each of which were quickly deflected, and then felt Ranma's boot dig into her midsection. Grimacing, she twisted completely around, calling out the name of one the Shiranui style's trademark attacks. "Ryuuen bu!"  
Ranma blinked as the cloth tails hanging off of Min's waist whipped around, wondering what that was supposed to do. Then fire flared around them, and his eyes widened as the attack hit home, smashing into him with far more force than he would have thought it could.  
Ranma hit the ground hard, rolling to gain some distance and put out the small embers on his body.  
"Hissatsu shinobi bachi!" Doing a cartwheel on the ground, she crossed the distance between her and Ranma, holding her elbow out to slam into his chest.  
Ranma merely blocked, his larger body mass easily holding him upright and balanced as Min put her whole body weight into the attack. "Kind of a long name for an elbow charge, don'cha think?"  
Then he blinked as Min clasped his shoulders. "I agree!" Flipping over Ranma's head, her feet touched the ground again right before she tossed the pigtailed boy overhead, throwing him into a nearby tree. "That's why I had to improve upon it a little!"  
Ranma's eye twitched as he slowly slid to the ground, headfirst. "All right," he muttered, rolling onto his back and then slowly picking himself up. "No more mister nice guy." His aura flared slightly, and the air around him began to distort around him as he was surrounded by a corona of purple heat.  
Min looked a bit less sure of herself now. 'Oh well. Too late to keep from pissing him off now. But does getting angry make him stronger, or make him sloppier?' Deciding to find out, she crossed her arms in front of her, a bladed fan in each hand. "Sui chou no mai!" Her own aura flashed, and she let her two fans fly before snatching up another one and tossing it too, each one lighting ablaze as they whirled toward their target.  
Ranma's eyes narrowed, and he snorted as the fiery projectiles flew towards him. "Time to end this! Ya otome!" Ranma's aura exploded around him, and he shot forward low to the ground, easily zipping under the burning weapons.  
  
Inside the school building, Tomas winced repeatedly as he watched Min get the tar beaten out of her.  
"Ouch! Ooh! Oh! Ow!" The crowds of students joined him, several of them making sympathetic, pained noises.  
"That had to hurt!"  
"Now that's fast!"  
"She's gonna feel that in the morning!"  
Tomas moved his hand from where he'd covered his eyes, only to cover them again as Ranma shoved Min to the ground and leaned over her for the second phase of his special combo.  
"Wow! Look at that!"  
"Gods! How brutal!"  
"Damn! And I thought Yagami was rough on Kuno!"  
The last explosion echoed through the school grounds, and a thin trail of smoke wafted up through the tall trees ringing the school courtyard. Shaking his head, Tomas turned away from the window and took out his class schedule. He was already late for whatever class was held next, but he wasn't about to cut the class entirely.  
"Hey look! Yagami's dragging Bogard into the school!"  
"Into the nurse's office?"  
"I hope so. Did you see how many times he hit her?"  
"I couldn't count; he was moving too fast. Wasn't that part at the end a bit much, though?"  
"Hey, she did challenge him. Play with fire, and you get burned."  
"Nice analogy."  
"Huh? Oh! Heh. I just got that."  
Tomas considered for a moment, then pocketed the schedule and asked a nearby student directions to the nurse's office. He hated chemistry anyway.  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Ryoga looked up into the crisp, clear sky, wondering.  
He spent a lot of time thinking, contrary to popular opinion. And he got so much time alone as he wandered aimlessly, it could be said that he did ALL his thinking on the road, with nobody around.  
Sadly, his thoughts were often as misguided, random, and inadequate as his path of travel. It was actually quite rare that he thought up anything but fleeting fantasies; ghostly images of him standing over a beaten and bloody Ranma Yagami, the poor fool begging for mercy below him.  
*Poke*  
Then there was that other one with a raging, psychotic Orochi Ranma being carted away in a big cage by the people in white coats.  
*Poke*  
Rather silly, that one. Ryoga was pretty sure there was no metal cage that could hold Ranma, much less in his beserk state.  
*Poke* "Hey mister!"  
Then there was that other one, where Akane was taking him in pig form to take a bath, and put him in...  
*Poke* *Poke* "Mister! Hey! Are you awake?"  
A bit of drool leaked from the side of Ryoga's mouth as that fantasy progressed a bit. Then he shook his head wildly, his face reddening. Like she'd ever take it THAT well.  
*Poke* *Poke* "Is he dead?" "No, I just saw him move!" "Why is he blushing?"  
But this was no time for erotic fantasies! He had some serious thinking to do!  
*Poke* "This isn't working. Hand me the ball."  
Ryoga pressed his fingers to his head in concentration and grit his teeth.  
*Bump*  
A couple beads of sweat slipped down his brow. Almost there...  
*Bump*  
And then, like a single ant crawling out from under a bucket of sand, a blinding, fantastic revelation broke through the foggy surface of his mind.  
*Bump* *Bump* "He still won't move!"  
'I can't beat Ranma. He's better than me.'  
It was the single greatest mental achievement Ryoga had made in months.  
"Let's just play around him!" "We can't! He's in the way!" "Hey, let's doodle on him!"  
It was true, and as the reality of his admission sunk in, he felt himself sink into depression. All his training, hard work, and moronic relentlessness; all for naught. Ranma was still better than him, damn the stupid pyro, and no short-term improvement or general training could possibly even the odds enough to change the eventual outcome of their next battle.  
*Bap* *Pow* "Look! He doesn't even notice when you kick him!" "Let's pour sand in his shirt!"  
Ryoga frowned. Some long-term training was in order. Definitely. The kind that involved far away lands, deep forests full of dangerous animals, quarries with perilous boulders perched upon unstable rock piles, and relatively unclean, sub-standard Thai restaurants. It was time for a training journey.  
*Whang!!* Ryoga's head pitched foward, and he slowly turned around to see a young boy holding the aluminum baseball bat currently lodged in his skull.  
"What are you doing?" He asked miserably.  
The boy blinked, and several of his little companions backed away from the now-cognizant lost boy (who still didn't notice the drawings on his face or the sand in his shirt and pants).  
"Hey mister, why are you sitting down in the middle of the basketball court?"  
Ryoga blinked, and then looked around. On all sides of him, little children ran across the courts, clumsily dribbling large orange balls and tossing them at suspended hoops.  
"Oh. Uh... sorry." Getting up, Ryoga hefted his backpack onto one shoulder and walked in a random direction.  
'I will train hard! And then, in, say, a month-NO!! A few months, I will return and crush you, Yagami!'  
His depression floating away upon waves of mad determination, Ryoga began laughing insanely.  
"Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha hee bwee bwee bwee bwee!" Ryoga's backpack fell heavily atop the wet grass, and the small piglet struggled out from under his clothes.  
'Damn automatic sprinklers. They're out to get me, I know it. It's all a conspiracy. Ranma's conspiracy. Really.' Letting his thoughts trail off into incoherency (as if they had far to go), Ryoga walked out of the sprinkler radius and shook himself irritably, trying to dry himself, and completely forgetting that he'd have to go back to get his clothes and backpack anyway.  
"Oh! What a cute little piggy!"  
'!#%&!' Ryoga thought. Eye twitching as he was swept off his little hooves, the porcine martial artist found himself cuddled in the small arms of a little girl as she carted him off toward her friends, and away from his soggy supplies.  
Soon he was in the midst of it all, being handed from one little girl to the next like some kind of toy and being cuddled against chests and petted. And none of them had even developed breasts yet. What a gyp.  
"He's adorable! Are you going to keep him?"  
"No, my parents won't let me have a pet."  
"That's too bad. It looks like he could use a home. Look, he's all wet and dirty."  
"Why don't you take him Yurumi?"  
"Well, I... I guess I could. Actually, my brother has a cat now. Maybe Mom would let me have a pig."  
"If not, you should at least feed him something. The poor thing must be starving."  
Food? Now that could be good, as long as they didn't try to feed him normal pet food, or leftover slop. Looking up into the little girl's face, he squealed softly and started with his standard cute act.  
"Yeah! School's almost out. I'll just take him home then."  
It was odd though. The girl he was looking at seemed awfully familiar for some reason, and the longer he looked at her, the more he got a sense of foreboding and dread. Almost as if a faded memory was trying to jog his danger sense into high alert. But that was silly, right? What did he have to fear from some little redheaded girl?  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
*Groan* "Owww... what hit me?"  
Min felt a tingling sensation as her mind stepped into the blinding reception of full consciousness, and tiny shots of pain struck her as she started to move.  
"Sshh. It's alright. You'll be fine. Just rest."  
Min opened her eyes, and the harsh glare of fluorescent lights forced them closed again. "Ra... Ranma?" Well, at least she was assuming the mostly black blur in front of her was Ranma. All the other people at the school wore standard uniforms. Slowly blinking her eyes to adjust fully to the lighting, she could see Ranma smiling down at her from where he sat by her feet in one of the chairs that lined the wall of the room she was in.  
Shifting once more, she winced and tried to appraise her injuries. Multiple bruises, obviously, but at least she remembered getting those. The left side of her also felt somewhat oily. Was that burn tonic? When did he-?  
Then she managed to recall the end of the battle, she sweatdropped slightly. "Ouch."  
Ranma smiled slightly and looked a bit sheepish. "I guess I went a little too far. I'm sorry."  
Min smiled as she sat up, even as it irritated her bruises and sore arm. "There's nothing to be sorry for. I understand. Thank you."  
He looked surprised. "Thank you? For what?"  
"For taking me seriously in the end. For fighting me like a real opponent, and not pulling your punched because I'm a girl." Min stopped for a moment, then raised an eyebrow at her former foe. "Though I suspect you were going easy on me in the beginning."  
Ranma chuckled. "Well, it's a habit. Besides, I couldn't possibly damage that cute face of yours."  
Min grinned. "Well I deserve what I get, challenging a hot stud like you."  
Blushing slightly, Ranma stood up. "Well, I'll go get the nurse. You should rest."  
Ranma stopped as Min's hand lashed out, grabbing his wrist tightly. Hesitantly, he looked back to see if anything was wrong.  
"Please, I... don't go. Not yet." Min pleaded, feeling silly despite herself. What was it about Ranma's presence that she found so comforting?  
Blinking in confusion, Ranma allowed Min to pull him back towards the small bed. When he was about to take his former seat in the chair, Min tugged on his hand a bit, and he ended up sitting on the bed next to her legs instead.  
Min noted that her clothes had been changed into one of those tacky hospital gowns, and idly wondered about her former ninja outfit. Just as quickly, she banished her curiosity. There would be time for that later.  
"Are we... alone?"  
Ranma nodded. "Yeah. The nurse had some stuff to do, so she told me to get her if you needed anything. She also told me to lock the door, for a completely implausible reason that I won't try to explain."  
Min's hand tightened on Ranma's, and she felt her heart racing. Whether it was Ranma's deep blue eyes, the gentle caress of his hand, or the combination of painkillers she was on, the room seemed to be warming up rather quickly.  
"Well... there IS something I need... but I can't get it from the nurse..." She tugged his arm slightly, and the pigtailed boy leaned over her in concern.  
"No kidding? What's thammmph..."  
Min's lips folded over Ranma's, and she wrapped her arms around his waist, moving one hand up to hold the back of his head as she kissed him hungrily.  
Ranma responded immediately, returning the kiss with surprising passion. His hands fell onto the small bed as Min pulled him down on top of her, and he then slowly lowered the both of them down, gently pressing his weight against Min's firm, tender body.  
Despite his gentleness, and the comfort of his hands slowly moving to roam over her thighs, Min couldn't help feeling the slight soreness from her movements, and took firm hold of Ranma's back as she rolled to move on top.  
  
*Thud* "Ow!"  
"Min! Are you okay?"  
Min groaned and moved her hand to massage her nose, sore from the impact against the hard tile floor.  
Wait, it had hit the floor? And wasn't that Tomas's voice?  
Blinking to adjust to the light, Min held her slightly throbbing head with one hand while pushing herself up with the other. Upon standing, she saw Tomas sitting backwards in a chair next to her bed, his arms resting on the backrest.  
"Tomas? What are you doing here?"  
"I've been sitting here for a while now. I wanted to make sure you were okay." Tomas answered casually. No big deal to him.  
"You shouldn't be up quite yet, young lady. Let the ointments settle in for little while longer; they'll help your burns."  
Min turned to see a gentle-looking middle-aged woman smiling at her, doubtlessly the nurse.  
She turned back to Tomas, then her head swiveled to look at the nurse. Then she quickly scanned the rest of the room.  
"Where's Ranma?"  
"Yagami?" Tomas asked, blinking, "he took off after he carried you here."  
Min blinked, then frowned. "That wasn't very romantic of him."  
Tomas and the nurse sweatdropped.  
"Uh... well, no, I guess it wasn't." Tomas muttered.  
"Mr. Yagami had classes. Otherwise, I'm sure he'd be here with you." The nurse doubted it, but it wasn't her problem. "For now, back into bed. And try not to roll out this time."  
"Sorry," Min said, climbing back onto the small cot. "How long was I out for?"  
"Two hours now," Tomas answered, yawning right after.  
Min's eyes widened. "Two hours?"  
"Well, I could see that you were sleeping quite deeply after a while, so I decided it was best to dress your wounds and let you rest," the nurse explained.  
Min sweatdropped slightly. "But if a person is knocked unconscious for two hours, shouldn't you take them to a hospital?"  
The nurse just smiled. "We used to, but after the third paramedic strike, and the scrapping of possible plans to build a rail system between Furinkan and the nearest emergency room, it was determined that outfitting Furinkan's medical branch to facilitate mass cases of blunt impact trauma, concussion, and other conditions that are generally associated with being beaten to within an inch of your life would be far more efficient and economical." She continued smiling, and handed Min a small, glossy pamphlet.  
"Here's some information about health insurance and low-cost, high-frequency medical care. Inside is an offer for 'Do It Yourself Chiropractic', a bestseller among our students, and an advertisement for Dr. Tofu, a very good local physician. Ask about his 'frequent fighter' program and save big on fixing minor skeletal fractures!" The nurse smiled brightly, laughing.  
Huge sweatdrops rolled down the two Bogards' heads.  
"Uhm... thanks." Min managed to spit out. She was slightly worried that she'd get in trouble for starting a fight and missing class, but that was seeming less and less likely.  
"It's no problem!" The nurse exclaimed, leaning over slightly to one side. "While you're here, may I ask if you plan on stopping by often?"  
Min blinked. "Well... not if I can help it, I assure you. I mean, I win most of my fights..."  
The nurse smiled a bit nervously. "I'm sure you do. But, if you plan on fighting often, you may want to rent out a personal bed!" 'Sheesh, advertising AND profiteering. It's so hard to get by on a public education salary nowadays.'  
Min twitched slightly. "A personal bed? What kind of an idiot gets beaten up so often that they've reserved a bed for themselves?"  
*Bam* The door opened suddenly, and all three occupants turned to see Hiroshi and Daisuke enter the room carrying a burned, fire-blackened husk between them.  
The nurse sighed. "Twice already? It's not even lunch yet. He could end up coming back two more times before the day is out."  
Hiroshi and Daisuke quickly carted Kuno to the end of the room, and then tossed him onto an elaborate, well-made bed with full sheets, fluffy pillows, and a thick comforter. A sign above the bed had [Tatewaki Kuno] written on it.  
The nurse frowned slightly. "Thank you boys, but why did you bring him here? You're not in his class, are you?"  
Hiroshi grinned. "Nabiki didn't want to get ash on her hands, so she said that we could do it, and charge Kuno her normal service fee!"  
Daisuke rubbed his hands, which were gray with soot. "Heh. Easiest 1000 yen I ever made."  
"But Nabiki usually charges..." the nurse trailed off, then shrugged. "Never mind. Was he just burned, or did he take any other hits?"  
Hiroshi shook his head. "Nah. He was blasted before he got within arm's reach. Oh! And could you give this to Kuno when he wakes up?" he handed the nurse a piece of paper, and she took it, blinking to herself.  
"'To the captain of the kendo club, the frequently-defeated bloody moron of Furinkan High: Though I'm impressed you managed to wrench your sword out of the locker, I'm keeping the stupid katana this time. Ranma Yagami. PS: Stop with the metal swords, or I won't put the fire out next time. Seriously.'" she finished reading, and then nodded, placing the note on the small table next to Kuno's bed.  
Min got a dazed look in her eyes, and she started rocking from side to side slightly. "My head hurts... and I don't think it's the painkillers wearing off..."  
Tomas turned toward her. "Well... I have to admit, I knew Japanese schools were different from the ones in America, but I really had no idea..."  
The nurse scanned Kuno's injuries for a moment, then decided that they were too extensive for her to deal with. Thus, ignoring Kuno completely, she turned around and noted that the two boys who had brought the crippled kendoist in were openly leering at Min (whose gown had mysteriously become undone at the neck right before she rolled off her bed).  
"All right you three, off to class with you. Injured people only." Shooing the male students away, she closed the door behind them, and then turned back to Kuno. Behind her, Min sighed lightly and put her head down, quickly falling into a light slumber.  
Shaking her head, the nurse took a nearby bucket and filled it with water. She didn't hold it against Ranma that he kept sending Kuno to her; the boy was clearly an idiot (not to mention an agressive one), and had become a regular patient far before Ranma had ever started going to Furinkan. Still, since the Yagami boy had arrived, Kuno's regular number of visits to her had tripled, and she'd had to significantly increase her stock of burn ointments.  
Of course, that didn't mean she had to use them EVERY time Kuno needed medical care.  
*Splash* Wet ashes dripped down the kendoist's expensive blankets. staining the damp comforter a dark gray.  
"I REALLY don't get paid enough for this," she muttered, and then left for the staff lounge.  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"Hey Tomas, is your cousin okay?"  
The American turned at Ranma's voice to see the pigtailed boy standing in his boxers in front of the locker across the narrow room. And although Ranma had asked it casually enough, Tomas could also tell that there was some real concern behind what may seem a question of obligation.  
He smiled slightly. "Yeah, she woke up before I left." He chuckled. "I think she was disappointed that you weren't there to greet her."  
Ranma snorted as he pulled on his gym pants. "Why? So that she could challenge me to a rematch after school?"  
Tomas blinked, then pulled his shirt down over his head. "Don't be stupid. What kind of an idiot would ask for a rematch so soon after a loss?"  
All at once, Tomas felt himself subjected to the incredulous stares of the entire locker room.  
Ranma sighed and jabbed a thumb at Tomas as he addressed the other boys. "He's new."  
"Ah"s of understanding reverberated through the room, and everybody went back to dressing.  
Tomas shook his head. It was very strange, true, but he had to admit, Furinkan seemed to be a lot more fun than the schools in South Town.  
  
The gym coach gave each of his students a harsh, arrogant glare as he walked down the length of the basketball court, casually tossing a basketball up in the air and catching it on the way down.  
The students mostly took his nasty looks with all the apathy of a rock caught outside in the rain. They had all been subjected to this many times before, and each knew that the man's bark was worse than his bite.  
Tomas didn't know this, but had the lofty, superior mental status of a man who knew he was looking at a total physical inferior. His nearly superhuman strength and speed made him a natural favorite of gym teachers. All he'd do is wait for a challenge and then impress the hell out of them.  
Eye contact was made. Tomas smirked. The coach frowned.  
"You there! Blondie! What's your name?!" He shouted, planting one fist on his left hip.  
Tomas tipped the bill of his cap up slightly, still smirking. "Tomas Bogard, reporting for duty, SIR." He let a little bit of mocking tone into his voice. He didn't like the man's attitude.  
The coach nodded. "I can see you're new here. Tell me, you a fighter?"  
Tomas looked away, smiling a bit more. "I like to think so."  
"One of them high-profile martial artist types?"  
Tomas blinked, but then smiled again. "High-profile? Yeah, sounds like me."  
The coach nodded, his face still serious. "How many stories can you jump?"  
Tomas's smile disappeared. "Uh... two, I guess. Probably three if I get a running start."  
"You use any weapons?"  
"No."  
"Can you knock down a tree by punching it?"  
Tomas blinked a few times. "Er... depends on how big a tree, but generally, yeah."  
"Steel girder?"  
"It'd hurt, but I could probably do it."  
"Can you turn invisible or phase out of normal space and/or time?"  
Tomas sweatdropped. "No."  
"Can you travel at supersonic speeds?"  
"Er... almost. Only in a straight line, though."  
"Can you fly, make continuous jumps in the air, or dematerialize into different states of matter?"  
Tomas twitched this time. "No. I can't do that."  
"Can you throw energy blasts of any size, power, or composition?"  
Tomas blinked repeatedly, scratching the back of his head. "Yeah, sure."  
"Can you create an aura so powerful or massive that it actually changes your physical form, spontaneously take on the form of a god or god-like being, or make people's heads explode by punching them?"  
Tomas slumped slightly. "No," he deadpanned.  
The coach nodded. "All right then. You're captain of team 1. Yagami, you're heading team 2."  
  
Sighing deeply, the American fighter took his place next to the coach. 'So much for impressing him.' "Yo, what is this anyway? What kind of game are we playing?"  
The coach smirked, turning away from the class. "Well blondie, today we happen to be playing..." suddenly he whirled around and jabbed his hand toward the crowd, making a "V" with his fingers. "MARTIAL ARTS BASKETBALL!!!" A backdrop with the Rising Sun of Japan's national flag rolled down behind him, and trumpets blared from out of nowhere.  
Tomas's mouth hung open slightly. "Martial arts... basketball?"  
The students behind him were less confused, but no less nonplussed.  
"Aw man, not again!"  
"I thought we were moving on to martial arts soccer?"  
"Can't we at least do an outside martial arts sport so we can watch the girls' class?"  
As the class broke down into disgruntled muttering, Tomas noticed that Ranma had taken his place on the court next to him, though the pigtailed boy was massaging his forehead irritably.  
"All right, you all know the rules, now split up and-"  
"Urm, yo, Coach? I don't know the rules." Tomas interrupted.  
The man blinked. "Oh. Right. Well, it's like this."  
The man pulled a chart down out of nowhere that displayed a large square representing the basketball court.  
"The rules are simple. It's just like regular basketball." The coach drew numerous "X"s onto the court in red pen to represent the players.  
Tomas scratched his head, frowning. "Then why-"  
"EXCEPT," the coach interrupted, "that each player gets his own ball." He turned to the chart and drew little circles in front of the X's, representing the basketballs.  
Tomas blink-blinked.  
"Players all make a mad dash to the other side of the court, and try to score points by landing the ball into the special hoops." He drew little arrows from the various "X"s that all intersected each other.  
"Special?" Tomas looked back at the basketball hoops, and realized that the netting was a lot longer than normal, and that the bottom was tied shut.  
The coach nodded. "Yes. Because each player tries to score by himself, defense is quick and clean. Players attack and try to disable their opponents as they pass by to shoot their own points!" The man's hand blurred, and soon there was a set of crossed battleaxes over every spot that two arrows met.  
A large sweatdrop rolled down Tomas's head.  
"Any time a ball is knocked out of an opponent's hand, players who have already scored points or lost their own starting ball can pick it up and try for more points." His hand blurred again, and some stick figures of unconscious people appeared on the chart, with a few arrows branching out from the fight symbols toward either basket.  
Tomas teetered to one side a bit, then fell over.  
"Sissy rules like fouls and boundary limits do not apply. The game ends when there are no more balls in play, or when one entire team is rendered unconscious. At that point, the total number of balls in each teams' basket is tallied, and the one with the most wins, regardless of whose team was knocked out." The coach's hand was once more a blur, and soon the box was filled with arrows, "X"s, balls, and battleaxes. Finally, he turned toward Tomas, who was picking himself off the ground. "Got all that, blondie?"  
"So in other words," Tomas mumbled, standing up fully, "it's nothing like regular basketball."  
The coach blinked, then looked back at his chart. After scratching his head, he turned back to the American and shrugged. "Pretty much." The man grabbed the bottom of the chart and snapped it down, causing the diagram to shoot back up to wherever it came from.  
Tomas sighed as people started gathering, one at a time, next to either him or Ranma. 'Gym class was never like this back in the States!'  
The coach waited until both teams were gathered around the captains, and then nodded in satisfaction. "All right, then gear up and get ready!" He tugged on a rope that hung from the ceiling next to him, and a section of bleachers lining the wall of the gym rolled out and to the side, revealing a cut-out section of the wall with weapon racks filled with clubs, bokkens, staffs, hammers, and nunchucks.  
"Weapons if you want 'em! And remember, you'll need one hand to dribble!" Tomas stood there and goggled at the sight and Ranma planted his fists on his hips as the rest of the class jogged for the weapons, grabbing up everything in sight.  
  
Tomas got in the middle of the left half of the basketball court as his team spread out around him, and watched Ranma and the opposing team do the same on the right half.  
The coach waited until everyone was in position, then raised his arm. "Now remember guys; it's just a game. It doesn't matter who wins."  
There was much rolling of eyes and nods of agreement.  
"Duh. Who cares?"  
"Yeah, if we put too much effort into it, we could get killed!"  
The coach smirked. "It only matters who LOSES!!!" The class blinked, and he continued. "Because the losing team has to do five laps around the school! Now GO!!!" His arm fell, marking the beginning of the game.  
The class stared at him for a moment, and their gazes slowly turned to meet their counterparts on the opposing team.  
And then, as one, the two great waves crashed into each other like two armies out for blood.  
  
Ranma cursed the gym teacher under his breath as he kicked an opponent in the shin, and then ducked under a wooden staff, dribbling his basketball all the while. Backhanding his attacker, Ranma lined up a shot with his ball and jumped into the air, avoiding a student who was charging under him. Pursing his lips, he wound his arm back before launching the ball across the court, slamming it against the backboard and causing the entire basket to shake slightly as the ball shot into the tied-off hoop.  
There was some scattered cheering, which Ranma ignored, landing on the back of another, more defensive opponent and kicking off the boy's back.  
Suddenly, there were cheers from the opposing team, and Ranma turned to see Tomas spin-kick somebody on the other end of the court, his hands noticeably empty.  
Ranma launched himself for some skirmishes that were taking place at the half-court line, and freed up two of his teammates to go for points as their counterparts hit the polished hardwook floor in bruised heaps.  
Seeing another basketball fly into the other hoop, Ranma ran across the ground and scooped up one for himself, laying next to a groaning Hikaru Gosunkugi.  
"Burn knuckle!"  
Ranma's eyes widened, and he hit the ground hard as Tomas rushed by just over his head. There were extremely pained noises as two of Ranma's teammates flew into the air from being in Tomas's line of fire, going a good three to six meters before they finally hit the ground again.  
Ranma back-kicked a boy who was trying to nail him with a club, and then threw his ball as Tomas slowed to a stop near his basket.  
*Bap!* Tomas shouted in surprise as the ball impacted off his head, then bounced up to fall into the basket, quickly followed by another ball.  
Growling, the American fighter turned around, and saw Ranma making a dash for two of many balls that were now haplessly rolling across the court.  
Once the pigtailed fighter grabbed a ball in each hand, he dribbled them skillfully down back to his team's basket, only to find Tomas waiting for him in a slight crouch. Ranma took up each of the balls, then made a leap over the American for the basket.  
"Crack shot!" Tomas did a somersault from the ground, his foot lashing out as he flipped to peg Ranma in the chest and slam him to the ground. Ranma's two basketballs flew erratically across the court as his hands left them, and one was scooped up by Ranma's own teammate.  
Tomas immediately pursued the other basketball, leaving Ranma to pick himself off the ground.  
"Why that little..." Ranma grumbled to himself as he saw Tomas grab the ball and make for the basket, and swept his hand over the ground. "Yami barai!"  
The flame attack streaked across the ground, and Tomas didn't notice until it was too late. Purple flame blasted him and knocked the ball away, and by the time the American got his bearings back, he was watching Ranma dunk a ball into his hoop.  
"This is no good..." he mused, noting that Ranma's hoop held a few more basketballs, and that Ranma's team had a few more conscious players. "We need some strategy..." he trailed off as he noticed one of the players for his team slowly standing up next to him. "Hey you!" The boy blinked, and pointed to himself. "Yeah! Hey, this is what we're gonna do..."  
  
Ranma rushed to the defensive, and a hapless player who was on the wrong team only had time to shout before he was tripped up by a leg sweep and fell face-first onto the hardwood floor. Ranma ignored the groaning boy's basketball as he spied a different one on an arc toward his basket, and leapt upwards.  
The boy who had thrown the ball was just about to start a victory dance, when Ranma swooped in from the side and tackled the sure basket out of the air.  
Landing on an opponent trying to get up, Ranma quickly scanned the court and then threw his cargo to a boy he recognized. "Hiroshi! Go for it!"  
Hiroshi managed to club a foe over the head who was getting ready to intercept the ball, but his weapon was knocked out of his hand from the force of the basketball as it slammed into his chest.  
Wheezing slightly, he turned around and started dribbling toward the basket, and then stopped in surprise.  
Standing in front of him was a boy decked out in padding and protective gear from just about every sport imaginable, to the point that Hiroshi couldn't even tell if it was someone he knew. On top of that, the mystery player had a large pool net with a seven-foot handle, which he held at the ready.  
Shaking his head slightly, Hiroshi lined up the shot, and threw the ball.  
Predictably, the armored figure swept the air with his net, barely catching the basketball before it completed its arc into the hoop.  
  
From across the court, Ranma's eye twitched. "Who the HELL is that?!"  
Tomas chuckled from his position on the half-court line. "He's our goalie!"  
Ranma watched as a few of his teammates tried to assault the figure, only to be swatted away by the large net, their attacks rendered ineffective against such heavy padding. "There are no goalies in basketball!"  
The goalie reared back his net, which still had the ball within it, and then launched it forward on a vague arc toward the other end of the court.  
Tomas smirked. "That's okay..." then he leapt up into the air, catching the ball before slamming it into the hoop with such force that the entire basket shook.  
Landing, he turned back to Ranma, tipping his cap up slightly, "... this is nothing like basketball!"  
Ranma twitched some more. "All right Bogard. You wanna get serious?"  
Tomas stopped smiling. "Oh, I'm MORE than serious. So are you gonna stop joking around?" He tugged on his fingerless leather gloves, adjusting them.  
Ranma slowly brought up a single fist and closed it tightly, the knuckles popping. "Well, if you insist..." Then he blinked as he felt someone tap him on the shoulder.  
Turning around, he could see that Daisuke was frowning at him while nursing a bruised arm. "Uh, Ranma? While Bogard was distracting you, his team made three points."  
*Thud!* Ranma fell heavily to the ground.  
"Wait, there's another one... it's in. Make that four."  
Flipping to his feet, Ranma was suddenly a blur on the court, slamming into opposing player and knocking their balls toward his team's basket. Before long, there wasn't a single basketball on his side of the court, and the only players up and running were his own teammates.  
However, looking at the other end of the gym, he saw several of his players all shooting at once for the basket, only to have the balls snatched away with a swipe of the massive pool net.  
Growling slightly, he saw Tomas grab a ball lying on the half-court line and make a beeline for him.  
"Oh no you don-" Tomas smirked and jumped up just as he was about to enter Ranma's reach, slamming the pigtailed boy in the jaw with his knee and coincidentally ending the taunt prematurely.  
"Power..." Tomas gained more air, and finally reached the apex of his attack, twisting his body to aim the ball toward the hoop. "Dunk!" The ball was surrounded by a corona of ki energy at it slammed fiercely into the basket hoop, and the mount shook slightly as the backboard exploded from the force, showering the court with cheap plastic.  
"Whoa..." The players that were still conscious stared with wide eyes, most wondering where someone who hadn't even known what martial arts basketball was had learned a move that seemed so utterly suited for it.  
Ranma growled as he wiped plastic shards off his shoulders and out of his hair, while consciously keeping his hands away from his throbbing jaw. "Stop joking around, you say? All right then..." His aura flared, and suddenly his entire form sped toward the heavily padded goalie, faded afterimages trailing behind him.  
Tomas's eyes widened. "You're crazy! You can't use that on him! You could kill him!" Not willing to trust the pigtailed boy to accept his reason, Tomas raced forward with the intent of pummeling Ranma before he could get too far into his special combo.  
The goalie simply stood petrified as Ranma streaked toward him, not even noticing as a few balls flew by toward the hoop.  
Ranma reached his prey, and his form seemed to instantly materialize as he took firm hold of the catcher's chest pad that his foe was wearing. "Yagami Anything-Goes Special Attack!"  
Then, he let go with one hand and flung that fist backward over his shoulder, firmly clocking Tomas in the face.  
"Fake out!"  
Tomas reeled backward, holding his nose and shouting incoherently. After a moment, he got into his usual fighting stance, glaring at Ranma. "That was really cheap."  
Ranma snorted. "No, not really. This is." Then he casually shoved the goalie, who still hadn't unfrozen.  
The boy started cartwheeling as he lost his balance, but to no avail as he fell heavily onto his armored back. After a moment of blinking in surprise, he began to get up again, only to find that with all his padding, he possessed neither the leverage nor the flexibility to move himself very much.  
Tomas sweatdropped as the boy floundered on the hardwood floor, utterly helpless. His large pool net clattered to the ground near him, but just out of arm's reach.  
"Give it up Bogard. It's over."  
Tomas frowned and scanned the court behind him, noting with alarm that there was only a single ball left, being dribbled down the court toward their position by a dark-haired boy.  
"We have a saying in America..." Tomas deliberately turned away from Ranma and faced Daisuke, who stopped in surprise and quickly looked about for someone to toss the ball to (as Ranma was right behind Tomas, he did not seem to be a reasonable option).  
"It's not over until the fat lady sings! Burn knuckle!" Tomas streaked across the court, and easily blasted Daisuke to the side just as the boy was about to make a pass to a teammate.  
Slowing into a skid, the American dove for the wild basketball, hitting the ground in a roll and then flipping to his feet, stopping just four meters away from the basket.  
He began to line up the shot, and then dodged to the side just as Ranma's form streaked by.  
Ranma's kick impacted the floor heavily, digging into the hardwood floor and causing a small explosion of splintered wood. Swiftly yanking his foot out, he turned toward the American fighter and flared his aura, purple flame blackening the floor around him.  
"You want that last basket, Bogard, you've gotta go through me."  
Tomas set his jaw in concentration, small beads of sweat rolling down his face. "Hey, don't you think that this is way too much pain and effort to go through to avoid a punishment that's far less strenuous?"  
"Stop with the thinking and make your move already!" Ranma shouted irritably.  
'Okay, that tac didn't work,' Tomas mulled over in his head, afraid that at any moment Ranma would lose his patience and strike. 'How can I pull this off? He knows exactly where I'm going, and if he should-'  
Suddenly, to Tomas's surprise, Ranma's aura winked out and an expression of profound confusion blossomed on his face.  
"Wait... fat lady? Singing? What the hell does all that mean?"  
Tomas declined to answer the question in favor of jumping forward, and Ranma was caught totally off-guard as Tomas used his face as a springboard to fly towards the basket.  
*Whoosh* The ball entered the hoop, and Tomas spun around as he hit the floor again to face the court.  
  
"Okay!!" Tomas grabbed his hat by the bill and threw it into the air, and the article landed on the back of Gosunkugi's head, metal plate down. "All right guys! We did it!"  
"Yaaaay..." was the groaned/choked out response from his team members, of which only a fourth were remotely conscious.  
Ranma stood there dumbfounded. "But... wait... no, seriously, what did you mean by that thing with the fat lady?"  
Tomas just rolled his eyes, and smirked as the coach approached.  
"Well blondie, you didn't do too bad for your first time."  
Tomas crossed his arms over his chest. "Well, as little as this actually had to do with basketball, I've always been good at the sport."  
The coach nodded absently, his eyes roaming over the two nets. "Uh huh. Sure. Yagami, you got 18. Bogard, you got 16. Yagami's team wins."  
*Wham!!* Tomas hit the ground hard, doing a perfect perfect imitation of a classic Japanese facefault.  
The coach tapped him in the side with his shoe. "Help your teammates to the nurse's office. I want them in good enough shape to run their laps before school's out."  
Tomas just groaned in response.  
The coach nodded in satisfaction, then walked away, writing things on a clipboard.  
Seeing that the teacher had finished, Ranma walked up to the American martial artist and leaned down over him.  
"So seriously, what was up with that whole 'fat lady' deal? I mean, where do you GET something like that? It sounds pretty stupid to me."  
Tomas just groaned louder.  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Kuno awoke, not for the first time, with the sensation of damp cloth clinging to him.  
Also not entirely unfamiliar was the seething irritation of burnt flesh despite the cold wetness. He had learned to ignore the feeling, just as he had learned to put aside all feelings of discomfort that threatened his performance in battle or his indominable arrogance (for that matter, he had learned to completely ignore ANYTHING that he didn't feel like dealing with or acknowledging).  
Quickly getting up, he pushed aside the soggy comforter and quickly ascertained that he was in his personal bed in the nurse's office. He then came to the next obvious conclusion: the fiend Yagami had once more banished him with his dark and demonic magics! However, once again, his godly constitution had protected him from mortal harm and brought him back to consciousness and health within the realm of the nearest healer. In fact, feeling his pockets out, he even had more money than he usually did after these "trips". Surely he was most blessed!  
Kuno got out of bed and stepped over to the tall dresser beside his elaborate cot. Opening it, he looked over the numerous kendo outfits (all of which were the same color and design) before nodding his head decisively and taking one out.  
Unmindful of the possibility of others in the room, he stripped down to his underwear and then slipped into his clothes. As he was tying the sash of his pants, he noticed something on the night table next to the dresser; a note written in a sharp, informal handwriting.  
As he read the note, his face turned more and more red with rage, and as he finished the P.S., steam shot out of his ears as he crushed the note in his hands.  
"Damn you Yagami!! For this travesty, the Gods themselves would strike you down! But surely that would be a mercy, for should you fall under the Blue Thunder's gaze, naught but suffering at justice's great blade awaits you!" He finished his speech with one hand clenched before his eyes, and a dramatic tear slid down Kuno's face as he looked up at the sky... er, ceiling fan.  
"*Groan* Hey, couldja keep it down, please?" A soft voice attracted his attention from across the room, and he strolled over to the source of the voice, his curiousity piqued.  
"I beseech thee, who do I address? So that they might know that they are in the grand and illuminating presence of the Blue Thunder, and be speeded to good health, speak your name."  
From under her blanket, Min groaned once more, and then slowly pushed herself up off the small bed, turning groggy eyes toward the voice that had awoken her. "Hey, are you okay? Why are you talking like that? And who's the 'Blue Thunder'?"  
Kuno stopped and stared, taken by what he saw as Min's blanket slid down her form down to her midrift. As she twisted her upper torso to look at Kuno, the medical gown was folded in just the right way as to press against the smooth contours of her body and outline her feminine curves perfectly. Her breasts, clearly visible with the top tie undone, hung enticingly from her body and jiggled with every movement. Her face, though not at all enhanced from an hour pressed into a cheap pillow, was flawless to Kuno's eyes, especially taken as he was with her perfect body.  
Wiping a bit of drool from the side of his mouth, he quickly took to the side of her bed. "Fair maiden! Tell me, what has happened that one of such delicate beauty as you should be taken to a place such as this? What foul play has sought your person?"  
Min blinked and sweatdropped, realizing that the guy in front of him had taken her hands in his own. Gently tugging them out of his grasp, she answered uncertainly. "Well, I just got in a fight, that's all. Ranma was-"  
As soon as she said "Ranma", the temperature in the room seemed to drop several degrees, and a look of such rage came over Kuno that Min jerked back in surprise.  
"YAGAMI!!!" Kuno yelled to the heavens, tears streaming down his face. "Of all your crimes, of all your evils, this ascends even the Blue Thunder's great mercy!!"  
Min sweatdropped. "But he, I mean, I was-"  
"To strike any of the fairer sex, so much less this fragile flower, warrants nothing less than your utter defeat and complete humiliation!!"  
Min frowned. "Hey, I'm not fragile! And it was a duel! I challenged him!"  
There was a slight whirring grind as Kuno's speech center (which comprised 94% of his total brain mass) shifted emotional gears without the benefit of a clutch.  
"Ah! So I grace the presence of another warrior of the light, and one whose graceful beauty shines most brightly! You too seek to vanquish the dark sorcerer Yagami, no doubt! And you too fell victim to his evil magics!"  
Min grimaced as she felt her head start throbbing. And again, she was fairly certain it had nothing to do with drugs. "Sorcerer? Evil? Vanquish Ranma? Are we even on the same page here?"  
Ignoring her question, Kuno launched himself forward and enveloped her in a hug, causing the ninja girl to shout out in surprise. "Fear not! For we are as one mind! The great Blue Thunder, Tatewaki Kuno, age 17, and undefeated champion of the kendo world shall be your guide and ally on your noble quest! As your heart beats, so shall mine in glorious tandem!!"  
Min was now completely convinced that this fellow was sent to the nurse for severe cranial trauma. And considering the way he was grabbing her, Min would have been more than willing to aggravate his condition. Except that he was wrapped around her so tightly that she couldn't move her arms, and her position didn't allow her to kick the kendoist easily.  
"Hey! Get the hell off of me you jerk!! Help! This guy is crazy! Let go of me!!"  
Kuno sniffed dramatically as he held his newfound love against him, completely oblivious to her struggles. "Fear not fair warrior, for so long as you are within my embrace, I will let no harm come to-" suddenly he felt something tug on the shoulder of his shirt, and frowned deeply before turning around...  
Just in time to glance at the knuckles of Tomas's fist.  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Ranma hummed to himself as he walked along the fence lining the canal, twirling a liberated katana in his hand as he strolled home.  
Nearby pedestrians gave the sight of a teenager tossing and spinning a gleaming steel blade the occasional nervous look, but did little else. People of the Nerima district learned that most strange and dangerous things wandering the streets tended to simply pass by if they ignored it, or simply walked in the other direction. Occasionally it would leave a trail of utter devastation in its wake, but that was of little concern to the hardy Nerimans.  
  
Ranma tossed the sword up into the air and then clapped his hands together on the blade as it came down. After grinning momentarily at his precision, he flipped the sword up from between his palms and then caught the handle easily in one hand.  
"My, that's very good Ranma."  
Ranma blinked, and then looked down from his vantage point to see Kasumi smiling up at him.  
"Oh, hey Kasumi. What's up?" he squatted down on the fence, resting the blade on his shoulder.  
"I'm just going out for some groceries. That's a very nice sword Ranma. Is it yours?"  
Ranma snorted. "It is now. I figure that it's about time Kuno started paying for all the beatings he asks for."  
Kasumi cocked her head to one side. "Oh. Well, at least Akane's having less trouble with him now." She started walking down the sidewalk again, and Ranma followed atop the fence.  
"Yeah, well I'd hope so. The jerk's challenging me at least twice every day. If he had time to get beaten by Akane too, I might actually be impressed." Suddenly, Ranma frowned, and scratched his head with his free hand. "Come to think of it, it's kind of strange that I didn't see Kuno after school. He usually doesn't attack me before gym, but given his normal recovery rate, I would've thought that he'd be up and about by the time school let out."  
Kasumi didn't really have anything to say to that, so she merely nodded as they continued walking.  
Ranma looked toward the katana on his shoulder. "Hey, how much do you think this thing is worth, anyway?"  
The elder Tendo sister blinked, then put a finger to her lip. "I really couldn't guess. Father was always the one who was interested in those sorts of things. Though Nabiki would probably be able to price it for you."  
Ranma's face darkened slightly. "Oh. Never mind then. I'll probably just give it to my mom then. She's into kendo."  
Kasumi beamed. "That's so sweet of you Ranma!" Her smile lessened somewhat as something occurred to her, and she stepped over to move closer to the fence. "Ranma... I... I know it isn't really any of my business, but... did something happen between you and Nabiki?"  
Ranma flinched slightly at the question, and bit back his instinctual reply that would confirm that it was indeed none of her business. This was Kasumi, after all. "Well... yeah, you can say that."  
Kasumi lowered her head. "I see. I'm disappointed to hear that. Nabiki is always so distant. Emotionally, I mean. I was really hoping she'd find someone to trust and open up to."  
Unfortunately, Ranma was unable to bite his tongue in time. "If she's looking for trust in a relationship, maybe she'd prefer someone who's deaf and blind." He scowled, then added, "Better throw stupid in there too, for good measure."  
It wasn't until he saw looked down at Kasumi's face again and saw the pained surprise there that he seriously considered using his confiscated katana to lop off his tongue.  
"Oh my! I... I had no idea!" Kasumi raised a hand to her mouth, then looked around a bit before turning back to Ranma. "I really hate to pry, but... what happened?"  
Ranma winced. "No way I-" Forcibly restraining himself from that line of speech, he covered his face with his free hand before sighing heavily and removing it, facing Kasumi once again. "Look, nothing personal, but I can't tell ya that. That's what started the whole mess in the first place. The less people know about this, the better. Needless to say, me and Nabiki aren't going out anymore, and we sure 'aint getting married."  
Kasumi nodded in understanding, much to Ranma's relief. "All right Ranma, I won't try to find out what happened. But..." she bit her lower lip slightly, and turned away from Ranma, staring down at the sidewalk. "But whatever you do, please don't judge Nabiki too harshly."  
Ranma raised an eyebrow at this, but Kasumi didn't look up at him.  
"Nabiki's always been so... cold and distant. She taught herself so early in life to manipulate people. It was a survival skill, as father hasn't made much money at all ever since mother died. Really, on some level, I think she forgot how to deal with anybody without trying to leverage herself above them or make a profit. Even her own family..." She sighed deeply, and finally turned back toward Ranma. "I've tried so hard to talk to her about it, but I'm hardly her ideal role model. To be honest, I was hoping you could teach her to open up to people and be more sensitive."  
Ranma stared at her a long while, his face expressionless. Then he turned his head away. "The blind can't lead the blind. But however bad she's had it, I just can't forgive what she did. Maybe you'd understand if you knew what it was, and maybe you wouldn't, but that's the way it goes."  
Kasumi let out another sigh, and ran a hand through her hair. "It's okay. All I can do is say I'm sorry for what she's put you through." Not getting a response from that, Kasumi decided to change the subject. "By the way, I saw your sister a little earlier."  
Ranma blinked, and turned back toward the eldest Tendo daughter. "No kidding? She out of school already?"  
Kasumi's smile returned as she nodded. "Yes. And she was carrying the cutest little piglet too!"  
"Huh. A pig? Really? Where'd she find-" a thought suddenly occurred to him, and his eyes widened. 'Waitaminute. Could that be......? Nah. Get real. Ryoga can't be the only pig in the area. It's gotta be a coincidence.'  
"Yes! And it had this adorable golden bandanna for a collar with little black spots!"  
"!#%&!!" Ranma left a badly startled Kasumi by the side of the road as he took off like a rocket toward his house, bounding over fences and rooftops alike.  
"DAMN YOU RYOGA!!!" The irony of hearing such a reversal of the usual battle cries shouted around Nerima was sufficient to have many onlookers chuckling as they hastily redirected themselves away from what was sure to be an ugly conflict.  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"Mom, I'm home!" Yurumi hugged the piglet against her shoulder as she closed the door behind her, and then moved to cradle it in her arms as she wandered into the living room.  
"Hello dear. How was-" Nodoka blinked and halted mid-sentence as she saw what Yurumi had in her arms. "Oh my! How cute!" Smiling, she walked up and patted the little creature on the head, to which it squealed softly. "Where did you find him?"  
Yurumi giggled. "At school! Isn't he adorable? And, well, I was thinking, since Ranma has a cat now, that maybe I could... you know, keep him?" She blushed slightly and looked as she said it, scratching the piglet's belly.  
Ryoga twitched. It was nice being cuddled and fed, but he certainly didn't plan on staying here. And why was the feeling of complete and utter doom still getting stronger?  
Nodoka raised an eyebrow and fingered her chin. "Well... I'll think about it. With that bandanna on, he might already belong to someone else. But in any case, he's rather dirty. Why don't you take him in the backyard and wash him off?"  
Ryoga snorted and gave annoyed glances at his captors. Being washed wasn't much fun. Then again, he could hardly complain; this whole situation was a whole lot better than being chased for food.  
Yurumi beamed up at her mother. "Okay! I'll wash him real good!" She walked briskly toward the stairs and shrugged off her backpack, leaving the article beside the stairwell before climbing up towards her room.  
As she reached the top, she saw Iori closing the door to the bathroom and smiled at him. "Hi Daddy!"  
Iori turned towards her. "Hey. How was school?"  
She giggled. "It was great! I found a pig! Isn't it cute?"  
Iori looked down at the creature, as if noticing it for the first time. The pig looked up at him, and blinked.  
"Nice. Make sure he stays out of our room, okay?" Iori walked down the hall and to the stairs, patting his daughter on the head as he did.  
Yurumi hummed to herself and entered the room that her father had just exited.  
  
Ryoga was confused. He was POSITIVE that he had seen that redheaded guy before, and that only led to greater suspicion that he had seen this girl before, too. Could the man be the reason that his danger sense was in overdrive?  
He managed to squirm up Yurumi's shoulder and take one final look before she left the hallway, hoping that another glance might pinpoint the man's identity.  
He had a crescent moon on the back of his jacket.  
Ryoga blinked. Kind of like the kind that Ranma wore. Almost exactly like it, actually.  
Ranma. Ranma's father, Iori Yagami, whom he had met a few times when the whole rivalry started, and who definitely left a lasting impression. And this was Ranma's sister, whom he had met that morning and had pretty much forgotten about since then. Which was a testament to his single-mindedness, as she had single-handedly taken out Ranma purely by accidental reflex.  
Ryoga's eyes grew larger and larger and his body started quivering as the reality of his situation started falling together around him. He had to get out NOW!!!  
Then, as his consciousness returned to the present, he realized that he was in some sort of laundry room, and that he was on the floor.  
"Hmmmm... well, as long as I'm taking a bath anyway, you can take one with me!" Yurumi smiled down at her new pet as she removed her shirt.  
And thus her vision was obscured as an expression of indescribable terror etched its way onto the little pig's features, of the sort usually not associated with dumb animals of any species.  
Deciding that the time for speculation had long since ended, Ryoga made a mad dash for the exit, and succeeded only in bruising his head as he smashed into the door. Not to be deterred, he frantically scratched and beat at the door, hoping that maybe the girl would just get the message and spare him.  
Yurumi finished undressing, and then noticed her new pet trying to beat down the door to the bathroom as if his life depended on it. Smiling, she grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her waist, then moved to push the door open.  
"Wow, I guess you're really eager for a bath, aren't you?"  
Ryoga dashed through the doorway before the meaning behind her words had a chance to register, and then froze in horror as he beheld a well-prepared furo, trails of steam rising from its soothing waters.  
He didn't unfreeze until Yurumi lifted him up again, obviously intending to just walk into the bath with him.  
Yurumi blinked and wobbled slightly as the bundle in her arms began to thrash about wildly, obviously trying to escape her grasp.  
"Hey! Whoa! What's wrong? Stop squirming, I can't-" she stopped as her foot hit a wet tile, and she lost the rest of her balance as the animal she was holding managed to deflect mightily off her chest, breaking free of her arms... and jumping straight into the water.  
*Thud* *Splash* Yurumi's back hit the tile floor as Ryoga's jump landed him, figuratively and literally, into hot water.  
"Ow..." Yurumi groaned and sat up, her towel lying about her waist and legs. "What was all that for?" She wondered aloud, frowning at all the splashing that was coming from underneath the furo's waters.  
*Sploosh!* Ryoga gasped mightily as he broke the surface of the water, and quickly shook his head to clear his vision.  
Yurumi's eyes were the size of dinner plates as she watched the naked boy whom she had seen that morning appear out of her bathtub, breathing heavily and looking around in a panic.  
Ryoga's mind went into high gear, and immediately broke down. He wasn't used to quick thinking, damn it! This was all Ranma's fault!  
Outwardly, he decided it would be best to just go on autopilot and do what came naturally. "Excuse me, is this Japan?"  
It didn't work.  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Nodoka was just setting up tea for Iori when Ranma burst through the door, looking as if he had sprinted all the way home from his school.  
"Ranma, is something-"  
Ranma didn't let her finish. "Yurumi! Where's Yurumi?! Quick!"  
Noboka blinked, fairly concerned with the urgency in his voice. "She's here, but I'm not sure exactly where... Ranma, where did you get that sword?"  
Iori turned toward his son with a raised eyebrow. "She's taking a bath, I think. Something wrong?"  
Ranma grimaced. "Was she carrying a black pig with her? One with a golden bandanna on its neck with little black spots?"  
Nodoka blinked once more. "Why, yes. How did you know?"  
Ranma sighed heavily. "Phooey."  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"  
Everyone turned toward the stairs as a scream emenated from upstairs.  
*KAAAAABLAAAAAM!!!!* And everyone winced as a huge gout of flame burst from the stairwell, passing through the living room in a blazing stream and detonating on the door, blasting it outward into a mess of fiery splinters.  
The purple flame quickly dissipated, with very little left burning upon the various objects between the stairs and the front door.  
Iori, Nodoka, and Ranma all looked at each other.  
The Yagami patriarch sighed. "I'll go get an extinguisher. Ranma?" He jabbed a thumb toward the stairs, and Ranma leapt into action, rushing upstairs with his mother close on his heels.  
  
"Yurumi, are you-JEEZ!!!" Ranma grimaced as he saw the devastation that had been done.  
The "door" to the bathroom was now little more than a blackened hole in the wall. The bathroom itself was practically gone, along with the entire upper corner of the house that it was situated in. The two surviving walls were blackened and crumbling, and the tile floor was a network of charred cracks and gouges, with burst and melting water pipes sticking out here and there. Rubble was strewn across the yard, and without any walls in the way, Ranma and Nodoka could see an old tree in a neighbor's yard awash in purple flames.  
In the middle of it all, Yurumi knelt on the floor sobbing, a dry, white towel wrapped tightly around her.  
"Yurumi! Are you okay?" Ranma rushed up to the small, relatively undamaged circle of tile floor holding up the girl, and she immediately got up and ran into his arms.  
"Yurumi, what happened here?" Nodoka asked, cautiously picking her way across the damaged floor.  
"*Sob* I... it's just *Sniff* I was just trying to wash *Sniffle* the pig, but he jumped out into the water *Sniffle* and then that guy came out! *Sob*"  
Nodoka looked confused. "'That guy'? Who is this?"  
"Ryoga," Ranma growled out, rubbing Yurumi's head soothingly.  
"*Sniff* Yeah, it was that guy! He *Sniffle* attacked me this morning, and then he just *Sob* appeared here!"  
Ranma sighed. "Mom, can you take care of Yurumi for a while?"  
The little girl sniffed again, and tried to dry her eyes as she looked up at her brother. "Where are you going?"  
He gently pushed her away from him and into Nodoka's own embrace, and then retrieved his confiscated katana that he had left by the newly expanded entrance to the bathroom.  
"I'm going to deep-fry some pork."  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"Oooooh... it hurts so much... augh...... I... I think I'm melting......"  
Despite whatever claim he could make to be melting, Ryoga showed admirable constitution and endurance for one who was just blown 400 meters into the air from a blast stronger than military-grade napalm bombs.  
As it was, he was currently making his way into an alley, dragging himself along the ground with his hands. He was still quite naked, and was currently preserving his modesty (as if that were of any great concern at this point) with a large piece of sheet metal.  
"Must... find... water... it burns..." Ryoga groaned as he made it into the alleyway, and began looking about in a daze for anything that could help his current situation.  
"What'cha lookin' for, P-chan?"  
Ryoga blinked sluggishly, then slowly turned his head.  
Ranma stared back at him coolly, the katana resting on his shoulder.  
Then the pigtailed boy sighed and turned away. "You know, I was willing to look the other way when you were peeping on Akane. You know why? Well, besides the fact that it was funny and I didn't care. I really thought we used to be friends, you know? And even if we weren't, this whole 'track Ranma down to the ends of the Earth and challenge him until you win' thing was kind of fun. Of course, then you crossed the line."  
Ranma turned toward the charred husk that was the lost boy, and his eyes narrowed. "You hurt my family, pig boy. You nearly killed my sister this morning, and when I get home today, I find you peeping on her. PEEPING!!! ON A 9-YEAR OLD!!! MY SISTER!!!"  
Ryoga goggled for a moment, then started waving his arms in denial from his sitting position. "No! Wait! It wasn't like that at all! I didn't mean to change back in front of her! Er... wait, let me rephrase that!"  
Ranma's eyes smoldered, and Ryoga suddenly found himself unable to speak any further as the purple aura around Ranma built.  
"You've been nothing but a pain since you got here, but this is unforgivable," he snarled. "It's payback time."  
"No! Hear me out! Seriously! It was all an accident! Whoa, hold on! Stop! What's with the sword?! No, wait, don't-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Shampoo mewed irritably as she shook the water out of her fur before shooting a nasty look at the fellow who was gaping at the clothes lying on the ground.  
Abandoning the playful jerk and his garden hose, Shampoo took to the fence tops, speeding along the narrow perches with agility that was hardly attributed to her cat form.  
She stopped, however, when she heard the sound of someone being beaten rather savagely in a nearby alleyway.  
"OW!!! Please, stop!! AUGH!!! No! No more!! Argh!! Not the sword again! Not there!! Have mercy!! Uncle!! Uncle!! GYAAAH!!!"  
Sweatdropping, Shampoo noticed that the streets were hardly empty, and that those people that visibly noticed the violence just as visibly turned away and ignored it. These Japanese were hardy folk, if not a bit negligent.  
Sitting down, Shampoo waited until the pleading voice died down to incoherent shouts and whimpers, and then, to her surprise, she saw Ranma exit the alley, breathing heavily (though it seemed more from emotional exertion than physical). To her further surprise, she also saw that he was carrying a katana. One that had blood slipping off of it.  
"Meow! Meow!" She waved her paw in the air, and Ranma blinked as he noticed her. "Huh? Maya! what are you doing out here?"  
Shampoo padded up to her friend, then paused cautiously just as she reached him to peer into the alley.  
If she hadn't already been nearly white, she would've paled. She just barely remembered the red-stained bandanna lying next to the massacred body in the alley, and once she remembered fully who it belonged too, she decided it didn't matter anyway.  
As an Amazon warrior, she had been trained to deal with gore, violence, and death psychologically, but she was still put off by the sheer brutality of what she saw. She glanced hesitantly at Ranma, wondering if he was going to suddenly break out into his berserk state.  
Ranma noticed the cat's gaze, and somehow felt obligated to explain. "He 'aint dead or nothing. He might even make a full recovery. Who knows?" Ranma snorted, then addressed the bloody mess formerly known as Ryoga. "Hibiki, if I EVER see you bothering my sister again, I'm gonna give you burns deeper than those cuts. Do I make myself clear?"  
"......... Hurts...... so... much...... bleeding....... help......"  
Ranma snorted and turned away, shaking the katana to the side to get some of the blood off. "C'mon Maya."  
Shampoo stared at Ranma as he left, and then looked at Ryoga, who was twitching.  
Then she rolled her eyes, and padded happily after her friend. It was about time he had given that moron what for.  
  
**********************************************************************************  
  
End Chapter 7 


	8. And Into the Fire

Across the field, an empty, wailing wind blew, smoothing the grass and rolling the dust around rock and tree alike.  
It was a wind that spoke of sorrow. Pain. Misery. The suffering that comes of years of isolation and stagnation. It was a wind with many idle thoughts and long histories blown along with the dirt and loose soil.  
Today, that wind had an audience.  
  
King passed a hand through her hair, tucking her short blond locks behind her ear in a gesture of ease.  
Across the field, Yuri tugged on her combat gloves as she tried to stare the other woman down. King knew it to be a nervous habit, and smirked at the shorter woman.  
King shook her head slightly. Despite almost being in her thirties, Yuri still looked remarkably young for her age. Not only because she was short, but her face and mannerisms seemed to perpetually radiate youth.  
Yuri stopped tugging on her gloves, berating herself internally. King hadn't fared the years quite as well as she had, but still possessed a lithe beauty. Though, as always, it was framed by the "rich boy's" uniform that the woman insisted on wearing. Not that Yuri really cared what King wore, but it really didn't look good on the taller woman at all.  
"There's a dark wind out today," King spoke at last, jerking Yuri from her thoughts. "That bodes ill. I wonder what tonight will bring."  
Yuri rolled her eyes. "It will bring you a good beat-down, if I have anything to say about it! Did you come to practice, or discuss the weather?"  
King ignored Yuri for a moment, letting her eyes roam the field. Not much to it, but she could definitely feel something in the air. Something... well, odd was the best word she could come up with. Not that it provided any significant description. Her eyes briefly scanned the area, noting the surroundings. A stagnant pond, and a the side of a mountain with a boulder resting on it.  
Her eyes flashed back to the boulder.  
"Hey! Come on! If you won't start this thing, I will!"  
King snapped to attention, and slowly nodded.  
And then, they charged.  
  
No words were exchanged; taunts were but a waste of breath between these two, and each knew the other's techniques so well so that shouting the names of their attacks was likewise a useless exercise.  
Yuri rushed in with a lightning-quick haymaker, and King hit the ground and slid feet first.  
Yuri was hit on the ground, but tucked herself into a roll as she hitting the ground.  
King flipped up and kicked twice in the air, sending double bolts of energy screaming through the air, only to miss as Yuri stayed down to avoid the projectiles.  
Yuri blanched as a spray of pebbles and dust hit her back from the explosion, and then dashed back just as King came down in front of her, feet ready to pound. Yuri hit her opponent with a firm roundhouse, then followed it up with a short-ranged but powerful energy wave, slamming King away and onto the ground.  
Pausing to brush a piece of white paper attached to a rope off her shoulder, Yuri pressed her advantage, rushing in to pummel her foe. She was caught off-guard as King flip-kicked from her prone position, and was stunned for a moment right before the crossdresser laid into her with a multitude of lighting-fast kicks that pounded her body like a jackhammer.  
Grunting as she fell down again, Yuri rolled onto her stomach and pressed one foot flat onto the ground.  
King approached warily, and thus was able to roll out of the way as Yuri launched herself into a high-rising uppercut which left the shorter girl vulnerable.  
King smirked as Yuri reached her apex, and raised one foot in preparation to dish out two extra-powerful ki bolts.  
"SWEETO!!!"  
"Eh?" The voice lurched King and Yuri from their senses, and the former nearly fell over with her leg still in the air as the latter forgot to land from her uppercut properly and fell flat on her face.  
"*Sniff* Oh! How wonderful! To have been freed from my prison by two such lovely young ladies! ...... Well, actually, I prefer them a lot younger, and a little lovelier if possible, but beggars can't be choosers, can they?"  
Yuri could only stare at the strange little old man as she picked herself up off the ground. "What the..."  
"To express my gratitude, and reward you for your efforts, here's a hug from Happousai! Come to Papa!"  
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!"  
And there was much beating, and chaos, and violence, and gnashing of teeth, and rending of bones, and general discontent among the populace.  
And so, our two heroines lived unhappily ever after, as they never did fully recover from the experience of being so callously groped, or the humiliation of having to walk home with their underwearing having been somehow removed without the removal of other clothing.  
The end.  
  
Yagami 1/2  
A Ranma 0.5/King of Fighters Crossover  
by Black Dragon  
revcoll@peoplepc.com  
  
  
Just been playing SimCity 4 on the PC... damn it all! The thing keeps freezing after an hour or so of work! And there's no autosave! Bleagh! Curses! And I've been replaying Metroid Prime too! Omega Pirate is so %*^&$@# invincible on hard mode! Grrrrr...  
  
Chapter 8  
... And Into the Fire  
**********************************************************************************  
  
Ranma stretched as he pushed the veil of sleep fully from his mind, and sleepily scratched his arm as he shifted to the edge of his bed.  
All things considered, it was really nice to have his own room again. He still wasn't quite used to it, and every day still expected to see his father lying next to him when he woke up. Having a room of his own still seemed like a great luxury even now.  
Putting on his pants, he spared a glance toward his desktop and the book that lay there.  
Slipping his shirt on, Ranma frowned and ran a hand across the hardened cover, thinking.  
"I'm gonna have to start on these soon. Some of this stuff looks pretty neat." He had already thumbed through the book several times, and though most of it sounded somewhat fantastical and dangerous, he was more than willing to give it a shot. Though the manual was obviously incomplete, as the book listed some techniques, such as this "hiryu shoten ha" with nothing but a vague description of the effects. Ranma didn't mind though, as Shampoo had clearly gone to some trouble to give it to him, and he couldn't expect her to just hand over all her tribe's secrets.  
Ranma shook his head a bit. While he was glad Shampoo had came to see him, what exactly was she doing here? Did Amazons usually just up and leave on vacation whenever they want? And where was she staying, anyway? Not that Ranma had any illusions that Shampoo couldn't take care of herself, but he didn't want his friend to be sleeping in a cold tent outside while he was snuggled up in blankets.  
'Speaking of snuggling...' Ranma thought, and then scanned the room. This failed to give him Maya's whereabouts, however, and he frowned.  
"She was sleeping right on the covers last night. Where does she go all day?" Ranma scratched his head, and then looked for any disturbed areas in his room that might have indicated how the feline had gotten out. Just as quickly, he gave up and picked up his jacket. Maya came and go as she pleased, and didn't bother him about it. If the cat could take care of herself, who was he to complain?  
As he pulled his jacket on, his thoughts flitted back to Shampoo. He was very thankful for the girl's friendship, as hard as it was to earn. He had attacked her home, mauled several of her fellow warriors, and everyone at the village had seemed perfectly willing to take it out of his hide. And who could blame them?  
He could still remember waking up for the first time in the healer's hut, his entire body aching. He could remember with every detail the the scowl on Shampoo's pretty face as he had looked up at her, and later the slight frown of doubt and confusion as he had gaped at the torn ashes of the Amazon huts.  
  
Ranma passed by the boarded-up hole that lead to the remnants of the bathroom, lost in thought. He didn't even notice as his sister fell into step behind him.  
  
It had taken more than his grief and sorrow to earn Shampoo's friendship, but Ranma was pleased that the girl had forgiven him at all, considering the circumstances. It was strange, really. Even while she was still angry at him, Shampoo had still stayed by Ranma's side the whole time he was in the village, supervising and later even helping him as he rebuilt what he had destroyed.  
He smiled slightly. 'And she sure didn't mind about the curse, either.' It was about then that he realized he was being followed, and turned around to ask what his sister wanted.  
*Splash* The cup of cold water emptied itself over him, and the question died on his lips as he glared down at the little redhead.  
Yurumi giggled and smiled up at him. "Ranma, can you take me shopping today? I want to buy some new clothes!"  
Ranma's face became slightly more neutral. "...... First, explain to me why you just turned me into a girl."  
Yurumi shrugged slightly. "Well, I noticed that all you have are boy's clothes. I thought you could get a dress while we're out."  
Ranma's eyes narrowed. *Thwap* *Thwip* *Thwap*  
"Gyaaaah!" Yurumi shouted in surprise as she suddenly found herself held upside-down with arms clamped firmly around her waist and chest.  
"Guys don't wear dresses!" Ranma growled.  
"You're not a guy! Let me down!"  
"I am too!"  
"What're these then?" She asked mischieviously, wriggling her arm free to poke Ranma's breast.  
"Knock it off! It's a curse! You know that! You want me to drop you?!"  
"Waaugh! No! Don't! I'm sorry!"  
"You going shopping? Is okay Shampoo come too?"  
Ranma and Yurumi immediately stopped struggling, and slowly turned their heads to she Shampoo smiling brightly at them.  
"Eh? Shampoo? What are you doing here?" Ranma looked back and forth down the hall, as if some clue was lying about that would explain the Amazon's presence.  
Shampoo sweatdropped and then addressed Yurumi. "Shampoo go too! Is okay?"  
The little girl blinked. "Uh, sure. But why?"  
Shampoo blushed slightly and ran a hand through her hair. "Shampoo not bring many dress for stay here." 'And I keep losing the ones I brought when I change forms.' "Need more clothes."  
Yurumi smiled brightly at her, which seemed rather misplaced, considering the girl was still being held upside-down. "Okay then! Ranma needs some dresses too!"  
Ranma glared down at her prisoner, then snorted and threw her arms apart. *Thud!*  
"Ow! That was so mean!"  
"You had it coming!"  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Nodoka largely ignored the noise coming from upstairs, and shook her head in exasperation as she poured tea for her husband. "Dear, what are we going to do about the bathroom?"  
Iori shrugged as he looked through the Saturday paper. "I'll find somebody to scrape up what's left and then build a new one. Though I should get the outer wall fixed first."  
Nodoka nodded and sat down, sipping her tea lightly. "Should we do anything about this... 'Ryoga' person?"  
Iori shook his head decisively, then turned the page of his paper.  
"But... are you sure? He-"  
"I know what he did," Iori interrupted. "He paid for it. Have you ever seen Ranma when he really gets mad?"  
Nodoka blinked, and put a hand to her mouth. "Uhh..."  
"I didn't think so." Iori said simply.  
A moment afterward, Ranma hopped down the stairs and took her place at the table next to Iori. "Hey Pop. Hi Mom." She took the cup on the table and held it out to Nodoka, who nodded and poured some tea.  
"Good morning Ranma. Oh! Hello Shampoo!" The Amazon girl returned the greeting and sat down on the other side of Iori before pouring herself some soup.  
Ranma thanked her mother for the tea, and promptly threw it in her face, wiping the hot liquid off with a napkin once the change had occurred.  
"So, Shampoo, I was just wondering if you plan on staying here often?" Nodoka smiled warmly at the beautiful young woman, who returned the smile a bit nervously.  
"Shampoo stay sometimes..."  
Nodoka nodded. "Would you like me to prepare a room for you, or do you plan on spending the night in Ranma's room all the time?"  
*Hack!* *Cough!* Iori suddenly started coughing as some tea went down the wrong pipe.  
Ranma and Yurumi blinked in tandem, and then each began to gape.  
Shampoo's eyes widened, and she started waving her hands in panic. "Shampoo not sleep Ranma's room! What you talking?"  
It was the first of what would become the normal morning ritual for the Yagami household.  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Andy Bogard sighed and resisted the urge to massage his forehead as he read his own paper. Today was certainly NOT a normal morning in his household, and the difference had little to do with Terry's son sitting down with his family.  
Toji and Kikyo were chatting excitedly on their side of the table, and were blissfully oblivious of the lack of such conversation on the other side. Sitting on that side, Tomas dug into his breakfast, too concerned with eating to talk, and likewise ignorant of the oddity.  
Mai, sitting on the other side of the table with a slight smile on her face, was the only other one that noticed Min's silence as she slowly ate, obviously distracted. Usually she was as talkative as any teenage girl, and the previous morning had barely finished her breakfast with all she had to say about starting a new school alongside her cousin.  
While uncommon, such an occurrence was hardly unknown, and Mai coughed lightly into her fist before asking the million-yen question.  
"So, who is he?"  
The two small children stopped talking at the question, and looked curiously at Min, whom the question was obviously directed toward. Tomas couldn't be bothered by such things, and continued eating.  
Min blinked repeatedly, and then slowly dragged herself back into reality. "Huh? Who is he? He who?"  
Mai's smile grew a bit. "That's what I'd like to know. Come now, the only time you're this quiet is when you have a boy on your mind."  
Min blushed slightly and put a hand on the back of her head. "Ha! Am I that transparent?"  
"I also saw that burn mark on your mid-rift last night," Andy interjected, not looking up from his paper. Why his wife and daughter insisted on wearing those ridiculously revealing ninja outfits were beyond him, but it allowed him to see the burn clearly as Min practiced. "What exactly happened yesterday at school?"  
Min sighed and scratched her shoulder a bit, a faraway expression in her eyes. "A guy beat me in a fight yesterday."  
*RRRIP* The newspaper Andy was holding was suddenly torn in half within his grip, and Mai stared at her daughter.  
"Really? Well, that's..." Mai trailed off, wondering exactly what that meant, and whether it was a bad thing or a good thing. She was pretty sure it was a bad thing, but then again, Min was smiling fondly as she began to space out again.  
"Wow, he beat you? He must be super-strong!" Toji made a muscle gesture and started punching in the air.  
Andy looked a bit uneasy, even though it was clear that Min wasn't exactly taking the loss very hard. "This guy defeated you? How badly did you lose?"  
Min sighed dreamily. "I made a good accounting of myself, but I was no match for Ranma! He was so strong! So fast! He was like a juggernaut, charging through everything I could throw at him with unrelenting, brutal tenacity! What a man!" she blushed and smiled up at the ceiling, clasping her hands together over her breasts.  
Huge sweatdrops rolled down the heads of everyone present except for Min.  
Tomas finally finished eating, and sighed contentedly. "Actually, that's a pretty good description of the way he fights. He beat me a while back, too."  
"Ranma, huh?" Andy frowned slightly as he raised a cup of tea to his lips. He'd have to keep an eye on this 'Ranma'. "What's his family name?"  
"Yagami," Min and Tomas answered simultaneously.  
"Yagami, eh? Ranma Yagaaaaaa..." his voice cracked and he trailed off as the name clicked.  
Mai stared at Min. "Yagami? As in... Iori Yagami?"  
Min just looked confused, but Tomas nodded sharply. "Yup! I saw the guy myself. Ranma's his son."  
*Kshak!* The tea cup shattered in Andy's hand, and the blond man's left eye started twitching.  
Min was fairly unconcerned with what her parents thought of Ranma's relatives, whoever they may be, and grabbed Tomas's hand as she stood up. "Well, we gotta go! Bye!"  
Tomas, for his part, hadn't been planning on going anywhere, and stumbled a bit as Min yanked him to his feet. "Go? Where? It's Saturday! There's no school on the weekends, right?"  
"Stop arguing and come on! Thanks for breakfast Mom! See you guys!" Smiling brightly, Min swiftly left the household, dragging her cousin along behind her despite his protests.  
  
Mai watched her oldest daughter run out of the room, and then turned to look worriedly at her husband, who hadn't moved since Ranma's lineage was confirmed, his eye still twitching.  
"Well, Kim did say that Iori had given up on fighting and settled down... hard to believe, but I guess it's true, huh?" Andy's eye didn't stop twitching, and Mai cocked her head to one side slightly. "Dear? Would you like some more tea?"  
Finally, Andy sighed deeply, and then stood up. "No thank you, I think I'll just lie down in the living room and have a stroke." With an absolutely straight face, he got up and walked into the aforementioned room.  
Mai sweatdropped.  
"Mommy?" Toji asked, attracting the woman immediately, "What's wrong with Daddy?"  
"Well..." Mai started, and chewed her lip a bit before continuing, "your older sister has fallen hopelessly in love with the son of a vengeful psycho with the power of a dark God running through his veins, and right now your father's mind is ricocheting between trying to rationalize his interference, and respecting his daughter's privacy and judgement implicitly."  
Suddenly, Andy's voice burst out from the adjacent room. "She is NOT 'hopelessly in love'!! She can't be! Not yet! It's too soon!!"  
Kikyo blinked, not having understood much of Mai's explanation at all. "Is Daddy going to be okay?"  
Mai tapped her chin with her forefinger before answering. "That depends on how aggressively this 'Ranma' fellow returns Min's affections."  
Mai's sweatdrop grew as an incoherent shout of anguish rang out from the living room.  
"So... no, he won't."  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Ranma walked along tiredly as Yurumi rushed around ahead of him and Shampoo, chatting endlessly about the different clothing shops they should browse and what kind of clothes she wanted.  
Shampoo wasn't excited about the whole thing as she was fascinated by the large mall and the crowds of people walking everywhere. As she should be, he guessed, considering she'd spent most of her life, if not all of it, shopping at small village markets. Hell, coming to Japan, he supposed that buildings made of steel and glass were fairly new to her.  
"Ooh! Look at that one! Isn't it beautiful?" Yurumi pointed excitedly at a display window, and the two teenagers quickened their pace to see what had caught her attention.  
It turned out to be a full-length leopard-spotted evening dress, with a single shoulder strap on one side and a long, flowing slit for showing the leg underneath it on the same side.  
Ranma sweatdropped heavily. "Aren't you kinda young for that sort of thing?"  
Shampoo giggled. "Shampoo not sure they make in you size."  
Yurumi blushed badly. "I know that! I just thought it looked nice." Then she blinked, and smiled widely. "Hey, I'll bet it would look great on Shampoo!"  
Ranma looked back towards the gown and considered it. Though not for very long. After all, Shampoo's body beat the petite, buxom mannequin's quite easily. "Yeah, I guess so."  
Considering the matter done with, he turned away from the shop to find a store with more practical clothing...  
... And thus found himself watching Yurumi stand in the entrance as he was unceremoniously dragged backwards into the boutique.  
Before he knew what was happening, he was surrounded by racks of dresses and gowns while Shampoo cheerfully asked the woman at the counter for some selections to try on.  
Yurumi walked into the store with an air of wonder, looking at all the beautiful dresses longingly.  
"*Sigh* I wonder how much longer it will be until I can wear something like this..." Then she noticed that Ranma's eye was twitching. "Ranma? What's wrong?"  
Ranma flinched, then straightened noticeably. "N-Nothing! Really!" Despite his unnecessarily loud protest, he still looked around at the dresses surrounding him uneasily. This reminded him way too much of a bad dream he had just a week after receiving his curse.  
The lady at the front handed Shampoo the last dress, and the Amazon again took firm hold of Ranma's hand. "You tell Shampoo how dress look, okay?"  
Ranma sighed as he followed the girl into the changing room somberly.  
Yurumi and the cashiers' eyes widened as the door closed, and a *click* was heard right afterward.  
............ *Bam!* Ranma burst out of the room in surprise, then hastily grabbed the door and slammed it shut, breathing a sigh of relief afterward.  
*Whack!* And then he grunted as the door slammed into his face, being opened from within. Shampoo looked out at the two girls who were still gaping at the scene, then noticed Ranma behind the door.  
"Ranma? What you doing?"  
Ranma pulled himself away from the changing rooms, waving his arms in a panic. "I can't go in there! Especially not when you're changing! I'm no pervert!"  
Shampoo blinked innocently. "Why you no watch?"  
Yurumi's eyes got bigger, and the saleslady's jaw went slack.  
Ranma groaned, then took a deep breath and drew himself up. "It's like this. In Japan, a guy isn't supposed to see a girl naked or in her underwear. Well... unless they're married. Or related. I guess..." Ranma trailed off lamely, leaving Shampoo with a confused expression on her pretty face.  
"Who make stupid rule like that?" She asked, annoyed that such nonsense was complicating the situation.  
By this time, Yurumi had recovered, and was shaking her head in amusement. The cashier teetered to one side slightly.  
"Shampoo no mind, Ranma can see!"  
"No! Wait! Leggo! Seriously!"  
Shampoo stopped tugging at his arm and frowned at Ranma as he wrung his hands nervously. "What Ranma problem?"  
Ranma tugged on his jacket collar nervously. "I can't just walk in there with you! It's not right!"  
"What if Ranma take clothes off too? Is okay then?" What was with all these pointless foreign customs?  
The saleswoman fell to one side, and barely managed to catch herself on a clothing rack before she hit the floor.  
"No it's not okay!!" Ranma yelled in a panic. 'They seriously don't have any rules like this in her village? What is life LIKE growing up there?!'  
Shampoo frowned in thought, and Ranma shook his head.  
"Look, you just go in there and change, and then-" *Splash* The remnants very convenient water bottle were dumped over Ranma's head, and there was a softened *Thump* as the cashier fainted away completely.  
Shampoo smiled brightly. "Now we both girl, so is okay now!" Not waiting for Ranma to bring up any more pointless, bothersome customs (she knew how shy he could be sometimes), Shampoo grabbed the pigtailed girl by the wrist and snatched her into the changing room, not even bothering to close the door.  
Ranma hastily corrected that, locking the door before realizing that she had sealed her fate.  
She turned around, sweating a bit. "Look, Shampoo, I-Gyaaah!!" And then she whirled back around as Shampoo's blouse fell to the floor.  
Shampoo blinked, noticing Ranma's antics. "What wrong?"  
Ranma sighed. "Nothing. Just change into the dress, okay?"  
Shampoo rolled her eyes, smiling as she did so. She wasn't sure why Ranma acted this way, but she found it absolutely adorable that the 'mighty, nigh-invincible, part-time-monster' Ranma Yagami had a shy and sensitive side.  
"Uhm..." Ranma started, unsure of how to broach the subject. After a moment of wondering, Ranma decided to just bite the bullet. "You don't have any underwear, do you?"  
Shampoo blinked as she finished stripping, and ran the question through her head as she reached for the first dress she wanted to try on. After a few seconds, she recalled the articles of clothing that she had seen on girls in the dressing rooms on the way to the baths she sometimes snuck into to change back into a human. "No, Shampoo no have any. Why?"  
She watched as a sweatdrop formed on the back of Ranma's head and slowly fell.  
"I thought so. We should pick some up while we're out here then."  
Shampoo just shrugged. Ranma waited in silent contemplation for a few moments as Shampoo rustled through her selections.  
'Man, being in a changing locker with a girl... what guy wouldn't give his left arm to be me right now?' She sighed, and her expression turned rather anxious. 'And what I wouldn't give him in return! Dammit, a fight I can handle, but this is too much for me! Get me outta here!'  
"Ranma, how you like this one?"  
Ranma flinched slightly, distracted from trying to distract herself, and turned around to see Shampoo holding up a dress out next to her naked body.  
"YOW!!!" *Zip!* His reflexes, thankfully, shot her right back around again. "Put the dress on first!"  
"But Shampoo no put on dress if you no like!" she insisted.  
"Oh, for pity's sake!"  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"So... um... where are we going?" Tomas couldn't help but wonder what he was doing at the mall. Min's own intentions of shopping were fairly obvious, and even if they hadn't been, Tomas really didn't care. Being dragged around in a strange town without his consent was rather annoying, at best.  
Min smiled and held her cousin's hand tightly as she scanned the shops in the mall. "I need a new outfit for when Ranma eventually asks me out! I want him to be struck dumb when he sees me!"  
Tomas rolled his eyes. "And what makes you think he's going to ask you out?"  
Min stopped, and frowned as she considered it. "Well... I don't know. Why wouldn't he?"  
"For one, he has a girlfriend," Tomas pointed out rather bluntly.  
The American blinked as a number of changes suddenly overtook Min. First, she looked surprised, perhaps even bewildered. And then, after that, her expression turned studious and thoughtful, and she straightened as she looked at her cousin.  
"Oh really?" She began rubbing her chin as she looked at him, and Tomas suddenly felt very uncomfortable. "And who is this girl?"  
"Uh... her name's Ranko. I've met her."  
Suddenly, Min was in his face, her expression a pure mask of concentration. "Is she very pretty? Skilled? Is she a martial artist or not? Very affectionate? Is she really smart? What's her personality like?"  
Tomas backed off from the torrent of questions, waving his arms wildly. "Whoa! Whoa! Cool it! I only met her a few times! I don't KNOW her!"  
Min shut her mouth and nodded seriously, and Tomas noted with some dread that she had transitioned fully from happy and somewhat lovesick to serious and determined.  
"Okay, so tell me what you know. EVERYTHING."  
Tomas gulped at the look in her eyes. What was she planning? "Well, her name's Ranko, for starters. I don't know her last name. She's really cute."  
"Cute or beautiful?" Min cut in, "there's a difference."  
Tomas sweatdropped. "Calm down. She's cute. You know, short, petite, pretty face, the works. She's a martial artist, and a pretty good one, I'd have to say. I'm not sure how good, since I"ve never seen her fight, but I think she's faster than I am." He trailed off as he tried to recall other information, and was speeded significantly from Min's expectant gaze. "Well... from when I've met her, she's kind of antisocial, really. At least around me. I don't know why. But she keeps out of sight most of the time, and she's got this whole 'girl of mystery' thing going." He shrugged. "That's pretty much all I know about her. Ranma doesn't like to talk about her or their relationship."  
Min nodded slowly and started rubbing her chin again thoughtfully. "So that's it, huh?"  
Tomas blinked, and then pointed over his cousin's shoulder. "Well, if you want to know more, she's right over there. GACK!!" Tomas choked out a cry of surprise as Min grabbed his collar and threw both of them behind a nearby fountain.  
  
Yurumi came to attention as she saw Shampoo through the glass of the front doors, happily toting a small paper bag on her arm.  
Ranma walked out stiffly behind her, and Yurumi had to suppress a laugh as she realized that Ranma's face matched her hair. Ranma grumbled to herself as she followed Shampoo, and absently pulled off her jacket and tied the sleeves around her waist.  
"So, what did you get?" She asked eagerly, running up to the Amazon and pulling on the bag.  
Shampoo smiled down at her. "Shampoo choose dress in window, that all."  
"Yeah, the dang things are expensive!" Ranma complained. Seeing how the cashier had still been out cold, she had even been forced to make change herself! What lousy service!  
Yurumi began to talk about everywhere Shampoo could go wearing something pretty, and the trio began making their way through the crowds toward more practical clothing shops. And with all the people crowded around them, not a one realized they were being watched.  
  
Min bit her lower lip as she watched the three girls leave. "So which one is it? The girl with the odangos, or the older redhead?"  
"The older redhead," Tomas sighed a bit wistfully.  
Min frowned for a moment. "Hmph. Mine are bigger."  
"Of course," Tomas agreed dryly. "I don't even know what you're worried about. Obviously Ranma will be so busy drooling over your breasts, he'll forget all about her."  
Min ignored her cousin's sarcasm, and rubbed her chin a bit in thought. "I get it..." she turned around, and Tomas blinked as she smiled slyly at him. "You have a crush on her, don't you?"  
Tomas resisted the urge to stutter and deny everything, but reddened a bit. "I wouldn't call it a 'crush'. I'm attracted to her, sure, but what guy wouldn't be?"  
Somewhat disappointed by Tomas's reaction, Min began to follow the group of girls, making sure she had a firm hold of her American relative. "But you certainly wouldn't object to going out with her, would you?"  
"Well of course no-" Tomas stopped his mouth, and then stopped his motion, jerking Min back a bit. "Hey, just what are you planning?!"  
Min glared at him a bit, then sighed. "Well, it wouldn't be right to just break up Ranma and his girlfriend, right?"  
Tomas blinked, frowning. "Right..."  
Min nodded. "Right! We've got to make sure they've both got somebody afterward!"  
Tomas sweatdropped.  
Min continued, and started pulling Tomas along again as she followed her target. "I'm not so selfish and ruthless as to shatter the bonds of love between two people for my own sake! It's just not right! Such situations must be handled gently and with great sensitivity! We have to draw them apart carefully!"  
Tomas twitched. "'We'? What's this 'we' stuff?"  
Min smiled at him. "What? You wouldn't refuse to help your cousin get her man, would you?"  
Tomas's sweatdrop grew bigger, and he moved to wipe it off. "Why are you getting me involved in this? And since when was Ranma 'your man'?"  
Min chuckled a bit darkly as she turned around once more to stalk her prey. "I've waited so long for someone like Ranma! Strong, handsome, and unyielding! This is true love! No! Stronger than true love! This is FATE!!" She sighed dreamily, a blush crossing her face.  
Tomas groaned. "Oh, for Pete's sake... You JUST met him! You've been around him for, what, 15 minutes total?"  
"So what? Don't you believe in love at first sight?" Min smiled at him.  
"No," he deadpanned.  
Suddenly she turned away, indifferent. "Well, that's not my problem." Seeing her prey move into a casual clothing store ahead, she yanked Tomas and herself onto a bench that conveniently faced the store entrance.  
"And even if I did, didn't you fall for him after he beat you? That's not 'first sight', that's more like 'first blood'. Hey, are you listening?" Tomas stopped talking and grumbled to himself quietly as Min stared intently at the entrance, clearly ignoring him.  
  
"Aiya, what this material?" Shampoo ran a hand over the pair of jeans critically.  
Yurumi pulled a much smaller pair off the rack for herself. "They're made of 'denim', I think. You've never worn jeans?"  
Shampoo shook her head, marveling at the deceptively simple piece of clothing. It was tougher than the thin, light clothes she was used to wearing, and appeared very flexible too, which would make it easier to fight in. Of course, she would've preferred something a little more elaborate, as her normal wardrobe was, but looking around, she thought it unlikely she'd find anything of that sort here. Turning to the next rack, she frowned over a row of tank tops, and quickly asked the younger Yagami over for help.  
Shampoo had taken a great liking to the girl, not just because she was Ranma's sister, but also because she was a simple, innocent window to the foreign world of modern Japan. While Ranma was part of it, at the same time, he set himself apart from his home and its ways, either by choice or by habit. Living on the road for long periods of time did that to him, she supposed. While he never found his homeland strange or new, neither did he immerse himself in it. Yurumi, on the other hand, was very much immersed, and was proving to be a window into this modern world that Shampoo had never seen before.  
Yurumi, likewise, was greatly enjoying Shampoo's company. While Ranma was proving to be rather boring to be around while shopping (as he was obviously quite bored himself), Shampoo's curiosity and utter cluelessness about her surroundings made her sort of like an older little sister, despite the oxymoron. Yurumi found herself explaining things that she never thought she would have to explain to anyone, especially not a girl more than six years older!  
Meanwhile, as the two genuine girls were becoming friends, Ranma was looking over the limited selection that she was interested in.  
After a little browsing, however, she shook her head in disgust. None of the shoes they offered (the only article of clothing that she felt might need to be replaced) had the weight and durability she was looking for, and most of them had this whole 'designer' nonsense going for them that inflated the price by swapping durable material for meaningless little logos and tacky colors. Ranma turned away from the shoe department in disgust.  
And after a moment of pointless wandering, she found herself looking at different bathing suits, which she reasoned were the only other manner of clothing she might possibly have a use for.  
She frowned as she looked over the small selection of swim trunks, finding the bright colors and flashy logos particularly distasteful. And then she realized another problem, as she looked down at the two bulbous protrusions from her chest. Cold water was in plentiful supply at all the nearby pools and beaches, as were people who would make quite a fuss, one way or another, about a chesty redhead walking around topless.  
Ever so slowly, Ranma turned his head to the adjacent clothing rack, which held a variety of one-piece woman's bathing suits.  
A heavy shudder passed through her body. 'Maybe I'll just stay on dry land for the rest of my life.' It seemed more than reasonable, considering the alternative.  
It was only because of how hard Ranma was concentrating on NOT looking at the two-piece bathing suits that she ever managed to take notice of the red cylinder that was floating above the heads of the crowds of people walking by outside the shop. Having nothing else to hold her attention, Ranma immediately moved to get a better look, scowling when she caught sight of the bewildered and utterly confused expression of the rolled-up umbrella's owner.  
"Ryoga..." Ranma growled out.  
"What was that?" Yurumi asked, walking up to her brother. "What's wrong?"  
Ranma blinked, and her features hardened as she rustled Yurumi's hair in a strangely timed gesture of affection (at least it seemed that way to Yurumi, seeing how serious Ranma was acting). "Nothing. I've gotta go take care of something. You and Shampoo can meet me outside the store when you're done, okay?"  
Yurumi was confused, but nodded in cooperation.  
  
Ryoga looked around at the crowds of people, utterly lost. It was the Hibiki condition, after all.  
However, when you got lost as much as he did, you started to recall certain things about certain areas.  
For example, the people around him were all chatting in Japanese. Which meant he was in Japan, or one of the many sectors of other countries that he had repeatedly mistaken for Japan on numerous occasions.  
For another thing, there was a lot of people around. The only place with this many Japanese people was Tokyo.  
It's quite remarkable that Ryoga was actually correct about what city he was in, especially as he was wrong about the last observation (the volume of people in the mall was nowhere near high enough for one to tell that it was in the capital). However, despite being right, it didn't help Ryoga at all, as he had no idea where Tokyo was in relation to... well, anywhere but where he was standing. In fact, all he knew was that he wanted to be far away from this city at the moment.  
He thought about asking one of the people around him which way to leave Tokyo, but managed to make another miraculous assumption that he could get out of Tokyo under his own power; he had done so enough times in the past, whether purposely or otherwise.  
And so, the people of Nerima were treated to the sight of a large boy wandering the interior of the mall with a large backpack and traveling gear, leading some newcomers to question just how big the mall was. Others were more interested in what had happened to the boy; Ryoga had bandages all over his head, wrapped around his neck and down to his waist (not that it was visible to the pedestrians), had his left arm in a sling, and was walking with a bad limp.  
Of course, it looked much better than it felt. Being caught in an inferno and then beaten to within an inch of your life had its way of hurting way after the next morning, even with the remarkable constitution and ridiculous recovery rate of Ryoga. And the fact that he had treated his own injuries without assistance didn't help much. As soon as that cafe owner had found his body lying in the alley after he had lapsed into unconsciousness, Ryoga had been immediately pronounced dead, and the owner forwent calling the paramedics in favor of the mortician. He shuddered to think of how bad he must've looked, considering that nobody ever bothered to check if he had a pulse.  
Ryoga shuddered. Waking up in a body bag, and then prying his way out of an oversized steel drawer had NOT been fun, even less so with him still being in a considerable amount of pain. Never mind that he could hardly get any help, what with all the people at the morgue screaming and fainting as he tore his way to freedom. What was with those people, anyway?  
He sighed. If things kept going on like this, he'd NEVER get to his training journey! And then Ranma...  
*Splash!*  
Ryoga shouted out in surprise, which came out as a squeal as his bandages, wrappings, and backpack fell down all over him.  
*Boot!* *SMASH!!!* Without warning or fanfare, Ranma kicked the lost pig with all his strength, sending the porcine moron through the mall roof and into the afternoon sky.  
The mass exodus of shoppers all stopped moving and looked at the hole, and then simultaneously went back to minding their own business, making sure to avoid the falling plaster and debris from that particular spot.  
  
Min nodded to herself, writing notes on a small pad of paper. "Uh huh... 'Doesn't like small, cute animals, or guys who turn into small, cute animals.'"  
Beside her, Tomas was gaping at the scene, unable to treat it with the same kind of detached acceptance common to watching bystanders who have lived in Nerima for more than a week. "He... he turned... the pig... then she... but it... how did..."  
Min watched as Ranma met with his companions back at the store, and turned away as the three girls left the mall. "I don't think trailing them anymore will yield anything useful. Now we plan."  
Tomas shook his head. "He turned into a pig! That guy who was at the Tendos! He was that pig! And then later, when Ranko kicked that pig in the park, that was that guy!"  
Min absently moved her hand under Tomas's jaw, and then pushed it closed before he could continue on that pointless train of thought. "Okay, we should do this as soon as possible, barring any extra information that we get on Ranko's relationship with Ranma." She removed her hand, and noted that Tomas's left eye was twitching. He didn't start talking again, however, so she ignored it.  
"Okay, first, we should go to one of the shops around here and pick out a cute stuffed animal for you to give to her."  
Then Min blinked, and she looked down at her notes. "Actually, maybe flowers would be better." She tapped her chin with her pen, reconsidering once more. "Then again, she seems like a bit of a tomboy to me. Chocolate's a sure bet. Everyone likes chocolate." Nodding her head decisively, she got up and tugged on Tomas's arm. "Come on! We've got to hurry before the repair crews get here and start crowding up the place! And I still want to get a new dress!"  
Tomas was yanked along helplessly behind his cousin, weariness and confusion etched into his features. "I wanna go home..."  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Reflecting on the day she had spent with her sister and his Chinese friend, Ranma had ultimately come to one paramount conclusion that had summed up his entire morning:  
Shopping sucked.  
In fact, it sucked a lot. Really, how could anyone find it enjoyable to spend lots of their money on lots of fancy, unnecessary, and impractical clothes? Hell, for that matter, how could they enjoy shopping for practical clothes as well? Whenever she went shopping, whether for clothes or food, her objective was always the same: spend as little time and money in the store as possible. What was it with girls and shopping? Did they have an altogether different goal? One that demanded the expenditure of the same resources he sought to preserve?  
He frowned. At least Shampoo had started out in her camp, being from a small village where actual survival was still of some small concern to the natives. However, Yurumi had infected her with that damnable love of browsing, and the mighty, proud Amazon warrior was currently walking ahead of him, asking the grade school student about different outfit accessories. Ranma shook her head sadly, ashamed at how far his friend had fallen.  
Really, the only thing even remotely entertaining that happened during the trip was getting to dish out a little more gratuitous punishment on Ryoga. Still, if she never saw the fanged jerk again, it would be too soon.  
Aside from everything else, however, Ranma was very glad that she had steadfastly refused to enter the store when Yurumi took Shampoo to shop for lingerie. She didn't care what Akane or anybody else said! Ranma Yagami was no pervert, and that was that!  
Ironically, this conjured up an image of Shampoo wearing nothing but her underwear, which was easy to imagine, as the girl was walking right in front of Ranma, and the pigtailed girl had already seen her wearing less. And thus, trying to banish the thought, Ranma noticed a girl with black hair tied into a ponytail wearing a school uniform surrounded by three other girls wearing t-shirts and gym shorts in a field on the side of the road.  
"Hey, aren't they in my class?" Ranma wondered aloud, and stopped to watch the proceedings.  
After a moment of talking, which Ranma couldn't hear from her position, the girl with the ponytail slowly removed a ribbon from her bag. The surrounding girls yelled and charged, and Ranma blinked in surprise as the seeming victim fended them off easily with her ribbon. In fact, she continued whipping them with it even after the attacking girls had already fallen on the defensive, and Ranma frowned before deciding to intervene.  
  
*Thwap!* *Thwap!* *Thwap!* "If I weren't a lady!" the ponytailed girl yelled, whipping her ribbon around skillfully, "I would have to teach you some manners!" *Thwap!* *Thwap!* *Thwick*  
She blinked as her ribbon went taut, and frowned as a redheaded girl appeared before her, holding her ribbon easily in one hand.  
Ranma snorted. "Not much of a lady if you ask me. Don't you think they've had enough?"  
The girl raised her eyebrow, but mostly ignored the taunt. "You caught my ribbon... that's never been done..."  
"Wonderful," Ranma muttered dryly, "remind me to give myself a pat on the back later." Casting a glance behind her, she could see Shampoo and Yurumi jogging up to the confrontation, having realized that Ranma had stopped following them.  
The girl chuckled lightly, and let her ribbon's handle drop to the ground. "My, what a dreary tongue you have. But out of respect for your skill, I'll ignore such minor misgivings." She reached back into her bag, and pulled out a short gymnastics club. "My name is Kodachi, the Black Rose of St. Hebereke High School and captain of the St. Hebereke martial arts rhythmic gymnastics team. And you, little girl, should really learn to mind your own BUSINESS!!" She punctuated the last word with a thrust of the club to her opponent's forehead, which seemed to have hit home; at least, until Ranma's afterimage faded away.  
Kodachi only had time to mutter a puzzled "What?" before Ranma's boot smashed into her back, sending the gymnast sprawling out onto the ground heavily.  
"Yo Rose, watch where you're jabbing those things!" Ranma growled.  
Kodachi got up unsteadily, her face twisted in an expression of supreme distaste. "Such brutality and crude language are far more befitting of a THUG than a young lady. I must say you're quite an embarrassment to the female gender!"  
Much to Kodachi's confusion, the purple haired girl and the smaller redhead began snickering to themselves where they watched from the boundary of the road.  
Ranma simply smirked. "Wouldn't have it any other way!"  
Kodachi turned away pointedly, wiping some dirt off her dress and collecting her bag. "The lower classes must be in a truly pitiful state if the most able warriors are so lacking in grace and manners. *Sigh* Such is the quandary of poor breeding, I suppose."  
Ranma rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Are you done, or do you want another?"  
Kodachi sniffed haughtily and turned away, looking for all the world as if she was leaving because she alone had decided to do so.  
  
Ranma waited until she had turned the corner before dropping her glare. "I don't like her."  
"Shampoo think you not only one." The Amazon cast a glance at the downtrodden schoolgirls, two of which had begun weeping.  
"At this rate, we'll never get her!" One of them wailed, while the other sobbing gymnast nodded.  
The third one, however, stood up and raised a fist. "No! We can't give up now! We can still win! All we have to do is find Akane?"  
Ranma blinked. "Akane? Akane Tendo?" Now that he could get a good look at the girls, they had several bandages and wrappings on various parts of their body, and generally looked rather worse for wear.  
The girl turned toward, and nodded with determination burning in her eyes. "Thank you for helping us! But we have to get to the Tendo Dojo as soon as possible! Can you take us there?"  
Ranma blinked once more. "Tendo Dojo? Sure."  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"What? The entire rhythmic gymnastics team is injured?" Akane gasped as the three schoolgirls looked up at her in desperation.  
"Yeah! The upcoming match against St. Hebereke is in two weeks!"  
"They're the tournament champions. They've always won their matches by default by attacking and disabling all of the opposing teams before the match!"  
"Akane, you have to help us! We can't afford to lose to St. Hebereke again! Please say you'll help! You're our only hope!"  
Akane smiled down at the three beat-up looking girls, and raised a fist into the air. "Don't worry guys! I'll take care of it! They'll never know what hit them!"  
Shampoo, Ranma, and Yurumi all stood at the other end of Akane's room, the former two with doubtful looks.  
"Shampoo think they is making mistake here."  
"It's like contracting a fever to fight a cold," Ranma muttered, "she'll probably embarrass them worse than if they gave up now."  
Across the room, a huge vein popped up on Akane's head. "And just WHAT are you three doing here anyway?!"  
Shampoo shrugged and pointed to the gymnasts. "We follow them."  
Ranma rolled her eyes. "Akane, do have any EXPERIENCE in rhythmic gymnastics?"  
Akane crossed her arms over her chest. "No, but so what? It's MARTIAL ARTS rhythmic gymnastics, and I'm the best martial artist at school!"  
Ranma stared at her for a moment, then opened her mouth to speak.  
"Shut up!" Akane interrupted, glaring dangerously.  
Ranma's mouth closed again.  
"Okay, so maybe you could stand up to me! But I'm still more than a match for Kodachi!" The three gymnasts nodded in assent; it made sense to them.  
Ranma shook her head. "Akane, rhythmic gymnastics, whether martial arts or not, requires mostly agility, flexibility, skill, and precision. You're really more the... well... strength-above-all type. Kodachi's not gonna stand there and take it like your cinder blocks, and she's not gonna just charge into you blindly like those morons at school."  
The gymnasts started considering Ranma's words, looking more and more worried as they did so. The vein on Akane's head throbbed bigger.  
"When I WANT your opinion, Yagami... I'll ASK for it!" She growled out.  
Ranma shrugged, turning around. "Well, I'm just saying. If you're gonna do this, then do it, but just try not to hurt yourself before Kodachi even has a chance to get to ya." Shampoo and Yurumi snickered at the joke.  
Akane didn't.  
*Pow!!* *Wham!!* Boom!!* Ranma slammed into the wall opposite the door to Akane's room, creating a new Ranma-shaped dent among the series of old ones that had been mostly repaired since Ranma's departure from the Tendo household.  
"Ranma!" Yurumi shouted as she ran from the young Tendo's room, "are you okay?"  
Shampoo followed quickly. "Shampoo understand Ranma no like hit girl... but Ranma should give that one good can whoop-ass anyway."  
Ranma slowly slid out of her indentation, and winced as her head hit the floor.  
"See what I mean?" she muttered, "nothin' but brute strength."  
Despite his comment, and regardless of the accuracy of it, the three gymnasts exited the roof thanking Akane profusely, though they occasionally gave Ranma's indentation an uneasy glance.  
"Just make sure to practice Akane. I'm sure you'll do fine." The gymnast handed Akane a gymnastics ribbon with a confident smile.  
"Thanks guys. I won't let you down!" Akane gave a victorious smile, then turned to walk back into her room, accidentally entangling the ribbon between her feet.  
*Wham!* "Ow!" *Crash!* The six girls all winced as Akane tumbled into the room in a panicked bundle, and smashed into some object of apparently fragile constitution.  
Ranma wearily picked herself up off the ground and tightened the jacket around her waist. "We warned you."  
The three gymnasts sweatdropped, and began to look a little less sure of themselves.  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Genma Saotome was a humble man.  
Well, he was humble in theory, and quite so in image, at least. He had a minor habit of boasting about his martial arts skill, but even that had begun to die down as the man reached middle age.  
Once trained by the Grandmaster of the Anything-Goes School of Martial Arts, Genma Saotome was once a proud warrior with the combat skills matched by but a handful of mortal men. Well, again, in theory.  
In practice, he had been a rather embarrassing example of a martial artist that spent much of his training being endlessly tortured and humiliated, while his reputation quickly twisted itself to match that of the thief and hopeless lecher that he was easily mistaken for, given Happousai's training methods. While he had developed formidable combat skills, he had used them for very little besides getting himself out of minor scrapes and doing heavy labor.  
And so, after wandering about aimlessly for quite some time, he finally broke down and got a job hauling crates. Being a martial artist didn't pay the restaurant tab after all, and while Genma had few compunctions about the occasional stint of petty thievery, he wasn't going to lead a life of crime.  
He found he had little to complain about, day to day. The work wasn't that hard, the pay was decent, and his boss sometimes treated the entire group to a few rounds at the local bar. After wasting so many years of his life earning martial arts skills that were now rusting over, Genma had taken up getting drunk off his ass as something of a hobby.  
Still, that was his one major regret in life. He had lots of little ones, but his one big one was wasting all that time. And for what? His skills were now in such disuse that he was now having to put forth actual effort to win the common bar fights in the area. While his job had preserved a good measure of upper-body strength, his swift feet and agile body, the hallmarks of the Anything-Goes style, were now a thing of his memories. He still had his experience and knowledge, but what good were they?  
Genma had long wanted a son to pass his skills on to, but had mostly given up on that idea. He could manage to rope the occasional drunk woman into the sack, as could any half-wit laborer, but he just couldn't get the hang of an actual long-term relationship. Why couldn't he find a nice, attractive woman who appreciated qualities like shallow lust, an insatiable appetite, and a powerful sex drive?  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"ACHOOO!" Nodoka Yagami sneezed to the side of her cooking, and gently wiped her nose before returning to the recipe. "Hmm... someone must be thinking of me."  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Oh well. They were all concerns that Genma had pondered on many times before. It wasn't like a solution was just going to pop up out of nowhere. Besides, he had more important, short-term things to worry about. Like food.  
"Good evening Saotome," greeted the apartment superintendent, walking across the hall.  
Genma smiled slightly and grunted a general acknowledgement, holding the bundle under his arm a little tighter.  
"Whatcha got there Genma?" the man asked curiously, eyeing the bundle.  
Genma smirked. "My dinner. A gift from the gods, I must say," he spoke with an absolutely straight face as he took the bundle out from under his arm and folded back the blanket.  
The man blinked. "A gift from the gods? This pig?"  
"FLYING pig," Genma corrected.  
The superintendent blinked once more. "Flying pig?"  
Genma nodded somberly. "Yes. Came right down out of the sky and imbedded itself four feet into solid concrete. And it's still alive to boot. If that's not heavenly intervention, I don't know what is."  
An eyebrow was raised. "And you're... going to eat it?"  
Genma shrugged. "Of course. What else would I do with a pig?"  
The man nodded, pretending that he understood. "Quite." He looked down at the unconscious animal once more. "What is that he's covered in? It looks like plaster."  
Genma snorted. "Who cares? Could be pixie dust for all I know."  
The superintendent scratched his head, then shrugged and turned away. "Well, enjoy your meal, Saotome."  
  
Genma hummed lightly to himself as he closed the door to his apartment, and set the bundle down on the counter that served as his kitchen. Immediately he removed two large cutting knives from his drawer, and began sharpening them on each other.  
Whether it was the high-pitched whine of steel scraping on steel, or just dumb luck, Ryoga slowly stumbled out of the bleak fog of unconsciousness and into the world of the aware.  
*Squeak* A faucet knob was turned, and Ryoga's ears twitched as they picked up the faint hiss of hot water gently streaming into a steel container. As his ears were functioning far better than his eyes, he concentrated on the sound for as long as the faucet was on.  
*Clank* Ryoga couldn't tell what that was, so he struggled to restore his vision. At first everything was blurry and white, but after a moment, things solidified to just white.  
Ryoga blinked, and wearily looked up.  
There, looking down at him, was a large man wearing thin glasses and a white bandanna that covered the top of his head.  
Genma clicked his tongue. "Oh dear. Wish you had stayed asleep. Ah well, don't worry, I'll make this quick." He brought the two knives to bear.  
Genma had never seen such a reaction in a pig before. First, its eyes went wide, as if struck by comprehension rather than just plain instinctual fear. Then, it dodged the incoming knife. Not scurried away, or rolled, or scrambled, but DODGED. It hopped to the side and stayed there, as if trying to determine the next strike and prepare for it.  
Ryoga was glad to see that the man looked surprised, because it gave him a few extra precious moments to work out a plan.  
Hot water. There had been-  
*Thunk!* Ryoga hopped to the side quickly, and then jumped for the man's arm before deflecting off of him and towards the stove, where a pot of hot water was sitting. He winced as soon as he jumped, as his entire body felt very sore, cramped, tired, and generally not very good at all. Obviously being kicked into the sky hadn't helped his injuries much.  
*Whang!* *Splash* *Klang!* Genma cursed as the pig barreled into his pot, spilling hot water everywhere and knocking the pot down.  
"OWW!!! HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT!!!" Ryoga pulled his rear off the still-active stove burner, and rolled his body tiredly onto the wet floor. "Ohhh..."  
Genma stared in surprise, then straightened and scratched his head. Then he frowned. "Hey boy, what did you do with my pig?"  
Ryoga twitched, then got up angrily, not bothering to try to preserve his modesty. "I was that pig you jerk!! How dare you try to eat me!!"  
Genma crossed his arms over his chest, considering. "Well, I guess it can't be helped then. Ramen again tonight. Get out of here, boy." Turning away from the naked intruder, he opened up his cabinet.  
Ryoga shook slighty, and a green haze slowly built around him. "The last two days have been nothing but pure hell... I've been burnt, blasted, beaten, cut, kicked, and almost eaten..."  
Genma blinked as the energies tickled his senses, even as he ignored the speech. Ever so slowly, he turned around to see the nude teenager glaring hot death at him.  
"WELL I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!!! NOBODY TREATS RYOGA HIBIKI THIS WAY AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!!!" Ryoga launched forward with a mighty haymaker, and Genma dodged out of the way as it smashed the cabinet to splinters, digging past the rickety wood and deep into the reinforced wall behind it.  
Genma attacked the lost boy's back with a swift roundhouse, but to his surprise, the snarling teenager didn't even stumble as it connected, completely ignoring the force behind it.  
Ryoga's fist tore through the wall as he ripped it free to smash into Genma in a clumsy backhand, and then Ryoga finished the aged martial artist off with a brutal uppercut that sent the pudgy bald man through the opposite wall and into his bedroom.  
As Genma lapsed into unconsciousness, Ryoga breathed deep, heavy breaths and slowly let his aura fade.  
Which proved to be a mistake, as without the rush of energy and adrenaline, all his pain came back tenfold, with extra hotspots on his back and right arm. Gritting his teeth, the naked lost boy fell to his knees and gladly succumbed to the gentle sleep of the insensate.  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"Utility pole on your right."  
Tomas grunted and shifted to the left, barely avoiding the imminent collision. Frowning mightily, he shifted the towering weight in his arms before complaining once more.  
"One more time. Why can't you take any of these stupid packages?"  
Min rolled her eyes. "Because I need my vision clear to navigate, that's why. Fire hydrant to your left."  
*Clang!* Tomas didn't move quite quickly enough, and his knee tagged the edge of one of the plug caps. Grimacing, Tomas stumbled, but managed not to spill the mountain of bags that obscured his vision.  
"If you're going to navigate, can you put a little more effort into?!" the American growled.  
Min sighed. "Oh, stop whining. Imagine, a big, strong martial artist like you complaining about the weight of a few bags."  
Tomas twitched, but said nothing.  
*Trip* Tomas shouted out in surprise as his toe hit a concrete step, and he pitched forward.  
"We're back!" Min called out happily.  
*Crash!* *Bam!* *Tumble* *Crunch!* *Splat!*  
Min winced, and a sweatdrop rolled down her head. "Uhm... sorry. Watch out for the front porch next time, okay?"  
Tomas grumbled something incoherent as he yanked a blouse off of his head.  
  
*Bam* The front door opened, and Min blinked as her father stepped forward, his face as serious as death itself.  
She bigsweated slightly and lowered her head. She had been hoping she could get all her purchases inside and put away before her father saw them and blew a fuse about how much she had spent.  
"Er... hi Daddy. Uh, this is..."  
Andy nodded back to Min. "Hello Min. Welcome home." he turned away from his daughter and focused on Tomas, who was picking himself up. "Ah! Tomas. Just the man I wanted to see. Could I speak to you for a moment?"  
Tomas and Min both blinked. Min was surprised that Andy hadn't seemed to notice the packages, and his face still held that utterly serious expression, despite the casual greeting and the light tone of voice.  
"Er, okay, sure. What about?"  
Andy clapped his nephew on the back lightly, and led him into the house, leaving Min to pick up her purchases. "This is a matter of the utmost urgency." Andy led them both into the dojo, and then led Tomas further into the far corner of the practice hall, positioned so that he could see anybody trying to eavesdrop.  
Tomas noticed the rather troubled look on his uncle's face. "Hey, is everything okay?"  
Andy sighed. "Maybe. Maybe not. Look, has Terry ever told you much about Iori Yagami?"  
Tomas frowned in thought. "I don't know what you'd consider 'much', but he's told me enough. The guy's battles against Kyo Kusanagi were legendary, and were sort of the central focus of the King of Fighter's Tournaments after Dad beat Wolfgang Krauser."  
Andy nodded. "Right. From what your father told you, how would you describe Iori?"  
Tomas shrugged. "Insane, brutal, ruthless; the works. Seems kind of mellow now, though."  
Andy scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Well, not that I don't trust your judgement, but this is a bit more complicated than that."  
Comprehension began to dawn on Tomas. "Ahhh... I get it. I don't think you have to worry. Ranma's not a bad guy."  
"Again, I'd like to trust your judgement, but..." Andy sighed heavily. "I don't know enough about what Min's getting into to justify any interference on my part. She's always been fighting and flirting with boys before, but I don't know how she's reacting to having actually LOST to one of them." He frowned deeply. "If it's anything like how her mother reacted..." he shuddered.  
Tomas snickered to himself. He remembered his father's stories of how Mai had fallen for Andy after a huge misunderstanding that ended in the embarrassed martial artist cleanly beating the young ninja.  
He stopped laughing when Andy grabbed him by the shoulders. "Listen to me Tomas! I love my little girl with all my heart, and I don't want to see her hurt or violated! But as a trusting and reasonable parent, I can't forbid her from seeing this 'Ranma' person. Of course, the only option that leaves is following her around all the time, which is both irrational and impossible for me."  
Tomas scratched his head. "Yeah, pretty much." He considered mentioning that Ranma already had a girlfriend, but decided against it. That would likely create more problems and complications than it would solve.  
"So I want YOU to do it for me."  
*Thud!*  
Andy blinked. "I see you've picked up facefaulting very well. I guess this 'immersion' stuff works, huh?"  
Tomas got up unsteadily. "You want me to spy on Min?"  
Andy shook his head fiercely. "Of course not! That wouldn't be right! I just want you to be around her all the time. You're already enrolled at her school, and she drags you along behind her anyway. I just want you to look after her too."  
Tomas scratched his head. "Well... okay... I guess that's no big deal. But what if she goes out with him and I can't come along or something?"  
A vein popped out on Andy's head. "Then you spy on her!! Don't leave that creep alone with my little girl under any circumstances!!"  
Tomas bigsweated. "But you just said-"  
"UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES!!!" Andy repeated, his head spontaneously tripling in size and sending Tomas falling back onto his rear. "AND IF THAT BOY TOUCHES HER, YOU'RE TO BEAT HIS ASS DOWN!!! YOU GOT THAT?!?!"  
Tomas hastily stood back up straight and saluted shakily. "Y-Y-Yes sir!!"  
A soft sigh emanated from the corner of the dojo, distracting both men and causing Andy's demon head to deflate.  
Mai held a hand to her forehead, eyebrow twitching. "Dear, WHAT are you doing?"  
Andy sweatdropped, realizing that he had gotten so caught up in his instruction that he had forgotten to look out for intruders. "Looking after my little girl, that's what!"  
Mai gave her husband a flat stare, then shook her head. "While you have every right to be concerned, and I'm actually rather impressed that you're not going to try and stop her from seeing the boy altogether, you can't just drag Tomas into this."  
Andy hung his head, his blond hair falling over his shoulder. "Well... I mean, I just wanted..."  
Mai smiled slightly as she walked up to her husband and put and hand on his shoulder.  
"Dear, Min will make mistakes. She'll get hurt. And she'll learn from the experience, and grow. You can't protect her from life." Andy sighed heavily, and reluctantly gave a slight nod.  
Tomas scratched the back of his head, then shrugged. "Eh, this is getting a bit deep for me. If you don't need me, then-"  
"Not so fast, mister." Tomas blinked as his aunt stopped him with a look.  
Mai cleared her throat. "I don't expect you to follow Min to the bathroom to keep track of her, and I certainly don't want you SPYING on her, but I do expect you to look out for your cousin. Understand?"  
Tomas wiped his forehead in relief. "Uh huh, sure! That I can do!"  
  
Meanwhile, upstairs, Min was blissfully unaware of the maelstrom of concern that her new pursuit had conjured up. In fact, she was much more concerned with what her father would do when he eventually snapped out of whatever was bothering him and noticed that two of his credit cards didn't work anymore.  
Nonetheless, even this concern faded away as she held up a strapless gown on her left side and a one-piece spandex bathing suit in the other.  
Comparing them next to her in the full-length mirror, Min began to chuckle darkly.  
"Look out Ranko... all's fair in love and war... and this means war!"  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Genma awoke slowly, blinking rapidly as sight and feel all came rushing at him at once.  
He winced as he realized how badly his jaw throbbed. Sight he could deal with, but feel... he could've lived with another hour or so of sleep.  
It was about then that his mental faculties started taking full stock of the situation, and Genma's eyes widened before the pudgy man pushed himself off the floor. To his surprise, everything in his sparse bedroom was where it was supposed to be, proving that he had not been robbed.  
To his further surprise, he could also see his attacker, now fully clothed, sitting miserably in the middle of his living room. Blinking in surprise, he turned to look at the clock, confirming that he had been out cold for more than three hours. He winced at that. He sure couldn't take a hit like in the old days, and had been very ill prepared for that uppercut as well.  
Still, the boy had apparently been awake when he hadn't been. Why was he still here?  
Shifting his belt, Genma strode out into his living room purposefully, clearing his throat to attract the intruder's attention.  
Ryoga turned toward the older man wearily. "Oh. You're awake."  
Genma nodded, glaring a bit. "And may I ask why you're still here?"  
"I can't find the exit," Ryoga mumbled irritably.  
Genma blinked. Then he looked across the tiny room at the door to the hall, left to the door to the bathroom, and then behind him at the caved-in door to his bedroom. Then he turned back to Ryoga. "Boy, just how stupid do you think I am?"  
Ryoga growled and shot up. "Shut up!! You have no idea what it's like for me!!" Then the lost boy winced, and gingerly sat back down, having aggravated his injuries.  
Genma stared at him for a moment, then sighed. "Look boy, I don't know who you are, how you turned into a pig, or where you got those clothes from..." Genma took a deep breath, then continued, "but you're clearly injured, so if you insist on staying the night, go ahead. But just for tonight!"  
Ryoga blinked, then growled. "I'm not 'insisting' on anything! I can't find the way out!"  
Genma rolled his eyes. "So you say boy. If you're hungry, I have some instant ramen in the cabinet you smashed in. Consider it an apology for trying to cook you." With that, Genma entered his bedroom, pieced together the splintered halves of his door, and then shoved it into the frame, managing to prop it up with a chair so it didn't fall.  
Ryoga went back to his brooding as soon as the door was jammed into place. His journey to train and become strong enough to eventually kill Ranma had gone from a rocky start, to really bad, to so utterly miserable that suicide was looking pretty comfortable about now.  
'Still,' Ryoga thought, taking out a scroll that he had found wandering about this man's apartment, 'at least I didn't come out of it empty-handed. Well, if I get this Yama-Sen-Ken thing to work, anyway.'  
  
**********************************************************************************  
  
End Chapter 8 


	9. Two's Company, Three's a Mess

Ranma Yagami staggered into the small break room, his ears ringing mightily and his entire upper body aching.  
  
"Aye aye aye aye aye... man, that was loud... and painful..." Reaching the small table in the center of the room, he pulled out one of the chairs surrounding it and sat down heavily.  
  
Sitting across from him was a fairly tall figure wearing a black robe and hood such that it was impossible to see his face. In fact, the only parts of the figure's body that were visible were his hands, wrists, and feet, all of which were apparently composed of animated bone. Across the back of his chair, a large, ragged-looking scythe was propped up behind him.  
  
Death raised his cup of coffee to the pit of black that represented his face, and took a long sip before shaking his head. "Dude, I told you that Rayden guy was a tough rumble. I mean, he's what, five times your weight?"  
  
"Five times YOUR weight maybe," Ranma corrected irritably, "I happen to have organs. 'Sides, he can take it like nobody's business, but he can't dish out jack."  
  
Death shrugged and slurped down the rest of his coffee. "*Gulp* Yeah, well, just watch your back, alright? I'm just sayin', those Original Character brats are like high school cheerleaders. You upstage 'em once and you're an enemy for life." Death got up from his chair. "I'm gonna get some more coffee. You want a cup?"  
  
"Decaf, sugar, two spoons," Ranma rattled off as he twisted a finger in his ear.  
  
Death crossed the room toward the coffee machine that was lying on a counter along the wall. "So what's up? Anything new?"  
  
"Naw, just beating up the rest of the staff for fun." Ranma answered. "How about you? You had that contract renegotiation thing goin' right?"  
  
Death sighed as he sat back down, pushing Ranma's coffee toward him. "Fell through, I'm afraid. You know that negotiations have broken down when you get an emergency call to guide your agent to the land of the dead."  
  
"Hmm," Ranma mused as he took a sip of his coffee. "Hey, do all lawyers go to Hell?"  
  
"No, only the ones who are any good." Death sipped his own coffee, then stared down into his mug, idly tapping a single skeletal finger on the outer rim of the cup. "So anyway, I'm pretty much stuck with the whole 'Glitch' gig for now." Death looked up hopefully. "Unless there's a reorganization..."  
  
"I haven't heard anything," Ranma said apologetically. "Sorry. At least you get a dignified part. I have to turn into a girl, get my head bashed in by some crazy chick, and play some kind of freaky zombie thing.."  
  
Death shrugged. "At least you don't have to wear a sailor fuku. Pity the poor bastard who has to squeeze into that thing."  
  
Ranma shuddered. "Goddamn Sailor Moon crosses... who thinks up that stuff?"  
  
"Alcoholics, mostly," Death answered, raising his coffee cup to take a sip.  
  
After a moment, Death put down his cup and turned back toward Ranma. "Hey, me and the Supernova robots are gonna go whoop the Nexus demons at softball at noon. You in?"  
  
Ranma slurped down some of his own coffee before shaking his head. "Sorry, I've got work. Maybe next week."  
  
"All the demons'll be dead by then."  
  
Ranma shrugged. "Oh well. Never liked softball much, anyway."  
  
*Bang* *Tomp*  
  
Ranma and Death looked over toward the closet door as several soft bumping noises came from behind it.  
  
After a moment, the door opened, and Inu-Yasha stepped out of it, yawning and scratching the back of his head.  
  
The half-demon walked slowly up to the table in the middle of the room and pulled out chair for himself.  
  
Ranma and Death stared at him.  
  
"The hell? How long have you been in there?"  
  
Inu-Yasha blinked, then looked upward in thought. "For almost two days now, I think. I was just taking a nap. *Yawn*"  
  
"Don't you ever work?" Death asked irritably, crossing his arms over his chest.  
  
Inu-Yasha shot him an annoyed glance. "Of course I... uh..." he trailed off as he thought seriously about the question. "You know, actually, I don't think I do."  
  
Ranma snickered. "And he gets paid more 'an you do, to boot."  
  
Death's eyebrow would have twitched, had he possessed any in the first place. "Just wait mutt. Next weekend your union leader's going to find out why you should always look BOTH ways when crossing the street."  
  
Inu-Yasha blinked a few times in surprise.  
  
Ranma leaned forward thoughtfully. "Hey, you know when everybody's going to die?"  
  
Death nodded. "Yeah. I keep my lists on this Palm Pilot." Death took a small Palm Pilot out of his robe pocket and flipped it open. "Here, take a look."  
  
Ranma took the unit eagerly, and then started scanning the list.  
  
"Hey, are you allowed to show us this?" Inu-Yasha asked dubiously.  
  
"No, not really. But I just 'assisted' my supervisor last week after he tried to pick a fight with Jesus, so I've got no worries."  
  
"Jesus killed him?"  
  
"Ripped his heart out of his chest with his bare hands, then healed the external wound without putting the heart back. It was pretty cool."  
  
"Aw, man!" Ranma exclaimed, looking over the tiny screen. "Phil's gonna bite it in three days! That guy was cool!"  
  
Inu-Yasha scooted over to look over Ranma's shoulder. "Lessee... 'cause of death'... well, at least he won't suffer. Much."  
  
Ranma looked up. "Hey, is this thing accurate?"  
  
Death shrugged. "Give or take a few seconds. What with 'free will' and all."  
  
"Hey look! Black Dragon's on this thing!"  
  
"Let me see! Let me see! When's he gonna die?"  
  
Ranma scanned the single line of data, and both his eyebrows rose. "Whoa..."  
  
Inu-Yasha grinned and threw his hands up. "All right! Three day weekend!"  
  
Yagami 1/2  
  
A Ranma 0.5/King of Fighters Crossover  
  
by Black Dragon  
  
black_dragon74@hotmail.com  
  
http://www.angelfire.com/anime5/fanficlair/index.html  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Many have accused me of being an Akane-basher. I say to these people: "That's hardly fair, to be yelling and accusing like that. Because I've already ADMITTED to being an Akane-basher! Have you people just been asleep, or what?"  
  
And Luke said to Obi-Wan: "I want to learn to use the Force. I want to be a Jedi, like my father before me."  
  
Amen.  
  
Chapter 9  
  
Two's Company, Three's a Mess  
  
**********************************************************************************  
  
*Twok!* *Twok!*  
  
Ranma parried the two strikes with his fists, deflecting the bokken to keep Kuno as far off-balance as possible.  
  
*Thok!* Ranma kicked Kuno in the gut, and then pushed away, a retaliatory strike passing just millimeters from his nose.  
  
Kuno gasped as he was knocked back, and tried to regain his bearings as Ranma skipped away. "Fiend! Surrender, or know true pain! Today, the great and noble Tatewak-"  
  
Ranma's hand burst into a miasma of purple energy as he finished charging his attack. "Gouka dan."  
  
*KA-THWOOOOOOOOOM!!!*  
  
Across Furinkan's campus, Akane frowned as she watched the expanding dome of flame. "Looks like they're at it again. Don't those dolts ever learn?"  
  
Nabiki shrugged, in the middle of eating her lunch. "Kuno won't stop attacking Ranma until he wins or he's permanently hospitalized, and Ranma won't stop fighting the moron off."  
  
"Hmph. Ranma could at least take him down without burning craters into the school yard. The jerk's just showing off." Akane would have been eating her lunch as well, but had lost it on the way to school after it apparently corroded a hole through the bottom of her bag. And after all the time she spent preparing it, too!  
  
"Isn't it wonderful though?" Min gushed, staring at the smoke that was still wafting from the blast site. "He's just so cool! Nobody can beat him!"  
  
Akane and Nabiki stared at the smiling girl who was suddenly sitting across from them at the table.  
  
"Uhm, we don't want to be rude, but-"  
  
"What are you doing here?"  
  
Min kept on smiling as she opened her bento box and broke apart her chopsticks. "Oh, I just heard some gossip around the school about you two and thought I'd introduce myself! I'm-"  
  
"Min Bogard, sophomore, practitioner of Shiranui Ninjitsu, and Tomas' cousin," Nabiki recited.  
  
Min blinked in surprise. "Uh... yeah. How'd you know all that?"  
  
"Oh, just some 'gossip around the school'," Nabiki deadpanned. Then she frowned. "So what's your deal with Yagami? I heard he pulped you when you made him fight a match."  
  
Min nodded happily. "Uh huh! He was a lot stronger than I'd hoped!" Min then leaned closer to the girls across from him. "Look, he used to live with you, right? Do you think you could get me a date with him?"  
  
Akane and Nabiki jerked back in surprise, staring at Min.  
  
"You want a date with that idiot?!" Akane exclaimed. "Why?"  
  
Min blinked. "Idiot? He seems like an alright guy to me. Strong, reliable, independent-"  
  
"Violent, egotistical, prone to pyromania..." Akane rattled off irritably.  
  
Min shrugged. "Whatever. Nobody's perfect, right? You could do a lot worse for yourself at this school."  
  
As if to underline her statement, Hiroshi and Daisuke chose that moment to pass by, carrying the charred husk that was Tatewaki Kuno to the nurse's office.  
  
"True enough, I suppose," Nabiki mumbled, deep in thought. "Why do you think we could get you a date with him?"  
  
Min tapped her chin with a forefinger thoughtfully. "Well, maybe not a date, but a meeting, at least? You know, like maybe set him up as my tutor, or martial arts instructor, or something like that?" Min winked at Nabiki, and Akane sweatdropped.  
  
'She's serious, isn't she?' Nabiki thought. "That brings me to the next obvious question. Why should I do this for you?"  
  
Min blinked, then reached a hand down into the purse she kept at her side, withdrawing a small pocketbook. "Well, what would be worth your trouble?"  
  
Akane stared at Nabiki as she shifted to her business poker face. It seemed odd, but in the split second after Min had asked that, Nabiki had seemed... angry?  
  
"No deal." Nabiki said simply, stunning both her sister and the Ninja girl.  
  
Min blinked rapidly in surprise. "What? Uh... well, I guess I could help you out in other ways, if you want. You know, a favor for a favor? I'm a good fighter, and-"  
  
"Sorry, I didn't make myself clear," Nabiki interrupted, "I'm not selling that particular service."  
  
"Nabiki?" Akane asked worriedly, "is something the matter?" Was she still bitter over that falling out that she and Ranma had gone through? No, it couldn't be. Nabiki could hold a grudge as well as anyone, but not over something like that. But why else would she refuse a perfectly reasonable offer like that?  
  
Min frowned deeply, and put her pocketbook back in her purse. "Well, I guess it can't be helped. Thank you for your time."  
  
Min got up and patted down her skirt a bit, and then turned to face Akane before she left. "By the way, you're the girl that's competing in that rhythmic gymnastics match this week, right?"  
  
Akane nodded. "Uh huh. We have to beat St. Hebereke to win the title this year!"  
  
Min nodded her head slowly in thought. "You know, I've always been a decent gymnast. And it couldn't hurt to add some more practice to my schedule. Do you have anything I can sign, or is there somebody you can refer me to?"  
  
Akane blinked, and then put a hand to the back of her head. "You know, uh, actually, I'm not on the rhythmic gymnastics team! I'm just substituting for them for the finals!"  
  
Min blinked. "What? How does that work?"  
  
"St. Hebereke cheats by attacking competitors outside the ring so that they can win by default. All our team members are either injured or don't stand a chance, so they got me to do it!" Akane smiled. "I'm the best... er..." her smile faded slightly, and she frowned a bit darkly, "one of the best martial artists at Furinkan." 'That stupid jerk Ranma... just wait, one day I'll show him!'  
  
"Wow," Min exclaimed, clasping her hands behind her back, "that must be kind of rough. Martial arts like karate have surprisingly little in common with gymnastics fighting."  
  
"Something that Akane is having drilled into her ego every night," Nabiki interjected, smirking slightly. Akane glared slightly at her in response.  
  
Min nodded in understanding. "It's hard, I know. If you're good enough to compete in the finals though, you have nothing to worry about. Most people who start doing gymnastics martial arts are completely inept with the tools, and it can get very frustrating."  
  
Nabiki's smirk grew as Akane twitched. "Yes, well, thank goodness you're past that, right Akane?"  
  
"I'm getting better," she mumbled.  
  
"Oh well! Good luck with that! Goodbye!" Min waved to the Tendo sisters as she walked toward the still-smoking field, and soon disappeared behind the corner of the cafeteria.  
  
Nabiki's smile dropped as soon as the Ninja was out of sight. "I don't like her."  
  
Akane blinked. It wasn't that unusual for Nabiki to be so blunt; she could be disturbingly direct when she really needed to get a point across, but it was strange to see her judging someone so harshly. Out loud, anyway.  
  
"What's wrong with her?" Akane asked, "I know she seems like kind of a ditz, and she obviously has poor taste in men, but she's friendly enough."  
  
Nabiki snorted. "I heard about how she introduced herself to your class. Anyone who walks around with jugs like those and just shouts out that they're real is either a liar or a self-absorbed brat."  
  
Akane shrugged and laid back down on the grass. "Maybe Ranma can tell us after she gets a date with him. I'll bet that pervert will have his hands all over her."  
  
A long moment of silence passed, and Akane raised an eyebrow. "What? No snappy response or sarcastic logic?" she asked, cracking a smile as she turned her head to look at her sister.  
  
As it was, she only got to look at Nabiki's backside at the older girl walked away toward the school building stiffly.  
  
"Nabiki? Where are you going?" Akane blinked when she didn't get a response, and Nabiki kept walking.  
  
"Was it something I said?"  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"Whatta day," Ranma mumbled to himself, hands behind his head.  
  
He was currently resting on one of the sloped edges of the crater he had created, looking up at the sky.  
  
Ranma had never been particularly introspective or poetic, but he had always felt a sort of tranquility whenever he looked at the sky, day or night.  
  
'How many hours did I spend during my training, just looking at the sky?' Of course, quite often, he had simply been waiting for his body to regain motor functions after being smashed like a tangerine in a juicer, and the sky had simply been preferable to the ground.  
  
'Heh. Man, those were good times. It feels like so long since I've been through any serious training... I need to get a match with Tomas again. Real heavy stuff. The full package, with the power waves, burn knuckles, and-'  
  
"Hello!"  
  
"GYAH!!" Ranma rolled forward toward the center of the crater, and then flipped around to land in a ready crouch.  
  
He deflated only slightly when he saw Min grinning at him from the edge of the crater. "Great, it's the psycho Ninja girl..." he mumbled.  
  
Min's eyebrow twitched, but she pretended not to have heard Ranma's comment. "What are you doing out here, sitting around all alone?"  
  
Ranma shifted out of his stance and crossed his arms over his chest. "You just answered your own question."  
  
Min blinked.  
  
"Now my question is, what do ya think you're doing, sneakin' up on me like that?" He asked irritably.  
  
Min giggled and sat down on the slope of the crater, right next to where he had been before. "I just wanted to have lunch with you! Come on, sit down!"  
  
Ranma eyed the spot he was sitting before, then took a step back. "Yeah, right. And then you put a tanto in my back, right?"  
  
Min blinked rapidly, honestly shocked. "Wh-What? Why would I do that? Where would I even keep a tanto?" She asked seriously, gesturing to her dress. While the girl's school uniform did have a few pockets on the jacket, none of them were big enough to hold a full-size dagger.  
  
"I dunno, you're a Ninja! And you didn't have any problem hiding those fans when you were wearing that weird getup before!"  
  
Min blushed slightly. He had a point, but still... "Don't you think you're being just a tad bit paranoid?"  
  
Ranma glared at her. "Just 'cause I'm paranoid doesn't mean you're not out to get me. I heard about how you started asking about me all around the school after I beat you."  
  
Min blushed some more, then giggled lightly and patted the spot next to her again. "Oh, don't worry. I'm not an assassin, or a stalker." Then she paused, and gave Ranma a saucy half-lidded stare. "Unless that sort of thing turns you on."  
  
'Scary lady.' Ranma thought. "Riiiiiiiiiiight... Well, if you're not going to try and lodge a knife in the back of my head in revenge, then I'll just be on my way back to class now."  
  
Min sweatdropped as Ranma slowly started walking backward toward the school building, never taking his eyes off her. 'Well, at least I've captured his attention.' "Uh, class doesn't start for almost another half an hour."  
  
"I can wait," Ranma muttered, quickening his pace. Then he zipped around and sprinted toward the school building, rushing through the doors so quickly that he nearly knocked into a couple of girls trying to enter the school themselves.  
  
"Well, phooey. That was an unexpected reaction," Min muttered to herself, lying back on the slope of the crater, as Ranma had done before.  
  
'I must have patience,' she decided, staring up at the sky thoughtfully as she decided on her course of action. 'A Ninja sometimes has to stalk her prey for weeks and remove the obstacles to him one by one.' She smirked. 'All I need to do is stick close, and get him comfortable around me. Meanwhile, I cut that Ranko girl off of him.' Her smirk grew to a grin.  
  
'Still, I have to wonder... who told him that I was asking around for him?'  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"And I even heard that she asked Nabiki to set her up in a tutoring session with you!" Hana said, hugging her books against her chest in distress. "I'm sure she's up to something! Ninja are well known for striking out unexpectedly!"  
  
Ranma nodded to himself as he put some of his own books away in his locker. "You're probably right. Who knows how sore she is about losing that fight against me."  
  
"Hmph! Well, she deserved everything she got for challenging you!" Hana insisted.  
  
Ranma sweatdropped. "Well, yeah, I suppose. Thanks for the heads-up Hana, I appreciate it."  
  
The girl practically melted at the expression of thanks, and didn't even notice as Ranma turned and walked away.  
  
"Great, one more nutcase out to cut my throat," Ranma muttered irritably, making his way to the entrance. He really hadn't believed much of what Hana had proposed at first, as Min seemed far too blunt and passionate to try such subterfuge, but the girl was smart, and made some very good points.  
  
But that wasn't important now. 'I've gotta find some good training around here.'  
  
After even a short time back in Japan, living the life of the "average" teenager, Ranma was bored. Bored, and restless. Though he still practiced around his home, and Kuno helped him blow off some minor steam, Ranma had only found two good fights since coming to Nerima, and the battle against Min was so reluctant that Ranma wasn't even sure it counted.  
  
'Kuno's just cannon fodder, Ryoga isn't much, Min was pretty good, but I'm not sure I wanna fight her again... the only solid battle I could find was with Tomas.'  
  
Tomas Bogard. Now there was an opponent. Unyielding and flexible in combat, and a pretty friendly guy to boot.  
  
"I wonder if I can get Tomas to train with me some more?"  
  
"What's up?"  
  
Ranma blinked and turned as the American fighter stepped up behind him.  
  
"Oh, hey man. Uh... look, could you do me a favor?"  
  
Tomas raised and eyebrow. "There a problem?"  
  
"Well, kind of," Ranma said, scratching the back of his head, "look, I think Min might be trying to kill me. Do you think you could, you know, talk with her or something?"  
  
Tomas stared at him. "What?"  
  
Ranma frowned and decided to try again. The guy was an American, after all; he may still have trouble with Japanese. "Could you talk Min out of trying to kill me?" Ranma said slowly.  
  
Tomas scratched the top of his head. "Uh... I'll try, but I was under the impression that she didn't want to kill you."  
  
"Yeah, I know," Ranma muttered, "she doesn't make it obvious." Then his eyes narrowed. "Wait... you're not in on this too, are you?"  
  
Tomas sweatdropped. "No. Just chill, all right? I don't think Min holds that fight against you at all."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yeah, she took it surprisingly well, actually," Tomas had to fight a snicker as he spoke. He supposed that becoming hopelessly infatuated with the man who beat the tar out of you was a point toward being a good loser.  
  
"So, you're not going to try and beat me up?" Ranma asked cautiously. He really would have preferred to have Tomas on his side if he could. What with Nabiki betraying him and Ryoga turning into a revenge machine, Ranma didn't have much in the way of close friends.  
  
Tomas smiled and patted Ranma on the shoulder condescendingly. "No, I'm not going to try and beat you up."  
  
"Oh..." there was a moment of silence as Ranma decided that the other boy was sincere in his statement. "Sorry to bring it up, then. Wanna go fight?"  
  
"Sure!"  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Hana walked through the halls in high spirits, her eyes practically glowing as she stared up at the ceiling.  
  
'Oh Ranma... what a sweet, steamy, fiery hunk of a man!'  
  
She sighed happily, hugging her textbooks tight against her chest. Then her expression became more sullen.  
  
'But still, what chance do I really have to take him for myself? He's like the most popular guy in school, even if he doesn't really know it. He could have any girl he wanted, even that top-heavy flasher Min or that Chinese bimbo. Hell, he could probably have both of them.'  
  
Hana looked up as she reached the front door and pushed it open. 'Well, there is a chance. If I can just get close enough to him... but I can't do that on my own.'  
  
She smiled slightly as she adjusted her glasses, looking up at the clock tower on the side of the school. 'Luckily, I have all the help I'll ever need.'  
  
*Screeeech!* Students turned their heads in surprise as a motorcycle ripped through the main avenue in front of the school, weaving skillfully between cars at clearly unsafe speeds.  
  
*Ta-Toom!* The motorcycle hit the edge of the curb in front of Furinkan's gate, and the students that had never seen this particular figure before gaped as the man on the relatively large machine jumped it high into the air, swinging it parallel to the fence before slamming the ground on the other side hard, bringing himself to a stop.  
  
Some students stared in surprise and awe. Others rolled their eyes and moved on.  
  
Hana, for her part, raised an eyebrow and walked up to the lean, obviously male figure stepping off the motorcycle.  
  
"You're late."  
  
The man was almost six feet in height, tall for a Japanese man, and seemed unusually thin. A solid black helmet and visor obscured his face, and he had a black scarf wrapped around his neck and hanging off his right shoulder.  
  
"I got held up doing some work at St. Hebereke."  
  
Hana rolled her eyes. "Yeah, okay, fine. No big deal." She frowned. "Still don't have a spare helmet for me, do you?"  
  
"............." The man said nothing, and smoothly lifted the helmet off his head, revealing a sharp, angular face with a decidedly neutral expression; as if everything the man looked at was an obstacle being gauged for danger. With the helmet removed, it was also possible for Hiroshi to make out that the man's "black scarf" was actually his hair, bundled and wrapped once around his neck and over his shoulder.  
  
"Who the heck is that guy?" Hiroshi wondered aloud. Bringing a motorcycle past the school gates was expressly forbidden, and though one hardly had much to fear from the present faculty of Furinkan, there could be very painful consequences if one happened to hurt or bother the students; Hiroshi imagined that people like Kuno, Ranma, and any one of the other powerful fighters around the school would not appreciate being almost mowed down.  
  
Daisuke shrugged slightly as he thought over the few times he had seen the man before.  
  
"I think I heard someone say once that his name is 'Raven'. He picks up Keitoro sometimes after school. I don't really know anything else about him."  
  
"Do you think he's her boyfriend?" Hiroshi asked, keeping his eyes trained on the tall, intimidating figure.  
  
Daisuke snorted. "Doubt it. She's not going all googly-eyed and stuff. 'Sides, she's got the hots for Yagami."  
  
"True..."  
  
Hana sighed as she accepted the helmet. "You should really get another one, you know."  
  
"There's no need," Raven said, "You're the only reason I bring this one." He got back onto his bike.  
  
"Well, you should wear one yourself at all times!" Hana insisted, "Do you know how easy it is to get killed in a motorcycle accident?"  
  
"I don't get in accidents," he responded evenly.  
  
Hana groaned slightly as she slipped the helmet on, and then jumped onto the back of the motorcycle, sliding her books into a compartment on the back and wrapping her arms around Raven's waist. "Hey, does Hashiru have any plans for the St. Hebereke match?"  
  
"I don't believe he does yet," Raven replied as he turned his bike toward the school gates. "He was under the impression that Hebereke was poised to win by default again this year."  
  
*VrrRRM!!* Raven gunned the engine, and peeled out into the streets, sending students who hadn't already given the man a nice berth jumping to the side.  
  
"I assume you know otherwise?!" Hana shouted, trying to talk over the motorcycle's engine.  
  
"I do!" Raven shouted back, dipping the bike to the side to pull in front of a pickup truck. Hana gulped and hugged onto him a little tighter. "But I still doubt that your school's apparent resilience will be of any interest to Lord Hashiru! He may simply attend the match for the view!"  
  
Hana sweatdropped. It was true; Hashiru was quite the womanizer, and what man didn't like to watch two toned, athletic girls in leotards jump around in a ring throwing things at each other?  
  
'Hmmmm... maybe I can suggest something a little more intense?' Hana smiled and leaned into Raven as he started to pick up even more speed. 'Rhythmic gymnastics is all well and good, but some people would prefer a match that's not so... restricted. It's perfect!'  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"Power wave!"  
  
"Yami barai!"  
  
*Thrak!* The two waves of energy detonated on the ground as they cut into each other, and Ranma and Tomas took a moment to catch their breath before the closed the distance between them, each launching waves of punches at the other.  
  
*Pow!* *Thwack!* *Wham!*  
  
Ranma bent over backward as Tomas launched a haymaker at his chin, and then turned the unorthodox dodge into a vicious kick as he backflipped with his legs fully extended.  
  
"Go Ranma! Beat him up!" Yurumi cheered her brother on from the edge of the field, earning almost as many strange looks from passing spectators as did the two teenage brawlers.  
  
Tomas tucked into a ball and rolled backward, quickly getting some space before getting to his feet. "Nice kid."  
  
Ranma grinned. "That's my sis." Then he raised a fist above his head, and it burst into flame. "You wanna take a breather, or maybe I should go a little easier on you?"  
  
Tomas smirked. "Just keep trash talkin', pyro. I'm not through yet."  
  
"Come on Ranma! You can do it!"  
  
Ranma nodded slightly, inviting Tomas to attack. Tomas took a moment to adjust his cap, and then surged forward with a hammer fist, followed by a right hook.  
  
'It's amazing...' Tomas thought, as both attacks were calmly deflected. 'He really is just about unbeatable. His defense is incredible.' Tomas launched a snap kick, which connected with Ranma's shoulder far too easily to have been anything but intended. This was proven as Ranma shoved the other boy forward to knock him off-balance, and then grabbed Tomas by the jacket, before attempting a shoulder throw.  
  
'Even when I get a hit in, he just uses it as a moment to attack. Half the time I'm not sure he's letting me hit him.' Tomas didn't let himself be caught completely unaware, and managed to push himself off Ranma's back in mid-throw and flip to his feet.  
  
"Gouka dan!"  
  
Tomas dodged desperately as the firebomb streaked toward him, but still got caught in the edge of the detonation as the projectile exploded anyway, despite it not hitting anything.  
  
He rolled as he hit the ground, and the few flames that had scarred him were put out quickly.  
  
'That thing didn't touch me; he made it so it would explode at a set distance away from him! Yagami, you're a piece of work...'  
  
"Burn knuckle!" Ranma juked to the side as Tomas streaked past, and the pigtailed fighter immediately closed with his foe, hitting him with two light kicks and a hammer punch that was barely dodged.  
  
Tomas jabbed back, but Ranma twisted to the side and spun into a powerful roundhouse, slamming Tomas hard in the ribs and sending him rolling away.  
  
'It's weird,' Ranma thought, 'he's doing a little better than before as far as his regular technique, but I haven't seen him pull out any real heavy stuff.'  
  
"Crack shoot!" Tomas whipped through the air with his somersault kick, and pegged Ranma hard on the shoulder before kicking the pigtailed boy just as hard in the stomach.  
  
Ranma took the hit with barely a grunt and then brought both his hands together in front of him as he dashed forward toward Tomas. "Kaen kito !" The flames burst into a large sphere, and Tomas was blasted backward from the reaction.  
  
Tomas would have sighed, were he able to spare the breath, as he once again found himself rolling across the grass. 'Well, there's a new move. I'm not gonna last much longer if I don't do something fast.'  
  
Tomas moved into a handstand, then pushed off the ground and into the air, twisting his body around so that he landed in a crouch.  
  
"Come on Ranma! He's almost down!"  
  
Ranma sweatdropped. "You're getting a little too much into this, don't you think Yurumi?"  
  
"Aw, let her have her fun," Tomas said, smirking. Then his stance shifted slightly. 'I'm only going to get one shot at this... I have to time it just right, so that he doesn't have time to dodge. I've never been able to control this technique easily, even when I manage to pull it out right.'  
  
Ranma waited as Tomas shifted his body so that Ranma was looking at the boy's profile. 'What's that clown trying to pull now?'  
  
Tomas's form shook slightly, and his aura manifested visibly, quickly growing to superhuman levels as the young Bogard was swathed in red light.  
  
'Now!'  
  
'He's going for it!'  
  
Tomas took off like a bullet, moving at the fastest speed he was capable of outside of his burn knuckle technique. He knew that it would cause most fighters to clear the way, but Ranma... Ranma didn't like to be predictable, and slightly favored doing things the hard way.  
  
'Go for the block, go for the block, go for the block...' Tomas chanted inside his head as he approached at high speed, blurred afterimages beginning to stretch out behind him.  
  
Ranma moved one arm to block and the other to attack. Likely for one of his fire punches, Tomas decided. It didn't matter.  
  
"AURORA FANG!!"  
  
"The hell-URGHK!!"  
  
Yurumi gasped from her position on the sidewalk as Tomas sliced into Ranma's block with a fearsome uppercut, forming a red energy wave like a hooked fang that knocked Ranma backward and off-balance.  
  
Then Tomas's other fist lit up like an ambulance light, and he finished the technique.  
  
*TH-KRAAACK!!!* Tomas's right fist formed a red energy lance like a spear that smashed directly into Ranma's solar plexus, denying the pigtailed boy any chance to recover from the first stage of the heavy combo. Dirt blasted from the punch's path like water in the wake of a speedboat, and Yurumi almost fell backward as the pressure shock wave reached her a good fifteen meters away.  
  
"RANMA!!!"  
  
Tomas winced as he heard Yurumi scream her brother's name. He wished she didn't have to see that. This was supposed to be a friendly match, no ill intentions or grudges, but people that weren't street fighters of the same ilk rarely understood that.  
  
Well, okay, fine, maybe that had been a little rough for a friendly match, but he doubted that Ranma had held back any hard-hitters for his sake.  
  
It was about then that the buzzing in his ears began to die down and the pain in his right arm made itself known. The aurora fang was a technique that essentially used all his energy for a two-hit super combo that could pierce any standing defense. The problem was that the output was so vast and uncontrollable that the shock of hitting the target (though not 1/100 as bad as the shock of the target) totally disoriented him, and hurt his arm something fierce.  
  
"Heh... let's see ya get up from that." Tomas grinned as he saw Ranma twitch, and then try to do exactly as he had suggested.  
  
The weird thing was, he was succeeding.  
  
Ranma's entire body trembled and threatened to buckle at any moment as he forced himself to his feet. His mind was awhirl in a mix of pain and adrenaline. His body felt like it had played chicken with a bullet train and lost. His vision was blurry, and he was sure that as soon as he gained the strength, he would start spewing up blood.  
  
'That was AWESOME!!' He thought, his excitement piercing the fog of agony.  
  
"Ranma! Are you all right?! Speak to me!" Yurumi begged, trying to help support Ranma's not-inconsiderable weight.  
  
Ranma doubled over as soon as he stood up, and Yurumi had to hold her own stomach as he threw up a mix of vile-looking sludge onto the grass in front of him.  
  
"Ranma! Be careful! Here, we can get you to a hospital, and-"  
  
"Nothin' doin'." Ranma spat, moving off of Yurumi and standing off to the side to face Tomas. "I'm not gonna lose!"  
  
Tomas shook his head. "Look dude, I already hit you harder than I should have. It's all right, you can-"  
  
"I'm not down, the fight's not over!" Ranma shouted, and then quickly shut his mouth as a shudder nearly tossed his stomach up his throat.  
  
Tomas sighed. "Damn, but you're persistent. All right, then I'll finish-"  
  
*Thwack!*  
  
Whether it was the exhaustion from using his new technique or simply his intent focus on Ranma, Tomas didn't realize he was being attacked until the round head of the bonbori had already collided with his head.  
  
"Wh-What in the-" *Wham!* A second strike hit him in the stomach, and he was left completely open to the following roundhouse, which threw him up in the air.  
  
"You leave Ranma ALONE!!" Shampoo punctuated the last word by rushing in and slamming Tomas down in mid-air with her weapon, and the hapless street fighter was left dazed and hurt on the ground as the Amazon girl turned her attention on Ranma.  
  
"Ranma! Is you okay?"  
  
Ranma blinked. "Shampoo? Where did you come from?"  
  
Before he knew what happening, Shampoo was picking him up off the ground and holding him in her arms. "Hey! What're you doin'?!"  
  
Shampoo ignored Ranma and turned to Yurumi. "You know where doctor is?"  
  
Yurumi nodded. "Yeah, Dr. Tofu's office is a short run that way!"  
  
"What's the deal?! This was my fight! Put me down!"  
  
Shampoo nodded. "I go run ahead, okay? You meet there as quick as can!"  
  
Without waiting for Yurumi to concur, Shampoo took off at top speed, Ranma still complaining in her arms.  
  
Just a moment after that, Yurumi ran in the same direction, trying to keep out of the path of dust that Shampoo kicked up in her wake.  
  
Tomas groaned and lifted his head. "Hello? Anybody there? Ranma? Yurumi? Could someone give me a hand?"  
  
After receiving no answer, he dropped his head back onto the grass. "Dammit. This sucks. At least the aurora fang works, though."  
  
He grinned. "Even more powerful than the trial runs, too! This time Yagami's going to have to keep up with ME! Heh."  
  
Tomas started to get up, but his stomach lurched as a result and he immediately fell back down.  
  
"Man, can that Chinese girl hit! ......... I wonder who she is, exactly. I've seen her before, but I've never caught her name."  
  
"Who's name?"  
  
Tomas blinked, then twisted his head around from his position on his back. "Hi Min."  
  
"Hello," Min said, frowning. "Burns and large impact wounds. You were fighting Ranma again, weren't you?"  
  
Tomas grinned. "Yup. You should have seen him when we done though." He stopped grinning and rethought that. "Actually, it's best that you didn't. You'd probably be mad at me."  
  
Min snorted. "Uh huh. Right. So did you manage to muss up his hair, or what?"  
  
Tomas looked indignant. "I'll have you know I whooped his ass! Ranma was barely able to stand!"  
  
Min's eyes widened, as if a sudden revelation had overcome her. "Of course! Why couldn't I see it! That explains why you're lying on your back, broken and beaten, in the middle of a grassy field perfectly!"  
  
Tomas's left eye twitched. "I beat him! I did! It's just that the Chinese girl-"  
  
"Yeah, okay, whatever," Min interrupted, yanking him to his feet. "If you don't want to admit it, fine. Though I thought you were a better loser than this."  
  
"I beat him! I swear!"  
  
"Can you walk, or do you need to lean on me?"  
  
"AAARGH!!"  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"We're here," Raven said simply, slowing down his bike to normal driving speeds as he approached the school gates.  
  
Hana twitched, and finally forced her arms from where they had become locked around Raven's torso. "I think we just made a new landspeed record..."  
  
Raven didn't answer, and slowed further as he approached the gates. Unlike Furinkan's, these were electronically controlled crosshatch gates, and a motor began to grind as soon as Raven approached.  
  
Next to the gates was a bronze plate that said "Akumaru Private School".  
  
As Raven rolled his motorcycle into the front yard of the school, a bell rung, signaling the end of the school day.  
  
Students immediately began to pour out of the several buildings around the campus and swarm toward the front gates. At least, until they saw who was coming from the gates.  
  
It was a well-known rule that motorcycles were most definitely not allowed on school grounds, with the exception of the parking lots. It was also well known that for certain people, this rule did not apply.  
  
Hana smirked slightly as the teenagers parted in front of the bike, giving Raven a wide berth. She had seen it before many times, but it never failed to amuse her.  
  
Raven slowed his bike as he reached the concrete steps at the front of the administration building, and carefully held the machine upright with his leg as Hana dismounted.  
  
"Lord Hashiru is in the student council hall, I believe."  
  
Hana nodded and entered the administration building, Raven following swiftly.  
  
The few faculty members that were wandering the halls of the building rather than closing up their classrooms all cast occasional respectful glances at the two teenagers before scurrying along, not wanting to be involved in whatever was brewing.  
  
Soon they reached the door to the student faculty lounge, and Hana pushed forward and shoved the double-doors open, as if to charge in angrily.  
  
*Wham!* Each of the doors slammed against the attached wall, and at once a dozen eyes all darted toward Hana with cautious hostility.  
  
Then she smiled, and the glares immediately melted as the room's occupants saw who it was.  
  
"Hi everyone! How are we all doing?" There were several sweatdrops around the room as she entered without a care, though all the hostility had vanished.  
  
Raven entered the room far more cautiously than Hana did. Not that the room contained anyone that he didn't consider a friend, but it had become what he decided was a worthwhile habit over the years. Sitting all around the lavish and extravagantly over-decorated lounge was a collection of muscled men and the occasional woman that ranged from stereotypical dirty street punks to people dressed in expensive suits and dresses. Almost all were armed in some manner, and from the snacks and sodas arrayed across the main meeting table (a polished hardwood piece that had most definitely NOT been intended for such casual use), were having one of their typical after-school party sessions.  
  
Typically, this particular gang met in the finer lounges around the campus, such as that of the student council. Their activities usually consisted of light martial arts exercise, video games, and even studying, but every once in a while a real meeting needed to be held.  
  
"Hello sister. You've arrived later than expected. Has the Ninja finally conceived the notion of the 'speed limit'?"  
  
Hana grinned as she turned to face the man next to the entrance. He was tall for a Japanese man, with shoulder-length brown hair, and an appearance that implied that he had either been brought up in a high-class English household, or had watched far too many episodes of Frasier. He even now wore an expensive long coat, complete with the puffy lace in the collar, a polished black cane, and even a monocle over his left eye.  
  
"Hi Joshin. Raven was a little late picking me up at Furinkan today, that's all. How are your classes?"  
  
Joshin sighed, one hand in his pocket. "As well as can be expected, I'm afraid. The philistine bores that have the audacity to call themselves my instructors continue to waste away my life with their infantile drivel."  
  
"Well, at least they haven't hurt your ego yet," Raven said with a perfectly straight face.  
  
As Joshin stuttered up a retort, Hana moved past the two toward the back of the student council meeting room.  
  
Very few people at Furinkan knew about her involvement with Akumaru Private School, and even fewer knew the extent of it. Even Nabiki Tendo, the expensive wellspring of secret and private information, had completely overlooked her.  
  
Akumaru was remarkable for two reasons: It had a reputation for civil order and discipline, which was ironic, as the only other peculiarity was that a street gang essentially ran the entire school.  
  
Hana rolled her eyes as she approached a man in a large padded chair cuddling with a busty college girl whom Hana immediately dubbed "this week's blonde". The man was very muscular, with a large, broad-shouldered frame and hardened washboard stomach that was easily noticeable under the tight black T-shirt he wore. He had long , unruly blond hair that hid his eyes, and a sharp, attractive face that probably would have given Hana a few steamy daydreams if the man hadn't been her cousin.  
  
"Hey squirt, what's up?" Hashiru Yamazaki grinned at the mousy brunette as she approached while giving him her usual "you womanizing slimeball" look.  
  
"Hello Hashiru. So who's this? It hasn't even been two days since I last saw you." Hana raised an eyebrow at the man, ignoring the sudden challenging look that the blonde was giving her.  
  
Hashiru pushed himself up slightly, moving his current lover into a position that wasn't quite as visibly arousing. "This is Kikia Jiyahama. Kikia, meet Hana Keitoro."  
  
Kikia frowned at the girl. "Nice to meet you. And how do you know Hashiru?"  
  
Hashiru had to keep from snickering. "Don't worry about it babe. She's just... well, she's like my secretary."  
  
Kikia blinked. "But I thought I was your secretary."  
  
"Uh..." Hashiru scratched his chin in thought. "My platonic secretary, I guess."  
  
Hana rolled her eyes and fished a folded-up piece of paper out of her pocket. "Really, I like to think of myself as Hashiru's assistant. And you don't have to worry about me and him; even if he wasn't my cousin, I'd never let this gigolo touch me."  
  
Hashiru twitched. "Well gee, aren't we fickle all of a sudden. You still hounding that new kid?"  
  
Hana blushed and glared hard at the gang leader. "I'm not 'hounding' anyone! I'm just trying to build an actual relationship rather than just pushing for sex! But then, you wouldn't know the first thing about that, now would you?"  
  
Kikia blinked in surprise to hear someone speaking out against Hashiru so openly and harshly, and then gaped as Hashiru simply glared back, apparently powerless to put down the girl's attitude.  
  
She was just about to suggest something harsh when she felt something tap her shoulder. Turning around, the girl saw that Joshin and Raven were standing behind her.  
  
"I do hope you'll excuse our rudeness, but the issues we are about to discuss now are of a proprietary matter, and we will need Hashiru to be able to devote his full attention to the issues at hand."  
  
Kikia blinked as Joshin nodded to her, but didn't move.  
  
Raven cleared his throat. "He just told you to leave."  
  
"Oh! Uh... okay..." Kikia uncertainly walked from the room, still casting uneasy glances at Hana.  
  
"Hey! I don't go around telling you how to act!" Hashiru complained, leaning back in his chair.  
  
Hana almost laughed out loud. "That'd be like a fish giving flying lessons to a bird. The only advice you could offer me is how to fight, and I'm not interested in that."  
  
"That's not the only advice," he protested quietly, "I could also pick out clothes for you that'll get guys to ask you for dates rather than homework answers."  
  
"Oh, don't even go there!" Hana shouted irritably.  
  
Hana massaged her forehead as she tried to recall exactly what it was that she was planning to tell her "boss". Hashiru always had a way of getting under her skin, but in the same vein, she did the exact same thing to him. Everybody that really knew them knew that it was mostly an exercise of habit; she adored her cousin, even if his father was the most vile excuse for a human on the face of the planet, and he adored her even more, despite whatever he had to say about her constant nagging.  
  
"Alright Hashi, you want to know the latest from the rumor mill or what?"  
  
Hashiru straightened and became a little more serious as the playfully irritated atmosphere evaporated. "All right, shoot."  
  
"You know about St. Hebereke's undefeated status as far as the martial arts rhythmic gymnastics tournaments, right?"  
  
Hashiru nodded. "Who doesn't? Hard to lose when nobody can fight you." Akumaru would have provided a difficult challenge in that arena (given that Hashiru actually had the resources to protect the school's athletes), but maintained a college-level team that didn't enter the same tournaments as the high schools.  
  
"Right. Well, this time it looks like they messed up; Furinkan has a substitute coming in, and she hasn't been taken out yet. While there's still time before the tournament, it looks like Furinkan might actually make it to the ring this time."  
  
Hashiru nodded. "Okay. Good for you. Joshin, could you get me a seat for that match?"  
  
"Of course, Lord Hashiru," Joshin said, bowing far deeper than was necessary, as usual.  
  
*Ahem* Hana cleared her throat, then handed Hashiru a file. "There's something else I've got for you. Remember how I said that new guy looked like a good fighter? Everything I've seen so far indicates he's even better than I had hoped. Ranma Yagami would be a definite asset to us."  
  
Hashiru smirked as he took the papers. "So this is your boy toy, eh? He's a looker, all right."  
  
Hana twitched and blushed. "Well... yes... you can say that. Anyway, I have an idea. Ranma has pretty much come out on top as the best fighter at Furinkan High, easily topping Akane and Kuno, the old favorites-"  
  
Hashiru snorted. Kuno was nothing but a joke to him, and worse, an arrogant, stupid joke with a superiority complex. Akane, by all descriptions, was likewise a pretty pitiful fighter, and also had this sort of feminazi deal going on that Hashiru found a major turn-off.  
  
"-and coming out victorious over Tomas and Min Bogard, two recent addition's to the Furinkan campus."  
  
Hashiru smiled at that. "Ah, yes. The Bogards. They have quite a reputation, don't they?"  
  
Hana held her silence, waiting for Hashiru to ask her to continue. The reason was because the only affiliation Hashiru had with the Bogards was that his father used to fight them in the old King of Fighters tournaments. And anything that involved Hashiru's father demanded excessive tact and caution.  
  
Ryuji Yamazaki was a terrible, corrupt man who had left his fiancee before Hashiru himself had been born, taking a good portion of his fiancee's father's money and property with him. Hashiru himself demanded that everyone call him by his first name rather than his family name, and said he actually only kept the surname Yamazaki as a mark of shame for who his father was and what the man had done. Hana didn't pretend to understand it, but she pitied him for it.  
  
Finally, Hashiru looked up at her. "So, what do you have in mind for our boy Yagami?"  
  
Hana smiled. "I suggest we try and one-up the St. Hebereke tournament this week."  
  
The others looked at her.  
  
"Rhythmic gymnastics is all well and good, but some people prefer some action that's a little bit more... raw, you know?"  
  
Hashiru grinned suddenly. "I see where you're coming from. Pair up the rhythmic tourney with a small martial arts lineup."  
  
Hana nodded. "Right. That way you can check out Yagami for yourself, and convince him to work for you or whatever."  
  
Hashiru nodded. "Flashy... conceited... violent... entertaining... sounds like fun!" He turned to Joshin. "How do you suppose we go about that?"  
  
Joshin scratched his chin for a moment, and then nodded to himself, adjusting his monocle as he responded. "Well, obviously we have two choices; either to attempt to subjugate or manipulate St. Hebereke into allowing a cross-school challenge on their campus right after one of their most important events..."  
  
Hana frowned. He sure didn't make it sound simple.  
  
"... Or, we could just ascertain the challenge ahead of time with Yagami, move everyone in while the gymnastics match is taking place, and then hijack the stage once it's over."  
  
Hashiru clapped his hands and then pointed at Joshin. "I like that. We'll do the second one."  
  
Raven sweatdropped. "Lord Hashiru, would it not be simpler to hold a separate match here, or perhaps at Furinkan?"  
  
Hashiru shook his head, his long blond hair falling all about his shoulders. "Lacks flair, old buddy. 'Sides, the best way to get on someone's good side is to feed their ego a little bit. Winning a match on the soccer field of another school is nothing when you can beat somebody up in front of a big audience. Especially one composed of an all-girl school's student body." He grinned.  
  
"I see..." Raven mumbled. "Well then, that brings me to my other question. Will it be me and Joshin that Yagami will be 'beating up'?"  
  
Hashiru smiled and patted the other man on the shoulder. "Hey, don't worry; I'm sure you'll do fine. He can't be that tough, right?"  
  
Everyone else sweatdropped.  
  
"Anyway," Hashiru continued, "I want you to cover the substitute's house, Raven. If we're gonna pull this off, I don't want Hebereke's team messing around with 'our' players."  
  
Raven bowed. "Of course, Lord Hashiru."  
  
Hashiru gave the part-time Ninja, part-time college student a grateful nod, then walked up to the window, his left hand in his pocket. Most people that met him quickly picked up that he had his left hand in his pocket a lot, and dismissed it as an obsessive-compulsive thing, or a nervous habit. Most people never learned otherwise.  
  
His shoulder twitched, and Hashiru brought his left hand up out of his pocket, smirking as it glowed with a light blue aura. "My hand itches. I'm gettin' a good feeling about this Yagami kid."  
  
Hana smiled. "I don't think he'll disappoint you there. He seems just about unstoppable."  
  
Hashiru's smirk turned into a grin. "People say the same about me. Let the games begin."  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"Ouch!" Ranma flinched as Shampoo pressed another bandage against his chest, and glared at the busty Amazon making such a fuss over him. "Would you knock it off? I didn't ask for no help, you know! I could have beaten Tomas!"  
  
Shampoo, Yurumi, and Dr. Tofu all ignored him, just as they had been doing since Shampoo had dragged him into the observation room.  
  
"Is he going to be okay?" Yurumi asked worriedly. She hadn't seen many of Ranma's fights before, but then, the only time she had seen Ranma that badly hurt was when she herself had lost control of her powers and blasted him. How could that American boy be so mean?  
  
"Ranma be just fine," Shampoo asserted, feeling up Ranma's ribs to search for any serious fractures, and enjoying every minute of it even as she worried over him. "Ranma very strong. Take any hit and get back up!"  
  
"Which is exactly the type of attitude that leaves him in this condition," Dr. Tofu sighed, shaking his head. Since Shampoo enthusiastically volunteered to tend Ranma's wounds, and was apparently very adept at it, the good doctor had settled for analyzing Ranma's wounds and taking note of any longer-term damage that the boy may have sustained.  
  
"Hey, don't feel you've gotta gimme a lecture on how to win my fights, doc!" Ranma growled. "If this is a big bother to ya, then just lemme outta here!"  
  
Ranma bristled as Dr. Tofu simply pretended he hadn't said anything, turning to Yurumi.  
  
"So where did you say Bogard hit?"  
  
"Well, the first hit cut across his arms, 'cause he was blocking. Like this," Yurumi made a vague uppercut motion with her arm, and Dr. Tofu nodded.  
  
"Right. The lacerations and burns on his wrists are minor. With a constitution like Ranma's, I doubt they're even worth treating. What came after that?"  
  
"Then Tomas punched forward, and it created this really big explosion that hit Ranma in the stomach!"  
  
"The aurora fang," Ranma supplied irritably, "it was actually pretty cool. Ow! Be more careful, wouldja Shampoo?!"  
  
Tofu nodded. "I see... Ranma, I'll leave the character of this Bogard kid for you to judge, but if you were anywhere close to the level of a 'normal' fighter, that attack would have easily killed you."  
  
Much to the good doctor's distress, Ranma smiled in response. "Well, yeah. Like you said, that's just the level we're at. I don't hold nothing back, and he don't either."  
  
Doctor Tofu sighed. "Right. Fine. I'm not going to try and tell you to tone down your fights; I've heard of what you're capable of and I'm smarter than that. But here you've suffered what would be generally considered serious internal injuries. Four of your ribs have minor fractures, and the best way that I could describe the inside of your abdomen right now would be 'a bloody mess'."  
  
Ranma cracked a disturbing smile. "And all from a single technique, huh?" He grinned and chuckled. "Heh heh... Tomas, you are the man! I gotta think up an attack like that!"  
  
Everyone else in the room sweatdropped.  
  
"Ranma... don't you think that you should stop fighting that guy? You could get hurt!" Yurumi said cautiously. She knew Ranma didn't want to think of the match as a loss, but that was obviously what it was. A loss with some nasty injuries left over, too.  
  
Ranma just rolled his eyes. "Sis, I know you don't really understand it, but that's sort of the point. Tomas didn't mean any harm... well, I mean, he did, but not 'cause he has anything against me or nothin', but just for fun." Judging from Yurumi's utterly perplexed expression, he didn't do a brilliant job of explaining it.  
  
Dr. Tofu tapped Ranma on the shoulder to get the boy's attention. "Be that as it may, I'm prescribing you something to try and keep your intestines in one piece while your abdomen heals. Your ribs will also need some time to recover. I recommend that you avoid strenuous physical activity for at least two weeks."  
  
The doctor almost groaned audibly as Ranma gave him his best "get a clue, you nimrod" stare.  
  
"Two weeks? Feh. If I give Bogard two weeks to push the advantage he already has on me, he'll be beating me down forever. I can't afford it, doc."  
  
"But didn't he only beat you because he used a technique you had never seen before?" Yurumi asked, recalling the fight.  
  
"That's beside the point," Ranma said, sliding off the examination table to his feet. "I've got to get training immediately."  
  
"Ranma, please," Doctor Tofu pleaded miserably, "at least wait a week before you get in another fight of that magnitude. Your entire torso has been severely weakened by the shock of the impact. Just give it a weak to strengthen up a little bit." In truth, Tofu had surmised that it would only take a week to heal fully, but had guessed that Ranma would try and push it and had thus padded his estimate.  
  
"Hmph. A week." Ranma scratched at his bandages. "Well, I guess that's not too bad. But after that, I'm not promising nothin'! I've gotta get it together before I lose my edge!"  
  
Shampoo smiled and squeezed Ranma's shoulders gently from behind. "Ranma not worry. Ranma do very well, and get better soon!"  
  
"Yeah! Thanks for the help, Shampoo. You wanna go get something to eat? My treat."  
  
"Aiyah! Is okay, Shampoo will make Ranma too, too delicious meal!"  
  
Yurumi sweatdropped as Shampoo pushed Ranma out of the examination room.  
  
Then she turned toward Doctor Tofu. "Do you really think he'll stay out of fights for a week?"  
  
Tofu snorted and pushed up his glasses. "Please. I'm an MD. Do I LOOK like an idiot?"  
  
"Hm," Yurumi scratched her head in embarrassment as she looked out the door. "Do you really think it's okay though? To let him fight like this? I mean, Ranma's real strong, and has Daddy's flame powers, but I worry about him sometimes."  
  
Doctor Tofu stared down at the little girl for a moment, then slowly turned toward his bookcase. "Tell me, Yurumi, how much do you know about your father's... flame powers?"  
  
"Eh?" Yurumi was caught off-guard by the question, and scratched her head. "I... well... I don't really know much about them at all. I mean, I can use them, and Ranma can use them, and so can Daddy, but other people can't. Like Mom."  
  
Tofu nodded as he scanned his books. "Of course. Yurumi, the first time I met Ranma I saw him use his powers to deactivate his curse. When I heard the name 'Yagami', I was sure I had heard the name before. I searched through some of my texts, and came upon this."  
  
The doctor pulled out a short, fat book in the center of a line of older, more cryptic tomes, and Yurumi noted that it had a manila folder serving a bookmark. Tofu took the folder out of book, laying it open on the examination table to keep the marked page. Then he opened the folder, revealing several photographs and newspaper clippings.  
  
Yurumi blinked. "It's Daddy! Hey, who's that guy he's fighting?"  
  
Dr. Tofu sighed. The largest picture had a black-and-white newspaper photo of two figures striking each other, awash in light and dark flames. While Yurumi immediately recognized the man in the moon-emblem jacket as her father, she had no idea who the other man was. He was a little shorter than Iori, with darker hair, and wore a jacket with a sun on the back, along with two arm bracers with the same emblem.  
  
"When I was still training as a martial artist and essentially deciding whether to devote the rest of my life to fighting or healing, I met up with Kyo Kusanagi at a small street-fighting bout. He was really what pushed me to concentrate my energy on medicine, namely because he beat me badly enough to kill my inflated ego so that I could make a rational decision. I don't recall exactly what it was about him, or me, but the two of us maintained an unusually resilient friendship after that."  
  
"Over the years, Kyo called upon me several times to help me keep him in top form when he got a little in over his head during his battles. Then one day, I got a call from one of my colleagues asking me to attend to him. When I'd arrived, I found Kyo beaten nearly to the point of permanent injury, but with enough work, Kyo recovered completely. You see, Kyo had, for the first time, faced your father."  
  
Yurumi gasped in surprise. "D-Daddy almost killed him?"  
  
Doctor Tofu decided it was best if he didn't reveal that Iori's intention had been to kill Kyo. After all, he was toeing the line as far as intervention in someone's private life as it was, and besides, from all accounts Iori was a changed man now.  
  
"Actually, your father lost the battle, but just barely. In any case, I had a few more such calls, but more importantly, one day I got a call from Kyo asking me to do some research for him. It was after a man named Rugal Bernstein was defeated for the second time he hosted the King of Fighters tournament, and apparently some questions had arisen that Kyo wanted some answers to. I set off immediately to search for them."  
  
"Wait," Yurumi interrupted, eager to get to the meat of the story, "answers to what?"  
  
"Mostly to the Yagamis' power," Tofu admitted, adjusting his glasses. "Eventually, after obtaining several of Bernstein's personal files and trying to dodge his son as he swept in to take control of his father's criminal empire, I found this book, that detailed the root of the Yagami clan's power, as well as the events surrounding the clan's feud with the Kusanagi clan. How much do you know about the legend of the Orochi?"  
  
Yurumi blinked at being suddenly asked a question. "Well, everyone knows the story about the Orochi and the Kushinada princesses!"  
  
Doctor Tofu gave a somewhat morbid smirk. "Of course. Well, predictably, the real story isn't nearly as romantic as the common fable. The short of it is that several clans of warriors banded together to defeat Orochi, a god of chaos and destruction, and managed to seal him away. These clans included the Kusanagi clan, and the clan that is known today as Yagami."  
  
"'Known today'?"  
  
"Right," Tofu confirmed, "your family has a very extensive and elaborate history, but its roots, which unfortunately outdate any of the information I could find, are based in a different clan. You see, though all the warrior clans fought bravely and lost many good men to defeat Orochi, the Kusanagi clan, in their vanity, took most of the credit and rewards for themselves. The Yagami clan was formed when the jealous warriors of one of the forgotten clans used the sealed Orochi to strengthen their powers, while making sure to preserve the actual seal itself. In effect, it made the Yagami clan very powerful, but tainted their spirits, turning their warriors' flames a dark violet and shaving decades off their lifespan."  
  
Looking up at his guest, Tofu could see that Yurumi was frightened at what he was saying, but also intrigued. He had to hurry and get to the point.  
  
"By the time I reached Kyo with everything I'd learned, I'd found that he had already learned everything that I had, and more. Moreover, he had actually faced Orochi, beaten him, and strengthened the seal. This event had not only apparently softened-slightly, at least-the bloody feud between Kyo and Iori, but also cured the last remaining members of the Yagami clan of the affliction that cut their lives short." He glanced at Yurumi. "At least, last I heard, your father was in good health. Is he?"  
  
Yurumi blinked rapidly, startled out of trying to digest everything that was being told. "Uh? Oh! Yes, yes he is!"  
  
Tofu smiled gently. "Good. I suspect he'll live to a ripe old age, then."  
  
Yurumi nodded cautiously. The girl wasn't freaking out, but was still quite perturbed. "Uhm... okay... so... why are you telling me all this?"  
  
Tofu sighed and then picked up the folder of newspaper clippings, flipping through the photographs in front of him. "After I met Ranma, I soon remembered about all this, and looked back in my records to see if there was anything concerning his... abilities that I should know about. After looking back through the data I had collected, I thought that I was worrying over nothing. At least, until I saw this."  
  
Doctor Tofu flipped a newspaper article around in his hand so that Yurumi could see the picture on the front.  
  
She blinked in surprise, then stared. Then she squinted, and tilted her head to one side.  
  
"I don't get it. Is that 'The Human Torch' from that dumb American comic book?"  
  
Doctor Tofu sweatdropped. "No. That would be an artist's best guess at a rampaging Yagami clansman."  
  
Yurumi's eyes widened. "A... A rampaging Ya-Yagami..."  
  
Tofu gently took the girl by the shoulders, and held her at arms' length as he looked into her eyes. "Yurumi, I'm not going to pretend I understand what you or your brother or anyone in your family is going through, and I'm not going to try and interfere personally. But it's entirely possible that Ranma is grappling with a power greater than any of us realize, and he may not be able to do it alone."  
  
Yurumi gulped. "You... You're not talking about Tomas, are you?"  
  
Tofu raised an eyebrow. "What Bogard did was impressive, that's all. I'd seek him out to reprimand him for his actions, except that I understand Ranma's friendly rivalry with the boy, and in light of certain things, this new technique of his isn't so dangerous as you might think."  
  
Yurumi grimaced at that. Not dangerous? That attack could have ripped apart a pickup truck!  
  
"I suspect that Ranma's capable of more damage than that. Much more. All I'm saying is that Ranma might need help, even if he'll never admit it. Maybe not from you or me, but-"  
  
"I understand!" Yurumi said suddenly, startling the doctor out of his monologue.  
  
Tofu blinked as he looked at the determination in Yurumi's eyes.  
  
"Mister Tofu, I... I know exactly what you're talking about!"  
  
"You... You do?" Tofu asked, perplexed. At best, he had expected the girl to agree to everything he said just so that she could leave.  
  
"Yes! I... Up until now, I've had trouble controlling my own powers, and I never knew what it was that was causing it! Now I understand everything!"  
  
"You understand... everything?" Tofu inquired. Even he didn't really understand what was happening, and he had been under the impression that he was the one informing Yurumi.  
  
Yurumi nodded happily. "Hm! But now I have to help Ranma! He can be so strong all the time, but you're right! He doesn't know what's happening to him! He needs my help!"  
  
"We-Well, I don't really know if you can-"  
  
He stopped talking as the redheaded girl darted forward for a quick hug of gratitude. "Thank you so much, Mister Tofu!"  
  
"Urm... you're welcome... and it's Doctor Tofu." He looked down at the little girl strangely as she separated from him, unsure as to whether he should have revealed as much as he did.  
  
"Okay! Goodbye Mister Tofu! Thank you for helping Ranma!" Yurumi dashed out the clinic as fast as she could, running home. She had some very important questions for her father.  
  
Doctor Tofu stared at the door to the reception office, and scratched his head. "Hmmm... perhaps I should have told Ranma instead..."  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Nodoka turned away from her book and blinked as her husband finally entered the room, looking rather sleepy and annoyed.  
  
"Well, you're up late, aren't you?" She said, raising an eyebrow.  
  
Iori stifled a yawn and shrugged. "Ranma started grilling me on using his flames for some reason, and I had to grill him to find out why he looked like he had been hit by a semi. Looks like that Bogard kid's got a step up on his father."  
  
Iori took off his jacket, and then started undoing his undershirt. "I would've gone upstairs then, but Yurumi came down from her room and started asking me about the history of Yagami clan. I still don't know why."  
  
Iori folded up his shirt and placed it on the floor next to the nightstand. "So, when did you tell Yurumi about the Orochi and the Yagami clan, anyway?"  
  
"I didn't," Nodoka answered honestly, placing a marker in her book and sitting up to face her husband.  
  
Iori stopped in removing his pants, and turned his head toward Nodoka. His face hadn't changed much, but Nodoka could read it as a frown. "So who told her about it? She even mentioned Kusanagi when she was asking me about my power."  
  
Nodoka shrugged. "Perhaps Ranma told her. I really think it's best that she knows, anyway. I would have told her myself, except that I don't know the story nearly as well as you do."  
  
Iori grunted and finished removing his pants before falling heavily into bed. "I don't mind that she knows. I just wish that she could have found a better time to bring it up."  
  
Iori sighed and turned toward the edge of the bed. "Good night."  
  
Then he moved to turn off the lamp on the nightstand, only to have his hand intercepted by Nodoka's.  
  
"Oh come now, dear. You don't think I waited this long for you to come to bed just to hear you snore, do you?" She smiled in that subtly seductive way, and Iori suddenly knew that whatever chances he still had for a good night's sleep had just gone out the window.  
  
Nodoka was just starting to cuddle up to her husband, when the sudden roar of a motorcycle engine pierced the walls of the house, causing her to wince at the noise.  
  
Clicking her tongue, she glanced at the window as a bright headlight sped down the street, momentarily bathing the room in light even through the blinds. "Hmph. What is wrong with parents today, letting their children ride around on those horrid machines at this hour? The racket is inexcusable! Right dear?"  
  
"Zzzzzzz..."  
  
Nodoka blinked, then turned and realized that Iori was already fast asleep, even with the nightstand light on, plus the noise outside. "Iori? Are you asleep already? Come on now, wake up!"  
  
"Zzzzz-*snork*-zzzzzzzzzzzz..."  
  
"...... Damn."  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Raven slowed his motorcycle considerably as he approached the street on which the Tendo Dojo was located, bringing the engine noise down to a soft, vibrant purr.  
  
To be honest, a souped-up motorcycle was hardly fitting transportation for a Ninja, especially one as skilled and experienced as Raven, but at the same time, he much preferred high-speed automotive transportation to jumping across rooftops, and his current mission didn't demand a low profile at all. So he was free to throw stealth to the wind and let everyone in the neighborhood know he was present, and he had all but put that freedom to deliberate use.  
  
Turning off the engine completely as he approached the dojo, Raven propped his bike up on the curb, and then silently leapt up onto the wall that surrounded the property, landing in a crouch as his long black hair whipped around in the air behind him.  
  
'Simple enough household. There are at least two dozen ambush points I can use to wait for attackers, and I can even rest in that nook next to the chimney without being sighted.' Raven had perfected a very useful meditation state that allowed him to sleep while still maintaining a proximity sense that would alert him of any approaching figures less skilled in the arts of stealth than he was.  
  
'With what I've learned about these gymnastics girls, they should be simple to neutralize. Even their leader, Kodachi, would have no chance of getting past me, at least without causing enough noise to alert the whole household, thus sacrificing the element of surprise. My success is assured.' Underneath the Ninja mask stretched over his mouth and nose, Raven smiled slightly.  
  
"AAAAAIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!" *Wham!* *Bam!* "Leave me alone!" *Crash!* "Take this, you inelegant gorilla!" *Pow!* *Thwack!*  
  
Raven's tiny smile died very painfully. 'Unless, of course... the attackers got here before I did...'  
  
*Slam!* "OW!! My leg! You little &$%(#!!"  
  
Raven began to massage his forehead.  
  
"Hohohohohoho! You poor dear! You can't possibly compete in the rhythmic gymnastics tournament like that! Why don't you just stay home and tend to your wounds? It's not like a clumsy fool like you would have won, anyway!"  
  
'By the void, Lord Hashiru's going to throw me in the lake...'  
  
"Why you little-OW!! Ooh... it hurts!"  
  
'Why, oh WHY did I have to stop for donuts and coffee on the way here?'  
  
"Don't try and move, my poor dear! You'll only aggravate your injuries! And then you won't get to compete next year, either! Hohohohohohohohohohohoho!!"  
  
Raven watched sullenly from his perch as Kodachi jumped from Akane Tendo's bedroom, leapt up onto a tree in the Tendos' backyard, and then took to the rooftops, twirling her ribbon and throwing black rose petals into the air the whole time.  
  
His eye twitched.  
  
"This must be how those retainer Ninjas for wealthy Japanese families feel. Except they don't get paid nearly as much as I do."  
  
Heaving a great sigh at seeing such a simple and easy mission so fully botched, the elite Ninja jumped back down to his bike.  
  
**********************************************************************************  
  
End Chapter 9  
  
Kaen kito (ky-en keet-oh)- Flame prayer 


	10. Showdown at St Baccus

The scene opens with Ranma striding out onto a stage, waving to the readers.  
  
"Yo! What's up everyone? It's me, Ranma Yagami!"  
  
A moment later, Hashiru Yamazaki strides out from the other side, one hand in his pocket as usual.  
  
"And I'm Hashiru Yamazaki! We're gathering you all here today to have a little chat about something we think it's important for you all to think about."  
  
Ranma nodded seriously. "That's right. Today we're going to talk to you about violence."  
  
Hushed whispers and gasps suddenly bubble up from nowhere.  
  
"Dude, what's up with the sound effects?"  
  
"Just ignore it, okay?" Ranma muttered, then addressed the audience. "It sure has been a long time, hasn't it? How long has BD been pumping out this miserable crap, anyway?"  
  
"For far too long," Hashiru said, nodding sagely. A spontaneous burst of laughter came from nowhere.  
  
"And now we have a laugh track? What in-"  
  
"Ignore it!" Ranma snapped. Then he coughed into his hand. "Anyway, since he's finally managed to get his ass out of bed and write something, we've decided it's high time we made a contribution to the educational community. So today, we're going to educate you all about violence."  
  
Hashiru cleared his throat and stepped forward. "Now, as many of you are aware, violence is one of the primary components of any Black Dragon fanfiction."  
  
Ranma shrugged. "We're not really sure why. We suspect he has problems at home. Or maybe he's emotionally unstable, or something. In any case, he's not well."  
  
Hashiru nodded. "Goes without saying. Anyway, in all the fanfictions you may find within his library, there is always an element of pain and destruction. Take, for example, the much-revered Guardian, which details the exploits of Ranma, but more importantly, details the fanaticism of the secondary character known as 'Snake'."  
  
Ranma pulls down a projector screen, and a clip of Snake gunning down terrorists using a statue as cover rolls. "Notice the complete disregard for procedure and law as he shoots these men without mercy or restraint, killing them in a hideous bloodbath in which dozens of lives are extinguished when they could have been saved and perhaps rehabilitated as productive members of society. Is it cool? Well, yeah. Funny? Of course. But is it right? Again, yes. After all, he's shooting terrorists, and they deserve to die."  
  
"But still," Hashiru clarified, "other people should NEVER use guns so irresponsibly! And police officers should follow established rules and procedures when handling armed criminals. Doing otherwise can prove hazardous to the health of people who might not deserve to get shot, and could cause the officer painful demotions in rank and suspensions from duty. Not very cool."  
  
"Clip two shows a scene from Supernova."  
  
The projector displays a segment showing Ranma infiltrating a freighter and blasting the guards as he dodges laser shots.  
  
Ranma shook his head. "This is a demonstration of one of the worst kinds of killing: killing for personal gain. Notice how my counterpart rips into the just and righteous defenders without shame or guilt for the destruction he's wrought, just for some loot."  
  
Hashiru nodded. "Although killing other people to get what you want usually works in the short term, in real life the long-term effects can be quite hazardous. And on top of that, a lot of people have certain moral issues, since killing defenders and stealing their stuff can be pretty hard on a conscience."  
  
Ranma raised a hand to the projection screen. "Even works as early and as lame as Director's Cut aren't free of the pointless violence."  
  
A clip rolls showing LuxDragon, Mantech1, and Aaron Darwithe being crushed by a huge stone pillar.  
  
"You can see here that these hapless dupes that agreed to be in DC were crushed, smashed, and generally mutilated for no reason other than to entertain you, the reader. But is this really funny? Sure. Is it right? Well, that's more of a gray area, since technically we don't know what they've done to deserve this, but on the other hand, they DID agree to be in DC, so we know that they've done something wrong."  
  
Hashiru wagged a finger in the air. "However, it's important to realize that these are professional, trained hapless dupes with inexplicable and poorly explained powers of infinite resurrection. Killing your friends might be just as funny, but you'll be pretty lonely once they don't resurrect themselves."  
  
Ranma nodded sagely. "Not to mention it's just a HUGE mess if they figure out who killed the guys."  
  
He then tapped the projection sheet again, and it showed a clip of Ranma Saotome, Attorney at Law fighting Setsuna.  
  
Hashiru coughed into his free hand, and looked away slightly. "Now... about this one... well..."  
  
Ranma shrugged. "We'll give the usual 'kids shouldn't do this' warning, but really, we all think it would be best if lawyers did actually fight to the death more often."  
  
Hashiru hastily agreed. "Oh yeah! It'd make jury duty a lot more tolerable, too."  
  
The projector played the next clip, which show Ranma beating up Ataru to get his cookies back.  
  
Ranma sweatdropped and put a hand to the back of his head. "Er... actually, we again don't have much to say about this; though real siblings should tone it down a bit from Ranma's beatings on Ataru, it's perfectly normal and acceptable to beat the tar out of annoying younger siblings."  
  
Hashiru shrugged. "No argument there. Violence may not always be the best way to solve brotherly disputes... but it usually is."  
  
The projector began to show a clip of Rayden chopping apart a high dryad with his dark broadsword.  
  
Ranma cleared his throat. "Fighting demons: VERY DANGEROUS. Definitely not the kind of hobby for younger children, and even the older ones should probably look into skateboarding or Magic: The Gathering first."  
  
Hashiru raised his index finger in the air, making a point. "Though killing demons, no matter in what manner or style, is one of the most perfectly acceptable and satisfying applications of violence, what's good for the conscience is bad for the body. In real life, don't count on escaping encounters like this," he pointed to the projector screen, which was showing the wyrm attacking Ranma in the village, "alive. Ranma and Rayden are trained and highly experienced demon hunters, and trying to imitate them could prove lethal."  
  
Finally, the projector screen shows a clip of Ranma fighting Tomas, ending with Tomas blasting Ranma away with his aurora fang technique.  
  
"And now, the last stop on our little tour of the pointless insanity, this very story, Yagami 1/2."  
  
Hashiru pointed toward the scene, which had frozen at the point where Tomas' fist impacts Ranma. "Note the excessive use of violent force for no other reason than because they were bored. People in this story beat each other up for fun."  
  
Ranma nodded. "You can have fun beating people up in real life, but it's never so simple as this. Often, the other person isn't having fun when you beat them up, and that's bad. Also, the use of techniques that could probably rip apart a freight train in friendly sparring matches is also not very popular in the real world. If you know any techniques like that, it's probably best to save them for when some demonic entity wants to kill you, or when fighting the guy that killed your father."  
  
Hashiru shrugged. "But on the whole, fighting so casually in real life probably isn't such a good idea. We're just animated characters, so we can get away with all sorts of crazy stuff. Like this."  
  
Suddenly, Hashiru's arm lashed out at Ranma's face, striking so fast that his hand was reduced to a flesh-colored streak in the air. *THA-WACK!!*  
  
Ranma was thrown back from the blow, and crashed into the back wall of the stage.  
  
Nodding, the pigtailed boy climbed to his feet. "Right. And I couldn't get away with this." Ranma swiped a hand at Hashiru, and a large purple bolt rushed across the ground and slammed into the older boy, engulfing him in flame.  
  
*Fwoosh!*  
  
Ranma began massaging his neck and Hashiru began dusting the ash off his clothes as they both turned back to address the reader.  
  
"Now, if I was any sort of sissy normal person, Hashiru's attack would have snapped my neck pretty cleanly."  
  
Hashiru jabbed a thumb at himself. "And if I weren't so inhumanly resilient, I'd have a whole bunch of blistering burn scars rather than a few spots of ash."  
  
Ranma smiled and waved. "Well, that's all we have to say! Have a safe year, and remember: Don't try this at home!"  
  
And now for something slightly less pointless.  
  
Yagami 1/2  
  
A Ranma 0.5/King of Fighters Crossover  
  
by Black Dragon  
  
black_dragon74@hotmail.com  
  
http://www.angelfire.com/anime5/fanficlair/index.html  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
And then the Lord said down to the pilgrims, hungry from years of travel and hardship: "These characters belong to Takahashi, not thee! Thou mustn't make any dough off theseth characters, or I shalt smite thous! Now DEATH!! DEATH, to those who hate ham!!"  
  
Chapter 10  
  
Showdown at St. Baccus  
  
**********************************************************************************  
  
Kasumi sighed as she finished replacing the bandage around Akane's ankle, which had been hastily applied the previous night.  
  
Akane nibbled on her bottom lip anxiously. "Well Kasumi? What do you think?"  
  
Kasumi simply shook her head. "I'm sorry Akane. There's simply no way you can compete in the tournament like this. If you didn't have school, I'd even recommend that you avoid even walking for at least a few days."  
  
"A few days?" Akane moaned, holding her face in her hands. "The tournament is tomorrow! This is terrible! I've let everyone down, and we're going to lose again this year!"  
  
"Oh, I don't know about that," Nabiki said from her position in the hallway, apparently having returned from coaxing Soun into the living room (he hadn't taken the "assassination attempt" very well).  
  
Akane looked up at the middle sister hopefully. "You mean... there's some way I can still compete?"  
  
Nabiki blinked, then sweatdropped. "Well... no. There's pretty much nothing you can do about the 'you letting everyone down' part." Akane's shoulders slumped. "BUT, we can still find a replacement good enough to win."  
  
Akane blinked. "Who?"  
  
Nabiki smirked. "Think about it; who are two people that we know who are female at least some of the time, and superb martial artists?"  
  
Akane's eyebrow twitched. The "some of the time" comment made it clear who one of the people were. "I am NOT going to crawl back to Ranma and beg him to replace me!"  
  
Kasumi sweatdropped. "Surely you wouldn't have to beg..."  
  
Nabiki snorted. "To get Ranma into a leotard? She'd have to put out, not just beg." Seeing Kasumi redden and Akane blanch, Nabiki cleared her throat. "Well, then the last option is Shampoo. You're probably going to have to show some humility, but-"  
  
"Shampoo?!" Akane shouted. "No way am I going to ask that arrogant bimbo for help!" She frowned, then brightened. "Wait! What about Min?!"  
  
Nabiki blinked, then she frowned. "Oh, right. Her."  
  
"Yeah! She even seemed to know a lot about rhythmic gymnastics! She was going to join the team! She'd be perfect!"  
  
Nabiki's eyes narrowed. "Well, great. I guess she'd be willing to help, huh?"  
  
Akane blinked. "Nabiki? Are you okay? Is there something you have against her?"  
  
Nabiki blinked rapidly in surprise, turning toward her little sister. "What? No! What brought that on?"  
  
Akane shrugged, and laid back down on her bed. "I don't know. You really don't seem to like her, and I can't figure out why."  
  
Nabiki turned away and stared into the hallway. "I... Something about her just rubs me the wrong way, or something. I don't hate her or anything, but, yeah, I don't like her very much." She sighed. "Look, let's just drop the subject, all right? I'll stick behind so I can help you to school. I think we have that pair of crutches that Dad used when he fell down the stairs, so you won't be completely helpless. We'll stop at Tofu's on the way and then you can talk to Min at school, all right?"  
  
Akane nodded, brightening. "Okay! Thanks Nabiki!"  
  
"Yeah yeah, no charge," Nabiki muttered as she left Akane's room and wandered into the hall.  
  
'I just can't understand it,' she thought. 'What is it about that girl that pisses me off so much?' It was much like how she didn't like Shampoo, but at least that had a logical reason; the girl had deliberately made her and Akane enemies, and talked down to them like they were little animals trying to act tough.  
  
'What's wrong with her? What's wrong with ME?' Nabiki clenched her teeth as she reached the dining room and sat down next to Soun, who was praying feverishly for his daughter's health as a respectable stream of tears washed down his cheeks.  
  
Nabiki hated not having a clear grasp of a given situation, and her distaste for confusion multiplied exponentially when the problem was with her and not something else. Other people could be investigated and questioned. Getting an answer from oneself, when one was not already fully aware of what the answer was, was far more complicated and philosophical than anything Nabiki typically dealt with.  
  
*Bump* Nabiki's head jerked up as a thump sounded from the roof. "What was that?"  
  
"Eh?" Soun halted his praying and stared at Nabiki, apparently oblivious to the noise.  
  
Nabiki frowned as she searched the ceiling, as if expecting to see through it and catch a glimpse of whatever was disturbing the shingles.  
  
All at once, she caught a bit of movement out of the corner of her eye, and turned just in time to see a black blur become a black speck as it bounded to the neighbors' roof and then off onto the next.  
  
She blinked. "What was... no... who was that?"  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Raven landed on the roof of the two-story house, and then leapt across the street onto another rooftop, cursing whatever man put together the Tendos' shoddy excuse for a rooftop.  
  
Even if he doubted anybody noticed, that loose roof tile had really startled him, and the Ninja had quickly decided to leave before anyone tried to investigate it. Besides, he had already heard everything he needed to know.  
  
But at the same time, the information he had acquired confused him. They had referred to Ranma as a possible candidate to replace Akane as the substitute, and Akane had used the pronoun "him" to refer to Ranma. That in itself didn't make sense, even more so when the only Ranma that Raven knew of was definitely male. Never mind the comment Nabiki had made about "putting out", though that could take on numerous other dimensions that he really didn't feel comfortable dwelling on.  
  
He shook his head as he reached the apartment complexes to clear it, and leapt upward, grabbing onto a hanging clothesline and swinging around it to launch himself on the roof of the higher apartments.  
  
Orienting himself toward the Yagami household, Raven thought back to what he had overheard at the dojo. The simplest explanation was that Akane had made a slip of the tongue, and that there was some girl of adequate skill named Ranma going to Furinkan High. The simplest explanation was usually the correct one. Considering the matter, deemed as one of low importance anyway, closed, Raven went over the rest of what he had heard.  
  
"Shampoo" was not a name he was familiar with, so he'd have to ask Hana about it. "Min", however, was a name he knew very well, and if the Furinkan team could land her as a replacement, then their little show should go off without a hitch. Meaning that he had another task to complete.  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Ranma sighed wearily as he fingered his bandages in irritation, and cast another forlorn look at the practice dummy staked in the middle of the backyard. The dummy stared back at him, leering, taunting him with its beaten sandbag face, daring him to walk over there and beat the filling out of it!  
  
His muscles tightening, Ranma got up to do just that, but the hand of the girl sitting next to him grabbed his shoulder and pulled him back down into sitting position.  
  
"Ranma, doctor say you no practice yet!" Shampoo admonished the pigtailed boy as she sipped her tea, ignoring his pained, begging look.  
  
"But Shampoo! It's just beating on a practice dummy! It's not like it's going to fight back!" He protested, trying to get up again.  
  
Shampoo grabbed him by the back of his shirt and pulled him back down next to her. "Shampoo promise mother she not let you get more hurt. Shampoo keep word," she said somberly, nodding her head. Much to Ranma's embarrassment, Nodoka had asked the Amazon girl to start calling her mother. Oddly enough (as it seemed to Ranma, anyway), Shampoo didn't seem to mind.  
  
Ranma grit his teeth and crossed his arms over his chest in frustration. "This is stupid! I can't even exercise a little bit without someone telling me I'm gonna hurt myself!"  
  
Shampoo couldn't hide her smile even as she shook her head. "Ranma too strong be worried about exercise. Ranma get much better, then fight all want, okay?"  
  
He grumbled incoherently, his arms still crossed over his chest. "You didn't have to interrupt that fight, you know. I was going to win. Tomas just had a momentary advantage, that's all."  
  
Shampoo nodded indulgently as she sipped her tea.  
  
"I had my second wind! I had adrenaline! He was toast!"  
  
Shampoo nodded again as she looked up at the garden planted in the backyard, admiring the careful arrangement of flowers.  
  
"I'd worn him down and everything! That last technique was all he had left!"  
  
Shampoo nodded again, wondering if she should ask Nodoka about teaching her some homemaking skills.  
  
"YOU'RE NOT EVEN LISTENING TO ME!!" Ranma shouted.  
  
Shampoo nodded yet again, patting Ranma's leg sympathetically. She already knew how to cook and sew, which were traveler's skills, but she had very little other domestic experience, which probably wouldn't make for a very good wife in Japan.  
  
Ranma groaned and gave up, once again staring irritably at the worn practice dummy out in his backyard.  
  
Then he blinked as a bare glint of sunlight reflected off of something in a tree in his line of vision.  
  
"LOOK OUT!!!" Both Ranma and Shampoo shouted the warning at the same time as they sensed the incoming projectiles, and they each dove to push the other out of the way.  
  
*Thud!* "Ow!" "Aiyah!" Ranma and Shampoo landed on the ground in a heap, both sporting bruises on their foreheads. Above, where they had been sitting, a number of small shuriken struck their targeted positions, forming a vague outline of Ranma's position a moment ago.  
  
Before the two martial artists could fully recover their wits or their pride, a slightly amused voice came from the tree Ranma had been staring toward. "You get an 'A' for agility, but a 'D' for coordination. Those shuriken wouldn't have even hit you had you not moved."  
  
Ranma growled and looked up toward the tree, spying the barest shadow of a figure from within the webs of branches. "Who the hell are you?! Show yourself!" Next to him, Shampoo quickly got up and withdrew her bonbori, determined to protect Ranma in his current weakness.  
  
"Of course. My apologies for this incident, but I must be sure of your abilities before I proceed." At once a black blur shot out of the tree, spraying leaves and dry twigs in its wake.  
  
Shampoo took a step back as the figure landed in a crouching position without a sound, and shifted into a defensive stance as the man slowly stood up straight. He was wearing all black clothes, much of it being light padded armor which was largely obscured under a dark black cloak. He also had long black hair, which was tied into a long bundle and wrapped once around his neck like a scarf.  
  
"Who you?" Shampoo demanded as Ranma got up behind her.  
  
Raven bowed. "You may call me Raven. I come to deliver a message to Ranma Yagami." He nodded slightly toward Ranma, who frowned.  
  
"What kinda messenger announces himself by throwin' Ninja stars?" Ranma asked irritably, balling his hands into fists.  
  
"One who must be sure of the recipient's skills," the Ninja answered without hesitation. "I am inviting you to a dangerous arena, and I would not have my superior's time wasted with the antics of weaklings."  
  
A vein popped up on Ranma's head, and his hands shook slightly. "Weakling? ... Heh... I'll show you who's-"  
  
Before he could charge the intruder, Shampoo let out a battle cry and threw one of her bonbori at him, deliberately placing herself in Ranma's way.  
  
Raven's form moved aside smooth as liquid, letting the Chinese mace zip by harmlessly. Then his hand blurred in a flurry of motion, and Shampoo was suddenly faced with a storm of shuriken hurtling toward her.  
  
*Ting!* *Ting!* *Ting!* *Twang!* *Ting!* Shampoo's mace moved just as fast, blocking each and every projectile with her other mace before charging forward with a wide roundhouse.  
  
Raven ducked the kick with unfathomable fluidity, and then countered with three lightning-fast jabs to Shampoo's stomach, hoping to stun her long enough to land a knockout blow.  
  
To his surprise, she easily shrugged off the attacks, and used the momentum to strike a glancing blow with her remaining bonbori, forcing Raven back.  
  
After recovering from the hit, Raven backflipped away to gain distance, and detonated a smoke bomb on the ground, instantly hiding his form in a vortex of gray.  
  
Shampoo stopped her advance as the smokescreen washed into her, gray dust parting around her slim form.  
  
"Just what do you think you're doing?!" Ranma demanded, having at least waited until combat had slowed before complaining. "Shampoo, stop fighting my battles for me! I can take him just fine!"  
  
"Ranma no worry," Shampoo assured him, her eyes carefully scanning her surroundings, "Ninja boy fast..."  
  
Her hand lashed out to her right, barely grabbing and halting a black glove that had two fingers aiming for a point on her neck. She smirked.  
  
"... but no that fast."  
  
Tugging hard on her opponent's wrist, she brought her knee up into the surprised Ninja's stomach, then smashed the handle on her bonbori onto the back of his head, doubling him over. Quickly dropping her weapon, she then grabbed the back of his shirt with both hands, and unceremoniously hurled him into the tree in which he had first appeared.  
  
*CRACK!!* Ranma winced as the surface of the tree trunk splintered at the force of the throw, causing leaves to fall off as the whole tree shook. Then he went back to grumbling to himself. He wanted to do that!  
  
Raven slowly fell onto the ground, forcing himself to contain any pained noises. Bits of bark and fresh wood fiber fell about him, and he found himself marveling at how a girl of Shampoo's size and apparent mass could possess that kind of strength.  
  
Shampoo turned away pointedly as the Ninja got to his feet. "Hmph. Ninja boy no match for Shampoo, certainly no match for Ranma. Ranma no need waste time fight you. You go away."  
  
Raven bit his lip behind his traditional Ninja mask as he considered it. "Well... I suppose I can take your word for it. I surrender our little match to you, Shampoo." He stood up carefully, making sure not to reveal just how much it hurt. He then reached under his cloak and pulled out a rolled-up paper letter before tossing it to Ranma.  
  
Ranma caught it easily, and frowned as he unrolled it. "What is this?"  
  
"It's an invitation," Raven explained, "to fight a match at Saint Hebereke high school tomorrow, after the annual rhythmic gymnastics tournament."  
  
Ranma raised an eyebrow as he read, and Shampoo frowned.  
  
"This invitation is purely a chance to display your skill before an audience containing my 'boss'. There is nothing at stake, and no consequences if you lose or decline. This match will proceed at your whim alone." Raven bowed deeply as he finished, awaiting Ranma's response.  
  
Shampoo shook her head. "Ranma no can-*Mmph*" she found herself suddenly muffled as a hand clasped over her mouth, and Ranma pulled her back.  
  
"You're on, bird boy! I'll be there!" Ranma grabbed Shampoo around the waist as she started struggling, wincing only slightly as it agitated his healing ribs.  
  
Raven stared at the scene for a moment, wondering why it was necessary for Ranma to restrain his apparent bodyguard, but then shrugged. "Of course. Your acceptance is much appreciated. Farewell." Raven turned and was off like a bullet, easily jumping over the fence and landing on the neighbor's roof.  
  
As Raven's figure disappeared from view, Shampoo finally broke free of Ranma's hold, immediately turning around on her friend.  
  
"What Ranma think doing?! No can fight, is still hurt bad!!"  
  
"Details, details," Ranma dismissed, waving his hand slightly. "I can handle it. Like you said, a guy like that's no sweat for me. I'll be fine."  
  
"What's going on?"  
  
Both teenagers turned around to see Yurumi walking out into the backyard, looking curious.  
  
"I heard some kind of popping noise, and then, it sounded like, um..." Yurumi trailed off as she observed the immediate area. "What happened to the tree? And why are there Ninja stars on the ground?"  
  
Shampoo opened her mouth, but before she could even begin speaking, Ranma's hand once moved to impede her.  
  
"Nothing! Nothing happened! And we certainly weren't attacked by a Ninja!" Ranma insisted, quickly applying the earlier hold to Shampoo once more. He really wished she would stop struggling. Aside from making his ribs hurt, the way her movements ended up rubbing her back and rear against him was really disconcerting.  
  
Yurumi stared at her brother strangely. "We... weren't attacked by a Ninja?"  
  
"What? Me agreeing to a fight? Don't be ridiculous!" Ranma asserted, getting too far ahead of himself in his excuses.  
  
"Fight? What fight?" the young girl asked worriedly.  
  
"Fight?!" Ranma said incredulously, "I have no idea what you're talking about. Where do you get these ideas?" He rolled his eyes unconvincingly.  
  
A large sweatdrop slowly rolled down Yurumi's head, and she decided that Ranma had managed to acquire a head wound during the previous day's battle with Tomas that Dr. Tofu had somehow missed.  
  
"Okaaaaaaaay... why are you holding Shampoo like that?"  
  
Shampoo finally stopped moving and sighed wearily into Ranma's palm.  
  
Ranma glanced at her for a moment. "We're, uh... practicing wrestling moves... or something."  
  
"Riiiiiiiiight..." Yurumi said, thinking that another trip to the doctor's office might be in order. "Well, if the Ninja's gone already, then I'm going to go back inside."  
  
"Ninja?" Ranma shouted, annoyed, "didn't I just say that there was no Ninja?!"  
  
Yurumi stopped to think about that, and then shrugged. "To tell you the truth, I'm not sure myself. Bye."  
  
Ranma watched as Yurumi re-entered the house and shut the door, and then released Shampoo. "Sorry about that, Shampoo. You can go now."  
  
Shampoo let out a sigh, and then leaned back into Ranma, despite the fact that he wasn't holding her anymore.  
  
"Um... Shampoo? Are you okay? I didn't suffocate you or anything, did I?" Ranma asked anxiously, worried that he might have hurt her somehow.  
  
To his relief and confusion, Shampoo looked back at him and smirked slightly. "What? Ranma only want hold Shampoo when other people around?"  
  
Ranma sweatdropped and blushed a bit, realizing that he had been holding her rather tightly. "Eh heh... sorry." He regained his composure and stood her up himself. "Seriously though, I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell anybody about the match. It's no big deal, but somebody might get worried for no reason."  
  
Shampoo frowned deeply and narrowed her eyes. "Ranma... Shampoo worried! Ranma still not better!"  
  
"Yeah, see?" Ranma said, nodding, "this is exactly what I'm talking about."  
  
Shampoo growled in frustration, and covered her face with her hand. Then, after a moment of thought, she lowered her hand and rubbed her chin. She had made a promise to Nodoka, but at the same time, Ranma was her best and only friend. And while she was feeling very protective of him right now, as a fighter of similar caliber she understood exactly how he felt. Perhaps she wouldn't be quite so stubborn if she were in his position, but Ranma took more pride in his martial arts than she did, and his gung-ho devotion and determination was one of the things she admired most about him.  
  
Finally, she sighed and turned to Ranma. "Okay. Shampoo no say anything about fight. But Ranma promise Shampoo you be careful, okay?"  
  
Ranma laughed. "Hey, when am I not?" He immediately winced and rubbed his side, having hurt himself from the forced laughter.  
  
Shampoo sweatdropped. He was doomed.  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"Hey, did you hear the news? I heard Akane's been hurt!" Hiroshi whispered to his long-time friend as he lined up his free-throw.  
  
"You're kidding! A day before the match? Man, that sucks!" Daisuke said, making his own shot toward the basket, and missed the baseboard completely.  
  
"Yeah, I know. Looks like St. Baccus wins again." Hiroshi made his shot, and at least managed to brush the netting as the ball went low.  
  
All around them, the gym class was abuzz with the latest bits of gossip as they all pretended to be practicing basketball. Gossip was a Furinkan pastime second only to fighting, and they were damn proud of it, too.  
  
"Heh, well if you think that's major, get a load of this: Ranma Yagami's came in today all beaten up!"  
  
Hiroshi tripped as he was jogging to retrieve his ball, and fell flat on his face. "Ow! What?!"  
  
Daisuke chuckled as he helped the other boy up. "Yeah, a lot of people didn't notice, but a few of the girls did. He kept massaging his ribs tenderly and looked like he was really uncomfortable. He even got excused from today's gym class! PLUS, I heard from those same girls that today at lunch, he didn't even go back for seconds!"  
  
Hiroshi's eyes bugged out. "Well, that clinches it. Something's up."  
  
His friend nodded. "Oh yeah. I don't like this. First he comes in that one day like he had escaped from an incinerator, and today he comes in with his stomach pulped."  
  
Hiroshi scratched the back of his head. "Well... I mean, he is a fighter. Who are we to speculate?"  
  
Daisuke just shook his head. "A really strong fighter, Hiroshi. And if gets beaten up badly enough that he can't do gym, that means that there's an even stronger one out there. Yeesh. Must be some kinda monster or something."  
  
"Well, I don't if I count as a 'monster'..." As both boys were retrieving their basketballs, they turned to see who had spoken to them.  
  
Tomas walked toward the basket smugly, juggling three basketballs in his hands.  
  
Hiroshi looked doubtful. "You beat Yagami? ......... Nah."  
  
"And why not?" Tomas challenged, launching all the balls in quick succession. "Do you know anyone else who could?"  
  
*Whoosh* *Bok!* *Whoosh* *Swish* All three balls sailed into the suspended hoop, only one of them even hitting the backboard first.  
  
Daisuke crossed his arms over his chest. "I dunno... even if he is the one who's all beaten up, how do we know you actually won? He might've gotten in a lucky shot that knocked you out at the last second, or something."  
  
Tomas' left eyebrow twitched. "I beat him, alright? You can ask him yourself, once you see him again."  
  
"Nah, by then we'll have lost interest in this," Hiroshi stated casually, clearly not concerned with his short attention span. "It just doesn't seem right... I mean, you look fine. If you really beat Yagami, shouldn't you be almost as badly hurt as he is?"  
  
Tomas shrugged. "I used a special technique that he didn't see coming, and it took 'im out."  
  
Daisuke's eyebrows rose. "A one hit knockout?"  
  
"Well..." Tomas hesitated for a moment, "he MIGHT have been saved at the last moment and whisked away by that cute Chinese chick he's always hanging out with. But he was pretty banged up by then."  
  
"Uh huh," Daisuke said, crossing his arms over his chest. "All right. Tell you what, I'll go get Kuno, and then you show us the technique you used."  
  
"Kuno?" Tomas scoffed, shaking his head, "are you joking? There's no way he could take that much damage. I'd kill him!"  
  
"That's okay," Daisuke said, shrugging, "Hiroshi, go get Kuno, would you? Hiroshi?" Turning his attention fully upon his unresponsive pal, he noticed that the blond boy's eyes were riveted to something at the far end of the basketball court. Looking himself, he saw that the martial arts rhythmic gymnastics team had gathered at the edge of the gym, and had devastated expressions on their faces as they spoke to Akane, who had a tell-tale brace on her right leg and was using a pair of crutches to hold herself up.  
  
"Well, looks like the rumor was true," Daisuke muttered, mostly absorbed with watching the usual gymnastics team in their leotards.  
  
"Akane doesn't look upset though," Hiroshi speculated, scratching his head as Tomas approached from behind. "I wonder if she has some kind of plan."  
  
Tomas shrugged, adjusting his hat. "Knowing her, she might be planning on fighting the match like that, and try to convince them that it'll be alright."  
  
Daisuke snorted and turned away. "Yeah, right. As good a fighter as she is, even if she wasn't hurt, she'd have a hell of a time beating Kodachi. I've heard a thing or two about her."  
  
"You mean the kinky torture chamber with all the black leather and the-" Hiroshi begin to ask, before Daisuke slapped a hand over his mouth.  
  
"No! The... uh... other things." Daisuke insisted, keeping his voice low. "About using dangerous weapons in the ring. Spikes and bombs! That sort of thing!"  
  
Tomas sweatdropped. Just how far removed from rhythmic gymnastics was this crazy sport?  
  
"Don't worry! I have the perfect substitute! We'll win this year for sure!" Akane suddenly exclaimed, loud enough so that the entire court could hear.  
  
"She has a substitute?" Hiroshi asked doubtfully, "where's she gonna find another girl as good as her on such short notice?"  
  
Daisuke nodded sagely. "Right. She'd have to be agile, fast, skilled, have experience with unusual weapons, and she'd have to be willing to risk an off-site attack all so that she can get in a fight."  
  
"Plus, she'll probably have to be hot," Hiroshi added.  
  
Daisuke nodded once more. "Right again. The gymnastics team would never let any chick represent them who wasn't cute in a leotard."  
  
"Aw, HELL no..." Tomas mumbled, slapping a hand over his face. He knew exactly who the substitute was.  
  
"Hello ladies! I hear you need a hand!" The entire rhythmic gymnastics team, and pretty much everyone else who had a decent view of the area, turned to watch the double-door entrance to the gym as a lone female figure emerged, a gymnastics ribbon slung casually over her shoulder.  
  
Many of the boys in the gym went slack-jawed. Not from surprise, though few had guessed that Akane would seek out Furinkan's newest female fighter for the last-minute substitution.  
  
Min strode casually into the gym, smirking slightly as she felt the entire room stop and stare at her. She was wearing a green spandex leotard that had two black stripes that began above her legs and then met at the collar, curving over the swell of her breasts. Besides the leotard, she wore a black sash around her waist, and wore tight black gloves.  
  
The captain of the gymnastics team's eyes widened. "You're the replacement?"  
  
Min smiled brightly and nodded, making a "V" with her left hand and turning slightly at the hips, posing. "Yup! Just leave everything to me, ladies! Those prissy Hebereke brats don't stand a chance!"  
  
"Yes! With you on our side, we can't lose!" another member said, her eyes shining. Everyone in the school had heard about Min's short battle with Ranma Yagami, who himself had quickly acquired a reputation for having God-like fighting ability. And while Min hadn't actually done that well, tales of her remarkable agility and precision spread alongside tales of her defeat.  
  
With a confident chuckle, Min snapped up the ribbon on her shoulder, and then moved it in graceful circles about her in a display that had Akane quietly seething about her own inability to master the tool.  
  
*Whksh!* Snapping the ribbon out, the yellow length of cloth wrapped tightly around a basketball, weaving itself around the rubber sphere according to the strong, subtle manipulations of Min's wrist.  
  
With a light twitch, Min sent the ball sailing toward her through the air with a strong topspin, and easily caught it on her index finger as it spun like a top.  
  
With her demonstration complete, the teenage Ninja tossed the rubber sphere over her shoulder, not even bothering to watch as it bounced off the nearest basketball baseboard and dropped through the hoop.  
  
"So, is there a practice session after school, or what?" Min asked, smiling lightly as she looped up her ribbon.  
  
"No way!" the captain exclaimed, "we can't afford to hold another practice session! Half of our team was ambushed in the evening, on the way back home!"  
  
Min snorted and planted her hands on her hips. "I don't mean to belittle you girls, but I can protect myself just fine."  
  
Akane shook her head. "We know that you can take care of yourself Min, but these girls are sneaky! And desperate! Last night Kodachi herself attacked me in my own bedroom!"  
  
The captain nodded. "That's pretty unusual; Kodachi's a rich girl, so she doesn't usually do the grunt work herself. They either must have decided that Akane's too skilled for the normal gymnasts to handle, or they're being extra careful about removing the last of the competition."  
  
Min nodded slowly, considering being attacked in her own home. Inwardly, she was containing laughter. Anybody that assaulted the Bogard homestead would need nothing short of an army! "Don't worry, I'll be careful." She winked at them. "The important thing is that we win tomorrow!"  
  
"All right!"  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"You go, girl!"  
  
Across the basketball court, Tomas sighed and turned away, rubbing his head irritably.  
  
"This... is going to end badly... I just know it..."  
  
Hiroshi and Daisuke, focused as they were on the contours of Min's body as outlined by the skin-tight spandex, neglected to comment.  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Later that night...  
  
"Kione, are you sure you know what you're doing?" one of the gymnasts whispered, her arms wrapped around her torso to keep warm.  
  
"For the hundredth time, yes! Would you just let me work?" The leader of the group whispered back harshly, and then slowly ran her hairpin back into the keyhole, searching for the subtle movements that would allow her to open the door.  
  
"Well, just hurry it up, would you? It's freezing out here!" A third girl shuddered mightily as she ran her hands up and down her arms, trying to stave off the cold night air.  
  
Kione, the apparent leader of the ambush squad, rolled her eyes and turned away from her infiltration to address her three companions. "And who's fault is it, exactly, that you're standing out here in your team leotards?"  
  
The other three girls blushed, which contrasted greatly with the pale shades they had been taking on over the last few minutes. While Kione had worn a heavy jacket and pants, the other girls were all wearing gym leotards, with their legs and arms bare.  
  
"W-Well, Kochi always makes her attacks in her leotard!" One of the girls protested, failing to convince anyone that she had even a remotely logical case.  
  
Kione rolled her eyes once more and turned back to the lock. "Right. And you want to be like Kodachi?"  
  
One of the others sweatdropped. "Well... she IS a good gymnast..."  
  
Kione snorted. "Good thing too, otherwise she'd never have been able to dodge all the men in white coats when they came for her." *Click* "Got it!"  
  
One of the girls breathed a sigh of relief and pushed forward. "Thank goodness! I thought I was going to freeze to de-" her path was cut off, though, as the girls' leader spread her arms in front of the entrance, barring them from entry.  
  
"Careful! This isn't a social visit, we're making an ambush!" their leader admonished, pointing a finger into the air. "We don't know jack about this girl Min; just that she was good enough for those Furinkan twits to pull her in as a substitute, and that, according to rumors at least, she was good enough to last a little while against someone named 'Ranma Yagami'."  
  
The other girls blinked. "Ranma Yagami? Who's that?"  
  
Kione nodded. "Exactly. We're going in blind." She turned toward the house and slowly opened the door, keeping herself in a crouching position as she crept forward. After a moment, she moved her right hand back and then swept it forward, gesturing for her companions to follow.  
  
When all four gymnasts had entered the house, the last one in slowly closed the door, careful to avoid making any noise at all.  
  
"All right, split up and check all the rooms," Kione whispered, "I'll start upstairs, while you search down here first and make your way up. And remember: no noise until you find her!"  
  
"Right!" her subordinates all whispered back, and immediately branched out into the different rooms of the fairly large homestead.  
  
Kione herself crept upstairs, and looked down the hall. Numerous doors greeted her, and she scanned each wall, trying to guess the size of each room by the distance between the doorways.  
  
While doing so, she noticed that one of the rooms had a sign nailed onto it, and slinked down the hall to that particular doorway.  
  
In the major absence of any light, other than the moonlight shining into the hall from a window at the end of it, she couldn't tell what the picture on the sign was other than it was some sort of mostly black shape. However, under the picture was red lettering just big enough for her to see clearly.  
  
" 'Danger. Beware of Ninja,' " she mumbled to herself. Then she thought it over. It was the sort of sign that a teenager might put on his or her room, and probably not an adult. Nodding to herself, Kione slowly turned the knob of the door, and gently let herself in.  
  
Once she had noiselessly closed the door behind her and taken an initial look around the room, Kione was tempted to pat herself on the back for her excellent detective work; lying on a chair in the middle of the room was a Furinkan school uniform.  
  
Smirking slightly at the apparent ease of the night's mission, she turned toward the lump in the bed that was easily visible with the open window set behind it.  
  
Reaching into her coat, Kione pulled out a pair of nunchaku, and crept forward until she was right over the peacefully sleeping figure.  
  
*Thump* She grimaced as she felt nothing but soft cushion as she drove her weapon down at what she assumed to be Min's thigh. Retracting quickly, so that her target wouldn't have time to awake and orient herself, she moved up toward the larger part of the lump, presumably the torso, and struck again.  
  
*Thump* Panicking, she pulled back and did a double-armed swing toward the pillow.  
  
*Thump* It was about this time that she realized that there wasn't anything ON the pillow, and all the pieces of the puzzle suddenly clicked into place in her head.  
  
"Tsk, tsk, tsk. Took you long enough."  
  
The leader of the teenage thugs whipped around as she heard a voice chastising her from behind the dresser, and her eyes widened. Min Bogard leaned casually against the wall, shaking her head sadly. The girl was clothed in a plain white t-shirt and black panties, fairly normal sleepwear, but also had a closed fan in her right hand that she idly toyed with as she stared sadly at the assaultant.  
  
"So this is the notorious St. Hebereke assault and battery squad? How boring," Min muttered, tossing her head to one side. "I didn't even need to make a decent decoy to fool you. Just a bunch of pillows under the sheets."  
  
Kione grit her teeth, and brought her nunchaku in front of her. "Well then, you should have hit me when you still had the advantage!" She hissed the last part through her teeth as she swung her weapon forward, letting go of one end in a horizontal strike for Min's shoulder.  
  
Min snorted, and her right wrist moved.  
  
*Fshing!* *Shk* In one lightning-fast motion, the bladed fan opened up to meet Kione's nunchaku, and then snapped itself closed as one of the sticks went flying off to the side of the room, its chain sliced clean through.  
  
The gymnast's eyes bulged, and she began to tremble in fear as a deadly smirk crossed Min's features.  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"Hey, did you hear that?" one of the gymnasts whispered, looking upstairs.  
  
"Yeah, I think Kione found her already," another whispered back, gesturing for her last companion to join her.  
  
"Do you think we should see if she needs help?" the last one asked, not at all eager to retreat into the cold nigh air.  
  
"I don't think its her that needs help."  
  
The three gymnasts blinked, and then blinked much more rapidly as light suddenly poured into the living room they were in.  
  
After a moment their eyes adjusted to the light, and they were treated to the not-unpleasant but very ill-timed visage of Mai and Andy Bogard looking down on them from the top of the stairs. Mai was looking especially pissed, and was gripping two of her battle fans while being clothed only in a (from the look of it) hastily-donned nightgown. Andy, unarmed as usual, was clothed in white boxer shorts and a tank top, revealing a chiseled, muscular chest that might have had the teenage (and gender-isolated) girls swooning under different circumstances.  
  
Mai's left eyebrow twitched, and she crossed her arms in front of her before opening her bladed fans, casting bright flashes of light over their razor edges. "Do you have ANY idea how hard it is to get this man back in the mood once we're interrupted?! You're not going to get away with this!" she hissed, her eyes narrowing.  
  
Andy sweatdropped. "Dear, you don't owe them an explanation." He rolled his eyes and began to crack his knuckles.  
  
The three wide-eyed gymnasts finally broke out of their deer-in-the-headlights state, and one of them regained enough of her courage to speak.  
  
"Uh, d-don't mind us, we were just leaving!" They all turned to run, but stopped short as soon as they had their backs to the Bogard elders.  
  
Tomas raised an eyebrow as he leaned casually on the front door, clad only in a pair of jeans. "Leaving? Not yet you're not." Then he smirked. "Count yourself lucky. If you had tried to pull this in America, you probably would've been shot by now."  
  
The three terrified schoolgirls just whimpered in response.  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Just two minutes later...  
  
*Thump* Andy dropped the third gymnast on the cement walk and dusted off his hands. "Consider this a lesson to you: if you're going to rob someone's house, do a little research on who you're robbing first. World-class martial artists make poor victims."  
  
The girl failed to reply, for the obvious reason that she had duct tape covering her mouth, as well as more duct tape that bound her limbs in addition to the garbage bag that covered her body and closed over her neck.  
  
"Mph!"  
  
Andy rolled his eyes and turned back toward the house. "Stop struggling. In that plastic bag, at least you'll survive the night. I'm not sure you would have in those getups you're wearing. Who ever heard of wearing a leotard to a burglary?" Shaking his head sadly, he opened the door and re-entered his home.  
  
Inside and upstairs, Mai worriedly approached Min's room, a little fearful but mostly curious. She seriously doubted that any of the burglars could have hurt anyone but the youngest children in her family, but she found it odd that Min hadn't shown up when the gymnasts had broken into the house. Even Tomas had noticed, and he wasn't particularly well-versed in stealth at all.  
  
*Knock* *Knock* "Min? Are you all right?" Mai called, and then waited for a response. Putting her ear up to the door, she heard some shuffling, and quickly made a decision, putting her hand on the knob.  
  
Before she could open the door, however, it cracked open itself, and Min's head poked out. "Oh! Hi Mom. What are you doing up?"  
  
Mai blinked. "Min, are you all right? Some girls broke into the house, and you didn't come down. Did you even notice them?"  
  
Min blinked. "Girls? Broke in? What?"  
  
Mai raised an eyebrow. "You didn't notice them? At all?" She found that hard to believe. She knew full well that Min was good with her senses, and wasn't a heavy sleeper. And even if she hadn't sensed or heard the break-in itself, she should have certainly heard the short but relatively noisy scuffle that ensued.  
  
'Come to think of it, she doesn't look like she just dragged herself out of bed...' "Min, were you awake?"  
  
Min sweatdropped a bit. "Uh, well, yeah. Just getting in some last-minute practice for the tournament tomorrow, you know. Kinda busy though, so if you'll excuse me..." Ducking back inside, Min quickly closed the door, leaving her mother to frown doubtfully at the [Beware of Ninja] sign that marked her room.  
  
Nonetheless, Mai eventually decided that she had no reason to keep bothering her daughter, especially seeing as she DID have a tournament to fight the next day, and left for her room.  
  
After the door to Mai and Andy's room closed shut, Min slowly opened the door again, and then peeked into the hallway to make sure no one was present.  
  
Confirming that the lights were off and everyone had retired once again, she closed the door again, and turned toward the far corner of her room.  
  
"You should be thanking me. Who knows what Mom and Dad did to the rest of your little team." Min smirked as the girl who was gagged and tied securely to her computer chair cowered in fear.  
  
She walked over to the girl, and put a finger up to her lips. "Now be quiet, or else everyone will know you're here, and you'll probably get your head bashed in. I'm going to remove the gag."  
  
Min smoothly untied the pillowcase wrapped around Kione's head, and the gymnast gulped as Min stared down at her like an executioner savoring the moment before a beheading.  
  
"Wh... What d-do you want?" she stuttered out.  
  
"Information," Min answered simply, raising her index finger in the air as if making a point. "As a Ninja, it's natural for me to take on a match like this not only with skill and grace, but with intelligence and planning." Her eyes narrowed. "Not that anybody other than you Hebereke gymnasts have actually seen her FIGHT a match, but with what rumors were available, not to mention this little stunt, I get the feeling that facing this Kodachi girl might have something up her sleeve besides gangs of thugs."  
  
Min watched Kione's reaction carefully, and gauged that she was right on target, if the cautious but understanding look in the gymnast's eyes were any indication.  
  
"So... what is it, exactly, that you want me to tell you?" Kione asked bitterly, some of her nerve returning. "I'm the leader of this attack, but I'm not Kodachi's right-hand woman or anything. I don't know what kind of crazy tricks she has in store for you. You're wasting your time."  
  
That nerve hastily disintegrated as the girl suddenly found herself lifted into the air, chair and all, as Min grabbed her jacket and pulled the gymnast up to her height.  
  
"Then you'd better convince me that you do, or else I just might decide that you're not worth protecting from my family." Seeing the girl pale, Min narrowed her eyes. "And if you give me any more lip, I might decide to take care of you myself. I'm sure I can find some creative ways to show you how much I hate having people sneak into my room at night. Something involving peanut butter and a microwave."  
  
Kione blinked, momentarily breaking out of her terrified frame of mind. "What would you do with peanut butter and a microwave?"  
  
"I don't know yet; that's what makes it creative," she unceremoniously dropped the restrained girl on the floor, and hoped her parents believed her excuse of practicing enough not to investigate, "and if you don't want to find out, you'd better start talking."  
  
Admittedly curious about Min's threat, but not curious enough to risk the wrath of a girl, and family, so much stronger than her, Kione decided that it was in her best interests to tell everything she knew, and make a few additional guesses just in case. As for the tournament... hey, there was always next year.  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"So this is St. Hebereke, eh?" Ranma grinned as he looked up at the pristine, elaborate structures of the private campus, savoring the moment before the fight. "I have a good feeling about this."  
  
Behind him, Shampoo snorted. "Ranma only one. Is you feeling better?"  
  
Ranma laughed confidently, and then flexed his arm, slapping his other hand on his bicep. "You kidding? I've never felt better!"  
  
Shampoo stared at him skeptically, then reached out and poked him hard in the stomach.  
  
Ranma blinked, and raised an eyebrow at her. "What was that for?"  
  
Shampoo seemed a bit surprised, and let herself smile a bit. "Shampoo sorry. Ranma really do feel better, yes?"  
  
He smirked. "Of course I do. I told ya."  
  
Shampoo turned away to look at the gym, and Ranma immediately crumpled to the ground, holding his stomach in pain.  
  
"This school much more nice than Ranma's. Why Ranma go Furinkan?" Shampoo asked, turning back toward her friend. She blinked as she saw Ranma standing up straight, wiping his forehead.  
  
"Well, for one thing, it's an all-girls school," Ranma mumbled, "which means, technically, I could go here, but I'd rather have rusty nails pounded into my legs."  
  
"Ah," Shampoo replied, sweatdropping.  
  
"Also, this is a private school," Ranma explained, pointing to the administration center, "it's really expensive to go to places like this, so usually it's just rich kids that do."  
  
Shampoo nodded in understanding, and looked about as people from both Hebereke and Furinkan started to head toward the gym for the tournament.  
  
"Hi Ranma!"  
  
"AAAAAAAAH!!!"  
  
Min, Tomas, and Shampoo all sweatdropped as Ranma launched himself up and clamped onto the head of a nearby speaker tower.  
  
"STOP SNEAKING UP BEHIND ME!!" He yelled down, glaring at the Ninja girl.  
  
Min chuckled weakly and scratched the back of her head sheepishly. "Eh heh... sorry..."  
  
Tomas waved lightly to Shampoo, careful to keep a respectable distance (they hadn't parted last on the best of terms). "Hey, Shampoo, right? This is my cousin, Min. Min, this is Ranma's friend, Shampoo."  
  
Shampoo nodded in acknowledgement as she stared up at Ranma. As well trained as she was, she could feel Ranma's tension increase tenfold as he stared nervously at Min. That was odd.  
  
Min bowed to Shampoo. "Nice to meet you! You're a martial artist, right?"  
  
Shampoo turned away from the pigtailed boy to address the Ninja. "Shampoo is Joketsuzoku warrior from China."  
  
The young Bogards seemed surprised at this. "Wow, a real warrior?"  
  
Shampoo nodded, smiling.  
  
Min grinned. "That's great! Maybe we can all practice together sometime!" She then looked up the speaker tower. "What do you say, Ranma?"  
  
The Yagami fighter sweatdropped, still clinging to the tower head. "I'm, uh, busy that weekend."  
  
Min frowned. "I didn't name a date."  
  
"What are you doing here, anyway?" Ranma asked, changing the subject.  
  
"You didn't hear? I'm the Furinkan substitute!" Min said brightly, smiling.  
  
Ranma blinked in surprise. "You are? What happened to Akane?"  
  
"There was an attack," Tomas explained, "she was hurt too badly to compete, so she asked Min to do it."  
  
"Damn it!" Both Bogards flinched back as Ranma cursed and started fishing in his pocket. After a moment, he pulled out his wallet, withdrew a 1,000 yen bill, and let it fall down to Shampoo, who plucked it out of the air.  
  
Tomas sweatdropped. "I take it you suspected something like this might happen?"  
  
"That worthless tomboy couldn't even last until the match. That's what I get for showing some faith in that moron." Ranma mumbled.  
  
"In any case," Min began, scratching her head, "are you coming down from there?"  
  
Ranma shook his head, still clinging to the tower. "Nuh-uh. I like it up here."  
  
Everyone below sweatdropped again.  
  
*ATTENTION!! ATTENTION!!* "AAAAAAUGH!!* Ranma was jolted from his position of safety when an announcement came from the speaker tower, blasting right in his face.  
  
*Thud!* "Ow!"  
  
*THE MARTIAL ARTS RHYTHMIC GYMNASTICS TOURNAMENT WILL BEGIN IN FIFTEEN MINUTES!! CHALLENGERS, PLEASE REPORT TO YOUR RESPECTIVE CHANGING ROOMS!!*  
  
Tomas turned toward Min. "Well, that means you. Good luck."  
  
Min nodded cheerfully, then leaned over toward Ranma, who was still on the ground in a heap. "Well, see ya later Ranma! Root for me, okay?"  
  
"If my brain finishes piecing itself back together by then..." he mumbled, not getting up.  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"Wow! Mommy, the school is so pretty!" little Kikyo exclaimed, almost jumping up and down as she held onto Mai's hand.  
  
Mai nodded, smiling brightly. "Yes it is, and their gymnastic facilities are supposed to be world-class."  
  
"This should be a good show; Min seemed really excited about it," Andy said, Toji sitting atop his shoulders, "what was the last tournament she got into?"  
  
"Martial arts ballet dancing. It was just last year," Mai responded.  
  
Andy nodded. "Ah, right. It was rather... odd to see 'Swan Lake' performed with everyone kicking and punching each other."  
  
Mai shrugged. "They were going to do 'The Nutcracker', but all the male contestants refused."  
  
Andy sweatdropped.  
  
"Mommy, can I go to a school like this when I grow up?" Kikyo asked hopefully, looking up at the elder Ninja.  
  
Andy chuckled weakly. "Uh, Kikyo dear, these places are just slightly beyond my income level." Providing for a family of five was difficult enough with a lone business consultant's salary, especially when Mai was too busy with the kids to take up bodyguard and espionage contracts like she had in the past.  
  
Mai grinned. "And besides, this is an all-girl's school. Don't you want to find a nice, strong hunk of a man like your big sister? That won't be easy if you don't have any boys for classmates!" Kikyo let out a little sigh, and Andy grimaced.  
  
"Can I go to an all-boy's school?" Toji asked, the prospect of gender isolation appealing to his young mind.  
  
"Only if you're going to grow up to be a doctor," Andy answered, earning him a light elbow jab from his wife. From below, Kikyo stuck her tongue out at Toji, who returned fire by pulling down an eyelid.  
  
*ATTENTION SPECTATORS!! THE EVENT WILL BE BEGINNING IN JUST OVER TEN MINUTES!! PLEASE FIND YOUR SEATS AND PURCHASE YOUR REFRESHMENTS NOW, BEFORE SEATING BECOMES LIMITED!!*  
  
"Well, I guess we'd better hurry," Andy said, moving ahead with Toji still on his shoulders.  
  
Before they had gone very far though, Andy and Mai were quickly distracted when they saw a small band of college-age men approaching with a single high school girl in tow. As elite martial artists, the relatively high power levels in the group easily caught the Bogards' attention, even without any signs of danger or aggression.  
  
Andy looked them over a little casually, deciding that there was no reason to assume the group had any malicious intentions.  
  
"Well, if it isn't the Bogards! It's nice to see you here!"  
  
Mai and Andy halted in their tracks, and their children stared curiously as a man with long blond hair strode up to them, his left hand in his pocket.  
  
"I'm really glad that Min decided to compete; Hebereke usually wins by default. It's not very interesting, you see."  
  
Mai nodded, smiling. "Yes. Well, Min seemed very happy to do it. She's the type that jumps to any challenge."  
  
"Yes, yes," Hashiru said, clapping his hands together. "I'm also glad you were able to handle that little break-in by those schoolgirl thugs last night without any mishaps. To be honest, I had one of my boys on standby ready to tear in there and help you out, but, well..." Hashiru looked around for a moment, and then leaned closer to Andy, "to tell you the truth, the guy charges through the nose if he ever has to do anything. It's kind of a pain."  
  
"Ah, I see," Andy responded, nodding.  
  
Hashiru grinned and gave a short wave. "Well, I'm just glad you're alright. There'll be a little after-game show too, so sit back and enjoy yourselves!" He walked off toward the gym, his small band behind him.  
  
Mai waved goodbye, and Kikyo and Toji followed suit.  
  
Then the Ninja turned toward her husband. "What a nice young man. Who was he?"  
  
"I have no idea," Andy said, shrugging only slightly to avoid disturbing his son.  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Min walked up to her assigned dressing room, clearly marked with a sheet of notebook paper taped on the front door. A glance at the floor revealed a bouquet of black roses at the foot of the door.  
  
She rolled her eyes and grabbed one sleeve of her shirt before zipping around in a circle, momentarily disappearing in a whirlwind of cloth. After a split second, she stood in the hall clad in the same gymnastics costume she had shown off the day before, with her previous outfit nowhere to be seen.  
  
"Heh. What a fool. Ninjas of the Shiranui style have evolved our art beyond the need for dressing rooms!" Smirking to herself, she walked past the door, making sure to give the bouquet a wide berth.  
  
It didn't take long to reach Kodachi's dressing room, easily identifiable by the golden nameplate with the star gymnast's name embossed on it.  
  
Min grinned and pulled a hairpin out from the base of her ponytail, sticking it in the keyhole while she put her ear close to the doorknob.  
  
While Min had to have her equipment transported from her home (which Tomas had agreed to help her with), Kodachi's equipment was stored in her dressing room before being brought out to the ring.  
  
'Unless that prissy thug's a lot sharper and braver than she seemed.' Min added mentally.  
  
*C-click* Min smirked as she opened the door, and crept inside.  
  
'Kodachi, you're going to rue the day you ever heard of Min Bogard!'  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
St. Hebereke's old janitor yawned to himself as he pushed his mop cart through the halls next to the gym, grumbling to himself. Usually his job was very easy; spoiled but wealthy children that had been brought up with manners befitting the higher classes didn't usually make a big mess.  
  
However today was the day of some kinds of sports tournament, and he grimaced as he imagined the numerous spills he'd have to mop up and the trash he'd have to dispose of after letting the rowdy Furinkan crowd onto the grounds.  
  
Being a janitor, he was quick to notice the batch of flowers lying on the floor. Of course, the packaging didn't look old, so the old man began to pass it, correctly assuming that it was a gift, and not litter.  
  
At some point, he realized that the roses were black, and blinked as his cart stopped.  
  
"That's odd..." being that he was the janitor, he was usually only present after school hours, and thus not privy to even the most common and well-known rumors of the school. So naturally, he was unaware of Kodachi's affection for oddly colored flowers, and understandably mistook the black coloration for rot and decay.  
  
*Pssssst!* Upon touching the bouquet, the poor man was immediately subjected to a blast of sedative fumes, and stumbled backward as he lost consciousness.  
  
*Bump* The mop cart was propelled forward as the janitor hit it on the way down, and it slowly wheeled its way down the hallway, unimpeded.  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"So, did you see Yagami anywhere?" Hashiru asked as Hana returned from the gym arena.  
  
The brunette shook her head. "Nope. Maybe he's not here yet. He might only plan to show up for the fight after the tournament. If so, he wouldn't be here until then."  
  
Hashiru nodded, frowning. "Right. Still, I hope we see him. It's going to look pretty bad if we pull this off and he doesn't show. This has the makings of-HELLO!" Hashiru's head jerked to the side, and Hana's left eye twitched as she recognized the gang leader's behavior.  
  
Hashiru rubbed his chin as a beautiful and shapely girl walked purposefully through the halls, obviously searching for someone. She was wearing tight blue jeans and a white tank top, had long, lustrous purple hair, and a definite exotic look about her that he found particularly alluring.  
  
Hana sighed and turned to look at her cousin's latest infatuation. Her eye twitched once more. "Great. It's her."  
  
"You know her?" Hashiru asked, not taking his eyes off the Chinese beauty.  
  
Hana snorted. "Her name is Shampoo. She's a... friend... of Yagami's. She's got a crush on him or something."  
  
"Mutual or not?" Hashiru asked quickly, tracking the Amazon as she passed. Shampoo gave either of them only marginal attention, even though she knew and remembered Hana.  
  
Hana raised an eyebrow. "What about... wait, what was her name? Kike..."  
  
"Kikia," Hashiru replied, his eyes now locked on Shampoo's back, "we broke up this morning."  
  
Hana gave her cousin a half-lidded stare, and then sighed, knowing that he wasn't lying. Despite his womanizing, for some reason the gang leader took great pride in that he'd never cheated on a girl; whenever he wanted someone else, he would dump whatever current attachment he had with brutal honesty and haste.  
  
"Whatever. No, it's not mutual. Go for it."  
  
Without another word, Hashiru was off like a shot.  
  
"Pardon me, young lady, are you looking for someone?"  
  
Shampoo turned around at the voice, and looked up at the blond man that had been standing next to that schoolgirl that sometimes brought Ranma lunch. "Shampoo looking for man. You know any Ninja be here?"  
  
Hashiru stood there for a moment, stunned. "That... that accent... is adorable."  
  
Shampoo blinked.  
  
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Hashiru said after a moment, shaking his head, "Ninja... do you mean Raven?"  
  
Shampoo nodded, her eyes somewhat hard. "Yes, that him! You know where is?"  
  
'Oh man, she is SO cute...' "As a matter of fact, I do. He'll be here in a few minutes."  
  
Shampoo nodded again. "Good. Shampoo need talk to Ninja boy and then tell Ranma what do."  
  
Hashiru stood back, rubbing his chin with his free hand. "So... you're Shampoo, right? It's an honor. Where in China are you from?"  
  
Shampoo stared at the man for a moment, curious as to why he was making small-talk. After a moment, she decided it didn't really matter. "Shampoo from Joketsuzoku village. Is Chinese Amazon village."  
  
"Amazons... nice." Hashiru grinned good-naturedly.  
  
"My lord Hashiru, I... uh... hello, miss." Raven pulled himself up straight and bowed as he caught sight of the Chinese girl that had handed him his ass the previous day. 'This is rarely a good sign.'  
  
Shampoo gave the Ninja a cool look, having been mildly surprised when he skidded to a stop right next to her. Then she ran what he had said over in her head. "Wait. You is Ninja's lord?" She asked, pointing to Hashiru.  
  
The blond man nodded. "Guilty as charged. Me and Raven are old pals. And before you ask, yes, I was the one that set this all up... even if it wasn't my idea." He not-so-subtely winked at Hana. Luckily though, due to his hair obscuring his eyes, Shampoo didn't see it.  
  
Shampoo crossed her arms under her breasts and frowned. "Why you do this? Why you want see Ranma fight?"  
  
Hashiru leaned backward a bit, balancing on the heels of his shoes. "I like strong people. I like working with strong people. Yagami sounds like an interesting guy, and this seemed like an amusing way to meet 'im."  
  
Shampoo blinked. Twice. "......... Okay." Try as she might, the Amazon girl just couldn't find anything wrong with that motive. Perhaps the way he had delivered the challenge wasn't right, but then, Amazons themselves had comparable customs. "Ranma and Shampoo try find you to ask what you want Ranma do."  
  
"I just want him to get ready to enter the gym arena once the tournament is over. Then the person on the mike will switch with one of my guys, and he should enter the ring once he's introduced."  
  
Shampoo nodded and then turned around to leave, only to stop short as a formally-dressed man with a cane and a monocle walked up to and then around her.  
  
"My lord Hashiru, our compatriots are in position, preparations are complete, and the contestants should arrive in moments. Shall we be on our way?"  
  
Without answering, Hashiru extended a hand toward Shampoo. "If you'd like, I could have Raven or one of my guys tell Yagami. You could come watch the match with me. I have good seats."  
  
Shampoo shook her head. "No thank! Shampoo find Ranma by self!" Without another word, she dashed into the hallway, probably intent on finding Ranma in time to see the match anyway.  
  
"Well, damn. She likes him, all right." Hashiru muttered, shaking his head. "And way too much to go for me."  
  
Hana blinked, and then looked worried. "Are... are you sure?"  
  
He nodded. "Absolutely. I can see it in her eyes. She doesn't just have a crush on him, she's in love with him." He shrugged. "Too bad. Well, for you, mostly."  
  
Joshin and Raven stepped back as a vein popped up on Hana's head.  
  
"What do you mean for me?!" Hana yelled, gritting her teeth.  
  
Hashiru shook his head sadly and clapped a hand on his cousin's shoulder. "Let's face it little flower, she's got a great face, a killer bod, martial arts skills, and a sexy foreign accent. You're better off physically fighting her than trying to get her man."  
  
Hana turned a hot scarlet as her cousin smirked at her, and her eyes narrowed. "Well, at least I have it better than you; he's got her so enamored that you've given up without even having met him!"  
  
Hashiru twitched.  
  
Joshin coughed into his hand. "In the words of the common folk: *Ahem* burn."  
  
"Aw, shaddup," he muttered, walking past his lackeys toward the gym arena. "Let's just get our seats already."  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"Ranma! Shampoo found Ninja!"  
  
Ranma turned around as Shampoo approached, and stopped at the foot of the staircase to the changing rooms.  
  
"You found him? Good! So what's the deal?"  
  
Unbeknownst to either of them, at the top of the stairs, a mop bucket crept slowly toward them, inching its way toward the edge of the first step.  
  
"They say you just be ready for match to begin, and go to arena when man call Ranma name." Shampoo repeated diligently, scanning Ranma's body to look for indications of weakness. She had to admit, either Ranma was feeling almost as good as he claimed, or he was doing a darn good job of hiding it.  
  
"Well, that's easy enough. Might as well go watch the tournament, then."  
  
At the top of the stairs, the mop bucket reached the end of the first step down... and stopped, the last of its momentum spent barely a millimeter before it reached that first edge.  
  
Shampoo frowned. "Shampoo still worried. Ranma very strong, but Ninja boy skilled, and..." she bit her lip for a moment, "Shampoo met others who with Ninja. Shampoo can tell they very strong. If Ranma not hurt Shampoo no would worry, but-" before she could continue to fuss over him, Ranma grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her into a hug, startling the Amazon girl.  
  
"I know, I know. Look, Shampoo, I know that you've been pretty worried about me, and that I'm not the easiest guy to take care of..."  
  
Shampoo's surprise faded, and she closed her eyes and melted into the embrace as she felt Ranma's breath graze her ear.  
  
"But you always have. I've complained, I've resisted, and I've ignored you, but you never stopped trying to help me. Not now, and... not even... back at your village. Thank you."  
  
"Ranma..." Shampoo whispered, and gently pulled herself back a little bit so that she could look up into Ranma's eyes. Seeing his questioning look, she slowly moved her face toward his, savoring every moment as the distance between them closed.  
  
*Bump* *Bam!* "Oh, curses! Who left this stupid bucket here?"  
  
"Eh?" Ranma mumbled, blinking.  
  
*Splash!*  
  
"What the-?" Ranma exclaimed as water poured over him, his hair falling down over his eyes in a wet fan.  
  
*Thwack!*  
  
"OW!!" Ranma yelled, as a heavy plastic mop bucket slammed into the back of her head, knocking her to the floor in a soapy puddle.  
  
Kodachi shook her head as she carefully made her way down the stairs, which had been made slick due to the soapy water. "How utterly reckless to leave such a thing where anyone could trip on it and hurt themselves! Ugh! And to think, after I wasted all that time, I still couldn't find my razor hoop!"  
  
After reaching the bottom of the stairs, the gymnast noticed a girl wearing a black jacket with a crescent moon insignia was lying on her hands and knees on the floor, shaking her head.  
  
"Ah, so the foolish janitor's blunder did hurt someone after all. Wait... I know you. You're that bothersome little wench that confronted me several days past!" Kodachi couldn't help but smirk as she watched the redhead look around in confusion. "Did you lose something? Your wits, perhaps?"  
  
"Shampoo?" Ranma looked down both hallways, but couldn't see any sign of anyone but the snobby gymnast standing above her. "Where'd she go?"  
  
Kodachi shrugged. "You were the only one present when I descended." Then she smirked again. "Unfortunately, while I normally make it my duty to assist stricken low-born wretches like yourself, I have little time before my crucial match and inevitable victory begins. I bid thee farewell."  
  
Snickering to herself, Kodachi dashed away through the halls toward the arena, leaving Ranma to glare at her back.  
  
Down the hall and around the corner, Shampoo breathed heavily, her small furred chest pounding as she sat on a pile of soggy clothes.  
  
Being struck by a bucket's worth of cold water; both figuratively and literally, at such a crucial point had proved to be not only a mood-killer, but had also left her in cat form right in front of Ranma. As it was, she could only hope he had been too stunned by the water to see the change, and that she had escaped quickly enough with her wet clothes dragging her down.  
  
Letting out a deep sigh (for a cat, anyway), she stared down at the floor. How long was she even going to be able to hide it, anyway? Why couldn't she face him with her curse?  
  
There were numerous reasons, she knew, even if none of them were particularly binding. Being around him as a cat was a window to the side of him that she didn't get to see all the time. Not that he was very different in private than he was in public; Ranma was always himself, but he was a lot more free with his tongue when he was talking to himself about his problems.  
  
"Well, what have we here?"  
  
Shampoo blinked as she heard a high-pitched voice that sounded on the edge of a banshee's screech. Looking up, she realized that Kodachi was looking down at her consideringly.  
  
"I think I can use you. Here, kitty kitty!" Kodachi lashed out to grab Shampoo by the scruff of the neck, but Shampoo dodged to one side, and then bolted down the hall.  
  
"Oh, no you don't!" Kodachi proclaimed, lashing out with her ribbon.  
  
"Meyowr!" Shampoo howled as best she could as the gymnastics ribbon wrapped around her, but it failed to bring any assistance before she was yanked back to the ribbon's wielder and dumped into a sack.  
  
Kodachi chuckled to herself as she pulled out a metal chain and collar. Being careful not to let the bag open too widely, she stuck her hands in, intent on restraining the animal with the collar. "Here you go kitty, just-ow!-here, I'll just-ow!-stop biting, you flea-bitten little runt! Ooh! That's going to scar!" *Chink!*  
  
Quickly pulling her hands out and tying the sack shut, Kodachi rushed to the arena.  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
*Ahem* *Sorry ladies and gentlemen, but it would appear that one of our contestants is a little late! If you'll just bear with us for a few moments...* The emcee, a position which was held by one of the girls in Hebereke's broadcasting club, began to sweat slightly as murmurs passed through the crowd.  
  
Up in the ring, Min smirked as she balanced a gymnastics club on one finger.  
  
Behind her on the floor, Tomas and Akane stood next to the Ninja girl's equipment, looking worried.  
  
"Min, Kodachi's running pretty late..." Akane began, unsure of how to ask her question. "You didn't... you know, stoop down to her level, did you?"  
  
Min snorted and bounced the club up, snatching it out of the air in a lightning-fast motion. "Yeah, a little. I didn't injure her up or do anything that might cause her to forfeit, though."  
  
Tomas nodded. "Of course. You'd never pass up the chance to beat up some spoiled rich girl in front of a crowd. Must be something else."  
  
*Bam!* The sound of a door slamming open filled the stadium, and everyone turned to watch as Kodachi dashed into the gym arena and jumped into the gymnastics ring, stopping only to drop a sack in her team's corner.  
  
*Ah! Finally! Ladies and gentlemen, the returning martial arts rhythmic gymnastics champion: KODACHI KUNO!!!*  
  
Kodachi's left eye twitched as half the crow erupted in cheers and the other half in booing. She had planned to do her entrance by being lowered down in a ball gown that concealed fireworks, as well as a missile that would have put the match into her favor nice and early. However, in addition to being unable to find her hoop, Kodachi had found that somehow the missile had detonated when she wasn't there, destroying both the dress and the fireworks.  
  
Min blinked. "Kodachi... Kodachi KUNO? Wait, does that mean..." Min turned toward the Furinkan half of the audience, and grimaced as Tatewaki raised his hand to her.  
  
"My love, though it may wound you deeply to know that you face the brethren of your beloved, know that you must not hold back, or my twisted sister shalt surely destroy you!" Kuno sighed deeply and raised a victory fan in the air. "Know that even though you face mine own kin, still my voice, in tandem with my heart, cheers only for you, my fierce and noble warrior!"  
  
"I think I'm gonna be sick," Tomas muttered, understanding enough of the more formal and flowery Japanese to know that the speaker was clearly several cans short of a six-pack.  
  
"You think YOU have it rough," Akane began, crossing her arms over her chest, "at least he's not hounding you. Even after he started chasing Min, he hasn't left me alone either!"  
  
Tomas shrugged, then felt a finger tapping him on the shoulder. Turning around, he saw Andy leaning toward him.  
  
"Is that him? The Yagami kid?"  
  
Tomas snorted and shook his head. "No, that's the Yagami kid's rival. Well, 'rival' is too strong a word. He's pretty much just a moron who keeps drooling over Min."  
  
Andy frowned. "And you're telling me that this Ranma guy isn't?"  
  
Tomas chuckled. "Yeah, right. She wishes."  
  
Min turned away from Kuno, and raised an eyebrow. "So... You're Kuno's sister? That makes way too much sense." Then, ever so slowly, a wide smile grew on Min's face. "Beating you up is going to be more fun than I thought."  
  
*And in this corner,* blasted the loudspeakers around the gym, *the challenger, a substitution gymnast hailing from Furinkan High: MIN BOGARD!!!*  
  
The booming cheers from the Furinkan side of the crowd, especially the male half, easily drowned out whatever meager greeting St. Hebereke offered.  
  
A girl in a referee's uniform walked to the middle of the ring.  
  
"This match will be in the traditional style of St. Hebereke's rhythmic gymnastics tournaments!"  
  
There was a moment of silence while everyone waited for her to elaborate.  
  
"...... Uh, well, it's been a really long time since we've actually fought a challenge, so I'm not exactly clear on what that style is! But nonetheless, no attacks are to be made without the use of your provided tools, with the exception of throws or holds."  
  
The crowd sweatdropped.  
  
"Is that all?" Min asked, hands on her hips. "Are there anything like restriction on weapons? No cutting edges, piercing spikes, explosives, that sort of thing?"  
  
The referee bigsweated, and glanced at Kodachi, who raised an eyebrow. "You know, I, uh, I'll have to check my rule book and get back to you on that. Like I said, it's been a while." Then she raised an arm and dropped it down. "Begin!"  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"Well, damn, I can't find Shampoo anywhere. I was hoping we could watch the match together," Ranma mumbled to herself as she looked back and forth at a hallway intersection.  
  
"Oh well. Better change back and get to the arena." Ranma fished in her pocket for her metal cup, and then blinked. "Wha?" She tried her other jacket pocket, and then patted down her pants. "Damn! I forgot the cup!" Ranma frowned, and then shrugged. It wouldn't be too hard to find some other way to heat the water. She could just heat the pipes or the faucet or something.  
  
'Then again, this is a rich place, so they probably have hot water taps, unlike the cheap sinks at Furinkan.' Entering a restroom, she smiled as she took a look at the faucets. 'Yup, they have 'em.'  
  
Satisfied that for once her curse wouldn't be a problem, she walked up and turned the hot water knob.  
  
*Squeak* *Squeak*  
  
Nothing came out.  
  
"What?" she mumbled, turning it up all the way. Still, nothing came out. Experimentally, she tried the cold water knob. Nothing.  
  
"Stupid thing must be out of order," she mumbled, moving to the next sink.  
  
*Squeak* *Squeak*  
  
".................... Oh, HELL no."  
  
Ranma quickly moved from sink to sink, turning each knob on as far as it would go. Not a drop fell from any of the faucets.  
  
"Damn! Now what am I gonna do?" Obviously, she had to find some standing water, since there seemed to be a current problem with the plumbing.  
  
'But the only standing water around here would be...' slowly, Ranma turned to stare at the toilet stalls.  
  
For a moment she continued staring. Then she shook her head. "Oh, get over it! I've slept in leech-infested marshes and drank from dirty puddles, but I cringe at the thought of submerging my arm in fresh toilet water? Ha! Pop would smack me over the head if he knew!"  
  
She started forward, and then stopped just inches from the stall.  
  
"Then again... I don't know it's fresh... I mean, how long has the plumbing been down? And without running water, the flush would..."  
  
Grimacing, Ranma turned around and walked out of the restroom. There HAD to be a better way.  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
*Would you look at that ribbon strike! Min seems to have the champion on her toes, and Kodachi's been forced back into her corner, reduced to throwing clubs at the challenger! What a match, folks!*  
  
Kodachi let a smirk cross her face as she darted left and right, dodging the agile ribbon as it lashed toward her. With a wave of her arm, she loosed three clubs at Min, who twisted around and whipped her ribbon about in waves, striking each projectile out of the air.  
  
"I see you possess some small skill, girl. Were you one of my classmates, you might even be worthy serve under me on the gymnastics team."  
  
Min rolled her eyes and strode forward, moving to the center of the ring. "Yeah, just keep yakking, brat. You're not going to be able to after I break that ugly jaw of yours."  
  
"How rude!" Kodachi protested, raising a hand over the corner column. "I think you should cool off a little bit! Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho!!" Slamming her hand on the top of the column, and the carefully concealed button that lie there, she activated one of her later ideas in ring-based booby traps that would cause jets of water to blast Min, thus distracting her.  
  
On either side of Min, water nozzles popped out of the corner columns, both aimed at the center of the ring.  
  
Nothing came out of them.  
  
"What? Impossible! I spent hours rigging those hoses!" Kodachi complained.  
  
"Oh dear," Min said with mock worry, raising a hand to her face, "I hope nobody turned off the water; that would disable your whole trap, plus the other one with the soap bubbles!"  
  
"What?!" Kodachi shouted, gritting her teeth. 'She knows about my traps? But how?!'  
  
She quickly decided that it would be best to bring the fight in close, as Min seemed particularly adept with the gymnastics ribbon. Taking up a pair of her "special" clubs, she moved in.  
  
Min let her approach, tossing away the ribbon and getting ready to dodge.  
  
Kodachi thrusted high, knowing that even if she missed by a small margin, she would still score a hit. Predictably, Min tossed her head to the side to avoid the attack, and Kodachi hit the switch on her club's handle.  
  
*BRZAAAK!!* The whole crowd shaded their eyes as Kodachi suddenly lit up like a Christmas tree, her high-voltage club delivering every volt into its user.  
  
Min's eyes widened as her opponent stumbled backwards, her body charred and hair smoking. "Electric clubs! What an awful cheat! Especially since you didn't think to protect yourself from them!"  
  
Kodachi slowly regained her wits, and looked down at the smoldering weapon in her hand. Then her face turned red in anger, and she hurled the burnt weapon at Min, who swatted it out of the air with her hand.  
  
"Hey, referee, that's a foul!" Akane complained, "those things are dangerous! To both of them!"  
  
The regeree shook her head. "Sorry. The tools she has are legal." She had very specific instructions concerning the match: overly dangerous weapons were not against the rules. Though looking at it now, Kodachi might well be better off if she DID call the foul.  
  
"You... You... You sneaky weasel! You've sabotaged me!" Kodachi grit her teeth and pointed meaningfully at the Ninja, who merely looked innocent with her hands clasped behind her back.  
  
"Me? Sabotage?" Min asked, blinking, "no, of course not. I was, however, attacked in my own home by a bunch of girls in gymnastics outfits. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?"  
  
"You dare suggest that the noble house of Kuno dabbles in foul play? I will show you the error of your ways!" Kodachi started snapping her ribbon forward, and Min danced around the lashes, looking for something.  
  
While Kodachi assumed she was looking for an opening, and slowed her attacks to cover her defense, Tomas noted that Min was actually looking past the gymnast and out into the crowd, while occasionally darting glanced to the side or behind her.  
  
'Where is he?' Min thought to herself, seeing no sign of the telltale black jacket in the crowd. It would have been easy to spot, too; most of the students were wearing school uniforms. But if he wasn't watching her, where was he? The only thing going on was the rhythmic gymnastics tournament. If he had come, he had to have come to watch her, right?  
  
Min was brought back to attention as a ribbon strike finally hit her, leaving a pale red mark on her thigh.  
  
"Ow! You're going to pay for that, you little witch!" Min dashed to the side and grabbed her own ribbon.  
  
"The only one who's going to pay is you!" Kodachi announced, calling to her corner for one of her gymnastics balls, which she had carefully armed with incinidary devices from the chemistry club.  
  
"Take this!" Kodachi tossed the first of the weapons into the air, and then moved to slap it toward Min as it came down.  
  
*BOOM!!* Contrary to its original designs, the ball detonated the moment Kodachi hit it, and the entire crowd winced as a cloud of smoke rose from that side of the ring.  
  
Min gasped. "Explosives in the balls?! If you're going to use such dangerous weapons, you should be more careful about it!"  
  
"Hey ref! That's a foul!" Akane yelled.  
  
The girl at the edge of the ring shook her head. "Sorry, she's using legal tools."  
  
Tomas raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure? At this rate, she might kill herself."  
  
"You... you little, ugly, stinking, top-heavy pile of-" Kodachi began, her entire body shaking such that ash began to come off her body and settle on the floor of the ring.  
  
"Ah-ah-ah!" Min said, interrupting, "please! There are children present!"  
  
"That does it!" Kodachi yelled, gesturing to her corner, "Let's see if you predicted THIS!!"  
  
Outside of the ring, two of Kodachi's gymnasts picked up a large burlap bag, and then heaved it into the ring. Kodachi snatched the bag up with one arm, the other holding one of her non-trapped clubs.  
  
Min's eyes widened as she realized that the bag was squirming within Kodachi's grip. 'No telling what that is! I'd better end this, quick!' She darted forward, aiming her club for Kodachi's head.  
  
Despite all Min's skill and superior agility, Kodachi was no novice when it came to gymnastics fighting, and Min found two initial strikes cleanly deflected before Kodachi grabbed onto her arm, and then pulled the bag over it, nearly striking Min in the head.  
  
The Ninja girl ducked the bag, and then moved her right hand forward for another club thrust, only to find that she was suddenly carrying more weight on that arm.  
  
"Mrowr!"  
  
"What the?" Min and the entire audience stared at the cat that was hanging from the chain now attached to Min's wrist.  
  
*Oh my! PETA is not going to be happy about this! It appears that Miss Bogard has been shackled to a feline prisoner! With an animate and irritable weight on her dominant arm, can the challenger hope to win against the champion?!*  
  
"I think NOT!!" Kodachi shouted, moving in with her clubs and striking mercilessly.  
  
Min grunted as the gymnast's strikes began to land, and attempted to defend herself with the one club in her right hand, sorely wishing that she was simply able to punch or kick her opponent in the head.  
  
*Bok!* *Bok!* *Bok!* *Bok!* "MEOWR! ROWR!"  
  
With the quick arm movements being transmitted easily down the relatively short chain, Shampoo found herself choking as her collar was yanked up and down rapidly. Eventually she managed to catch her claws onto the sash around Min's waist, and held on tightly as the girl continued to fight.  
  
*Bok!* *Bok!* Min managed to slap aside Kodachi's club, and then extended her arm to go for a strike to her foe's head.  
  
"ROWR!!" A feline cry of pain was all the warning Min had before her arm jerked to a stop, bare centimeters away from successfully striking Kodachi's face.  
  
*Whap!* "Ow!" Kodachi wasn't thus impeded, and cleanly smacked Min on the head before making a horizontal strike for the Ninja's head.  
  
Min ducked, and quickly threw a small sphere on the floor in front of her. Smoke suddenly billowed out across the ring, and Kodachi found herself unable to locate her opponent, even though she was doubtlessly right in front of her.  
  
*And now the challenger has created a smokescreen! What an amazing match this is turning out to be, folks!*  
  
"A smoke bomb? Such a device is against the rules!" She turned to the referee. "I demand that you assert penalties against her!"  
  
The referee shrugged, to no one but Kodachi's surprise. "Sorry, her tools are legal."  
  
"This is an outrage!" Kodachi insisted, "bombs and live animals are one thing, but you allow smokescreens as well? Who taught you the rules of this sport?!"  
  
"YOU did," the girl replied sourly.  
  
For better or for worse, the argument was cut short when a furry white and pink blur burst from the billowing smoke, attaching itself to Kodachi's face.  
  
"AAAAAAIIIIIEEEEEEE!!! GET IT OFF!! GET IT OFF!!" Kodachi began to run around screaming as Shampoo exacted revenge on the insane noblewoman, completely forgetting that the cat had been chained to someone just moments before.  
  
The smoke began to clear, ane there was scattered applause as Min's form became discernable, the chain that had restricted her still attached to her wrist, but without the cat on the other end.  
  
Min finished putting her hairpin back in the base of her ponytail, and breathed a sigh of relief that picking locks was one of the skills her mother had taught her during her Ninja training.  
  
Then she chuckled as Kodachi ran past, trying to remove the cat that looked to be trying to bite off her nose. "Maybe that will teach you a little lesson about being kind to animals, brat!"  
  
Swinging her arm forward, Min flung the chain at Kodachi, striking her solidly in the stomach. As the gymnast doubled over, Shampoo decided she had had enough and dropped to the floor, quickly evacuating the ring.  
  
Before Kodachi could recover, Min lashed out with the chain again, aiming for her arm. *Ka-chink!*  
  
Kodachi blinked as her own chain snapped closed over her wrist, and then gasped as she was yanked into the air, sailing over Min's head and toward a spot outside of the ring.  
  
The gymnast grimaced as the armlet that connected her with Min opened and released her (as it was no longer locked), preventing her from using it to get back into the ring. No matter. She had other tricks in store. She raised a pair of fingers to her lips and took a deep breath.  
  
*Wsoo-weet!* A different whistle from a different location sounded before Kodachi could employ her own, and the noblewoman's eyes bulged as she watched the ring move away from her instead of toward her, sealing her defeat.  
  
*Thud*  
  
There was a tense moment of silence as Kodachi landed heavily on the mats outside the ring, so stunned that she even forgot to land properly.  
  
*KODACHI KUNO HAS TOUCHED DOWN OUTSIDE THE RING!!! THE MATCH IS OVER!!! FURINKAN HAS WON!!!*  
  
A deafening wave of cheers and applause came from the Furinkan half of the audience as people began chanting Min's name.  
  
The Ninja girl grinned as the referee held up her arm, declaring her the winner.  
  
Kodachi, meanwhile, was busy chasing down her own gymnastics team. They had emerged from under the ring after hearing the challenging school declared the victor, and was immediately forced to flee as their own team captain began whipping them with her ribbon in an irrational rage.  
  
"Yay! Go sis!" Toji cheered from his seat next to Andy, and was quickly joined by his father and younger sister.  
  
"You're the best Min!"  
  
"Ha ha! That's my girl!"  
  
"Not bad. Not bad at all," Hashiru mused, rubbing his chin.  
  
Hana nodded, impressed despite her own feud with the Ninja girl. "I know. She really knocked it to her."  
  
Her cousin smirked. "I was talking about her figure. She fills out that leotard really well."  
  
Ignoring the brunette's sigh, Hashiru turned toward Joshin. "It's on."  
  
"As you wish, Lord Hashiru," Joshin bowed, and then made several awkward-looking but quite deliberate motions with his cane.  
  
Min bowed again toward the crowd, her arms held up high as she savored her moment of glory.  
  
"Hey, what are you-Gyah!"  
  
She turned as she heard the referee cry out, and blinked as a man with spiky flame-colored hair stepped up next to her, a microphone in hand. Looking back, she could see that the ref was being dragged away by a man clothed in black.  
  
"Hey! What's going on here?" she demanded, only to have the man wink at her and patiently stand in the middle of the ring, holding his microphone.  
  
*What's this?! I appears that-* "-a number of ruffians have approached the stage, and..." the emcee trailed off as she realized her voice was no longer being amplified by the speakers, and looked down to see her microphone jack being replaced with a wireless jack by a man with long green hair tied into a long pigtail.  
  
*Chung* There was a heavy noise from above as all the gymnasium lights went out, and light panic began to sweep the arena.  
  
*Shoom* A split-second later, numerous spotlights focused on the ring, and Min blinked. Was this some sort of elaborate awards ceremony?  
  
*Ladies and gentlemen! We hope you've enjoyed the first half of the day's events! Let's all give a last round of applause for the beautiful Min Bogard!*  
  
With only momentary hesitation, the crowd once again began clapping.  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"Come on... come on..." Ranma muttered as she held a flame under the thick stone of the birdbath.  
  
After a moment she stopped, and then felt the water in the bath, gritting her teeth as she realized the water wasn't even lukewarm yet.  
  
"Damn it! Come on! Heat already!" Taking a deep breath, Ranma held both hands under the charred underside of the stone bowl.  
  
*FWOOSH!* A bright flash engulfed the area as a bolt of purple washed over the entire birdbath, causing the portion of it already weakened from the heat to shatter within moments.  
  
*Crack!* *Sploosh*  
  
Ranma sighed wearily as she watched the water sink into the ground. "Crud. Now what?"  
  
*Ladies and gentlemen! We hope you've enjoyed the first half of the day's events! Let's all give a last round of applause for the beautiful Min Bogard!*  
  
"What? It's over already?!" Ranma complained. "Wait... that was a guy's voice... first half of the day's events? Damn!"  
  
Ranma looked down at herself, then groaned as she took off her jacket and tied it around her waist. "Well, I'm not backin' outta this no matter what!"  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
*That's right folks!* the flame-haired man exclaimed, waving his hand in the air, *the show is not yet over! Brought to you by Akumaru Private School and Clan Ra, we bring you a second exciting match!*  
  
Whispers began to circulate through the crowd.  
  
"A second match? Huh. You didn't tell us about this," Mai noted as Min sat down next to her.  
  
Min shrugged. "I didn't know. This is good, at least. I'll have a chance to unwind after the battle."  
  
"Hmmmm..." Andy crossed his arms over his chest, musing to himself. "That fellow who spoke to us before the match said that there would be a show afterward. This must be it"  
  
"Guy? What guy?" Tomas asked, as he too sat down next to his relatives.  
  
Andy pointed across the arena at a blonde man that looked to be around twenty sitting next to a brunette with glasses.  
  
"Hey, I know her! That's Hana!" Tomas exclaimed.  
  
*Hold onto your seats as these two martial arts masters duke it out in a dazzling display of strength and skill!*  
  
Mai blinked. "That man's name is Hana? Odd..."  
  
"No, the girl next to him is Hana," Tomas clarified, "I think she's a friend of Yagami's. Sometimes she brings him lunch."  
  
Min frowned.  
  
*Today you will once again witness the might and zeal of Furinkan High, as their strongest competitor takes on one of Akumaru's own titans of fighting!*  
  
Min blinked. "Strongest competitor? They must be talking about Ranma!"  
  
"Nay, for what is that scoundrel compared to me?"  
  
The entire Bogard family blinked as a teenager wearing a blue kendo outfit appeared before Min, holding his chin thoughtfully.  
  
"Such beauty and grace! Such cunning and strength! Milady, I implore you, after this battle that I am doubtlessly about to be called to, that you should date with me!"  
  
Min twitched. "Ugh. No thanks." Looking over to her father, she noticed him frowning. "Daddy? This pervert is bothering me. Can you make him go away?"  
  
"Gladly," Andy muttered, standing up an stretching his arms a bit.  
  
"Ah, so you are the father that hath sired this luscious creature!" Kuno said, turning toward Andy, and clearly oblivious to the danger he was in. "Know then, good sir, that I intend to-Gurk!" *Thock!* *Wham!*  
  
Raven noted that there was a figure standing in the entrance to the gym, and recognized the sillouette of a pigtail in the dim light cast on that part of the arena. Immediately he raised an arm and made a hand signal. Moments afterward, he realized that the figure was shorter than it should have been. And that while black hair should have been just about invisible in that darkened corner, the hair of the person he was looking at was a lighter hue, making it more visible.  
  
*And so, our challenger has appeared!* The new emcee grinned and gestured to the far corner of the gym arena. *Presenting the challenger from Furinkan High, the sire of fire, who's heart blazes with a flame dark as the very shadow, RANMAAAAAA YAGAMIIIIIIII!!!*  
  
*Shoom* The lights switched on again as the emcee gestured to Ranma's form, completely illuminating that corner of the arena.  
  
*CRASH!* The entire building shook slightly from the force as half of the present audience facefaulted.  
  
Andy's eyes widened. "He... wait... Min?" He turned toward his daughter, who's left eye was twitching. "Is... Is your boyfriend a crossdresser? Or... are you..."  
  
"THAT'S NOT HIM!!" Min shouted.  
  
Ranma looked from side to side of the arena as the audience began to talk amongst themselves.  
  
"What? Who's that? Where's Ranma?"  
  
"Their best fighter's a girl? How about that?"  
  
"Wow, she's cute."  
  
"Yagami chickened out? No way!"  
  
The emcee bigsweated as unrest among the crowd grew. *Please bear with us for a moment folks, it appears that we've run into some technical difficulties. Mr. Yagami is clearly running a little late, so-*  
  
"Gimme that!" Ranma said, snatching away the microphone as she reached the ring.  
  
*Ahem. I'm Ranko. Sorry about all this. Ranma's recently suffered an injury, you see, and due to certain circumstances which were complicated by the poor plumbing around here, won't be able to make it.*  
  
Ranma turned toward the St. Hebereke half of the crowd. *I mean, seriously, what's wrong with you people that you hold a big match when there's no running water? Sheesh.*  
  
Off in the Furinkan side, Min blushed deeply as she watched the Hebereke audience's utter bewilderment.  
  
*Anyway, he wanted to make it, and was going to fight, even though his doctor and his best friend said it could really hurt him. But despite all his efforts, he's not in any shape to fight right now.* Ranma turned around to face the majority of the crowd. *So I'll fight in his place.*  
  
Hashiru blinked as more whispers rushed through the crowd. "Well, this was... unexpected. Who's she?"  
  
Hana frowned. "I... I have no idea. I've never seen her before." She sighed and leaned back, crossing her legs. "She's cute though, huh?"  
  
Hashiru nodded. "Yeah. Too bad she's a lesbian."  
  
*Thud!* "Ergh!" Hana picked herself up from the foot space of the bleachers. "What?! You can tell from here?!"  
  
The gang leader nodded. "Sure. It's in her mannerisms. The way she moves, her expressions, who she looks at; it all screams 'I like girls.' "  
  
Hana sweatdropped. "Sometimes I think you know women way too well..."  
  
The emcee sweatdropped. "Uh... look... kid, you can't be serious about this. Your challenger is no pushover."  
  
"Good," Ranma said, handing back the mike, "that's the way I like 'em."  
  
"You're kidding!" the college student protested, "I mean, look at you! I'll bet you barely weigh a hundred pounds! I could probably tip you over with my finger and-"  
  
*Thock!* In an attack so fast that some weren't even sure she had moved, Ranma slammed a fist into the man's gut and then withdrew it so that she was standing in the exact same position as before.  
  
"Okay... you win..." The emcee coughed several times, then brought up the microphone. *The challenge has been reviewed and accepted! Now we meet our other challenger! From Akumaru's higher classes comes a man of legendary formality and ability! Literature, philosophy, history, and brutality are his favorite subjects! Presenting JOSHIIIIIIIIN KEITOROOOOOOOO!!!*  
  
The audience applauded as a new pair of lights focused on a figure at the edge of the ring, and Ranma raised an eyebrow as Joshin jumped up over the ropes and walked toward the center of the battle arena.  
  
"Tuxedo. Cane. Monocle. So I'm fighting 'The Penguin'? At least you've lost weight."  
  
Joshin smirked, turning sharply to one side while hopping his cane up on his arm. "Your wit is matched only by your feminine grace, milady." Then he took off his monocle and cleaned it with a handkerchief. "Which, I might add, is similarly lacking."  
  
Ranma grinned. "Good. Had me worried for a sec, there."  
  
Joshin frowned as he replaced his eyepiece. "Most odd. Shall we begin?"  
  
"Ready when you are, Rockefeller."  
  
The emcee cleared his throat. *This match is in the style of Anything-goes. Anything short of a lethal attack is acceptable. Please try to keep your techniques restrained to the ring. First one to surrender or lose consciousness is the loser! Begin!!*  
  
Ranma rushed in quickly, rearing back her hand to strike. It occurred to her that if she were to use her flame powers, that people might assume Ranko was related to Ranma and seek out answers from her family. Because Ranma was still trying to keep her curse a secret, obviously this could not be allowed, and so he had resolved to complete this battle without using her flames.  
  
As she got within striking distance, Joshin's form suddenly blurred before her, and Ranma promptly found herself flying through the air.  
  
Behind her, Joshin finished sweeping with the hook of his cane, and flipped his weapon of choice over in his hand as Ranma hit the floor of the ring. "Feminine grace or masculine, you could use more of it. Several more landings like that and I fear you may damage those exquisite features of yours."  
  
Ranma groaned as she pushed herself up, trying to keep from holding her stomach in pain. "Just keep talkin', Rockefeller..."  
  
"One who does not enjoy the intellectual stimulation of common conversation can hardly be expected to understand the subtleties of more volatile forms of interaction." Joshin tossed his cane up off his arm and grabbed it in his right hand, preparing for another pass.  
  
"I hate fighting rich guys," Ranma groused, "you people talk too much."  
  
Joshin grinned. "But it does keep things so much more entertaining, no?" With that, he swung his arm in an arc toward Ranma, causing the hook on his cane to separate and extend toward Ranma, connected to the rest of the weapon by a chain.  
  
Ranma's reflexes worked despite her surprise, and she slapped the hook away before once again closing the distance to her foe.  
  
Joshin turned slightly and stood up straight, standing like a statue while his right arm alone whipped left and right, moving the cane's handle and chain into several lashing motions that Ranma struggled to avoid.  
  
Ranma jumped over the sweeping chain, then dodged to the side as it cut for her head at an angle.  
  
The next attack cut straight across at chest level, and Ranma ducked low, only to be struck by sudden pain and nausea as her much-abused abdomen complained about the rough treatment.  
  
Thus, she wasn't able to dodge the next strike, and grunted before realizing that the cane's hook had caught on the jacket securely tied around her waist.  
  
With a hefty pull, Ranma was sent flying toward his foe, who pulled his cane once more into a single piece and slammed Ranma down out of the air in two snappy motions of his arm.  
  
Ignoring the pain, Ranma flip-kicked upward, barely missing hitting Joshin's chin and once again getting on her feet. With her foe in easy striking distance, Ranma lashed out with a roundhouse. Only to realize that her enemy wasn't where she thought he was. A split-second later, she was in the air again, courtesy of a cane sweep from Joshin.  
  
Rather than letting Ranma hit the floor again, this time he grabbed the back of her tied jacket with his left hand, and then hurled her high into the air.  
  
*Chingk!* *SLAM!!* The audience winced in sympathy for the poor girl as they watched Joshin shoot his cane hook into the air and catch Ranma's leg before pulling her back down, slamming her into the floor of the ring with such force that a deep impression was left in the canvas.  
  
*What a combo! Ranko seems shaken! So far this fight has seemed terribly one-sided, despite fantastic displays of agility and coordination from the Furinkan challenger! Is this battle over already?*  
  
Up in her seat, Min snorted and crossed her arms over her chest. "Give me a break. If Ranma was out there right now, he'd have kicked that dork's sorry..." Mai gave her a warning glance, and Min revised her statement for her little siblings' sake, "... rear end by now."  
  
Tomas grit his teeth as he watched the redheaded girl get up. "The jerk could go a little easier on her! She's obviously not new to fighting, but geez!"  
  
Andy frowned. "You know, I think something's wrong with that girl. The way she's moving... it looks like she's hurt."  
  
"Well of course she's hurt," Min muttered, leaning back, "she just got tossed five meters into the air and then pulled back down with the same amount of force. And believe me, the mats in that ring aren't all that soft."  
  
"No, I think I see what your father means," Mai said, shaking her head, "even when they had started, she looked like she was struggling a bit. She must be aggravating her injuries horribly."  
  
Ranma growled as the emcee's announcement rang in her head, and she gave Joshin a sub-zero stare. Now it was personal. She had been holding back her flames to hide her curse, but now she was holding back her flames as a matter of pride. Someone had implied that she couldn't even hold her own against this nerd, never mind win, and they had to be proven wrong. That was that. Perhaps if there was something on the line, some important prize or horrible fate hanging in the balance, she might have used her natural advantage, but as there wasn't, Ranma was determined to crush Joshin with her bare hands.  
  
'He's so fast... and strong, too... if I wasn't injured, I could fight him on his level, but-'  
  
Before she could complete that thought, Joshin rushed straight for Ranma, cane in hand. Ranma moved to sweep him, only to be swept herself as Joshin once again zipped past him while sweeping with his cane.  
  
"Gyah!" Remembering what happened the last time, Ranma moved her arm into position. True to form, Joshin once again grabbed her by the back of her tied-up jacket, inadvertently giving Ranma the stability and leverage needed to strike her foe hard in the side.  
  
Joshin stumbled at the blow, and Ranma pushed her body clockwise around his arm, twisting backwards to land a weak, but clean, kick to the nobleman's face.  
  
*And Ranko lands her first attacks of the match!! Joshin's combo is foiled!! We just might see some good action yet!!*  
  
Joshin dropped his enemy and dashed backward, his cane on guard. Ranma landed on her hands, then flipped to her feet, grimacing as her stomach protested.  
  
'Okay, I got a hit in now. Kind of odd though, that'd he'd try the exact same attack.' Ranma frowned. 'Come to think of it, all his attacks he seems to execute almost as if he's not concentrating or thinking about them. He just starts to move and sees it through.' Ever so slowly, Ranma grinned. 'He's stuck in a pattern...'  
  
"Ah, a good strike, milady, but hardly cause to celebrate just yet," Joshin said, turning so that his profile faced Ranma and sticking his cane under his arm.  
  
Ranma nodded, standing up. "You're right. That can come after you're out cold."  
  
"Confidence, or foolish optimism?" Joshin questioned, fingering his monocle. "More importantly, is there really any substantial difference between the two?"  
  
"Have I mentioned that you talk too much?" Ranma deadpanned. Then she attacked.  
  
Joshin didn't budge as Ranma approached, and then his form suddenly blurred in a flurry of motion, just as it had done when Ranma first rushed him. And just as he had done at the beginning, and two times since, he moved alongside Ranma's path of travel while sweeping his cane low.  
  
The only thing that went differently, in fact, was that this time, he missed.  
  
Ranma landed in a crouch, having somersaulted up before Joshin had even moved to avoid the cane sweep. She immediately reversed direction, and positioned herself to deliver her strongest back kick, knowing that Joshin would be completing his swing slowly for purposes of showmanship.  
  
*Thwack!* Caught completely off-guard, the nobleman grunted in pain as Ranma's boot slammed into his head, and was too stunned to defend himself as Ranma laid into him with a series of punches.  
  
Joshin tried to gain some distance, only to have Ranma dash forward and then jump up, slamming him in the chin with her knee before flipping overhead.  
  
The nobleman staggered backward, and then whipped around with his cane in a defensive position, only to see Ranma holding a crouching stance a fair distance away.  
  
*An amazing comeback for Ranko! The fiery young unknown has returned from the brink of total defeat, and now seems to have the upper hand against the Akumaru challenger! What a fight!*  
  
Joshin took a moment to take out a white handkerchief and wipe the blood from his cheek, seeing how Ranma wasn't moving. "You're far more formidable than I possibly could have guessed. You have my apologies for my earlier mockery. This has been an honor."  
  
Ranma snorted. "You talk like it's already over. You giving up?"  
  
Joshin chuckled. "Hardly. I'm simply expressing my own confidence in the outcome of this battle. Or would you call it 'foolish optimism'?"  
  
"What have I told you about talking too much?" Ranma deadpanned.  
  
"Of course. I attack!" Joshin suddenly dashed to the side and moved around Ranma in a wide circle, moving so fast that Ranma found him difficult to track.  
  
When he had completed a half-circle around Ranma, Joshin skidded to a stop, and lashed his cane out in Ranma's direction.  
  
Ranma was about to dodge to the side to avoid the cane's hook when she realized that the hook was nowhere to be seen. And the chain that it was attached to was extended all the way past-  
  
"Uh oh," Ranma mumbled, feeling the chain wrap around her leg.  
  
With a mighty heave, Joshin pulled Ranma off her feet, and sent her sailing overhead, moving at such a speed that it appeared she would hit the ceiling.  
  
As soon as Ranma had reached the point where Joshin's leverage could no longer power her ascension, he snapped his arm back, intending on smashing Ranma into the floor with twice the power he had before.  
  
"Sucker," was the last thing he heard before Ranma's boot smashed into his head with his own applied force, knocking him unconscious.  
  
There was a pregnant pause as Ranma unsteadily got to her feet, very disoriented by the sudden change in velocity that Joshin had caused, even if he had assisted in cushioning her landing. Also, her stomach felt like a rickety blender that someone had put on "liquefy" and left running for 48 hours.  
  
The emcee wordlessly approached, grabbed Ranma's wrist, and hoisted it into the air. *AND THE WINNER IS: RANKO!!!*  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"I... I just don't know... Min, I have serious doubts about this," Tomas protested as his cousin dragged him through the halls of the gymnasium storage rooms and out into the parking lot.  
  
"Why? You're not really that shy around girls, are you?" Min asked. Tomas was usually pretty confident and smooth, and she knew he wasn't a virgin, so it seemed odd that he'd resist something like this.  
  
"Well, not usually, no," Tomas admitted, scratching his head beneath his head, "but we're talking about my friend's girlfriend here! Ranma already owes me for juicing his guts; he's gonna rip my arms off and roast me on a spit if I really piss him off!"  
  
"Don't worry about it," Min assured him, "if he really does get mad, then I promise I'll explain everything and get you off the hook. Ranma doesn't seem like the type to hold grudges anyway, so I wouldn't worry about it."  
  
"That's easy to say when you're after him and not his girl!" Tomas said, frustrated. "Besides... to be honest... Ranko's real cute, but at the same time I find her... well... a little intimidating."  
  
THAT stopped Min short. "You're kidding me."  
  
Tomas sighed. "You saw how she tore out in the ring back there. I knew she was capable of stuff like that. What if she doesn't take this the right way?"  
  
Min snickered. "Oh my gosh! You're actually afraid of that girl?!"  
  
Tomas twitched. "I said I was intimidated, not afraid. There's a difference. And why not? She's more than strong enough to hurt me, and I'm not going to beat her up if she gets offended."  
  
Min quickly contained her mirth, though she was still smiling. "Okay, okay, fair enough. Though I promise you that this will soften her up."  
  
Tomas gulped. "I have a REALLY bad feeling about this."  
  
"Relax!" Min insisted, spotting Ranma in the parking lot. "Ah! There she is!"  
  
Both teenagers sweatdropped as they watched the redheaded girl drop her head into a garbage can, and they could easily hear retching noises coming from the metal confines of the trash bin.  
  
"On second thought, maybe this isn't the best time..." Min decided, feeling a little queasy herself as she watched the pigtailed girl.  
  
"No, I... I've got it covered." Tomas pulled out a bottle of water that he happened to have on him, and took a deep breath as he prepared to stride forward. "Fortune rarely rewards the meek."  
  
"That's the spirit!" Min shouted supportively, clapping her cousin on the back. "I'll be over that wall keeping watch. I'll tell you if any trouble comes. Go get 'em, tiger!"  
  
Ranma groaned into the garbage can as her stomach finally settled. 'Ugh... I've had that coming since that first fall... geez, I'm a wreck... maybe I was getting in a little over my head, fighting while injured, as a girl, and without my flames.'  
  
Then she smiled. "But then again... I won."  
  
"You certainly did. Helluva victory, too."  
  
Ranma blinked and looked up to see Tomas sitting on the hood of a Honda behind her, holding up a bottle of water.  
  
"Something to wash out your mouth?" He tossed the bottle up in the air, and Ranma caught it eagerly.  
  
"Thanks man! You're the best!" Ranma eagerly opened the bottle and took in a mouthfull before spitting it out into the garbage can, ridding her mouth of its most unpleasant contents.  
  
After emptying her mouth, Ranma took a good long drink out of the bottle, making sure to leave enough to turn back into a male as soon as she found a container suitable for warming. Then she sighed and jumped back onto the car hood next to Tomas. "Man, that was rough. Good fight, though. I'd like to fight that Joshin dude when I'm feeling better."  
  
'Weird. She seems pretty comfortable around me. Maybe Min was right.' "What happened to you, anyway? You looked like you entered that fight in pretty bad shape."  
  
Ranma snorted. "You mean you don't remember? I got it from... from.... uh..." Ranma trailed off as she remembered that she was still a girl.  
  
"What? Remember what?" Tomas asked, honestly confused.  
  
"Oh! Uh, that's right, you weren't there! Sorry. It's just that I was... erm...... attacked by a Ninja! Yeah! That's it!" It was technically true, even if that wasn't what was responsible for her injury at all.  
  
"Ah..." Tomas mumbled. "Still, I find it hard to believe Ranma had you go in his place."  
  
Sensing that the girl next to him was starting to get angry, Tomas held his hands up in front of him peaceably. "Whoa, don't get me wrong! I know it's my fault he wasn't in good enough shape to fight, and I'm not blaming him or saying what he did was wrong, but I'm just surprised he'd let you go in his place, especially as you seem almost as badly injured."  
  
Ranma frowned, but decided that Tomas' reasoning was sound. "Oh, believe me, if he had had any choice at all in the matter, he would have gone, and I wouldn't have even been there. I was only there because there was no way he could've made it."  
  
Tomas nodded. "Yeah, I guess so."  
  
Ranma blinked as Tomas put an arm around her back and placed a hand on her shoulder.  
  
"Still, it was good to see you out there. You were really something." He squeezed her shoulder.  
  
"Toma-" Ranma turned to face the American, only to freeze, her eyes wide, as Tomas' lips suddenly met hers.  
  
After a moment, Tomas realized that the redhead wasn't responding, and pulled his lips and hand away.  
  
'Dang. I think I blew it.'  
  
Ranma twitched. Then she twitched again. "Tomas... I'm sorry..."  
  
'Yup, I blew it.'  
  
"But I'm going to have to kill you now."  
  
'...... Oh yeah. I blew it big time.'  
  
Ranma's aura suddenly exploded around her, shattering the Honda's front windshield in, and throwing Tomas to the ground from the sheer force of it.  
  
Tomas whimpered pitifully as the busty redhead's form was engulfed in purple flame, and his life promptly flashed before his eyes, ending, ironically, with the line Min had used to initially back up this great plan of hers: "It couldn't hurt, right?"  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Keeping watch on all traffic to the different parking lots from her position behind a separation wall, Min snickered to herself as she thought of how easily this was all going to come together.  
  
'It's perfect. I just know this is going to work out. Hell, if a guy like Tomas came onto me like that, even I'd find it hard to resist!' She was currently facing away from the parking lot where all the action was going on, to insure that she didn't get so distracted in watching her plans come together that she let anybody get through that might spoil the action, like Ranma or Kuno.  
  
Still, it was pretty tempting. "Heh," she snickered, "if only I could see those sparks fly..."  
  
*KABOOOOM!!!* Min stumbled as the very Earth shook, and gasped as a wave of residual heat washed over her from behind.  
  
"What the hell?" She turned around and peeked over the wall, only to have her vision blinded by abnormally bright flashes of purple.  
  
*FWOOM!* *FWOOM!* *KABLAM!!!* *BOOM!!* *BOOM!!*  
  
Two yellow flashes joined the purple ones as two cars' fuel tanks detonated, and Min looked away to keep the glare from hurting her eyes. In moments the explosions faded, and the sounds of screaming people running away from the school drowned out the roar of a hungry firestorm.  
  
'Well, I'm glad Mom and Dad left already, at least. How did Ranma get past me without me seeing him?' At least, she assumed it was Ranma.  
  
"AAAAAAAGH!!" Tomas landed heavily next to her and immediately rolled on the ground, having jumped over the stone wall while still on fire.  
  
"Tomas?! What's going on?! Are you okay?!"  
  
"DO I LOOK OKAY TO YOU?!?!" Tomas yelled, causing Min to wince. He was covered with burns, and had two depressions in his jacket that looked like someone had hit him hard enough to rend steel (considering Tomas' constitution, at least).  
  
*Whoosh!* Min involuntarily ducked, though being a bit shorter than the wall she was behind, she wouldn't have been struck anyway by the hurled car. The flung vehicle hurtled awkwardly through the air, and eventually stopped after crashing into, and through, a closely-knit group of trees that had been planted between the two parking lots.  
  
"Ouch. That was a Mercedes, too," Min mumbled.  
  
*KABOOOOM!!!* Tomas and Min were blasted forward as the rock wall they were hiding behind was torn apart by dark fire, the Earth once more trembling at the might of the Yagamis' heritage.  
  
Min gulped as she recovered and looked behind her to see a short figure emerge from the flaming ruins. "R-Ranko?! What-? How-? Why-?"  
  
Ranma's eye twitched as she found Tomas, and her right hand was engulfed in a large purple fireball.  
  
"WAIT!! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!!" Tomas begged, waving his hand in front of him wildly.  
  
Then he pointed at Min. "THIS WAS HER IDEA!! IT'S ALL HER FAULT!!"  
  
Min's eyes widened. "Hey! You traitor!"  
  
"OH, SHUT UP!! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!! AND YOU SAID THAT YOU'D ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY IF THINGS WENT WRONG!!" Tomas pointed a shaky finger at his cousin. "I SWEAR, SHE ARRANGED ALL OF THIS FOR HER OWN PERSONAL REASONS!! I'M JUST A PAWN IN HER SADISTIC LITTLE GAME!!"  
  
Ranma's eye twitched again, and she slowly turned toward Min. "Really?"  
  
Min gulped, and then chuckled nervously as she twiddled her fingers. "Well... uh... maybe..."  
  
*Choom!* A wave of dark flame burst from the ground and washed over the redhead's form, and Ranma slowly began to stalk toward the Ninja girl.  
  
"W-Wait! I can explain!" Min protested, waving a hand in front of her. Seeing that her protest didn't stop the rampaging teenager, she was desperately grasping for something else to stop her with when something occurred to her.  
  
"Wait a minute! You're using the Yagami flames! Are you related to Ranma?" Min asked.  
  
Ranma grit her teeth. "I AM RANMA!!"  
  
**********************************************************************************  
  
End Chapter 10 


	11. Body of Iron and Heart of Gold! The bast...

They were powerful. Quick, agile, and strong. In body, they were the epitome of the ideal human condition; toned, flexed, and shaped into powerful machines capable of utterly crushing lesser humans.

"Yuka, I really don't think we should have come this way," Sayuri said nervously as she looked at the large brick graffiti-scrawled walls that made up the seeming labyrinth of alleyways between the apartment buildings.  
Yuka swallowed deeply, and clutched her bags of purchases closer to herself. "D-Don't worry! That old man told us that there's almost no real crime in this area despite how it looks! I'm sure everyone uses this shortcut!"  
"You don't sound very sure," Sayuri mumbled sourly.

They were not any less nimble in mind. Ranging from the most scholarly of bookworms to the wisest of the street vagrants, as an entity they formed an astounding pool of almost limitless knowledge that they put to use as they saw fit. Within the ranks one could find advice and counsel on almost any manner of subject, from dating to formal protocol to the construction of atomic fission reactors.

Yuka stopped as she rounded the corner, and her breath caught in her throat as she saw three muscular young men leaning against the walls of the next alley. One was big and dark and had a mohawk, another was shorter, with a short ponytail and shades, and the last one wore thick glasses and a pressed business shirt, and would have looked extremely out of place with the other two if he did not possess a pair of thick spike-knuckle gloves.  
Sayuri bumped into her friend's back, and her eyes widened as she saw what had stopped her. "Uh oh..."  
The man with the mohawk chuckled and stood up, letting a chain dangle from his hand. "Well, well, well. What have we here?"  
The guy in shades grinned as he approached, and Yuka whimpered slightly as she saw the knives that were poorly concealed behind his black leather jacket. "Hey now, a coupl'a pretty young things like yourself shouldn't be wandering alleyways like these in an area you don't know! Who knows what kind of filthy characters you might run into? Things can get mighty dangerous 'round these parts!"  
The final man continued leaning against the wall, smirking. "It's a good thing you ran into us. Why don't you allow us to escort you to our little clubhouse for a while?" Then he looked up, still smirking. "That is, if you know what's good for you."  
Yuka gulped as Sayuri cringed and shied behind her. As the three men approached, she noticed that they all bore a similar symbol; the men with glasses had golden ankh amulets around their necks, while the larger man with the mohawk had the Egyptian mark tattooed onto his right bicep.  
"Uh oh..."

They were known as Clan Ra, the most powerful and influential teenage street gang in Tokyo.

"Would you like some more tea?" The man with the mohawk asked, holding up the pot.  
Yuka nodded, smiling. "Oh, yes, please!" She waited patiently as he refilled her cup, and then raised it to her lips. "Wow! Is this mint? It's so flavorful!"  
Mohawk nodded. "It's a family recipe. Mint with extra honey, and another special secret ingredient!" He smiled warmly at her. "I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you."  
Yuka chuckled lightly at that, and then immediately changed the subject, not daring to speculate upon whether he was joking or not. "This place is absolutely gorgeous! Were all these walls concrete before you decorated it?"  
He nodded again, and clapped his hands together. "Oh, I am SO glad you like it! You know, I'm ALWAYS bugging Raven to talk to Hashiru and get him to spend more money on the decor around here, but I swear, the man has NO taste for aesthetics!"  
Across the room, Sayuri was chatting amiably with the man wearing sunglasses, who was cheerfully peeling an apple for her.  
"I'm very glad you agreed to let us escort you! It really can be a bit dangerous around here, and I'd feel just AWFUL if a coupla girls were hurt on our turf!" Shades finished peeling the apple and handed it to Sayuri, who took it gratefully.  
"Thank you for your hospitality!" Sayuri said, nodding her head before taking a bite. After swallowing, she blushed a bit as she looked at him. "You know, the way things had looked for a moment... I actually thought... well, I thought you might-"  
Shades cut her off with a chuckle and a wave of his hand. "Oh, don't worry yourself about that. In fact, I'm actually gay!"  
Sayuri blinked. "Oh. Okay then." Then she looked across the room, where the mohawk guy was showing off his window box garden to Yuka. "So, is he also...?"  
"No, he's just a little too in touch with his feminine side," Shades said bluntly, sweatdropping.  
Just then, the third man entered the main lounge of the club, carrying the two girls' bags of purchases.  
"Well, I called a cab and paid the fare for you. Here's a snack bar if you get hungry on your way home, and a complimentary collector's edition Clan Ra ankh amulet!" He handed one of each of the items to the girls as they stood up to leave.  
Yuka bowed along Sayuri. "Thank you so much for your kindness! Is there any way we can make it up to you?"  
Mohawk laughed. "Oh, don't be silly! Helping out innocent pedestrians is our duty as martial artists and concerned citizens! Your safety and well-being is the greatest reward we could possibly desire!"

Yes, the mighty and fearsome Clan Ra ruled the back alleyways of Nerima with an iron fist, hammering chaos into crude order, and forging discipline from rebellious energy. Focusing their body and mind to an extent never dreamed of by the common street thug, they had risen to become an army in and of themselves; a fighting force bound by a level of brotherhood as deep as blood. This is not their story. But it is the story of one would dare to challenge them.

Yagami 1/2  
A Ranma 0.5/King of Fighters Crossover  
by Black I don't own Ranma, or Iori, or Nodoka, or Ryoga, or Kuno, or the Tendos, or Shampoo, or Yurumi. I think I gave Yurumi to someone else. If whoever I gave her to is reading this, I'd like her back, please. I do, however, own the color purple.

Chapter 11  
Body of Iron and Heart of Gold! The Bastard Yamazaki!

Hana yawned as she passed through the gate of the small mansion, her brother falling into step behind her.  
"All I'm saying is, you do well enough that you can take a little more time off. You got hurt really bad, and Hashi could set you up to take as much time off as you need to until you recover."  
Joshin strode along behind her, remaining silent. He had bandage wrappings around his forehead and jaw and a gauze patch over one eye, testament to the battle he had fought at St. Hebereke. While the man was technically functional in every way that mattered, he still looked rather worse for wear, and while Hana didn't mention it, the medical items applied to his face made his usual over-dignified mannerisms look nothing short of idiotic.  
"I'm well enough to partake of regular lessons. A minor fluke like this can't be allowed to damage my reputation any more than it already has." Joshin said, utterly serious.  
Hana snorted as the two siblings reached the front door of the mansion. "A 'fluke' you say. Personally, I wouldn't call that girl's last move 'lucky'. She did taunt you right before you lost consciousness."  
Joshin twitched, but said nothing.  
Hana pressed the doorbell besides the looming white double doors, and then stepped back the proper distance as she waited for the servant to answer.  
While Hashiru didn't present a "rich boy" image like Joshin did, his mother was the one of the heiresses of her father, having shared the inheritance with Hana's own mother. While not particularly influential or powerful, their families did possess enough money to live comfortably without any trouble.  
Hashiru hadn't taken to a life of easy living and luxury very well, though, and had become far more interested in the side of wealth that had to do with power. Using that power he had managed to acquire training from all manner of street fighters and professional masters, even those who typically didn't do the type of "combat tutoring" that he had always required. After he had exceeded their abilities he dismissed them just as quickly, turning his attention toward talent that wasn't available for hire. All the while he pushed his own body to the limit, while developing his own style that was based entirely off of video footage from the old King of Fighters tournaments.  
The reason for why he studied from the flimsy, choppy film was simple: there was no other record, visual or instructional, of Ryuji Yamazaki's fighting style.  
The heavy door opened, and Hana bowed as a formally dressed butler bowed back.  
"Ah, the young Master and Mistress Keitoro. Master Hashiru will be down in a moment." The servant straightened as he spoke, and stepped to the side to allow the teenagers to enter.  
Hana had imagined it had taken some time for Hashiru to train all the servants to call and refer to him as Hashiru rather than his surname Yamazaki. While his mother didn't mind taking the name of her runaway husband, her son found his blood connection to the murderous psycho despicable, and demanded that everyone call him by his first name.  
"Ah, I see you've gotten into a bit of a scrape, Master Keitoro. Has Master Hashiru been stepping up your combat training again?" The butler asked. Normally it wouldn't be his place to pry, but there were certain tasks he was expected to undertake if his charge was going to start staying out at night fighting.  
Hana smirked. "No, brother dear just got in a fight with a little redheaded girl, and she kicked his face in, that's all."  
The servant raised an eyebrow, and waited for the older boy to sputter a contradiction or protest of some sort. When none came, the butler's eye twitched, and he turned away to walk toward the kitchen, mumbling to himself the whole way.  
"I warned them about coming to Nerima... 'It's dangerous,' I said, 'there are all sorts of crazy men and women fighting at all hours of the day,' but no, no! I'm just the butler! What do I know?"  
Hana sweatdropped, and went back to waiting for her cousin at the foot of the large stairwell that rose up to the second floor of the mansion.  
She had wondered why Hashiru didn't get his name changed, and perhaps even break his ties to his family if he despised his father's legacy so much. Whenever people asked him about it, he told them that he kept his surname as a mark of shame for what his father had done to his family; impregnating his mother, stealing as much as he could carry, and then running off to God-knows-where.  
"Oh my gosh, I'm SO late!"  
Hana jerked her head up as she heard an unfamiliar girl's voice at the top of the stairs, and then watched with a perfectly neutral expression as a leggy brunette rushed down the stairwell, trying to do the buttons on her blouse with one hand while toting a leather bookbag with the other.  
Without stopping to acknowledge the siblings standing near the door, the young woman rushed outside, still trying to make order of her dishelved clothing.  
Hana's left eye twitched.  
After a few moments her cousin appeared at the top of the stairs, smiling down while descending. "Hey, there ya are! You feelin' okay Joshin?"  
"Well enough," Joshin replied simply, drawing himself up and looking even more foolish.  
Hana rubbed her forehead irritably and jabbed a thumb out the front door. "So Hashi, who was that?"  
"Her?" Hashiru smiled, and then rubbed his chin. "Oh, she's just... well... she... uh..." he frowned. "Come to think of it, I don't think I ever got her name."  
Hana grit her teeth. "Disgusting! Now you're not even bothering to keep track of your conquests?"  
Hashiru frowned at her and looked away indignantly as he finished descending the stairs. "I don't make 'conquests', I just like to have fun! Nothing wrong with that."  
"Nothing wrong with being a womanizing slimeball?" Hana challenged, looking quite cross.  
"Aw, you're just angry 'cause you can never get a date." Ignoring his younger cousins' livid fury, Hashiru turned toward his older cousin. "Yo, you sure you're alright? You're still looking a bit rickety."  
Joshin frowned. "I'm fine. Though my sustained injuries still haven't healed fully, I am fully capable of continuing with my classes. Although..."  
"Although what?" Hashiru asked.  
Joshin frowned even deeper. "Though I will admit my loss to be... fair, there is the matter of my knockout that I am most displeased with... she broke my monocle."  
Hashiru and Hana sweatdropped, the latter feeling her anger evaporate with the distraction.  
"That girl almost shattered your jaw, broke your nose, gave you a black eye AND a concussion, and you're worried about that stupid lens?" Hana muttered.  
Joshin twitched. "It was NOT a 'stupid lens', it was a custom-crafted monocle with a specially molded platinum frame! I had to search for months to find a shop to craft the glass just right with the-"  
"I'll buy ya a new one," Hashiru interrupted, hoping to stop his cousin before he got the opportunity to really start ranting. There were few things the gang leader found more pathetic than a rich man whining about the loss of a needlessly expensive fashion accessory.  
He was actually very disappointed in Joshin's battle, not only because he hadn't gotten to see Ranma fight, but because Joshin suffered such a loss against an obviously injured high school girl who hadn't even pulled out any special techniques or abilities. Besides looking like an arrogant jerk for all the ranting he had done, Joshin had been bedridden from injuries that Hashiru or even Raven would have recovered from in a day.  
He supposed it couldn't be helped, though. Joshin was a typical rich guy, used to dishing it out rather than taking it. Hardly a wimp, but definitely not cut from the same "rough and tumble" mold that Hashiru was.  
Shoving one hand into his pocket per his usual demeanor, Hashiru walked past his relatives while fingering the large golden ankh that hung from around his neck. "Let's hurry. I have to drop someone else off at Furinkan along with Hana."  
The brunette blinked in surprise, then grimaced. 'This CAN'T be good.'

"There! There he is! Now's our chance! Go apologize, now!" Min immediately tried to push her cousin forward down the hall, but the American quickly grabbed his locker for extra leverage as he held his position.  
"No way! I'm not getting anywhere near him! Do you realize how lucky we are to be alive right now?!" Tomas growled and tried not to look at the figure across the long line of school lockers, whose black jacket stood out easily among the river of plain school uniforms moving past it.  
Min smiled cheerfully, trying to persuade her cousin. "Oh, come on! It's been two days since that whole mess! You don't really think he's still angry about it, do you? Ranma's not the type to hold a grudge! And it's not like he hurt us after you... well, you know."  
When the street fighter turned and glared at her, Min felt like smacking herself in the head. While Ranma had stomped off in a rage after revealing that he was the redheaded girl, he had attacked Tomas quite savagely before that point.  
"Well, okay, fine, so he hurt you a **little**."  
"He threw a freaking CAR at me!" Tomas hissed between clenched teeth. "And all because of your stupid plan! YOU go apologize!"  
Min grimaced and drew away. "I can't! What if he hates me because of that whole mess?"  
"Then I don't see how my going first would make any difference," Tomas insisted, crossing his arms over his chest.  
After Ranma had left without any explanation other than "I AM Ranma", the two Bogards had eventually run into Shampoo, who apparently knew the whole story, and had explained the curse to them. After all that, Tomas could hardly blame the boy for being more upset than he was about the whole affair; while he had kissed a girl who was really a guy and lost a potential girlfriend, Ranma had to live with turning female on a regular basis.  
"Just... please! We can't just avoid him forever! We need to settle this!" Min insisted, grabbing Tomas' hands in her own.  
Tomas looked her dead in the eyes. "Min... are you seriously so apathetic about all this?"  
The Ninja girl looked startled, and moved back slightly. "What... What do you mean?"  
Tomas sighed. "Min, the guy turns into a girl. You really don't care about that?" Min began to say something, but he continued before she could. "I'm not saying you should, or that this makes Yagami any less of a man or whatever, but that's easy for me to say; he's just a friend to me." Seeing his cousin frown, he gently removed his hands from hers. "You have a more serious relationship in mind, and I get the feeling that you're just pretending like it doesn't exist, rather than deciding that it doesn't matter. If you do that... you're just going to end up getting hurt in the long run."  
Min flinched, then lowered her head as she sighed miserably. "Well...... I... maybe I haven't thought that much about it... but-"  
"Though about what?"  
"GEEP!" Both Bogards jumped to face Ranma as he spoke up behind them, and then they started backing away nervously.  
"R-R-Ranma! Sorry to bother you! We'll j-just be on our w-way to class!" Tomas stuttered out.  
Ranma jabbed a thumb behind him as he spoke with a neutral expression. "Your class is that way."  
"We'll go around!" Min shouted, preparing to flee. "Bye!"  
Before the blondes could put any speed to their escape, Ranma grabbed each one by a shoulder to hold them in place.  
'We're dead.' They each thought, visions of a fiery demise flashing through their minds. Ranma had probably just put off their punishment so that he could show the whole school what happens to those that cross him.  
"Min... and... especially you, Tomas..." Ranma began, his tone of voice betraying nothing.  
'This is it!'  
"I'm sorry," he finally spat out.  
Neither of the Bogards unfroze, though their thoughts were busy twisting their minds into knots.  
"You're... wait... YOU'RE sorry?" Tomas mumbled.  
"F-For what?" Min asked timidly, not daring to turn around.  
Ranma looked about, and then realized that his antics had drawn a crowd, as usual. Grabbing the other fighters by the arms, he quickly dragged them into the nearest classroom.  
Upon entering, he noted to his satisfaction that the room was empty, save for a single teacher preparing his notes.  
The teacher blinked, then frowned. "You're not my students. What are you doing here?"  
Ranma cleared his throat, and then pointed past him toward the door. "I just have to have a little chat with my friends here, in private. Could you leave us alone for a little bit?"  
The teacher snorted. "No. This is my classroom, and I have to prepare my-"  
Ranma interrupted him while raising a single index finger. "Get out NOW, or I'll light your tie on fire," he growled.  
Fwoosh A small, but highly visible purple flame burst from Ranma's fingertip, and the middle-aged man shuddered a bit in intimidation before grabbing his notes and fleeing into the hallway.  
This didn't do anything to help soothe Tomas and Min's nerves, but the two fighters patiently waited for Ranma to begin while trying not to contemplate being pulled aside and then beaten.

Ranma took a deep breath to calm himself, then turned around and bowed to Tomas.  
"Tomas, I apologize for going nuts and attacking you without restraint back at St. Hebereke."  
The street fighter slowly raised an eyebrow. "So... you're not mad? Really?"  
Ranma crossed his arms over his chest. "I WAS, but then I sat down and really thought about it." He sighed. "When you get right down to it, what happened wasn't really your fault, I guess. I deliberately convinced you and everyone who didn't know about my curse that 'Ranko' was a genuine woman. So when I thought of it that way, I decided that I have no right to get angry at you for letting me fool you." He nodded decisively. "I don't have many good friends, so it's not like I can just go kill one whenever he makes some dumb mistake like that."  
Looking up at an astounded Tomas, Ranma extended his right hand. "So, do ya forgive me?"  
Tomas blinked, then grabbed Ranma's hand heartily, shaking it with a relieved smile on his face. "Oh, sure! No problem! Don't mention it!"  
"I won't," Ranma said seriously. "And neither will you. Otherwise I'm going to rip out your intestines and strangle you with them."  
After being satisfied that Tomas was sufficiently cowed, Ranma turned toward Min.  
"Now, Min... well, I didn't really do anything to ya to apologize for, other than yelling, but I guess I should apologize anyway. I mean, you were just trying to help your cousin get a date, and if I had just been honest then none o' this woulda happened."  
"Oh, don't be silly! I understand completely!" Min laughed nervously and scratched the back of her head, thankful for Ranma's limited understanding of what had happened.  
"Also, I hope you won't use this as another excuse to try and kill me."  
Min blanched as Tomas sweatdropped.  
"But-! But I-! I don't wa-"  
The young Yagami clansman cleared his throat again, interrupting her.. "Also... I know it may seem odd after what I just said about bein' honest and all, but could you try and keep this quiet? As much as possible, I mean." He sighed. "I don't want you to get in trouble or nothing 'cause I'm hiding it, but I'm still not comfortable enough with the curse that I want everybody knowing about it."  
"Oh, of course!" Tomas agreed, trying to shove Min back as she continued to sputter desperately.  
Ranma smiled in satisfaction, then turned away and headed out of the classroom. The Bogards lagged behind for a moment, Tomas covering his heart and sighing deeply in relief, Min holding her forehead and groaning miserably.  
Upon exiting the classroom, Ranma was about to locate the teacher he had thrown out and inform him that his room was vacant once more, when some commotion a short ways down the hall caught his eye.

Hana wearily lifted her arm and pointed at the pigtailed boy who had just stepped out into the hall. "That's him right there. In the black jacket."  
Ranma looked at her questioningly, and she began to panic.  
"I-I'm just answering his question! I'm not part of this, I swear!" She shouted helplessly, clutching her bookbag to her chest.  
Ranma accepted this easily enough, and shrugged before he returned his gaze to the looming, muscle-bound figure of a man standing behind his classmate. He was a massive seven-foot tall bald man with the build of a wrestler, wearing a gray long coat that seemed to be stretched thin over his frame, despite probably being the largest size of that item that any store kept in stock. The only other items of clothing he wore was a pair of black sweat pants and giant, heavy boots with metal plates on the toes and shinguards. Tattooed on his bare chest was a giant ankh done in black ink.  
"Yo." The giant said, sneering at Ranma.  
"'Sup?" Ranma responded, hands in his pockets.  
The man pointed at the pigtailed boy, his ugly face grinning malevolently. "I challenge you, Ranma Yagami! In the name of Clan Ra, today you will know defeat!"  
Gasps traveled throughout the hallway.

"Clan Ra? Seriously?"  
"How horrible! A street gang targeting people?"  
"I heard they're all bloodthirsty murderers!"  
"I heard they're all ex-convicts that broke loose!"  
"**I** heard that they're good Samaritans with an image problem."  
"That'd be pretty weird, huh?"  
"If the shoe fits..."

Standing behind Ranma and moving away from the conflict to give the fighters room, Tomas was speaking to Min as he looked over the hulking street tough.  
"So what is this 'Clan Ra'? Sounds like a street gang, but I've never seen any street punk with an aura like this guy's!"  
Min decided to forgo any argument that Tomas and many of his associates could easily be called 'street punks', and just answered his question.  
"Clan Ra is the only street gang that ever managed to keep territory in Nerima, because of our unusually high martial artist population. They say that Ra actually uses that to their advantage, recruiting fighters that wish to utilize their skills more often, or students that are rejected from their original schools because of poor discipline or ethics."  
Tomas frowned. "That doesn't sound too bad... at least, compared to some of the gangs in South Town."  
Min shrugged, though she watched the giant fighter anxiously. "I don't really know how bad they are; there are so many conflicting rumors about Clan Ra that they almost seem more like a secret society than a gang. Some people say they're an evil army, some say they're a community of super-humans with giant IQs and unbelievable physical skills, and some people say that they're essentially violent boy scouts." She shrugged again. "Oddly enough, the rumors about Ra don't fall into any gray areas."

Ranma looked critically at the hulk of a man before him, and then scratched his chin as he spoke.  
"So, you wanna challenge me, huh?" He frowned. "Normally I wouldn't have a problem with that, but..."  
The street tough grinned maliciously. "But WHAT?"  
Ranma jabbed his thumb down the hall, not reacting to his opponent's attitude. "But my class is starting in two minutes, and I get marked down pretty often for this sort of thing already. So..."  
"Oh! So sorry, then!" To Ranma's surprise, the giant smiled and slapped the back of his head. "Stupid me, issuing a challenge in the morning at a school! So, when would be a good time for you?"  
Ranma cocked his head to one side. "Well, my English class only lasts an hour. I can fight you during passing period."  
"Excellent! Excellent!" The punk said happily, earning sweatdrops from the surrounding students. "I'll just wait right outside for you then!" He happily strode down to the end of the hall, then turned around to wave to Ranma before reaching the exit. "Good luck with your classes!"  
"Uh... thanks!" Ranma said, sweatdropping. 'Man, these last few challenges have been really mellow... oh well, I guess I shouldn't complain. Better than having Ryoga after me again.'

Ryoga stifled a sneeze as he stood in front of the restaurant in front of him, focusing his aura for the task at hand.  
The Yama-sen ken techniques had proven to be a Godsend for him; his normal style of fighting, which relied upon sheer strength and speed to overwhelm lesser foes, simply lacked any surprises potent enough to combat Ranma's natural fighting ability, never mind his flame powers. While his weapon skills had helped him a little in that respect, they hadn't been enough. A more formidable and dynamic martial arts base was obviously needed, rather than simply another trick that could be worked around.  
"FREEZE!!!" Ryoga's voice boomed through the small mountain valley, and he immediately dashed toward the front door of the restaurant.  
"_Moko kaimon ha_!!" He shouted, kicking one leg straight forward while following by sticking his hands into the shattered hole in the doors and then spreading his arms out, completely pulverizing them in a split second. Splintered wood fell down beside him, and he grinned and clenched his hand into a fist as he looked about at all the people staring at him with wide eyes, frozen in fear.  
He had taken another scroll, which detailed some other techniques known collectively as the "Umi-sen ken", but Ryoga had skimmed that and then put it back where he'd found it. While interesting, the scroll was very clear in that its principles embodied subtlety. Ryoga knew quite well that he possessed all the subtlety of a hurricane, so he had easily dismissed the entire idea.  
The "1000 mountains fist" seemed to fit his repertoire quite well though. In fact, in such a short time after he had left Tokyo, he now only had one remaining Yama-sen ken technique to master.  
The shopkeeper gulped and began to inch toward the cash register as the stranger approached. Hopefully the man would simply take the shops money and not rob everyone else; in a location as remote as his shop was, he only had a few regular customers, and he'd never recover if they lost their money too.  
Ryoga approached the front counter calmly, and slowly slung his backpack off of his shoulders with one hand while fishing in his pocket with the other.  
Slam! The shopkeeper flinched back as the wanderer slammed a palm flat on the counter before him.  
"Give me all the food that I can get for this much!" Ryoga demanded.  
The shopkeeper blinked, as did every other person in the restaurant.  
"It's to go," Ryoga added, remembering that the supplies would do him little good if served in open bowls and plates.  
"You're... You're paying for it?" The elderly man asked cautiously, glancing at the crumpled bills that Ryoga had placed on the counter.  
Ryoga frowned. "Of course I'm paying for it! Do I look like a robber to you?"  
"O-Of c-course not sir! Right away sir!" The shopkeeper quickly ducked behind the counter and began sorting through his wares, intent on getting the man before him on his way as soon as possible.  
Ryoga grit his teeth and clenched his hand into a fist, raising it up before him. 'Just wait Yagami! With the power of the Yama-sen ken, nothing can stand before me! Your days are numbered!'

Min covertly glanced at Ranma for what she swore had to have been the thousandth time since class begin and shook her head. 'He sure is taking this calmly. Does he know about Ra's reputation? Or is he just that confident in his abilities?'  
For what was a truly odd scenario in the classroom, Ranma was the only one paying any level of attention to the lecture. Everyone else was either whispering about the upcoming match after class, passing notes to discuss the match, ask questions about Clan Ra, and make wagers, or staring at Ranma and wondering why he wasn't more interested in his own fight. Even Akane Tendo, as removed as she tried to be from Ranma's affairs, was looking anxious about it.  
Ranma, for his part, was paying some attention to the teacher, but mostly doodling on his notebook. In most situations he would be just as distracted as the rest of the class, being busy working out combat strategies, analyzing a foe's fighting style, or experimenting with flame formations in his mind.  
However, he found these newest strings of challenges, with fighters coming out of nowhere and asking him to fight battles with no grudge or stakes, oddly soothing. It was rare that he fought anything but battles of purpose, where failure would bring swift consequences or even death; he could get used to fighting matches just for the fun of it.  
BRIIIIIIIIIING!! The bell rang, jerking all of those students who weren't watching the clock already out of their distractions.  
"Okay class," the teacher began, turning toward the chalkboard, "I want you to do exercises-"  
The man was cut off by a sudden stampede out of the front door, and by the time he turned around to check if anyone was leaving, the entire room was empty save himself and a singled pigtailed boy.  
The teacher blinked. "Yagami? YOU'RE the only one left?"  
Ranma sweatdropped. "Uh... looks like it. And you know I'm not gonna do the homework anyway, so..."  
Seeing the teacher sigh forlornly and start to pack up his things, Ranma moved toward a window and prepared to make way toward his battlefield.  
"Oh yeah. I could **definitely** get used to this."

Min crept down the hallway along the wall, scanning the flow of students as they rushed past her. Some were heading toward their next classes, but most were headed toward the main field out in front to watch the upcoming battle. She assumed Tomas was with them, and in turn she expected that he assumed her to be on her way.  
However, the Ninja girl had a higher priority at the moment. She would have loved to watch Ranma beat down his latest challenger (she was perceptive enough to see that the behemoth of a man lacked the dexterity to fight Ranma on an equal footing), but she had been thinking about the challenge and its link to Clan Ra all throughout English, and had found some leads buried in her memory.  
"Ah ha. There she is." Grinning, Min tightened her control of her aura around her as she began to move, and zipped through the crowd toward her target. It was a fairly straightforward, if not difficult to master, Ninja trick that her mother had passed down to her; the user pulled in her natural energies around to make her perceived presence smaller. While the technique didn't allow for anything so fantastic as turning invisible, it did make the user almost undetectable among a crowd, especially to anyone who wasn't looking for her.  
Thus, Hana was caught completely by surprise as she was snatched around the waist and then shoved into a broom closet before she even had time to react.  
Trying to regain her wits, the brunette stumbled backward into the wall, raising her arms for defense. She immediately gauged that her attacker didn't intend to harm her, seeing how she had been released rather than thrown, so she decided to play it cool rather than try to fight back right away.  
Min quickly shut the door behind her as the smaller girl got her bearings. Then the Shiranui Ninja released control of her ki and flicked on the light switch on the wall.  
Hana swallowed deeply as she saw who it was who had trapped her. Min looked down at her expressionlessly, standing up straight with a single combat fan in one hand, which she kept closed.  
"Wh-What do YOU want?" Hana stuttered, quite aggravated by the whole situation.  
"I want to know your connection with Clan Ra," Min said bluntly, "then I want to know everything you know about them. And THEN I want to know why they're targeting Ranma like this."  
Hana raised an eyebrow. "And what makes you think I have anything to do with Ra?"  
"Two things," Min said, raising two fingers of her unoccupied hand. "One, you were the one who led that big goon in here. Coincidence? Maybe. Two, I saw you sitting next to that group of fighters at St. Hebereke the other day. It didn't really hit me until I thought back on it, 'cause of how quickly everything spun out with the battles and all, but the guy who was announcing said that Clan Ra was responsible for the second match. Another coincidence?" She crossed her arms under her chest. "Well, it falls to you to convince me it is."  
Hana growled. "I don't owe you any explanations!"  
"True," Min admitted, "now stop stalling and tell me what I want to know, pipsqueak."  
"Erk!" Hana flattened her back against the wall at the taller girl's eyes narrowed, and fought the urge to tremble. "Are you th-threatening m-me?!"  
"Yes," Min said simply, taking one step forward. Inwardly, she smiled. Lock picking, stealth, and interrogation were all Ninja skills that had been handed down from her mother unto her, and she had worked hard to further all her talents, rather than concentrating almost exclusively on combat, like Mai did. While she recognized that solving her problems with stealth and cunning took some bite out of her efforts when she attempted to resort to brute force, she thought the balance of abilities were far more befitting of a Ninja.  
Hana swallowed. If Min was seriously going to hurt her for not talking, there wasn't a thing stopping her, and Hana doubted she was strong enough to hurt the Ninja girl at all in a fight, assuming she could even touch her.  
'Okay, just play it cool...' "Fine, whatever. If you want to cause all this trouble over nothing..." She turned her head away. "My brother and cousin happen to be part of Clan Ra, alright? Sometimes I get dragged along with them, that's all."  
Min nodded, her face still neutral. "Okay, good. Now tell me what you know about them. Why are they targeting-"  
Suddenly the door to the closet opened, and Min grit her teeth and turned around with a glare, intending to quickly scare away the intruder and get back to her questioning.  
"What do you wa-T-T-Tomas!" Min squeaked, jumping back as her cousin frowned at her.  
Tomas looked past Min toward the schoolgirl that was pressed into a corner, almost sitting on top of a mop bucket. "Min, what is this? I thought you were going to watch the fight, but instead you grab this girl, and... what are you doing to her?" His frown deepened when he saw the combat fan that Min clenched in one hand.  
The Ninja girl tracked his gaze, and then chuckled nervously as she snatched both hands behind her back to hide them.  
Unfortunately, before Min could began to generate any excuses, Hana pushed past her and dove into Tomas' arms, wrapping the surprised street fighter in a desperate embrace.  
"Please help me! She said she'd beat me up if I didn't tell her what she wanted!" She cried fretfully, displaying none of the collected backbone that she had possessed just moments ago.  
"Hey! You little brat! I never said I was going to beat you up!" Min protested.  
Much to the Ninja's distress, Tomas fixed her with a hard gaze and turned away so that his back was between Hana and Min.  
"Min, I can't believe you! Threatening a helpless schoolgirl like this is below you! What were you thinking?!" Tomas glared back at her, and Hana stuck her head out to the side of his body so that she could stick her tongue out at the taller girl.  
"But... But I-"  
Not waiting for his cousin to offer an explanation, Tomas helped Hana away from the broom closet, as well as the frustrated Shinobi within it. Once he was an appropriate distance away, Tomas gently held the girl at arms' length away from him and looked her in the eyes.  
"Hey, are you alright? She didn't shove you around or anything, did she?"  
Hana found herself blushing as she stared up into the American's eyes through her glasses. "N-No, she d-didn't hurt me. Yet."  
Tomas frowned again. "I don't know what got into her, but I don't think you were in any danger. Min doesn't like fighting people who can't fight back, and she doesn't take the whole 'Ninja' thing as seriously as it might seem at first."  
"E-Even so, thank you very much for rescuing me!" Hana said a little too loudly, blushing even harder as she bowed to him.  
Tomas smiled slightly and tipped his hat to her. "Hey, no sweat. Take it easy, okay?"

Hana couldn't help but sigh deeply as she watched the American grab his cousin and drag her away through the hall, lecturing the whole time.  
'Wow... with all the time I've spent admiring Yagami, I never noticed, but that American guy is really cute... and so muscular... and what timing! Just like a knight in shining armor!'  
She began blushing again as she began to lose herself in a bubbly fantasy, the real world fading away around her.  
Rrrrrrumble The increasing intensity of a local tremor, caused by dozens of students stampeding through the halls, was insufficient to bring her back to reality. And while the dialogue that accompanied it did manage to pierce the pleasant fog in her brain, she didn't realize the incoming danger until it was too late.  
"Fight!!"  
"Yahoo!"  
"Screw math, Yagami's fighting again!!"  
"Is it Kuno again?"  
"No, it's some new guy!"  
"Ow! I just stubbed my toe on something!"  
And so the mob of careless martial arts enthusiasts proceeding to the scene of the battle, none ever noticing the helpless girl they had trampled in the process.  
"...... Medic..."

"HRAAAAUGH!!" CRASH!!  
Ranma flipped to the side as the massive iron weight attached to the heavy chain slammed into the ground.  
Smirking, the pigtailed boy dove into his opponent's defenses, and began to jab at random points over the man's torso, not even bothering to aim for critical points.  
Grimacing, the massive fighter threw his arms down to try and trap Ranma in a bear hug, only to have the wily teen jump straight up through his arms and then kick off his forehead to gain distance.  
Ranma landed easily outside of the larger man's arm reach, smiling, but a little disappointed. With two days to heal the throbbing pain and sensitivity caused by Tomas' _aurora fang_ had passed; even if he wasn't technically in top condition yet, he was now able to fight again at top strength and speed.  
Unfortunately, that meant that he outclassed this fellow as a fighter in the way that a cruise missile outclassed a pipe bomb. In his current condition he figured that he could fight Joshin again and win without really cutting loose or resorting to his flames; his present opponent wasn't anywhere near the aristocrat's level.  
The giant thug brought his chain up and began to swing it around in a tight circle, aiming to fling the weight directly at his opponent.  
He did so, and the oversized iron block sailed straight for the pigtailed boy, who merely jump up TOWARD the weight and landed on top of it before running along the large chain that was still held taught by the force carrying the bludgeon at the end.  
Ranma smirked as he sped toward the surprised brawler. "It's OVER!! _Koto... Tsuki... IN_!!"  
Whack! Smacking his palm into the bigger man's face, Ranma jumped forward off the chain, pulling his opponent with him and slamming the giant into the ground.  
FWOOSH! Fire exploded around the giant in dark blossoms as the second phase of the attack took effect, and Ranma turned away as the thug cried out in pain.  
"Hm. Not bad, I **guess**..." Ranma allowed, still facing away from his foe. "But really man, if you're too big to start moving, then at least work on the defense. You should be able to take WAY more damage than that."  
A sudden gasp came from the surrounding crowd of spectators as a burnt, twitching hand rose up behind Ranma.  
Quickly swiping a hand at his prone opponent, Ranma walked away before the nearly unconscious man crossed that critical threshold in a violent burst of purple fire.  
'So that's Clan Ra, huh? They're good. Just not good enough to handle me.' Ranma smirked as he walked away from the charred crater, hands in his pockets. 'I have the feeling the next couple of days are gonna be REAL interesting...'

Min whistled to herself as she strolled jauntily through the alleyway, clutching her bookbag behind her as she projected feminine innocence all about.  
Of course, the Ninja girl wasn't being quite as subtle as she hoped she was, as just about any girl knew that it was a bad idea to walk noisily through dark alleyways in gang territory. However, Min was confident that her ruse would be accepted anyway; street toughs weren't known for their tact or rationale, and she was confident that she presented an attractive enough package that even a wary thug would be tempted to try his luck.  
'Just let those Ra goons try and approach me! If I can't get information from that four-eyed brat, I'll just beat it out of the source!'  
It wasn't long before she rounded a corner, and was immediately presented with two young men who were looking over a skateboard critically.  
The shorter of the two jerked his head toward her immediately, and his eyes widened in surprise. "Whoa! Check HER out!"  
As the taller man turned to look, Min backed away with a fearful expression.  
The bigger thug smiled. "Hey there baby! You lost?"  
"Um... I... uh..." Min swallowed nervously. 'Come on, you idiot monkeys...'  
The shorter one frowned. "Hey there, whatsa matter? A girl with an aura like yours can't be scared o' us!"  
"Grk!" Min nearly fell over in surprise as her nervous act collapsed. 'These second-rate goons can detect auras? This might be harder than I thought...'  
"So, are you lost, or what?" The taller man asked, approaching. "Or are you here to sign up with Ra or something?"  
Min dropped the helpless girl act, and stepped forward slowly while she chuckled nervously. "Well, it's kind of embarrassing."  
The larger street fighter stepped up right in front of her. "What? You need help or something?"  
"Yes..." Min mumbled, reaching into her bookbag. "Or something..."  
Shing! Whack! Thwack! The gang member stumbled backward as Min's fan cut across his chest, and he dropped into unconsciousness as she slammed the handle of that same weapon into the side of his head, followed by a punishing roundhouse to the same spot.  
Min was about to turn toward the second man and began an interrogation, but instead barely dodged in time to avoid the edges of three throwing knives that had been aimed at her side.  
Before she could arrange an attack, however, that same man threw out a chain in the predicted direction of her dodge, wrapping around her waist before the Ninja girl could adjust to her foe's apparent prowess.  
Slam! Min grunted as she was swung into the concrete wall of the alley, and glared at her opponent as he rushed forward to kick her before she recovered.  
Crack! The street fighter winced as Min jumped up high and his sneaker smacked into hard concrete instead. Then he immediately turned around to defend himself... only to find nothing behind him.  
Thump!  
Min grinned as her knee drove the punk's head into the ground, having dropped straight down on top of him from where she had latched onto the wall.  
Then she frowned. Two thugs down, and she had already taken a solid hit and had nobody to squeeze for information. If someone found these two, then they would surely alert the other fighters in the immediate area, and after the kind of struggle the small punk had put up, she wasn't quite as confident in her ability to smash her way through the gang's ranks that she was when she had set out on her mission.  
A fleeting uneasy feeling was all the warning she had, and before her conscious mind had even worked out a plan, the Shiranui Shinobi dove for the shadows of another alley.

Another young man and a woman of about the same age burst from a nearby door that lined the wall of the back alley, scanning the long, concrete halls that they patrolled.  
"I'm sure I heard a really hard impact just now!" The man said through clenched teeth. "It was coming from... oh geez! Hikiochi!"  
Spotting his fallen friend, (and not yet noticing the one who had been kicked behind the garbage cans), the street tough gripped his bo staff more tightly and sprinted down the alleyway before his companion could gather the speed to follow.  
The girl began to run after him, but then managed to catch a blur of motion off to her right.  
Whack! Before she knew what was happening, she had suffered a solid blow to her right temple, and was then shoved hard into the alley wall.  
The fighter who had rushed over to check on his friend whirled as he heard an attack upon his companion, but was unable to find anything other than her unconscious body, which had been hurled against a wall.  
Swallowing deeply, the young man attempted to stretch out his senses, expanding his awareness beyond the flawed receptors of his eyes and ears...  
Ahem "Can you help me?"  
"GYAH!!" He shouted in surprise as a girl's voice came from behind him, and jumped around into a fighting stance. Then his jaw went slack, and he gaped openly at the young woman who had startled him.  
Min giggled and straightened, well aware of the effect that the movement had on her breasts while dressed in her special Ninja outfit. After taking out the girl, Min had reasoned that she might not be able to incapacitate any of the gang's fighters without knocking them out completely. With a quick change of clothes, however, she could easily find other ways to extract information.  
"So," Min said pleasantly, "do you think you can tell me where your boss is hanging out? I have an appointment to keep with him."  
"Oh, s-sure!" The street fighter stuttered, completely forgetting that he was surrounded by the comatose bodies of his companions. "Just take that back alley down the skateboarding court. He should be in the short building right behind that, on the top floor!"  
Min nodded scratching her chin. "Thanks hon! Could you do me one other favor?" She smiled. "Come a little closer."  
He did so eagerly, not even noticing the combat fan that the Ninja clutched openly in her right hand.  
Thock! Pow! Thud!  
"Idiot," Min muttered, shaking her head. She couldn't fathom how some men were so easily distracted by a gorgeous body in the middle of a combat situation. It was disgraceful!  
Replaying the thug's directions over in her head, Min jumped onto one of the alley walls, and then deflected off of it to land on the opposite wall, before deflecting again for an even higher position, continuing until she grabbed hold of the edge of the apartment building and hoisted herself up. Moving in the alley was fine, but if she was going to avoid fighting every street tough between her and her target, she needed a less conventional route.  
'I WILL get to the bottom of this!'

"So THEN the guy reaches up to try and get me from behind, so I just blasted him and walked away," Ranma recounted his earlier battle to Shampoo and Yurumi as he pushed his way through the front door of the sushi bar.  
"Wow. So I guess it went pretty quick, huh?" His little sister asked, glad that Ranma hadn't done anything to aggravate his injuries this time. After he and Shampoo had returned home three days ago, Ranma had looked horribly weary and bruised, though he wouldn't tell anyone where he'd been.  
Ranma nodded. "Yup. He wasn't much in a fight. Not against me, anyway. Too slow."  
Shampoo frowned. "Why men from weird clan all challenge Ranma now? First is Ninja man, then cane man, now big chain man attack at school!"  
Ranma shrugged. "Who knows? Not that big a deal, though. For a gang of street thugs, they're keeping things more civil than Kuno or Ryoga ever did."  
The pigtailed boy was walking toward the seats at the bar, but was stopped when his little sister grabbed onto one of his pant legs.  
"Hey! What's this about a Ninja and a cane man! I never heard anything about that!" Yurumi said hotly, frowning in such a manner that everyone currently in the restaurant wanted to scoop her up and give her a big hug.  
Ranma and Shampoo sweatdropped, and the two teenagers stiffly walked up to the bar in front of the kitchen, not answering the little girl Ranma was dragging along on his leg.  
"Hey! Answer me!"  
Ranma ignored her, and quickly pried her hand off his leg so that he could sit down at the stools in front of the bar.  
"Don't ignore me! Were you fighting when you were injured?"  
The pigtailed boy calmly tapped the shoulder of a chef who was currently turned away from him. "Yo, can we get some menus?"  
To his and Shampoo's surprise, rather than replying right away, the man chuckled with his back still turned.  
"Oh, I'm not sure you'll be needing one of THOSE!!"  
THUNK! Punctuating the last word with a powerful downward stab, the chef whirled and drove a large, pointed knife into the wooden counter in front of Ranma. With the chef turned, Ranma could see that he had a golden ankh amulet around his neck.  
"Ranma Yagami! I challenge you to a duel in the name of Clan Ra!" The chef shouted, pulling out two other large knives and sharpening them against each other.  
Ranma blinked, ignoring both Shampoo and Yurumi as they scrambled back in surprise. Then he looked down at the knife that had been stabbed into the counter in front of him. Then he looked back up at the chef.  
"So... if you were going to announce your challenge before fighting me, why did you bother to disguise yourself as a chef?" Ranma asked, scratching his chin.  
"Actually, it's not a disguise," the man explained, "I really do work here."  
"Ah," Ranma mumbled, "that would explain why your manager's shaking his head sadly like that." Then he frowned. "You mind if we eat first? Normally I'd just go with you now, but I brought my sister and a friend of mine, so..."  
"Oh, no problem!" The knife fighter said, putting down his knives and rubbing his hands together. "So, what can I get ya?"  
Shampoo and Yurumi warily sat back down, being slightly overwhelmed by the turn of events. Yurumi wasn't quite used to conflict exploding around her yet, and Shampoo wasn't used to people drawing weapons without actual violence immediately following it.  
Ranma snapped his fingers, and grinned. "Hey, how's this: let's put a wager on the duel. If I win, then you pay my tab. If you win, then I'll pay double my tab, and you can keep the extra half. Deal?"  
The fighting chef snorted. "Very well! Now order your food! And for dessert, I shall serve you a bitter defeat!"  
"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Ranma said, waving off the cheesy bravado. "I'll have six orders of deluxe spider rolls, two orders of fatty tuna sashimi, three Mt. Fuji special roll combos, four orders of combination sashimi, six more orders of kappa rolls, and an unagi bento."  
The man's eyes bulged as the pigtailed boy continued looking over the menu.  
"Make... half of that... no, a third of that to go. Shampoo?"  
The Amazon nodded happily. "Shampoo have same, but with salmon sashimi instead tuna!"  
"Drop the kappa rolls and I'll take the same, please," Yurumi said, "and make most of my and Shampoo's orders to go."  
The gang member began to sweat as the other chefs stared at him incredulously.  
'Why do I get the feeling that I've just been robbed?'

Two members of Clan Ra stood outside of the penthouse door playing shogi out on the balcony, their weapons at their side.  
It was a calm day, without any perceptible cause for alertness. Neither street fighter was aware of the conflicts that had taken place in the network of alleys below, nor did either of them catch a glimpse of the blue and white-dressed figure zipping behind satellite dishes and air ventilation outputs on the adjacent building's roof.  
One of the men put down a tablet, and his opponent scratched his chin in careful thought.  
"Ha! I yield!" He said eventually, bowing his head. "Another match?"  
His foe grinned, nodding. "Yeah, I still have time for..." he stopped and frowned, then leaned to side slightly to try and look over his opponent's shoulder.  
"Something wrong?" The other man asked, quickly looking behind him as well.  
Thwock!  
He turned back around quickly enough to see his gaming companion fall to the side, unconscious.  
Unlike Min's last foe, this man was competent enough not to be distracted by the luscious curves peeking out from the gaps in her uniform, and immediately kicked the gameboard at the intruder before making a lunge for his weapon lying atop a nearby chair.  
Min twisted out of the way of the flung shogi table, and then flowed into an attack as she turned. "_Ryuen bu_!"  
Bwoom! The cloth tails of her outfit burst into flame and slammed hard into the "guard", who hadn't yet been able to bring his bo staff to his defense. Crash!

Min smirked and dusted off her hands as she watched the street tough impact the cheap lawn table heavily, burnt patches all over his side where he was struck.  
"Remarkable technique. The Shiranui style is truly a breathtaking art to behold."  
Min whirled around at the voice, only to find nothing. Panicking slightly, she hopped to the center of the large balcony and began to scan her surroundings carefully, paying extra attention to any shadowy depressions or unlikely ledges among the taller buildings that surrounded the one she was standing on.  
"Who are you?! Show yourself!" Min shouted, taking a combat fan in each hand and moving to a defensive position.  
"Show myself? I think not. My own style of Ninjitsu is far less suited to combat than your own; I doubt that I could beat you, even if I had struck when I had the advantage of surprise."  
Min continued searching, drawing her senses out, and trying everything she could think of to find her enemy. 'If he alerts anyone else, I'm done for!'  
"As for who I am, you may call me 'Raven' like everyone else."  
"Great," Min mumbled, "so what are you planning on doing, Raven? Did you just stop by to chat?"  
"I've been observing you since after you dispatched the second pair of my fellow members, and I've alerted our 'boss' to your presence. He'll be here shortly to discuss whatever it is you want."  
Min was about to question the ambiguous voice further, when her expanded senses locked on to a powerful aura that was approaching her from inside the penthouse.  
Steeling herself, Min kept up her defensive stance as the twin doors leading to the penthouse interior opened, admitting three figures.  
Two of them she recognized only as people she had seen at the event at St. Hebereke. The third, however, was someone she had confronted even more recently.  
"Hey! You ARE involved in Ra! I knew it!" Min shouted, pointing a fan at Hana.  
The brunette frowned, and crossed her arms over her chest. "The situation is exactly what I told you when you threatened me this morning." She pointed toward Hashiru, who was observing Min expressionlessly in his usual pose. "This is my cousin, Hashiru Yamazaki." Then she pointed to Joshin, who was staying back slightly. "And this is my brother, Joshin Keitoro." Then she glared at the Ninja girl. "So what are YOU doing here?"  
Min scowled. "What do you think?! If you won't tell me what Ra is up to, then I'll just find this boss of yours and beat it out of him! Where is he?!"  
The bigger man with long blond hair stepped forward. "That would be me. What do you want?"  
She frowned. "First, I want you to tell me if you had anything to do with that attack on our house that happened before the match. Then, I want to know why you're targeting Ranma Yagami all of a sudden!"  
Hashiru snorted, and strode forward easily, his left hand still in his pocket. "You're a helluva girl, coming all this way and fighting so hard just for that."  
Min shrugged. "If I don't like the answer, I might have to take you down, too. This way you're right in front of me, and out here with the limited floor space, it makes it harder for your punks to swarm me."  
The gang leader nodded slowly. "Fair enough." He stepped forward again, and then stopped when he was halfway in-between the Keitoro siblings and the intruding Ninja. "You come into my gang's territory uninvited, attack my friends, and damage my property. That's pretty cool." His expression didn't change when she raised an eyebrow. "I don't mind a challenge at all, and the guys could use a little something to stir 'em up. It's all just a game to us, you know?" Then his neutral expression dipped into a scowl. "But what I will NOT tolerate is people manhandling and threatening my cousin. After I answer your questions I'm going to make you pay for that." Behind him, Hana looked a bit embarrassed and looked down with a hand on the back of her head.  
Min blinked. He was going to answer her questions first? 'This is the strangest group of street thugs I've ever met...'  
"Your first answer is no. In fact, we wanted to stop the St. Hebereke team from disabling the Furinkan contestants so that we could do that little show afterward with Yagami. Shame he never showed up."  
Min sweatdropped heavily, but didn't say anything.  
"Second answer is that there's a lot of talk about Yagami, and I'm trying to gauge just how strong he is. I want him with Ra, if possible. If not, fine, but I say if the guy's got a problem with our challenges, he can come and complain himself." Hashiru idly scratched the back of his neck with his free hand. "Any other questions?"  
"So you're not trying to hurt him?" Min asked skeptically.  
Hashiru chewed on his lip slightly in thought. "Well... I guess, technically, through the course of issuing a challenge and fighting him, yes, we're trying to hurt him, but we're not trying to injure or intimidate him or anything. Just want to see how good he is."  
Min snorted. "Fine. Then let's get on with this." K-shing! She opened both her battle fans, sunlight glinting off the bladed edges.  
Hashiru held his position, with his right arm hanging loosely.  
"What's wrong? Is THAT your fighting stance?" Min growled. "At least take your hand out of your damn pocket!"  
"You gonna talk, or you gonna chat?" Hashiru taunted, leaning over and smiling.  
Min's eyebrow twitched. "Chat this! _Hissatsu shinobi bachi_!" She cried, cartwheeling toward her opponent to gain momentum for the elbow strike.  
To her surprise, Hashiru didn't move from his position of leaning forward and grinning, leaving his face right in the way of her attack.  
Thock! She was even more surprised when her entire body stopped dead upon striking him, completely paralyzed.  
'What? How did he...? I can't move!'  
Hashiru held his grin and pulled his head away from Min's elbow, leaving the Ninja girl twitching as she was stuck in the air, still immobile.  
"Yamazaki style special counter _kuroi shikaeshi_. It wears off after a short period of time." Then he pulled his right hand out of his pocket, glowing with a light blue aura that twisted the very air about in violent, distorted waves. "That is... if nothing hits you first."  
Thrack! Hashiru's aura formed a drill-like image as he thrust his right fist into Min's lower torso, throwing the Ninja girl back and slamming her hard into the thick mesh railing at the edge of the balcony.  
Min started to get up, and stumbled as her side throbbed painfully from the impact. Unfortunately, Hashiru wasn't intending to spend the battle showing off, and capitalized on his advantage.  
Wshk! A flesh-colored streak was all the warning the Ninja girl got before she was yanked violently toward her opponent, having been somehow snatched up by hand while she was three arm lengths away.  
"Yamazaki style heavy distance strike _hebi tsukai_." He said calmly. "You're good, girl, but Ninja should know better than to charge brawlers."  
Then he raised Min up in the air by her neck, the blue glow increasing around him. "I'll end it quick. _Tsuchi buchikomu_!"

Bwack! Pow! Smash!  
"Oh, geez!"  
"That's gotta hurt..."  
"No fighting! No fighting inside the restaurant! I can't-"  
Bwoom!  
"Aiyah! Ranma, you finish off now!"  
"Shampoo, can you give me a hand with these take out cartons?"  
"So that's the pyro kid everyone's talking about around here..."  
Thwack! Wham! BLAMMO!!  
The whole building shook from the power of the last explosion, and the knife-wielding chef flew out of the front door of the establishment, his pristine white uniform turned black wherever it hadn't been burnt away completely.

Ranma walked out a moment later with a bundle of cartons packed under his arm, and though he was smiling, he was also glancing at a cut on his sleeve.  
"Can't believe he actually got me. And not just a lucky shot, either; that stab came out of nowhere." He grinned. "Man, these guys are great!"  
"I don't see what's so great about cutting you with a knife," Yurumi mumbled irritably. "He could've killed you!"  
Ranma snorted. "Yeah. Right. Even if he could have beat me, I can see through his technique easily. He wasn't making lethal strikes; if anyone's ever died from his techniques, it's probably been through blood loss, and any fighter with as much self respect as he had wouldn't let a fallen foe bleed to death." Then he smirked and rubbed the top of Yurumi's head. "But it's nice to know you care, anyway."  
"Best of all, stupid man pay for meal!" Shampoo cheered, hauling a majority of the leftover sushi. "Ranma very, very clever!"  
"Yeah! Mom won't have to cook for two more days, at least!"  
"With your appetite, we'll be lucky to save it until tomorrow," Yurumi murmured.  
Ranma stuck his tongue out at her. "So what? I earned it, didn't I?" She stuck her tongue back out at him in response.  
Shampoo, meanwhile, was looking ahead and ignoring the exchange, so she was the only one that noticed the incoming arrow before it sunk deeply into the building a few meters ahead.  
"Whoa! What's that?" Ranma asked. Looking more closely at the projectile, he could see that there was a small note tied to it. "A messenger arrow?"  
Yurumi put down her own small load of cartons, then rushed forward and hopped up to grab the note.  
Then she blinked. "It's addressed to someone named 'Junikyo'. That's weird." Frowning, she began to read the message, despite not knowing who the addressee was. "'I need you to make me a fancy-looking monocle. Well polished, with scratch resistant lens and an aluminum frame. Please attach a tag that says that it's made of ridiculously expensive materials that would probably hurt its actual usefulness, like a diamond lens or metal from a meteorite or something. Payment on delivery.'" She looked back toward Ranma. "What does it mean?"  
Ranma frowned. "I think it means that somebody's getting screwed over on his eyewear. But other than that, I don't have a clue."  
The trio turned as a young man sprinted over to them, panting heavily as he carried a short bow in one hand and a quiver of arrows in the other.  
Yurumi held up the note. "You shot this, right? Is this for us?"  
He stopped to catch his breath for a moment, then shook his head. "No, pant that's the pant wrong message. Gasp Sorry about that." He took the letter from Yurumi and stuffed it in his pocket, before taking another rolled-up note from his quiver.  
As he started breathing easier, he gestured to Ranma. "This is it. This is for you."  
Ranma blinked, and then moved to take the message, only to have the bow man back away and attach the letter to an arrow.  
Then the man aimed at the sidewalk before Ranma's feet, and shot the arrow straight into the concrete just a meter away.  
Thunk!  
Ranma, Shampoo, and Yurumi all sweatdropped.  
"Uh... why you no just give Ranma letter?" Shampoo asked, scratching her head.  
"Rules and etiquette, lady, all right? That's just how it's done!" The messenger said irritably, walking away. "I'm just trying to do my job. Yeesh."

"Oh-kay..." Ranma mumbled, reaching down to grab the rolled up note.  
Dropping his own load of take out food onto the ground, he began to read his message.  
"'Dear Ranma Yagami. I send this letter as another invitation for battle; it is not a challenge. An acquaintance of yours, one 'Min Bogard', violated my territory today and fought me. She was dispatched using force, but has suffered no significant injuries, and will be held at the location marked on the attached map. If you come to this location, you will be forced to fight me for her release. If you do not come, then I will-'"  
Ranma stopped reading, and his eyes bulged. Shampoo and Yurumi leaned in closer, nervous but intrigued.  
"'If you do not come, then I will release Min to her home at six o' clock tonight, completely unharmed. Sincerely, Hashiru Yamazaki.'"  
Shampoo and Yurumi sweatdropped.  
"That it? Where this man learn handle prisoners?" Shampoo asked condescendingly. Not that she was hoping for Min to be in danger, but the current scenario had just lost much of its drama.  
Yurumi frowned. "It's only five thirty now. I guess she'll be fine in just half an hour then. That's good to know."  
Ranma stared at the message for a few moments more, then crushed it in his hand. "THAT BASTARD!!"  
Thud! Shampoo and Yurumi facefaulted hard.  
"But... But she's going to go free in just a little bit!" Yurumi protested.  
"Why Ranma upset?" Shampoo asked standing up shakily.  
Ranma growled as he looked over the map. "If this Yamazaki jerk lets her go, then I don't get to fight! And I won't get to play hero and look cool, either! He can't do this to me!"  
The girls sweatdropped.  
"But Ranma! We still have to drop this stuff off at our house!" Yurumi protested.  
Shampoo frowned. "If Ranma want go... Shampoo and Yurumi take food home, and Ranma go fight. Can make fight then, yes?"  
Ranma shook his head as he pocketed the message. "That's no good. I need more witnesses there so more people know how awesome I was."  
The girls sweatdropped again.  
"I think all the recent fights have swelled his ego a bit," Yurumi whispered to Shampoo, who nodded mutely.  
"Plus, I'm still not sure that Min isn't secretly planning to kill me. I'd like other people there on the way home."  
"If Ranma not want be around girl, why save?" Shampoo deadpanned. Ranma ignored her.  
Suddenly, the redheaded girl was grabbed from around the waist and lifted into the air.  
"WAAUGH!! Hey! What are you doing?!" Yurumi yelled, being slung over Ranma's shoulder.  
"We can get home faster this way," Ranma muttered, using his other hand to pick up several bags of take out cartons. "Come on Shampoo, put on the speed!"

"So you're just going to let me go, then?" Min murmured uneasily, looking up at the black-haired man holding position above her. She was bound in special knots at the wrists and ankles, and while she could have managed to get free with some time, she knew that Raven would be able to detect any signs of her work and stop her. Plus, you know, if they were just going to free her anyway...  
"That's right," Hashiru said, seated a little distance away from the Ninja, in a short chair. "There really isn't anything else to do with you; I gain nothing from keeping you here, and if I were to anger your family such that they decided to take you back..." The blond brawler shuddered slightly. That would be an ugly scene indeed. Though he'd be interested in testing himself against a man like Andy Bogard, having him, his wife, and his nephew barging into his turf beating the snot out of everyone they saw wouldn't do anybody any good.  
Min nodded in understanding. "Makes sense. But if you're going to let me go anyway, why am I tied up here?"  
Hashiru shrugged. "Well, I went through all the trouble of knocking you out, so I've got to do SOMETHING with you. It would be shame to waste a hostage without even trying to get something in return."  
Min tilted her head to one side. "Huh? I don't get it."  
"Lord Hashiru has issued an invitation to Ranma Yagami," Raven informed her, "he has until 6:00 tonight to appear and challenge Lord Hashiru to rescue you, or else you will be returned to your home."  
The Ninja girl started at the gang leader, who was lounging comfortably with one hand in his pocket, as usual.  
"Uh... then why would he show up?" She asked, sweatdropping. It'd be nice if he did, but rather stupid of him.  
Hashiru shrugged again. "I have no idea. But he's only got a few more minutes to get here."  
There was a somewhat uncomfortable silence as the three fighters watched the front door of the auditorium, gathered as they were in the middle.  
"So!" Min finally said, looking over her shoulder. "Ninja, huh? You were pretty good. I was never able to find you."  
"Indeed," Raven said neutrally, bowing. "Unlike your style, my own school of Ninjitsu largely concentrates on the non-combative aspects of the shinobi. My family has been serving as spies and saboteurs for generations."  
Min nodded. "That's pretty neat." Then she gestured toward Hashiru with her head. "So is this guy part of the family that yours serves?"  
"No, he just pays me."  
"Ah."  
Hashiru looked up at the clock hanging on the wall of the auditorium, then got up and stretched. "Well, time for you to go. No hard feelings about me beating you, right?"  
Min shrugged. "Eh, you could've done worse to me. And I guess I was pretty mean to your cousin."  
He nodded. "Good. So now the slate's clean. Raven, you go-" Suddenly, the blond man jerked his head around in surprise.  
The two Ninja blinked.  
"Lord Hashiru?"  
"Hey blondie, something wrong?"  
BWOOOM!!

Hashiru shielded himself as the front doors to the auditorium exploded outward, trailing ribbons of purple fire. The two street fighters waiting outside the doors rolled into the room immediately afterward, trailing smoke from their charred bodies.  
As the flames died down, Ranma strode into the room while breathing somewhat heavily, smirking at the two men lying on the floor.  
"Thought you could block ME, didja? Feh." He crossed his arms over his chest condescendingly.  
"We... were... m-moving... to open... the door... for you..." the more conscious of the pair mumbled, obviously in intense pain.  
Everyone sweatdropped.  
"Oh... uh..." Ranma decided to ignore the two men he had blasted, and looked at the others already in the room. He already knew Raven, so he jabbed a finger at the muscular guy with long blond hair. "Yamazaki, you fiend! Ta-"  
The gang leader cut him off with a wave of his hand. "Wait, please, just call me Hashiru. Never call me by my surname." Then he turned toward Min. "That goes for you, too."  
Ranma blinked. "Uh... okay..." Then he coughed into his hand, slightly annoyed at having the dramatic tension broken. "Hashiru, you fiend! Taking a girl captive to lure somebody into a fight! You're despicable!"  
The man raised an eyebrow, though with his hair covering his eyes none could easily tell. "She attacked me, actually..."  
Min nodded somberly. "Yeah, I did. Plus, you know, they were just about to let me go..."  
"Knock it off!" Ranma yelled, "You're ruining my entrance!"  
Raven nodded reluctantly. "Yes. Lord Hashiru, the rescue of a damsel in distress must be conducted in an appropriate manner. I believe you should indulge Yagami on this issue."  
Hashiru sighed. "I hate role playing." Then he looked up at Ranma, and pointed his free hand toward him. "I don't yield to weaklings and fools! If you want the girl, you must prove yourself to me!"  
Ranma grinned. Much better. "I will prove more than you ever wanted to know, Hashiru! Prepare yourself!"  
Min looked up at Raven. "Uh... should I be screaming or something?"  
"No, you're good."  
Hashiru beckoned to the pigtailed boy. "Come, then. Let us begin."  
To his surprise, Ranma held up a finger. "Just a sec."  
There was a pregnant pause as everyone remained silent, save the two blasted thugs who groaned painfully as they attempted to rise such that they could treat their injuries.  
After a few moments, Shampoo skidded into the room, panting heavily and carrying Yurumi on her shoulders.  
"R-pant-Ranma! Why pant you move pant so quick pant all of sudden?" Atop her shoulders, Yurumi wasn't physically drained at all, though she was looking a little nervous from traveling at such high velocity in such a manner.  
Ranma sweatdropped and tugged on his pigtail. "Well, we were running late. Sorry."  
"Uh... they with you?" Seeing his opponent nod, Hashiru shrugged. "Okay, can we get started?"

Rather than answer, Ranma dashed forward, not wasting any more time on words. Throwing out a few quick jabs, Ranma watched as Hashiru moved his free hand to block each strike, while keeping his other hand in his pocket.  
Pushing forward, Ranma launched a fierce haymaker that Hashiru smacked away instead of merely blocking, and the pigtailed boy followed up with a swift leg sweep that knocked the larger man down and had him rolling backward to get out of range.  
Ranma backed up a few steps himself, then jumped toward his foe to attack the chest with a side kick. To the surprise of the girls watching, Hashiru blocked the attack easily with his forearm rather than dodging or trying a less painful defense.  
To their further surprise, Ranma had predicted the move, and twisted his body around after the impact to slam his knee into Hashiru's face. The pigtailed boy took immediate advantage of the surprise hit, and dropped down to lay into the gang leader with a series of lightning-fast punches to his midsection.  
Hashiru grit his teeth as he felt his body began to weaken before Ranma's strength, and threw his head forward hard, smashing Ranma in the forehead and sending the pigtailed boy stumbling back.  
Gaining some distance of his own, Hashiru wiped his mouth. 'I was trying to gauge his capabilities... but he had mine pegged right after that first haymaker, while I was still leaving myself open. I've never had my defenses breached so quickly.'  
Then he grinned. "That actually hurt a little bit. I guess it's time for the tricky stuff now, eh?"  
Ranma smirked. "If you want. Your funeral, though. _Yami barai_!"  
The fire bolt streaked across the ground, and Hashiru calmly waited until the attack was upon him before ripping his left hand out of his pocket. "_Baikaeshi_!" A blue aura curved upward to follow his hand as he scooped up the attack, and a large bolt of the same color left his hand as he released it back toward his enemy.  
"Eh?" Wham! Ranma was thrown back as the aerial bolt slammed into him, smashing him against the nearby wall of the auditorium.  
The pigtailed boy shook his head, then stood up unsteadily, staring at his foe across the room. 'Did he just throw my own attack back at me? He did! What the hell?!'  
Hashiru smiled as his opponent got up. "The best offense is a good defense, and my 'family' style will crush any attacker. To attack me is to orchestrate your own defeat."  
"Nice speech, but I didn't see you defeating me just a few seconds ago!" Ranma growled, dusting off his jacket.  
"Oh? You wanna try your luck again?" Hashiru taunted, leaning over and sticking his tongue out playfully.  
Min's eyes widened. "Ranma! No! Don't hit him now!"  
Ranma grit his teeth as he rushed forward, and purple fire burst from one of his hands. "Don't worry! I'll make sure he doesn't get up again this time! _Shikyo hana_!"  
His fire punched streaked toward his target, and Ranma poured more energy into the attack as it flew to maximize the damage, correctly assuming that Hashiru didn't possess the dexterity to dodge.  
Thud! Thus, he was absolutely shocked when his flames dissipated right before contact with Hashiru's head, and even more so when his entire body froze still upon impact.  
'What?! I can't move!'  
Hashiru grinned. "She warned you. Kuroi shikaeshi!" Thrack! The drill fist slammed into Ranma mercilessly, throwing him back yet again and causing the Yagami fighter to create another shallow indentation right next to his last one.  
Ranma wobbled a bit as he stood up, more from shock than pain. "That... what... how...?"  
"You got any other tricks, or are you done?" Hashiru said, taunting the boy once again.  
Ranma frowned, and then took off to the side, running around Hashiru in a counter-clockwise motion.  
"HYAH!!" Without shouting the name of the attack, Ranma began to hurl waves of dark flame at his opponent centered in the ring he was creating, attacking from all angles.  
Smirking, Hashiru pulled out his left hand again and began to toss back the attaks, one after the other, keeping perfect pace with his opponent.  
To everyone's surprise, when Ranma had almost completed the circle around Hashiru, he stumbled and nearly tripped, only managing to recover his footing in time to block a returned fireball.  
Seeing his enemy struggling to collect himself, Hashiru grinned and dashed forward, aiming to drive an opportune punch into Ranma's skull.  
Instead, however, he found himself flying through the air as his legs were swept out from under him again.  
Ranma smirked as he rolled upright, and then jumped toward the still-flying Hashiru to smash him into the floor with a swift axe kick.  
Hashiru stood up, dusting off his pants with his free hand. 'It was a ruse! He drew me into making an offensive attack, and then put me down easy! This guy's slick!'  
Then the gang leader realized that his foe was standing just two feet away, easily within arm's reach.  
"A little close, aren't you?" Hashiru asked almost conversationally, his arm in a guard position. At this distance, whoever attacked first would likely have the advantage despite their respective abilities, making it a risky position for either of them.  
Ranma snorted. "A little close for what? I've seen through your defense. If you make any attack, then you can't change stances fast enough to reverse a counter-attack! I don't have anything to fear from you!"  
The blond man grinned. "If you say so..."  
THOCK! Ranma doubled over as his foe's left fist drove into his gut, and his eyes widened as he realized that his body had been paralyzed again, if not as fully as before, preventing any reaction on his part.  
"_Tsuchi buchikomu_!" Hashiru lifted Ranma's limp body in the air, his arm glowing brighter as his light blue aura began to grow higher and more powerful.

SLAM!! Shock waves of blue energy blasted outward from the impact as the gang leader smashed Ranma into the floor, and the girls watching the fight were forced to adjust their footing as the floor shook under them.  
"Ranma! Not again!" Yurumi cried, her hands clasped together.  
Shampoo grit her teeth, more concerned for Ranma than angry at Hashiru. With her own expertise in fighting though, she could tell that this man's "_hammer drive_" didn't pack the type of crippling power that Tomas' _aurora fang_ did, and patted Yurumi's head reassuringly.  
"Is okay. Ranma not hurt bad from that. Maybe even get up again." Shampoo nodded as she looked over the crater of splintered hardwood that Ranma's body made in floor. Yup, Ranma was WAY too stubborn to let an attack like that put him down.  
A little ways away from the other girls, Min winced as she recalled losing consciousness to that same attack, and then her eyes widened as Ranma began to get back up.  
The Ninja girl frowned. This whole incident brought to light exactly how outclassed she was when compared to Ranma's level of fighting. The young man had defeated her with minimal effort, and Hashiru had done her in with even less. Tomas had never beaten her into a comatose state, but then, she had only fought him in sparring duels.  
'Hmm... maybe some heavier training is in order...'

Ranma stood up slowly, backing away as he tried to catch his breath.  
'Okay... that hurt... a lot...'  
"Syah!" Hashiru yelled, leaning over slightly and lashing his arm out.  
Thwack! Ranma stumbled back as he was struck in the chest in a blur of motion, and his ribcage groaned from the abuse it was put under.  
"Wha... What... was that?" The pigtailed boy stuttered, still recovering his senses.  
"I made the mistake of giving up an advantage too many times already in this fight," Hashiru said, leaning over once more with his right arm hanging down limply. "I won't wait for you to trick me again! _Hebi tsukai_!"  
Thwack! Ranma was thrown backwards into the air as the second attack struck him hard in the face, rocking the Yagami fighter like a bolt of lightning.  
Landing out of range, Ranma wiped some blood from his mouth as he stood up again, his expression strangely thoughtful.  
"I knew it... that's what it is!"  
Hashiru rolled his eyes. "Now what? You have some new strategy you wanna share?"  
The shorter man ignored him. "I remember my dad telling me about this old martial arts master that used a technique sort of like that... using a powerful aura to break a foe's aura and freeze them in their tracks!" He frowned. "But you use it differently. You paralyze an opponent on contact, like a poison! The swifter and more charged the attack, the more easily the 'poison ki' spreads, and the more devastating the effect upon the attacker's ki! If an attacker is passive, then you have to force it into the body using your own strength, and even then, it's not as effective, which is how I was able to brace myself for your slam attack."  
The gang leader blinked. 'So that's how he was able to get up so easily.' "Uh... well, yeah. So what?"  
"Nothing," Ranma admitted, standing up straight, "I just needed a few moments to catch my breath."  
Hashiru blinked again, and then his face darkened when he realized that he had been distracted into giving up another advantage.  
"You're done!" Ranma shouted, dashing forward with his arms in a ready position, without putting any strength into an early attack.  
Hashiru shifted slightly and then leaned forward, wondering what his foe was going to try now that he knew how his some of his moves worked.  
Ranma saw his enemy change stances, and grimaced before sliding to a stop within arm's reach of Hashiru, holding his arms up in an "X" to ward off attacks.  
Hashiru allowed himself a smirk as he reared back a fist; he hadn't used his reversal technique for fear that Ranma had discovered one of its weak points, such as it vulnerability to throws and very low attacks, and kept his options open in case he had to get some distance or strike back. Obviously the shorter fighter couldn't tell that, and he'd suffer the consequences.  
Thock! "What?!" Hashiru yelled, feeling his body go numb as he struck Ranma right in the center of his defense.  
The pigtailed boy winced. Even with the block, plus the poison ki, that punch had hurt! This guy was seriously strong! "I know it's a pretty crude version of your reversal, but the important thing is that it works! _Dokuga gyakuten_!" Ranma pulled back and hand, and then slammed his palm fiercely into Hashiru's chest, generating an explosion of flames that tore at the blond man as he was knocked back across the auditorium.  
Grimacing, Hashiru rolled with the blow, putting out the dark fire as he also gained some distance.  
Ranma walked up to him slowly, and one of his hands burst into a blaze of purple as he approached. "It'll be over... with this next attack..."  
Hashiru stood up unsteadily, shaken from the resilience that his opponent had shown, and weary from the damage he had accumulated.  
'He's more hurt than I am, though. There's no way he can take me down in one more blow! However, I can...' "Come on then!"  
Ranma grinned. "I just wanna say, before I knock you out, that I loved this whole bit with the friendly challenges and all. You guys are all right."  
Hashiru turned slightly, and dusted off his exposed leg with his free hand. "Before YOU knock ME out?"  
Ranma's grin faded. "Well, yeah. You don't know what I was doing when I was circling you back when we started this, do you?" Then he threw an arm forward. "_Yami barai_!"  
The gang leader snorted as he pulled his left hand out of his pocket and began to scoop up the projectile. "You were bombarding me! So what?!"  
"Wrong," Ranma murmured, crouching as his aura flared. "I was just working out your timing. _YA OTOME_!!"  
Hashiru froze just as he was about to release the captured fireball, the broiling energies burning his palm as they struggled for release.  
Seeing Ranma streak toward him, the blond man desperately threw his counter-fireball... only to see Ranma duck right under it, straight into Hashiru's unguarded front.  
Thwack! Whack! Slam! Pow! Smash! Wham! Ranma pulled his arm out of his opponent's gut, and then flung the larger man onto the floor before leaning over him, palms down on Hashiru's chest. BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!  
With a final cry of "It's OVER!!" Ranma brought the final fireball down onto the struggling body of the gang leader, causing tremors to shake the building in a manner quite similar to when he himself had been driven into the hardwood floor.

"Good God..." Min breathed, amazed at what she had just witnessed. 'Was that what happened to me when he used that attack? No wonder I barely remember what happened! I can't believe he's actually this powerful!'  
"All right Ranma! Yay!" Yurumi ran up to her brother and jumped into his arms, letting the pigtailed boy haul her up to sit on his shoulder.  
"Shampoo knew you beat down big man!" The Amazon said proudly, hands on her hips. In truth, she was quite sure it could have gone either way, but Ranma's remarkable affinity for martial arts had seen him through again.  
Ranma made sure he was carrying Yurumi comfortably on his right shoulder, then turned toward Hashiru's Ninja, who was staring at the scene with a perfectly stoic expression.  
"Hey, Mr. Ninja!" Ranma called out, grinning.  
"Call me Raven, please," the Ninja replied, sighing. Then he took out a small knife and knelt down slowly, cutting Min's bonds.  
"Okay, fine, Raven, then. Make sure your boss gets fixed up right away, y'hear? He'll probably want a rematch." Ranma grinned. 'Using the dork's own counter against him! I really am a genius!'  
Raven raised an eyebrow. "Really, now?"  
Ranma nodded. "Oh yeah. I know these types of guys. So make sure you take care of him, eh? Come on, Min."  
The female Ninja followed him mutely, and the small group strode happily out of the auditorium, quite satisfied with the day's conclusion.  
The male Ninja stayed behind, of course, staring mutely at the retreating quartet. Then he hauled Hashiru's charred body out of the blackened crater in the middle of the room, and began to treat his employer's injuries. Soon the other members of Clan Ra would begin to arrive, curious as to the outcome of the battle that Hashiru had insisted on fighting without a large audience. But for now, all was silent, and as Raven assessed the burn wounds of the juggernaut brawler lying in front of him, he allowed his mind to wander.  
'Is that the man you sought to tame and command, as you do me? Can anyone possibly expect to hold that kind of strength, will, and cunning under their thumb?'  
The Ninja allowed himself to smile. Ranma would not join them, nor would he ever be subservient to Hashiru Yamazaki. But that was fine. Hashiru had always preferred having friends over having servants, and either one would ultimately help him reach his peak of power, and his ultimate goal.  
'Lord Hashiru Yamazaki, born of Ryuji Yamazaki, the crime lord and murderer, and abandoned before birth. You grew up with riches and luxury, but you drowned yourself in violence and conflict to further yourself as a fighter, ever struggling toward that most elusive of goals: revenge. It would seem Yagami is another stepping stone you must cross, one way or another.'  
Raven stood up, having determined that none of the damage was critical enough to justify an ambulance, and having applied tonic and bandages from a First Aid kit that he had kept nearby for the battle.  
"You're not strong enough yet, my Lord. But one day you will be. And then, true to your life's designs, you will find, and you will kill Ruji Yamazaki, at last removing the vile stain upon your soul. It is simply a matter of time..."

Min stared down at the sidewalk as Ranma, Yurumi, and Shampoo all chatted excitedly up ahead the four of them all walking back to their homes after the battle.  
'Okay... but where can I start? Regular training isn't going to be enough if I want to match even Tomas, never mind Ranma...'  
"Hey, watcha thinking about?"  
Min started in surprise as Ranma's voice shook her from her concentration.  
She put a hand on the back of her head in embarrassment. "Oh, I'm just thinking about training, that's all." She sighed, looking somewhat downcast. "I got myself into a pretty stupid situation by assuming I'd be able to overwhelm anybody I faced. Having reality grab me and smash me into a concrete patio isn't the best way to learn a lesson, but it worked. I have some serious improving to do."  
Ranma considered this for a moment, and then moved to put his left hand over her shoulder, as Yurumi was still being supported by his right.  
"Look, don't let it bother you. Hashiru is as tough as they come, believe me. I don't think he was holding back at all, but I'm pretty sure we haven't seen the full extent of his abilities. No reason to fret just because he caught you off guard. He did that to me, too!"  
"Well, sure, but you got right back up and beat him," Min countered.  
Ranma nodded somberly as he patted the Ninja girl on the shoulder. "Well, yeah. But hey, we can't all be the best, now can we?" Shampoo smirked and shook her head from where she walked next to him.  
Min sighed. "I guess not." Then she turned and smiled at the pigtailed boy rather timidly. "By the way, I appreciate you coming for me, but... why did you do it, if you knew that they were going to let me go anyway?"  
Ranma smirked at her, and leaned his face in closer. "What? You have to ask?"  
Min began to blush, and looked down. 'Did he really do that for me? Just so that he could impress me?' It brought a few interesting issues to light, especially the unfortunate truth of Tomas' concerns; the more she thought about it, the more she realized that her vision of Ranma inside her head - the manly, romantic, selfless paladin - didn't fit the arrogant, sex-changing brawler overflowing with dark power quite as well as she liked. Did she really want Ranma so badly, when she barely knew him, that she'd be willing to break up a prior relationship for a shot at him? Before the answer was clear, but now she wasn't so sure.  
Ranma saw Min descend into deep thought again, and then shrugged. "Well, since you DID ask, I came for the fight!"  
Thud! Min landed face-first onto the concrete, and Ranma blinked and extended a hand to help her up.  
"You gotta be careful on these walks. Some of 'em are in bad repair, and make you trip," Ranma explained. Not that he ever did, or imagined that Min would, given her dexterity, but it was the only explanation he could think of for her plunge.  
'I guess he's not very romantic, either,' Min reasoned, taking his hand to stand up again. "You wanted to fight him, huh?"  
Ranma grinned. "Of course! After that Joshin guy and those two others today, I knew that their boss had to be a really strong guy in order to keep all them in line! How could I resist?"  
Then the pigtailed boy hesitated, and coughed into his free hand.  
"But... well... I DID come to get you, so... I was kind of wondering..."  
Min blinked, and raised an eyebrow at him. Shampoo's reaction from the other side of Ranma was more subtle, but the Amazon almost frowned as she wondered where Ranma was going with this.  
"I was just wondering if you could lay off trying to kill me in revenge. Please?"  
THUD! Min's facefault was more forceful this time, and Shampoo and Yurumi felt like joining her.  
"I am NOT trying to kill you!" The Ninja girl insisted, standing up and scrubbing a hand through her hair. How did Ranma pick up such a stupid idea?  
Ranma frowned in consideration. "Okay... let's say, hypothetically, that you WERE trying to kill me."  
Min groaned.  
Ranma continued regardless. "Would the rescue thing today convince you not to? You know, even though you were in no real danger?"  
Min glared at the pigtailed boy in annoyance. "Fine. Yes, it would. If I were trying to. Which I'm not."  
"Right! Cool!" Ranma said, completely satisfied by her response.  
"Ranma too, too strange sometimes," Shampoo commented, rolling her eyes.  
Ranma grinned and hooked his arm around the back of Shampoo's neck pulling her closer. "Hey, you know that better than most, huh?"

Min watched the trio chuckle at the joke (even though Yurumi didn't understand the full extent of it), and then looked toward the sign that marked her own street, intersecting the path that Ranma was heading to get to his own house.  
'Do I love him? ............ No, I suppose not. Not really... Not yet.' She glanced back at him, taking in the large white moon embroidered onto the black frame of his jacket.  
Then she turned away toward her own home. No, she didn't have Ranma Yagami as a lover, or even a boyfriend. That could wait until she sorted out her feelings about such things like gender-flipping curses and the like. But for now, it would do to simply have a good friend to be there when she needed him.  
"Hey, Min! There you are!"  
The Ninja girl blinked, then turned around toward her cousin's voice.  
Tomas jogged up to her, wondering why his cousin had returned from her shopping trip without any purchases, as well as why her school uniform looked so rumpled and dishelved.  
'Uh oh. I hope she wasn't out doing anything with Yagami... Uncle Andy will kill me!' "I was just about to start looking for you! I thought you were going shopping! Where's all your bags and stuff?" The young shinobi carried nothing with her, save her usual bookbag.  
Min frowned, her eyes narrowing. "And where exactly were you all day, hmmm?"  
Tomas blinked. "After school I went home. You told me you were going shopping right after school, remember?" Of course, it was quite unusual for high school students to go on shopping trips without at least changing their clothes first, but as Tomas was an American teenager, and mostly unused to changing clothes beyond putting them on in the morning and taking them off at night, he wasn't quite aware of the fact.  
Min's frown deepened, and she planted her hands on her hips. "So why weren't you there when Ranma came to rescue me? You should have AT LEAST been there to watch!"  
Tomas blinked again. "Rescue? What? Were you kidnapped or something?"  
Whomp! Min put her fan away and walked away toward her home, fuming silently.  
Tomas remained behind for a moment, removing his hat so that he could rub the bump on his head tenderly.  
"Why don't I ever know what's going on...?"

End Chapter 11

_Moko kaimon ha - Fierce tiger opening gate blast  
Dokuga gyakuten - Poison fang reverse  
Tsuchi buchikomu - Hammer drive  
Baikaeshi - Double reflect  
Hebi tsukai - Serpent slash  
Kuroi shikaeshi - Black revenge_


	12. Three Wrongs Don't Make a Right, Either

"But... no! No! It wasn't my fault! You can't do this to me!" Mousse shouted angrily, balling his hands into fists. "It was all his fault! The monster foreigner! HE did this! Not me! Why am I being punished!"  
The six pairs of eyes bored down into him mercilessly, showing only disgust, anger, and disappointment.  
"Mousse, don't play games with us," Cologne spat. "Trespassing on the forbidden grounds of Jusenkyou is bad enough, but your idiotic, unprovoked, and **inexcusable** attack upon the outsiders there ultimately led to the disaster that befell the village yesterday."  
"NO! That's not true!" Mousse yelled angrily. "Ask Shampoo! She was there! She saw the whole thing!"  
"We've already spoken to Shampoo, fool," one of the other elders said, "and she firmly placed the blame upon you."  
"Th-That can't be!"  
"It is," Cologne said, once again taking control of the hearing. "The outsider that went berserk has shown proper remorse for the... 'accident', and even now is repairing the damage he's done. Many have called for more severe punishment, but seeing how nobody was actually killed yesterday, I feel that it's enough that he work and then leave forever. That only leaves YOUR punishment."  
Mousse swallowed deeply as another of the elders leaned forward.  
"On the one hand, there's no rational way we could have expected you to even consider the attack last night as a possible consequence for your actions, as faulty as they were. But on the other hand, this is merely the latest in a long string of problems that have come about as a result of your idiocy and harassment of Shampoo."  
"Ha-Harassment!"  
"Yes," Cologne said dryly, "as much as you'd prefer to think of it as 'courting', reality must prevail in these decisions."  
One of the taller elders stood up, and raised her staff into the air. "Mousse, your final punishment has not been decided, but there's one thing we all agree on already: after you serve your punishment, you will never set foot inside the village again."  
"N... No... NOOOO!" Mousse collapsed onto the floor of the hall, his glasses falling from his face and bouncing off the smooth stone below.  
"Mousse," Cologne began, showing neither sympathy nor hesitation in her actions, "you are hereby banished from the Joketsuzoku tribe of the Amazons. From this day forward, you are an outsider. To your family and friends here in the village, it as though you have never existed. And to the village guards, you are a rogue, to be turned away the moment you are sighted, and denied even the usual outsider's rights within our village. This is by the decree of the Council of Elders."  
The six old women nodded in tandem, and one of them waved over the Amazons stationed near the door. "Take him away and lock him up! He needn't be here again until we decide the rest of his punishment!"  
"Don't do this! Please! Shampoo! Help me! SHAMPOOOO!"

'I'm an outsider. An intruder. A rogue.' Mousse sat curled up in the small cell, mumbling to himself as he clawed at his head with his hands. 'My... My family... my home... gone... forgotten...'  
His teeth clenched, and he suddenly whipped out a fist, slamming it against the wall. "NO!" 'This is all HIS fault! That idiot outsider who fell into the water! HE'S responsible for this, not ME!'  
Self-pity quickly drowned in rage as Mousse got up. 'He must have seduced Shampoo and poisoned her against me as well! That's the only explanation! I can't believe those senile old bats in the Council didn't realize it!'  
He moved up to the door, and was about to yell out to tell them of his wondrous realization, when he actually stopped and thought about what he was about to do.  
"No... they'll never believe me. Not as I am now." He mumbled sourly. As an outsider, he was no more credible than the one who was responsible for his suffering. "But I also cannot allow them to pass judgment upon me! I won't suffer any more unjust punishments!"  
Muttering to himself, he began to pace the length of the room. Under normal circumstances he could easily make a way out, but Cologne was capable of fully disarming even a master of hidden weapons such as he. Had it been anyone else to check him he was certain he could have hidden something-a knife, a lock pick, or a hairpin, at least-and gotten away with it, but like this...  
Finally, Mousse raised an eyebrow, and then turned to stare at the bowl of water that had been left to him in his cage. "Well. I guess it's time for the last resort."  
With a slight smirk on his face, the former Amazon picked up the dish and held it over his head.  
"I'm glad none of them actually checked to see if I had a Jusenkyou curse. That would've been... bothersome."  
Splash!

Gasp! Mousse sprung awake with sweat running down his forehead and his chest heaving.  
"D-Damn... not that dream again..." breathing heavily, the Chinese boy sighed and then shivered, feeling his cold sweat grow colder against the night's chill. He was camped out in a dank, wet area in a glade, and the moisture amplified the night's chill tenfold. Certainly one of the worst places for camping, but his journey was not one that expected any luxuries or comforts.  
"I'm almost there," he said aloud, gritting his teeth, "just a little bit further, and all my suffering will be redeemed..."  
Deciding it would be best to go back to sleep for now, he sighed and wiped away the sweat on his forehead with the back of his arm.  
Shlop "Ugh! What the hell!" He shouted in surprise as he felt a cold, slimy substance rub onto his forehead, and then frowned before glancing at his arm.  
He blinked as he saw a black, mucus-covered form laid flat over his skin. A quick glance at his body under the ragged old sheet he was using revealed similar forms attacked to his legs and abdomen.  
A moment passed as the information was passed to his brain for processing.  
"GYAAAAH! LEECHES! GET 'EM OFF! GET 'EM OFF! GET 'EM OFF! AAAAAAAAUGH!"

Yagami 1/2  
A Ranma 0.5/King of Fighters Crossover  
by Black Dragon  
http: starting this chapter on Christmas Eve Eve so that I have some minor hope of finishing it in January after I get my games for Christmas. I hope I get Front Mission 4! I hope I hope I hope!  
I'm writing this second sentence in February, and shaking my head. I can't believe I slacked off so badly. Also, Front Mission 4 is all right, but I still like Phantom Brave much better.  
On a side note, how weird is it for a twenty-year old guy to ask for video games as gifts, nowadays?

Chapter 12  
Three Wrongs Don't Make a Right, Either

"With two outs and a runner on second, Nagoshima High finally has the opportunity to close an inning without Furinkan High scoring any points, and possibly pull ahead to win the game! In the ninth inning with the score set 11 to 7, Nagoshima needs to put some serious hustle into their game in order to come out on top!" The P.A. system blasted into the evening sky through twin speaker towers, informing the crowd of the events going on below.  
Ranma got up from the batter's bench and chugged down the rest of his soda, eyeing the aluminum stands in the distance where Shampoo and his sister were seated.  
"Next up is the Furinkan's team batting superweapon: RANMA YAGAMI!"  
Picking a bat at random from the small collection, Ranma walked up to the batter's box calmly, not bothering to take a helmet for himself.  
The catcher gulped nervously, and inched away as Ranma took up his position.  
"For those of you who are just joining us, Yagami is single-handedly responsible for 5 of Furinkan's 11 points, and is also responsible for all six burning, molten scars that can be seen in the outfield. In addition, he's also responsible for 6 of the 7 Nagoshima players that have been carried off the field on stretchers so far! Martial arts baseball is certainly not a sport for the timid!"  
Tugging a bit on his collar first, the pitcher stood up a tad shakily, trying to guess which way to leap after throwing the ball.  
When Ranma's bat started to glow purple, he decided on left.  
"And here's the pitch!"  
Ranma tightened his grip on the bat as the ball was thrown, and focused his concentration on the point where the bat was to strike the ball.  
Ka-KROOM!  
"YIPE!" The pitcher dove immediately to the left, and was saved a horribly painful impact as the violet fireball streaked passed directly over the mound and into midfield.  
"I got it! I got it! I got-AAAAAAAAAAAH!" BOOM!  
"And chalk up another casualty from Ranma 'Fireball' Yagami! This is a hot game tonight folks! No pun intended!"  
Ranma discarded the bat and jogged toward first, well aware that at his full dashing speed he would most likely mow down his runner from behind. Glancing toward the outfield, he noted the second baseman anxiously picking up the scorched remains of the baseball before quickly chucking it toward home plate. After which he proceeded to blow frantically on his un-gloved hand to try and cool it.  
"The ball goes toward home... AND THE CATCHER MISSES THE BALL!"  
The Nagoshima catcher cursed as the ball bounced off the edge of his glove (crumbling to chunks of ash in the process), and then turned to note that the runner formerly on second had almost reached him.  
Steeling himself, the young man launched himself forward in a reckless charge.  
Thud!  
"AND THE CATCHER TACKLES THE RUNNER OFF THE BASE LINE! AND NOW HE'S PUMMELING THE RUNNER INTO THE GROUND! IN ACCORDANCE TO THE RULES OF MARTIAL ARTS BASEBALL, THAT'S ANOTHER OUT FOR FURINKAN HIGH!" The announcer cheered through the speakers, eliciting wild cheers from one half of the audience and outraged booing from the other.  
Seeing that the inning was over, Ranma broke off the base line and shook his head as he approached the well-padded baseball player still kneeling on top of Hiroshi, punching the blond boy again and again in the stomach.  
Boot! "Oh, get up you big sissy. He was hitting you with a padded glove, anyway." Ranma said condescendingly, watching as the catcher limply rolled away onto the grass.  
"It still hurt!" Hiroshi whined, getting to his feet unsteadily and glaring back at the groaning catcher. "And where were you? Taking your sweet time getting past first, that's what!"  
"Cool it. The game's almost over, anyway." Taking his glove from the bench, Ranma pounded his fist into a few times experimentally, and then headed to his position at second base.

"And Nagoshima High goes up to bat with a four-point deficiency! Can they make it up before the end?"  
Up in the announcer's stand, the President of the broadcasting club turned an annoyed glance toward the commentator.  
"Are you EVER going to actually say something, Tanada?"  
The young man being addressed failed to reply, and a bit of drool leaked out of the corner of his mouth as he continued staring through his binoculars with laser-like focus toward Furinkan's cheerleading section.  
"Tanada? TANADA!"  
"Don't bother me," the young man snapped, not moving any part of his body other than his mouth, "the new girl is starting another routine."  
"Her name is Min Bogard," the announcer said distastefully. "And as amazingly hot as she is, you've kind of got a job to do here."  
"MY GOD!" The commentator suddenly shouted, startling the other student. "Have you seen her jump! I didn't know they could even move like that..."

CRACK!  
There was a synchronized blink across the entirety of the playing field and the stands as a loud, sharp noise came from the loudspeaker.  
"And we're back with Nagoshima up to bat! Normally at this point in the game we'd get some commentary from the sports club vice president, today's guest commentator, but he just suffered an unfortunate concussion from hitting his head on a metal folding chair. He will not be missed."  
Tomas sweatdropped, but shrugged it off as he stepped up to the pitcher's mound.  
"Batting first on the Nagoshima team is Goda Kimura! And it looks like Furinkan is attempting to bring this game to an early close by pulling out their pitching superweapon: Tomas Bogard! This guy can throw a ball faster than most guided missiles can travel, and with twice the impact damage! Nagoshima is in trouble now!"  
The batter frowned doubtfully at the announcer's booth, then shook his head at the feeble intimidation tactic.  
Then his eyes widened as he saw Furinkan's catcher drag a thick four-by-two foot armored shield to his position in the rear of the batter's box, settling in behind the hunk of metal.  
Tomas grinned slightly as the batter started sweating and began his windup, his entire body glowing red with the power of his battle aura.  
"And here's the pitch!"  
VOOOSH! WHANG!  
The catcher grunted as his shield threatened to fall over onto him from the force of the throw, but the sheer weight of the armor prevailed, and the young man sighed in relief.  
"STRIKE ONE!" The umpire yelled, raising a hand in the air.  
The batter blinked, and then blinked again. Then he turned to look at his bat. Or at least, what used to be his bat. The greater part of the item had been blown away from just being near the high-velocity projectile, leaving him with little more than a splintered handle.  
"Maybe I should get an aluminum one..." he mused out loud, having yet to fully come to terms with what he was up against.  
"I wouldn't recommend it," the catcher said off-handedly. "The metal bats won't disintegrate on impact the way the wooden ones do. Metal fragments can be dangerous, you know?"  
The batter filed that thought in the back of his mind, then looked out at the opposing team.  
On the pitcher's mound, Tomas began to charge up his second throw, and waves of ki began to flood out from him in small waves, stirring up the dirt below.  
Immediately the batter turned toward the bench. "I CALL FOR A FORFEIT!"

"I don't know. I just don't know." Ranma shook her head and poked at her ice cream sundae as she frowned. "I mean, sure, it was fun. Kind of. But is that something I wanna do all the time? I don't think so."  
Sitting next to her, Yurumi slowly licked her ice cream cone away, but was mostly distracted watching Shampoo, who sat next to her. Apparently the Amazon warrior, living out in wilder areas of China, had never had ice cream before, and the young woman was finding her first time in a parlor to be an experience that bordered on the orgasmic.  
Tomas shrugged and took a bite of his sundae, trying (and mostly failing) to ignore the pleasant moaning that came from Shampoo every time her plastic spoon found a hidden deposit of hot fudge under the cream. Gulp "Well, if you had fun and you did really well, then why not keep doing it? I mean, why wouldn't you want to join the team and do it all the time?"  
Ranma took a bite of her own sundae, then sighed. "It's no challenge. I mean, you and I were DOMINATING out there. And martial arts baseball isn't nearly physical enough, anyway. I'd much rather cut out the boring game part and do something with more straight-out fighting."  
"You could try martial arts soccer," Min said, pausing in eating her banana split. "I mean, the games usually last two minutes before both teams forget about the ball and just bum rush each other. The winning team walks away with the game."  
"I tried that when I was in junior high," Ranma said, sighing. "No go. I tend to forget myself during those large-scale mob fights, and kept injuring too many teammates."  
"Martial arts football?" Tomas suggested.  
"I hate the pads. Too damn bulky. Besides, any game that requires that much protection is a sissy game anyway."  
"Martial arts hockey?" Tomas tried.  
Ranma and Min stared at him, eyebrows raised.  
"Martial arts hockey? Why would anyone need to put more fighting in a hockey game?" Min deadpanned.  
"Cut me some slack!" Ranma muttered. "I don't like violence THAT much!"  
Ranma returned to her eating, and was lowering her spoon to take another bite, when she came to the important realization that there was no longer a bowl of ice cream in front of her.  
Slurp Chomp Shlup  
Ranma slowly turned to look at Shampoo, who had broken all pretense of mealtime civility and was holding Ranma's bowl up to her face, gulping down the contents as quickly as possible.  
"Hey! That's mine!"  
Gulp! Clack! Shampoo released a long, satisfied sigh as she dropped the empty bowl on the table. "Aiyah... caramel... too... too... good..."  
"My ice cream..." Ranma mumbled sadly, twitching.  
"Well, whatever. Fine," Tomas muttered, idly poking his own sundae with his spoon. "What I really want to know is, why did you change into a girl right before we came in here?"  
Min smirked and started speaking before Ranma could muster up an answer. "In Japanese culture, eating ice cream is generally considered 'unmanly'."  
Tomas blinked, then looked down at his own sundae. "Really? ... Nah. You're making this up."  
"No, she's right," Ranma said, leaning back while occasionally glaring at Shampoo. "I wouldn't be caught dead eating this stuff as a guy." Seeing Tomas' uncomfortable look, she added, "Not that there's really anything wrong with it, I mean."  
"Sooooo... Japanese girls don't like guys who eat ice cream?" The American said uncertainly.  
Min scratched her chin a bit as she thought about it. "Well... it's not... you know, a RULE or anything... but generally, yeah."  
Tomas looked at his cousin, then glanced at Shampoo. Then he looked down at his sundae.  
Finally, he turned back toward Min. "I'm afraid that in a decision between ice cream and girls, girls don't even rank close."  
"Amen, brother," Ranma said bitterly.  
Shampoo finished wiping the ice cream and chocolate from her face, and held up the napkin, quietly debating whether or not to attempt to eat its absorbed contents. "Why Ranma not just buy more?"  
"Only if you promise not to steal and eat that. I don't have much money."  
The Amazon turned to Ranma and melted into her cutest, most adorable expression, innocently blinking wide, moist eyes at the pigtailed girl as she bunched her hands under her chin.  
Ranma groaned and threw her hands up in disgust, moving out of the booth to buy her Chinese friend more ice cream.  
Back in the booth, Shampoo smiled gleefully as Yurumi gave her a thumbs-up.  
"I knew it," Tomas murmured, glancing at Min, "you're all in this together, aren't you?"  
Min just smiled and shrugged.

"I-I'm t-telling you! I d-don't know who you're talking about!"  
The man swallowed deeply as the imposing figure before him brought the blade closer to his throat.  
"You're sure, now?" The figure said menacingly. "An Amazon warrior is a difficult character to miss. If she had been around here-and my sources say she has-then people would have noticed, and there would have been talk."  
"I'm sorry!" The man shouted, sweating bullets. "I don't keep up on local gossip! I swear I'm not lying to you! I just wouldn't know!"  
The Chinese teenage boy snorted and pulled his sword away, drawing it back into his oversized sleeve with a flick of his wrist. "Hmph. Fine, be that way. I've no time for cowards nor imbeciles."

Mousse kept his back straight as he turned away from the man, trying his best to assert total confidence through his demeanor.  
'These Japanese are pitiful. Why on Earth did Shampoo come to such a place? It's ill-fitting for someone of her strength and status.' Mousse's eyes swept the streets as he walked toward a supermarket center, coming into thicker crowds of people. Although it was mid-day on a weekend, the pedestrians were relatively sparse milling about the open food stands, enough so that the Chinese boy didn't feel uncomfortable with the idea of grabbing another passer-by and interrogating him in public.  
Finding a group of blurs that, with his glasses on, he was able to identify as people, Mousse sneered and stalked forward, his long hair swaying side to side from his imposing gait.

"How about these? I've always liked the honeydew melons more than watermelons anyway."  
Joshin shrugged as he picked up a fresh batch of bananas and inspected them for freshness. "Select whichever you'd like. It's hardly a black tie affair. In all practicality the fruit plate is merely a decoration on the way to the beer keg."  
"You make it sound like a frat party," Hashiru said, picking up several bunches of grapes. "Not everyone enjoys wine and classical music, dude."  
"Of course not," Joshin agreed, "only the cultured intellectuals."  
"Plus you, too," Hana said wryly, standing next to her cousin.  
Joshin mumbled quietly as Hashiru laughed out loud, and then blinked as he saw a tall, unfamiliar teenage boy in long robes stalk up to them somewhat imposingly.  
Before he could question the young man, or alert the others, the boy had reached Hashiru's position, and tapped the gang leader on the shoulder.  
"Hm?" Hashiru turned around hesitantly, expecting to see Joshin pointing to some expensive item they didn't need for the party.  
The last thing he expected was to see a teenage boy wearing coke-bottle glasses to grab him by the shirt and attempt to yank him up into the air.  
Mousse sweatdropped as he realized that he had done nothing but stretch his victim's shirt up over his face. This guy was a bit heavier than he looked. 'Figures I'd pick a big guy. Oh well. Gotta roll with it now.'  
Hashiru blinked. Nobody had ever tried to intimidate him like this before. He had been subjected to threats and intimidation attempts all his life, but having a smaller man try to haul him up and stare him down was completely new. Being a tall, bulky man who looked like he could wipe the floor with most of the models featured in Iron Man magazine had assured that, even among people who didn't know he was also a famed gang boss.  
Not sure whether he should be amused or irritated, he stuck his free hand in his pocket so that it matched his other one. "Is there something I can help you with?"  
Mousse frowned and let go of Hashiru's shirt so that he could look the other man in the eyes. "As a matter of fact, there might be. I require information, foreigner."  
Hashiru ignored the irony of being called "foreigner" in his own country. "Riiiiight. Who are you, again?"  
"I said **I** require information. Not you," Mousse growled. "Tell me what you know of a girl named Shampoo!"  
The gang boss raised an eyebrow (not that Mousse could see it beneath his hair), recognizing the name instantly. "Who wants to know?"  
"I guess you didn't hear me," Mousse said conversationally, pulling back his arm. "**I'm** asking the questions around here!"  
Shnk! Mousse thrust his arm forward, and a relatively thick sword blade slipped out of his sleeve, passing right next to Hashiru's ear.  
Hashiru didn't even flinch, although he did look up and shake his head when he saw Joshin and two of his other cronies surrounding the Amazon to attack on his command. "S'all right boys. I've got this." Then he stared down at the Chinese boy, ignoring the blade just millimeters from his ear. "Your Japanese is pretty good, kid."  
"I'm a fast learner," Mousse said, slightly perturbed that his victim hadn't even been startled by the appearance of a weapon.  
"Good to hear," Hashiru said, smiling.  
Faster than Mousse could hope to track, Hashiru's right hand whipped out of his pocket and smashed Mousse's arm aside, easily knocking the sword out of the Amazon's grip.  
Then, just fast enough that he COULD track, but not slow enough that he could do anything about it, the gang leader's same arm grabbed him around the throat, gripping in such a way so that Mousse found himself in severe pain while still able to breathe with relative ease.  
"Now here's the lesson, four-eyes, and there WILL be a test afterwards: I'm not sure how they do things wherever you're from, but around here, a degree of politeness is required when you ask information from random people on the street."  
Mousse, in a panic, swept his other hand to the side, letting an iron mace slide out of his sleeve and into his grip.  
Whong! With all the strength he could muster with his limited leverage, Mousse slammed Hashiru in the side of the head with the weapon.  
Hashiru frowned, having barely twitched from the impact. "Here's the next lesson: Don't do that again."  
Without bothering to counterattack, Hashiru shoved his arm forward and let go of Mousse's neck, tossing the Chinese boy painfully into the middle of the street.

Joshin sweatdropped as his superior turned back toward the fruit stand. "All sorts of odd characters popping up nowadays, hmm?"  
Hashiru just grunted. "So do you think we should invite the underclassmen, or what? It's not a Clan Ra affair, exactly."  
Hana grimaced. "Probably not. We're stretching the capacity of the studio as it is. Save them for a school party."  
Mousse got up slowly, mentally scrolling through the list of the more lethal weapons he carried on his person. The presence of Hashiru's friends hadn't quite registered yet in Mousse's mind, though it wouldn't have made much difference if it had; the Amazon had a long-standing habit of ruthless, single-minded focus.  
Then Hana raised an eyebrow. "How about Yagami and his friends? Planning to give them a call?"  
However, even in his present state of laser-like hate, the name that he had been obsessing over for the last two months caught his attention, and Mousse refrained from releasing the scythes he had grabbed hold of within his voluminous weapon-space.  
Hashiru idly rubbed the part of his skull that had been struck with the mace. "Yeah, that sounds good. I'll give 'im a call. Maybe I'll invite him to our battle party next week, too. He seems like a pretty cool guy."  
Hana sweatdropped. "Don't tell me you just want to invite him over just so you can beat him."  
"Don't tell me you're surprised."  
Hashiru grinned at his cousin, but that grin dropped as he saw Mousse push himself to his feet.  
"Well China boy," the gang leader said conversationally, correctly guessing Mousse's country of origin, "are we ready to ask a little nicer now? Maybe say 'please'?"  
Mousse snorted and dusted himself off. "You probably don't even have the information I need. I don't have time to waste with your kind." Turning around pointedly, the Chinese Amazon held his nose up in the air and walked away, displaying such lofty arrogance that Joshin couldn't help but be impressed.  
"Do what you want," Hashiru said suddenly, causing Mousse to pause, "but leave random pedestrians out of it."  
Mousse slowly turned his head, and frowned as he stared at the unreadable lock of hair that covered Hashiru's eyes.  
"We don't tolerate fighters who use their strength to harass defenseless, innocent people. If we see you causing trouble, we WILL take you down."  
Mousse smirked. "Hmph. You don't frighten me, street vagrant. You think to intimidate an Amazon warrior? I merely mistook you for a common lowlife before. Should you attempt to escalate, you WILL regret it!" To emphasize the point, Mousse swept his right arm in front of him, and a fan of pointed blades burst from his sleeve.  
Joshin and the other two fighters frowned, marginally impressed by the display.  
Hashiru stood silent for a moment, and then tapped Hana on the shoulder. "Hey cuz?"  
"What?"  
"Aren't Amazon warriors supposed to be FEMALE?"  
"HEY!" Mousse shouted angrily, "There are male Amazons, too! Why shouldn't we be warriors!"  
Hana jerked back, surprised at Mousse's outburst. "But... then... you're NOT a woman?"  
Crash! Mousse's face, meet Mr. Concrete.  
Hashiru sweatdropped. "Uh... well, I know he has the long hair... and with the robes you can't really tell if he has any... you know... but-"  
"I AM A MAN!" Mousse shouted, jumping to his feet and glaring hotly in the general direction of the "woman" comment.  
Then, without waiting for any further response, the Amazon turned around on his heel and stomped away, muttering irritably the whole time.

Hana sweatdropped at she watched the young man stalk off. "Do you think it was a bad idea to make him mad?"  
"I think it was a bad idea not to stomp him then and there," commented one of the other fighters who were escorting their superiors.  
"Amazon, huh? Didn't deny the 'China boy' jab. And looking for Yagami's girl." Hashiru turned back toward the fruit stand, still musing.  
"A relative, perhaps? Or maybe a concerned tribesman?" Joshin offered.  
The gang boss shrugged. "I'm leaning toward jilted lover, myself."  
"That's because you always have your mind in the gutter," Hana admonished her cousin sternly.  
"Hmm," he mumbled, not even attempting to deny the accusation. "Whatever. It doesn't concern us. Do you think this honeydew's ripe?"  
"Considering that's a cantaloupe... I'm going to say no."

Ranma pulled back as Shampoo struck forward again and again with her bonbori, letting the Amazon build up forward momentum as she pressed her attack.  
He smirked as she reached the critical point in her attack; the next strike might hit him if she went for it, but at the same time the final burst of speed would unbalance her and leave her vulnerable to a punishing counterattack.  
Shampoo knew this too, apparently, and Ranma was surprised to see her pull back to the defensive, trying to catch her breath.  
"Huh. I'm surprised you didn't go for it. Playing it safe today, Shamps?" Ranma smirked as the Amazon fumed.  
"Ranma play defense too much; if Ranma just jump around all day, Shampoo not going to improve!" Shampoo protested, still guarding herself. Not that Ranma was the type to lash out at someone who had relaxed their guard, but it was a hard-earned habit of her Amazon training, and one that she still valued.  
Ranma just smiled again in that unforgivably cocky way. "I can't play too rough with you! What if I messed up your hair or something?"  
Whock!  
Ranma grimaced and fell over backward as the bonbori struck him right in the face. "Okay... fine. I pretty much deserved that."  
Shampoo glared down at him, arms crossed under her breasts. "Shampoo know Ranma very stronger. Ranma no need prove it."  
The pigtailed boy sighed and picked himself up off the ground. "All right, all right. But it's not like I'm holding back just to tease you, you know. I..." Ranma frowned and looked slightly embarrassed. "I don't wanna hurt you or nothin'. You know, like Tomas hurt me the other week."  
Shampoo's expression softened, but then her determination hardened once more, and she opened her mouth as she prepared to give him a long, if grammatically butchered, lecture on why he should take her just as seriously as Tomas as a sparring partner.  
At that point, one doubtful brain cell decided to flash the rest of her mind a vivid memory of exactly what Ranma was talking about.

Ranma watched curiously as Shampoo stood in front of her with her mouth partially open, apparently frozen in mid-scold.  
Then a sweatdrop rolled down her head, and the Chinese Amazon regained her former composure, frowning thoughtfully.  
"Uh... so, you really want me to take our matches to that level?" Ranma scratched the back of his head nervously. "I mean, it's not that I think you can't handle it, but... uhm..."  
"Ranma not have to try THAT hard," Shampoo said, selecting her words more carefully than usual, "but need be more aggressive in spar with Shampoo! Is not help when jump around all time!"  
"Noted," he said simply. "Defensive position."  
Shampoo blinked, not understanding the off-hand suggestion.  
Whock! The open-palm strike to her shoulder was far more successful in that respect, and Shampoo tucked into a roll as she was knocked backwards, eventually flipping back onto her feet while holding the painful bruise that was already forming.  
Ranma sweatdropped and chuckled nervously. "Uhm... sorry? Do you want me to give you more warning next time?"  
Shampoo actually debated saying yes before her rational mind seized control and settled on glaring at the pigtailed boy. Standing up, the Amazon collected what was left of her composure and struck back, moving her bonbori in a wide horizontal arc.  
Ranma ducked and twisted in a foot sweep, smiling appraisingly as his partner nimbly skipped to safety. With powerhouses like himself, Tomas, and Hashiru around, he supposed that someone as proficient and experienced in fighting as Shampoo would start to feel inferior and want to improve significantly to try and keep up.  
He deflected a bonbori strike, and then darted forward, clotheslining the purple-haired girl and tossing her across the room. 'Don't know how she'll do that, though. Me, Tomas, Hashiru, even Min... we've all got some abilities that no normal martial arts style can match. She's got an awfully long way to go...'

"Yurumi dear, do you know where your brother is?" Nodoka asked her daughter as she hauled the wet laundry out into the backyard.  
Yurumi, who had been feeding the koi, turned around to face her mother. "Uhm... I think he went to Dad's practice room with Shampoo. He said they didn't want to be disturbed, though."  
The young redhead blinked as Nodoka's eyes lit up and a flush came over her.  
"My! Ranma's become so daring! Ah, to be that age again..." her flush darkened as she closed her eyes, smiling pleasantly and holding a wet apron against her chest. "The flirting... the romance... the spontaneous bursts of raw lust... the experimentation..."  
A sweatdrop rolled down Yurumi's head. "Uh... Mom? What are you talking about?"  
Nodoka simply smiled at her youngest and began hanging up the laundry. "Never mind that, Yurumi. You'll understand when you're older."  
The young girl sweatdropped again as her mother began to hang the laundry to dry. 'Maybe I will... but do you even understand NOW?'  
Dismissing Nodoka's most recent string of weirdness, Yurumi dumped the last of the fish food into the koi pond and then turned toward the horizon, taking a moment to peacefully enjoy the midday sun.  
Whoosh! Thunk!  
She jerked back in surprise as an arrow appeared overhead and stuck firmly into the partially-burned tree on the side of the yard, and quickly turned toward where she guessed was the source of the weapon.  
"Wha! Hey! It's that guy from before!" She pointed out into the neighbor's yard as a barely visible figure jumped down from the trees, making his escape from the area.  
"Oh! I see we have some mail!"  
Yurumi jerked forward at the exclamation, with her back bent forward and her arms held straight out.  
Then another sweatdrop rolled down her head as she watched her mother walk up to the arrow and remove the note tied to it, looking for all the world as if it were her most familiar medium of communication.  
"Hmmm... 'To Ranma Yagami, or To Whom it May Concern: there will be an informal recreational gathering this evening at about 6:00 PM at the old amphitheatre next to the processing plant on the edge of town. Food, drink, dancing and games. Bring some friends. Hashiru.'"  
Yurumi frowned. "It's from that big guy that Ranma beat a few days ago."  
"Oh dear, this just won't do..." Nodoka frowned. "He'll need time to get ready! But I can't interrupt him now! Oh my..."  
"I don't think Ranma would be THAT upset if you interrupted their sparring," the young girl said dubiously.  
"'Sparring'? Is that what they call it now?" Nodoka giggled. "Oh my. Well I wouldn't want to interrupt his 'sparring' then."  
"Interrupt it for what?"  
Nodoka and her daughter both turned around as Ranma entered the rear patio with a towel wrapped around his neck, and without his usual jacket.  
Nodoka blinked. "Done so soon?"  
Ranma nodded, using the towel to wipe some sweat off his head and neck. "Well, we were working pretty hard in there. I guess it got a little too intense for Shampoo. She's a little sore, so she's taking a breather for now." Idly wondering why his mother suddenly looked so proud, he glanced at the letter she was holding. "What's up?"  
"Oh! This is an invitation from one of your friends to a party being held later this evening!" She handed the letter to him, and Ranma went over it critically.  
"Huh. Weird. I guess he's not too angry about losing the match the other day." He shrugged. "Well, why not? I guess I'll see if Tomas and Min want to go, too."  
"Ooh! Can I come?" Yurumi asked, jumping up brightly.  
"Oh, no!" Nodoka said immediately, crossing her arms over her chest. "Yurumi, parties thrown by college boys are no place for a little girl!"  
"They're not?" The redhead asked.  
"They're not?" Ranma said at the same time.  
"Of course not!" Nodoka insisted. "Why there's booze, crude language, despicable behavior, violence, illegal substances, and drunken, lecherous teenage boys wandering around and groping anything that moves! It's a horrible environment for someone your age!"  
"I think that would be a horrible environment for someone of any age," Ranma said, sweatdropping. 'Hashiru's gang seemed like nice guys... then again, they ARE a gang...'  
"Oh, no, of course **you** can go, Ranma," Nodoka said, smiling. "Teenage boys need to get out and live life to the fullest! I wouldn't think of trying to impose on your social life!"  
A second sweatdrop joined the first. "Is that any excuse for the things you just described?"  
"Oh, come now, you don't really want your mother prying into your private life, do you?" Nodoka said amiably, pushing Ranma into the house and leading him toward his room.  
"Is that even the issue here?" The pigtailed boy asked, his voice strained.  
"No time for that! You have to go change!"

Nodoka finished nudging Ranma toward his room, and then came downstairs, humming merrily.  
Shampoo, who had caught her second wind and was ready to find Ranma again, noticed her on the way down. "Ah! Mother know where Ranma is? He say he come back right away."  
"Oh, that!" Nodoka grinned happily. "He was invited to a social event and went upstairs to prepare. I'm sure he'll take you with him, so you should probably get ready as well."  
Shampoo nodded, and was about to go retrieve her own clothes, when the older woman sidled up next to her.  
"So, tell me... is my son... skilled?"  
The Amazon blinked, surprised that Ranma's own mother could not be aware of how far he exceeded that vague, simple standard. "Ranma too, too skilled! Is best partner Shampoo ever have!" Which was technically true, as her teachers back at the village wouldn't really be considered as sparring partners in the strictest sense.  
If Nodoka had been physically capable of the feat, she would have been glowing like a light bulb.  
"I see! And his endurance?" Nodoka asked bluntly, throwing subtlety to the wind.  
"More than Shampoo to deal with," the Amazon muttered a little wistfully.  
She sweatdropped and started to back away as the older woman giggled and turned away, returning to her laundry with a spring in her step and humming a much louder tune.  
Yurumi approached her from the side, and shook her head. "My mom is just weird, huh?"  
"Is... Is rude to say to host," Shampoo said uncertainly, idly scratching her chin.  
"Was that a yes?" The young redhead asked flatly.  
"... Is yes."

"I still don't get it, really," Tomas said, frowning. "Explain to me again who this Hashiru guy is."  
Min sighed and patted herself down. While Tomas was wearing his usual street ensemble, she was wearing a pair of super-short cut-off jeans, a tank top, and a blue nylon jacket in preparartion for the party.  
"Well, I don't really understand much of it either. The homicidal whack-job from the old King of Fighters tourneys apparently had a kid who grew up as some kind of weird mirror-image anti-whack-job. He heads a gang of martial artist Boy Scouts, and was the one who kept sending people to challenge Ranma."  
"And then Ranma beat him up," the American asked, scratching his forehead under his hat.  
"Yeah. And now, a few days later, the same guy invites Ranma back over to a party in his clubhouse or something, and Ranma invited us."  
Tomas frowned. "And you're not worried about this?"  
"Well, a little bit," Min admitted, looking nervous. "Do you think this outfit looks slutty? I mean, it's obvious I'm trying to show off my legs, but is it OBVIOUS obvious?"  
Tomas just sweatdropped. "Forget it. I'm not going there."  
"What? You're a teenage guy, I'm just asking your opinion! Do I look easy?"  
"NOT GOING THERE!" Tomas repeated loudly, facing away from his cousin. "Besides, are you back to trying to snag Yagami, or what?"  
Min blinked, then looked away uncomfortably. "Well... kinda. You know, I figured that just because he's got some weird curse doesn't make him any less of a man, but... well, you were right. I shouldn't rush into anything." She shrugged, smiling. "So I thought I'd go out with him and see what happens, you know? Just treat him like any other guy."  
"Mmm." Tomas grunted noncommittally as he spotted the subject of their conversation heading up the road with Shampoo in tow. "Well, I think you'll have to pry the Amazon offa him, first. Hey Ranma!"  
"Pry the Amazon off of... huh?" Min blinked as her cousin went on ahead of her, and her eyes narrowed as she watched Shampoo walk up to meet them along with Ranma. The Chinese girl was actually wearing normal street clothes this time, in a dark blue mini-skirt and black T-shirt, along with a pair of black cloth armbands.  
'I never thought about her before... are she and Ranma just friends? Or...?' Then she grimaced. Assuming the Chinese warrior didn't have a man she or Tomas didn't know about, what guy could resist making a play for the bubbly, affectionate foreign girl? 'Not to mention she has a body that ALMOST measures up to mine,' Min thought, frowning. 'It's never easy, is it?'

"So how far away is this place, anyway?" Tomas asked Ranma as they walked down the street.  
Ranma frowned as he scanned the sidewalks. "Not far. But it's getting dark already. I wish he'd hold his parties in a school or something. They're easier to find."  
"Let's see..." Min squinted as she looked at the next intersection. "Should be the next left!"  
Upon rounding the corner, the group of teenagers came upon a large building in the described place. Although a dull, heavy hum of activity came from within the structure, it was mostly muted by the thick, solid construction of the facility, and the most obvious sign of use was instead an old lamp outside the back entrance, under which a single college student wearing a hooded sweater stood.  
Ranma noted that the young man was smoking a cigarette as he leaned against the wall of the building, and made a face as he stepped closer to the stench. "Excuse me? Is this Yamazaki's party? Hashiru Yamazaki?"  
The hooded fellow looked up, and rolled the cigarette from one end of his mouth to the other. "Who wants to know?"  
"I'm Ranma Yagami. I was invited earlier today?" Ranma asked, holding out the letter. "Here's the invitation."  
The man ignored Ranma and fingered his cigarette. "Yagami? Nah, don't remember no Yagami on the list. You 'aint on the list, you 'aint gettin' in."  
"But I have the invitation right here!" Ranma protested, annoyed.  
The man at the door simply smirked and took a deep drag off his cigarette. Then he removed it and blew a thick stream of smoke right into Ranma's face.  
"Sorry kiddo, no can do. You guys look like high school kids t'me. Can't let ya in if you're not on the list." Smirking, the college boy dropped his current cigarette into the glass tray on the ground next to him, and took another out of the plastic box in his pocket. Then he looked up at Ranma, whose eye was twitching. "Got a light, kid?"  
"Uh oh..." Tomas mumbled, backing away along with the girls.  
"A light?" Ranma asked through clenched teeth. "Sure. I have a light." Then he poked the end of the annoying teenager's cigarette with his index finger, grinning when the man blinked.  
FWOOSH! The college student's face disappeared momentarily in a burst of purple light, and when the flame subsided, his cigarette crumbled apart into a small stream of ash that floated away from his blackened face.  
Cough! Cough! "Ergh...

purple flame?" He blinked. "Oh. THAT Yagami. Yeah, okay. Go on in."  
"That's what I thought," Ranma mumbled, pulling the door open and holding it for his friends.  
The soot-covered teenager immediately reached for his pack of cigarettes even as Ranma's party entered, only to have it snatched away.  
Shampoo threw the plastic-wrapped box on the ground, and then smashed it under her foot, all the while wagging a finger at the man. "That very, very bad for you!" Frowning cutely, the Amazon followed her friends into the auditorium, ignoring his sputtered protests.

"B-But... I... Hey! My... My smokes..."  
The young man sulked by himself for a moment, alone in the pallid light cast by the old lamp above.  
"Yeesh. Well, THIS night has completely sucked. What next?"  
And those were his last words before a large, blunt object struck him from behind and sent him plummeting into unconsciousness.

Ranma was aware of only two things once he entered the amphitheatre: the pounding, rhythmic hum of J-Pop dance music, and a long table loaded with snacks and hunks of meat. And in all honesty, he had only noticed the music because he would have had to have been deaf NOT to.  
Shampoo sweatdropped upon seeing the young Yagami dart toward the food, but made no attempt to stop him. Looking around the amphitheatre, she had to admit she was impressed by simple magnitude of the gathering. Again the contrasts of tribal life and the modern world were punctuated as she watched a small horde of boys and girls cheering on a video game match on a huge, flat-screen TV mounted on the wall. People wearing clothes of all kinds of colors and designs gathered and danced chaotically on the main floor. In a separate part of the building, several teenagers rolled up and down a half-pipe on skateboards and roller skates. And in the rear of the amphitheatre, more attendees swam the length of a large indoor pool fashioned from a pit that had clearly been made for other uses.  
"NICE," Tomas said appraisingly, looking around the building. "And no white powder in sight, yet. Not bad at all."  
Min smirked and lightly elbowed her cousin. "Well this isn't going to be QUITE as wild as your typical South Town gang party. Japanese conformist culture, you know?"  
Before Tomas could form a reply, a loud clap was heard behind them, and the three teenagers turned around to see Hashiru rubbing his hands together.  
"Well, well, well! An Amazon AND a Ninja! And what fine examples of our female fighter comrades!" Hashiru grinned upon seeing the two young women shake their heads, and put a hand in his pocket. "And who is this lucky fellow here, to be graced with such beatiful company?"  
Tomas blinked. "Eh? Uh... Name's Tomas. Tomas Bogard."  
"American, huh? Nice. Skill level?" Hashiru asked bluntly, deliberately slipping into a much friendlier tone.  
Tomas grinned. "I gave Yagami a punch that left him broken and nauseous for a couple days."  
"Ouch! Nice!" the gang boss said, smiling. Ignoring the disapproving stares from the girls, he looked around the room, trying to see about the milling crowds of people. "So where is the pyro? Gotta congratulate him for leaving me bloody and unconscious on the ground the other day."  
"Ranma over by food table," Shampoo said, still scanning the festivities. "You not have good luck if try talk to Ranma now."  
Hashiru nodded. "Noted. In that case..." he immediately turned and put his free arm over Min's shoulder, causing the three guests to sweatdrop in tandem. "Rowr! You know, they say Ninjas' natural dexterity makes them **excellent** lovers. What do you think?"  
"I think you'd better remove that arm, or you'll lose it. I know it's your favorite one." Then her eyes narrowed. "As far as Ninja go, you have a much better chance of sleeping with that lapdog Crow, or whatever his name was."  
"Mee-YOW!" The gang boss immediately retracted his arm, though his grin didn't even twitch. "The cold sting of bald rejection... it cuts deep, leaving the soul and heart frozen in the same mass of lonely ice..." The girls blinked at his monologue, and jumped back, startled, when he suddenly straightened. "Oh well. I'm already seeing somebody, anyway. So make yourselves at home or whatever; I'm gonna go talk to Yagami."  
Min sweatdropped again as he walked away easily, and then frowned. "I can't tell... was he a jerk or not?"  
"I'm gonna say yes," Tomas muttered, "but at least he's up-front about it. See you girls later." The American put his hands in his pockets and walked away toward a different corner of the amphitheatre, leaving his cousin alone with Shampoo.

"Hmph. Talk about your crossed wires," Min complained, crossing her arms over her chest. "Drops a line like that and then leaves without even flinching!"  
Shampoo shrugged, still deciding where she wanted to go first. "Is good. Some men keep bother you, and never stop bother."  
"Not a fan of clingy, needy types, eh?" Seeing the purple-haired girl shudder, Min smirked. "So, is there a Mr. Mighty Amazon Warrior? Or did you ditch him coming to Japan?"  
"Was stupid boy who always pester Shampoo in village," the Amazon said with honest bitterness, which somewhat startled Min, "and never leave Shampoo alone. Because him, terrible thing happen when Ranma cursed in China." She began to walk along the wall of the amphitheatre, trying to get a better view of all the goings-on.  
"Really? What happened?" Min quickly followed the other girl, thoroughly intrigued.  
Shampoo sighed. "Can't tell. Promise not to. But it so bad, stupid boy what bother Shampoo exiled from village. He outcast now."  
"Whoa," the Ninja girl mumbled. "That sounds pretty heavy."  
"Is very serious thing! Many Amazon take execution, or take own life, before suffer such dishonor!" Shampoo said somberly.  
"Hey there chicas! What's the word, pretty ladies?"  
The two girls turned their heads at the catcalls, and rolled their eyes as a group of college students, each bearing Clan Ra's conspicuous ankh emblem on amulets around their necks.  
"I just KNOW I would've noticed two such fine examples of womanhood around here before! Must be new!"  
"You ladies wanna play around a little? It's a big party!"  
Shampoo was just about to dismiss the young lechers when Min, who appeared to be distracted by something over near the skateboard ramps, spoke up first.  
"Hey, is that a fighting ring?"  
The men blinked, and the one in the lead nodded. "Yeah. Some guys like the video games, you know? But some o' the crew prefer the real thing."  
Then Min turned, smiling pleasantly. "All right, then. Let's go play!"

"And here we have my good friend Yagami! Enjoying yourself?"  
Hashiru waited patiently as he stood behind Ranma, waiting for the shorter man to answer him.  
"... Uh, hey? Yagami?"  
"Sorry, the takoyaki is mine," Ranma answered automatically, taking the last of the octopus balls.  
Hashiru sweatdropped. "Ranma. Yo. It's me."  
Chomp! Gulp "Who's 'me'?"  
"You could try turning around and looking," the gang boss said irritably.  
"Or I can ignore you and keep eating," Ranma reasoned, reaching for the fruit plate.  
"All right, fine, it's Hashiru!" the gang leader said, grabbing Ranma's hand before he could continue eating.  
Ranma blinked, and finally turned toward the blond man. "Oh. Hi. What's up?"  
Hashiru smiled and let go of him. "Just wanted to ask how you're feeling! You walked away from that fight the other day with some deep bruises."  
"You didn't walk away from it at all," Ranma countered, grinning.  
Hashiru's smile dropped, and he stared at the pigtailed boy with an unreadable expression. "Okay, look, I'm trying to be the graceful loser here. Are you gonna act like this all the time?"  
Ranms stuck a chunk of melon in his mouth and quickly swallowed it. "Two more jabs. Then I'm done." Without looking away from Hashiru, he began to grope around at the fruit plate for more food. "I mean, don't get me wrong, Chomp I enjoyed myself, but after all that buildup where I had to defeat your underlings to get to you, Crunch I'm feeling pretty damn proud about the win."  
"Heh. Yeah..." Hashiru scrubbed his hair with his hand. "If nothing else, I at least have to admit I was a bit outclassed back there. Managed to take you by surprise, though."  
"Surprised?" Ranma's hand found a branch of grapes, and he tore it away from the mound of fruit. "You shoulda seen your face when I ducked under the fireball! I mean, I couldn't see your eyes under the hair and all, but I bet they were as big as dinner plates!"  
Hashiru twitched. "That's two..."  
"Anyhoo," Ranma began again, quickly tearing the grapes off and eating them, "you'd be pretty good sparring partner. Wanna join up with us sometime? You could pick up a few things from hanging out with us."  
"I don't suppose you'd be interested in joining up with me, would ya?" Hashiru grinned and gestured to the rest of the amphitheatre. "A guy like you'd fit right in around here! And the perks are great! College tuition, free soda, and a gold-plated symbol borne from a dead culture to wear around your neck!"  
"Thanks, but no thanks. Gangs really aren't my thing." Ranma's hand found a piece of apple, and he popped it in his mouth. Crunch Crunch "I mean, I'm not a real team player, ya know?" He swallowed the apple, and then grinned. "Besides, won't having a member who can kick your ass blindfolded hurt your authority?"  
"And that's three," Hashiru mumbled, a vein popping up on his head. "Next one'll cost you a jaw, pyro-boy."  
"Fair enough. But don't call me pyro-boy," Ranma said calmly, reaching behind him for more fruit. His hand found something, and he gripped it gently as he noted its squishy softness, contrasted to a very dry, fuzzy texture. "Eh? What kinda fruit is this?" He asked, turning around to look at what he had grabbed.  
"'Melon', I believe," Hashiru said, grinning as Ranma stared into the eyes of an irritated-looking woman, his hand squeezing her right breast.  
"Uh..." Ranma slowly looked up from the point of contact, and swallowed nervously. "I can explain this..."  
"Good," the young woman said sharply, "then do so AFTER you get your hands off me."  
"Yipe!" Yelping like a dog, Ranma zipped away and moved behind Hashiru, stuttering loud and awkward apologies.  
Hashiru chuckled. "Always scarin' off the new kids, aren't you Kanu?"  
The girl rolled her eyes. "Like you have room to talk. You're becoming a worse and worse influence." Then she straightened. "Some of the freshman left and made off with one of the kegs. I sent Raven on a beer run."  
The gang leader sighed. "Damn kids... I'll have to confront them later." Then he frowned. "Wait... how many has Raven had tonight? He can't be good to drive."  
Kanu blinked, then sweatdropped. "Oh... er... yeah. That would explain why his motorcycle was sort of wobbling as it left." Seeing Hashiru hang his head, the college girl decided to change the subject, and stepped around so she could face Ranma again. "So pretty boy, seeing how you've already 'introduced' yourself, wanna give me a name and number?"  
"Wh-What?" Ranma squeaked, taken aback by the sudden smile from the woman he had just fondled.  
Hashiru leaned closer to him. "Yeah, she moves pretty fast. And she's persistent, too. She'll physically hunt you down if you don't call her the day after."  
Ranma blinked. "Huh? The day after what?"  
"HASHIRU!" Kanu yelled, ignoring Ranma's question in red-faced anger. "You ass! For your information, I wouldn't HAVE to hunt men down if it weren't for lecherous, chauvinistic playboys like you!"  
"Mm. You didn't have any complaints about this time two month ago," the brawler said pleasantly, smiling at the irate girl.  
Ranma sweatdropped as the banter continued unabated, with Kanu yelling in frustration, and Hashiru offering calm, and rather smug retorts to further embarrass his subordinate.  
"Uh... look. I'm not really 'new'." Ranma said, interrupting Kanu before she could start another tirade. "I mean, I'm not with the gang. Hashiru just invited me."  
"AND he happens to be a high school kid," the gang boss said, grinning as he leaned into Kanu's face. "So he's kind of... how shall I say... 'under' your league?"  
"Oh, shut up!" The college girl said, stomping away with a full angry flush on her face.  
Ranma shook his head as Hashiru laughed. "Well, you don't exactly play the nice guy, do you?"  
The gang boss shrugged, still grinning. "Eh, it's all fun n' games. She knows that." Then he leaned closer and put his arm around Ranma's back. "Although really, feel free to take a shot at her if you want. She really is a nice girl, and fun in the sack, too. Real creative, you know?"  
"No, I don't know," Ranma said flatly. "You got anything to do around here that doesn't involve flirting?"  
Hashiru's response was cut off as Tomas' voice rang out in the background, and Ranma turned around as his name was called.  
"Ranma! Ranma, there you are!" The American finally reached his friend next to the buffet table, and Hashiru blinked as he saw the boy carrying a full keg of beer.  
"What's up Tomas?" Ranma asked, quite curious himself.  
"I thought we could inject a little American culture into the party." Tomas lifted up a plastic shopping bag. "I found some stuff lying around. Follow me!"  
Ranma and Hashiru turned to look at each other. Then they both shrugged, and followed the American upstairs.

"Come on, little boy, gimme all you got!" Min grinned as the gang fighter on the other end of the ring yelled and charged, swinging the chain in his hand around his head.  
"_Kachou sen_!" Snapping off a warfan from who-knows-where into the air, the Ninja girl grinned as her opponent took the bait exactly as she thought he would, leaping over the projectile at a low angle that aimed him straight at her.  
To the gang fighter's surprise, rather than going on the defensive, Min jumped up to meet him in mid-air, striking long before he had finished the required wind-up for his chain.  
"Ha! Over in one shot!" Min shouted gleefully, slamming a fist into the college boys chest, before grabbing his shoulder and leg and flipping herself on top of him.  
Crack! The crowd that gathered was split between howling cheers and sympathetic winces as the Ninja came down onto the floor hard, with her opponent as her landing pad.  
Min giggled as she straddled the street fighter. "Mmm! Nice abs!" Then her eyes narrowed, and she smiled seductively. "So, you good for another round? Or are you... tired?"  
The young man swallowed deeply as he stared into her eyes (which were barely visible past her breasts, from his unique perspective), physically torn between agonizing pain and sexual arousal. "Uh... I g-give up..."  
Min smirked and got up off of him, tossing her hair over her shoulder. "Sigh Boys today... no endurance at all. What a shame."  
The street fighter sweatdropped and quickly scurried away, quite humiliated and more than a little confused by the conflict.  
"Come on! Who's next! Sai fighter? Step right up!"

Only meters away, encircled by a different crowd, Shampoo gave her opponent a punishing uppercut after ducking his attack, sending the much larger fighter sailing into the air, and eventually landing outside of the ring.  
Letting out a deep breath, the Amazon grinned and rubbed her shoulder, where the brawler had landed his only good hit. She had to give these kids credit; she'd fought warriors in the fighting tournament who weren't nearly so focused or able.  
"Ha! I like a girl who knows how to swing!" Another boy, this one a smaller, nimble-looking boy with a red bandanna around his head, jumped into the ring, licking his lips. "Whattya say, hot stuff? Make a little war, make a little love?"  
Shampoo snorted and moved into her combat stance. "Men in Japan good fighter. But some is too, too stupid."  
"That hurts, babe," the street fighter said, smirking. Then he shot forward like a bullet. "But not as much as this will!"  
Shampoo blocked the initial charge with her arm, then pushed back and twisted into a leg sweep, knocking her foe into a roll.  
The boy stumbled back on his feet, and ducked just as a roundhouse sailed over his head. He wasted no time in taking advantage of the opening, and threw his entire body into a punch that struck Shampoo solidly in the stomach. After landing the hit, he pressed his advantage, throwing his momentum and weight into a shoulder charge.  
As usual, Shampoo's strength and endurance came as a complete surprise to her opponent, and the boy goggled as she failed to fall down, and in fact picked him up and lifted him into the air.  
Smash!  
Shampoo dusted off her hands as she stood over the insensate street thug, surrounded by cheers and whistles from the ring of spectators. She had to physically restrain herself from massaging her stomach where she had been hit, refusing to show any sign of weakness to her new fans. Who would've known the boy could recover from a sweep so quickly?  
"Ni-ice! You're the first one to ever down Himachi in one shot!" A girl with mussy short hair suddenly appeared next to the Amazon, surprising her very nearly to the point of a violent response.  
"Ah?" Shampoo blinked and tried to calm herself. "What you talking?"  
"Ah, new at Japanese, huh?" The girl grinned. "Hey, can you tell me more about your style? That was really cool!"  
"Um... Shampoo-"  
"Shampoo? I think there's some in the bathroom. But I can show you that later! Let's go get some air! It's really stuffy in here, don't you think? It's better outside! Close your jaw and come on! Hurry, hurry!"  
The group of spectators sweatdropped as they watched the Chinese girl get dragged away upstairs, stuttering half-witted questions about what was happening as she went.  
"Ah. Idol worship claims another victim."  
"Such a shame. She was hot, too."  
"Oh well. Moving on!"  
The gang members and college students turned around, and immediately began cheering for Min's battle.

Shampoo ran a hand through her hair as she stood on the roof of the amphitheatre, enjoying the cool breeze as it cooled the sweat on her forehead, as well as the stinging bruises on her shoulder and abdomen.  
She tried to ignore the slightly warmer breeze coming from behind her, from her new fan's mouth, but without much success.  
"It was totally awesome! I've never seen a girl fight like you! Do you think that girl fighters are just as strong, like, on average, as guy fighters? 'Cause I don't know! I always thought the guys were better! But maybe not, huh?"  
Shampoo twitched at the unceasing chatter behind her, and entertained a brief fantasy of Ranma galloping up the stairs on a white horse and carrying a roll of duct tape to save her.  
"So are you Chinese, or Korean? I mean, you look Chinese, but they're not usually as tall as you are! I mean, you have a really great figure for a Chinese person! If you're Chinese! I mean, if you're Korean, well, actually, you'd still have a really great figure, but it wouldn't be as unusual, you know? Do they do a lot of martial arts in Korea? Besides that Tae Kwon Do thing? I mean, I think it's cool, but I prefer punching to kicking, and..."  
Shampoo's face fell, and a sweatdrop rolled down her head. 'By every God and Goddess I've ever heard of... doesn't she EVER stop talking! Argh! I could be fighting another match right now! Or spending time with Ranma!'  
"But I was all like: 'Karate? Everybody and their little sister knows Karate! I could at least learn something a bit UNIQUE, you know?' And of course he's all, 'Karate is fine. You're not dedicated enough to master something that's much more advanced than that,' and then I'm all like, 'So I'm just not good enough?' and then he totally got all flustered and started saying stuff about how I don't spend enough time on it and how it's not a matter of my being good, so then I'm totally like, 'I can do Judo with your help, righ! I don't have to master it completely, you know?' But he just didn't get it! Don't you think boys are really dense sometimes? Like, they just can't communicate on our level!"  
'I don't think ANYONE can communicate on your level,' Shampoo thought, gritting her teeth. 'Damn! What am I wasting my time up here for! I'd rather deal with ANYTHING else right now than this hyperactive, nattering little girl!'  
"AAAAAIIIIEEEE!" Wsh! Wsh!  
Shampoo turned around at the girl's scream, reflexively moving into a defensive stance.  
She blinked when she saw that her newest tormentor was wrapped in chains, and her eyes widened as she watched a tall figure in white robes jump down from the roof access protrusion.

Mousse smiled gently as he looked upon his Amazon goddess. The woman he had grown up loving, grown up worshipping as the most precious and worthy wife he could have began to tremble, and her wide, beautiful eyes glistened with unshed tears, obviously moments away from a flood of pure emotion.  
The Chinese boy almost swooned as he saw his love fall to her knees and raise her face to the sky, tears leaking down her cheeks. So overcome with joy!  
"SHAMPOO NOT **MEAN** IT!"  
Mousse jerked to a stop, and a sweatdrop rolled down his head. "H-Huh?"  
Shampoo sighed miserably, and then slowly got back up to her feet.  
"Shampoo! It's me! I've come to-"  
"Shut up, outsider scum!" Shampoo said in Chinese, interrupting Mousse. "How dare you show your face to me again! I should kill you where you stand!"  
Mousse seemed taken aback, but his expression hardened, and he stood tall. "Shampoo, I know you've been subjected to cruel lies and false rumors of what I've done-"  
"You were exiled from the village and then broke out of the prison before you could be punished further!"  
"Exactly!" Mousse shouted, pointing at her, "I... uh... oh. Yeah, okay, I did that. But-"  
"Hey, excuse me?" The girl on the ground said, still wrapped up. "But could you talk in Japanese, please?" Seeing the two Amazons staring at her incredulously, she of course felt obligated to explain further. "Well, I mean, I did get tied up for this, and if I'm going to be put through the trouble of having to sit and listen to a long confrontation, I want to be able to understand it, you know? I mean, is that Chinese, or what? It doesn't sound like Korean. But you know, I was just saying, that if she's Chinese then she's really stacked for a-HEY, WHAT'RE YOU DO-OW! HEY! STOP! OW!" The girl began kicking and wriggling wildly as Mousse picked her up and dragged her over to the roof entryway, before haphazardly throwing her down the stairs that led to the top floor of the amphitheatre.  
Shampoo frowned as Mousse walked back to her. "I'll do you a favor; in return for what you just did, I'll let you leave here alive, and without hindrance."  
Mousse sweatdropped. "Riiiight. Shampoo, listen-"  
"You'll get no sympathy from me!" The Amazon said sharply, crossing her arms over her chest. "Your mistakes and decisions were your own! THEY'RE what led you to your current fate! An outcast-no-a **fugitive** from your home tribe! I will make no appeal on your behalf! And if I ever see you again, I won't hesitate to drag you back to China to face the rest of your trial!"  
Mousse looked at his love sadly, the moonlight reflecting off his glasses. "Ah, Shampoo... I'm afraid I'm a step ahead of you this time. You see, I didn't come to you for help."  
Shampoo blinked, and then she let a bit of a smile cross her lips.  
"Nor did I come to say goodbye."  
The smile died instantly. "Stop playing with me! Tell me what you want, fool!"  
"Technically, I came here to get revenge upon the one who dishonored me. But now that I've found you, I can complete my greater mission. The mission I came to Japan for." Mousse chuckled darkly, then turned and pointed at the purple-haired warrior. "I came here for YOU, my love! To at last take you for my wife!"  
There was a moment of silence as Shampoo stared at Mousse in disbelief, and Mousse continued pointing at Shampoo dramatically. In the background, the crickets took the opportunity to play a short ballad of their own to contrast the heavy J-Pop coming from the amphitheatre the two Amazons were standing on.  
Finally, Shampoo turned away and massaged her head. "Is Mousse crazy, or just stupid?" she said, switching back to Japanese as she planned to head back to the party. "Shampoo no have time for this. Mousse go away now, and not come back."  
Mousse immediately jumped in front of Shampoo, blocking her progress with his body. "Oh, but you don't understand! My exile may be intended as a punishment, but in fact it's the most wonderful blessing they could have bestowed upon me!"  
"Shampoo lean toward crazy, though not rule out stupid yet," she said, nonplussed by Mousse's determination.  
"Crazy? Hardly!" Mousse lowered his face, and smirked. "Shampoo, surely YOU are aware of the laws regarding combat with outsiders!"  
Shampoo blinked, then frowned.  
"Surely you know what an Amazon warrior female must do, by law, if defeated by an outsider male!" Mousse's smirk grew as Shampoo stepped back in shock. "Don't you see! Finally I've found a way for us to be together! Now that I've been exiled, I can take you as a wife through our laws! It wouldn't have been possible if I were still an Amazon!"  
Shampoo stepped back, quite shocked at Mousse's statement, and not a little bit disturbed. "Mousse... you exile from village. You no see family, friend, or ally again, ever. Still... all you want is be with Shampoo?"  
"YES!" Mousse shouted, moving closer with his arms outstretched. "Don't you see! I'd give up anything for you!"  
The Amazon girl then turned around, and waved a hand at Mousse dismissively. "Shampoo decide. Mousse definitely crazy."  
Whump! Mousse twitched after falling face-first onto the roof, but quickly stood up again. "I'm not crazy! I WILL take you as my wife! I swear it!"  
Shampoo just rolled her eyes. "Shampoo take back then; Mousse stupid, too. You need beat Shampoo first! Mousse never do that!"  
The Chinese boy nodded somberly, and turned into a ready stance. "Shampoo, I do this for our future happiness! You must know that only the thought of marrying you, of being with you for the rest of my life, is the ONLY thing that could ever move me to lift a finger in harming yo-" Thwack! Pow! Crunch! Smash!  
Shampoo swung her persistent suitor over her shoulder by his leg, slamming him solidly into the concrete of the roof, and leaving a tangible impression of the fool's body behind as she pulled him up again and tossed him away.  
"UWWAAAAAAAAAH!" SMASH! "UGH!" Mousse skidded along the thick tin plates of the roof of the factory adjacent to the amphitheatre, and his abused body left a long, malformed dent from his point of impact due to the force behind Shampoo's throw.  
A much lighter sound alerted him of Shampoo's landing on their new battlefield, and the dazed Amazon raised his head to the unpleasant vision of many indistinguishable dark blurs all around him (apparently his glasses had fallen off at some point during the beating).  
"Sh-Shampoo! No fair! You attacked in the middle of my monologue!" The myopic teenager complained, staggering to his feet.  
Shampoo snorted and walked up to her tormentor, not even bothering to resort to combat movements. "That why Mousse failure as Amazon even though strong fighter; Mousse stupid. Fight start when first attack, not when Mousse stop talking. If want defeat better warrior, must use head **and** muscle. Stupid!" She punctuated the last word by backhanding the still-dazed Amazon boy across the face, causing Mousse to twist around from the impact and fall once again.  
"Sh... Shampoo... but..."  
"You insult Shampoo!" The purple-haired warrior said sharply, trying hard to project an air of superiority rather than simple rage. "You dare try take Shampoo by force, but fight like Shampoo still child trainee! Better men killed for less stupid things!"  
Seeing the half-blind fighter stumbling once again as he tried to stand, Shampoo walked up and grabbed Mousse from behind, hooking her arm around his throat and holding him tightly, and keeping her arm locked just a single movement away from breaking her former tribesman's neck.  
"Mousse very lucky; Shampoo in good mood tonight, and is with friends. Mousse death would spoil mood, so Shampoo let Mousse live IF Mousse leave and swear never come back."  
Mousse struggled to stay conscious as he felt darkness try to overtake his consciousness; the recent accumulation of damage to his head, combined with his current shortage of oxygen was starting to seriously take its toll on his body. "Shampoo... I... I'm... sorry..." he managed to gasp out, still struggling dizzily as wisps of shadow threatened to consume his vision.  
The Amazon girl frowned, then shrugged and let Mousse go, shoving him away. "Whatever. Apology do for now. Not have time to waste on Mousse, anyway." She turned away and was about to hop back to the adjacent roof when Mousse's weary voice stopped her.  
"As usual... you don't... understand..." Mousse mumbled, pulling back the sleeve over his right arm.  
Shampoo frowned as she saw that he held what looked like an ordinary canteen, and moved back in preparation to dodge. He knew of her curse; maybe he was going to attempt to change her and then beat her when she was a cat?  
She grew even more confused when Mousse lifted the canteen above his own head.  
"I'm sorry... I have to do this..." Splash!  
"M-Mousse? Ah! Wh-What... AAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Ranma cracked an eye open, and winced as his vision was blinded by light pouring in from his open window.  
As his brain started to kick into gear and take in his surroundings, Ranma began his normal morning routine, with only an idle thought as to why his head hurt so badly. He had woken up in worse shape before, after all. Although those times had been out in the wilderness during training. And he usually knew precisely why he was in pain.  
Ignoring that issue for now, he pulled out a spare set of clothes from his dresser and left his room, idly undoing his pigtail as he opened his door and stepped into the hallway.  
Thump! "Grk!" Ranma stumbled and barely managed to catch himself as his foot hit a soft, heavy object lying right in front of his door out in the main hallway.  
Managing to right himself by hanging onto the doorframe, Ranma frowned as he discovered that it was Tomas who was lying in front of his doorway, wrapped in one of the spare blankets.  
The American flinched at being struck, then groaned and turned over, apparently not actually waking.  
"Mmmmm... but Dad, I dun wanna fight Rock again..." Tomas mumbled in English, still asleep.  
Ranma rubbed his throbbing head as he tried to think of a reason that Tomas might be sleeping in his house.  
Not coming up with anything, the pigtailed boy filed it in the back of his mind and stepped over his sleeping friend, making his way to the bathroom.  
After securing the door to the changing room, he placed his fresh clothes on the laundry hamper and removed his old ones, frowning as he realized he had gotten in bed with all but his jacket on.  
Once again filing the oddity for investigation later, Ranma found a towel and secured it around his waist.  
Shoof "Oh! Sorry!"  
Ranma whirled around at the voice, and his eyes nearly popped out of his head as a blushing Min stepped into the changing room, holding a towel tightly around her torso.  
"Gack! Wh... Wha..." Ranma stood in place gaping, and making sure to hold his own towel tightly in place. "M-MIN! What are you doing here!"  
The Ninja girl blushed deeper as she realized that Ranma wasn't going to simply move on into the bathroom, and tried to pull her towel further up over her breasts. She may have had a crush on the boy, but that didn't mean she wanted to flash him... yet. "You mean you don't remember?"  
Ranma's head whipped back and forth rapidly.  
Min scratched her chin with her free hand. "Well... I don't really know. You did seem pretty out of it when I finally found you guys. But by the time we all got to your house, we were all a bit tired... and a little tipsy... so, well, we figured 'why not stay the night'?"  
Ranma twitched, and then sighed. "I'll never drink again as long as I live."  
The Ninja girl smirked. "They all say that the first time."  
"Whatever..." Ranma muttered, walking toward the bathroom and opening the door.  
He was about to step out of the changing room, but stopped in hesitation.  
"Uh... I know this might sound... odd... but, did anything, you know, WEIRD happen last night?"  
Min raised an eyebrow. "Hmmm... well, aside from Shampoo never coming back and the tied-up construction worker..." She glanced at Ranma, and her thoughtful expression curled into a smile as she saw the blush on the young man's face. "Wait... define 'weird'."  
Ranma recognized the girl's playful look, and groaned mentally. "I'd rather not."  
The Ninja girl grinned and turned toward Ranma, posing slightly as the towel stretched tightly over the contours of her body. "It's not too late for something to happen... a boy, a girl, a small, private room, and only two little scraps of cloth between them..."  
Slam! Min pouted as Ranma quickly evacuated the area.  
Then she grinned as she found her own clothes and started to get dressed. She had found Ranma's reluctance and nervousness annoying at first, but she had to admit that she was having a lot more fun flirting with him as he was now than if he turned into a drooling lecher every time she flashed some cleavage.  
'Hmm... I guess it runs in the family,' she mused, remembering her mother's stories about her "courtship" of Andy Bogard.

Ranma sighed wearily as he got dressed in the changing room, collecting his thoughts.  
During his bath his head had cleared a great deal, and he was now able to piece together what he had spent much of the previous night doing, as well as how he had come to consume alcohol in the first place.  
He still had no idea what the later sequence of events that led to him getting home were, or why he couldn't walk around his house without stumbling into people who didn't live there, but he figured it was still early in the day.  
Besides, he always thought better on a full stomach.

"Hi Pop," Ranma mumbled sleepily as he spotted Iori at the head of the table, silently reading the newspaper as was the norm.  
"Hi Mom," he greeted Nodoka, who smiled and greeted him back as she sat at the table, sipping tea.  
"Morning, sis," he said to Yurumi, who was also drinking tea, and looked more perturbed than anyone else by all the new people populating the house that morning.  
"Good morning Hashiru," he greeted the gang leader, who greeted him back cheerfully as he ate his toast.  
Ranma sat down next to the Yamazaki heir, frowned momentarily as he saw through the open patio door that there was a steam shovel parked in the backyard, and then began to serve himself from the pile of toast in the center of the table. As he was doing so, Min emerged from the kitchen, fully clothed this time, and carrying a bowl of cereal.  
Once the entire family and two of their guests were seated, Iori suddenly spoke up, startling everyone.  
"By the way. A manager from the construction company called this morning." The redhead didn't look up from his paper, nor did his tone of voice change to hint at any emotions or thoughts behind the words. "He said that he'd pay the demanded ransom, but only if you return the machine along with the worker."  
Everyone else at the table turned and stared at Iori. Then, after a few moments, the females at the table turned to stare at Ranma and Hashiru.  
Ranma sweatdropped, then put down his food and turned toward Hashiru, his expression utterly serious. "That reminds me. Can you remember what happened last night?"  
"Bits and pieces," Hashiru said with equal seriousness, planting his hands on his legs as he squatted in front of the table. "For example, I remember deciding that I was too wasted to drive anywhere when we went out. And..." he frowned. "I think I'm recalling a movie or something, though. Or maybe a story? All I'm getting is this image of you turning into a chick. Maybe it was a hallucination?"  
"No, I can do that," Ranma corrected him. "Magic curse. Jusenkyou. Water. Ring any bells?"  
The gang leader stared at him for a moment, then shook his head. "You're weird, man." Then he scooted backward, and leaned over so that he could look under the dining room table. "How about you? Do you remember what happened?"  
"Mmph! Hmph hhhm!" The bound and gagged construction foreman wriggled helplessly against his tight wire bonds as twin streams of tears poured down his cheeks.  
Hashiru sat back up. "I guess not. Can I have some tea, please?"  
"Certainly!" Nodoka said pleasantly, handing the college student a cup.  
"We really are sorry for imposing like this," Min said, more conscious than Hashiru of their current situation, and the impact it must have on their hosts.  
"Oh, not at all!" Nodoka said with genuine satisfaction. "My children's friends are always welcome here! Especially pretty girls!"  
Hashiru and Min sweatdropped heavily at the statement, not having expected that from the female head of the household.  
Ranma swallowed the last of his breakfast, then got up and stretched. "Well, I guess I should get in a little bit of practice. Try and clear my head a bit more, you know?"  
"Good idea," Hashiru mumbled. "Maybe later I'll... huh?" He trailed off as he noticed something out in the yard, and the gang boss frowned and stood up. "Excuse me. My Ninja is here for some reason."

Dismissing his unexpected guests for the moment, Ranma headed outside and around the back of the house, toward the small practice area that served as the house dojo.  
As he neared the door, he became less concerned with the happenings of the previous night. Needless to say, everybody had made it back from the party in one piece, and his parents didn't seem upset over whatever irresponsible misdeeds had taken place.  
Satisfied that he'd simply avoid the booze at future social events, Ranma opened the door to the practice area.  
"Joshin?"  
The fighter elitist raised his head from where he was sprawled out on the dojo floor, revealing droopy, bloodshot eyes. "Ah. Yagami. Good morning." Then he let his head fall right back down, hitting the floor sharply enough for Ranma to wince from the noise of the impact.  
"Have you been here all night?" The pigtailed boy asked, scratching his head. It was rather hard to imagine, as the dojo floor was cold and hard, and this particular section of the house didn't receive any heat at night to keep the temperature tolerable.  
"As a matter of fact, I have," Joshin mumbled, not raising his head this time. "Ordinarily I could not accept such sleeping conditions, but alas, the eighth martini didn't give me much room to be meticulous about it."  
Ranma frowned. "Do all of Hashiru's parties end up like this?"  
"On the contrary," Joshin mumbled, holding his forehead in some feeble hope that it would ease the throbbing, "many of his social gatherings are planned with the sole intention of gathering fighters to battle each other in matches. Alcohol is quite scarce then. Other events are related to the school or of a... higher class, and conservative attitudes usually prevail in keeping drunken hijinks to a minimum."  
"Ah. Okay." Ranma didn't really have a problem with that, and in fact the battle party thing sounded pretty cool. But he didn't want to keep going to Hashiru's parties if he could expect last night's results every time. "By the way, were you sober enough last night to remember what we did?"  
"Yes, actually," Joshin said, actually raising his head again. "And I have two things to say to you regarding that. One, I cannot **believe** that you were that girl who beat me at St. Hebereke, and two, you're VERY lucky that Nerima has no dedicated police force." Thud! Dropping his head back onto the floor, Joshin's eyes closed as he let consciousness slip away, either oblivious or indifferent to Ranma's questioning expression.  
Ranma was about to move the rich boy aside and began his practice when he sensed movement behind him, and turned to see Hashiru standing in the doorway.  
"Ranma..." the gang boss said, looking unusually somber, "I think you should come hear this."

Flashback...

Raven thanked the store manager as he brought the cases of imported liquor and traditional sake out to his motorcycle, which was crookedly parked alongside the curb in front of the gas station the convenience mart was attached to.  
After securing the boxes on the back of his motorcycle, the Ninja prepared to mount the vehicle when he caught a large silhouette out of the corner of his eye.  
"Hm?" Turning around, Raven frowned as he heard the sound of heavy footsteps on roof tile and concrete in the distance, and tracked what small signs of movement that he could make out in the poorly-lit street in his half-drunken state.  
Eventually though, he saw a dark shape jump across the street, from one row of buildings to the other.  
Raven's eyes widened as the form was perfectly silhouetted against the moon for a split second, revealing a massive two-legged shape jumping through the air with some kind of long, fluttering protrusion following behind it.  
Raven squeezed his eyes shut and massaged his head, hoping that the alcohol he had consumed was simply taking a greater toll on his senses than he had expected.  
The quite audible sound of breaking concrete as the creature landed on the roof of an apartment building dispelled any thoughts of illusion.  
Hearing the footfalls grow more distant, the Ninja wracked his foggy brain for a decision on what to do.  
'Should I follow that thing? It isn't really any of my concern... wait... big monster parading through the city... okay, yes, that would technically be my concern... what was that thing hanging off of it? Hair? A scarf?'  
Raven shook his head to clear it, and then turned his motorcycle down the road. He knew what he had to do.

About ten minutes later, it finally occurred to the shadow warrior that riding a motorcycle to keep up with a target jumping across rooftops was a very poor way to perform an investigation if one didn't wish to alert said target that it was being followed.  
As Raven turned the corner down and alley and bumped his vehicle up to clear a short fence, he reflected on the problem further; he was only able to track his target now by its large silhouette against the moonlight as it jumped across town. And while the fairly standard height of the local buildings on the edge of Nerima simplified this task, the roar of his motorcycle engine kept him from tracking his target from its footfalls.  
His inebriated mind could find no apparent solution, however, and soon the Ninja found his thoughts distracted as the suburbs suddenly ended and gave way to forestland that branched out from Nerima's outskirts.  
Raven frowned, rather surprised that the creature he was following had gone so far. If this was some sort of wild beast, what had it been doing so far in the city?  
Regardless, he slowed his pace as he turned onto the forest road he thought best matched his target's path of travel, and kept his focus on the forest area illuminated by the edge of his headlight beam.  
He had been traveling in such a manner for merely a few seconds before he was rewarded with results, in the form of a long mane of purple hair attached to a voluptuous body he quickly recognized.  
"The Amazon? Here? What is this?" Letting his engine idle rather than turning it off, Raven pulled over next to the brush and leaned over the unconscious body, feeling the neck for a pulse.  
"Well, she's alive," he mumbled to himself, "if in bad shape..." The Chinese girl looked to have suffered a powerful blow to the head, and had three shallow, if wide, parallel gashes on her midriff. A thin trail of blood leaked from her mouth, and her breathing, though steady, was labored.  
The Ninja got up and scratched his head. "Okay... her hair was probably the object I saw trailing the figure in the air... but where's the figure?"  
Thwomp!

"When I awoke, it was morning. Shampoo was gone, and my motorcycle had been torn in two," Raven said bitterly. "Judging from the remains, it was clenched on both ends, and then literally ripped in half. Most likely to slow down any attempt to follow or return and tell people."  
"However, whatever it was that attacked you decided not to finish you off after you were unconscious, so it must not be that worried about you coming back and tracking it down." Hashiru said thoughtfully.  
"Well it should be," the Ninja said, crossing his arms over his chest, "it left a huge trail to follow through the woods. It shouldn't take long to hunt it down, assuming it doesn't have the stamina to keep moving all night and all day."  
As Ranma quietly digested the story, Min turned toward Raven. "Okay... first things first... What kind of a Ninja tails somebody on a motorcycle, talks to himself during a pursuit, and leaves his back unguarded at night in an area with that much cover?"  
Raven twitched slightly at each clause in the question, and Hashiru could almost see three metaphorical arrows strike his long-time friend in the chest.  
"I... I was drunk, all right?" the Ninja murmured, looking appropriately ashamed.  
"That's not all," Hashiru said, heading off any further criticism of the Ninja, "I called Tanaka after I heard the story. Apparently Yahiko took Shampoo aside during the party and led her up to the roof. She saw a guy attack her, and he apparently tied Yahiko up and tossed her down the stairs. That's the last anyone saw of Shampoo last night."  
Ranma frowned. "So why didn't anybody hear about this until now? Nobody noticed a tied-up girl at the bottom of the stairs?"  
"Oh, no, they did. But nobody untied her or listened to her until the party was already over."  
Seeing Ranma's incredulous stare, Hashiru felt the need to elaborate.  
"You have to understand; Yahiko always ends up bound and gagged by the end of the party."  
Raven nodded. "Most consider it a public service. Last time I did it, I earned 3,000 yen in tips."  
"Gotcha," Ranma mumbled, lapsing back into his thoughtful state. "So who was the guy?"  
"That's the interesting part," Hashiru said, "the description was a tall, thin, Chinese guy with long black hair, wearing thick glasses and long white robe with a diamond pattern."  
Ranma's frown deepened as the description tugged at his memory.  
Hashiru continued. "The same guy who confronted me back when we were still planning the thing."  
"Huh?" Ranma asked, suddenly at attention.  
"He walked right up to me and tried to pull me up by my shirt," the gang boss said, shaking his head sadly. "Failing that, he started demanding that I tell him what I'd heard about Shampoo."  
Ranma's eyes bugged out. "And you TOLD him!"  
"No, of course not," Hashiru said sharply, frowning. "Nor did I mention that I knew who she was. But for some reason, he backed down and left without pressing the issue. I have no idea how he guessed Shampoo would be at the party."  
Seeing Ranma fall back to his thoughtful expression, Hashiru continued. "Maybe you know him? He said he was an Amazon."  
Ranma froze up immediately. "Amazon. Looking for Shampoo. Long hair, glasses, robes..." The pigtailed fighter twitched.  
"Uhm... I take it you recognize him now?" Hashiru asked a bit nervously, backing away along with everyone else as the area around Ranma suddenly became unbearably warm.  
Said teenager gripped his hands fists and growled through clenched teeth as his aura of dark flame flowed around his body. "Mousse..."  
"So our antogonist has a name, now," Raven muttered, "if not an odd one. Must be a tribal thing." Then he frowned under the mask stretched over his mouth and nose. "Of course, that still leaves us with a significant intelligence gap: why is it that Shampoo was confronted by an Amazon, but captured by some other large creature, leaving no trace of the man? While I don't know what I was trailing last night, it definitely wasn't human."  
"Doesn't matter," Ranma said sharply, not dropping his aura. "If Mousse is involved, then Shampoo's in trouble. And we have unfinished business, besides. Any monster that happens to get in the middle of it is toast, **period**."  
He was about to continue, when Min interrupted him.  
"By the way... I was down in the fighting ring when Shampoo left for the roof, but where exactly were you guys when all this was happening?" She raised an eyebrow as Ranma's aura immediately winked out, and Hashiru looked away while rubbing the back of his neck in a nervous gesture.  
"Well? ... Don't tell me you out flirting with chicks or something," the Ninja said, crossing her arms under her breasts.  
"Huh... er..." Ranma sweatdropped.

Flashback...

Ranma and Hashiru sat down cross-legged as Tomas started rifling through the shopping bag he brought.  
"Tabasco sauce," the American said, setting a bottle of the aforementioned substance on the floor.  
"Chili sauce," he said, putting another bottle down next to the first.  
"Fish sauce. Rice vinegar. Castor oil. Soy sauce." Then he pulled a bucket out from behind him. "Old, dirty mop water."  
Then the street fighter cleared his throat, and beckoned to the items laid out in front of him.  
"Here in Japan, it's common for someone to take this stuff and chug it down on some crazy, televised game show in return for fabulous prizes and cash rewards."  
Then he planted his hands on his hips, standing proudly. "In **America**, it's a common tradition at parties for people to do it for free on a dare, in celebration of drinking way too much alcohol!"  
Ranma and Hashiru looked at the containers of strong/disgusting liquids, and then looked to the side at the large keg of beer that Tomas had lugged up the stairs with him.  
Then they looked at each other, and nodded.  
Grabbing a glass which was already mostly full, Hashiru held it in the air triumphantly. "Then let us bridge the gap between our two cultures!"  
Ranma did the same a moment later, pumping his free hand into the air. "BANZAI!"

"Um... yeah. Flirting. That's it," Ranma said, his voice cracking only slightly.  
Hashiru sweatdropped and chuckled nervously. "Heh heh... you caught us..."  
"Regardless, we should make haste at once," Raven said. "There's no telling what the creature who took Shampoo intends to do with her."  
"Wrong," Ranma said, cutting off any further comment from anyone else. "'We' are not going. **I** am."  
Min and Hashiru blinked in surprise, and the gang boss shook his head. "Yagami, look, I know you like to play hero, but-"  
"This 'aint about 'playing hero'," Ranma said sharply, his eyes narrowed. "Like I said, I've got business with Mousse. PERSONAL business. And if finding Shampoo might lead me to him, then I'll save her alone."  
Min fought the urge to protest as she saw the fevered determination in Ranma's eyes, and unconsciously shrunk back. 'Is there something about this Mousse person that he doesn't want us to know about? Shampoo did say that Mousse was involved in an incident that she wasn't allowed to mention.' If that was the case, then she really didn't have any business pressing the issue, but whatever it was would still likely involve Shampoo. And the thought that the Amazon girl shared a part of Ranma's troubles that she wasn't even allowed to know about made her uneasy.  
Hashiru stared at Ranma, then shook his head, smiling ruefully. "You're a real piece o' work, Yagami." Then the older boy clapped Ranma on the shoulder with his free hand. "All right. Go alone. Just make sure you give him an extra kick for me, huh? Never got back at the dweeb for ripping my shirt."  
"I'll give him more than an 'extra kick'," Ranma growled, following Raven as the Ninja wordlessly led him to the street adjacent to the Yagami household. "I'll give him MUCH more..."

Shampoo stared at the ground dispassionately as Mousse worked at the well, lowering the bucket down into the pit far below.  
She was dirty, a bit bloody, and her head still throbbed, but Shampoo made no move to treat her wounds, and she had refused to let Mousse treat them when he had tried earlier. Her clothes, which were less than a week old, now sported numerous rips, tears, and stains. Her hair, usually kept in a clean, illustrious bundle was tangled, dirty, and had leaves and twigs caught in it.  
Yet still, she refused to let tears cloud her eyes. Despair filled her heart, her entire body ached, chains restricting her arms and legs dug uncomfortably into her flesh, and she greatly feared what laid in store for her. But she would not allow herself to cry, even as the idea of using her tears to grab hold of Mousse's sympathy dangled over her head temptingly.  
'Amazon warriors do NOT cry in defeat!' she told herself firmly, not moving as Mousse approached her with fresh water. 'Tears are for friends, family, and lovers. But NEVER for enemies!' As she gazed up at her captor through hate-filled eyes, it was perfectly clear where the Chinese boy fit on that roster.  
"Here. Drink all you like." Mousse said hesitantly in his native language, placing the bucket on the tree stump sitting next to Shampoo.  
As he watched her camly lean over and drink directly out of the bucket, Mousse couldn't help but be disturbed by her attitude toward what had happened. He had expected suppressed joy, reluctant acceptance, fierce resistance, or heartbreaking despair. But Shampoo had not uttered a single word or shed a single tear since she had regained consciousness, nor had she struggled. She simply remained... defiant. She hadn't even commented on his curse at all.  
"Shampoo, we should talk," Mousse said seriously, sitting down on the opposite edge of the stump where the bucket rested.  
Shampoo looked up at him, her eyes betraying nothing but her attention.  
"We should decide upon a place to stay from now on," Mousse said, trying to keep an assuring and confident tone in spite of how nervous she was making him. "Normally an Amazon who marries an outsider takes him back to the village, but it's not actually part of the law, nor is it an option for us."  
"Not an option for **you**," Shampoo said dully, uttering her first words since the battle last night.  
Mousse calmly shook his head. "We're married, Shampoo. That is the law. You know as well as I do-"  
"**YOU** know as well as **I** do that your victory was meaningless!" Shampoo snapped venomously, hiding her pleasure at seeing Mousse flinch. "You used your cursed form to surprise and overpower me! And you're a village outlaw! I merely have to get word of this to Great-Grandmother! The law will be null, and you will be executed!"  
Mousse shook his head, smiling slightly. "Come now, Shampoo. You know better than that. There are precious, PRECIOUS few examples of amnesty from village laws in the history of our tribe. And all of them for much more severe problems than the ones you just mentioned."  
Shampoo bit her tongue, and remained staring at him neutrally. Mousse was right; Amazonian laws were codes born and served as a matter of tradition more than function. And while the function was often contested, the laws held firm, and rules were upheld for the simple reason that they were laws, and had always BEEN upheld. None in the village wished to tangle with 5,000 years of Amazon tradition. Cologne might try on her behalf, but the other elders would be impossible to sway at best, and unclear as to why it was an issue at worst.  
"Shampoo, I realize this is hard for you," Mousse said condescendingly, as if speaking to a child who didn't understand why she couldn't go out and play in the rain, "but I swear to you, I will do whatever it takes to make you happy!"  
"Then let me go, and never let me see you again," the Amazon girl said immediately.  
"Except that." Mousse swallowed as Shampoo glared at him. "Shampoo, believe in me! Give me a chance! You will come to love me as I love you!"  
Shampoo grit her teeth and forced herself not to lash out, and barely holding on to her mask of cold distaste.  
Mousse kneeled in front of her, taking hold of her shoulders. "Give me a chance! Give me the Kiss of Marriage, as law requires! I swear I will do my very best as your husband!"  
The Amazon girl immediately turned her head away from him, a clear grimace of disgust on her pretty features.  
Mousse stopped and shook his head sadly, hurt but hardly surprised. "I suppose... I suppose that can wait..." He knew that Shampoo would put it off for as long as she could, but in the end she would follow the law as it dictated. A student and relative of the village matriarch could possibly do no less.  
The Chinese boy stood up, and stared at the horizon contemplatively. "Tell me, Shampoo... why did you come here?"  
Again, Shampoo was nearly startled out of her emotionless facade. "What is that supposed to mean?"  
"It is extremely rare for our people to even leave the mountain range which harbors our tribe," Mousse explained, and Shampoo felt her chest tighten as he spoke. "Less so for traders and merchants. But warriors? This is my first time out of China, as I'm sure it is yours. And you come here? Across the sea, all the way to Japan? Why? What does this place have to offer you that the village does not?"  
Shampoo grimaced and turned away. "That's none of your concern. For that matter, had I stayed in the village I would have remained safe from you, outcast. You should be overjoyed I came here."  
"Oh, I am," Mousse assured her, "but the curiosity is just KILLING me..." He looked her over suspiciously. "This place is disgusting, Shampoo. The people are weak, stupid, and entirely consumed with themselves. They are greedy, superficial, lecherous, and petty. While you were in danger, your friends spent their time below, drowning themselves in booze and-"  
"SHUT UP!" Shampoo finally snapped, her eyes glowing with rage finally let loose, "You have NO RIGHT to lecture anyone about being lecherous and petty! You have no right to call these people weak! You don't know them! You haven't lived with them! During the celebration last night I squashed drunken fools under my heel who were better men than you are! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT!"  
Mousse looked nonplussed by her tirade, and Shampoo quickly regretted losing her temper.  
"Hmph. Such an... earnest defense of this foreign filth. But I don't buy it. There's a reason you came here." His eyes narrowed. "And I believe it just arrived..."

Shampoo blinked, confused at Mousse's statement.  
And then she gasped as she looked in the direction he was facing, to see a very familiar figure on the edge of the clearing.  
"Ranma, you here!" She said in Japanese, torn between excitement that he came, concern for the outcome of this conflict, and shame for being seen under these conditions.  
Ranma nodded, facing away from the Amazons, with his hands in his pockets. "'Morning, Shamps. And hello to you too... Mousse."  
The male Amazon snorted. "I'm flattered you remember me. I always thought you'd be the type to completely ruin somebody's life and then forget all about it. Now come out and show yourself!"  
Ranma and Shampoo sweatdropped, and the former had to keep himself from facefaulting.  
"I AM showing myself, you twit," Ranma growled, still facing the trees.  
Mousse adjusted his glasses and leaned closer, and within moments he was able to recognize the white crescent moon emblem on the back of Ranma's jacket. "So, you've finally come. It's about time."  
Shnk! A sword slid out of Mousse's right sleeve, and he raised it and idly ran his thumb across the edge as he spoke. "Excuse my own memory... which one are you again? The father, or the half-man berserker?"  
Ranma twitched, and his teeth clenched as he turned around. "You're just digging yourself into a deeper hole, pal."  
The Chinese boy snorted, then hesitated. "Right... uh... look, I was serious about that last question. Which one are you?"  
"I'm Ranma! The one who you knocked into the spring, you ass!"  
Mousses nodded, smirking. "Well, so good of you to save me the trouble of tracking you down! YOU CAN GO AHEAD AND **DIE** NOW!"  
Mousse charged forward and stabbed with the sword, and Ranma slid to the side, avoiding the strike, and then ducking under the horizontal slash that followed from the other hand.  
"Gwah!" Mousse hit the ground as Ranma swept his feet out from under him, and then rolled away as Ranma blasted his fall zone with a small fireball.  
"Run, little man. Run." Ranma taunted, holding one hand in his pocket as he charged a fireball in his other hand before letting it fly.  
Mousse grunted as he jumped away, and then tossed his arms forward, producing several spears and shuriken that streaked toward his foe.  
Ranma's form blurred for a moment, and the projectiles passed through thin air.  
"Wha? Where?" The myopic Amazon began to look all around him, when he sensed a presence behind him, and quickly jumped forward into a full sprint, barely avoiding Ranma's fists as they came down from above holding a large purple sphere.  
"_Gouka rippuku_!" KA-KROOM! Waves of dirt burst into the air as spikes of violet flame ripped through the Earth, tossing Mousse away like paper trash.  
"Urgh!" The male Amazon rolled as he landed, and grimaced as he stood up. 'He's so fast! Too fast! How can this be?'  
"DIE, FOREIGN SCUM!" Mousse shouted, throwing one arm forward and shooting several chains tipped with spears and weights at his foe.  
Ranma frowned and ran forward into the barrage, surprising Mousse completely as he moved to the side at the last second and took hold of the chains.  
Yanking hard on the weapons, Ranma pulled Mousse right off his feet and into the air, before dashing forward and slamming the Amazon full-on in the stomach.  
Then he lifted Mousse into the air, fist still planted in the boy's abdomen, and his aura burst to life.  
Blam! The hand holding Mousse exploded violently in a blossom of purple fire, and the Amazon boy shouted in pain as he was engulfed.  
"GWAAAAH! I... I... WON'T... LOSE!" Mousse grit his teeth and shook the sleeve of his free arm (the other was still tangled in the chains) until a small sphere with a lit fuse fell out.  
Ranma's eyes widened as he saw a bomb drop down under him, and he quickly slammed Mousse into the ground before backflipping away, leaving the Amazon warrior lying next to his own explosive.  
Bwoom! The explosive detonated without much flair or fanfare, and Ranma gave a disgusted snort as he shoved his hands in his pockets.  
Shampoo gasped when Mousse began struggling to his feet. "Ranma! Is dangerous! Mousse! He-"  
"This guy's a joke," Ranma said distastefully. "If Ninja boy hadn't been drunk as hell last night, he could've taken care of this himself." He pointed toward Mousse. "I'm sick of beating on you! I'm going to give you a chance to apologize to Shampoo, apologize to me, and then make a break for it! This is your LAST AND ONLY chance!"  
Mousse grinned slowly as he wiped some of the soot from his face. "Me? Apologize to you? You, who got me banished from my home and declared rogue? I think NOT!"  
"Don't give me that!" Ranma yelled back. "I don't try and blame you for me goin' berserk and burning half your village, so don't go trying to pin your problems on me! YOU dropped ME into the damn spring!"  
"Ranma!" Shampoo shouted louder, noticing that Mousse was stepping closer to the other bucket near the well. "Mousse have curse too!"  
"Curse, smurse," the pigtailed boy said dismissively. What did he care if this jerk turned into a salamander or something? "Honestly, I don't know how the hell you managed to beat Shampoo! That geek Joshin can wield a chain way better than you!"  
Mousse smirked. "Would you like to find out?"  
As the Amazon took the bucket of water sitting on the ground next to him and upended it over his head, it occurred to Ranma that he hadn't seen hide nor hair of the strange, unexplained beast that Raven had attempted to trail last night. Putting that together with the idea that Mousse having a curse and activating it seemed to concern Shampoo...  
"Oops."

Ranma looked up at the hairy, ten-foot monstrosity in front of him, and took a few involuntarily steps back.  
It had a humanoid torso, but where human arms tapered off and formed hands, this creature possessed thick, bulging forearms that had a trio of long talons at the end that reminded Ranma of an anteater. Most of the monster was a reddish brown, but it had a tall mane of bright red fur that gathered around its head and flowed down its hunched back. The head reminded Ranma of a wolf or a badger, possessing an elongated snout and pointy, laid-back ears.  
The Yagami fighter gulped. "Okaaaay... not good. So don't leave me hanging, which one did you fall in? Spring of drowned Godzilla movie reject?"  
A deep chuckle emanated from within Mousse's throat, and he grinned, revealing many very sharp teeth.  
"THAT WOULD BE SPRING OF DROWNED BEHEMOTH, IN JAPANESE. NOT-QUITE TRAGIC STORY OF ANCIENT DEMON WHO WAS LURED INTO JUSENKYOU AND DROWNED BY MUSK WARRIORS SOME 5,000 YEARS AGO. IS **VERY** CURSED SPRING."  
Ranma jumped back, and his pigtail stuck out of his head, perfectly straight. "Y-You can t-talk like that!"  
The beast flexed its claws. "INDEED I CAN. BUT I CAN DO FAR MORE THAN THAT!"  
"Ranma!" Shampoo shouted desperately, "Run away! No can beat like this!"  
"Whoa!" Ranma jumped backwards as Mousse attacked him in an overhead swing, throwing up dirt as his talons dug into the ground. "Ha! I'm not beat yet! The bigger they are, an' all that!" He landed, and quickly threw his arm forward. "_Yami barai_!"  
Mousse snorted and stood up as the small wave of purple flame approached.  
Thrack! The wave detonated on impact, with streaks of fire cutting across Mousse's stubby legs and setting the hair ablaze.  
And, in just another moment, the flame withered and extinguished, as if its will to keep burning had simply ceased.  
'What? He didn't even flinch!' "You wanna play rough! _Double yami barai_!" Pushing both arms forward, Ranma shot a much larger wave of flame across the ground, and Mousse once again stood calmly in its path, forgoing any attempt to dodge.  
THRACK! The same effect happened once again, with the flames blooming out across Mousse's entire body this time, and immediately winking out, as if being absorbed or snuffed out by the fur.  
"BOOOORING," Mousse's deep, throaty baritone echoed through the clearing. "SHOULDN'T HAVE COME HERE ALONE, LITTLE HALF-MAN! WERE YOUR FRIENDS HERE, I'D AT LEAST CONSIDER LEAVING YOU ALIVE!"  
"Shut up, you hairy freak!" Ranma yelled, charging forward with his aura blazing.  
"HRAAAUGH!" Mousse charged as well, and attacked with a wide, sweeping swipe of his claws.  
Ranma easily jumped the attack, and let the energy he was building coalesce into his hands as he came down on top of the cursed Amazon. "EAT IT, UGLY! _GOUKA RIPPUKU_!"  
KA-SHRAK! BWOOOM!  
Shampoo gasped as both fighters disappeared within a blossom of purple energy spikes, with a massive dust cloud being kicked up over the expanding flames.  
Ranma, for his part, coughed at the dirt that was blasted in his face, but was otherwise quite comfortable catching his breath in the midst of the huge firestorm that raged about him.  
He stopped panting when the flames before him inexplicably parted, and Mousse's cursed body became visible as it scrubbed dust out of its eyes with a forearm.  
"THAT WAS... IRRITATING."  
"Wh... Wha? No! I GOT you, damn it! I got you gooOOAGH!" He was cut off by an almost casual backhand, which tossed him away into the edge of the clearing.  
"NOW... LET ME SHOW YOU A FIREBALL."  
Ranma's eyes twitched as Mousse sucked in a mouthful of air, and groaned when he saw an orange-red glow coming from the edges of the behemoth's mouth.  
"This is going to hurt..."  
FWOOOOOSH! Ranma shouted in pain as he was suddenly bombarded head-on by a coninuous stream of fire, feeling his own aura buckle under the energy that he was being bombarded with.  
-WOOOOOooooosh! Mousse let out the last of his breath, and snorted haughtily as he saw the area Ranma had occupied either burned or burning.  
"ALL TOO EASY." The cursed Amazon stepped forward to try and confirm his kill, when he noticed one patch of fire suddenly darken to a deep purple. "WELL... IT LOOKS LIKE THE FOOL IS RESILIENT, AT LEAST."  
"RANMA!" Shampoo shouted, even more determined, "PLEASE! YOU RUN NOW! CAN NO HELP SHAMPOO!"  
The Yagami fighter grimaced as he stood up, feeling tender areas all over his body. 'My aura absorbed most of the attack... I woulda been killed otherwise for sure...'  
"RANMA! RUN! SHAMPOO BE OKAY!"  
"Shampoo, damn it, **shut up**!" Ranma shouted, surprising both Mousse and the girl in question into stunned silence.  
The pigtailed boy growled. "You're not going to be okay if I leave you, and you know it! I'm not going to give up and let this freak take you! We either leave together, or I don't leave at all!"  
"But..." for the first time in a long while, tears began to flow down her cheeks. "Ranma... you no can beat Mousse! Ranma lose, then-"  
"I'm NOT gonna lose!" Ranma shouted, catching his second wind as he eyed the beast before him warily.  
"AN ADMIRABLE SCENE," Mousse said, sneering, "BUT YOU'RE FOOLING YOURSELF. YOU CAN'T BEAT ME."  
"You're not invincible! No one is!" He insisted, moving into a ready stance. "So fire can't hurt you! Big deal! I'll take you down anyway!"  
"HA! JUST TRY IT!" Mousse shot forward and slashed low, digging his claws into the ground as Ranma disappeared like before.  
"Hi-YAH!" Smack! Ranma reappeared in the air to land a perfect roundhouse right into Mousse's jaw, and then darted forward into an open-palm strike once he touched ground, hitting Mousse solidly into the behemoth's equivalent of a solar plexus.  
"GRAAH!" Mousse attempted another swipe, only to have Ranma disappear again in a burst of speed and reappear above him.  
Moosh! Boot to the head.  
Thwack! Side kick to the knee.  
Crack! Flying elbow strike to the jaw.  
Thock! Haymaker to the stomach.  
Mousse grunted and snorted and flailed wildly as he found himself assaulted from every conceivable angle, knocked this way and that, unable to block or cover his huge body from the small, agile fighter darting in and out of his slow, heavy attempts to defend himself.  
Ranma landed another strike to the side of Mousse's neck, and then rebounded off of the arm that was coming up to knock him away, jumping up off of it to gain extra height and distance in his jump.  
Once he touched ground again, his legs almost buckled and dumped his body on the ground; as much damage as he had just done during his assault, his lungs burned for air from the exertion, and his arms and legs ached as if he had been pounding sandbags for the entire day.  
'What the heck is he! It felt like I was hitting a padded brick wall!' Not entirely accurate, as Ranma had punched right through brick walls before, but it was a reasonable simile.  
Of course, what disturbed him more than the exhaustion settling in his own body was the total lack of the same in Mousse.  
"ARE YOU DONE?" the behemoth asked calmly, betraying no hint of pain or injury from the multitude of attacks against its person.  
"That depends. Do you give up yet?" Ranma said sarcastically, attempting to catch his breath again while Mousse bided his own time.  
Rather than answering, Mousse rushed forward, and snatched the exhausted Ranma up in one of his claws.  
Chuckling darkly, the demonic monstrosity lifted the pigtailed boy up in front of him so that he could look the boy in the eyes. "HMMM... A GOOD TRY. NOW, HOW TO FINISH YOU OFF... BURNED TO ASH? OR SHOULD I BITE YOUR HEAD OFF? OR PERHAPS YOU'D PREFER I SIMPLY CRUSH YOU, LIKE A GRAPE..."  
Ranma winced as Mousse started tightening his grip. "I'd prefer... that you stop talking. Otherwise your breath is gonna suffocate me." Then he flicked his wrist, causing a small, thin object to slip out of his sleeve. "Oh, by the way, you dropped this." Shwick!  
"GWAAAAARGH!" Mousse bellowed in pain as Ranma stabbed the knife deeply across his eye, slicing deep into the flesh and completely ripping through the soft, sensitive organ beneath it.  
SMASH! Ranma resisted the urge to cry out as he was slammed into the ground hard enough to leave a crater behind, and groaned as he quickly stumbled to his feet, holding his stomach.  
He felt queasy not only because of the attack, but also because he had never inflicted such a wound upon anybody before, whether that person was a training buddy or a psycho out to kill him. Slicing someone's eye open was beyond his tolerance for cruelty and inflicting pain, and had Mousse been human at the time, he was certain he never would have done it, no matter what the situation.  
Getting his footing back, Ranma put some distance between him and the cursed Amazon, and then looked back to see how he was faring with the wound.  
Mousse let out a deep, shuddering breath as blood and other fluids dribbled down his face, leaking easily past the paw he held over the deep and grievous wound.  
After a few more deep breaths, his breathing had returned to normal, and he removed his paw and blinked his still-torn eyelids over his completely restored organ.  
Ranma twitched, and his face darkened as he watched the split eyelid regenerate before his very eyes, the cut sealing itself within moments and leaving no trace a wound was every inflicted.  
"You have **GOT** to be kidding me..."  
Mousse turned toward the pigtailed boy, and his own aura came into focus, engulfing the behemoth in a thin cocoon of angry red.  
"THAT HURT," he said simply. "NOW I'M MAD."

Shampoo gasped in concern as she watched Mousse tear into her friend once again, not giving the pigtailed boy another chance to recover his breath and bearings.  
She had known Mousse's cursed form was powerful, but she had no idea how powerful until she had the chance to watch him fight someone who pushed the behemoth's defensive abilities to their limits. Honestly, fire-proof, super-tough, AND possessing unfathomable regenerative abilities? What chance did Ranma have?  
'But that doesn't matter, does it?' Shampoo thought to herself. 'Some excuse for a warrior I am. He comes along to the rescue, refuses to quit and leave me even in the face of certain death, despite the fact I'm not in danger! And what am I doing? Playing the perfect damsel in distress, watching helplessly as a man I care for is beaten to death by my own damned suitor!'  
She grew angrier and angrier with each blow she watched Mousse land on Ranma, and she began to tug fiercely at her bonds. 'This is NOT how a warrior acts! I refuse to burden him like this! I will NOT watch him die from here!'

Bash! Ranma grunted, and a spray of blood came from his mouth as Mousse swept his arm right into the pigtailed boy's stomach, bringing him up into the air, and then quickly throwing him down into the Earth again.  
Wham! Crrrrunch! Ranma's body formed a deep rut in the ground as he slid across the clearing, stopping several meters away by virtue of slamming into a tree.  
"HA HA HA HA HA! THIS IS FUN! I'M ACTUALLY GLAD YOU LANDED THAT LITTLE HIT EARLIER! I WAS ABOUT TO FINISH YOU OFF QUICKLY!"  
Ranma flinched, and then slowly got to his feet, spitting up more blood onto the ground. "Th-That... all you got?"  
SMASH! Mousse responded by rushing up to his foe and striking him straight down into the ground, leaving an even deeper crater than before.  
Then he scooped up the Yagami fighter and threw him across the field in a punishing overhand throw, giving a satisfying smirk as he watched two trees break and fall from Ranma's impacts with them.  
That smirk faded when Ranma simply coughed some more and got back on his feet, resting his hands on his knees as he gasped for breath.  
'What is he made of, iron? Every bone in his body should be in little toothpick-sized shards by now!' To be honest, it was starting to frighten the cursed Amazon. Why did the foreigner keep getting back up, even if he **was** still alive and capable of fighting? He had to know he didn't stand a chance of winning... right?  
"S-Soon as I... catch my b-breath... then it's **on**," Ranma said, his voice wavering slightly as his vision swam before him.  
"YOUR BRAVADO AMUSES ME, OUTSIDER FILTH!" Mousse said, sneering. "SO I'LL TELL YOU WHAT. IF YOU LEAVE NOW AND RETURN TO YOUR HOME, I'LL LET YOU GO, AND YOU CAN KEEP LIVING UNTIL I DECIDE TO TRACK YOU DOWN LATER." The Amazon chuckled.  
Ranma looked down, sweat mixing with blood as it dribbled down his cheek. "Not... leaving... Shampoo... so... screw you, freak."  
"SHAMPOO IS **MINE**, FOOL." Mousse said condescendingly. "BUT BECAUSE I SYMPATHIZE WITH YOUR DESIRE FOR HER, AND BECAUSE I'M IN A GOOD MOOD WITH HER AS MY NEW WIFE, I'M WILLING TO LET YOU GO." He grinned. "WHO KNOWS? MAYBE IN YOUR EXTRA TIME, YOU'LL FIGURE OUT A WAY TO BEAT ME!"  
"I'm NOT leaving Shampoo!" Ranma said, gritting his teeth, and idly puzzling over the "wife" comment. "I'd never leave any of my friends in the hands of a monster like you!"  
"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" The behemoth laughed uproariously at that, confusing the pigtailed fighter. "OH, IT IS TO LAUGH! **ME**, THE MONSTER?"  
"Well, without any due respect, you **are** the big, ugly demon freak around here," Ranma explained.  
"IT WAS NOT **ME** WHO RAVAGED THE HOMES OF SO MANY INNOCENT AMAZONS IN CHINA!"  
The implication struck Ranma like a lightning bolt, and he shuddered as visions and memories began to assault him. "Sh-Shut up! Just shut up!"  
"SO MANY INNOCENTS! WOMEN AND CHILDREN AND ELDERLY! ALL RUNNING FOR THEIR LIVES BEFORE THE STORMS OF VIOLET DEATH!"  
"I SAID, SHUT Uuuuaugh!" Ranma suddenly leaned over and held his stomach in pain as a painful convulsion struck him, and his vision began to grow more erratic. 'Oh no! It's happening again! No... gotta stop it...'  
"YOU'RE THE MONSTER; ATTACKING INDISCRIMINATELY, SPREADING DESTRUCTION AT WILL! YOU DON'T DESERVE SHAMPOO!"  
'No... damn it...' Ranma coughed up more blood, and he was vaguely aware of his body temperature skyrocketing without the aid of either Mousse's flames or his own.  
"IN MY CARE, SHE WILL BE PROTECTED, NOT CONSTANTLY IN DANGER OF-OOF!"  
Ranma winced and looked up hesitantly upon hearing Mousse being interrupted, and managed to make out Shampoo's body standing in front of him from behind the painful haze. "Huh?"  
"Ranma take time and catch breath," Shampoo said, keeping her eyes locked on the confused and upset-looking behemoth, "Shampoo keep Mousse busy."  
"YAGAMI, YOU COWARD!" Mousse bellowed angrily, "HIDING BEHIND THE PRIZE NOW, ARE WE?"  
Shampoo's glare intensified, and her own aura manifested. "Shampoo is NOT prize! Shampoo warrior! And refuse let Ranma die while sit down and watch!"  
"THIS IS A MAN-TO-MAN FIGHT!" Mousse insisted, waving her away, "YOU WOULDN'T INTERFERE IN THAT, WOULD YOU?"  
"Man to man?" Shampoo scoffed, chuckling bitterly. "Mousse is coward in one form and monster in next! Face Ranma as man, Mousse so weak he feel sorry! Have no right say that!"  
"SHAMPOO, I-" The cursed Amazon blinked, and then growled. "DAMMIT, DON'T YOU KNOW WHEN TO STAY DOWN!"  
Ranma leaned backwards and cracked his back, and then wiped some of the blood off his mouth with his sleeve. "Pops always did say that was one of my 'problem areas'." He turned to Shampoo, and smiled pleasantly. "Hey, thanks. Things were getting pretty ugly. Not that I couldn't have handled it."  
The violet-tressed Amazon smirked. "Of course. Shampoo know."

'Yeah, as if we can handle it together,' Ranma thought, falling into his own stance. 'Even if Mousse refuses to hurt Shampoo, which he might not, we still can't do a thing to put him down! Shampoo's neither as strong nor quite as fast as me, and doesn't have her weapons either. Now we're BOTH in hot water.'  
Then he blinked. 'Hot water...' "GOD, I am **such** an idiot!"  
Shampoo and Mousse both blinked and stared at the pigtailed boy after this exclamation, startled by the sudden confession.  
"Shampoo! Get behind him, quick!" Ranma yelled, darting off to the side.  
"WH-WHAT!" Mousse began to track Ranma, but then stopped and directed his attention toward Shampoo, who was dashing around to get to his weak spot. Ranma's sudden shout and following directions stunk of a plan, and he knew who the weakest link in this battle was.  
As Mousse raised his talons though, he hesitated, and the critical moment passed as Shampoo moved out of range. If he was to strike Shampoo so as to take her out quickly, he risked causing severe, perhaps even permanent damage to her, and that could NOT be allowed. Last night he had the luxury of surprise and time; in this battle split-decisions were what counted, and Mousse was found wanting as he desperately flailed around looking for a route to safety.  
Ranma jumped up toward a tree and rebounded off of it, his aura glowing brighter and raging hotter than it had during the entire battle so far. "Only gonna get one shot at this... _GOUKA DAN_!" Flinging his arms overhead, Ranma tossed the pulsing sphere of energy downward, sending it sailing toward the confused behemoth.  
Mousse, who was in full panic mode by now, and thus forgetting that he was fire-proof, dove down to the side of the well, letting the projectile sail past while he crouched on all fours.  
"Grab the bucket, Shampoo!" Ranma shouted as he landed. "Splash him! SPLASH HIM!"  
Mousse's eyes widened, and he whirled around and tried to jump back. Alas, it was to no avail, as Shampoo had followed commands too quickly. Time seemed to slow down as the wave of liquid arced through the air, splashing solidly against Mousse's furry chest.  
And then, within seconds, Shampoo was left staring at... a slightly wet behemoth.  
Both Amazons blinked.  
Mousse turned his head. "YOU REALLY **ARE** AN IDIOT! THIS IS COLD WATER! WHAT IS IT SUPPOSED TO DO TO **ME**?"  
Ranma smirked, and then put his hands in his pockets. "Distract you."  
Mousee blinked again. "HUH?"  
"The firebomb I threw," Ranma pointed out, "it hasn't exploded yet, has it?"  
The cursed Amazon stood and wondered what that had to do with anything, just as he was also wondering why the ground was suddenly shaking and rumbling, as if it were moments from bursting.  
Of course, everything finally came together when the ground surrounding the well exploded in a massive spray of flame and superheated water, trapping Mousse's huge behemoth body atop a powerful geyser, and tossing his much smaller human body away and into the trees beyond the forest clearing.

Thud! Snap! Crunch! "Gyaaah! Ow! Oof! Augh!" Mousse came to a slow and painful stop when he finally rolled into a thick woodland oak, his momentum having been softened by the multitude of branches that had been in his way during the fall.  
"Uuuugh..." The Chinese boy slowly sat up, his head spinning from the multiple impacts.  
"What... what just happened?" He asked himself, still dazed.  
"Mousse lose. That what happen," Shampoo explained, walking calmly through the trees with Ranma following behind her.  
"G-Gyah! Wait! Wait! Stop!" Mousse cried, attempting to get to his feet.  
Shampoo didn't stop, and in fact kept going until she was within comfortable punching range. Then she balled up a hand into a fist and struck the male Amazon solidly in the stomach, causing him to curl up and fall back down onto the ground.  
Cough! "But... Shampoo! You! I defeated-"  
Mousse was cut off as Shampoo kicked him in the same place she had just punched him, knocking the wind right out of his lungs.  
"Mousse beat nobody. Mousse do many stupid things, and now Mousse pay. Mousse still lucky; if back in village, Mousse put to death!"  
"Can't really blame 'em," Ranma said bitterly, walking up beside the Amazon girl. "This guy's nothing but trouble."  
Shampoo smiled pleasantly and began to massage her hands to loosen up the knuckles. "Ranma nice; no like beat up weakling, even if deserve it! So Shampoo do for him!"  
She pulled back a fist to begin her assault, when Ranma put a hand on her shoulder, halting her.  
"You know, for the most part you're right about the not hurting people who are weak and helpless..." Ranma glared coldly at Mousse, and then allowed a pyre to ignite in his palm, casting an eerie purple glow on the relatively dark section of woodland. "But in this case... I'd be willing to make an exception. Besides, I owe him a beating for Hashiru, too." He smiled at Shampoo. "So leave something for me to break, okay?"  
Shampoo smiled back. "Is okay!"  
Mousse, meanwhile, laid on the ground in the fetal position, whimpering. "Mommy..."

End Chapter 12 


	13. A Date and Destiny

"Hello everyone!" Min Bogard cheered, waving a hand in the air as she jumped onto the stage wearing a typical bunny girl suit. "And welcome to Black Dragon Productions Yagami 1/2 chapter 13 omake!"  
Shampoo, who was wearing the same costume, suddenly popped up from below. "Reader may wonder why Dragon boy stop using omake scene to add to story..."  
"But it's better if you just shut up and forget about it!" Min concluded, pumping a fist in the air. Then she leaned forward, holding a hand cupped around her mouth. "Trust me, buddy. If you're looking for fine plot development, you landed on the wrong cyber-pad."  
"Anyway!" The perky Ninja shouted, gesturing to the large, red curtain behind her, "This month is BDP fan appreciation month! Meaning that all of **you** fans out there - that's right! BOTH of you! - get to show your appreciation for poor, overworked Black Dragon, who slaves away regularly to meet deadlines merely to appease your unquenchable lust for entertainment! Anybody who would have guessed that fan appreciation month was about appreciating fans is obviously new here."  
Shampoo smiled brightly. "That why we host first official BDP plushie sale! All proceeds go to put stupid Dragon boy through college!"  
Min shrugged. "That's his excuse, anyway. Given that he's going on 21 years now and still living with his parents, it's just as likely he'll leech off of them for another three years and blow the profits on Warhammer models."  
"Shampoo not think parents pay after Dragon boy flunk out chemistry major."  
"True, true." Well aware that she and her companion were just a few more insults away from having random stage equipment mysteriously fall on them, Min finally grabbed the rope next to the curtain. "And now! Let's see our first item!"  
The curtains parted, revealing a single plush doll sitting on a pedestal. It was an effigy of a man with sandy-colored hair, wearing blue body armor and a black bandanna. In the plushie's right hand was a pump-action shotgun, and in its left hand was a Desert Eagle pistol.  
"The Snake plushie is an adorable ten inch reproduction of Black Dragon's most adored and revered original character! A shining beacon of insanity and violence that somehow gained favor amongst all the rest of us insane and violent OCs, Snake remains a fan-favorite that can now infiltrate YOUR home, and your heart, at the low, low price of $19.99!"  
As Min picked up the plushie, Shampoo winked and gestured to it. "Snake plushie come with real bullet-proof plastic composite body armor, shotgun, and sidearm! Have accuracy rate of 92! Is very good deal!"  
"But that's not all!" Min cheered, "This doll, in addition to being just TOO cute, comes with its own endless supply of laser tripwire bombs, plastic explosives, and proximity mines! And we do mean ENDLESS! We honestly can't figure out how, but the plushie will manage to keep producing more of the damned things! Amaze your friends and then prepare to find new ones as your adorable little psycho gun-nut devastates all with a mere pull of the cord!"  
With that said, the Ninja girl pulled on a plastic ring attached to the back of the Snake plushie, and let it go once the connected string went taut.  
The Snake plushie suddenly stood up, and then sighed. "What is the world coming to when people prefer simulated violence and killing to the real thing?" Then it turned and tossed a hand grenade to Shampoo, who blinked in surprise as she caught it. "Here ya go, toots."

Min sweatdropped as she ducked behind the pedestal for cover from the explosion, and then pulled on the hanging rope again, closing the curtain.  
"But don't think we'll stop there! Sure, we've given something for all you fans of repressed violent fanatics, who are probably only sticking around reading this stuff in vain hope that BD will break down and write a lemon someday, but what about the fangirls?"  
Shampoo coughed up some black smoke before she caught her breath well enough to speak. "Fangirls read Dragon boy fics?"  
"Of course they do!" Min said happily, "After all, what self-respecting... er... well... maybe not self-**respecting**..." She scratched her head for a moment. "Well, whatever. Chicks dig Iori, right? So obviously they read King of Fighters fics. Especially ones with the guy's name in the title. Anyway, on to the doll!"  
The curtain opened once again, but this time where the Snake plushie used to be, there was instead a plushie of the same size with black hair in a pigtail. It was wearing a black jacket with a white crescent moon on the back, and its eyes were set in a half-lidded glare.  
"Half dark, angsty, bad-ass bishie, and half plucky, heroic macho man, the Ranma Yagami plushie has something for every anime fangirl! Unless they're one of those weirdos who are into nice guy/loser anime men, in which case they're watching the wrong series anyway."  
Shampoo finally finished dusting off all the soot that had covered her, and patted the plushie Ranma on the head. "Ranma Yagami plushie Shampoo favorite! Light fire with no match, it keep girl warm any time!" With a blissful smile, the Amazon picked up the plush doll and squeezed it against her chest.  
Min immediately snatched it away from Shampoo, causing the other girl to glare at her. "That's right ladies! And this huggable, lovable little sweetie can be all yours for just $59.99! That's right! We're not even pretending this is a deal!"  
Shampoo sweatdropped. "Need extra money to cover lawsuit what happen with sale. Already lawyer from SNK call twice!"  
Min nodded. "It's definitely **not** because we want to spend our work hours cuddled up in crates of Ranma Yagami dolls! Nope! Not at all!"

The curtain closed again, and Min once again started her introductory spiel, though this time with noticeably less enthusiasm.  
"The last item is a bit of a... well, it's sort of a rush job that was put onto paper after the whole Rayden Shikodan triplet production scheme fell through."  
Shampoo sighed. "Stupid dragon boy pick bad time drop space fic. And get mauled by angry fanboys."  
Min smiled and shrugged, a sweatdrop rolling down her head. "Luckily, he's used to getting beaten up and having his lunch money stolen! And now, if for some ungodly reason you want him around, he can be yours, in plushie form!"  
She raised the curtain once again, revealing yet another dark-haired plushie, but with its hair in a ponytail instead of a pigtail. It wore metal-rim glasses, a pair of sweat pants, and an "All I know I learned from Nintendo" T-shirt, giving the doll an unmistakable "cutting edge nerd" look.  
"True, he may not look like much, but if you're willing to put up with the constant whining and spiteful sarcasm, this Black Dragon, Lord of Chaos plushie actually presents a wide range of talents, from writing copious amounts of reasonably entertaining fiction, painting tiny figurines, calculating mathematical tables, and doing homework!"  
Shampoo shrugged. "Warning what come with doll: Dragon plushie find hidden stash candy and eat if not watched. Also, if have computer with internet-"  
"Which you probably do, given that you're reading this," Min reasoned wryly.  
"-Dragon plushie spend all day spamming internet forum, and not get work done," Shampoo finished, shaking her head.  
"All this, and slightly more, at a low, low price of just 12 cents! Note that you can get 50 off the listed price of the plushie if you promise the representative on the phone not to perpetrate any acts of voodoo magic upon our brittle and hapless creator!" Min said, poking the doll in the head.  
"Shampoo not sure what happen if pull cord, though," the Amazon admitted, picking up the doll.  
Min laughed as she sweatdropped. "Why, the BD plushie utters one of dozens of classic phrases, bringing to your home the kind of bitter, disillusioned sarcasm that is perfectly unique to a 20-year dateless fanboy living with his parents as he works at Round Table Pizza to pay for his junior college classes that might someday make him an accountant! Does the fun ever stop? Ha ha ha... ha... haaaaa..." Min slumped forward as he face darkened. "Don't pull the cord. I don't think I can take it."  
Shampoo's curiousity got the better of her, and she pulled on the plastic ring on the back.  
The BD plushie immediately flipped to its feet, and began talking to itself. "Akane's character, while perfectly suited to the given genre of 'romantic comedy' attributed to the series, is inevitably a poor choice of spouse for Ranma Saotome. Whether you grant that she's a psychotic whore, an idiot, a scarred child, or even say that she's a perfectly normal, perhaps saintly human being, and all instances of violence are just and righteous wrath against a vile and hideously insensitive Ranma, the fact remains that the two are unequivocably wrong for each other and that... Shampoo-chan!" Pausing in the middle of his unsolicited spiel, the doll launched itself towards Shampoo's chest Happosai-style, and managed a perfect glomp attack on her breasts.  
Shampoo, having experienced a kind of creeping sedation from Black Dragon's monologue not unlike the effect of large animal tranquilizers, was unable to defend herself, and began to run around in a panic once she realized she was under some form of assault.  
Min sweatdropped as she watched her co-star flee the stage screaming. Then she turned back around, looking apologetic. "Aheh... usually his bitter, disillusioned sarcasm is more concise than that. Sorry. Anyway, on with the show!"

Yagami 1/2  
A Ranma 0.5/King of Fighters Crossover  
by Black Dragon  
http/ the promised chapter! Complete with disclaimer saying I don't own Ranma, Nodoka, Mai, or Andy Bogard! There are other character from Rumiko Takahashi that'll show up, but frankly, they're not important or likeable enough to sue over.  
I'd like to make an announcement that, for once, is not personal in nature: starting now, with all my given fanfics, I am implementing format changes to account for damnable dispensation of my precious asterisks.  
From now on, I will be using italics to indicate sounds or artificially produced speech, such as radio messages and such, instead of using asterisks. Fighting techniques, which I liked to type in italics for reasons that could not be understood without allowing oneself to suffer a swirlie in the toilet bowl of utter madness, will now be set out using bold print, along with emphasized words that I don't feel like typing in caps. I will now use regular dashes instead of underscores to generate scene separation lines. I will continue using the strange parenthesis-like marks for different languages even though they don't show up on though I'll be sure to make note of which language is being spoken more carefully.  
I take no pleasure in this act of conformity, and will continue damning the administrators and any legal offspring of theirs, for decades to come. My only satisfaction comes from continuing to deny my readers their much sought-after double-spacing. MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!  
So, to recap: _Sounds_, **Emphasis or techniques**, Written words, 'cause brackets actually show up on 'Thoughts', "Dialogue", "Dialogue in a different language"

Chapter 13  
A Date and Destiny

Ranma grunted in his sleep, and droplets of sweat began to bead on his forehead as he turned over, his expression disturbed.  
"Uhnnn... can't... stop it... Sh... Shampoo? N... no..."  
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Ranma's vision swam as he saw Mousse's behemoth form stalk up to him. The beast's nostrils blew out a thick puff of smoke, which seemed to possess a furious array of sparkles that sang to the most primal parts of Ranma's brain.  
Red splotches danced across his hazy vision as the monstrous demon reached for him; huge, hooked talons that would tear steel as easily as paper.  
And then...  
"HRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!"  
He wasn't sure what had happened. Where had that scream come from? He could hear his heart pounding, and yet he felt perfectly calm. He could sense his blood rushing through his veins, and in some parts of his body out of his veins, yet he felt no pain, and no adrenaline touched him.  
He looked to his right, and blinked lazily. Mousse's human head laid on the ground, its face frozen in perpetual horror, its eyes filled with shock as blood trickled from the torn and shredded neck. Slumping onto the ground slowly beside it was Mousse's montrous behemoth body, severed at the neck, its damage obviously beyond regeneration. Ranma wanted to recoil in horror. Did he do this?  
Instead, the edges of his mouth curled into a wry smirk, and he turned his head to look forward. A massive pile of bodies lay there, the corpses having been tossed haphazardly upon one another. At the very top of the pile, a small bit of purple flame burned at the top, the violet embers slowly eating downward into the core of the heap. A sizzling sound reached Ranma's ears as the flames began to burn away the blood oozing down the pile, seeping from hundreds of cuts and gashes that blocked the fire's progress with barricades of bright, liquid crimson. Ranma wanted to scream and cover his ears to protect his mind from the sound, increasing as it was in volume and frequency. But instead he smirked at the pile, and his eyes darted from head to bloodied head, taking in the features of those minor enemies he had made in life; people that he disliked, but who he had never seriously thought about maiming or killing. People like Kuno. Nabiki. Akane. Ryoga (though Ranma actually had thought about maiming him. And then he did). From there downward toward the base of the pile, Ranma recognized that the acquaintances who had been slaughtered were becoming increasingly less familiar, and the misdeeds he remembered increasingly minor, to the point that he couldn't recognize most of the lower half of the body heap, much less remember what offense they had committed to warrant this massacre. Ranma gave in to the rising feeling of nausea, fear, and disgust, and let go control of his legs, so that he could fall on his knees and gibber in terror.  
Instead, Ranma chuckled, his smirk growing into a lazy smile. A feeling of warmth seemed to flow through him, congratulating him on his act of slaughter. And then he turned his head to his left.  
Ranma wanted to sob, but by now had realized that he would not cry, no matter how badly his heart stung at the sight before him. His home, blasted apart, in splinters, the remainder being eaten away by the hungry flames that he himself commanded. His family, sprawled on the ashen lawn, each one destroyed. His mother, ripped apart at the waist. His little sister, blasted with flame into a charred skeleton. His father, gutted through the chest, as if a cannon had blown through his heart.  
Ranma wanted to scream, wanted to cry, wanted to turn away, but his body would do no such thing as he further admired his handiwork. Surrounding his massacred family was the rest of Ranma's friends and loved ones. The people that had always been there for him, or at least had been thankful that he had been there for them. Shampoo, Min, Tomas, Hashiru, Hana, Kasumi...  
"WHY!" Ranma wanted to shout, hoping that some greater will, or perhaps the cold, sadistic being that controlled his body could explain this catastrophe, assure him that it was not real. Assure him that it could be prevented. Assure him that it was not his fault...  
Instead, Ranma grinned and laughed. Not the harsh, psychotic cackle of a murderer, but a light, happy laugh that simply spoke of one truly enjoying himself.  
"Why..."  
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"Gaugh!" Ranma jerked up in bed, throwing the covers off himself as he grasped the air wildly, his eyes wide with terror.  
With consciousness, perception began to spiral chaotically around him and fall into place, and the pigtailed boy wobbled dizzily for a moment, panting, as he desperately grasped and clung to the idea that he was in his room in his undemolished home, rather than outside in the middle of a mass slaughter of his own devising.  
"It... It was just a dream... Okay... of COURSE it was just a dream... breathe, Ranma..." Ranma began talking to himself to attempt to calm himself as he felt the adrenaline still pumping through him.  
He remained sitting upright and facing straight forward for several minutes as his breathing slowed, and soon his panting was replaced by trembling.  
Luckily, no one was around to see it. If someone had been, Ranma would have completely attributed it to the sheen of sweat he had collected while his subconscious was scaring him half to death. Not the actual scaring. Of course not.  
Sliding out of bed, Ranma glanced at his alarm clock. 6 A.M. The pigtailed boy grimaced. 'Too early to be up, too late to go back to sleep. What a way to top off a horrific nightmare.'  
Trying to decide upon what to do with the extra time that morning (he could stretch his normal morning workout, but didn't really feel very good about practicing combat at the moment), Ranma sluggishly walked out into the hallway and then into the bathroom, collecting his thoughts.  
Once in the bathroom, Ranma turned on the cold water tap and splashed his face, jerking back in surprise as his Jusenkyou curse activated. "Geez... didn't even see it coming. I'm really out of it right now..." Not that she felt ashamed of her unease. Maybe her father, Mr. Stone Face Yagami could shrug off the images of friends and family thrashed and bloodied and still give 110 that morning, but for Ranma, that kind of thing just didn't spin. She was disturbed, she was scared, and she needed time to think.  
Ranma stared leadenly at the petite, redheaded face in the mirror. "Back when I was fighting Mousse... I know I was on the ropes, but... but still..." he had almost lost it. He had almost lost control and gone berserk.  
It just wasn't right. The first time it had happened, she had contracted a life-altering curse and had one of her major ideals shattered. The second time she had been beaten to within an inch of her life before finding out that someone who she had started to develop real feelings for had betrayed her trust, selling her most secret fear to her enemies for money.  
She scowled. This time, she had been in pain and had started to feel the battle was hopeless when Mousse had started mocking her for her berserk tendencies. Not a nice thing to go through, but hardly the kind of crippling emotional misery she had suffered the only other times she had experienced the Riot of the Blood.  
'Maybe it isn't emotional misery? Maybe the power just comes to me whenever I really need it?' Ranma rolled that thought around in her head, and then shuddered. Given what she already knew about the Riot, and what she had seen in the dream, she desperately hoped that wasn't true. 'If an outcome like that is possible... better to die fighting fair. Much better.'  
The most likely cause, of course, was just as frightening. If the Riot of the Blood really was occurring more easily, and with lower levels of distress, there was no telling when or where she could end up suffering an emotional blow that turns her into a raging monster. 'Worse, I don't know why it's taking hold of me more easily. Is it because I've already succumbed to it twice? Or is it... getting stronger on its own?'  
Ranma grimaced as her thoughts began thumbing through all the possible ways she could be feeding her berserk tendencies and not even know it.  
'Ugh. It could be how often I use my flames... or how powerful my flames are... or just how strong a fighter I am, even!' "Yeesh. Maybe I should just move into a mountain and become a monk. No more fighting, no more training, no more evil fire of a dark God... lame."  
Ranma knew that she could never realistically give up fighting, much less general martial arts practice. It was a part of who she was. Actually, it was nearly all of who she was. 'But is that because I love it, or is that the Orochi's influence?' Ranma sighed as she turned on the warm water tap. This whole thing sucked, and didn't show any signs of not sucking in the future.

As Ranma splashed the warm water over his face to change back into a male, he noticed for the first time that there was a note taped to the wall, next to the light switch.  
It took a moment for Ranma to sort out what the note said, because despite precise, eloquent handwriting, whoever had written it had terrible grammar. After he had figured out that much, he didn't need to read the signature at the bottom to figure out who had left the note for him.  
Ranma: Thanking you for helping beat Mousse yesterday, but ashamed. Glad have friend like you to help, but need learn stand on own legs and not be burden to you. Am taking training far away place on own, so please no try follow. Be back soon.  
Ranma smiled, feeling a good deal of the anxiety he had woken up with fade away. True, he was disappointed that Shampoo had left, but he could sympathize deeply with her. Even if he didn't think of her as a burden, and was glad to protect her, a fighter as proud as she was could never be satisfied playing the damsel in distress all the time. Hell, if their positions had been reversed, and she had saved him from a rampaging monster, he would barely be able to stand it.  
'Hmmm...' P.S. Maya follow Shampoo. I take care of her good. - Shampoo  
"Huh. Maya followed her? That's kinda weird. I didn't think the cat liked her that much." In fact, the pigtailed boy couldn't recall a single time that he had seen Shampoo playing with the cat, or even idly petting her.  
Of course, had he really thought about it, Ranma would have realized that he had never even seen Shampoo and Maya in the same room together. But as it was, his mind easily skipped over that minor detail.  
'Oh well. Good luck Shamps.' With that convenient distraction from his current troubles over and done with, Ranma left for the bath.  
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Shampoo tightened her grip on her backpack straps as she bound from tree branch to tree branch, weaving her way through the trees to avoid the swamp muck below.  
_Snap!_ "Aiyah!" Shampoo started as her backpack caught on a stray branch, and she lost her footing due to the snag, sending her tumbling downward.  
She wasn't the best of the current Amazon generation for nothing, however, and her hand lashed out and caught the branch she had been standing on, keeping her from falling into the slime pits beneath her.  
Shampoo sighed and pulled herself back up on the branch, frowning at her backpack. She wasn't used to carrying one, as Amazons warriors and hunters were taught from the beginning of their training how to live off the land with nothing but their bodies, two weapons, and a single set of clothes (traveling with more gear was only approved of if one could manage to stuff it all within the confines of one's clothing; thus was born the art of hidden weapons).  
And it wasn't that Shampoo had forgotten those lessons. But traveling with a backpack to carry some extra gear just seemed so... practical. Despite it getting snagged on branches, which was pretty much her fault anyway, a backpack allowed for the minimum encumbrance for carrying a good deal of camp and survival gear. And really, what was so wrong with taking a few extra necessities to compliment the bare necessities she was used to? It wasn't like she was packing a makeup kit in there.  
The Amazon stopped moving through the trees and shook her head as she realized she was trying to rationalize it again, as if taking a backpack with her was going to make her "soft". It was true that she was flaking on several of her ancient Amazon traditions and exercises; she had been for some time. Nothing major, just a few little things she was taught to always do that didn't really seem necessary after spending some time in Japan. Things like keeping a minimal wardrobe, dietary habits, and devoted weapon maintenance. Life was pretty hard in the village, so things like snacking and shopping had seemed quite exotic and luxurious to her while she was in Japan living with Ranma. And she liked it.  
Shampoo tried to ignore the nagging doubt in the back of her mind, but felt a bit guilty about indulging in the luxuries that suburban living had to offer. Was there a line she had to be careful about crossing? How would she know what to do?  
Steeling herself, the Amazon warrior banished those thoughts from her mind as she pushed on through the trees toward her destination. For now, she was in the wilderness, far away from those luxuries, so the point was moot. She'd worry about the weakness of creature comforts later. For now, she was on a mission.  
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Min smirked as she adjusted her school uniform in the mirror, finally getting the kerchief-like collar of the uniform tucked away so that she could actually show some cleavage when she leaned over.  
She heard some other girls mumble 'slut' and 'show-off' on their way out of the school restroom, but let them be. She wasn't a tramp, and she knew it; she was only after one guy, after all! And as for showing off...  
"Heh. If you've got the goods, no reason to hide them." The Ninja gave the mirror a lazy grin. She had spent some time working with her clothes that morning to figure out how to make the drab school uniform sexier without making a fool of herself. Not an easy thing; while the skirt was easy enough to shorten, the blouse was restrictive and covered her up very well.  
As she left the bathroom and checked the clock in the hall to see when her next period was starting, Min considered the idea of simply forgoing the school uniform altogether, as Ranma and Kuno had done. Heck, Tomas was technically in violation of dress code policy too, always wearing his cap and jacket, and nobody ever said a thing.

Ninja were generally taught that one's guard could never be let down, no matter what the circumstances. For they knew, better than anyone, that death could come at any moment and from any direction, and the only real protection one had against these sudden dangers were one's body and its senses.  
Min had been given the same lessons, but had also lived a relatively normal life, and had figured out that there were actually very few places where people jumped out to attack you. So it was that she usually wasn't on high alert at school, not deeming it a very dangerous environment.  
Obviously, she hadn't been at Furinkan long enough.

_Kwaboom!_  
Min blinked as an explosion rang out behind her, startling her from her thoughts. Had she been fully aware of her surroundings at the time, she would have noticed right away that one of the victims of the explosion was heading toward her at an accelerated rate, and could have simple sidestepped him. Instead, she didn't realize this important fact until she had turned around and saw Tatewaki Kuno just before he slammed into her.  
"Gwah!" The Ninja girl shouted in surprise as she went flying backward from the impact, and grit her teeth as she hit the ground on her back, sliding down the hall a ways with Kuno lying on top of her, dazed.

Ranma blinked as the smoke cleared from his **kaen kito** attack, a bit worried after having heard a feminine shout of surprise from behind the explosion. He hadn't hit anybody with a piece of shrapnel, had he?  
He was relieved once he had gotten a good look at what had happened. 'Oh, okay. Kuno just knocked into Min. She'll be all right.'

Kuno twitched as he felt the itchy sting of minor burns all over his face, arms, and chest... a sensation that was becoming extremely familiar to him. The flames themselves hadn't burnt him badly enough to hinder him, but the kinetic force Ranma had harnessed by pressurizing the flames in his closed fists and then releasing it forward into the air had done quite a number on his senses.  
Further confusing the young noble was the surprisingly comfortable landing he had gone through. Not only that, but whatever had cushioned his landing seemed to come complete with a wonderfully soft and squishy pillow. Warm, too. And getting warmer...  
Finally deciding that he couldn't spare time for a quick nap while Ranma Yagami still stood undefeated, Kuno pulled his face out of the remarkably convenient padding in order to regroup for the attack.  
He blinked as he finally got a good look at his "cushion," who was glowing an angry red as she clutched her "pillows" protectively. She was also trembling, and had the most peculiar scowl on her pretty face.  
"Why, if it isn't the noble warrior Min Bogard who comes to my aid! Thank you, sweet flower, for breaking my fall!"

Ranma sweatdropped as he watched the events unfolding before him. 'Then again, maybe she would have preferred a chunk of tile in her face.'  
"OH, I'LL BREAK MORE THAN YOUR FALL, YOU PERVERT!" _WHAM!_  
The pigtailed boy winced as the building shook from the force of Kuno being ejected upward out of the building, blowing through an entire floor and the roof before sailing into the sky, a trail of dust and debris marking his passage.  
'Dang... she's stronger than I thought...' Of course, Ranma knew precisely how strong Min was in a fight, but seeing an enraged woman's fury-enhanced strength was intimidating for any man.  
So it was that when Min glanced over at the source of explosion, Ranma gulped and began to sweat.  
"Eh heh heh... uh... sorry?"  
The sweating continued as the teenage Ninja girl stood up and approached him, dusting herself off.  
"Er... accident! Totally! You know how it is with Kuno popping out of nowhere and attacking! He's always appearing in the middle of a crowd! Yeah! It's his fault!"  
Min raised an eyebrow, but didn't stop approaching as Ranma began backing away toward the end of the hall.  
"Oh, gimme a break! Hell, you just made a big hole in the third story hallway!" Ranma tried desperately, glancing at the stairwell to his right. All he needed was a moment of hesitation...  
Which he didn't get, as Min slammed her left palm flat against the wall next to Ranma's arm, barring him from any easy escape. Then the shinobi looked up into his eyes.  
"So. What're you doing tomorrow night?"  
Ranma blinked as he realized he wasn't under attack. "T-Tomorrow night? What?"  
"Got any plans?" Min asked, not dropping her neutral tone. "You know: family trips, duels, babysitting jobs, heroic rescues, dates, that sort of thing."  
Ranma blinked again. He understood the words that were being spoken, but his mind was blowing a fuse trying to put them in context and figure out where Min was going with this line of questioning. At least it seemed like he wasn't in trouble... though for some reason, he still felt a wicked urge to flee down the stairs.  
"Uhm... n-no. Nothing like that. Er... why?"  
Suddenly, Min smiled brightly. "Oh, okay! Then how about we have dinner together? And we can catch a movie, too!"  
Ranma stared back at the Ninja, unblinking. "Are you... asking me out on a date?"  
Min gave him a slightly curious look. "Yeah... is there anything wrong with that?"  
Ranma's eyes slowly drifted to the right, confirming that Min's arm was still barring any easy escape down the stairs. "Of course not. Time and place?"  
"My place at five," Min said happily, finally standing up straight and withdrawing her arm. "Oh, and dress casual. No need for anything fancy."  
"Yes, Ma'am," Ranma said rigidly, wondering if she expected him to be writing this down.  
"Hee hee! Don't call me 'Ma'am', silly!" The Ninja giggled and turned away, making sure her skirt swayed sharply with the movement. "Don't be late! Bye!"

The flirtatious move was lost on Ranma (naturally), as he took a moment of introspective thought to try and figure out how he should feel about what just happened.  
"Did my cousin just bully you into taking her out?" Tomas asked, coming the rest of the way up the stairs from where he had been watching the exchange.  
Ranma winced, then looked indignant. "'Bullied'? Ha! Please! She couldn't bully me into doing anything!" He insisted, crossing his arms over his chest haughtily. "It just sounded like a good idea, that's all! Hell, why shouldn't I go out with her?"  
Tomas raised an eyebrow at him. Granted, Min was a gorgeous, intelligent young woman who shared several interests with Ranma, so realistically he had no reason to question their going out... but still, he knew Ranma pretty well. "You know she's going to make you pay for everything, right?"  
Ranma twitched violently, as if being struck. "Dang it. Well... I guess it's to be expected..."  
"Plus, she's not going to take you to a cheap restaurant just because you're dressing casual."  
"Urgh!" Ranma flinched again, starting to recall memories of the few times he had eaten in expensive, fancy restaurants that served tiny portions and charged extra for the "atmosphere" and a big list of available alcohols. He **hated** places like that.  
"And given that she wanted you to meet up with her at five..." Tomas started, shaking his head sadly, "well, she probably wants to go to the mall for a shopping trip first."  
"Gack!" Ranma started as he recalled the misery of his last trip to the mall with women. "Oh no... what have I done?" he mumbled, twitching irritably.  
Then the American fighter chuckled and slapped Ranma on the back. "But hey, that's what dating's all about, right? And Min's worth it!"  
"All about. Worth it," Ranma mumbled leadenly, obviously not believing him.  
"Hey, don't be like that! Play your cards right, and you could make second base tonight!" Tomas grinned and winked at the pigtailed boy.  
Ranma blinked. "Second base? Are we going to go to a baseball game too?"  
"..." The blond teenager remained silent for a moment, and kept grinning at his confused friend. "You don't date much, do you?"  
"What? Of course I do!" Ranma insisted, smirking. "I know what I'm doing!"  
"..." Tomas' expression didn't change. "You don't date much, do you?"  
Ranma slumped. "No."  
The American shook his head sadly, and clicked his tongue. "I figured as much. Well, don't worry about it; I'll help you out!"  
"You?" The pigtailed boy asked skeptically. It wasn't that he found it hard to believe that Tomas was popular with girls, but he had enough in common with the American street fighter to assume that Tomas had suffered the same kind of social lapses he had.  
Tomas smirked. "Unlike you, I didn't spend my childhood camping in the wilderness. I'm actually pretty experienced as far as relationships go."  
Ranma nodded slowly. That made sense, really. And it was very convenient for him. He certainly didn't want to ask his mother for hints, and Hashiru didn't really seem like a good role model as far as relationships went. Of course, he could ask his father Iori... but he really had no idea what he would come away with in that instance, only that it would be either bad or unhelpful.  
"Okay, I guess I could use a few pointers," Ranma said, trying to salvage a little bit of the cockiness he had displayed before. "For example, say she goes into a store and tries on a dress. Should I enter the changing room with her, or is that more of a 'third date' thing?" He was pretty sure it was, but then, having Shampoo drag him into a changing booth when they weren't even dating had cast that point in doubt. "Well, unless I'm a girl at the time, obviously. Then it's okay, right?"  
"..." Tomas stared expressionlessly at the young Yagami, searching for any signs of jest. He found none.  
"'Pointers' nothing," the American said, patting Ranma on the back. "My friend, you're getting the whole lesson. What's your next class?"  
Ranma blinked. "Biology."  
"Skip it. You're no good at it anyway," Tomas said, grabbing the other boy by the jacket and pulling him toward the exit. "Come on. Today you're going to learn something useful, for a change."  
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"All right, then. Let's talk about talk," Tomas said authoritatively, slapping a long, thin metal rod against his upraised palm.  
Ranma blinked. He was currently sitting on a couch in the living room of the Bogard household with a stand-up tray in front of him, presenting a firm writing surface for the pad of notebook paper and pen he had been given. Tomas was standing in front of him with a pointing rod, and for reasons beyond Ranma's comprehension, was wearing a black tie in addition to his normal jeans and sleeveless jacket outfit. Behind the American was a tripod-mounted presentation stand, which held a thick ream of prepared visual aids.  
"Conversation is very important for dating. Especially at first, when you can't spend the whole date feeling each other up. The key is what I call the 'Three L's': Listen, Laugh, and Lie."  
Ranma sweatdropped. "Lying is a part of this, too?"  
Tomas frowned at him, and then slapped the stand-up tray with his pointer. "Are you planning on taking notes? Because there **will** be a test on this."  
"You wrote out a TEST, too?" Ranma asked incredulously.  
"Hey, this is important stuff!" Tomas protested. "Now pay attention!"  
Pulling down the first sheet of paper on the display stand, Tomas revealed a diagram of a female stick figure talking while a male stick figure dozed off. Below the drawings was a pie chart that was composed of a large pink sector, and a much smaller blue sector.  
"Point number one! Listen! If given the opportunity, a woman will gladly do most of the talking during a date! This is a good thing, since you never have any way of knowing whether what you say will offend her or not. Trust me on this; talking during a date is like playing a slot machine. You might get lucky, but you usually lose out, and there's nothing you can do to improve the odds."  
Ranma finished writing that part down, though he frowned at what he was being told. "What about compliments? I can compliment her, right?"  
Tomas shook his head. "Compliments should be used sparingly; mostly as a way to break a moment of silence or give a nicer greeting when you meet her. If you use too many, they become cheapened, and you still have no way of knowing if you'll say something wrong or not."  
Ranma shook his head as he made the appropriate notes. Was it really that complicated?  
"The best part about the Listen tactic is that as long as you maintain eye contact and don't fall asleep or anything while you let her talk, you get bonus points from then on for being a 'good listener', even if you can't recall a single thing she said. It should be easier for you, since you and Min actually have things in common."  
Ranma nodded as he wrote it down.  
"The second L is Laugh. This one is easy to understand, a bit harder to put into practice. Girls like guys with a sense of humor. Especially early on, jokes are a great way to score relatively safe points with communication. Just make sure they're in good taste. Meaning NO PUNS." Tomas was particularly insistent upon this point, as he shook his pointer in Ranma's general direction.  
Ranma scratched his head. "But really, Japanese humor is pretty big on-"  
"NO. PUNS." The American said firmly, slapping Ranma's note pad with his pointer. "Moving on. Lying."  
Tearing down the first illustration, Tomas revealed a drawing of the same two stick figures, but with the man speaking with his fingers crossed behind his back.  
"Eventually, you will be called upon to say something in a context where a joke would be inappropriate. This is where lying comes in handy. Any time you're called upon to talk about yourself, try to stick to things she already knows or is interested in. When that well runs dry, and it will, lie. It doesn't really matter what the lie is; even if she takes offense, it will probably turn her off less than the truth."  
Ranma sweatdropped as he finished writing down his notes. "But aren't relationships supposed to be completely honest or something?"  
"Relationships and dating are different," Tomas said sharply, slapping Ranma's note book again with the pointer. "You have a relationship with someone you're already with. You date someone you want to get with. You can afford to tell all your ugly secrets and embarrassing truths to somebody who's already committed enough time to getting to know you."  
"Makes sense..." The pigtailed boy murmured.  
"The topic of conversation inevitably leads us to the most dreaded mood-killer," Tomas started, suddenly looking dark and solemn. "The 'no-win query'."  
Ranma raised an eyebrow. "What's THAT?"  
Instead of speaking, Tomas revealed the next visual aid for his lesson, which had the same stick figure people from before, with a second female stick figure walking past them.  
"The 'no-win query' is any question that has to do with other women, or appearance. Typical examples are 'do you think she's pretty,' 'does my hair look okay,' and the feared and despised 'does this dress make me look fat.'"  
Ranma stopped to think for a moment. "... No, yes, and no... right?"  
"Ha!" Tomas barked, causing Ranma to jerk back. "If only it was so easy! Every one of those questions are asked with a the 'bad' answer in mind. If you disagree, she'll call you on it, claim you don't understand her or can't trust her to handle the truth, and that you don't care about her feelings. If you agree, she'll call you shallow and superficial, and that you don't care about her feelings."  
Ranma was sweating now as he wrote it all down. Who knew that talking could be so dangerous? "So... the only option is retreat, right?"  
"Last resort, actually," Tomas corrected, "the best solution to the 'no-win query' is to just glance at whatever it is she's drawing attention to, nod non-committally, and then change the subject! Acting uninterested while taking her side is the only way to distract her long enough to engage in a different topic!"  
The pigtailed boy mulled this over for a moment. "So... I'm going to nod if she asks me if she's fat?"  
"No, that's a special case," Tomas admitted. "In that case, fleeing is probably best. With a quick strike to the back of the head to knock her out first."  
"I should knock her out and then leave her in the middle of a date?" Ranma asked incredulously.  
"She deserves it for asking that," Tomas insisted.

"Tomas! I brought some crackers!" Both boys turned away from their discussion as Mai wandered into the room, carrying a tray of snacks and cups of tea, and with her youngest daughter Kikyo trailing behind her.  
"Ah. You must be Min's mom," Ranma deduced, as Tomas had told him ahead of time that the house belonged to his cousin's family. Also, the similarities in bust size were simply impossible to miss.  
Seeing Mai's questioning look (he had told her that a friend was coming over, but hadn't mentioned who), Tomas gestured to the pigtailed boy. "Aunt Mai, this is Ranma Yagami. Ranma, this my Aunt Mai Bogard."  
Mai looked surprised. "Oh! You're Iori Yagami's son?"  
Ranma blinked. "Yeah. You know my dad?"  
"We've... met," Mai mumbled, twitching slightly. "I still have the scars to prove it."  
Tomas winced. "Ooh... awkward..." Then he glanced at Ranma. "Keep taking notes. You'll want to avoid moments like this tomorrow."  
"What's happening tomorrow?" Mai asked curiously, picking up a cup of tea and taking a sip.  
Tomas chuckled. "Min cornered him in the hallway and got him to agree to take her out."  
Mai stared at Ranma questioningly. "Min... asked **you** out?" She asked. Generally it was supposed to be the other way around.  
Ranma sweatdropped. "Yeah. You have a very, uh... assertive daughter."  
Little Kikyo, who had been hiding partially behind Mai's dress, finally came out to meet the stranger. "Hello! You can call me Kiyo-chan!"  
Everyone else in the room couldn't help but smile at the little girl as she spoke, overwhelmed by how cute she was.  
"You're the man-girl cousin Tommy was talking about, aren't you?"  
_Thud!_ Ranma fell over and hit the carpet as the others in the room sweatdropped.  
"Kikyo, it's not nice to make fun of something like that!" Mai scolded, secretly wondering if she could "accidentally" spill some cold water on their guest before he left to see the rumored transformation herself.  
Ranma twitched, then turned toward Tomas, who chuckled nervously as he scratched the back of his head. "So, I'm guessing you told your family about the curse, huh?"  
"Eh heh... well, I needed to tell them SOMETHING after I came home from the Hebereke match with second-degree burns," Tomas explained.  
Ranma's eye twitched again. "'Man-girl'?"  
"Okay, fine, there was probably a better way to say it, but YOU try explaining something like that to a seven-year old!"  
"Anyway," Mai muttered, shooing her youngest daughter out of the room. "It's nice of you to offer to give him some pointers, Tomas." Then she glanced at the display. "Have you covered the three L's already?"  
_Thud!_ Ranma faceplanted once again, this time hard enough to leave a shallow Ranma-shaped indentation in the carpet. "You know about that?"  
Mai raised an eyebrow. "Of course I do. Who do you think taught **him**?" She jabbed a thumb at Tomas, who sweatdropped and shrugged. "Anyway, where were you at, exactly?"  
"Er... I was just about to cover touch zones and no-touch zones," Tomas said slowly, still feeling awkward about discussing such things with a woman (even if she was the one who taught him the lessons in the first place).  
Mai shook her head and took the pointer out of Tomas' hand. "He won't need to learn that here. Which leads me to an important lesson that I didn't teach you either: dealing with overprotective fathers. Sit down next to Yagami, Tomas."  
The American twitched, annoyed at having his presentation hijacked, but did as he was told.  
"All right, we're going to spin the basic violent parent model a little bit to reflect the actual situation we have here," Mai explained. "Yagami, when you get here at the appropriate time, you'll be waiting about fifteen minutes before Min is ready to go."  
Before she could continue, Ranma raised his hand. "Why? She set the time. Why wouldn't she be ready to go?"  
"You're never going to get an answer to that question, so I suggest you stop asking," Mai said flippantly to the two sweatdropping teens. "Anyway, before Min is ready, her father Andy is going to take you aside for a little 'talk'. How do you plan to handle that? Keeping in mind that Andy is a world-class martial artist very nervous about his daughter's welfare who has had some very bad encounters with your father in the past."  
Ranma scratched his head. "Uh... maybe... invite him to have a friendly sparring match to show I'm a decent guy?"  
"..." Mai stared at Ranma expressionlessly.  
Tomas sighed. "Forgive him. He's pretty new at this."  
"Obviously," Mai said sharply, slapping the presentation pointer against her palm. "We have a lot of work to do..."  
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"At... at last... I made it..." a small figure mumbled as he staggered across the street, past the large sign that marked the district: Welcome to Nerima! Enjoy it while it's still standing  
The figure stopped for a moment, its eyes narrowing. Then it frowned deeply in concentration.  
"Heh... heh heh heh. Ha ha ha! I got you! I'd know that aura anywhere! Even in a place as large as this, you can't hide from me, Iori! Ha ha ha! I'm coming for you!"  
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Shampoo leaned against a tree as she tried to catch her breath, holding her chest with one hand while irritably picking sticks and leaves out of her long hair with the other.  
'Why the hell couldn't this woman have just lived in an apartment or something in the city? It's not like she's attached to tribal customs or nature or anything... could've taken a bus or a train...' A month ago, she would have been appalled at any warrior, no matter their background, who would complain about such a trifling hardship. As it was now, she seriously considered asking the one she sought if these rural areas had any local taxi service.  
True, a few hours previous she had been chiding her weakness and fretting over whether she had gone soft due to the luxuries of civilization... but a difficult and speedy hike through unpleasant terrain usually caused those who **had** gone soft to stop pondering and start whining.  
Steeling herself, the Amazon dusted herself off and put her discomfort aside. No matter what her troubles were, she was here to ask for help and training, and it would not do to present her teacher with a display of weakness. The manner of a warrior apprentice toward her master was one thing that had been pounded (physically!) into her head very well, and no amount of spoiling would ever let her forget those lessons.

Walking upright and facing forward, Shampoo strode through the small farmlands purposefully, the perfect image of a youth marching onward toward her destiny.  
Of course, young Chinese warriors meeting their fate was fairly uncommon in backwater Japanese villas, so the purple-tressed girl drew quite a bit of attention, as farmhands and herders in the surrounding low-lying hills all turned to stare at the strange foreign woman in the exotic-looking dress.  
One by one, they all turned away once again, allowing themselves to fall back to their day-to-day drudgery. Some were more curious about the Chinese girl, and contemplated asking her what she was doing here, but after some thought, they too decided that there was only one likely destination. Shampoo was forgotten mere minutes after having appeared.

Walking along the dirt and rock path that passed for a road in this part of the country, Shampoo considered the directions she had memorized, and then searched for a mess of rocks on the edge of the fields.  
Continuing her search through the large, but sparsely populated village, the Amazon eventually noticed a path that had been made through a field of particularly tall grass. Beyond the path lay the cleft of two hills, and likely a small valley she couldn't see.  
Acting on a hunch, Shampoo departed the road and took to the path, noting that it had been created entirely from townsfolk walking through the field to whatever lay beyond, rather than having been deliberately cut or packed to create a walkway.  
'Shau Wa... the lost huntress...' Shampoo thought to herself as she tried to peek over the high grass to see what lay beyond. 'Once the tribe's most promising student and finest aspiring warrior... you ended up following a man to Japan after you lost a battle against him... despite the outcome clearly being a fluke... and despite the encounter clearly not being a battle.' The purple-haired girl marveled a bit at the parallels between her and the woman she had traveled here to meet. Granted, Shampoo's loss against Ranma in his berserk state had been granted one of the very few reprieves from Amazonian law in Joketsuzoku history (she was guaranteed to be remembered for that, at least. Or maybe not, considering Ranma had also savaged roughly sixty other warriors), but to end up in Japan following a man to his homeland, rather than end up dragging him back to her own... well, it was a pretty romantic coincidence, and Shampoo thought it would have made a damn decent TV drama.  
Of course, the story of Shau Wa was **actually** told to Amazonian trainees to remind them that a single moment of relaxed guard can end one's life... even if you don't actually die. To the young Amazon warrior trained in the ways of the tribe, it was easy to imagine that a warrior's life was practically wasted when she lost to a weakling on a fluke and then ended up being dragged to Japan, never to return to her family and fellow warriors.  
No honor. No battle. No warrior's death or combat tournaments or war with raiding Musk. Not even a life of relative dignity serving the tribe as a disgraced champion, taking care of menial tasks while birthing new Amazons for the tribe. Just a boring, meaningless existence carved out of some pitiful plot of dirt in Japan, bearing a weak man's daughters without any hope for them becoming fine warriors.  
Shampoo smirked wryly. She remembered distinctively that when she had first heard the story, she had made a childish comment to the effect of Shau Wa's fate being "worse than death".  
The huntress's story ended in rumor. It was pretty much assumed, and apparently true, that she had stayed in Japan and hadn't bothered or been able to make it back to the tribe. But nobody knew what had happened to her besides that. Her family had not tried to contact her, despite there being a great possibility that she had borne children since her exodus, and while her teachers lamented the loss of such a great warrior, and the supposed secrets of the **Hiryu Shoten Ha** that Shau Wa had uncovered, no effort had been made to reclaim her, or recover the skills she had taken with her into a foreign land. Oh, sure, as an Amazon who held no rank in the elder council, she was forbidden to speak to outsiders of the tribe's secrets (a rule that Shampoo herself had already firmly broken), but it was said that the lost huntress knew of a power that rivaled anything in the Amazons already-formidable arsenal of special techniques.  
'Well, that's what I'm here to find out,' Shampoo thought to herself as she left the path and emerged before a mound of sharp, jagged rocks piled on the lip of a quarry.  
Feeling a bit of nervousness overcome her, Shampoo noticed a single figure sitting on top of a large boulder. She was an old woman, obviously, although to someone who had grown up under Cologne's tutalege, the signs of age that lined the woman's face didn't even remotely diminish the image of strength and confidence that surrounded her. Of course, Shau Wa should have been only around sixty years judging by the tales, and as such hadn't been subjected to the intense shrinking and body-mangling effects that an extended lifespan had upon a person. She was still tall, and in fact had a few inches on Shampoo herself. In addition, her age didn't seem to have affected her muscle mass, as her skin had not shriveled and her arms and legs were still relatively thick. Her hair was completely gray, although the way the evening sun glimmered against it seemed to hint at a very bright color in youth.  
The old Chinese woman didn't bother to acknowledge the newcomer, but continued to stare into the quarry with a stony expression and smoke on a long pipe. After a few moments, Shampoo realized that her careful observation of the old Amazon could be interpreted as staring, and in turn be considered rude. Judging that the old huntress must have noticed her by now, Shampoo bowed her head and fell to one knee, planting one fist into the ground while placing the other on her raised knee.  
"Warrior Shau Wa! My name is Shan Pu of the Joketsuzoku Amazons! I humbly request your guidance in my martial arts training!" Shampoo said loudly in Chinese. She dearly hoped that the woman before her was still in practice as a warrior. Quite frankly, her senses weren't able to get anything from the woman, other than the obvious fact that she wasn't very interested in talking to her.  
Nonetheless, the purple-haired Amazon had secured her prospective master's attention. Shower casually craned her neck around to see who was calling her. Once she saw Shampoo, her eyes narrowed.  
"Oh, great. Not **another** one."  
Shampoo sweatdropped. It didn't look like this was going to be as easy as she thought.  
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"I'm home!" Akane called out as she tugged her shoes off, laying them on the small tile area behind the front door.  
Behind her younger sister, Nabiki frowned as she closed the door behind them, immediately sensing something amiss. Nobody really knew why (and for that matter, very few people knew in the first place), but for some reason Nabiki had always been far more sensitive to danger and abnormal circumstances than Akane, despite her overall lack of martial arts training. Soun had always assumed it had to do with the basic martial arts training she had endured as a child before she quit serious practice, while Akane wrote it off as a type of "business sense" she had developed to detect circumstances of financial significance.  
Nobody had asked Ranma, or even knew that he had noticed, but he would have simply said it was because Akane was dense.  
"Daddy? Is everything okay?" Nabiki asked, noting that there was an extra set of extraordinarily tiny shoes lying on the floor. She also noticed that nobody had come to greet them, which indicated that Soun and even Kasumi were already occupied with something relatively serious.  
Finally, she noticed that there was a pair of panties lying on the floor next to the door to the kitchen. And it didn't belong to any of the three women in the household.  
Now, Nabiki was a sensible, modern girl. If her single father wanted to have a relationship or even a fling, it wasn't any of her business, and she wouldn't make a fuss. Blackmail, **maybe**. Fuss, no. But there was simply no way that the underwear on the floor was an indication of Soun's carnal affairs. Frankly, she just didn't give her old man that much credit. It was more likely to be the discarded article of Kasumi's secret lesbian lover, and - she didn't care **what** Akane claimed to see when she got up early to jog - Nabiki would assume a hundred alternative possibilities before she went there, either.  
"Dad? Hello?" Nabiki called out, cautiously moving past an obviously confused Akane. "Are you home?"  
A moment of silence ensued, and Akane glanced at her sister questioningly, wondering if she should get into "martial artist taking charge to protect her loved ones" mode.  
"Wait! No!" Soun's voice rang out suddenly from the guest room, and Akane and Nabiki both turned their heads in that direction. "Nabiki! Akane!"  
"What is-" Before Akane could finish that sentence, her eyes widened, seeing something burst through the door, rebound off the wall, and fly at her at high speed. "What the?"  
"Akane! NOOOOO!" Soun cried, stumbling through the doorway in a panic.

"Oh, how sweet it is!"  
Nabiki sweatdropped at the sight, marveling at how her normally bash-happy little sister simply stood there, stunned, as a tiny old man clamped onto her vulnerable chest, rubbing his cheeks against the twin flesh pillows liberally.  
"Akane! Oh no! Did she pass out!" Soun said nervously, wringing his hands. Why wasn't the girl moving to defend herself?  
Nabiki rolled her eyes. "Give her a sec, Daddy. You know how sensitive Akane's pervert detection is. I think our guest just blew out the meter, so to speak."  
Just as the middle daughter guessed, within moments Akane snapped back to reality, her hands clenching into fists as an aura of rage and hate manifested around her.  
"WHY... YOU... LITTLE... SLIMEBALL!" _CRASH!_  
Soun and Nabiki winced and covered their heads to keep the falling plaster out of their hair as the elderly midget burst through the roof and into the afternoon sky, taking a fair bit of the Tendo household with him (as it got lodged in his face on the way out).

As Akane took many deep breaths to try and control her unbound rage, Nabiki turned toward her father.  
"Okay Daddy. Spill. Who was that?"  
At that moment, Kasumi finally emerged from the kitchen, holding a tray of tea. "Oh my... I take it grandfather Happousai just left?" She looked over at Akane as her aura slowly faded, and then up at the ceiling. "Oh, good. You hit him through one of the fixed holes Ranma-kun made when he was here. That should make the repairs easier."  
Nabiki raised an eyebrow at Soun. "Happousai, huh?"  
"In the flesh," Happousai said, calmly taking out a wooden pipe as he sat down behind Akane.  
"YAAAAAAAAH!" Everyone but Kasumi jumped in surprise at Happousai's sudden reappearance, and Akane whirled on him.  
"Hey! Who do you think you are, molesting me like that! Maybe I didn't hit you hard enough!" The youngest Tendo growled, clenching one hand into a fist.  
Nabiki sweatdropped. "If he got back THAT quick, yeah, you probably didn't hit him hard enough." Heck, the old man didn't even have any apparent injury from the debacle, though bits of spackle had ended up clinging to his brown gi.  
Happousai just smiled. "Now, now! Just think of it as a friendly greeting from me to you!"  
A vein popped up on Akane's head. "Oh? Well here's a 'friendly greeting' for you!" With that said, Akane rushed forward and attempted to punt the lecher forward.  
To her surprise, the tiny old man didn't take the hit this time, but instead jumped up past her leg and used her head as a springboard, hopping away to land next to Soun. Happousai was surprisingly heavy for his apparent size, and Akane quickly found herself unbalanced, and fell backwards into a heap.  
Soun winced as Akane fell, and began to sweat as Happousai shook his head at him.  
"Soun, Soun, Soun. What a disappointment you are. After all this time, this is all you've managed to do with your life?" He gestured toward the backyard. "A dojo with no students," he gestured toward Soun, "a master with no heir," and then he gestured toward the Tendo sisters, "and a family with no martial artists? Are you TRYING to live your life a failure? Have you no ambition? No pride?"  
"Hey! Leave him alone!" Akane growled, getting up and shaking a fist at the old lecher angrily. "And I'll have you know that I'm a martial artist! AND the Tendo heir!"  
Happousai raised an eyebrow, and took a good, long look at Akane. Then he turned back to Soun. "Well? What do you have to say for yourself?"  
Soun winced. "I... I'm sorry..."  
_Thud!_ Akane facefaulted at her father's apology.  
"Okay, okay, that's enough," Nabiki chided. "Now what is your relationship with Daddy, anyway? We still don't know who you are."  
Happousai smirked. "Why, I'm this fool's martial arts master, that's all!"  
Nabiki and Akane looked startled as Soun nodded despondently. Kasumi didn't react, as she had already met the man and gotten the story.  
"Wait, so this is that 'Master' that you always talk about in whispers and hushed tones?" Nabiki muttered disbelievingly, pointing at the wrinkled old dwarf. "Never mind you never told any of us his name. Isn't he supposed to be the grandmaster of the school?"  
Soun sniffled miserably. "I was afraid that Sniffle! if I said his name, he would appear..."  
"But why has he come?" Akane asked irritably, "And how can we get him to leave?"  
Happousai smirked, and got up as he took a drag on his pipe. "Why, I've just come to check up on my old students, and see what's become of them after they... 'completed' their training under me. In fact, I've already finished checking up on that fat fool, Genma."  
Soun perked up upon hearing this. "Saotome? Why, I haven't seen him in ages!"  
"And you never will ever again, if his fellow dock workers don't find him and pull him out of the harbor soon," the old lecher said scornfully, missing Soun's horrified expression. "At least you managed to find yourself a wife and build a failed dojo; that lazy twit was just wasting away his days doing menial labor! I tell you, kids these days! You waste your life learning the art, and then you end up hauling crates until you die! Pfeh!"  
Then he narrowed his eyes at Soun, and the long-haired man began to sweat profusely. "Now... as for you, Soun..."  
The Tendo patriarch's life began to flash before his eyes, causing a sudden, simultaneous downpour of tears (as much from the mental confirmation of Happousai's accusations as from fear). "M-Master... please... I-I beg of y-you..."  
"Congrats, Tendo!" Happousai said, bouncing onto Soun's shoulder so he could slap the man on the back. "I approve!"  
Soun blinked. "Wh... What?"  
"I mean, sure, you're a pathetic excuse for a human being, an utter failure of a man, a much worse failure of a martial artist, and ultimately worthless yourself..."  
The Tendo daughters, while they disagreed significantly with this assessment, all just sweatdropped and held their peace, not wanting to interrupt whatever actual praise Happousai was going to give.  
"... But you produced three VERY attractive daughters! So at the very least, we can say the world is a better place for your being here!"  
"Go team," Nabiki mumbled sarcastically.  
"Thank you! Thank you Master!" Soun cried happily, bowing down repeatedly after Happousai leapt off his shoulder.  
Akane massaged her head; part of her mind couldn't believe her father was acting this way. The rest of her mind was wondering just who the hell that first part thought it was fooling. "Okay, fine. Are you done here, or what?"  
Happousai nodded. "Yup! I just have one last errand to run, and then I can finally select an heir, and prepare for my retirement!"  
Soun blinked. "One last... errand?" Then he gasped. "Of course! Yagami!"  
Nabiki snapped to attention. "Oh, yeah! Mister Yagami must have trained under you too, right?"  
Happousai grinned. "That's right... Mmmm, I can't wait to see what my most... 'willful' student has made of himself."  
Nabiki grimaced. "Oh yeah. Him and Ranma are gonna get along REAL well."  
"Hmph. As long as they stay away from here, let the perverts do what they want," Akane groused, mistaking Nabiki's sarcasm for a straight statement.  
Happousai didn't know what all the talk of this "Ranma" person was about, but his work here was done. As such, there was only one more thing keeping him here...  
He turned toward Akane. "Well, I'm leaving now! Give Grandpa Happousai a big hug goodbye!" _Glomp!_  
'Chernobyl, eat your heart out,' Nabiki thought, stepping back from Akane along with the rest of her family as the local air temperature rose a good sixty degrees.  
"**DIE, PERVERT**!" _WHAM!_

Nabiki sweatdropped as Akane stood in the middle of the dining room, clutching her chest as she tried to control her breathing once more.  
"Oh, good. You hit him through the same hole," Kasumi said happily. She didn't know if Akane had done it on purpose, but it was nice to think that her younger sister was at least learning how to cut down on collateral damage when she vented her feminine wrath.  
"Well, THAT was a big, fat waste of time," Nabiki mumbled, turning toward the stairs and making her way to her room. "I'm gonna go get changed."  
"That dirty, filthy little rodent," Akane murmured darkly, her hands twitching as if she was imagining choking something. "I hope that jerk Ranma fries him to a cinder!"  
"Oh dear, what's this?" Soun and Akane both turned as they heard Kasumi speak, and blinked as they beheld a pair of light blue panties being picked up off the floor. "Akane, did you or Nabiki buy new panties?"  
Akane frowned. "No... I didn't... actually, those are too big to be any of ours. I wonder what they're doing here?"  
Very slowly, both girls turned their heads to look at Soun, whose hair suddenly stuck straight out in shock. "D-Don't look at ME! **I** don't know what they're doing here!"  
The appearance of the panties posed a mystery that would haunt the girls for hours on end into the night... especially after Nabiki revealed another domestic calamity.  
"Hey! What happened to all my underwear!"  
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Ranma shook his head as he slowly walked back home, his hands in his pockets.  
The last four hours had been... educational. And not in the "I passed a test and now my future is secure!" way.  
He felt as if he was entering another reality. A reality that took everything that he knew about people, the world, and what was right and good, put it all into jar, shook the jar like mad, and then threw the jar away, which seemed kind of insulting after the reality took the time to shake up his thoughts first.  
And the worst part was: after all the time Tomas and then Mai had spent chiding him and talking down to him and lecturing on topics too foreign to him to comprehend, he didn't think he had learned anything at all. Sure, he knew what to do... mostly... but he didn't know why. Most of his lessons involved pounding conditioned responses into him, and forcing himself not to act like himself, which made him question the whole idea of the alleged "relationship" in the first place. Did girls really want to date puppets that said only what they wanted to hear?  
Tomas said yes. Of course, Ranma didn't think he was much of a modern-day Casanova, so he had his doubts. He was pretty sure that was Hashiru's call.  
Then again, Mai said yes as well. And her qualifications for knowing what women wanted really couldn't be more concrete.  
His experience was limited to his one date with Nabiki, which hadn't felt much like a date at all. It had been arranged via a business transaction, and Nabiki had held his hand through it the whole time. She seemed like she had enjoyed herself... but then, she was being PAID to be there, and she then used the situation to glean personal information to sell later. No, it was safe to say that his only dating experience was no good. Not to mention extremely discouraging.  
Ranma sighed. Really, this whole situation had him much more distressed than excited, and he was even contemplating just canceling the date and simply avoiding Min to evade retribution.  
'Really, do I even WANT Min for a girlfriend?'  
Ranma deemed this question significant enough for a long moment of drawn out, dramatic contemplation, and stopped in his tracks, holding his head down as he crossed his arms over his chest.  
'Well... what DO I think of her? She's... nice. Sometimes. Fun to be around, sure. She's a fighter. Not spectacular, but it's a plus. Pretty smart, too. Definitely not an airhead or nothin'. And she's... well, she's cute... oh hell, who am I kidding? She's a total babe.'  
Evaluation? It would be nice to have a girlfriend... at least, he assumed so, since it seemed to be what the vast majority of other guys his age were obsessed with. But dating Min seemed complicated enough that he'd rather keep her as a friend. Still, SHE wanted more than friendship, as evidenced by her making the first move on him.

So serious was the situation, and so deep in thought was Ranma, that his normally impeccable danger sense didn't pick up the quickly approaching sounds of rage and havoc until AFTER he felt a sudden weight fall on his head.  
"Hey! What the-?" Jerking his head up from where he had stumbled forward, Ranma caught sight of a tiny little man (at least, he assumed it was a man) in a brown gi running away along the fence that lined the sidewalk and separated it from the canal. He was also wearing a black bandanna around his head, and tied under his nose. But what caught the most attention was the large sack the dwarf was carrying, as it was stuffed to the point of bulging, such that it had twice the volume of its apparent owner.  
"What a haul! What a haul!" The little man cackled, jumping across the street at the next intersection to allow the chase to continue.  
Ranma frowned, unsure of what to make of what he just saw.  
Of course, at that point, a white, lacy bra floated down from the sky where it had been jarred loose from the rest of its kind, and landed right on Ranma's head.  
His frown deepening, the pigtailed boy plucked the item off his head, and held it in front of him to observe it, only partially aware that the recent rumbling sound had come to abrupt stop.  
"Well, this is DEFINITELY not a good sign."  
And then, realizing there was something behind him, Ranma turned around to see a crowd of forty plus schoolgirls, housewives, and female pedestrians gathered around him, every one of them brandishing some sort of common item or article as a weapon, and each burning with an aura of rage that screamed for the blood of perverts everywhere.  
Very slowly, a sweatdrop rolled down Ranma's head as he felt dozens of glares sink imaginary daggers into his heart. "Uhm... So! Who's interested in hearing a perfectly innocent explanation for this?" He asked pleasantly, pointing to the brassiere he held with his free hand.  
The mob declined to answer, instead descending upon him with a howl of indignant fury.  
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Shampoo tried not to let her nervousness show as she thought of the best way to answer her new teacher's question. Martial arts hermits were legendary for being extremely fickle about their students, so it was very likely that if the old woman before her saw something she didn't like, she'd send the young Amazon packing without so much as a critique of her skill.  
"You see Master Shau Wa, recently I-" Shampoo begin to speak in Chinese to the elder woman before being interrupted harshly.  
"Speak Japanese, girl. We're in Japan now. Besides, my Mandarin is rusty," the tired old woman snapped. "And as long as you're speaking Japanese, call me Shower, like everyone else."  
Shampoo winced at that. She had assumed that a relatively venerable Chinese Amazon would be horrified to have her name butchered by the Japanese language. Especially one with no apparent sense of humor. So much for good first impressions.  
"Master... Shower. Recently, criminal and outcast from tribe come challenge Shampoo, and use curse to use power of demon. He... he beat Shampoo, but friend come and help defeat him."  
Shower rose an eyebrow at the younger Amazon. Not because of the story, but because of her Japanese. 'Then again, she probably hasn't been speaking it for more than a few months. And it **is** passable...' "This criminal, he wouldn't happen to go by the name of Mousse, would he?"  
Shampoo blinked. "Y-Yes... How you know Mousse?"  
The older woman snorted. "Some buffoon from the village walked through here about a week ago and asked me to train him so that he could win the heart of his beloved."  
"And you refuse?" Shampoo asked, though it was a rhetorical question. Mousse hadn't shown her any new tricks other than his curse when they fought, and surely a martial arts master as wise and intelligent as Shower must have sensed the hatred in him, or divined his dark intentions.  
"Of course I refused him," Shower said matter-of-factly. "I don't train men."  
Shampoo sweatdropped. 'Well, we all have our own standards...'  
"And frankly, I don't want to train you, either. Why are teenage Amazons suddenly popping up out of the woodwork looking for training? Was there an exodus from the village or something? YOU'RE not an exile too, are you?"  
Shampoo winced some more at the old woman's words. This was not what she'd expected the legendary outcast to be like. These masters were supposed to be mysterious and aloof, or mellow and a bit dirty-minded (though often the second parameter was taken to extremes), or at the least relentlessly strict and vicious, with an underlying soft heart. Grouchy and cold was not an attitude she was prepared to deal with.  
"Shampoo not outcast! Shampoo come to Japan visit friend!"  
Shower narrowed her eyes. "If you're here on vacation, then there's no reason to take up grueling new training. And if you're Cologne's great-grandaughter, there's no reason to come all the way here to get access to the tribe's best techniques."  
Shampoo frowned, but said nothing.  
Shower remained silent for a moment, then continued. "Why are you here, girl? Why are you in Japan? And why do you want ME to train you?"  
The younger Amazon, feeling quite annoyed at this point but still mindful of the respect Shower deserved as a superior, responded hastily. "Shampoo in Japan to visit friend, like said. Shower know techniques that Shampoo's birthright. And basic fighting style is same. Shampoo learn much from teachers in village, but not plan go back to village for long time." Keeping a neutral expression on her face, Shampoo awaiting the older woman's response.  
Shower raised an eyebrow. "So... You need a quick power boost to keep pace around here, and I just happened to be the best teacher for your fighting style within a convenient distance?"  
A sweatdrop rolled down Shampoo's head. Soon it was followed by several others. When she put it like that...  
Then the old woman nodded. "Sensible girl, aren't you? I like that."  
The purple-haired girl blinked.  
"You seem confused," the elderly woman drawled. "I'll be blunt, Shampoo. I'm not much for intrepid young heroes on life-changing quests for wisdom and strength, or noble, honorable souls that wish to perfect their art. Nor do I put up with selfish morons who want a shortcut to power. You seem like you have a decent head on your shoulders, and you don't seem like the sort who'd leave me alone right away if I refused, so I **suppose** I can give it shot. I owe that withered old grandmother of yours a favor, anyway." Shower got up, and then turned away from her bewildered new student.  
"Tomorrow we'll get to know each other a little better, and I'll assess your talent. I have no time for dunces or weaklings, you know."  
Shampoo bowed deeply, extremely grateful for the woman's apparent approval. "Thank you, Master Shower! Shampoo not fail!"  
"Yeah, yeah, whatever," said dismissively, causing Shampoo's expression to fall, "cut out the 'can-do, never-give-up' attitude, all right? I can't stand that nonsense. If you succeed, great. If you fail, get over it and get out."  
Shampoo twitched slightly. "Uhm... yes... Shampoo sorry..."  
"Guest room is on your right. Bathroom is down the hall. Night." Without another word, the legendary failure of an Amazon turned away and went to her room for the night, leaving her severely disillusioned pupil still squatting in the middle of the living room floor.  
After several moments, the purple-haired girl shook her head. 'Is she cold, or is it just me? This might be more frustrating than it is difficult.'  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Oof... geez... I... I can't believe I managed to get away..." Ranma mumbled weakly to himself as he staggered home slowly, using a broken broomstick (painfully removed from where it had been lodged in his head) to help support himself.  
"Man, women can be pretty tenacious..." Of course, Ranma had lived in the Tendo dojo, and had shared a residence with Akane, so he had already experienced irrational feminine wrath to the very greatest extreme.  
"Still... I wonder what that little old man was doing..." Ranma suspected the retreating figure had something to do with the bra that landed on his head, but had no idea what a little man would do with women's underwear, and the women who has assaulted him hadn't bothered to give any explanations.  
"Oh well. Here I am." Stretching, and then wincing, Ranma tossed his walking stick away and straightened up, unwilling to let any signs of weakness or injury show before his family. 'I'm sure as hell not going to try to explain that I was beaten up by a bunch of women off the street for being a pervert.'  
Still working the kinks out of his back and massaging his bruises, Ranma moved onto the front yard, and made a beeline for the front door. "Ah... home sweet ho-"  
_KA-BLAAAAM!_  
Shouting in surprise as a fiery shock wave blasted him off his feet, Ranma was blown back onto the lawn of the Yagami residence, landing face-first on the grass.

"Ugh... not my day. Not my day at all." Then the pigtailed boy blinked. "Wait. The shock wave. **Purple** flame? Yurumi!" Ranma whirled around, afraid to see that his entire household had been vaporized by his younger sister's poorly controlled powers.  
He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that only the front door looked like it had been struck by the fire blast. 'That was a directed blast... Yurumi doesn't have that kind of control. Pop?'

_Cough! Cough!_ "Why, you ingrate!"  
Ranma looked over, wide-eyed, as a tiny blackened... thing got up from where it had been blasted onto the lawn next to him.  
"I come all this way to check on you, and even have the kindness to forgive you for what you did to me, and this is the thanks I get? Your impudence is starting to get on my nerves, Iori!"  
Ranma slowly turned from the soot-covered figure to look back at the house. His father stood in the doorway, a gloomy violet aura surrounding him.  
The pigtailed boy gulped. In all his life, Ranma had never really seen Iori when he was mad. It just didn't happen. The man had resorted to violence and savagely beaten people plenty of times before in Ranma's presence, but the crimson-haired man had always possessed the same stony look of disgust and disdain on his face.  
But now... for the first time he was seeing the true face of a demon uncaged. Iori's teeth were clenched tight as he fixed the burnt figure on the lawn with a narrow, hateful glare. Not a glare that spoke of a desire or intent to harm, but rather a gaze that spoke of personal suffering, indignation, and humiliation that needed to be avenged.  
"P-Pop?" Ranma stuttered out nervously. "Hey... wh-what's going on here?"  
Iori spared Ranma a glance, but then immediately refocused his attention on Happousai, making a mental note to apologize to Ranma later for blasting him along with his old master. "This is your FINAL WARNING. Leave now. If I **ever** see you again, I'll rip you apart!"  
"Tch! You're the same as ever, I see. One would think the family life'd mellow you out a little!" Ignoring the strange boy gaping at him a few feet away, Happousai shook himself to get rid of the ash that had covered him.  
Ranma jerked back upon getting a good look at the tiny figure. It was the same old man from before; about two feet tall from head to toe, and mostly bald with a band of white hair above the ears and behind his head. The only other hair on him was a tiny mustache.  
"Hey! You're that guy who jumped on my head before!"  
Both Iori and Happousai turned to face Ranma.  
"Eh? Stay outta this kid, you could get hurt," Happousai advised, producing a pipe and popping it into the corner of his mouth. Then he faced Iori once again. "I don't see what your problem is, Yagami. I mean, come on, you've actually done pretty good for yourself! Nice wife, two kids, a good job. 'Course, you're not making any progress on advancing or teaching your art, but hey, at least you're not a **complete** failure!"  
Iori's expression didn't flinch. "Leave. NOW."  
Happousai just smirked and stuck his tongue out at the redhead. "Ha! And what're you gonna do about it if I don't?"  
At that moment, the elderly master sensed a sudden burst of power next to him, and Happousai's eyes bugged out as he saw Ranma's aura appear in a blossom of purple hellfire.  
"Not making much progress in handing down the art, huh? Let me show you exactly how much progress he's made!" Ranma said, twitching. He didn't know who this resilient little geezer was, but it was obvious that he wasn't wanted here, and the old man had insulted him as Iori's student. Added to the fact that he hadn't been having the best of days, Ranma decided that this new distraction would be a perfect chance to vent some heat.

"Mom, Ranma's back!" Yurumi said excitedly, pointing out the window in the kitchen as her brother lit up like a purple airplane beacon. "I think he's going to fight that little wrinkled man with Dad!"  
The redheaded girl blinked as Nodoka suddenly grabbed her arm, and pulled her away from the window. "Stay away from the window, Yurumi. It isn't safe."  
"But Mo-om!" Yurumi whined, "I want to see the fight!"  
"No!" Nodoka said sternly, "You get too close to fights as it is hanging around your brother! Now go to your room and stay there! It's dangerous!"

Happousai began to sweat as he looked back and forth between the large, redheaded man and the young pigtailed boy, both of whom burned with a dark energy that made his skin crawl.  
This was not good. He had been fairly certain that he could beat Iori if it came down to a serious battle between them, but he could tell at a glance that the young one was strong enough to be troublesome as well, even without considering that he apparently also commanded the Yagami flames. There was no way he could take both of them; he knew Iori's fighting style well enough. It would only take one good opening, of which there would be plenty of in a two-on-one fight, for Iori to thrash him completely, and he really wasn't sure if his old student would stop before he was dead.  
"Ah... so! Y-You must Iori's son!" Happousai said, trying to mask his nervousness as he planted his fists on his hips and faced Ranma. "So, what's your name, boy?"  
"I'm Ranma," he growled, letting a fireball light up in his right hand. "Who are you?"  
"The name's Happousai, m'boy!" Happousai said heartily, slowly inching to the side around Ranma to try and get the younger Yagami between him and the older one. "I must say, I'm surprised! I didn't think Iori had it in him to teach an heir! Well then, as his master, and the Grandmaster of the Anything-Goes School of Martial Arts, I'll have to judge your skill, boy! Gotta make sure my students are living up to their potential!"  
"No," Iori's voice interrupted Ranma's hot-headed acceptance. "Stay away from my home, and away from my family."  
Happousai glared at the larger man. "What's the matter with you! I'm a busy man, you know! Here I take the time to come all the way to Tokyo to find you, and this is how you greet me? Is this any way to treat your master?"  
"Hey! Geezer!" Ranma shouted, mindful of his father's decision toward the fight, but not willing to let the tiny old man go without punishment. "You heard the man! You're not wanted here! **Gouka dan**!" With that, Ranma snapped off a large, rolling fireball that writhed violently as it tore through the dirt toward Happousai, leaving a large, burnt gouge in the Earth behind it.  
Happousai snorted as he hopped out of the way of the fireball easily, noting that it moved far slower than Iori's blasts. "Ha! Don't think you can bully me around, kiddo!" The fireball rumbled past him, and the old lecher smirked. "If it's a fight you want, then... hey... why are you smiling like that?"  
_KWA-BOOOOM!_

Yurumi blinked as there was a huge flash of purple that bled through the blinds of her bedroom window (despite it not being at an angle to view the battle outside), followed by a sudden tremor that caused her things on her shelves to bounce and shift slightly.  
The young redhead pouted. "Aw... I wanted to watch the fight too..."

"YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THe last of meeeeeeeee-e-e-e-e..." Happousai's voice faded into the distance along with his soot-covered body, trailing smoke into the afternoon sky.  
Iori watched his old master's ascent into the air, and then stared at the large, smoking crater in the middle of the front yard. 'Hmm. That technique again. Impressive, but... wasteful.' He didn't offer this criticism to Ranma, as the boy actually took some pride in the sheer destructive power he commanded. And besides that, such excessive and inefficient displays were good for intimidation; Ranma didn't have his father's knack for causing cold dread, so he needed some other way to make idiots like Happousai think twice about starting trouble.  
"Good job," the redhead finally said to his son. "Sorry about the blast at the front door."  
Ranma sweatdropped and chuckled a bit. "Eh heh... No problem. Stuff happens, right?" Even Ranma, used as he was to Iori's lack of expression, was hard pressed to accept the apology as genuine. Iori just had a strange way of talking about things like blowing up a front door in his son's face with the force of a plastique, as if the whole incident was trivial at worst. "But... seriously, was that weirdo really your master?"  
Iori snorted. "Yes. He was. It's a long story." Then he turned around and gestured to Ranma as he entered the house. "Come in. And see if you can find something to close off the doorway."  
Ranma sweatdropped again, glancing at the chunks of burnt wood and charred splinters that used to be the front door. "Uhm, yeah. Sure, Pop."

End Chapter 13 


	14. Date With Disaster

Tomas Bogard's Tips for Dating (Part One):

Rule #1: Preparation is mildly important. Make sure you look decent for your date, but don't spend time fussing over details.

Ranma smiled and admired the reflection in the mirror, looking carefully for any blemishes.  
"Okay. Hair's combed. Dressed in clean clothes. Bathed, deodorized, styled. I'm all set!"  
Then Ranma frowned, staring in the mirror as she ran a hand through her bright red hair.  
"I can't help but get the feeling I'm forgetting about something... eh, whatever."

Rule #2: If you're on time, then she'll be late. There's no avoiding it. Rather than getting upset, learn to predict how long she'll be, and bring a suitable distraction.

Min descended the stairs to her living room, grinning widely as she predicted the look on Ranma's face when he saw her.  
"Ranma? Sorry to keep you waiting! I'm... uh..." Min sweatdropped as she approached the front door, seeing Ranma leaning against the door jam while playing a Game Boy DS.  
"Huh? Oh. You're ready. Hold on," Ranma mumbled, taking no attention away from the game of Mario Kart.  
Min twitched. "Uh... Ranma? Are you ready to-"  
"Not now!" Ranma said sharply, focusing more intently on the game. "If you can spend fifteen minutes putting on makeup after the time **you** set, then I can spend ten seconds finishing Rainbow Road! Almost... got... it... just... DEAR GOD! BLUE SHELL! BLUE SHELL! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"  
More sweatdrops collected on Min's head. "... Why are you a girl?"

Rule #3: Having your own car is expensive, and you shouldn't feel bad if you have to present your date with alternative forms of transportation. Just make sure that whatever it is, it's fast, economical, and safe.

Ranma tossed aside the brass kettle as he returned to his proper gender, and smiled as the wind whipped through his wet hair, creating an icy contrast to his warm skin that refreshed his whole body.  
"You know," Min shouted, trying to be heard over the din of traffic and the truck engine rumbling beneath them, "if you're that short on cash, I can spring for a cab!"  
Ranma shrugged and laid back on the top of the trailer roof, being quite used the sound of rumbling engines all around him. "Nah, it's all right. This is just as fast, and it's free. Though I wish they'd wash the tops of these things more often..."  
A vein popped up on Min's head. "It's all right. Really. On the way back, we're taking a ta-"  
"Duck," Ranma said suddenly.  
"What? Whe-" _Wham!_  
Ranma winced as the low bridge passed over him only a bare foot above, and turned his head to watch as his date's comatose body grew smaller in the distance. "Guess I forgot to tell her it's best to lie down on these things," he mumbled to himself. "Hmph. You'd think a Ninja would have seen that coming."

Rule #4: Girls usually want to be taken to places that value atmosphere over economy; if you really want to wow your date, be prepared to spend a lot on the food without getting your money's worth. Those of you who are more patient, more stubborn, or who just don't like her that much can opt for less expensive alternatives, but remember that fast food is still a no-no.

"Uhhn..." Min mumbled dizzily as she came to, and as her eyes fluttered open, Ranma's face slowly materialized above her. "Wha... Wha' ha'ened?"  
"Aw, ya just took a little spill, that's all," Ranma frowned at the young woman he held in his arms. "Are you out of practice or something? I've never seen a martial artist get knocked out by an inanimate structure before."  
Min shook her head, trying to rid herself of the loud ringing sensation in her skull. "Grgh... uhn... What? What are you talking about?"  
"Nothin'. Anyway, hope you're hungry!" Ranma grinned and gently put her down.  
'Well, at least we're here,' Min thought as she massaged her aching head. After regaining her footing, she finally looked up to see where they were going to be eating that evening.  
"... Why're we at your house?" Min asked pitifully, her skull still throbbing.  
Ranma rubbed the back of his head. "Well, y'know, I didn't really think about it before, but I remembered earlier today that tonight is sukiyaki night. And I didn't want to miss that, so I figured, 'Hey, why go scrounge up money so that I can eat somewhere where they're NOT serving Mom's sukiyaki?' Didn't make any sense, y'know? C'mon in! She makes it with shrimp!"  
_Thud!_  
"Huh? Min? You okay? Hellooooo! Wake up, sleepyhead!"

In case any of you were wondering, the above is merely the omake, and not to be considered part of the storyline.  
To be continued...

Yagami 1/2  
A Ranma 0.5/King of Fighters Crossover  
by Black All information about dating, romance, relationships, and so forth was acquired from third-party sources, primarily prime time television and cartoons. Any similarity to actual dates and romantic discourse is entirely coincidental. And frankly, quite frightening.

Notes: _Sounds_, **Emphasis or techniques**, Written words, 'Thoughts', "Dialogue", "Dialogue in a different language"

Chapter 14  
Date With Disaster

"Hai yah!" _Tunk!_  
Bits of wood flew in all directions as Shampoo landed a hand chop directly atop the upraised length of wood, causing the log to split cleanly down the middle and topple over, collecting at Shampoo's feet along with dozens of others.  
The violet-haired girl smirked and dusted off her hands, which were dirty and bruised from an hour's hard exertion. Pieces of wood surrounded her in great piles, each one having been broken cleanly in the middle.  
After taking a moment to stretch, Shampoo leaned over and collected all the pieces of chopped firewood, placing them in a carefully arranged pile behind her among all the other ones.  
Once she was finished with that, she turned once more toward the forest, and scanned the area for another suitable tree to knock down.  
"Shampoo? Are you still... uh..." Shower's question died on her lips as she emerged from the forest path behind her home, and she stared.  
"Master Shower!" Shampoo immediately bowed low, making sure that her manner approximated Japanese customs as best as she could manage.  
Shower gazed upon the mountains of firewood, and her left eyebrow twitched. "Shampoo... what is this? I told you to gather some firewood for tonight."  
Shampoo nodded. "Yes, Master! Shampoo do that! Carry back to house now?"  
Shower twitched again. "Shampoo... we're not hosting a bonfire party tonight. There's enough wood here for three seasons. It's too much. You could deforest this whole area at this rate." She frowned as she noticed the many splintered stumps that had been trees the last time she was here. "Did you actually cut down more trees? How did you do all this, anyway? My axe is still in the back, where I told you it was. That's actually why I came to check on you..."  
"No need axe," the teenage Amazon said proudly, "Great-Grandmother teach techniques for knock down tree and split wood with hand very early!"  
A vein popped up on Shower's head, much to Shampoo's surprise. "Shampoo. We have AXES to cut wood. They are tools designed to make the work easier so that you don't have to do idiotic things like split logs with your bare fists."  
Shampoo winced badly. She didn't really understand what she had done wrong, but it was a very bad sign when your prospective master described your activities as "idiotic". "Well... it good training... and that what Shampoo come to do, so-"  
"Yes, yes, whatever," Shower sighed, then gestured to one of the smaller wood piles. "Very well. Take that mound back to the house, and then meet me in the dojo."  
Shampoo nodded wordlessly and went to work as quick as she could, though she slowed slightly when she saw that her master was shaking her head sadly as she walked back home.

The violet-haired girl was wracked with worry as she packed as much wood as she could into a single armload. What had she done wrong? In training, she was always taught that the only excess was when one risked fatal or permanent injury to train for a technique, and even then, many of the Amazonian techniques wandered easily into the "permanent injury" range. She had heard plenty of tales of warriors who tried to undertake the breaking point training too soon, and had their bones pulverized far beyond what the village healer could repair. And people had lost their hands to the chestnut fist training, she was sure.  
Just what was it that Shower wanted from her? She had stressed that using the axe instead of her hands was the simple and intelligent thing to do, but Shampoo had always been taught that making any task more difficult and physically draining was a good training exercise. Sense and simplicity had never been part of martial arts training before; why did it mean anything to Shower?  
She let out a sigh as she dumped her load of wood on the iron rack that laid right outside the main cottage that Shower called home. 'Well, whatever she's looking for, I hope she finds it. I don't know what I'm going to do otherwise...'  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So," Shower mumbled as she nursed the cup of tea in her hands. "Let's review how the day has gone so far, shall we?"  
Shampoo sat across from her in the middle of the dojo, looking worried, but dignified.  
"Today you got an hour before dawn, from what you told me, and performed kata and basic exercises until seven o'clock, when I, and for that matter every other sensible human being in this time zone, woke up to start our day."  
Shampoo winced. Why did she have to make such a reasonable matter of personal preference sound so foolish? She hadn't even gotten up that early because of her training; waking up at or before dawn was something she always did, except when she spent the night with Ranma in cat form.  
"I asked you to make me some fried eggs for breakfast," Shower continued, "and you cooked a four-course meal that I ended up having to share with my neighbors so all the food wouldn't go to waste."  
"Eggs was second course," Shampoo noted in her defense, "and meal was very good! Shampoo very good cook, no?"  
"Yes, fine," the old master said dismissively. "I asked you to help a friend of mine in town with a party she was hosting at her inn. You ended up taking a part-time job at that same inn after you were done."  
Shampoo gulped. "Shampoo sorry! Should know that job take away time what for training! Uh... or is it you want Shampoo get full-time job?"  
"Shut up," Shower deadpanned. "I asked you to catch and butcher an animal for me to cook for lunch and dinner, since you might have depopulated the entire forest if I asked YOU to cook another meal. You ended up providing me with a dozen flank steaks, a fur coat, twin daggers made of animal bone, and a tooth necklace that used sinew as string."  
Shampoo blushed slightly, but didn't speak against her master's wishes.  
"I asked you to chop some wood for tonight, and you smash down two dozen trees and split it all into firewood with your bare hands. In an HOUR."  
Again, Shampoo fought the urge to speak, as she had technically only knocked down twenty trees, not twenty-four (she thought it might be a worthwhile correction, since Shower didn't seem to be impressed by her efficiency).  
"Finally, when you met me here I asked you to make some tea before we sat down and had this little chat. You went out and located some plants you noticed in the forest, quick-dried them somehow, and then crushed them with herbs I had lying around in the kitchen to make the tea. Why? You took a damn long time, too."  
"Sh-Shampoo sorry, but no could find tea in kitchen," the Amazon stuttered.  
Shower frowned. "You didn't see the cans of green tea in the fridge? It's all mixed and everything. You just take one out and pop it open. I had two of them while you were busy picking plants."  
A sweatdrop slowly rolled down Shampoo's head. "They make tea what come in can? Is gross." 'I can't believe it. She has to be almost four times as old as I am, and **I'm** the old-fashioned one?'  
Shower sighed deeply. "Shampoo, I don't believe that you normally do things to this level of excess. So why are you doing these things?"  
Shampoo fidgeted slightly; she was very confused about the nature of Shower's criticism, and it was making her nervous. "Shampoo taught always work hardest when train. And hope impress Master Shower with strength."  
"Yes. I figured as much," Shower mumbled, massaging her head. "Shampoo, I didn't give you those tasks to test you. I gave them to you because they're tiring and tedious and I didn't want to do them myself."  
The teenage Amazon sweatdropped again, but nodded. "Yes, Shampoo understand. Shampoo do something wrong?"  
"Well... no... technically," Shower muttered, scratching her head. "That's not really the issue here. You see... Shampoo, you have a certain way of approaching martial arts. You train with great passion and determination. I haven't known you long, but I can tell you would be a savage opponent to face, and that you fight with great courage and desire in your heart."  
Shampoo nodded silently, a proud smile on her face. So she had made an impression after all!  
"And, well... that's why I'm not going to train you," Shower said apologetically.  
_Crash!_ Shampoo tipped over forward and faceplanted into the hardwood floor of the dojo.  
Immediately she bounced to her feet, an expression of hurt disbelief on her face. "But... But why? Why Shampoo not good enough for-"  
"Now, now, don't go putting words in my mouth," Shower snapped, causing the younger Amazon to flinch back and slowly sit back down. "Look. This is nothing personal against you, and it's not because you're not good enough, or not determined enough, or anything like that. This has to do with your attitude. It's... well... incompatible."  
Shampoo frowned deeply, and her eyes narrowed. "In... Incom...?"  
The elder Amazon sighed. "Your passion and ferocity, which I've no doubt was an asset to your original training, unfortunately makes it impossible for you to learn the only things I have to teach you."  
Shampoo shook her head. "Uh... but... no understand..." Passion, bad? How could something like THAT hinder her?  
"Well, it's like this," Shower said slowly, taking a long sip of tea. 'Hmmm... it IS better than the cold canned stuff...' "You see, the techniques I've developed, and really the only ones you lack, are those that use ki to perform certain effects. I'm sure you've seen or heard of them before."  
Shampoo nodded. "**Kachuu tenshin amaguriken** and **bakusai tenketsu** both ki attack, yes?"  
"No, not quite," the elder corrected. "They utilize ki, of course, and significant mastery is required in order to use either of them, but neither of them truly project ki itself into an actual attack. That is precisely what my special techniques do."  
In demonstration, Shower suddenly pressed her hands tightly against the sides of the cup she was holding, and an instant later, her hands suddenly flashed a bright blue.  
_K-crack!_ Shampoo raised an eyebrow as the cup suddenly split in two, having been frozen solid, along with its contents. Shower lazily dropped the frozen article on the floor and pushed it away carelessly.  
"That was a projection of ki. There are different ways to do it, and different effects you can get..."  
Shampoo nodded quickly, remembering the types of ki attacks she had seen from Tomas, and what Ranma had told her about Min's technique. She thought about Ranma's attacks too, but reasoned that summoning dark energy from a God of chaos was probably a little different from ki manipulation.  
"... But anyway, certain schools of ki mastery, such as ours, reason that since ki is a mostly mental energy, it must therefore be closely tied to our state of mind as well as our strength of will." Shower continued her explanation even as the point of her lecture finally started to dawn on Shampoo. "Your emotions, your personality, your mental conditioning, they all affect the ebb and flow of ki, inside your body and out. And for my ki techniques to be used, a certain emotional state must be reached. And maintained, at that. A state that, unfortunately, is beyond you."  
"You... You mean..." Shampoo mumbled weakly.  
Shower nodded. "Correct. You've probably heard of it. The 'soul of ice'." _Krshk!_ Holding up a single finger, Shower suddenly caused a small ice crystal to grow on her fingertip, branching upwards and dropping tiny shards of frost on her robe. "In order to use the **hiryuu shouten ha**, the soul of ice must be maintained long enough for an opponent to complete a spiral around you, and for you to launch a single uppercut. That's a window of about fifteen, maybe twenty seconds. That's not NEARLY long enough to use my attacks effectively in battle, never mind learn them in the first place. A passionate, fiery young woman such as yourself simply couldn't manage that for an extended period of time, unless we went about permanently altering your personality." She shrugged. "Which can be done, but I'm pretty sure you didn't want to leave this place an altogether different person, much less a cold, bitter one."  
Shampoo gulped. She had thought that Shower had an unusual personality for a martial arts master, but she hadn't considered that it was actually part of the woman's fighting style. That changed things significantly.  
"So you see, I really wouldn't mind training you, but... you're just, well... too 'hot', emotion-wise."  
Shampoo nodded silently, her head down so that her bangs covered her eyes.

Shower shrugged and started to get up, assuming that the younger woman was quite distraught, and needed some time to come to terms with the fact that she'd be leaving here empty-handed.  
"Miss Shower," Shampoo said suddenly, no longer addressing the elder as "master", "do you think you could tell me... what happened after you left China?"  
"Uhn? A-After..." Shower stopped, stunned.  
"In Amazon village, they tell many story about you, and say you leave China with weak Japanese man as husband in shame and disgrace. This true?" Shampoo asked. There was no ridicule or accusation in her expression, only curiosity, and the elder Amazon relaxed a little bit.  
"Ah... well..." for the first time since Shampoo had met her, Shower seemed completely at a loss for words. "Maybe first, you'll tell me exactly what kinds of stories they tell about me?"  
Shampoo pursed her lips, then began slowly, unsure of what kind of reaction she should expect from the other woman.  
"They say that you very strong warrior, learn tribe most sacred technique at early age and develop secret fighting style around it. But one day, you go hunting with sister Amazon and spring hunter trap while chase prey."  
"Urgh..." Shower sweatdropped.  
"Trap injure leg bad, and friend help get free. Then hunter, who weak Japanese man who use trap and gun kill animal, check on trap. When he apologize for setting trap, you attack."  
"Erhm..." Another sweatdrop appeared.  
"Difficult fight with bad leg, and you chase hunter all over forest, but no can catch up. Soon, you step on snare hunter set, and get caught."  
"Uhnn..." Shower sighed and looked downcast as a third sweatdrop rolled down her head.  
"You very mad, so while you stuck hang from snare trap, hunter knock you out so can get you free. This way, he beat you, and you have to marry. But hunter no understand, and go home to Japan. You disgraced for marry weak man who beat you, so you thrown out of village to go with husband." Shampoo finished her retelling of the story, and winced when she saw the elder Amazon's expression. "Er... that how story go, anyway. Is wrong?"  
"That... Th-That story..." Shower mumbled, resting her hands in her lap, "is quite accurate. Heh." Though one could technically call it a laugh, the old woman didn't smile. "And here I thought those fools back at the village were clever. Is a little embellishment really beyond them?"  
"Miss Shower?" Shampoo asked cautiously, hoping she hadn't offended the other woman. Even if the elder Amazon was no longer a possible option for training, she was still worthy of respect, and Shampoo hoped her curiosity hadn't caused Shower further humiliation.  
This time, the older woman did smile faintly. "Oh, don't mind me. I just wish they had come up with something a little more fantastical or even more embarrassing, so that I could call the tale rubbish and be done with it. But no, that's exactly how it happened, and I really have no excuse. For some reason the sight of that short, lanky man awkwardly toting his rifle and begging forgiveness for injuring my leg just caused a... surge of heat, you might call it. As you might imagine, I'm usually quite slow to anger, and quite rational."  
"Aiyah... was that time of month?" Shampoo guessed, causing the older woman to flush.  
"Er... well... I don't exactly recall..." Shower grumbled. "Shiro always had this... way of getting to me. It was disconcerting, and I didn't like it. I followed him here all right, and explained my marriage to him firmly, but I always treated our being married like a prison sentence, especially when I found that he would not go to China so that I could rejoin the village. But I stuck to him, and forced him to accept me as his wife."  
Shampoo made a face. "So... you no like husband... husband not want marry you... you force marry anyway because of law..." she was silent for several moments. "You have boring wedding night, yes?"  
A nervous smile crept up onto Shower's lips. "Well, there WAS no actual wedding, but yeah, you get the idea. Learning to live with him without constantly remembering my stupidity and humiliation came first; as far as I was concerned, maritals could wait. Even when he finally warmed up to me and started treating me like a wife instead of a stalker, I still kept him at arm's length. I was cold before, but that cool nerve turned to bitterness and hate. I hated my tribe for imposing those stupid laws, and I hated myself for getting in this situation and being unable to adjust to it."  
"You hate man too, yes?" Shampoo guessed.  
Shower frowned. "No. No, I could never quite reach the point of hating little old Shiro. And it wasn't because he was a blameless victim of circumstance as well. I don't really know how to explain it, but... I just spent enough time around him, and I guess he started to get to me."  
"Ah! You fall in love with trapper?" Shampoo asked excitedly, now very glad that she had brought up the topic.  
"Erm... well... n-no, it's just... uh..." Shower's face suddenly flushed red, and Shampoo blinked. Even after such a brief time, the elder Amazon's icy expression had left such an impression that Shampoo couldn't believe that such a reaction was possible for her. It just seemed impossible and wrong, like a crab getting a sunburn.  
"_Sigh_. Yes, I suppose I did fall in love with him. I... I didn't want to admit it, and even now, after he's dead, I have trouble admitting it. But I did love him. Maybe it was because he was charming in his own way, or maybe it's because... you know, because I was his wife and lived with him, but eventually I accepted him as a husband, rather than a punishment."  
Shampoo waited for the elder woman to finish before she asked the question that had caught her by surprise. "Ah, so... husband dead, then?"  
"Well, I don't know, do you SEE him around here?" The old Amazon drawled. "Of course he's dead. He was actually a good ten years older than I was when we were 'married', and himself had already lost his first wife to an avalanche two years prior. These Japanese do good, but they don't age quite as stubbornly as we do."  
Shampoo sweatdropped. That was an unusual, but very appropriate, way to describe the elders' abilities to evade death for centuries on end.  
"Anyway, even though I could admit it to myself that I loved him, and I knew that he loved me, I found that I didn't know how to express it properly." Shampoo started to say something, but Shower quickly cut her off. "Don't start. I'm sure that showing affection is a simple matter for you, but for me it wasn't just a matter of pride. Because of my training, my personality had been submerged so deeply, and so fully, into the soul of ice that I became unable to express any feelings of warmth normally. And whenever I did break from the technique that had been the mainstay of my training, it was so disorienting and chaotic that my emotions raged out of control, and I grew angry and hateful. I was a warrior through and through, to the point that being a wife seemed beyond me."  
She sighed again when Shampoo began to sniffle. "Oh, stop that. Don't go feeling sorry for me; it was my own damn fault, from start to finish. If I was going to give my entire life to martial arts, then I shouldn't have lost in the first place. And I was certainly warned about the effects that the soul of ice could have on a person if I grew too dependant on it. And even if I do have regrets, this life hasn't been so bad for me. I still have a house, a small rural business out of the quarry, and a few good friends."  
Shampoo sniffled again anyway, and wiped a tear from her eye. "Is still so sad, though..."  
"Bah. Spoken like a lovesick teenager," Shower mumbled, staring at her frozen and broken tea cup on the floor. 'Wish I hadn't done that... I'm getting thirsty.' Then she turned back to the younger Amazon. "Speaking of which, you never explained what you were doing in Japan, anyway."  
"Uh? Sh-Shampoo tell you. Shampoo here visit good friend what live in Japan."  
"So you say, with your face flushed bright red," Shower said morosely, "so might I assume that this 'good friend' is a handsome, virile young man?"  
"Urk!" Shampoo blushed even brighter, though her lips slowly curled into a smile. "You very good read people, yes?"  
"I find that interpreting other people's expressions compliments my natural advantage of not showing any," the elder explained. "So, you found this boy in China, and tracked him to Japan? I have to assume you're not married, given that you call him a mere 'friend'." She shrugged. "It can't be helped, I'm afraid. Most of the Japanese aren't much for fighting these days, and those idiots at the village would never let a warrior of any stature marry an outsider who wasn't a stronger fighter."  
Shampoo sweatdropped. "Erm... that actually not problem. Ranma much, much stronger than Shampoo."  
Shower stared. "Oh. Okay. So what's the hold up, then? Challenge this Ranma kid to a formal match: slam, wham, you're married. Don't tell me you're too **shy**."  
"That... what is word? Complicated," the younger Amazon mumbled. Not that she would mind simply declaring herself Ranma's wife and throwing herself into his arms, but given that such an arrangement had already been annulled once due to Ranma being a berserk, psychotic killing machine at the time, she doubted that it would fly a second time, even if he was sane when he defeated her. As far as the Amazons were concerned, Ranma was an uncontrollable monster, and they were doing him the greatest of favors by allowing him to live.  
"Besides," Shampoo said suddenly, raising her head and suddenly looking overly dignified, "Shampoo not want have Ranma that way. Want Ranma marry Shampoo because he love Shampoo, not because law say so."  
"Pfft! Kids," Shower snorted condescendingly. "But hey, whatever. I'll give you some advice though - if you really want to take romantic advice from an old, broken-down, childless widow - if you really want him, do whatever it takes to get him; trick him, seduce him, use magic on him, whatever. Your stupid romantic nonsense is all well and good, but if you don't keep your head straight, he'll slip through your fingers."  
Shampoo raised an eyebrow, then scratched her head. "Shampoo..." she began, then hesitated. "... Shampoo not sure what think about that."  
Shower shrugged and stared at the wall, looking bored. "So. Tell me about him."  
Shampoo blinked, startled. "What?"  
"This Ranma fellow. He must be something if you crossed an ocean just to be good friends with him, huh?"  
Shampoo sweatdropped. How could someone ask that kind of question while looking so perfectly disinterested? She wasn't even sure if the elder Amazon was listening for an answer.  
"Ah, well... Ranma handsome, and strong, but... but also have much kindness. He act like dumb man sometimes, and get big ego, but Ranma do anything for friend." She spoke more softly the longer she talked, and Shower stopped staring at the wall and finally turned to look at her. "When Ranma come to village first, he do very bad thing; hurt many people. But when come to senses, guilt of actions hurt far more than wound. But Ranma not give up, and suffer punishment and hate from village people while fix damage. He there long time before earn Shampoo respect and village forgiveness. But he not stop until we forgive. And even then, he not forgive self. He very compassionate that way."  
"When Mousse come and take Shampoo, Ranma come to rescue Shampoo. Mousse give bad beating, and Ranma look like not win, but refuse give up on Shampoo. If Shampoo not helped, Ranma be dead..." she spoke the last part in a bare whisper, the memory of seeing Ranma smashed to within an inch of his life in her defense causing twin surges of warmth and pain deep within her chest.  
Then her features hardened into a mask of determination. "That why Shampoo need get stronger. No be burden to Ranma! Shampoo defend self, and fight for self!"  
Shower thought about that for a moment. "But doesn't it turn you on to see this guy fight on your behalf?"  
Shampoo's determined mask flushed a bright red shade. "Th-That not point! What kind warrior Shampoo be if depend on other do all fighting?"  
"Well now, that depends; would you rather be a warrior or a wife? And do you want this boy as your rival or your lover? You can always have both, I suppose, but that gets... complicated. If you really love the guy, cook for him and keep up in bed. You don't need martial arts for that."  
Shampoo stared, still off-balance by the way Shower could speak of such a topic with the same bored expression on her face. "Like you say, what you know about these things?" She said finally, slightly miffed that the elder Amazon would suggest a docile role for her. After all, if she quit martial arts, then she quit the greater part of her sixteen years of life so far, and she wasn't ready to throw that away just yet.  
Shower raised an eyebrow. "Well now, I know a little about it. Whether you're good at it or not, one doesn't stay married for that long without learning a thing or two about men and women."  
"But you say you not able to..." Shampoo began making strange hand gestures, and Shower quickly cut her off.  
"No, no, that's not it. I mean, it WAS a pain, but we did get to trying to make babies eventually," the old widow mumbled. "It didn't go very well, though. I had to use this old meditation technique, and..."  
Shampoo waited patiently as Shower froze in mid-thought. "And?"  
"And why didn't I think of that sooner?" Shower muttered to herself. "Yes... if we altered it that way... and then... the side-effects wouldn't be as..."  
The younger Amazon frowned as Shower kept mumbling to herself. "What wrong?"  
Shower nodded sharply, then slowly stood up. "Nothing's wrong, Shampoo. Now I want you to go to bed now. Get plenty of rest, and DON'T get up at dawn tomorrow. I've decided that I'll train you after all."  
Shampoo gaped. "But... what you say... technique no work?"  
"I may have a way around it," Shower said simply, shrugging her shoulders. "Now go to bed. I have some studying to do..."  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ranma scrubbed his hair with one hand as he walked down the sparsely populated sidewalk, deep in thought about the events of the previous evening.  
Meeting his father's old master had been a volatile and unpleasant affair, even if it had a relatively happy ending. Try as he might, Ranma couldn't imagine Iori ever kowtowing to the goofy, lecherous master of Anything-Goes, and worse, now he had doubts about that part of his fighting style. How did such a worthless excuse for a human being come to create such an effective combat style?  
Ranma cocked his head to one side as something new occurred to him. He was told that Happousai was the grandmaster of the Anything-Goes school, but that didn't mean that he had created it. Though that didn't answer the question as to how such a measly, amoral, and reputedly lazy man rose to such ranks in the martial arts. While it certainly helped, Ranma couldn't imagine learning the nuances of a complicated and adaptable fighting style just to aid in the theft of booze and underwear.  
'Stealing panties, anyway... who the heck does that?' Ranma thought to himself, frowning deeply. 'I mean, what would you DO with them? Is there a lingerie black market? Even if there is, he could probably still make more off the booze.'  
The pigtailed boy continued down the street at a leisurely pace, still embroiled in thoughts of underclothes and its place in the criminal underworld.  
Of course, the greater objective was to distract himself from his destination, which was Min's house. Despite himself, he was feeling somewhat nervous about going out on a real date, and he figured the best way to approach it was not to think about it, and put Tomas' training to the test when the time came.  
In the meantime, there was plenty to think about. The old gnome that had once been Iori's master had promised to return, though Ranma couldn't imagine why. His father was an incredibly dangerous fighter, and unless the old freak wanted to take Nodoka and Yurumi's underwear, it didn't seem like there was anything at the Yagami household that he'd want.  
'And what about Mousse?' Ranma thought. He was under no illusions that he'd seen the last of that idiot. If the myopic half-monster was stubborn enough to fight against ten or so years of rejection from the girl he pined for, Ranma saw no reason to hope that he'd give up trying to kill him after losing on the first try.  
'Which is why I carry a metal canteen around now, instead of just a cup,' he thought to himself, fingering the heavy metal case in his jacket pocket. The water was cold, on the off chance that he'd have to turn into a girl, but when the need for hot water arose, he could use his flames to heat it to boiling in seconds.  
"Have at thee, cur!"

So deep was Ranma in thought, that he didn't immediately attach the words to a person he knew, or even realize he was being attacked, until he felt the stinging pain in his arm from having blocked the bokken swing on reflex.  
"The hell? Kuno?" Ranma mumbled, coming to his senses much more slowly than he really should have. "What're you doing here? It's not a school day... and we're not at school."  
"You think yourself safe from my wrath when off-campus? HA! My fury knows not such feeble boundaries!" Kuno backed up and then struck forward again, and Ranma once again deflected the blow, this time in such a way that he didn't hurt himself.  
"Don't you have any HOBBIES or anything?" The pigtailed boy said tiredly. "You can't devote your whole life to beating me up, man. I mean, that's just sad. Don't you have anything better to do?" He blocked two more strikes, hopping backward as he did so. "What about Akane? Can't you go read poetry to Akane or something?"  
"Silence!" Tatewaki bellowed, changing stances so that he could attack with overhead strikes. "As devoted as I am to Akane Tendo, how could I rest, knowing that lowly slime such as yourself would think yourself WORTHY to date with the glorious and... generously gifted Min Bogard!" he shouted accusedly, though the pause in his rant made Ranma wonder exactly what "gift" of Min's he was referring to.  
Ranma sighed and rubbed his forehead as he kicked upward, snapping Kuno's bokken in two. "I don't suppose it matters that she asked me to take her out, does it?"  
"LIES! HATEFUL LIES AND TREACHERY AND... uh... TREACHEROUS LIES THAT HATE!" the kendoist cried desperately, waving the broken bokken wildly at Ranma as if unaware that its length had been reduced by half.  
"Look, Kuno, it's not that I don't hate your guts or nothin', because I do," Ranma said apologetically as he backed off, slipping his hands into his pockets, "but I'm afraid this little archrivalry thing we have going here, you know, where you attack me for some reason made up on the spot and I blast you with a comical level of indifference? It's just not working out anymore."  
Kuno stopped ranting, and gave Ranma a curious look as he panted, out of breath. "It's... it's not?"  
"No, it's not. I mean, it was fun at first, knowing that I could whoop the biggest bully in school with both hands in my pockets, and it feels great to fight somebody because chicks like me and think you're an ass. But, well..." Ranma scratched the back of his head as he searched for the right words. "It's just, you're not really what I'm looking for in a serious archrivalry, and it's time to move on. I think we should start fighting other people," he finally blurted, shrugging apologetically.  
Kuno stepped back, his mouth agape. "Is... Is there someone else?"  
The pigtailed boy nodded. "Yeah, actually there is. You see, I met this guy the other day, and, well... he turns into a monster, okay? We duked it out a bit, he beat me to within an inch of my life, and I managed to eke out a victory at the last moment with a brilliant diversion tactic. I mean, he's immune to my flame powers, he plays a key role in my dark and vaguely angst-ridden past, we have perfect chemistry together! Or, you know, against each other. Whatever."  
"So, that's it then?" Kuno asked angrily, hot tears beginning to fall from his eyes. "You savagely beat me a few times, and that's it? It's over? Were you just using me all this time to sate your blasted ego!"  
"Hey, hey, don't be like that, man," Ranma said softly, patting the taller boy on the shoulder. "You'll find yourself a real archrival someday! I know it! You're going to make some poor loser a great enemy, mark my words! And besides, we can still loathe each other! We just won't fight anymore!"  
"IT'S NOT THE SAME!" Kuno sobbed, turning dramatically and sprinting away, dropping his shattered bokken in the process as he fled to a nearby walkway bench and collapsed onto it.  
Ranma sighed and turned away, knowing that there was nothing he could do that could remedy the situation. "Man... that was way harder than just socking him in the jaw. I hope love isn't this complicated."

Across the street, Hashiru and Tomas watched Ranma turn and walk down the street with his hands in his pockets, having been present to witness the scene by sheer coincidence.  
"Is it just me, or did that whole conversation seem creepy to you too?" Tomas mumbled, looking uneasy.  
Hashiru shook his head, apparently disagreeing. "Hmph. Americans." Then he crossed the street, and slowly approached the crying kendoist with Tomas trailing behind him curiously.  
"Hey there, you feeling better now?" Hashiru asked gently, squeezing Kuno's shoulder.  
Tatewaki shook his head violently, not looking up at the other two fighters.  
Hashiru smiled softly. "Would some chocolate ice cream help?"  
Kuno sniffled, and looked up slowly. "I... I guess..."  
"Come on. Let's go get some chocolate ice cream," the gang boss said, helping the grief-stricken kendoist off the bench.  
Still sniffling pathetically, Kuno slowly nodded, and followed Hashiru down the street toward the nearest ice cream parlor.  
Tomas remained behind for a moment, trying to make sense of what he just saw. "Goddamnit. Every time I finally think I have the Japanese figured out, they come up with a new kind of weirdness to throw in my face." Shaking his head, he started to run forward, intent on following them. Confused or not, he wasn't about to turn down ice cream, after all.  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Ding dong!_  
Mai turned away from the dinner she was preparing and headed for the front door, idly wiping her hands on a kitchen towel. 'Ranma must be here to take Min out,' she mused, smiling.  
Just like Andy, Mai had held her own suspicions and concerns when she found out that the son of one of the most notorious and savage fighters on the planet lived within walking distance of her house, and it had taken a few hard drinks to allow it to sink in such that she could fully process the idea that her daughter intended to court the young man.  
Unlike Andy, however, Mai had met Ranma, and talked with him. And had decided quite readily that she liked Ranma. He was energetic, good-natured, entirely rational, respectful without being unnecessarily polite, attractive, and had a sort of indifferent naivete that assured her that he didn't see Min as an object or conquest. Really, the curse to turn into a girl was the most concerning thing about him, and frankly, if Min could live with it, then Mai couldn't think of a reason to care. All in all, he was pretty much the best she could expect to find with a girl who preferred tough, self-confident fighters as boyfriends. His reaction to women even reminded Mai of her husband to an extent, though Ranma seemed more clueless than inhibited.  
'Well, whatever keeps him out of Min's pants until Andy warms up to him,' she thought, opening the door.  
"Hey Mrs. Bogard. How's it going?" Ranma asked casually, bowing slightly.  
Mai smiled. "Hi Ranma. Min is-"  
_Whoosh!_  
Mai whirled as she was suddenly lurched from where she stood, and then almost fell down as she fought to regain her footing, having been forcibly and quickly relocated several meters backward without her consent.

Ranma blinked as Mai was jerked back suddenly, and then replaced almost in the same instant by a tall, muscular blond man.  
"Uh... hi. Mr. Bogard, right?" Ranma guessed, not feeling overly worried when he looked at the taller man.  
"Right. Name's Andy Bogard; you can call me Andy," he said, smiling. "Min won't be ready for a few minutes. Why don't you come into the living room and have a seat?"  
"Okay, thanks," Ranma said cheerfully as Andy placed and hand on his shoulder and led him in.  
"_Ahem!_ Andy, dear," Mai said in an overly-cheerful tone, her left eye twitching.  
Andy just looked at his wife and smiled broadly. "Oh, don't worry! I just want to get to know the guy! You know, have a little man-to-man talk!"  
"Sounds fine to me," Ranma said, remembering that the man had supposedly been among the world's best martial artists many years back.  
'Yes. Definitely clueless,' Mai thought to herself as she planted her hands on her hips. "Andy, DEAR, Min will be ready to go any second now. If you're going to talk to him, do it right here where-"  
"Wow, are you making baked mackerel tonight?" Andy said suddenly, sniffing the air. "Excellent! It's been a long time!"  
Mai twitched as she remembered her cooking. 'He's rehearsed this conversation... well played, husband.'  
"Lemme tell ya, Ranma, there's nothing quite like Mai's baked fish. It's almost a shame you can't stay and eat here!" Andy continued, causing Mai to grimace as she realized she had been outmaneuvered.  
Ranma blinked, then raised an eyebrow. "Huh... is that an option?" He asked hopefully, smelling the pleasant aroma coming from the kitchen.  
"NO, it's not," Mai said firmly, noting that Andy had paused to consider it. "I prepared dinner expecting one person less than usual, so there's not enough food." Then she pursed her lips. "Well, I have to get back to cooking. Dear, please be nice, okay?"

Ranma scratched the back of his head as Mai retreated back to the source of the delicious smell. Andy was being perfectly nice to him; what was the problem?  
He took a seat on the sofa as Andy led him into the living room, and waited patiently for the older man to introduce a topic of conversation.  
"So, Ranma," Andy said finally, still smiling the same phony smile. "Tell me, do you date much?"  
"Nah, not really," Ranma admitted, sighing. "The last time I went out with someone, I ended up going crazy and nearly killing her later."  
Andy started to nod, then froze and blinked. "Wait... what?"  
"I said, no, I don't really date much," Ranma reiterated.  
"Oh... er..." putting aside whatever else it was that Ranma had said, Andy sat down next to the young man on the couch. "So Ranma, tell me... have you ever gone all the way with a girl before?"  
Ranma blinked. "Gone all the way where?"  
"I see..." Andy murmured, just making Ranma more confused. "You know that Min's not easy, right?"  
"Not easy? Easy to what?" Ranma asked, quickly growing annoyed by the incomplete sentences.  
'Hmph. He's either really clueless or a really good actor,' Andy thought, not quite ready to assume Ranma was safe to have around his daughter.  
He placed his arm behind Ranma's back, and clasped the shoulder opposite him. "Look, Ranma, I'll admit that I don't know you very well, but I've decided that I like you. Mostly for the sake of my daughter, who also likes you."  
"Okay..." Ranma said slowly, noting that Andy's "friendly" shoulder clasp was starting to tighten painfully.  
"To that end, I don't want to have to hurt you. But as a loving and responsible father, I'm going to have to hurt you if you take advantage of my daughter."  
Ranma grimaced as Andy's fingers dug deeply into his shoulder. "Ah. I... see."  
"So I'm asking you, as a personal favor to me, to observe some rules tonight, so that I don't have to end this comfortable friendship we share."  
"Actually, this friendship is getting less comfortable by the second," Ranma complained, inwardly marveling at how strong the older man was. Even Hashiru would have had trouble exerting so much force so casually.  
Andy ignored the pigtailed boy's discomfort. "Rule number one: you are allowed only to touch Min's arms, hands, and shoulders at any time. Certain parts of the head and the feet are allowed under extenuating circumstances. If your hands contact any other part of her body, it will result in their eventual removal."  
"From her body?" Ranma asked for clarification. Then he gulped as Andy stared at him leadenly. "Oh. Okay. Understood. Next rule?"  
Andy nodded, glad that Ranma seemed receptive to this. "Rule number two: you are responsible for keeping Min FULLY CLOTHED at all times during your date. Meaning that her shirt and pants stay ON, no matter what. Meaning I will kick your ass if she ends up naked, even if it's not your fault."  
"Uh... what about her costume?" Ranma said hesitantly. "The weird, braless Ninja outfit. How do I keep her from changing into that? I mean, all she does is twirl around..."  
Andy remained silent for several moments, then released some of the pressure on Ranma's shoulder. "Fair question. Though I can't imagine why she would go change into that on a date, if it happens, I suppose I'll give you a chance to explain yourself."  
"Great," Ranma deadpanned. "Anything else?"  
"Just one more thing. It true you turn into a girl?" The blond man asked bluntly.  
"Yeah... why?" Ranma asked hesitantly. Ordinarily he would have assumed the man wanted proof of his curse, probably in the form of a demonstration. But by now he had realized that this conversation wasn't ordinary.  
"Is there any possibility that you could spend the entire evening female?"  
Ranma's mouth opened, but nothing came out other than weak sputtering and gasping noises.

Just as the older man was about to repeat his request, rescue came in the form of an excited greeting from the stairs.  
"Hi Ranma! Sorry I'm a little late getting ready!" Min said cheerfully, descending the stairs wearing a strapless blue blouse and a black miniskirt, and wearing her hair in a bun pinned to the back of her head.  
"Oh, no problem," Ranma murmured, averting his eyes quickly. He knew from Tomas and Mai's training that he was on trial so long as he was under Andy's gaze, and that so long as he was judged, he had to act as respectful, polite, and uninterested in his date as he possibly could. "How's Italian food sound tonight?"  
"Sounds good," Min said less enthusiastically, noting that Ranma didn't seem particularly enthralled by her appearance. It took most men a good eight seconds to recover the ability for speech when she came down the stairs.  
'Then again, it looks like Daddy's watching him pretty closely. Hmmm...' She frowned as she followed Ranma to the door. It was unusual for her father to get involved in her love life; he might have had a protective personality, but he was also quite intelligent, and realized that Min could defend herself better than most Yakuza hideouts if someone were to make a move she disapproved of. The situation with Ranma was SLIGHTLY different, since he had managed to defeat her without serious difficulty, but she still didn't understand why her father might try to keep Ranma in line himself.

The young couple left the area of the front lawn, and made their way down the street at a brisk pace, walking in silence. Then, once Min was absolutely sure that no one could hear or see them from her family's property, she turned toward her date.  
"So, you were talking to Dad while you were waiting for me?" Min asked out of the blue. "He didn't, you know, say anything weird, did he?"  
"Nah, we were just chatting about stuff. I guess he wanted to get to know me a little better." Ranma had no intention of telling Min that Andy had threatened him; really, there was no need to. He had none of the intentions toward Min that Andy so feared anyway. And making Min defend him would have been cowardly, besides.  
Min nodded slowly, accepting the answer. Then she tugged on her blouse. "So, what do you think of my outfit?"  
"It looks good on you!" Ranma said quickly. "Where'd you get it?"  
The pigtailed boy quickly zoned out as Min responded, not at all interested in where the buxom Ninja shopped for clothes. 'That's right, just like Tomas taught you. Just let her talk until she asks you a question...'  
"-and besides, I'd rather be smart and thrifty than 'in-fashion', y'know? What does it really matter if you don't have super-expensive jeans? How about you? Where do you usually get your clothes?"  
Ranma blinked repeatedly, having barely brought himself back to attention in time to catch the last sentence. "Uh, well, my pop always buys me clothes. I wear pretty much the same kinds of clothes that he does."  
Min made a face. "You let your DAD pick out your wardrobe?"  
'Huh? What's with that look? What'd I do wrong?' Ranma thought as he began to stumble over words. 'Dang! I forgot to lie! And it seemed like such a simple question, too... Quick! Diversion tactic!' "That skirt looks kind of hard to fight in, don't you think?"  
Min seemed surprised at the sudden change in topics, but adapted easily enough. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Though I was kind of hoping to get through the evening without kicking anyone in the face," she said smirking.  
Ranma nodded mechanically. "Yeah, you're right. And I guess you could always just twirl around and change into the Ninja getup, huh?"  
She blinked. "Well, no, actually. I didn't bring it." Then her smirk returned. "Why? Were you hoping to get in some... 'practice' tonight?"  
'Dangerous flirting! Red zone! Red zone! Complete stop!' "N-No! Nothing like that! But, y'know, I figured that you'd go everywhere ready to fight if you could. Or maybe it's just me." 'Move to reverse! Release decoy chaff!' "You know, since I spent so many years training when I was a kid. I was on a few training trips out west for a couple of years at a time."  
"Really? Whoa! No wonder you're good!" Min crowed, idly wondering about why Ranma let out a sigh of relief.  
"Ah, well, I've put in the hours, ya know?" Ranma said far more humbly than usual, keeping in mind that he had to move the topic of conversation back to Min as quickly as possible. "What about you? Was it hard keeping up the regimen when you had to go to school and everything?"  
"Well, it's hardly a drag to put LESS effort into something as hard as combat training, but yeah, it was. I didn't keep as many friends growing up as most girls, but that's okay. You see, I really..."  
Ranma once again settled into a comfortable daze as they walked down the street to the restaurant. 'This is perfect. I can do this. She can't even tell I'm not listening to her!' "Uh huh. That doesn't sound too bad," he responded automatically when she paused.  
"Yeah, I guess you wouldn't think so, huh? Didn't you go to China during your trip? You met Shampoo there, right?" Min asked eagerly.  
"It wasn't very interesting," Ranma lied. "Tell me more about Ninjitsu."  
The pigtailed boy smirked as she happily did so. 'No problem at all. Ha! Dating is a breeze!'  
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Min wasn't overly impressed when they reached the restaurant Ranma had selected, which was a small mid-priced pasta joint in the middle of a shopping center, but reasoned she had no right to expect better. It was supposed to be a casual evening, and she was well aware that Ranma wasn't known for his money, even if his parents were supposedly well-off; which was just fine, ultimately, as she strongly disliked guys who flashed around their wallets to impress women.  
As for Ranma, he was especially proud when he opened the door to the restaurant to let Min inside. While the second part of the date, a short movie, had been arranged by Mai, Ranma had chosen the restaurant himself.  
Min took a good look around once they got inside and waited for a server. It was a small and sparsely furnished place, with thick, worn wooden tables and booths with weak, rustic-looking ceiling lamps, giving the restaurant a distinct impression of being run-down without being a dump. Each table had small wax candle in the center, to compensate for the poor light, and also add mood to what would doubtless otherwise be a simple and cheap meal.  
Noting the other couples seated around the place, staring into each others' eyes by candle light, Min mentally marked a few more points on Ranma's scorecard in her mind. 'Not bad... not bad at all.' Of course, she wasn't big on Italian food, but he was obviously trying.  
Before long a slightly older girl came with a pair of menus and guided them to a booth off in the corner.  
'Dang, here's a gorgeous couple,' the waitress thought, feeling quite envious of Ranma's date, and inwardly wondering why they wouldn't opt for a more high-class restaurant. 'Eh, maybe the guy's a cheapskate. Still a hunk, though.' "Please, have a seat. I'll be back in a few minutes to take your order."  
"Thanks," the pair murmured, sliding into the relatively narrow booth seats.  
Then the waitress gestured to the candle sitting in the center of the table. "Would you like me to light this for you?"  
Ranma smirked, having prepared for this moment. "Nah, thanks. I got it." Then he raised a hand and casually snapped his fingers.  
_Poof!_ Immediately a small purple flame materialized on the wick, and Min and the waitress both gasped slightly in surprise.  
'I am SO cool,' Ranma thought to himself as Min's surprise dissolved into a deep smile.  
It took the waitress a little longer to recover, not having been already aware that the pigtailed boy could summon dark hellfire at will. "Oh! Uh... okay then. Be back in a few," she said hesitantly, staring at the purple fire as she slowly walked away, and almost stumbling into another waitress as a result.  
Min grinned from across the table. "Did you take me here specifically so you could do that?"  
"Nah," Ranma said, remembering to lie again, "I like the food, is all."  
"Do you usually take your dates here?"  
"Uh. No, not really." 'Why does everybody think I date a lot?' "How about you? Where do you usually go?"  
Min sighed. "Oh, y'know, guys usually take me to these high-class ritzy joints with the big fountains and chandeliers and the whole bit. The food's always twice as expensive as it should be, and if you're wearing jeans they won't even let you in."  
"Huh." Were Ranma actually listening, rather than staring intently at the candle flame and manipulating its slight, flickering movements for his own amusement, then he probably would have started to feel embarrassed about what a cheap restaurant he'd chosen. As it was though, his only thought was whether or not he could manage to fire a projectile spark from the candle flame (hopefully at something other than his date).  
"It didn't make sense to me, really," Min admitted, "I mean, I'm pretty sure some of these guys sank into debt taking me to these places, and I never really had a good time. If they wanted to spend lots of money to impress me, then they could've skimped on the restaurant and just bought me a present, you know?"  
Ranma nodded mechanically, prompting Min to continue.  
"But then again, money doesn't really impress me anyway." Then her eyes narrowed, and she smirked across the table. "Now that finishing move of yours, though, THAT impresses me."  
Ranma chuckled lightly, having found a way to shoot small, bluish sparks up into the air from the top of the candle flame.  
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Ranma and Min's time at the restaurant passed without incident, Min enjoying herself greatly as she chatted about herself, her family, and her martial arts style, and Ranma carefully utilizing Tomas' dating lessons while trying to determine if he could create a technique to make objects burst into flames several feet away without physical contact.  
After the waitress finally came back they ordered their dinner, and then once again returned to conversation. Meaning Min got back to talking, and Ranma got back to distracting himself while he kept Min talking.  
"Anyway, why don't you tell me about your father?" The buxom Ninja asked, propping her head up on her hands with her elbows resting on the table. "I guess my folks know him from the old tournaments, but they really haven't told me much about him."  
Ranma shrugged. "Eh, there isn't really too much to say about Pop. He's really, really strong, but other than that, he's just a normal father, y'know?" Mentally, Ranma marveled at how well it was working out simply lying through his teeth every time he was asked something specific.  
"Huh. Really? Mine too, actually," Min mumbled. "You'd think a guy who was supposed to be one of the most powerful fighters on the planet would be more... well, eccentric, you know? Or cold and hard, maybe."  
Ranma sweatdropped. 'Well, some of them sure are,' he thought, thinking of his father.  
"Really, it's my mom that's a little out there." Min sighed, but didn't elaborate on her description, finding it a little embarrassing. Not that there was anything wrong with her mother being a quasi-hitwoman for various detectives before her last two children, having a sex drive that impressed her teenage daughter, or teaching said daughter various forms of thiefcraft, but it still wasn't the type of thing she wanted Ranma to know about her family so soon.  
"What kind of style does your dad practice?" Ranma asked, actually getting interested in this topic. An ex-world-class fighter would be quite a foe to go up against, after all, and the pigtailed man found himself wondering how his natural skill and hard-won ability would stand up to someone past his prime with that much experience.  
Min stopped to think, scratching her chin. "Well... his base style is the Shiranui family Ninjitsu, same as me and Mom. That's how they originally met, actually. But after he finished his training with great-grandfather, he branched off into Koppouken, which is an empty-handed Ninjitsu style that has a more solid grounding in ki use."  
Ranma nodded, now paying rapt attention. "So is it anything like Tomas' style? His father and yours were brothers, right?"  
Min shook her head. "They're brothers, but they trained under different masters."  
"I see..." Ranma started formulating battle strategies in his mind as he contrasted Tomas' use of ki to Min's. 'Because it's a Ninjitsu derivative, Andy would probably use swifter projectile attacks, and favor aerial assaults instead of the raw power Tomas wields. Then again, that guy looks like a brawler, through and through. Maybe he'd use close-range attacks? Hmmmm...'  
"But like I said, Dad's pretty normal, other than being able to smack around most martial arts masters like rag dolls," Min said. "Hey, that reminds me, does your sister have flame powers like you do?"  
"Yeah, she does, but they're a bit more... volatile," Ranma admitted. "Between the two of us, it was pretty hard to keep the house insured while we were growing up. By now we have the fire department on speed dial."  
Min laughed, and Ranma gave himself a mental pat on the back. It seemed to be smooth sailing from here.

As her laughter died, Min's smile shrank slightly as Ranma asked her about her sister Kikyo.  
While she was having a good time, there was something that seemed... off about the entire evening. Not that there was anything wrong with how the evening was going, but rather, there seemed to be something missing. Something was... different than what she had expected, and inwardly, had dearly hoped for.  
As she rattled off some amusing anecdotes about her little sister, Min wracked her brain trying to figure out what was bugging her. Ranma was being a perfect gentleman, had taken her to an excellent restaurant, even if it would not have been her first choice in cheap food, and seemed to be absolutely fascinated by her from the way he kept asking questions and staring into her eyes through the softly flickering candlelight.  
'It's kind of odd, though,' Min thought, 'Ranma always seemed sort of, I don't know, **dumb** about conversation and social skills. And it's no wonder, if he spent most of his life on the road learning how to fight. He seemed so nervous when I asked him out, too. But he hasn't said a single word I haven't liked.'  
She frowned as Ranma asked her about her brother. 'Come to think of it, this entire evening has gone REALLY smoothly. Too smoothly, actually. It's even a little boring. It's like he was completely prepared for this...'

Ranma became worried as Min frowned, and then grimaced as her eyes narrowed. 'Uh oh. Does she not like her brother? Change the subject!' "Actually, why don't you tell me about Tomas instead. Did you guys train a lot when you were younger?"  
"Mmm, a little," Min said nonchalantly, relaxing her expression. Then her eyebrow rose and she pointed off to the side behind Ranma. "Wow. Look at that dress that woman has on! She's **really** pretty, don't you think so?"  
All manner of alarms went off in Ranma's head. 'This is it! Moment of truth! Let's make Tomas proud!'  
In a smooth, lazy motion, Ranma turned to look past his booth seat and then turned right back around. "Yeah, you're right. She is. So how hard was it for you to learn those fire-based ki attacks of yours?"  
"Ranma, that's a potted plant," Min deadpanned.  
Ranma blinked. Then he turned back around to confirm what Min had said. Then he turned back toward her. "Okay, wait, I don't get it. YOU pointed it out. Which of us is supposed to feel stupid?"  
"You are," Min growled, reaching across the table and grabbing the pigtailed boy by the jacket. "Come on. We're leaving. Now."  
"Wh-What? Why? What'd I do?" Ranma blubbered, looking panicked as Min dragged him from the booth and out the door, turning the heads of everybody else in the restaurant. "Wait! What about our food?"  
"We haven't gotten it yet, so we don't have to pay for it!" Min growled, kicking open the door and shoving Ranma outside. "On your feet! Move it!"

Among the astonished diners, one of the waitresses shook her head sadly. "Poor sap. Looks like he 'aint getting any tonight."  
A second waitress smirked. "Maybe not from her. If she doesn't drag him too far away before breaking up, there might be somebody else might be willing to take in a poor, abandoned boyfriend." She grinned and winked.  
The first girl laughed. "Aw, such an angel, offering to mend his broken heart!"  
"If that girl leaves enough to mend. I don't know why, but she was PISSED."  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I don't understand! What did I do wrong? I swear, that plant wasn't nearly as pretty as you are!" Ranma babbled, trying to salvage the situation best he could.  
Min fumed and finally let go of Ranma's sleeve, rounding on the pigtailed boy. "Ranma, you were coached on this date, weren't you?"  
Ranma blinked. "Huh? Coached?"  
"Coached! Trained! Studied! You didn't just do your homework, you memorized the whole freaking book! No matter what happened in there, no matter what I did or said, you just filled in the answer like I was a math test!" Min accused.  
"In my defense... I **think**... I've always failed math tests," Ranma murmured. "Look, is THAT why you're angry at me? Because Tomas taught me what to do on our date?"  
"YES!" Min shouted. "You're supposed to be yourself!"  
"Tomas advised strongly against that. As did your mom, actually," Ranma said honestly, shrugging. "Look, I don't get it; why do you care? You seemed to be enjoying yourself!"  
"That's not the point, Ranma!" Min said in a huff, crossing her arms under her breasts. Seeing his helplessly confused look, she sighed, and some of her outrage evaporated. "Okay, look, it's like this. Ranma, if I wanted a guy to just stare at me while I talk and buy me dinner, then I wouldn't have asked you out. There are lots of guys like that who ask **me** out all the time, and many of them are more experienced and smoother than you are. Do you know why I came to you?"  
Ranma hesitated for a long moment. "Is it my strong feminine side?" he guessed, realizing the biggest difference between him and pretty much every other man on the planet.  
Min simply stared at him with an expression that practically shouted "You have GOT to be kidding me."  
"Okay, fine! I don't know! Why?" Ranma admitted in a panic, giving up on containing the situation.  
"It's your STRENGTH that attracted me to you," Min said bluntly, though a blush started creeping up on her features. "Looks and money and charm are nice and all, but nothing ever set my heart beating like that fight we had!" her face was completely red now, but she continued to speak with determination. "I like fighting! That's why I asked you out! You're the only man outside my immediate family to beat me! Seeing those punches sailing toward me and knowing that I had been dominated was the greatest thrill of my life!"  
Ranma stared at Min for a moment as she slowly calmed herself after such a passionate confession. "So... is that supposed to be heartfelt and romantic, as opposed to, say, really creepy?"  
"Creepy or not, I was expecting to go out with Ranma Yagami the fighter, not some school boy on test day reading notes from his arms!" Min seethed.  
The pigtailed boy recoiled. "So THAT'S what gave me away? Damn!"  
Min sweatdropped again. "Look, I don't WANT to be with someone who just nods his head and tries to sweet-talk me the whole time! It's not interesting! It's not challenging! It's not fun! I want a little trouble! Some resistance! Some arguments! Some fights! I want a man who I have to struggle with!"  
Ranma twitched, his head throbbing as he tried to wrap his head around this newest obstacle. "But... I mean... Can't... Well... You were enjoying yourself!"  
"I'm not here to enjoy myself!" Min shouted back. Then she hesitated. "Well, I mean, I AM here to enjoy myself, but, er... you know what I mean."  
"No, I DON'T know what you mean." Ranma deadpanned, holding his head. "But look, why don't we just go back to the restaurant, sit down, and-WHOA! BEHIND YOU!" Ranma shouted, his eyes widening. "It's that monster that took Shampoo! He's back!"  
Min whirled around, raising her arms in a defensive position and immediately cursing the fact that she hadn't packed any weapons or her Ninja outfit. "Damn! Where is it! Above?" She searched the sky, and her head zipped to all the nearby buildings, trying to get a good look at all possible angles of attack.  
Unable to locate the enemy, she turned back toward Ranma. "Ranma, where is it? I... can't... find..."  
Or rather, she turned back toward the dark, empty street that used to contain Ranma.  
A long, lonely silence dominated the street.  
In the bushes nearby a cricket chirped. Thus giving itself away to a spider lying in wait, which silenced the rude interruption with vicious prejudice.  
Min started to tremble as she balled her hands into fists, and a vein popped up on her head.  
"I DON'T BELIEVE THIS! HE DITCHED ME!" She screamed, her aura burning around her in a bright orange halo.  
"So, are you gonna track him down, or does this mean he's free for the night?" A voice asked from behind her.  
Min turned and gave a deadly look to one of the waitresses who had wandered out of the restaurant, apparently to watch the fight.  
A stray cat that was crossing the street between the two suddenly twitched violently, and then fell comatose on the cement.  
The waitress gulped and quickly backed away. "My, so busy tonight! I have to get back to work!"  
Min turned back away and immediately began searching for clues as to Ranma's path of departure. 'No WAY are you getting away from me that easily!'  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Must get away from the crazy lady,' Ranma thought to himself as he ran through a poorly lit park in his effort to completely lose his date.  
'This is insane! Why would any man voluntarily put himself through this? Dating sucks! Never again! Never!' Ranma swore, diving behind some playground monkey bars and stopping to listen for sounds of pursuit.  
After a moment of hearing nothing but nocturnal insects, Ranma nodded.  
'Okay. I can't go home right away, because that's probably the first place she'll look. And I can't go to Tomas' place... ever again. So where... ah ha! Hashiru's territory!' He nodded his head sharply, becoming less aware of his surroundings as he contemplated his next move. 'They'll have some place I can crash. I can go home tomorrow, scout out the house, and if it's clear, collect my stuff and go on a long training trip. I'll also need to remove my school record. I'll have to steal them, so that nobody will know why I'm leaving...' He idly made a note of the irony that he hadn't been nearly so nervous back when he thought Min was trying to kill him.  
"THERE YOU ARE!"  
Ranma's hand lashed upward and grabbed the side of the monkey bars before he yanked his body upward just in time to escape Min's flying kick.  
"You'll never catch me alive, you lunatic!" Ranma yelled, flipping himself on top of the bars and launching himself into the adjacent trees.  
Min growled as she tried to recover from her not-so-surprise attack (she gave herself a mental kick for having shouted first), as she had ended up landing the strike in a sandbox. "Who said 'alive' was part of the plan, jerk!"  
Ranma didn't answer, instead rapidly jumping from tree to tree, building momentum as he pushed through the park woods. 'Maybe I can find some sort of disguise, and use the water I'm carrying...' He thought, landing on a tree branch and stopping for a moment to think of where he might find women's clothes.  
_Vwish!_ Ranma let his weight shift slightly, and a rock zipped just past his head and impacted the tree he was perched in, sending bits of bark and splinters into the air.  
'Shoot! She's fast! Really fast! And a decent tracker, too,' Ranma thought, deciding to hold his ground for now until he could think of a good place to escape to.  
Min kicked up another rock from the ground, and snatched it out of the air. "You won't get away! Nobody ditches me on a date! Nobody!" She punctuated the last statement with a rapid-fire salvo of four stone projectiles, each one trailing flame as they rocketed toward the pigtailed target.  
_Crack-Crack-Crack-Crack!_ Ranma's hands became a blur as he struck each stone missile with perfect precision, sending hot embers whirling around him. "Who you calling 'nobody'?" He snapped, planting his hand flat against the trunk of the tree he was perched on. Then his hand glowed purple, and small violent sparks began to appear and wind their way around the tree's branches.  
_BLAM!_ Min shielded her eyes as the tree exploded into a purple firestorm, with twin bolts of flame that split off in opposite directions and left a high wall of dark fire in its wake.  
'He used the tree as a catalyst to enhance his flame's power? And so quickly!' Min thought, awed as the hellflame towered before her menacingly, cutting off her path of pursuit. 'Makes sense, I guess. Wood to power fire. But still, I couldn't do that...'  
Licking her lips in anticipation, Min back-flipped and launched into the air, touching down on the side of the tree behind her. Then she rebounded off the trunk as powerfully as she could, easily clearing the wall of fire.

Ranma, in the meantime, was still shaking his head while lying on the ground, having caught far more of a blast from his spur-of-the-moment experiment than he had expected.  
"I keep forgetting that my flames have a force component too. And that I'm not completely immune to it," Ranma mumbled to himself. It was a problem he hadn't quite worked out completely with his **hellfire rage** attack, though he had at least been able to minimize the amount of kinetic energy that hit him directly.  
He started to get up, when instead he was hefted upward by the collar of his jacket, and a slim, yet strong arm slipped around his neck.  
"Well, well, well. Look who bit off a little more than he could chew with his new trick," Min said in a sing-song voice, flexing her arm.  
Ranma grimaced. "Look, Min, don't make this any harder than it's already been. It obviously wasn't going to work out. You're a great girl and all, but you're clearly insane. That's just not what I'm looking for in a relationship."  
A vein popped up on Min's head. "'Insane'? Who's insane? You're the one who took a training trip to a bloody cursed site!"  
"Hey! That wasn't my idea!" Ranma protested, not making any move to struggle against Min's hold. "And in Pop's defense, I learned a lot of useful things on that trip! Like this," with that, he jabbed a spot on the side of Min's elbow, causing her arm to relax against her will. Then he tore himself from her grasp, and swept her feet out from under her as he turned and stepped away.  
Ranma planted his hands on his hips as Min scrambled to her feet. "Seriously though; what're you trying to do, here? You KNOW I'm stronger than you. Are you trying to kill me? Beat me? Drag me back to dinner? Take me... uh..."  
He trailed off as Min started to shake slightly, her head down and her carefully placed hair spread down and obscuring her face. "I, uh, l-look, I'm sorry, but-"  
"Ha ha ha ha ha! Wa ha ha ha hah!" Min suddenly bust out laughing, falling down on her rear. "Oh, gosh... What WAS I thinking?" She smiled widely and then patted the ground next to her. "Come on. Have a seat. You worked up a bit of a sweat, there."  
Ranma recoiled. "What? But... I mean... aren't you mad?" He left unspoken that he didn't trust her intentions for having him in a relaxed position with his flank exposed to her questionable mercies.  
The Ninja smirked. "I was, but I'm over it now. I let out my steam, and it was fun."  
"Wha? Fun?" Ranma said, absolutely flabbergasted.  
"Yeah. What I was talking about, the struggling thing? This is a good example of that." She winked at him. "Was it good for you too?"  
"I... um..." Ranma scratched the back of his head as his face reddened. "I guess... it was kinda neat..." he admitted. "Although it's still creepy that you'd rather fight me on a date than see a movie."  
Min snorted. "Eh, get over it." Then she pointed behind Ranma at the towering inferno that still blazed hotly behind him. "By the way, did you remember that you set a forest fire going a minute ago?"  
"GYAAAH! NO!" Ranma shouted in surprise, quickly gesturing at the flames he had summoned and causing them to slowly fall. Within moments the firestorm had ceased, and all the remains of two hundred square feet of woods crumbled to the ground among dark, glowing embers.  
"Aw, man. I didn't mean to cause this much damage..." Ranma mumbled, sweating slightly as he imagined all the consequences that he'd doubtlessly avoid.  
Min smirked and wrapped an arm around the back of his neck, surprising the pigtailed boy as she tugged him close. "Oh, don't feel bad. That trick causing the tree to explode WAS very impressive."  
Ranma blushed from the proximity of the buxom young woman. "Uh, th-thanks." 'I guess she really isn't mad at me anymore. Min's weird... but, in a way, she's pretty cool, too.' He thought. Ranma also liked to fight battles for fun, gladly taking whatever injuries he sustained in stride, and still enjoying every minute of combat. He had just never considered it an attractive force.  
"Well what have we here? Such a fine girl you've got there, Yagami!"

Ranma jerked to attention at the sound of cackling laughter, and clenched his teeth as he recognized it. "What the hell? What do you want?"  
Min blinked, completely unfamiliar with the voice. "Huh? Who is it? GAH!"  
The busty Ninja jumped as she felt someone goose her from behind, and quickly flipped away, her face bright red.  
Happousai cackled as he landed, standing away an equal distance away from the two teenagers. "Ha ha! You're not bad, are you missy? Such fine reflexes! And such... **exquisite** assets..."  
Min went completely white and shuddered as the tiny little man grinned at her. "Wh-Wh-What? What are y-you supposed to be?"  
Ranma sighed. "Leave 'er alone, you freak. Why are you here, and how can I get rid of you?"  
Happousai's sleazy grin turned into a gleeful smile when he faced Ranma. "Why do you think? I'm gonna get you back for blasting me, Ranma!"  
"For blasting you? You're after me because I blasted you?" Ranma stared at him for a moment, then shook his head. "You know what? Fine. Whatever. Just hit me and leave, already. If that's the only reason you have for bugging me, it'll be worth it to never see you again."  
Happousai blinked in surprise. That wasn't the reaction he was expecting. "What? You just gonna take it? Fight me like a man! You don't want your girlfriend to think you're CHICKEN, do ya?"  
"Most girls aren't impressed by seeing guys beat up senior citizens," Ranma said dryly. "So is that why you're really here? You wanna fight me? Forget it." Iori had warned Ranma against getting involved with Happousai, and given what he had already seen of the little pervert, it was sound advice.  
"Oh, so you don't wanna face me, eh? CHICKEN! CHI-CHI-CHICKEN!" Happousai shouted, planting his hands on his hips and waving his elbows. "Want some corn, chicken? Bawk bawk ba-kawk!"  
Ranma and Min both sweatdropped, and the former turned toward the latter. "Well, I think that's enough for one night. How 'bout I take you home?"  
"By all means," Min said, turning away and following the pigtailed boy toward the street.  
Happousai slowly stopping waving his elbows as he realized that the two teenagers apparently weren't incensed by his taunts, and his eyes narrowed. "All right, fine. No more mister nice ancient martial arts master..."

Min caught a blur of movement out of the corner of her eye, and then in an act of reflexes that impressed both of the men present, struck down behind her with a knife hand block, stopping Happousai's lunge for her rear.  
"Nuh-uh-uh!" Min said, grabbing the tiny pervert by the head. "Grope me once, shame on you. Grope me twice, shame on me."  
Happousai grinned. "Shame on you, then!"  
_Shr-r-rip!_ Min's pupils shrank as her blouse seemed to suddenly disintegrate into shreds, and her grip on Happousai loosened as her jaw dropped in surprise.  
Happousai took complete advantage of the opportunity, and flipped away with Min's bra fluttering in his grasp. "Ha ha! That's what you get for underestimating me!"  
Min trembled in rage and fear as she clutched her chest, and watched Happousai bury his face in his freshly stolen property.  
"Holy sardines! I can almost fit my entire head into one of these cups! DAY-AHM, girl! Whatever they've been feeding you, tell your friends about it!"  
Min's mouthed worked soundlessly, as she found herself unable to come up with anything to properly express how upset she currently was.  
Then she felt a warm, rough feeling on her back as Ranma slid his trademark jacket over her.  
"Here you go," he whispered, closing the jacket around her and gently moving her aside. "I'll take care of this."  
Min blushed as she felt Ranma's arms encircle her, and turned to watch as he faced Happousai. "B-Be careful! His ki attacks are so firmly grounded in his style that you can't even see them coming!"  
"Yeah, I know," Ranma murmured, remembering how Happousai's blow had destroyed Min's outfit despite being cleanly blocked, and trying not to remember the short moment in which he had seen his date's chest completely exposed in all its glory. 'And there's no way he could move like that naturally with those stubby little legs; this guy's like a nuclear ki reactor. It's in every fiber of his being.'

Happousai smirked as he pulled the brassiere off his face, seeing Ranma staring at him with a hard, cold expression. "Aw, what's da matter? Did I do something wrong?"  
"I'm just gonna let you know right now," Ranma began, his hands slowly twisting into fists, "that what I'm about to do to you isn't all you're gonna get for that stunt you just pulled. Min isn't part of this, so I'm going to make this quick for now to get her out of here as soon as possible. I'll give you a more thorough ass-kicking later."  
The old master chuckled, not intimidated at all by the young man's words. "Oh? So now you're ready to fight?"  
"What is about to happen here isn't going to be a fight: it's going to be a beating." With that, Ranma reached out and slapped the tree next to him, holding his palm on the trunk for a moment before pulling it away.  
Happousai frowned at the glowing purple palm print on the tree. "And what's that supposed to do? Vandalize our public parks?"  
"You have no idea..." Ranma mumbled, raising a hand and snapping his fingers.  
_BLAM!_ The greater part of the tree disintegrated, and an explosion of purple flame blasted out of the point of contact made by Ranma's hand, tearing through Happousai like a cannon shot, and knocking Ranma off his feet from his proximity to the tree.

_Whump!_ The pigtailed boy rolled along the grass painfully as he landed, reflecting upon how difficult his new technique was to control. "Okay then... that hurt a little..."  
He was surprised when he felt himself being pulled to his feet, and looked up to see Min holding him up, his jacket now zipped up and hanging loosely on her slimmer frame. "You okay? You didn't seem prepared for that."  
"I wasn't," Ranma said reluctantly. "That's a dangerous technique. Plus, it needs a name." Then he shook his head. "Never mind that. We have to get outta here; the brunt of that blast missed him. He'll be back soon."  
Min nodded grimly and released him, turning away and breaking into a sprint at the same time he did. "So who is that sick little gnome, anyway?"  
"He's one of the martial arts masters Pop studied under. A real whack-job, too. I dunno why he's bugging me and my family, though."  
Min caught a guilty-looking glance from her date as they reached the edge of the park, running into the bare streets.  
"I'm really sorry you got caught up in it," Ranma mumbled, slowing down a little. "I didn't know the old freak would attack someone who wasn't involved... and... well, I just-"  
_Bop!_ Ranma flinched as Min lightly clubbed him on the head with her fist. When he looked up at her questioningly, however, she was smiling at him.  
"Oh, don't give me that whole 'I'm so ashamed, how could I have brought this upon an innocent girl' spiel." She poked him in the nose as she continued speaking. "I mean, how long have we been hanging out together? I know you get in fights. A lot of fights. With some pretty bizarre characters, yet. I expect it. And I don't expect you to miraculously suspend the rest of your life for the purposes of taking me out for dinner."  
"And yet, you still came with me unarmed," Ranma pointed out, earning him another bop on the head.  
"Yes, okay, I fully regret that by now," Min admitted, flushing slightly. "But that won't be too big a problem. I have an idea."  
Ranma raised an eyebrow, and Min winked at him. "The old geezer is tough, and damn fast, but not too bright. Let him come. And we'll be ready for him."  
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A charred and angry Happousai bounded from tree to tree like an enraged flea, bouncing about muttering incoherently as he searched for his target.  
'I've gone way too easy on that little punk so far! I've let him get in the first shot... I've let him surprise me. But no more!'  
Letting his aura loose, it wasn't long before a large, menacing silhouette of Happousai's form followed above him, a menacing aura of pure energy that ripped through the tree branches even as Happousai weaved through them.  
'Oh no. Not going to happen this time. We'll see how HE likes being on the hard end of an explosion!'  
With that thought in mind, Happousai cackled and summoned two Happoudaikarins to his hands.  
Finally, the tiny, wrinkled martial arts master reached the edge of the park, and rocketed out of the treetops, grinning with a gleeful fury as the fuses on his bombs lit from the heat of his battle aura. "NOW YOU PAY, YAGAMI!"

_Splat!_ Then he fell flat on his face, being stunned in mid-charge by the sight of Min in the middle of the street, having apparently lost the jacket Ranma gave her to cover her upper torso.  
Happousai bounced upward to attention, hardly one to spend time with his eyes facing the ground with such a lovely example of puberty's benefits sitting right in front of him, illuminated by the harsh glow of the streetlight above her.  
Min flushed and looked away, holding one arm over her chest to cover the bare minimum to keep her appearance strictly "PG-13". "Oh no! That pervert's back! Ranma, why did you leave me? And did you HAVE to take back your jacket first?"  
Happousai twitched, and then some steam blew out of his ears as his brain switched gears and his libido changed settings from "Temporarily Subdued" back to its norm of "Full Overdrive" and then bounced up an additional notch to "Plus Nitros".  
A small part of his brain was skeptical of the authenticity of Min's words, as she hadn't seemed nearly so helpless before, and as Ranma hadn't seemed so ignoble. Those thoughts didn't immediately help either of Happousai's current priorities of seeing naked women or hurting Ranma, so the unpopular, rational little cluster of gray matter was tasked with thinking of something more relevant, such as figuring out where to get a bra to replace the one destroyed by Ranma's flames. That portion of his brain responded by asking that if recognizing traps wasn't important right now, where did the two live explosives in the hands rank on his list of priorities?  
The rest of Happy's brain unanimously agreed that his rational part was a jackass.  
_BOOM!_

Min winced as the explosion consumed the little pervert, and she sweatdropped. That hadn't been part of the plan. "Huh. He was so dumb he blasted himself before we could do it," she mumbled.  
_Cough! Hack! Cough!_ Happousai stumbled out of the smoke left by his bombs, and then quickly shook the ash and soot off him before clearing his throat. "_Ahem!_ Sorry about that. I don't use that technique much."  
Min's sweatdrop remained. "I don't mind. You can blow yourself up any time."  
"Yes, well, back to business then, I suppose. SWEETO!" Launching himself forward like a rocket, Happousai gleefully stretched out his hands and squeezed his eyes shut, anticipating the wonderful feel of the young Ninja's bountiful chest within his loathsome grasp.  
Said Ninja, having anticipated the assault entirely, quickly withdrew Ranma's metal water canteen from under her and flung it at the incoming lecher, using the same technique she used with her fans to set the container ablaze as it left her hand.  
_Thwap! Hssssssssssssssss..._ Happousai gasped and fell down in mid-lunge as something solid struck him in the head, and then found himself surrounded by scalding steam, unable to see his previous target.  
Scoffing at such a weak and desperate distraction, the old martial arts master simply leapt out of the steam cloud in the direction where his prey had laid before-  
-And sailed directly into Ranma's fist, which burned a furious violet with the dark power of the Orochi.  
_Ka-THWACK!_ Happousai went flying across the street from the impact, trailing smoke and bits of burnt clothing right before he smashed into a parked car, denting its hood inward and crushing several of its more important parts with his soft, wrinkled flesh and brittle, elderly bones.

Ranma started to smile in triumph, but suddenly felt a sharp pain in his abdomen, forcing him onto his knees.  
"Are you okay?" Min asked worriedly, wondering what had happened. He hadn't used too much power, had he? Did Ranma even HAVE a limit to how much he could use his flames?  
The pigtailed boy took several deep breaths, then stood up, smiling weakly. "S'no problem. I'm okay. I'm just a little winded from those exploding trees, that's all." 'That little freak tagged me! I don't believe it! I smashed him the second he appeared!'  
Then his eyes widened, and he whirled around. "Look out! He's beh-"  
_Thwap-Thwap-Thwap!_ Ranma was silenced as a half-dozen blows landed on his chest in a split second, and he barely managed to keep his footing as he slid backward from the force. Then he barely managed to catch a glimpse of a wooden pipe lashing out for his ankle before he was sent flying straight upward, the recipient of some unnatural application of force he couldn't begin to understand.  
Min recoiled at the sight of seeing Ranma literally tossed around so easily, and then lashed out with a knife-hand block as Happousai made another shot for her chest.  
_Bwap!_ "Hey! Are you gonna fight him or grope me? One or the other, pervert!" She punched with her free hand, but the elderly man easily avoided it, bouncing back onto the empty street just as Ranma made a much less pleasant landing several meters behind.  
"Sorry honey, but you two have been pretty rough on this old man so far! I need a recharge! 'Scuse me!" Happousai jumped again, and Min leapt backwards as well, her hands a blur of motion as she tried to smack the old man away.  
"A 'recharge'? You actually get power from molesting people? Gross!" Min shouted in disgust as she tried to deflect the determined little pervert.  
Unfortunately, she wasn't nearly quick enough to hold out for long, and before Min realized that her guard was being undone, she felt a writhing sensation among her breasts. "Ack! You sicko! Leggo!" She cried, her face darkening.  
"Mm-hm! How sweet it is!" The lecher said blissfully, rubbing his face against her assets.

Ranma growled and stood up, his hands lighting up in twin blazes of purple.  
He was right in the middle of figuring out a way to utterly destroy the perverted monster groping his date without likewise destroying his date at the same time, when he caught Min winking at him, and hesitated.

"Think you're hot now, old man? See how you like this!" Min clasped her hands together in front of her, with the index fingers of both hands pointing up. "**Kagerou no mai**!"  
_Thwoom!_ Ranma's eyebrow rose as Min lit up like a torch, and Happousai's eyes bugged out as he was once again consumed by flames. Unfortunately for him, he had invested such a grip upon Min's chest that he couldn't immediately dislodge himself from her until his body had already completely caught fire (in stark contrast to his bombs and Ranma's fire blasts, which blew him away rather than lighting him aflame).  
"GWAAAAH! NOTAGAINNOTAGAINNOTAGAINWHYDOESTHISKEEPHAPPENINGTOMEWHATDIDIDOTODESERVETHISSWEETMOTHEROFALLTHATSHOLYTHISHURTSLIKEAMOTHERSOMEBODYHELPMEWATERINEEDWATER!"  
Eventually the flaming lecher walked within leg's reach of Ranma, who wasn't about to let such an opportunity pass him by.  
Boot!  
Happousai went flying across the street from Ranma's kick, wildly flailing his burning arms as he broke through the front driver's-side door of the small Mitsubishi he had already become intimately acquainted with. _Crunch!_  
"Now, Ranma! Let's do this!" Min shouted, landing in front of the pigtailed boy and charging her flame aura as he powered up his own.  
"O-Okay," he stuttered, trying to keep his concentration on the technique he was preparing. Which was difficult, as it required he focus on Min as she prepared her own attack, and at some point Min had decided that winning the battle was more important than keeping her breasts covered; a sentiment that Ranma agreed with, to be sure, but it was extremely distracting.

Happousai stumbled out of the twisted wreckage of the car, slightly dazed, but no longer on fire. He had suffered a lot of damage so far, mostly fire damage, and it was beginning to take a serious toll on him, despite his ridiculously efficient healing abilities.  
Staggering forward, he didn't even realize that he was back in the fight until he saw flames once again burst into being around Min in front of him, this time holding in the shape of a huge fireball.

"**Chou hissatsu shinobi bachi**!" Min shouted, holding her arms in an "X" position in front of her as she held the fireball together as best she could.  
Then Ranma's purple aura burst around him, and he slammed his hands flat on Min's back. "**Gouka rippuku: revised**!"  
"**RANRAN NA RYUU GYORAI**!" Min finished, suddenly blasting forward at a speed far beyond her normal capabilities.  
Happousai's eyes widened as a huge lance of flame rocketed toward him, like a massive purple comet with a pale yellow core at its head. A dark, wet spot appeared amongst the charred remains of his pants (it would be of little comfort to him later that everybody else who was present didn't notice before he was gone).  
**KRAAK-KOOOOOOOOM!**

Ranma winced as dust and smoke washed into him, and then he quickly dashed forward into the destruction Min had wrought, his concern increasing by the second.  
"Damn, I think I used too much power... what if she couldn't keep that much energy at bay?" He mumbled to himself, trying to wave away the smoke as it obscured his search. "MIN! You okay? Where are you?"  
"_Cough! Cough!_ I'm _Cough!_ over here! _Cough!_" Min stumbled out of the smoke drunkenly and collapsed into him, and Ranma blushed furiously as he caught her by the shoulders, being very aware that she was still naked from the waist up.  
"Are you all right? Was that too much power?" The pigtailed boy asked in concern.  
Min couldn't help but feel a soft, fuzzy feeling inside that Ranma was so genuinely worried that he might have hurt her in taking part in her plan. "No, no I'm okay. Did my clothes burn off?"  
Ranma's blush got worse. "Uh, no. Your skirt's just fine." Then he quickly took his jacket back off and offered it once more to his date.  
Min took the jacket gratefully, but hesitated when she noticed how badly flushed Ranma's face was.  
"And what're you so embarrassed about?" She asked, smirking. Then she turned around with the jacket hanging off her shoulder, and not covering anything. "I mean, I don't have anything you don't have half the time, right?"  
Ranma twitched, and turned his head away, still blushing. "D-Don't go there. I 'aint no pervert, all right?"  
_Glomp!_ The pigtailed boy "eeped" as Min hugged him from behind, his thin undershirt providing little protection from her body.  
The buxom Ninja giggled. "Oh, come on. I couldn't possibly call YOU a pervert after what I just went through, now could I? You don't have to be such a gentleman, you know. If all our dates are this interesting, you'll get to do much more than just see my breasts..."  
"M-Maybe I sh-should take you h-home," Ranma squeaked, well aware that he was in dangerous territory. He was already going to be hard pressed to deal with Andy once he got Min back home, and if his date kept up her suggestive displays, it was only going to make it harder to explain things.  
Min sighed and backed off, realizing that she wasn't going to get a better reaction from Ranma so early in the game. Why was he so inhibited, anyway? Did some woman from his past savagely beat him just for having a sex drive?  
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Back at the Tendo dojo, Akane sneezed, constituting her most important appearance for four chapters.  
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Mai sighed as Andy continued to pace the living room, rubbing his chin worriedly as he mumbled to himself. "Andy, dear, you have to calm down. Min's been on dates with men far pushier and opportunistic than Ranma. I'm telling you, SHE'LL BE FINE."  
Andy continued to pace at the same speed, though he stopped mumbling. After a long while, he stopped, and glanced at his wife. "To tell you the truth... I agree. I don't think Ranma's going to make a move on her."  
Mai raised an eyebrow.  
"I mean, he PROBABLY won't... he seems like a decent guy... and seems pretty dumb when it comes to those types of things, anyway..." he snapped out of his mumbling, and made eye contact with his wife again. "Really, I'm more worried about Min."  
Mai said nothing, merely frowning.  
"I mean, I never thought about it before, but she's kind of... impulsive. And rather passionate. And flirtatious. And it's a very awkward age she's at, now..."  
Mai continued to say nothing, and took a sip of tea.  
"And, well, I don't mean anything bad by this, but she takes after you a lot, Mai. And, well, when you and I were, for lack of a better word, 'dating', well..."  
Mai raised an eyebrow, but kept her silence.  
Andy scrubbed his head furiously, getting more nervous by the minute. "I mean, she REALLY likes that kid! And no matter what I said to him, if Min came on to him, would he really stop her?" He turned toward his wife pleadingly. "But I'm probably just overreacting, right? Min wouldn't do that. Especially not on a first date! Right?"  
Mai stared at him expressionlessly for a long moment. "Sorry. I was only prepared to handle irrational concerns about Ranma seducing Min. I can't promise you that she wouldn't jump him instead. Not with a straight face, anyway." She sighed and took a sip of tea as Andy fell to his knees, trembling as he grasped his head.  
"And aren't you at all concerned about this?" Andy asked, twitching.  
Mai blinked. "Concerned that our daughter might take advantage of a naive, unsuspecting teenage boy? Yes, a little. But we can't very well do anything about it from here, can we?"  
"No.. that... it... well... can't..." Andy tried unsuccessfully to put his thoughts together to form an argument against his wife's antipathy. "A-Aren't you concerned that... that she... that she'll do-"  
"Do what we do every night I can get into bed before you're already asleep?" Mai asked.  
Andy nodded furiously.  
Mai sighed and put down her tea. "Honey, I look at it this way: You remember when we were younger? I threw myself at you every chance I got. And after the KoF tournaments? Remember that one Valentines day that I gave you that chocolate cake for Valentine's Day, the one with the high-alcohol raspberry filling? I took you right there on your kitchen table in the apartment, and that was our first time together."  
"Exactly!" Andy said, pointing at her. "Min's so much like you! She just might do something like that!"  
Mai nodded absently, still lost in thought. "I took you right there on the table, and look at us now: happily married, big house, three kids, financial security, a martial arts legacy..."  
Andy jabbed a finger at her again and opened his mouth.  
For a long time, nothing came out.  
"... That's **unfair**." The blond man finally said, slumping down onto the couch beside his wife.  
Mai smiled at seeing her husband admit defeat, and leaned over to hug him. "Aw, it's okay. I know you only worry so much because of how much you love Min." Then she started to massage his shoulder, and her smile turned into a smirk. "Do you want to go upstairs and have a 'sparring session'? I know a few good 'techniques' for cheering up depressed husbands..."  
Andy flushed red, and was about to accept coyly, when the doorbell suddenly rang, interrupting the couple.

Mai frowned and pulled away. "Hmph. What timing. Who the hell could that be at this hour?"  
Andy scratched his head as he got up. "Maybe it's Min and Ranma? But it's only 8:30. The movie doesn't even end for another hour..."  
Walking over to the front door, Andy opened it slowly, and was pleasantly surprised to see that Ranma and Min were both standing outside, wishing each other a good night.  
"Min? I thought you weren't supposed to be back until ten!" Andy said, immensely pleased to see her sooner, but still curious as to why.  
Min giggled a bit and shrugged. "Eh, we decided to ditch the movie. I doubt Ranma would've enjoyed such a chick flick anyway, even if he is a chick half the time."  
"Ah, who asked you?" Ranma said, sticking out his tongue playfully. "Anyway, I had fun. Gimme a call sometime and we can do it again."  
"'Kay! Thanks for lending me your jacket!" Min said cheerfully, waving goodbye to her date.

Andy shut the door, a relieved smile on his face. 'I guess I was just overreacting after all. I gotta get ahold of myself.' "So you had a good time?"  
Min grinned and nodded. "Yeah! Spending time with Ranma is definitely... unique."  
Andy raised an eyebrow, but he didn't detect any innuendo in the comment, so he didn't ask about it. "By the way, why didn't you give Ranma his jacket before he left?" He thought suddenly, realizing that Min still had the large black coat on. "It was nice of him to lend it to you, but I'm surprised you even needed it. It's pretty warm out tonight."  
Min flushed a bit. "Well, it's a bit... complicated. Long story short, I needed something to cover up after I lost my blouse and my bra. But it was nice of him, wasn't it?"  
A very long silence pervaded the Bogard household as Min's parents stared at her, and the teenage Ninja looked around curiously, wondering what was wrong.  
"Oh my," Mai said finally, deciding that she'd have to have a talk with her daughter very soon and make sure she was practicing safe sex. And get the details, of course. Ranma didn't seem very aggressive, but Mai was willing to bet he was a hell of a ride once you got him going.  
_SLAM!_ Andy nearly tore the front door off its hinges as he burst outside and searched the area wildly for his daughter's new boyfriend. "YAGAMI! GET BACK HERE, YOU COWARD!"  
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Elsewhere, quite a distance away, Ranma winced as he heard a man scream his name in patriarchal fury, and the pigtailed boy doubled his already brisk pace back to his house.  
"Man, I swear, one way or another, that girl is going to be the death of me..."

End Chapter 14

**Kagerou no mai** - Sun fire dance: the body is momentarily engulfed in an immobile tower of flames, burning anything it touches.  
**Ranran na ryuu gyorai** - Blazing dragon torpedo: Using Ranma's **hellfire rage** technique as ignition, Min can launch her flaming elbow charge with devastating force. Capable of destroying entire buildings (though that would undoubtedly bring great harm to the projectile, namely Min).


	15. Fire and Ice

Tomas Bogard's Tips for Dating (Conclusion):

Rule #5: Girls are very social creatures. This means that they're very personal and affectionate and get attached to others easily. It also means that they're usually invasive and very judgmental. While it may seem silly to have a "contingency plan" in case you get sucked into a discussion you don't want to be in or are suddenly exposed to criticism and ridicule, it's undeniably a good idea.

"If I'd known you were so short on cash that you couldn't afford proper transportation OR an actual restaurant, I would have suggested a cheaper way to go out. Or just paid myself," Min grumbled bitterly as she poked at Nodoka's sukiyaki, surrounded by her date's relatives.  
"Why? Mom's a great cook!" Ranma insisted between gulps of food.  
"That's not the point," Min growled, a vein popping up on her head. "A date should take place in a restaurant, not at someone's house with their family!"  
"Why should I pay money for food that isn't as good as what I can get at home? Just so we can have people sitting right behind us instead of right next to us?" Ranma asked, feeling a slight chill as he realized that he had been drawn into an unwinnable conflict.  
Yurumi sweatdropped at seeing the oncoming argument. Nodoka and Iori, for their part, completely ignored the exchange, eating quietly as if nothing was happening.  
"Are you really so cheap that you won't pay to take your girlfriend OUT on a date?" Min seethed, causing the pigtailed boy to start sweating nervously.  
"But... uh..." 'Uh-oh. This is getting ugly. Think fast, Ranma!'  
"Or is this about me?" Min asked, becoming more enraged and forgetting that she was a guest. "Am I not GOOD ENOUGH to spend a couple thousand yen on for dinner? Can I expect to pay for everything in this relationship? Do you even CARE?"  
_Thud!_ Ranma's eyes rolled into the back of his head, and he fell over backward, sprawled out over the dining room floor.  
Min stared for a long while at Ranma's unmoving form, then slowly turned toward the rest of the Yagami family.  
"Uhm... did he just faint, or..."  
"He's playing dead," Iori said suddenly, before taking a sip of tea. Putting down the cup he continued, never once making eye contact with the Ninja girl. "He won't move again until you leave, let your guard down enough for him to escape, or until he's almost died from dehydration."  
Min accepted the strange explanation silently, then glanced at her date's unmoving form. "Dehydration? Does it come to that often?"  
"No, that's only stopped him once," Nodoka answered calmly, as if making perfectly normal conversation. "And he STILL didn't get out of that math test."

Rule #6: Don't ever criticize a girl unless you're completely prepared for a bitter, drawn-out, no-holds-barred verbal war. EVER. No matter how insignificant the flaw, no matter how gently delivered the criticism, and no matter how rational, well-supported, or self-evident your comment is, it will provoke a lethal barrage of defensive insults that can only lead to a fight. It may be worth it (for example, if one can get a critical point across and possibly make up passionately later), but men should be warned to never offer criticisms without being prepared for the inevitable conflict.

"Okay, fine, you're right," Ranma said carefully as he led the way down the street back to Min's house. "I should've at least told you that we'd be eating at my place ahead of time."  
Min nodded sharply, her arms crossed under her breasts.  
Steeling himself, the pigtailed boy continued. "But let's be fair about this. You know I have no actual income. You know I've lived on the road for most of my life. And I told you that I hardly dated at all before now. Don't you think you were being just a little unreasonable, throwing a fit in front of my family like that just because the date wasn't what you expected?"  
Immediately he covered his head with his arms and squeezed his eyes shut, expecting a vicious retaliation.  
Min frowned, then reluctantly nodded. "I guess you're right. I was expecting a bit much. I'm just used to guys throwing money at me, I guess. And I certainly could have..." she trailed off as she passed by her date, and blinked when she noticed he looked as if he was expecting an artillery barrage. "Hey, are you okay?"  
"For the moment," Ranma answered, not moving his arms.  
"Oh. Uh..." Min raised an eyebrow. "What are you doing?"  
"Preparing for you to get mad for no reason, overreact, and then yell and hit me in an irrational rage, like all women are supposed to do," Ranma said, being far too honest for his own good, as usual. "Hmmm... maybe I should rephrase that..."  
"No, no!" Min said in a high-pitched voice as she cracked her knuckles, "I wouldn't want to disappoint you!" _POW!_

Rule #7: It is a well-respected and absolute rule that no matter how nice and tolerant you are on the date, and no matter how much you spend on the girl, she is under no obligation to give you any action, including minor gestures of affection like a peck on the lips or a slightly naughty hug.  
It is also a well-known and more flexible understanding that if a girl is going to go out with a guy, that guy should get what he pays for (capitalist society, people!). After all, if a girl won't let a guy touch her no matter how nice he is or much money he spends, what's she going out with him for? Here's a general table so that you know what to expect when you spend a certain amount of money on her (usually applies to third date and after):  
Nothing - Go home cold and alone. Be thankful she didn't slap you for wasting her evening.  
1,000 yen (about $10) - A "thank you" would be nice. You'll be lucky if you get one.  
2,000 yen (about $20) - Hope for a peck on the lips and a nice smile.  
4,500 yen (about $40) - Get some tongue on your way back, you deserve it!  
7,000 yen (about $60) - Warning: you may end up spending even more tonight (on condoms).  
11,000 yen (about $95) - Somebody's getting lucky, and it's not not you!  
Remember, no matter how much you spend, a girl doesn't actually **owe** you anything, and it's never okay to pressure her or demand physical affection in return for your time and money. So if you're not getting any bang for your buck, just dump the little money-grubbing nymph. She can find some other walking bank to leech off of.

Ranma nodded decisively as he opened the gate to Min's house, and stepped aside as the Ninja girl walked into her front yard, an unreadable expression on her face.  
"Well, I know it wasn't a perfect evening, but I had fun. I'll give ya a call this weekend, all right?" Ranma said, turning away and preparing to leave.  
"Wait," Min said suddenly, grabbing his sleeve. "Say... you wanna come in? Maybe come up to my room and fool around a bit?"  
Ranma's eyes widened in disbelief, and he stared at Min, slack-jawed. "Wha... but... why? Why would you... I mean... you didn't even enjoy yourself!" He asserted, stunned. 'What gives? The only money I spent today was for the game I played while I was waiting for her!'  
Min stared back with a perfectly serious expression. "You're right, I didn't. Which means that indulging raging teenage hormones is my last chance to have any fun tonight. So? How about it?"  
Ranma stood shock-still for a moment, then he frowned deeply and turned toward the house.  
"HEY! TOMAS! YOU THERE?" Ranma shouted, cupping his hands around his mouth, and causing Min to wince and flinch away.  
After a few moment, one of the upstairs windows opened, and the blond American boy poked his head out. "What? What's wrong?"  
_Thwack!_ Ranma beaned the alarmed teenager with a rock, causing him to shout in surprise.  
"You moron! Your 'rules for dating' is total bull! You don't know anything about girls!" Ranma accused.  
"Ow! Sonuva..." Tomas held his bleeding head tenderly, and then glared at the pigtailed boy. "Well, if YOU know so bloody much, don't go asking me for advice, jerk!"  
"I DIDN'T ask for your advice! You dragged me from school and seated me in your living room!"  
"Don't give me that! You could have left at any time!"  
Min twitched as the shouting escalated, and slumped forward wearily. "Suddenly I have a headache..."

Now on the with the show!

Yagami 1/2  
A Ranma 0.5/King of Fighters Crossover  
by Black Tomas' "Rules for Dating" omake series is a hit! However, I don't have enough dating experience (nor have a seen enough episodes of Friends) to manage a third installment. I think next time I'll go back to beer commercials.  
On another note, I've heard many discussions recently about the way most people portray Nodoka, and the way I portray Nodoka, which has become a stereotype wildly separate from the reality of canon. In my defense, I COULD portray her as a normal if traditionalistic Japanese mother who just wants to make sure her son likes women... but where's the fun in that?

Notes: _Sounds_, **Emphasis or techniques**, Written words, 'Thoughts', "Dialogue", "Dialogue in a different language"

Chapter 15  
Fire and Ice

"Mom? Yurumi said you wanted to talk to me," Ranma said as he descended the stairs, noticing his mother seated at the dining room table.  
Nodoka nodded slightly, looking serene as she kneeled on the floor in her kimono, her hands folded together in her lap. "Yes. Have a seat, Ranma."  
The pigtailed boy frowned suspiciously, stopping to look around the dining room. 'Hmmm... I don't sense anyone... but why do I have this creeping feeling up my spine? Am I in trouble?'  
Relenting, Ranma sat down across from Nodoka, though he still looked slightly tense.  
Nodoka nodded slightly. "First, how are you feeling? Are you all right?"  
Ranma blinked. "Uh... yes. I'm fine. Why?"  
Nodoka nodded again. "I see. It's nothing. I just wanted to talk to you, is all." Then she turned her head toward the kitchen. "Why don't we have some tea while we're talking? Smithers! Tea, please!"  
Ranma raised an eyebrow. "Uh... Mom? We don't have a butl-" he nearly bit his tongue when an unshaven man in a servant's tunic entered the room from the kitchen, carrying a tray with two empty cups and a steaming kettle.  
Frowning at Ranma, who was staring at him incredulously, the man walked up to the table and placed the platter down before carefully lifting the kettle and pouring the tea, making sure to keep his head down humbly the entire time in imitation of traditional Eastern house servants.  
"M-Mom?" Ranma asked hesitantly. "Who's he?" He was pretty certain he would have been told if there was going to be a manservant around the house. In addition to that, the relatively unkempt appearance and rough musculature of the man definitely indicated that petty indoor work was not his primary trade.  
"You don't recognize him?" Nodoka asked, looking slightly surprised as she picked up her cup in both hands. "He's the man you brought here last week. It was after that big party you went to, remember?"  
Ranma's eyes widened. "He hasn't left yet?"  
"You haven't let me GO yet," the man said, trying with much difficulty to keep his voice from a growl.  
"What?"  
Seeing her son's confusion, Nodoka explained. "Well, he IS a hostage, and the construction yard won't negotiate since your father sold the steam shovel you brought home to have the yard rebuilt. And since we've been feeding him all this time, I decided that he should start to earn his keep."  
The man's eyebrow twitched, and a vein popped up on his head as Ranma stared at him in bewilderment.  
After a long moment of watching their new servant grind his teeth, Ranma turned back toward Nodoka. "His name is Smithers?"  
_Thud!_  
Nodoka shrugged as she took a long sip of tea, though she frowned at the former construction worker. Facefaulting was very unprofessional when there was breakable objects nearby. 'I'll have to chastise him later.'  
"I have no idea what his name is," she explained, "I just call him that. Anyway, enough about that. Smithers, you may leave now."  
"Yes, Mistress," Smithers almost growled, bowing and then walking back into the kitchen.

"So, you went out last night. I take it things didn't go very well?" Nodoka asked, looking concerned.  
"Grk!" Ranma nearly spilled his own tea at Nodoka's question. 'What? How did she... wait... is she talking about Happousai or Min? How would she even KNOW about Happousai's attack?'  
Deciding that Nodoka's query could have resulted from too many possible sources, Ranma decided to play it safe.  
"Wh-What makes you say that?"  
"Why, the fact that you came home by yourself!" Nodoka said, still looking slightly distressed, "What happened? Did you forget to bring protection?"  
"What? But... wait, 'protection'?" Ranma mumbled in confusion. 'Does she mean a weapon? She knows I can protect myself. But why would I come home with somebody else?'  
Nodoka shook her head and put her tea down. "Ranma, if you're going to go out with a girl, there's no reason why you shouldn't spend the night with her."  
Ranma twitched badly as the final puzzle piece clicked into place.  
"Oh. Uh... it just... didn't happen like that," Ranma explained, flushing badly.  
"I see..." Nodoka mumbled, frowning deeply. ''Just didn't happen' means that she wouldn't make or accept any advances. What's wrong with this girl?' "Tell me, who did you go out with?" She asked, her eyes narrowing slightly as she raised her cup to her lips.  
"Her name is Min Bogard," Ranma explained, "she's Tomas' cousin. She was over the morning after... uh... the morning after we got Smithers."  
"Ah, I remember her." Nodoka said, still looking strangely grim. "She's a beautiful girl."  
"Yeah. She really is," Ranma agreed cautiously, wondering where his mother was going with this.  
"You should be careful," Nodoka said sagaciously, holding her tea close over her chest. "Girls who benefit that much from puberty during high school can become jaded; they start to use their looks to manipulate men. Rather than humbly appreciating their beauty and pursuing love, they wallow in the attention and use their looks as a tool to get kindnesses they have no intention of reciprocating. They're despicable seductresses who will promise the world and take it instead."  
Ranma tried his best to follow Nodoka's lesson without sweatdropping or rolling his eyes. "Oh. Okay."  
Stopping to take a sip of tea, Nodoka once again locked eyes with her son. "Tell me about Min. I only remember seeing her briefly."  
"Sure... she's... well, she's very athletic, and a good fighter," Ranma began, starting with the traits that he liked best. "She's fun to be around, she's pretty smart, and she has a good sense of humor... her tastes are a little weird though, and she's really volatile. Prone to mood swings," he finished.  
"Hm... and what do you think of her overall?"  
Ranma shifted slightly, becoming more and more uncomfortable with the interrogation/lesson. "Hmmm... I like being with her... though a lot of the time I'm afraid she's going to attack me out of nowhere. Ninja do that sometimes, and, well, she's a bit loopy."  
"I see..." Nodoka mumbled before taking a long sip of tea. Then she put down her empty cup. "You do seem a bit attached to her. Are there any reasons why you wouldn't take her to bed?"  
Again, Ranma felt his face heating up as he was thrown haphazardly into unfamiliar territory. "Urgh... well... it seemed a bit, ya know, EARLY to try something like that on our first date..."  
"Bah. Nonsense," Nodoka dismissed immediately. "Kids today mature sexually much faster than my generation, and they're always rushing headlong into intimate relationships. There's no reason why an energetic, handsome young man like yourself shouldn't do exactly the same. There's nothing wrong with it."  
"Uh... I, um..." Ranma found himself flat-footed as he tried to defend his abstinence. "Well, her dad doesn't agree with that, that's for sure." 'Whew! Crisis averted!' he thought foolishly.  
"Ah! Now the truth comes out!" Nodoka said, smirking as she fingered her lower lip. "A protective father, eh?"  
"A protective father who holds a title as one of the best martial artists on the planet, and threatened me with dismemberment if I touched Min in naughty places," Ranma explained, feeling much more relaxed now that the focus was off him.  
"Mm, I see," Nodoka nodded in understanding, and smiled. "Leave it to my son to aim for a challenge. Maybe I could talk with her..."  
"Actually, I'd rather she didn't know that I can't touch her because I'm afraid her dad will murder me," Ranma said seriously, leaning back to rest on his elbows. 'Especially since it isn't true.'  
"I understand," Nodoka said dismissively as she poured herself a new cup of tea. "I suppose you're committed to doing it the hard way; a long, gentle relationship to gain the father's trust, followed by a glorious, hard-earned conquest."  
"Sure. Totally committed," Ranma mumbled, not having the will to try and dispel his mother's bizarre illusions.  
"Even so, it would probably be best if you started dating someone else, too," Nodoka took a sip of tea as Ranma's elbows slipped forward, dropping the back of his head painfully on the floor.  
Bouncing back up into a sitting position, Ranma stared hard at his mother to try and detect some faint signs of jest in her expression. He found none.  
"Are you serious? Date someone else? Why?"  
Nodoka blinked, and then put down her tea. "Well, your relationship with Min probably won't yield results for another week or so, and your friend Shampoo is on vacation, so she can't take care of your needs in bed-"  
"She's on a training trip, not on vacation," Ranma corrected, consciously choosing to focus on the error so that he could ignore what had followed it.  
"Whatever. Anyway, you should find a different girl to keep you busy until you can take Min. Maybe you could pick up with that Nabiki girl again?" Nodoka asked, nodding to herself as if the matter had been decided.  
"I'd rather not," Ranma said sharply, his mood darkening at the mention of Nabiki. When Nodoka gave him a questioning look, he winced. 'I didn't think I'd ever have to explain monogamy to someone. Especially my own mother.' "What I mean is, I really think Min would get angry if I dated someone else. She's a little dangerous when she's angry."  
"You think she would mind? Why? You're not going steady, are you?" Nodoka asked, looking genuinely confused by the possibility. "You can't possibly tie yourself down with one girl when you're so young and virile, Ranma!"  
"Yeah... not really the point..." Ranma murmured, idly wondering what "going steady" meant. "Remember what I said about Min? She's moody, aggressive, and violent. I'm pretty sure she'd kill me if I dated someone else while we were going out."  
Nodoka sighed deeply, putting down her tea as she finally stood up. "I see. Well, if you ask me, this girl is far more trouble than she's worth, but it's not my place to get involved like that."  
'Not your place to get involved? You just spent ten minutes getting involved!' Ranma thought, sweatdropping.  
"I'm glad we had this little talk, Ranma," Nodoka said, picking up the tea pot. "Just remember that girls who won't put out aren't worth your time; you have needs, too."  
"I'll keep that in mind," Ranma mumbled weakly. 'My mother is a loon.'  
Nodoka nodded absently as she turned away and headed toward the kitchen. "Smithers, why don't you go ahead an begin lunch? I'll be going out with my husband this evening..."

Ranma took a bit longer to recover from the conversation, and rubbed his forehead as he thought hard about what Nodoka had said, and all the things wrong with it.  
After a moment, Iori descended the stairs, and took a moment to glance around the room. "Is your mother finished talking to you?"  
Ranma jerked to attention, startled by the sudden presence. 'Damn it, why can't I ever sense him behind me?' "Yeah, she's done."  
Iori nodded and then approached the kitchen table, the daily newspaper under one arm. Then he sat down across from Ranma and opened up the paper, clearly not intending to get involved in what had just happened.  
Still, Ranma had to try. "So... did you **hear** that?" The pigtailed boy asked. "Mom was saying I should cheat on Min since I didn't sleep with her right away! Is she nuts?"  
Iori's eyes shifted slightly to stare over the newspaper at his son. The redheaded patriarch had intended to express that this sort of nonsense was commonplace, and that he didn't want to get involved. Unfortunately, his face changed in expression as much as it usually did: that is to say, slightly less than the average pickle jar.  
Seeing how Ranma was still staring at him in expectation of an answer, Iori gave a short grunt and let the newspaper fall flat onto the table.  
"When your mother was pregnant with you, she tried to convince me to take a mistress because eventually she would be in no shape to have sex. I refused. She got angry and made me sleep on the couch for two weeks."  
Ranma's eyes went wide, and then slowly shrank back to normal size as he processed that information. "... You know, a 'yes' would have done just fine."  
Iori grunted noncommitally and picked up his newspaper again.  
"So, what would you do, Pop?" Ranma asked.  
The elder Yagami growled slightly, but lowered his paper again, rationalizing that giving advice about stupid, irrelevant things like his son's love life was just another annoying responsibility that came with fatherhood. "Well, do you want to sleep with this chick?"  
Ranma shrugged. "Eh. I'm not really concerned about it."  
"Then I'd ignore Nodoka and get on with my life. Just do whatever you want," the redhead said before once again turning back toward his newspaper.  
'That's my pop,' Ranma thought ruefully, 'a bastion of parental guidance and wisdom.'  
Sighing, the pigtailed boy got up and stretched. "Well, I think it's for the best I take off for today. Maybe I'll see what Hashiru's doing."  
"Take Yurumi with you," Iori said off-handedly. "Your mother wants to go out this afternoon, and none of the babysitters around here will watch her."  
Ranma frowned. "Uh... Hashiru's territory isn't a real... 'kid-friendly' place, if you know what I mean."  
"Then you'll just have to keep a close eye on her," Iori insisted in his leaden monotone.  
"Okay... but why won't any of the local babysitters work for us? Yurumi's pretty mild-mannered," Ranma scratched his head in confusion. "Does she give strangers a hard time or something?"  
"I don't know," Iori admitted, still not making eye contact as he read the paper, "but I'd have to guess they're afraid of being cremated."  
There was an awkward silence as the younger Yagami sweatdropped. "Ah. Okay. I'll go get her..."  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So you and Ranma **didn't** do anything intimate?" Mai asked as she sat on the foot of Min's bed, staring at her daughter critically.  
Min sighed as she massaged her head, sitting cross-legged in the middle of her bedspread. "Well, we teamed up in a masterful plan to defeat a far superior opponent, utilizing perfectly synchronized timing and attack patterns and eventually a two-person fighting technique. Does that count as 'intimate'?"  
"No, it doesn't," the older Ninja said, dismissing the mention of a fight to get back to more carnal concerns. "I think you know exactly what I mean, young lady."  
Min rolled her eyes. "No mother, I didn't sleep with Ranma."  
Mai's eyes narrowed. "Are you SURE?"  
"Of course I'm sure!" Min said, sweatdropping. "I'd have to be pretty out of it not to be aware of something like that! Like I said, I lost my shirt when we were attacked!"  
Mai continued frowning at her daughter, attempting to detect some trace of dishonesty.  
Finally, she relented, convinced at last that nothing inappropriate had happened during Min's date. "Sigh. Oh well. We should probably talk anyway..."  
"You look disappointed," Min said, twitching.  
"Well, I WAS hoping for a good story," Mai admitted. "And besides, now there's going to be even more friction between Ranma and your father. I would just feel a little better if Ranma at least got what he's going to end up paying for."  
Min's expression darkened further. "Yeah. About that. What's up with Dad? He's seemed really tense lately, and when I mentioned Ranma this morning, he looked like he was about to go berserk." She turned toward her mother, looking worried. "Dad's never been this concerned with my love life before. What's his problem with Ranma?"  
Mai sighed and scooted over closer to the younger Ninja, placing an arm around her back. "Well, that's simple. You see, while you've dated before, and while I **suspect** you've even mounted a few stallions already..."  
Min jerked back at the almost casual accusation, her face flushed red. Mai just smirked at her.  
"... Simply put, the situation was different then. Your father, or for that matter anyone else, could take a quick glance at you and whatever guy you deemed worthy to buy you nice things and tell immediately that you were in complete control of the relationship. You're smart, self-confident, absolutely gorgeous, and you can snap a third dan black belt in half like a dry twig. Men bowed and scraped at your feet, and you freely took whatever you wanted in exchange for a nice smile. Any time a boy got anywhere with you, it was only because you wanted HIM to please YOU. Men were your puppets, so to speak."  
Min's face darkened substantially. "Dear God! Was I really acting like that?" She asked in distress, more than a little ashamed. While she knew she flaunted her charms far more often than a girl of her sexual conservativism should have, she'd thought of it as harmless teasing. She'd always openly despised manipulative people, and hearing evidence of her hypocrisy was a severe blow to her self-image.  
"Yes, you were, and until recently I was on the verge of having a long talk with you about that, but it's a moot point now," Mai pulled her daughter a bit closer as she leaned in. "You see, Andy cares about you, not the sap of the week you use to get a free meal. As long as he was sure that you could take complete advantage of your date rather than vice versa, he had no reason to worry."  
Min gulped as Mai pulled her in even closer, so that their cheeks were almost touching.  
"But now the tables have turned, and your father doesn't like that. Ranma's stronger than you, not easily pushed around, and apparently has complete control of his libido. He isn't willing to go to great lengths to please you without some kind of reciprocation." Slowly, she moved her head so that she could whisper directly into Min's ear. "But most importantly, YOU'RE the one who wants to get in HIS pants..."  
"MOM!" Min suddenly shouted, scrambling out of Mai's grasp while her face burned a bright red.  
Mai just smirked, and crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm right, aren't I? For the first time, the man holds the power in the relationship. For the first time, you're more interested in him than he is in you. Not easy working on the other side, is it?"  
The younger Ninja grimaced, her face still flushed. "So that's why Dad's making such a fuss? Because I don't have Ranma wrapped around my finger?"  
"It's more than that," Mai elaborated. "Essentially, it comes down to this: if Ranma said that he wanted you to sleep with him, what would you do?"  
"I'd tell him I wasn't ready, and that he shouldn't be such a lech," Min said decisively, turning her blushing face away while crossing her arms under her breasts.  
"Like hell you would," Mai deadpanned. "Tell the truth, Min. It's just us girls here."  
Min twitched, and lowered her head. "I'd tear his pants off and ask him where he wanted me..."  
"There you go. See?" Mai patted her daughter on the back. "Fortunately, Ranma seems to be very good-natured and apathetic about that sort of thing, so I can't imagine he'd make such a demand."  
"Hmph. 'Apathetic' is a good word for it, all right," the younger Ninja grumbled out loud. "For all his good points, he sure doesn't know how to make a girl feel appreciated."  
Mai chuckled and gently took one of Min's hands. "Well, that's something we'll have to work on, then. And until we get there, make sure to pack a few rubbers, hmm?" Seeing her daughter's blush return anew, Mai fingered her chin. "Oh! And if you expect to get in more fights dating him, you should probably pack your weapons, too."  
"Thanks, I've figured that much out," Min mumbled, finally getting up off her bed. "Well, I guess I'll drop by his house and give him back his jacket. He might not be coming back on his own for a while." Picking up the carefully folded garment that laid on her nightstand, she reached the door and began to step out into the hall.  
Hesitating, she glanced back at her mother, and then turned. "Mom? Uh... thanks for the support. I appreciate how you don't... you know, get all preachy and stuff."  
Mai snorted as she smirked at Min. "Please. I was young once, too. All things considered, if the father is causing more trouble than the teenager, then we're doing pretty darn well, parenting-wise. Just be careful not to get pregnant, okay?"  
Min nodded, no longer quite as embarrassed to discuss such a thing with her mother. "Right, right. Gotta go!"

Upon exiting her room, Min descended the stairs while tucking Ranma's jacket under her arm, only to find Tomas waiting for her at the bottom, leaning casually against the wall.  
"Hey Tomas. Something wrong?" The Ninja girl asked, noting that her cousin looked especially serious.  
"Wrong? No, no. Nothing's wrong," Tomas answered, turning toward her and standing up straight. "Taking Yagami his jacket? I should probably go with you," the street fighter said, trying to sound casual.  
And failing miserably, at that. Min raised an eyebrow at Tomas' deliberate tone of voice and careful pronunciation. While the American sometimes had trouble with more complicated sentences in Japanese and often spoke carefully whenever he had to describe something in detail, he had been in Japan long enough to spit out such a casual sentence without hesitation.  
She crossed her arms over her chest. "Tomas, did Dad put you up to this?"  
"Huh? Of course not," he said as droplets of sweat beaded underneath his cap. "It's just a nice day for a walk, and I'd like to stop by Ranma's place again. You know, see if he's come up with a counter for the **aurora fang** or something."  
Min sweatdropped as the blond boy made frantic hand gestures indicating that he was mere moments away from death and pleading for her cooperation.  
"_Sigh_. Okay, fine. Come on," Min grumbled, massaging her forehead as she led Tomas past the kitchen toward the front door.  
Stopping in the living room, she took a moment out of her trip to glare at Andy, who was seated on the couch reading the newspaper inconspicuously.  
"Dad? I'm going out now," she said in hard-edged voice, "and when I get back, you and I have to have a long talk."  
Andy blinked innocently, turning toward his daughter. "A talk? About what?"  
"When I get back," Min mumbled dismissively, turning away toward the front door. "C'mon Tomas."  
Tomas hesitated to follow for a moment, as he was not so fully informed as to the current situation in the Bogard household, and thus didn't know why Andy was acting as if from ignorance.  
His lingering view of the long-haired man caught the elder martial artist's parting expression, which was a cold, hard stare right into the blond boy's eyes.  
'Aw, crap. How'd I get caught up in this?' Tomas thought as he quickly followed Min out the door. While he really didn't think Andy would seriously hurt him for failing to preserve his cousin's chastity, he certainly didn't want to gain any enmity from the owner of the household. But neither did he want to interfere in Min's affairs, or for that matter, keep Ranma from enjoying the ultimate benefits of a teenage romance. Ranma was actually a decent guy, and treated Min with nothing but respect, so what was Andy's problem with him, anyway?  
'I think it all started with 'Hey Dad, do you think we could visit Uncle Andy this year?' Should've set a date to return.'

Once the two got outside, Min quickly grabbed Tomas' arm and dragged him past the fence surrounding her home so that they were completely out of sight from any of the house windows.  
"All right Tomas, I know Dad has been intimidating people behind my back, so spit it out. What's your deal?" She asked irritably, glaring at the blond boy.  
"Well, originally Andy told me to follow you around and take out Ranma if he touched you," Tomas said immediately, perfectly happy to rat out his older relative. "But after last night, I'm supposed to keep you away from Ranma entirely, if at all possible. Which I'm guessing it's not."  
"No, it's not," Min said, scowling. "And I'd appreciate it if you didn't interfere with my love life."  
"Hey, hey! Don't get all upset with me!" Tomas said, raising his hands up to ward her off. "I didn't want to get involved in the first place! I mean, I'm Ranma's friend too! What do I care if you two made out on your first date? I don't!"  
Min twitched. "'Made out,' huh? Did Dad tell you that?"  
"No, Uncle Andy said you came home wearing Ranma's jacket because you lost your top and your bra," Tomas said, being careful to keep a straight face.  
"And you automatically assume that because I lost half my outfit, that me and Ranma had sex?" Min said, sounding scandalized.  
Tomas stared at her, wondering if he should be upset or embarrassed. "I swear, if you tell me this is another stupid Japanese thing..." The American grabbed the bill of his cap and shifted it slightly as he muttered to himself.  
"Well... okay, fine," Min admitted, losing much of her steam as she turned away and started walking. "I admit it must've looked pretty damning on the outside... but still, it didn't occur to **anybody** that maybe I was caught in a battle with an evil, lecherous little freak who destroyed my blouse?"  
"That was my second guess. Really." Tomas deadpanned. "Anyway, I'm taking off. If Andy asks, you ditched me," the American mumbled, putting his hands in his pockets and turning away.  
Min likewise turned away, holding the jacket firmly under her arm. 'Definitely going to have to talk to Dad.'  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So this is the place... hmmm..."  
Walking along the streets of the Tokyo suburb, the young redheaded woman gazed stoically at the street sign noting the border of the Nerima district for a long moment before she shouldered her pack and continued on, not giving any apparent notice to the pedestrians or street vendors that gave her lingering stares.  
She started to continue onward when a police officer noticed her and stepped forward from where he had been leaning on his patrol car.  
"Hi there! You look like you're new in town!" The man said amiably.  
The redhead stopped and stared at the man expressionlessly.  
"A traveler, right? We actually get a lot of those," the officer continued, gesturing to her backpack. "Anyway, you should... uhm..." he trailed off as the young woman turned away and continued on her path, completely ignoring the officer.  
The man twitched in irritation, unused to being treated so rudely. "Hmph! Well, I hope the brat gets mauled by street punks, then," he turned around, shaking his head.  
After a cursory glance at the peaceful surroundings to ensure that there were no other matters that required his attention, he backed up and reached for the door of his car. He had just opened it when he felt someone tap him on the shoulder.  
"Hm?" He turned around, and then jumped slightly as he noticed the same young woman from before staring at him stonily. She had short, spiky hair that was a bright, blood red in color, and had an unusually muscular build with a nearly flat bust and very rugged features. She was wearing a white tanktop and blue nylon cargo pants, as well as hiking boots, all of which had been stained by dirt and severely worn by the elements.  
"You mentioned street punks?" She said in a monotone, staring up at him.  
The officer twitched. 'Crap, she heard me... uh...' Taking a quick glance over her body, he was relieved to see that the girl didn't have an ankh emblem anywhere, although his eyes did linger on her right arm, where a solid black tattoo of ivy vines wound around her bicep, and at the battered amulet hanging around her neck, which was shaped like a crescent moon rather than the ancient Egyptian mark. "Er... yes, actually. I was going to warn you about them. And then you left while I was talking to you." Praying internally that she wasn't a martial artist of any great caliber, he crossed his arms over his chest and stared down at the redhead sternly.  
"I'm listening now. So warn me," she said in the same monotone, giving the officer a half-lidded stare.  
The man twitched, but did as she requested. "This district is well-known for its high martial artist population, is all. While some of them are respectable, decent people, a great number of them are destructive lunatics that spend all day fighting for idiotic reasons. Most of the time there's a great deal of collateral damage, so we try to warn people to minimize civilian injuries."  
"Is that all?" The girl asked, looking slightly disappointed.  
"Well... actually, there's a martial artist gang around here that you might want to look out for, too," the officer said, rubbing his chin.  
The redhead raised an eyebrow.  
"We don't usually bother telling newcomers about them, because they're actually very careful about civilian casualties and tend to cause less trouble than the independent martial artists... but they have been unusually active lately, so you might want to avoid their territory."  
"Where is their territory?" the girl asked immediately.  
Blinking, the police officer tapped his chin in thought, then pointed down the street to his right. "It starts about three blocks that way, encompassing part of the warehouse district and Akumaru Private School. They're called Clan Ra, and they're supposed to be really strong fighters, but they very rarely attack people who don't cause trouble first, so you shouldn't have to worry."  
"Hmm... I see." Without offering any thanks, the redheaded girl turned in the direction he had pointed. "We'll see about that."  
The police officer frowned again at the girl's rudeness. 'Hmm... she has the bearings of a trouble-maker...' "Pardon me, but would you mind telling me your name, Miss?"  
The girl stopped and turned her head slightly so that a single eye glared out dangerously from underneath her unkempt bangs. "Setsuna." She said it with a fair amount of ice, and the officer couldn't help but shudder slightly.  
"And your surname, Ms. Setsuna?"  
She held her position for a moment more. "Hanabo. For now."  
The officer twitched as she suddenly started forward again. "Hey, wait! What do you mean, 'for now'? Is that some kind of alias?"  
This time, however, Setsuna didn't stop, and the police officer shook his head in disgust as the redhead openly ignored him. "Hmph. Kids these days..."  
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"Relax, Shampoo. Being excited makes this harder, not easier," Shower mumbled as she kept her eyes shut, a vein popping up on her head.  
Shampoo, who was currently sitting cross-legged on a large rock, shuddered terribly as visible wisps of breath puffed from her mouth with every heavy breath. She was bound to the rock in her current position by massive tendrils of ice that wrapped around her arms and legs and kept her from moving a muscle, which wouldn't have been quite so bad if she wasn't completely naked as well.  
"Sh-Shamp-poo s-s-sorry, Mas-ster Sh-Shower," the Amazon girl chattered, "is hard t-to k-keep calm when s-s-so c-cold..."  
"Yes, well, this exercise is USUALLY done with a pool of ice water, not actual ice," Shower said irritably as she continued to power the ice tendrils with one hand while holding the other one to Shampoo's forehead, "but apparently you have ISSUES with cold water that you didn't tell me about!" Next to the elderly widow laid several bottles of herbal shampoo labeled by various numbers.  
Shampoo winced. "S-S-Sorry..." then she frowned. "Is s-sure technique not w-work when c-c-cat?"  
"I have no idea," Shower admitted, still looking annoyed. "But I'd feel damn ridiculous trying to hypnotize a cat, so I'm not going to do it."  
A vein popped up on the younger Amazon's head.  
'No! No angry thoughts! Calm, cool thoughts! Do not think about throttling your martial arts master! Bad!'  
"You're going to pass out soon," Shower said, calming herself as she prepared her student for the trial ahead, "however, your consciousness will remain active. The best way I can describe what will happen is a very vivid dream. During that time, I'll be providing the subliminal programming that will overtake your core personality. Given that you'll be in a dream while this is happening, the effects will likely be significant and frightening. It's important that you don't resist."  
Shampoo swallowed nervously, and Shower caught the younger warrior glancing at her.  
Shower smirked. "This is it, Shampoo. Last chance to back down. With enough pressure, you can break free of your bonds, wash your hands of this training, and return home with your mind untouched. Or, you can let a bitter old widow mess with your head for an hour, and then commit to weeks of emotional traumatizing psycho-conditioning. I have to say, you'll probably regret either decision."  
Shampoo twitched, but didn't move as her eyelids slowly fluttered weakly. 'Oh no. What have I gotten myself into?'  
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At once, the haze around Shampoo's eyes began to clear as she got up off the ground, holding her head in a vain attempt to stave off the sudden aching.  
"Aiyah... what happen? Shampoo no remember migraine..." she mumbled as she staggered to her feet, squeezing her eyes tight.  
To her surprise, she felt a sudden chill, and the headache vanished.  
Blinking, she finally started to take in her surroundings, and the purple-haired girl stared in wonder. She was in the middle of an icy forest, with beautiful, frozen evergreen trees surrounding her in all directions. The ground was hidden beneath soft, fresh powder, and a light, pleasant snow slowly fell from above.  
'What did she say the dream would be like? Frightening?' She thought, frowning. Looking down at herself, she noted that instead of being nude like her actual body, she was wearing a complete Winter outfit. However, she was surprised to see that instead of the plain, drab Winter clothes of her homeland, she was wearing a thick, stylish coat made of artificial fibers and machine-stitched wool that she had seen in the shopping centers of Japan, along with nylon pants and rubber-lined snow boots.  
'Hmmm... this is very odd.' Shampoo's frown deepened. While her current surroundings appeared to be quite calm and pleasant as opposed to her master's expectations, Shampoo knew better. Shower alone knew the ins and outs of the technique she was performing, and it was far too early in the procedure to hope that the older woman didn't know what she was talking about.  
Setting out in a random direction, Shampoo started to take in more of the forest, marveling at the numerous pines coated with thick layers of sparkling ice.  
'Okay... considering this hypnosis thing is supposed to ingraine the 'Soul of Ice' technique, it's no surprise there's a Winter theme here...' she continued looking about carefully, searching for any signs of life.  
She more or less found what she was looking for when a small ice statue stomped into view ahead of her, pushing a large ball of snow.  
Shampoo's eyes bugged out. Walking before her, and apparently trying to roll up a snowman body, was a moving figure that appeared to be delicately carved from solid ice, yet moved with the fluidity and natural articulation of a regular human. Once she got over the initial surprise of seeing a moving ice doll, Shampoo's jaw went slack as she realized that the statue was the exact image of Ranma's little sister Yurumi.  
"Yurumi? Why you here?" Shampoo mumbled weakly, scratching her head.  
The statue turned its head, gazing at Shampoo with glassy, expressionless eyes. And then it smiled and waved before quickly returning to its former task.  
"Okay... that strange, but not scary," Shampoo muttered to herself, watching the ice Yurumi stop and pat down the snowman body. Then it leaned over and picked up an armful of snow, shaping it into the next segment.  
So engrossed was Shampoo in watching the strange statue that she didn't notice the strange figure behind her until it had already passed her and entered her field of vision.  
She jerked back, startled, as she watched the gray, man-shaped thing lumber past her, apparently unconcerned with the Amazon at all. It was shaped like a relatively muscular man, but had shadowy flat stretches of skin over the face and crotch, making it look more like a gigantic clay doll than a living person.  
It also carried a large wood axe.  
Shampoo's heart skipped a beat as she watched the gray man shamble over toward the happily oblivious ice statue, and her eyes widened as the figure suddenly reared up and grasped the axe with both hands above its head once it came within range of the statue.  
Her eyes narrowing immediately, Shampoo dashed forward and grabbed the haft of the axe while wrapping an arm around the gray thing's neck. "You move, Shampoo break neck," she hissed, wrenching the gray man's weapon from its grasp.  
Instead of any kind of verbal response, or perhaps a counter to Shampoo's hold, the being merely writhed uncomfortably within Shampoo's grasp, apparently oblivious to her threat.  
Snorting, the Amazon teenager threw the gray man down into the snow, still holding its weapon. She cast an idle glance at the Yurumi-statue, and then frowned; the statue-person was still building its snowman, completely unaware of how close it had come to being chopped up.  
She returned her gaze to the gray man, and swallowed nervously as the being slowly raised its head to face her. Although the creature bore no facial features with which to make an expression, Shampoo felt as if the gray man was wondering at her interference.  
This theory was reinforced when the gray man pointed wordlessly to the axe in Shampoo's hands (questionable as it was whether the being could speak at all).  
She snorted and waved the gray thing away with her hand. It jabbed its finger forward at the axe.  
"Shampoo not give axe, so go away!" The Amazon snapped, causing the gray man to jerk back.  
Still, the thing wouldn't give up, and it stumbled to its feet before lurching forward, its arm grasping eagerly for the handle of its weapon.  
Scowling, Shampoo stepped back and prepared to fend off the clumsy attack, when suddenly a booming voice seemed to burst out of the frozen depths of the forest.  
"DO NOT RESIST."  
Shampoo froze stiff at the sudden command, and her body started to tremble as she recalled the parting instructions of her master.  
Either sensing the moment of opportunity, or simply ignoring the danger that Shampoo represented to its person, the gray man grasped its confiscated axe with both hands, and then mightily wrenched it free of Shampoo's grip, causing the purple-haired girl to nearly stumble into the snow.  
Shampoo watched numbly as the gray man lumbered toward its target once more, its recovered weapon dragging along the ground. Then, as it came within arm's reach of the ice statue, it stepped forward once more while rearing back its weapon for a swift, brutal overhead chop.  
_CRACK!_ The ice Yurumi spasmed horribly as the heavy blade ripped through her from top to bottom, sending chunks of ice in all directions wildly in an imitation of spilled blood and shattered bone.  
The teenage Amazon winced, but she steeled herself and turned away from the sight.

'I must not resist... hmm... I think I understand,' Shampoo thought to herself as she continued her trek through the forest, keeping her head down as the occasional wet cracking noise echoed through the frozen woods.  
She stopped as a clearing suddenly opened up before her, and she swallowed deeply as a shudder ran down her spine.  
All around the clearing, images of her fellow tribe members and family were carved in moving statues of ice, and all around, those statues were fleeing in a slow, mute panic as gray, faceless butchers hacked them apart with axes and clubs.  
Her hand slowly gripped into a fist as she watched a frozen representation of her elder relative Cologne slowly shuffle through the snow, showing none of the spry, impossible dexterity of the real thing as a gray man wandered up from behind with a sledgehammer in its clumsy grip.  
_CRUNCH!_  
Shampoo bit her lip as she watched two ice golems shaped to resemble her father and departed mother, the both of them holding each other in a desperate hug as another of the featureless marauders charged with its axe swinging.  
_Smash! Thock! Crash!_  
Squeezing her eyes shut, Shampoo turned away, well aware that the rest of the figures being chopped up were relatively minor acquaintances from the village anyway, rather than close members of her family. The real damage had already been done, and the Amazon could feel part of her earlier headache resurface as she stomped away from the massacre.  
'So this is what I have to go through, huh? Images of people I love being smashed?' It all made sense, in a sick, psychological sort of way. She was supposed to abandon her passionate and loving feelings; her "warm" emotions, to prepare for the onset of the Soul of Ice. So having images of people who elicited those emotions destroyed as she was to stand still and watch seemed rather appropriate, and in all honesty, wasn't nearly as harsh as what Shampoo had expected of this trial.  
Before she knew what she was doing, she found herself in another clearing, and immediately winced at the ice statues that were being chopped apart by the gray butchers.  
'There's Ti Shu, my old rival when I was twelve... it was because of her that I trained so hard and finished the trainee's tournament in second place... and now her head is gone.'  
As the headless ice sculpture collapsed onto the ground, Shampoo's gaze wandered to the gray man's next target.  
'Ah, the healer's apprentice Gao Zu. She always told me how amazing my progress as a warrior was whenever she helped heal my wounds.'  
_Crack!_ As the ice statue crumbled, Shampoo moved on once again, getting an unsettling feeling that she was starting to get used to the current trial's images.  
That feeling strained significantly when she set eyes on Nodoka Yagami.  
"Urk!" Shampoo felt her heart leap into her throat at the sight of the calm, serene kimono-clad woman, in full, animated relief, peacefully staring at the surrounding trees, unaware or unconcerned with the three gray men bearing down on her.  
The purple-haired girl winced badly as they fell upon her with axes and hammers, wanting sorely to call out to the hapless statue.

As she turned away, it struck her that she hadn't felt quite as upset at seeing her own mother and father smashed apart as she did when the same thing happened to Ranma's mother. Granted, her mother had died in battle, and Shampoo had already come to terms with that, so seeing an image of her crushed wasn't nearly so heartbreaking afterward. As for her father, the man had been far less of a parent than Cologne had been, as the man had gladly surrendered his daughter to the harsh tutelage and constant training regime of his distant relative.  
Shampoo sighed. Really, Nodoka represented more than just a warm, cheerful and extremely invasive and imaginative relative of her primary love interest; she was representative of Shampoo's hope for the future, the anchor of her role in the Yagami household. On top of that, Nodoka had treated her like family as she settled in Japan; moreso, truth be told, than her actual family had after her mother had died. Not that she resented the harsh treatment she received in the village, but her feelings were clear.  
'Damn it all. Would it kill that wrinkled old witch to include an ice Mousse that I can watch get smashed?' Shampoo thought irritably as she pushed forward, wondering if hate and anger counted toward her memories that had to be metaphorically purged.  
She almost stumbled as her foot caught on something heavy, and Shampoo shook her head to clear it as she realized she hadn't even been watching where she was going.  
Looking down at the object, she blinked as she saw one of the gray men lying in the snow, face-down. All around the man were patches of red, and the man-thing had a large gouge in its back that was obviously fatal.  
Shampoo raised an eyebrow, finding herself far more comfortable with real killing than the symbolic kind. "Hmmm... that strange... is memory fighting back?" She couldn't recall any of the statues making any effort to resist their attackers, despite the fact that many of the people they represented were capable of holding their own against, or altogether beating, Shampoo herself. The best some managed was a muddled, confused retreat, and most of the statues didn't even attempt that much.  
Finally looking up past the gray corpse, Shampoo frowned as she saw several more gray bodies lying in the snow, each one surrounded by a patch of blood red.  
"What do this?" She wondered aloud, raising her awareness as she cautiously followed the trail of dead through the snow.  
Considering that she had boosted her senses to high alert, the Amazon teenager was both quite embarrassed and badly startled when a voice emerged seemingly from nowhere.  
"Probably the feelings that you don't want repressed."  
Jumping in fright, Shampoo tried to dash away to get some cover, but caught her foot on one of the mutilated gray men, dumping her body in the snow and humiliating the Amazon further.  
Once she scrambled to her feet, the purple-haired girl twitched. Sitting right next to her was an ice statue of Ranma's father Iori, staring at the girl with the same leaden expression he always had. In front of the man burned one of the large violet wood fires unique to the Yagamis' camps, but as could be expected in the bizarre dream world, the blaze had no effect on the statue or the surrounding snow.  
'How did he get that close without me noticing? And with a fire, no less! I hate dreamscapes...' Dusting the snow off her clothes, she was about to move on, when she stopped short in surprise. "Wait... you talk to Shampoo?"  
"Yeah, I talk to Shampoo," Ice Iori said in his everyday monotone as he turned his head and stared at his fire, and Shampoo frowned at having her speech mocked. He was being particularly rude, for some reason.  
"You do this?" She asked, gesturing to the bodies.  
"No." Ice Iori answered simply, still staring at his campfire, and Shampoo sweatdropped when it became apparent that the ice statue wasn't intending to divulge any details.  
'Just because he can notice and talk with me doesn't mean he has to, I suppose.'  
A muffled groan came from behind, and Shampoo whirled around.  
Three gray men shambled toward her and Ice Iori from the treeline, the rusted, frost-encrusted axe heads dragging through the snow.  
Shampoo sighed and stepped back, knowing full well what was about to occur, unless whatever phenomenon that had killed the other marauders saw fit to show itself.  
Ice Iori, for all his increased awareness of Shampoo, didn't pay the gray creatures any more attention than the rest of the statues had, and continued to stare at his fire lazily as the three monsters approached...  
He kept on staring as the gray men shambled on by, making no attempt to stop or distract the creatures as they likewise ignored him.  
Shampoo blinked rapidly, then shook her head. "What? What happen?"  
"Nothing happened," Ice Iori deadpanned.  
A vein popped up on Shampoo's head. While the real Iori may have intimidated her just like he intimidated any creature with more than four brain cells, there was no way she was going to put up with this kind of attitude from some bizarre ice puppet inside her own mind. "Stop that! Why they no smash you in little pieces?"  
Ice Iori actually turned to look at her this time, giving her a condescending, half-lidded stare. "They destroy memories that inspire warmth. When have you EVER had any warmth toward me?"  
Shampoo's vein vanished, and her face darkened. Naturally, Iori hadn't inspired anything but nervousness and dread in the young Amazon, and although she was to understand that many women found him very attractive, she much preferred the determination and cheerful attitude of his son.  
"If you wanna find out what's resisting the mind warp thing, you should follow 'em," Ice Iori said, turning back toward his fire. "Or you can just sit here and wait for them to finish. That'd probably be best. You might not like what you see if you go to watch."  
Shampoo set her jaw, and then stomped off in the direction that the gray men had headed, intent on defying the annoying memory and sating her curiosity.  
Ice Iori waited for several moments, then closed his eyes and shook his head. "Stupid kids, they never know what the hell they're getting into."  
_Thwap!_ A snowball smacked into the side of the ice statue's head, spattering white spots all over the shining, crystalline face.  
"Shampoo heard that!"

As Shampoo moved deeper in the forest, the devastation quickly became more widespread, and she began to get worried. The bodies of more gray men lay scattered throughout the forest, accompanied now by large blast craters and trees that appeared to have been smashed apart. Some of the bodies were mauled much more brutally than before, their corpses dismembered and, in a great number of cases, burnt to a crisp.  
'What could have caused this?' Shampoo thought, frowning deeply at one of the bodies, of which only the charred remains of the lower torso were left. 'Whatever it is, it has to be a part of my memory, right?' Her brow creasing, she crossed her arms under her breasts, trying to recall any type of beast she knew of that could knock down a tree.  
'Maybe Mousse's cursed form?' She considered for a moment. 'But what Iori said... about not wanting the feelings repressed? Why would I resist repressing how I feel about that moron?'  
_Bwa-koom!_ The ground shook suddenly as a bright light flared in the distance, and Shampoo's footing slipped out from under her as she tumbled into the snow.  
"What on Earth..." she began to mumble to herself as she pushed herself up, and she froze suddenly as she saw a blossom of flame rise up in the middle of the clearing beyond. Purple flame.  
"Aiyah... Ranma!" she shouted as she jumped to her feet, feeling rather foolish for not realizing it before. 'But... Ranma shouldn't be capable of this kind of violence,' she thought, noticing one of the gray marauders impaled on a tree branch.  
"SSSSHRRREEEEEEEEAAAAAH!"  
She stopped dead as the ear-rending screech pierced the air, feeling a dread chill run down her spine that had nothing to do with the biting cold.  
'Oh no... so that's why...' Swallowing deeply, she willed herself to move on, pushing aside the ice-laden branches to penetrate the barrier of trees. 'There's nothing to be afraid of... right? The Ranma I know would never hurt me, even in his Orochi state... and besides, this is a dream... sort of...'  
"RAAUGH! GYAH!"  
Finally edging into the clearing, Shampoo winced. The entire clearing was littered with blast craters and strewn liberally with the shredded remains of the mysterious gray men.  
"HRRRAAAGWAAAH!" An ice statue of Ranma, deep in the throes of his berserk Orochi state, screamed savagely as he straddled a gray man and beat it again and again, blood flying over his frozen knuckles.  
After several useless punches into the shattered corpse, Ice Ranma finally got up, his gait wavering as he slowly scanned his surroundings for fresh victims.  
Shampoo flinched as his gaze settled on her, though no growling lunge followed it. Instead the blood-spattered ice man shuffled toward her calmly, his head swinging back and forth drunkenly as he searched for more enemies.  
The Amazon girl watched curiously as Ice Ranma reached her and then started circling her through the snow, his eyes constantly searching the tress for opponents. She likened it to a wolf circling its mate or family to protect it, though having Orochi Ranma do it actually made her feel less safe, not more so.  
A much lighter groaning alerted her and her defending ice golem, and the latter swung his head around as he crouched low, snarling like a beast.  
Another of the hapless gray men shambled through the trees, dragging a large two-handed battle axe along with him.  
Shampoo shook her head as the ice statue of Ranma began to glow purple, predicting what was sure to be a short and brutal "fight".  
The gray man lifted his axe clumsily, and Ice Ranma dashed forward, driving a single hand forward toward the attacker's chest.  
Shampoo squeezed her eyes shut and turned away as Ice Ranma's hand pierced the gray man's chest, driving through the ribcage and bursting out the other side, accompanied by the necessary and appropriate spray of blood.  
Glancing back at the scene, she grimaced as Ice Ranma lifted the impaled marauder up in the air, digging his other arm into the chest wound and slowly ripping the creature in two.  
For some reason beyond her immediate understanding, her eyes were drawn to the battle axe, which fell heavily into the snow as its owner was torn apart.  
"PICK IT UP."  
Her eyes widened at the sudden booming command, and whirled around to try and find the source.  
In the meantime, Ice Ranma tossed the pieces of his latest victim aside, warm blood running smoothly down the slick, cold surface of his arms. Gazing around himself, the ice statue blatantly ignored Shampoo as he searched for further threats, stepping past the heavy axe lying on the icy ground.  
"PICK IT UP, AND FINISH THE JOB," the mysterious voice boomed in Shampoo's head, and she grit her teeth and clamped her hands over her ears to resist.  
"Why? Who talking?" She hissed, still searching around her for an apparent source of the voice.  
"WHO DO YOU THINK IT IS, YOU MORON?" The voice boomed, causing Shampoo to wince from the volume. "WHO ELSE IS MESSING AROUND IN YOUR HEAD OTHER THAN YOU? NOW PICK UP THE AXE SO WE CAN WRAP THIS UP."  
Swallowing deeply, she looked down at the hefty iron weapon pensively. "But... why Shampoo do it?" She complained.  
"BECAUSE IT'S YOUR BLOODY SUBCONSCIOUS DEFENDING THE MEMORY IN THE FIRST PLACE! LOOK, I CAN ONLY DO SO MUCH FROM HERE, YOU KNOW!"  
Shampoo frowned, but took a step toward the axe in the snow. Pursing her lips, she bent over and gripped the handle, testing the weapon's weight gingerly.  
"Sssshrrrraaa..."  
The Amazon flinched badly when she heard Ice Ranma hiss, and she glanced over at the frozen golem.  
It seemed that the statue hadn't taken any notice of her, in fact, and remained facing away, toward the woods.  
He bristled, as if sensing danger, and slumped over further, such that his hands were a bare inch from scraping the snow. "Hsshaah... hsshaah..." Deep, harrowing breaths emerged from his icy throat as clouds of yellow mist, and as Shampoo continued to stare, the breaths became shallower and faster, as if the berserker was sensing its own impending fate. Still, he did not turn toward Shampoo.  
_Clunk!_ The axe fell over into the snow as Shampoo let go of it, and she balled her hands into fists as she gazed up at the blurry white sky.  
"Shampoo not do this! Will not destroy own mind if what price of strength!" She shouted upward, setting her jaw tightly. "Maybe Master Shower right. Maybe price too high. Maybe Shampoo not ready. Master say that Shampoo headstrong and stubborn, but Shampoo not destroy what Shampoo love for strength! Shampoo-"  
"OKAY, OKAY, JUST SHUT UP, ALREADY," the voice said wearily, managing to sound dreary despite its booming volume. "YOU KNOW WHAT? FINE. DON'T DO IT. I DON'T EVEN CARE. IT WASN'T IMPORTANT ANYWAY."  
The facefault that the poor Amazon teenager suffered at that point would have been very loud and painful indeed were it not for the heavy layers of snow covering the cold, hard ground of her dreamscape. A few meters away, Ice Ranma turned and stared at her curiously, wondering what had provoked such an odd response.  
'When she finishes teaching me her stupid tricks, I am going to hurt that woman,' Shampoo decided as she pushed herself up out of the snow.  
"WELL, THE HARD PART'S OVER, THEN. IT'LL BE A WHILE BEFORE YOU WAKE UP. G'NIGHT."  
As if on command, the world around Shampoo began to fade away as a shroud of shadows engulfed the frosty forest, and the Amazon felt her own senses start to dull.  
Slowly falling to her knees, she let out a sigh, glad that this first ordeal was over with.  
"Hhhssss..." shambling up behind her, Ice Ranma fell to his knees in the snow next to her, teetering slightly as blood continued to drip down his arms.  
Shampoo turned her head, gazing at the gasping statue out of the corner of her eyes. 'Ah, what the hell...' Grinning, she turned around and enveloped the berserk statue in a soft hug, shivering slightly as she pressed her body against Ice Ranma's hard, frozen skin.  
Given that it was supposed to represent Ranma's Orochi state, she was fully prepared to have her dream-self suddenly eviscerated on the spot. Really, all she could hope for was for the ice statue to freeze in place (no pun intended) at the sudden contact as she faded fully into normal unconsciousness.  
The last thing she expected was to see the feral beast smile warmly, and then hug her back.  
Hearing it whisper "Thank you," in her ear left the Amazon girl rather flat-footed as well, though she didn't have much time to be surprised before the forest finally faded away around her, and she was fully consumed by the encroaching darkness.  
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"What the hell is going on here?" Hashiru yelled as he ran down the back alley, Raven and Hana hot on his heels. All around them were walls painted from top to bottom to mark the gloomy corridor as part of Ra's territory, displaying everything from grand, inspiring murals to crude, simple graffiti.  
"I'm not precisely sure, Lord Hashiru," Raven shouted as he measured his pace to allow Hana to keep up. "By the time I arrived in the area, everyone was unconscious. Many of them were injured seriously. I heard fighting inside, but I thought I should contact you-"  
"Yeah, fine, you did good," Hashiru mumbled, the gears in his head already turning. 'Someone's attacking us? Couldn't be the cops, could it? No, we would have made a much better showing against police, or just fled. Maybe it's a new rival gang.' No matter what he told himself, however, the gang boss couldn't help but feel a dreadful sinking feeling in his gut.  
_Bam!_ A door ahead suddenly burst open, and a staff fighter dashed out of it, nearly slamming into the wall due to his panic.  
"Taio! What's going on?" Hashiru shouted as he slowed, noting that the younger fighter was sporting a large cut on his forehead, but was otherwise unharmed.  
"B-Boss! Thank God you're here!" Taio gasped, pointing back into the abandoned factory building that had been converted into a basketball court. "You gotta stop her! She's some kinda monster!"  
"What? Who?" Hana asked between gasps of breath.  
"I d-don't know! Some redheaded chick! Nobody knows her, but she's tearing us apart!" the staff fighter shouted, visibly shaking.  
Naturally, Hashiru's first thoughts when he considered redheaded chicks who fought like monsters drifted toward a certain gender-changing friend of his, but he quickly put aside the idea until he had seen the intruder for himself; Ranma never attacked anybody without reason (and sometimes he even had a good one, which was always nice), nor had he fought any member of Clan Ra without being challenged first.  
Entering building, Hashiru slipped his left hand in his pocket, and steeled himself for the worst.

"Damn you! What's you're problem, anyway? What'd we ever do to you?"  
Hashiru frowned deeply. 'Well, it isn't Ranma, that's for sure. Chest doesn't even begin to measure up...'  
The redheaded girl reminded him of Ranma, if only due to the color of her hair and the fact that she seemed to be crushing his fighters easily, but there wasn't much resemblance to Ranma's female form beyond that.  
The young woman stared dispassionately at the dark-skinned youth that she was holding up in the air by the throat. "You're... decent. Not good, but enough of you may just be a challenge."  
'She's noticed me already, I'm sure of it,' Hashiru thought, frowning as Hana and Raven entered behind him. 'She's waiting for an introduction or declaration, probably.'  
Instead of announcing himself, Hashiru turned his head and scanned the court. All around the interior, beaten and bloody boys and girls lay on the floor, twitching in agony if not completely unconscious.  
The gang leader's jaw clenched. He recognized most of the individuals, and knew very well that several of them were not fighters of any degree. Were they hurt because they were attacked regardless of their ability to defend themselves, or because they had tried to bum-rush the girl along with the fighters?  
"Are you going to stand around staring, or do you have some business getting in my way?" Setsuna said suddenly, not turning toward Hashiru as the boy in her grasp struggled helplessly. "I'm getting tired of waiting for an introduction."  
Hashiru was about to step forward, when an underclassman suddenly jumped to her feet, charging for the redhead's back while the aggressor was still talking.  
"LET GO OF TAISHI, YOU SADISTIC BITCH!" She screamed hatefully only moments after she launched three Ninja kunai at the redhead, not wanting to ruin any advantage of surprise she may have had. Even after throwing the potentially lethal weapons she kept running full-out toward her opponent, intent on making her sudden assault count.  
In the end, it appeared not to have mattered. Without dropping her victim, Setsuna turned ninety degrees and lashed out with her free hand, snatching up all the knives in one swipe.  
The girl's eyes widened as she saw her attack fail, and her heart sank into her belly as she saw the redhead reposition her hand holding the kunai in order to intercept her charge.  
"Raven," Hashiru mumbled, his face darkening as he saw the events before him play out.  
"Way ahead of you!" the Ninja shouted, grabbing the underclassman in mid-charge and dashing across the court, halting the disastrous attack before their aggressor could.  
Setsuna watched the incident calmly, showing no apparent surprise at the Ninja's speed until she spoke. "Fast. Very fast. You'll make an interesting opponent," she mumbled as she continued staring in the direction of the girl's charge, rather than turning to face anybody conscious at present. "Well then, I take it you didn't come here to watch your friends suffer..." finally turning her head toward Hashiru, she threw the young man in her hand away behind her in the same manner one would discard of a ruined jacket.  
_Crkch!_ Then she crushed the throwing knives in her hand before letting the useless, twisted wads of metal fall onto the floor.  
"Why?" Hashiru asked, his face as solid and unchanging as the girl's.  
"I'm really getting sick of being asked that question," Setsuna muttered as she started walking toward Hashiru. "It doesn't matter why. I'm attacking. Defend yourself."  
Hashiru didn't relent, and raised his right hand to point at two scrawny-looking young men who were lying on top of each other in a heap. "Answer me. Why did you attack **them**?"  
Noticing the emphasis in his words, Setsuna turned to look at the focus of his attention curiously. "Hm? Why? Who are they?"  
"They're nobody," Hashiru said bitterly, retracting his right arm and balling that hand into a fist. "Nobody at all. Just a couple chemistry majors who followed their friend to the court. They don't know martial arts. Probably never been in a fight in their lives before now. What possible reason could you have to hurt them?"  
Setsuna blinked, then turned back toward the gang boss. "They were in my way."  
_SHWACK!_ A flesh-colored streak was all the warning the redhead got before her head was smashed to the side, struck by Hashiru's fist from halfway across the basketball court.  
"I don't like that answer," Hashiru growled, "you have one chance to leave in one piece before I take you apart, Red."  
Setsuna, who's body hadn't moved as her head snapped to the side, lazily turned her head face-forward again, raising a hand to massage her neck. "Very interesting. You and the Ninja. Now." Her face changing ever-so-slightly from uninterested to determined, Setsuna turned to the side and gripped both her hands into fists, stretching the metal-studded black-leather gloves she was wearing.  
"Raven, Hana. Start taking care of these people. Get the ones that can still walk on their feet, and take the rest somewhere you can hold out for some paramedics," Hashiru said, his free arm hanging loosely at his side as his two companions rushed to follow out his orders.  
Setsuna's eyes hardened. "You can't beat me by yourself. Don't waste my time."  
"If wasting your time is what I've gotta do to make sure these people end up okay, then it's what I've gotta do, whether I can beat you or not," he idly scratched his nose, which seemed to annoy the redhead further.  
"Hmph. Fine. If it means that much to you..." she murmured, and then she turned away, walking toward the back of the improvised court. "We'll take this outside."  
Hashiru frowned as she kept moving toward the wall, and noticed that two barely-conscious men were in her path, lying on the floor clutching their bloodied bodies. He was about to call out to them, but it proved to be unnecessary as Raven dashed in front of the redhead and grabbed both of them by the backs of their shirts, dragging them out of the way.  
Setsuna gave the incident no notice, as if she had expected the minor obstacles to be removed from her path... one way or another.  
Reaching the wall, she lowered her right hand, gripping it into a fist while still walking forward. Then, as everyone expected but nobody really believed, she punched the wall.  
_KRAAK-OOOM!_ As her relatively small fist punched easily through the wood and plaster, a huge, circular area centered around her fist cracked and immediately blasted outward, as if the wall had been hit by a semi-truck rather than a haymaker.  
Setsuna hadn't stopped walking forward to deliver the punch, and kept walking right through the hole she had made despite the bits of dust and debris that fell on her hair and shoulders.

Raven and Hana gulped at the sight, having frozen in their own work. "Y-You're going to fight HER all by yourself?"  
Hashiru glared at his cousin and manservant, though as usual they couldn't see through his bangs to notice. "You just concentrate on your job. And get an ambulance on stand-by for one more person." Then he turned his head toward the hole and started toward it. "Though honestly, I'm not sure who's going to be using it."  
"As you wish." "O-Okay Hashi! Be c-careful!"

Hashiru sighed as he exited Setsuna's makeshift door, and combed the dust out of his hair with his free hand as he gazed at the young woman out in the middle of the lot, her back turned toward him.  
"You know, you've got a lot of power, you've got some style, and that's hot, but what you're lacking is **grace**."  
The gang leader smirked as Setsuna slowly turned toward him.  
"Grace makes a woman special. Makes her lovely. Turns sweaty, violent movements into a dance. You get grace, babe, then you got it all."  
Setsuna gave him a half-lidded stare. "I suppose that you're making small talk before I annihilate you to annoy me?"  
"Nothin' but the truth, Red. All you gotta do is clean up a bit, and you'd have a guy in no time!" His smirk turned into a grin, and his hand clenched and unclenched in anticipation.  
"You have no idea how little that means to me," Setsuna deadpanned. "And my name is not 'Red'. You may call me Setsuna. Or my surname Hanabo. I don't really care." She gripped both hands into fists, feeling the leather of her fingerless gloves tighten between her fingers and the steel of the rivets press against her knuckles.  
"Well, looks like you're ready. Here goes everything." He leaned over as his arm hung limp. "By the way, just for the record? Name's Hashiru Yamazaki. I'd prefer you call me Hashiru, and I DO really care."  
"It doesn't matter to me who you are," Setsuna shouted, dashing forward suddenly, "you're just another notch in my belt!"  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Aw man, what now?" Ranma asked rhetorically, rubbing his head irritably.  
Yurumi chewed her lip nervously as she saw the people milling about the line of ambulances. "This is bad! What do you think happened?"  
Ranma frowned, watching as several of the boxy white trucks left the line and zipped onto the road, while a few more arrived and pulled over in the now-vacant spots. Most of the people in the quickly dwindling crowd looked injured themselves, if not so seriously that they needed to be carted to the hospital themselves. "It could be anything, really. A party that got out of hand, a fighting tournament, a general brawl, even a gang war." Then he stopped and rubbed his chin. "Or maybe a single powerful martial artist strolled onto their property and started beating people at random just for kicks or to get information... but I'm pretty sure that's not it."  
"Why? Isn't that what Min did?" Yurumi asked, scratching her head.  
"Well, yeah. That's kinda the point, really. How often can that sort of thing possibly happen? You'd think they'd learn to deal with it after the first occasion, right? Gotta be something else," Ranma insisted.  
"Ranma! Ranma, thank God you're here!" Hana said as she burst from the edge of the crowd, clearly panicking.  
"Hana? What's going on around here? You get in a gang war or something?" The pigtailed boy asked, causing the girl to wince. While technically Hana wasn't a member of Clan Ra and continually claimed her independence from it as simply being a relative of a couple of members, she usually found that what with her constantly advising her cousin and participating in the Clan's events, there were very few people besides her who appreciated the distinction.  
"No, no gang war. What gang would be stupid enough to attack Clan Ra, anyway?" Hana mumbled, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose. "A girl whom none of us has ever seen before simply appeared and goaded several fighters into a battle. She wiped the floor with them, and then went on a total rampage, attacking everyone in sight. Including many members who aren't fighters, and even a few innocent bystanders."  
Ranma was silent for several moments, and then rolled his eyes when he caught Yurumi staring at him with one eyebrow raised. "Okay, fine. I gotta ask: does this happen to you a lot? You know, this thing where you all just hang out and then this one powerhouse barrels through wiping you all out?"  
Hana twitched. "Uh... well... as you know, I'm not really PART of Ra or anything, and it's not like I'm always hanging out over here or keeping track or... well... you see, it's... urm... I can't always catch... uhm... yeah, pretty much," she finally admitted, deflating significantly. "But that's not important! Hashiru is fighting her right now in the lot at the end of the main alley! He ordered all of us to help the wounded, so we have our hands full, and we probably couldn't help him anyway, but you've got to go to him! That girl might **kill** him!"  
Ranma considered this for a moment even as he nodded his agreement. 'A girl tough enough to KILL Hashiru? She'd have to be as strong as Min and Shampoo put together! This definitely bears checking out!' "All right, I'll get on my way in just a sec..."  
"Ranma? You're going?" Yurumi asked dubiously. "Can I-"  
"No way," Ranma said firmly, "this is different from the battle you saw here before, and even from me and Pop fighting that perverted old gnome. I promised to baby-sit, and first priority is keeping you safe."  
With that in mind, Ranma turned toward the milling crowd, scanning the chaotic throng of people. "Hey! Ninja guy! Uh... scarecrow! You there?"  
_Woosh!_ Yurumi and Hana sweatdropped as an annoyed-looking Raven suddenly appeared in front of Ranma in a kneeling position.  
Quickly he stood up. "Call me RAVEN. What is it?"  
"Yeah, Raven, great. Look, I need you to watch and protect my little sister for me while I go save your boss."  
Raven blinked, then stared down at Yurumi. The tiny redheaded girl smiled nervously and shrugged.  
"I cannot. I am under orders by Lord Hashiru to lend my full capabilities toward assisting the wounded and keeping everyone away from the battle," the Ninja said irritably, crossing his arms over his chest, "and while I can easily make an exception for you, you have no authority to issue me orders, and certainly no right to ask me to lend my considerable abilities to a task so ridiculous and mundane as-"  
_Whump!_ Raven stopped talking as Ranma's knee dug into his stomach, forcing out the precious air needed for the Ninja to complete his explanation.  
Ranma crossed his own arms over his chest as he watched the manservant crumple to the ground. "Let's try this again Raven: Look, I need you to watch and protect my little sister for me while I go save your boss."  
"Understood, Lord Yagami," Raven gasped, shakily climbing to his feet. "I'll protect her with my life, if need be..."  
"Swell. See ya in a bit!" The pigtailed boy said absently as he leapt high above the crowd, quickly clearing the throng of people and then charging down the alleyway.  
"Uh... s-sorry about that," Yurumi said somewhat bashfully, her face flushing. "But thank you for helping my brother."  
"Ugh... that miscreant..." Raven grimaced, holding his stomach in pain. "Is violence all he knows?"  
"Yeah..." Hana said, her face turning pink as she sighed dreamily. "What a man!"  
Raven and Yurumi sweatdropped heavily.  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Thwock!_  
Setsuna grit her teeth as her whole body froze, paralyzed the moment her boot smashed into Hashiru's chest.  
"**Kuroi shikaeshi**!" _Thrack!_ Pulling his left hand out of his pocket, Hashiru drilled the redheaded girl in the stomach, waves of bright blue ki wrapping around his fist as she was smashed into the air.  
"Tsk!" The redhead twisted around and landed on her feet, skidding backwards across the concrete from the force of the blow.  
Setsuna already sported several severe bruises, and was clearly beginning to look worn out by the encounter. Hashiru actually looked to be in better shape than the redheaded girl, though his left arm had several bloody gashes from an earlier assault that had failed miserably.  
"A defensive grappler, I see. Good. Very good," Setsuna mumbled as she dashed forward, holding her arms close to test his response.  
Hashiru lashed out with his free arm, and then grimaced as the redhead grabbed his fist and twisted it to the side, preventing him from regaining his leverage.  
_KROOM!_ Setsuna's free hand smashed into Hashiru's chest with the force of a cruise missile, causing a booming noise on impact totally out of line with the actual image of a simple punch. The area of ground behind Hashiru suddenly split like a fault line, and Hashiru's teeth rattled in his head as pain blossomed over his upper body.  
"Grgh! Hack!" Hashiru coughed up a spray of blood for a moment as Setsuna reeled back her fist again. 'Gah! How can anyone that size be that strong?' Retracting his arm as best he could, Hashiru drove his head forward, surprising the girl, who had already committed to the second strike.  
_Whock!_ Setsuna let go of the larger man, stunned as his forehead smashed into hers.  
Hashiru tried to follow up on the attack, but Setsuna ducked and turned into a roundhouse, forcing the grappler away.  
'Damn! She's just... so... damn GOOD! No tricks or patterns or anything! Meaning as soon as she gets acclimated to my defenses, I'm finished!' Hashiru thought, breathing heavily as he tried to ignore the burning agony that had been his ribcage just a few moments ago. 'This is impossible. She takes hits better than I do. Only got one trick left...'  
'Incredible. That blow would have killed a normal man five times over. It's like I'm hitting a piece of granite.' Setsuna thought to herself, taking a moment to catch her breath. "Still kicking. Excellent," Setsuna said in a dead monotone, making it hard to imagine she was pleased. "It seems this wasn't a waste at all."  
Hashiru frowned at the redhead, looking worried. "Uh-oh... I'm not turning you on, am I?"  
A vein immediately popped up on Setsuna's head, though there wasn't any other visible sign of irritation.  
"I'm just sayin', it's cool if you're into that, but I'm currently attached, and-"  
Clearly becoming more annoyed with that line of conversation, Setsuna pulled back her arms, and then drove both fists forward through the air in Hashiru's direction.  
_BWOOM!_ The concrete underfoot suddenly shattered as a wave of force blasted forward from her hands, leaving a trail of bursting debris as it zipped toward its target.  
'Dang, I can barely see the energy wave! Just a distortion in the air... gonna be hard to time this...' Despite his doubts, Hashiru's pocketed hand whipped out and scooped up the airburst attack, trailing blue ki in a wide arc behind his arm.  
Apparently Setsuna wasn't expecting him to be surprised by the projectile, and when Hashiru had finished absorbing the attack in his hand, he found the redhead dashing toward him low to the ground, having recovered from her attack and crossed half the distance between them already.  
'Only gonna get one shot at this...' Hashiru thought grimly, trying to move his free arm in position to block.  
_Bwack!_ Setsuna's right hook connected solidly, and Hashiru grunted in agony as his severely weakened ribcage was subjected to the metal rivets protecting the redhead's knuckles.  
Then he smiled as his right hand grabbed onto Setsuna's extended arm. "Endgame, Red."  
_CRACK!_ The concrete underfoot buckled further as Hashiru brought his left fist down into the side of Setsuna's neck, releasing the burning energies of Setsuna's ranged attack at the last moment and amplifying the strike twofold.  
Setsuna's body shook for a moment, and her head slumped slightly as her knees buckled, dropping the young woman onto the shattered ground.  
Hashiru gasped painfully, feeling a seething burn over his hand that barely approached the burning in his chest. "All right Red, now we-BGAWK!"  
The last exclamation was shouted as Setsuna clasped her hand painfully over his face, and then took advantage of the moment of surprise to put her other hand over his throat, digging her thumb into his esophagus as she squeezed his neck.  
"My name is NOT 'Red'," Setsuna deadpanned as she stood up fully, squeezing a bit more as Hashiru's arms twitched. "Ah, ah, ah. You're a very experienced fighter. You must know how close you are to losing a very important part of your respiratory system."  
'H-How? It's not possible! An attack on that spot with that kind of force... I was afraid that I might have paralyzed her for life! She shrugged it off like a slap on the wrist!' Hashiru thought, ceasing his struggles.  
"You've been... useful. This was a good battle, and I learned a few things," Setsuna said almost conversationally as Hashiru glared at the palm clamped over his face. "Now how to finish this... it'll be too much trouble to simply hit you until you finally pass out, and it would cause me even more trouble to kill you, since you seem important around here. Hmmmm..."  
Hashiru's glare softened. Slightly. 'She's not willing to kill me. Well, that's good... though she has to know as soon as she moves the hand on my neck, she's in trouble.'  
"I didn't have to go this far with the others. You should feel ...special."  
_Fwoosh!_  
Hashiru's eyes widened as he felt hot, searing agony engulf his neck. 'What? Fire ki? No, wait-!'  
"**Ranran na hakubo**."  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Ding dong!_ Min stepped back after pressing the doorbell, hugging Ranma's jacket to her chest as she fretted silently.  
'What am I supposed to say to Ranma when I see him again?' Min thought nervously, idly running a hand through her ponytail. 'Should I try and fix things between him and Dad? I mean, does he want me to interfere? Is he actually **afraid** to come on to me because of Dad, or is he genuinely apathetic?'  
Before she could dig further into the pile of questions for which she had no answers, the door opened, revealing Nodoka Yagami.  
Min blinked. The woman was wearing a purple evening gown, a good layer of makeup, and large, elaborate earrings. Obviously she was going out somewhere.  
"Oh! You're Min, aren't you?" Nodoka said, pleasantly surprised.  
"Yes. Nice to see you again, Mrs. Yagami," Min said politely, bowing. "Is Ranma home?"  
Nodoka immediately frowned sadly. "Oh dear. I'm afraid not... are you here to return his jacket? I noticed he wasn't wearing it when he left earlier."  
"Uh huh. Do you know where he went?" Min asked, once again folding it under her arm and preparing to leave again.  
"Oh, don't worry about that! Come in, come in!" Nodoka said happily, stepping back and to the side.  
Min blinked. "Uhm... are you sure? You look like you're heading out..."  
"Of course I'm sure! No sense in tracking Ranma down; he could be anywhere. Just leave the coat here."  
Nodding hesitantly, Min entered the front door and then hung the jacket on one of the coat hooks to the right of the doorway. 'Weird... what's with this overwhelming feeling of dread? Almost like I've just wandered into some kind of trap...'  
"Well, then I guess I'll take off..." Min turned around to leave, but found that, for some reason, Nodoka was standing between her and the front door.  
"So soon? No, no, no! Have a seat! Relax! Stay and chat!" Nodoka said, taking the girl's arm and dragging her into the dining room before she could protest.  
"What? But... aren't you going out right now?" She asked as she squatted at the dining room table.  
"Not this minute, no," Nodoka said, squatting across from her. "We have some time, and I've been dying to speak with you!"  
As if on cue, Iori emerged from the kitchen, wearing his usual jacket and black slacks, but with the belt between the legs removed and his shirt tucked in. "What are you doing? I thought we were leaving." He looked down at Min, who appeared very confused by now. "Who's this?"  
Nodoka twitched, but held her serene smile. "This is Ranma's girlfriend, of course. And there's no rush to get to the restaurant, is there?"  
Iori raised an eyebrow. "What? But the reservations..." He saw his wife raise an eyebrow herself, then looked down at the teenage girl below him. Then he looked back at his wife.  
"God damn it..." Iori mumbled quietly as he massaged his head in irritation. "How long?"  
"Twenty minutes, tops," Nodoka said pleasantly, noting that Min looked more confused than ever.  
"Fine. I'll be in the kitchen," Iori said somewhat sourly.

"What was that all about? Am I imposing?" Min asked somewhat nervously, though she couldn't see how being dragged inside to chat could be considered an imposition.  
"Don't be ridiculous. I just feel it's important that I be on good terms with my son's lovers!" Nodoka said cheerily.  
"Grk!" Min turned bright red at the comment, although it was actually the third time that day she'd faced that accusation. "Whoa, hey! We're not lovers! We went on one date!"  
Nodoka blinked innocently. "Well, maybe you're not lovers yet, but advancing to that point IS the objective at the moment, is it not?"  
Completely missing the hint of suspicion, Min laughed nervously. "Well, yeah, though I never really thought of it that way... Anyway, it's a little early to be thinking about that. We're not even going steady, yet." Her blush faded slightly as she began to think back on her first date with Ranma.  
"You think it's too early?" Nodoka asked, looking up at the ceiling in contemplation. "Hmmm... maybe." Then she looked back down at the teenager, smiled warmly, and took Min's hand in her own. "I haven't seen Ranma in a long time, you know, so I don't know nearly as much about him as a mother should. I want to know all about your relationship with him." Then she winked. "And I should tell you a thing or two about him, too. Could you stand to stay and talk for a while?"  
Min felt herself relax at the older woman's touch, and smiled herself. "Yeah... that sounds nice..."  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Setsuna jogged down the length of the alleyway, idly rubbing her neck to massage her injury.  
"He was powerful. Very powerful. But he lacked skill. Not quite the test of my abilities I was looking for," she mumbled to herself as she began looking around for a way out of the maze of back alleys.  
The sound of running caught her attention, and she turned just in time to catch a glimpse of someone running past the alley entrance. He was a relatively tall teenage boy, with black hair in a pigtail, and was wearing a white button-down shirt and black pants.  
'Is he heading toward the battlefield? Perhaps this gang has reinforcements.'  
She considered chasing after him and crushing him too, but quickly lost interest. He seemed to be running very quickly, and she was in no mood to have to run someone down.  
Letting out a sigh, she wiped her forehead with her hand, and blinked when it seemed slick with more sweat than it should have been.  
A glance at her hand confirmed her suspicion that it wasn't sweat, and she snorted as she looked at the streaks of blood on her arm. 'I'm too badly injured to continue this. I should find a camp well away from here...'  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ranma's taking an awfully long time..." Yurumi said nervously as she stared down the main alleyway, Raven standing at attention behind her.  
The situation in the ambulance line-up had recovered significantly since Ranma had left, to the point that only a single vehicle remained to carry a patient away, waiting patiently to hear of the outcome of the grand battle taking place in the alleys beyond. Paramedics still littered the area, treating those who had helped the severely injured, but the majority of the abused throng had left under their own power or under someone else's care.  
Hana looked even more nervous than Yurumi, pacing back and forth while wringing her hands. "This was a mistake... a big mistake... I mean, if this girl could take out Hashi, isn't she just a hop and a skip away from being able to crush Ranma, too? What if he arrived after she finished with Hashi? If we send people out to meet her one at a time, we'll never stop her!" Finally, for the sixth time in the last ten minutes, she turned angrily toward Raven. "You should've gone with him! If Ranma loses, then that's it! We have nothing left!"  
Raven answered her, for the sixth time in the last ten minutes, with the type of patience and calm that only a master of assassination could muster. "The man told me to watch his sister. And kicked me when I refused. One way or another, I would have been severely hurt if I'd followed him."  
"Rhrg!" Hana growled and went back to pacing, idly pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose. "Who else do we know who's a powerhouse? Oh! That cute American guy! Where's he?"  
Yurumi blinked. "You mean Tomas? Uh... I dunno. He lives with Min, right?"  
Hana immediately frowned upon remembering the top-heavy Ninja. "Oh, right. Her. Well, she'd probably be a help too, where do they live?"  
"Across town. Unless our young aggressor is willing to wait quite some time, I don't believe I'd be able to bring them back here in time for them to be of any help," Raven explained, leaving unsaid that doing to would force him to leave Yurumi, and risk Ranma's wrath.  
"Dang! Well... what about that stupid Chinese girl?"  
"Shampoo?" Yurumi said, frowning at hearing her friend being called "stupid". "She left somewhere. I think it was for a training trip or something."  
"Well, that's just great!" Hana shouted in frustration, grabbing her head in despair. "Who's left? Akane Tendo? Yeah, right! Maybe KUNO would be willing to come down here and be eviscerated! Ooh, I know! Let's drag my brother away from his classical music and gross French food and send him to his certain doom! THIS SUCKS!"

Yurumi flinched back as the bespectacled girl became more and more hysterical, and Raven patted her on the head to comfort her.  
"Don't worry about her. She cares too much, is all," the Ninja explained. "Sometimes Miss Hana feels helpless because she herself is incapable of the violent feats she's frequently condemning."  
Yurumi nodded, being able to appreciate feeling helpless when push came to shove.  
"Speaking of which, there's a matter I'd like to ask you, if that's all right..." Raven began hesitantly, peering over the scarf of bundled hair sitting over his collar.  
The little redhead looked surprised, but nodded her consent.  
"The purple flames... I've heard that your father possesses it, as well as Lord Yagami?"  
Yurumi sweatdropped a bit at hearing her brother referred to as "Lord Yagami". Apparently that kick had really hurt. "Yeah, he does."  
"It's genetic, then? I mean, everyone on your father's side of the family possesses the flames, as well as his children?" The Ninja pressed curiously.  
Yurumi's forehead scrunched up in thought. "Well... Daddy doesn't have any relatives. At least, he didn't tell us about any. So I guess it's just him, me, and Ranma."  
Raven's eyebrows rose. "Ah, so you too possess the hellfire?"  
"Uh huh! Though I'm not very good at explosions like Ranma, I can do this!" Grinning brightly, she held out her hand.  
_Fwoom!_ A small flame, not unlike that of a common bunsen burner, appeared above her palm, displaying a clear, bright purple tint.  
Raven nodded, smiling a bit under his face mask. "Hana, do you-" turning toward the high school girl, his attentions went on high alert when he saw that Hana's eyes were fixated on something behind him, and she had paled significantly.  
Whirling around, Raven's face lost a fair bit of color as well. Standing in a side alleyway, separate from the main route that Ranma had taken was Setsuna, her body bruised and her head slightly bloody.  
"Damnation! She defeated both Hashiru and Yagami? Impossible!" Raven said, quickly dashing in front of Yurumi. 'At the very least, she should be near the verge of death! And how the hell does one return from a fight with Yagami without any burns?'  
Setsuna's gaze shifted as soon as the Ninja took up position between the two redheads, which led Raven to a second chilling conclusion: she had been staring intently at Yurumi.  
"That flame... purple flame..." Setsuna mumbled, as if in a daze. Then her expression hardened. "Ninja. Move. Now."  
"I will not," Raven said simply, turning slightly as he adopted his fighting stance. "Why on Earth would you have business with a girl half your age? Leave her be."  
"I have business with ANYONE who wields a purple flame," Setsuna said venomously. "You have no idea how long I've searched for someone who wields that fire! Unless you can point me to another such individual, MOVE ASIDE. I believe you recall what happens to those individuals who get in my way."  
'What? So she didn't run into Ranma after all?' Raven, Hana, and Yurumi all thought at once, behind them, the paramedics watched in confusion as their patients suddenly fled the scene despite their injuries, obviously convinced that the redhead was here to add to them.  
'Well, I suppose I could point her toward Lord Yagami, but I doubt she'd believe me...' "Miss Yurumi, run for the ambulance! Get them to take you someplace safe!" Raven shouted, mentally praying that his master had inflicted enough damage already to give him a fighting chance as he charged forward.

"Tsk! Idiot!" Setsuna said as she held her arms loose, not willing to expose herself in a lunge for the girl.  
As Raven approached, he quickly tossed a small smoke bomb in front of him, hoping to buy extra time by complicating the battle. _Pwoof!_  
Setsuna simply growled as she reared her fist back. "Moron! Do you think your stupid tricks will stop me?" _BWOOM!_  
As she punched forward into the gray cloud, the smoke was suddenly blasted away by a sudden wall of force, leaving a stunned Raven exposed as the contents of his bomb blew over his body.  
Snarling, Setsuna smashed a fist into the Ninja's stomach, causing the assassin to hunch over in agony. Then she lifted him up with that same arm before throwing him away to the side, not willing to take the time to inflict any lasting damage.

A few tears leaked from Yurumi's eyes as she dashed for the ambulance, not daring to look behind her as she saw the terrified expressions of the paramedics in front of her.  
'That girl is so scary! But... why does she want someone with purple flame? Wait! Dr. Tofu said there were people with some sort of fued with Daddy, didn't he? Is she one of those people?'  
Even more terrified at the thought that the girl might be one of the flame-wielding clans, Yurumi pushed for a final sprint as she approached the final meter between her and the ambulance door.  
"Gotcha!" Setsuna growled as she snatched the younger redhead up by the back of her shirt, lifting Yurumi off of her feet.  
"No! Please! Don't hurt her!" Hana pleaded as she ran up to the dazed Raven, helping him up. Setsuna ignored her.  
"Hey! What do you think you're doing?" One of the braver paramedics asked, approaching angrily as he watched Setsuna manhandle the obviously terrified youth. "You let her g-"  
_Bwack!_ Without even offering a warning this time, the redheaded vagrant smashed the man aside with a backhand, sending him flying onto the ground.  
"YOU!" Setsuna snarled at the blubbering girl in her hands. "Do you know any others who wield purple flames? ANSWER ME!"  
"Uh... I... uh... huh..." Tears streamed from Yurumi's eyes as she started gasping for breath, her heart pounding like a jackhammer.  
"What's wrong with you?" Setsuna asked angrily, shaking the younger girl as she broke down into full-blown bawling. "Answer me, now!"  
Putting down the little girl, Setsuna grabbed the amulet around her neck with one hand and Yurumi's chin with the other, and then pulled both of them close to force Yurumi to look at the crescent moon symbol. "You know the man who owns this amulet, don't you? You must know something!"  
"WAAAAAH! R-RAANMAAA! _Sob!_ HELP!" Yurumi cried, squeezing her eyes shut and trying to squirm away.  
Setsuna quickly began to lose her temper, showing none of the calm she displayed in battle. "Is Ranma his name? Stop crying and talk to me, you little brat! Who was your father?"  
"HELP! RANMAAAA! WAAAAAAAAA-glk!" Yurumi's sobs were cut short as she felt a strong pressure on her throat, and her eyes popped open to see Setsuna staring down at her in disgust.  
"DON'T make me hurt you. Now answer me. Do you know the man that bears this symbol? Tell me!"  
Yurumi hiccupped as the older girl's deadly gaze burned into her. "I... _Cough! _d-don't..." Then she squeezed her eyes shut again as she suddenly grabbed onto Setsuna's arms. "NO!"  
Setsuna only had time to blink in surprise at seeing her captive glow brightly before the world seemed to explode around her.  
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_KRAAAAAAAKOOOOOOOOOM!_

Ranma winced as he saw the bright purple flash rise above the rooftops of the warehouses and empty factories, and grimaced as he heard the distant noises of buildings crumbling to the ground.  
"Uh oh. I think Yurumi just nuked your friends," he said to the unconscious Hashiru, who was in a fireman's carry over Ranma's shoulders. Sighing, the pigtailed boy put on more speed to get him back to his little sister.

Once he departed the main alleyway, Ranma grimaced at the harrowing, if totally expected, sight that greeted him.  
Three buildings, hopefully empty, lay in ruins with scattered purple fires still burning amongst the debris. Those buildings laid at the end of a long, shallow, blackened trench that had been burned into the ground and stretched back to a large blast crater. In the middle of the crater was Yurumi, crying her heart out as she sat on the blackened ground. Hana and Raven were clutching each other in terror just a few feet from the trench, and look to have been lightly scorched. Several paramedics were clutching each other on the opposite side of the crater from the trench, and they looked unharmed, if not similarly spooked.  
Quickly jogging up to the medical professionals, Ranma gently put Hashiru down on the ground in front of them. "Here ya go. I'm sure you know what to do with this."  
Then he immediately dashed to his sister. "Yurumi! Are you all right?"  
The little redheaded girl whirled around at the sound of her brother's voice, and then scrambled to her feet. "RANMA! I was so scared!" She ran up the shallow slope she had created in the concrete and latched onto Ranma fiercely, still sniffling.  
"Hey, hey, it's all right. It's over now," Ranma said reassuringly, hugging the girl gently as he looked over the area she had devastated. 'Doesn't look like there are many casualties... except for whatever set her off in the first place, of course.' "What happened here?"  
"Th-The mean girl _Sniffle!_ She came an', an' she picked me up and shook me a lot, an' _Sniffle_! She hit the Ninja and the doctor, a-and then she yelled at me!" She buried her face into Ranma's shirt as she continued sniffling, and he rubbed her head to console her.  
"'Mean girl,' huh?" He looked over toward Hana and Raven, who had recovered from their shock well enough to disengage from each other. "Hey, the redheaded chick stop by here? I didn't find anyone else when I found Hashiru!" He yelled to the pair.  
"Er... yes. Yes, she did," Raven said, shaking his head to regain his wits after being nearly vaporized. "She began threatening Miss Yurumi, and... uh... well..."  
"Yeah, I think I can piece together the rest of it," Ranma deadpanned. "It's not a very good idea to scare my sister."  
Raven twitched. "Then WHY did you ask me to watch over her?"  
"So that it wouldn't come to that, hopefully," Ranma said, shrugging. "Besides, you said you were gonna protect her with your life, so I wasn't gonna worry about it."  
As Raven twitched again, Hana looked pensively at the destroyed buildings. "Uhm... hey, do you think... that girl is..."  
"She's toast," Ranma said, continuing to pat his sister on the head reassuringly. "I mean... it's possible she's still alive, but pretty unlikely. And if she isn't dead, she won't be getting up for quite a while. Maybe that'll teach her to pick on little girls." Smirking, Ranma lifted up Yurumi in his arms, who was still sniffling quietly. "Well, we've done enough damage for today. Let's hit the road."  
Yurumi nodded mutely, rubbing her eyes to dry them. Then she grabbed onto to Ranma's shoulders as he boosted her up, and wrapped her leg around to sit on his shoulders.

As he watched the Yagami children depart with the sister riding piggy-back, Raven slumped to the ground and sighed deeply, idly massaging the area where Setsuna had struck him. "The bond of love and trust between brother and sister... unbreakable, even in the face of sudden and fiery annihilation of the former by the latter."  
"Yeah..." Hana said softly, for once fully appreciating Raven's philosophical afterthoughts. "He is SO hot right now."  
The Ninja sweatdropped. "Uh... sure. Let's tend to Lord Hashiru."  
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"Well, that was hardly a perfect trip, was it? I gotta be more careful about who I take with me if I keep running into these superpowered freaks all the time," Ranma murmured, opening the fence gate and heading toward the front door of his home.  
"No, I'm okay," Yurumi said quickly, having recovered significantly and not wanting Ranma to think he couldn't be around her. "I just got scared, that's all. When I really think about it, I don't think she really wanted to hurt me anyway." Then she winced. "I'm... I'm sorry about... uh, you know... the buildings..."  
Ranma snorted, grinning as he stopped on the path. "Bah, don't worry about it. You didn't hurt anybody who didn't deserve it. As long as you're okay, that's all that matters!"  
"You should be careful, though!" Yurumi said suddenly, leaning over forward so that she could look down over Ranma's head. "She said she was looking for a man who uses purple flames with the crescent moon symbol that you have on your jacket. I think she might be from one of those other families that Dr. Tofu told me about that want to hunt down the Yagami family! She might attack you!"  
"If she's still alive," Ranma mentioned as he once again started down the path. Yurumi flinched, and immediately her face darkened. "Flame-wielding family, huh? That would explain some things." He had found Hashiru lying in the middle of a huge scorch mark on the ground that reminded him distinctly of his own fire blasts, and sported a few nasty burns over his upper body, while the rest of him was merely singed. "All in all though, she's probably looking for Pop, not me. And Pop can defend himself."  
"Hmmm..." Yurumi frowned and laid her head down on top of her brother's.  
Reaching the door, Ranma stuck his hand out to grasp the knob when it suddenly swung open of its own accord.  
"Oh! Ranma, you're back!" Nodoka said in surprise.  
Ranma blinked. "Uh... yeah. Weren't you going out earlier?" Taking another look at Nodoka's dress, he revised his question. "Oh, so you're eating dinner late?"  
"We just got a little hung up, that's all," Nodoka said pleasantly, stepping out past her son.  
"'We'?" Iori asked irritably as he stepped out himself, his hands stuffed in his pockets.  
"Anyway, we'll be back in a couple of hours. Smithers can heat up dinner for you when you want," Nodoka explained.  
Yurumi blinked. "Smithers?"  
"It's complicated," Ranma mumbled.  
"Oh, and make sure to keep your guest properly entertained, okay?" The Yagami matriarch said pleasantly, finally taking her leave of her house for the evening.

Ranma frowned as he stepped inside, helping Yurumi off of his shoulders. "Guest? We have a guest? Mom coulda at least told me who it was..." he rubbed his chin as he wondered what, exactly, he was supposed to do to entertain company. Then he noticed that his jacket was hanging on the hook. "Ah! Min must've stopped by!"  
"Ranma! You're home!" Upon hearing her name, Min appeared from the dining room.  
'Oh, so that's who it was. That's not so bad then.' "Yeah, I am. Just had some trouble to deal with over in Hashiru's territory. Big mess over there." He shrugged nonchalantly. "Thanks for bringing my jacket by. I would've stopped by to pick it up myself, but... uhm..." He frowned as he tried to think of a way to explain the situation without sounding like he was afraid of being attacked.  
"It's okay, I understand," Min said happily as she quickly walked over to the pigtailed boy.  
Ranma chuckled a bit nervously. "Yeah, well, in that case-"  
"I understand EVERYTHING," the Ninja girl said throatily, suddenly falling forward on top of the hapless teenage boy and draping her arms around his neck.  
Ranma froze stiff. "Buh? Gluh? Whugh?"  
Yurumi blinked repeatedly as she watched the scene unfold, having a suspicion that the incident was swiftly moving into the "adults only" scope, but too curious to leave so soon.  
Min slowly pressed her body against Ranma's as she moved one hand up to hold the back of Ranma's head, allowing her to push it toward her so that their noses were almost touching. "First off, I wanted to apologize about last night..." she said softly, and Ranma shuddered as he felt her breath over his lips.  
"Yo-You m-mean about going nuts on me in the r-restaurant and th-throwing that fit in front of ev-everyone?" He stuttered out, still not daring to move a muscle.  
"What? No!" Min said, pulling her head back in annoyance and granting Ranma considerable relief as some of the tension evaporated. "You deserved that! I meant about leaving you alone last night!"  
"Huh? Leaving me alone?" Ranma asked in confusion, having no idea what she was talking about.  
Yurumi frowned and planted one hand on her hip while she tapped her chin with the other, trying her best to follow and interpret the conversation.  
"Yes! I was selfish and short-sighted," Min said compassionately, pulling their heads close again. "You have needs too! And after you tried so hard to show me a good time, and fought for me as hard as you did, I ignored that! I'm so sorry!"  
"N-Needs?" Ranma asked, his left eye twitching as realization dawned. "Dear God... YOU TALKED TO MY MOM!"  
Min blinked. "Yeah. Why? Is that a bad thing?"  
Ranma suddenly ripped himself free of Min's grasp, then grabbed her shoulders. "Min, you've got to fight it! Don't give in to this madness! You're stronger than this!"  
"Fight it? Fight what?" The Ninja girl asked, feeling the tables turn as she became more confused.  
"My Mom's crazy! She doesn't know what she's talking about! You don't have to do anything you don't want to! We've only been on one date! It's too soon!" Ranma insisted, staring at her intently. "I'm fine! Don't worry about me! It's okay, really!"  
Min returned his stare for a long moment, then sighed regretfully as she raised a hand up to stroke his cheek. "Oh my... you DO need it bad, don't you?"  
Just as Ranma was about to give up on the poor girl and flee, Yurumi spoke up, startling both of the teenagers as they were reminded of her presence. "So, are you going to go make out now, or what?"  
Ranma jerked back in surprise. "Hey! You're too young to know about that sort of thing!" He said, crossing his arms over his chest as his face burned brightly.  
Min's response was less defensive, though her blush was just as fierce. "Oh... sorry. I guess we should be more careful around kids..."  
"Oh, please," the little girl muttered, smirking at the couple. "I watch TV, you know. It's okay."  
Min immediately turned toward Ranma. "She's got a point. C'mon, let's go nookie."  
Ranma let out a strangled cry as the Ninja attempted to drag him along behind her by his arm, and pressed his heels in against the floor to halt her progress. "As long as we're making apologies, I'd like to say I'm sorry!"  
Min blinked, and stopped in her attempt to drag him along. "For ditching me outside the restaurant?"  
"No. For this." _Bwock!_ Taking the Ninja girl completely by surprise, Ranma pulled one arm to the side and then struck her hard on the back of the head, knocking her out cold in a single strike.

Yurumi stared at the scene in shock as Ranma gently placed the unconscious girl on the floor. "You hit her!"  
"I had no choice," Ranma insisted as he stood back up and scratched his chin thoughtfully.  
"You know, on TV, the guys usually deal with their girlfriends much better than this," the little girl mentioned.  
"Hush. This situation calls for desperate measures. The corruption must be purged before the damage is beyond repair," nodding decisively, Ranma turned toward the coat closet and opened it up, immediately digging into his old traveling backpack that he had returned from China with. "I'm doing this for her sake as well as mine, before she does something we'll both end up regretting."  
"Okay... what are you going to do now?" Yurumi asked dubiously as she watched her brother remove a plastic bottle.  
Ranma held up the bottle, smirking. "I'm going to wash her hair!"  
"..." Yurumi remained silent for a long moment, then sighed and headed toward the kitchen. "Okay, fine. I'm going to find this 'Smithers' person and eat. Please don't beat up your girlfriend anymore."  
"'Kay. Enjoy your meal," Ranma said absently as he popped open the bottle and dug in his backpack for a comb. 'Now how did that go? Left center, left of that, then below, and left again... man, I hate pressure-point techniques...'  
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Setsuna gasped as she fell over into the frigid stream, feeling the cold water combine with the evening chill as it washed over her wounds.  
'I... I was careless...' She thought to herself as she sat down, submerging herself up to her neck. She shuddered as her multiple cuts and abrasions began to numb, bringing much-needed relief to her wounds.  
'But still, who could have imagined that a little girl could have commanded that level of power? Who could have imagined ANYONE wielding that much power?'  
The redhead began to strip off what remained of her clothes after the explosion, giving each wad of wet, torn, and scorched rags a disgusted grunt as she threw them onto to the shore haphazardly. Although it was getting dark, she was still in a fairly well-traveled part of the park, but she paid nudity no mind as she removed the rest of her outfit and let her injuries soak.  
'If I could harness that level of pure destruction...' Her brow creased for a moment, but she shook her head. 'I don't think so. It didn't seem like she had any control. Control is essential. I'll just have to be more careful.'  
Then she scowled. 'But even so, I have to find her again! I just know she can lead me to the man who bears the crescent moon! She's likely even a relative! I can't give up now!'  
She gripped the amulet that hung around her neck, the only article she wasn't willing to toss away for later. It was slightly more bent than before, and was now badly scorched, but was undamaged enough to wear without breaking it.  
'For too long I've been denied! I **will** find him, and I'll crush anybody in my way! I swear it!'  
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"Hey! Min! Is that you?" Tomas asked, waving his arms as he approached the Ninja girl down the street.  
Min turned around at hearing her name called, and blinked as the American ran up next to her. "Oh, hi. Yeah, it's me."  
"Man, you're out kind of late. Did something happen at Ranma's place?" Tomas asked, looking worried.  
Min stared blankly at him for a moment, then massaged her forehead. "Ranma's place... you know... I'm not sure."  
Tomas blinked. "Huh? Not sure? What do you mean? Did you return his jacket or not?"  
"Uhm..." Min frowned, looking slightly dazed. "Well, I must have. I remember going there, and I don't have the jacket now, so I must have given it back, at least." She scratched her head. "For some reason... I can't remember anything I did there. But I must have done something, it's almost nighttime! Hmmmm..." While scratching her head, she ran her fingers through her hair, and idly combed her fingers through her ponytail. "Maybe I took a shower... I feel really refreshed, for some reason."  
Tomas raised an eyebrow. "Uh huh... well, I'll walk you back to your house. Andy must be worried about you."  
Min raised an eyebrow of her own, then smiled and held her hands up. "Ah, no thanks. This Ranma guy we're talking about? We're kind of dating, you know?"  
"Er... Yes, I do know," Tomas said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "What does that have to do with anything?"  
The teenage Ninja looked surprised at that. "Oh! So you just make it a habit to walk girls you don't know safely to their homes? Americans must be nicer than I'd heard!"  
Tomas stared at his cousin for a long, long moment, his left eyebrow twitching. "'Girls I don't know'?"  
Smiling brightly, Min extended her right hand for a Western handshake. "My name is Min Bogard! What's your name?"  
Tomas slapped his forehead. "God damn it. What now?"

End Chapter 15

**Ranran na hakubo - Blazing twilight**: Generates a localized firestorm without any significant kinetic force, making it far more flexible than other fireburst attacks that have to be carefully directed.


	16. Recoveries

I can't write an omake right now...  
I just finished watching Chrono Crusade... I'm so depressed...  
Nearly all the main characters died! And that jackass of a brother forgot everything after the battle was over! I invested so much emotion into that damned meat shield Chrono, and for what? WHAT WAS IT ALL FOR?!  
And I STILL can't figure out what the hell the main bad guy's evil plot was! Stupid religious mumbo-jumbo makes no sense to me!  
I feel so used...

Yagami 1/2  
A Ranma 0.5/King of Fighters Crossover  
by Black Dragon

I'm even too depressed to write a disclaimer... damn it! Fate/Stay Night had better not end like that!  
(Do NOT send spoilers if you have them)

Notes: _Sounds_, **Emphasis or techniques**, Written words, 'Thoughts', "Dialogue", "Dialogue in a different language"

Chapter 16  
Recoveries

"You're kidding! Uncle Terry and Aunt Mary had a baby?" Min squealed, obviously surprised and delighted at the news.  
Her family stared at her in disbelief.  
"This is huge! Is it a boy or a girl? What's the baby's name?" The Ninja girl asked excitedly.  
Behind her, Tomas' eye twitched. "I'm right here, you know."  
Min blinked and turned toward the American, looking at him skeptically. "So... who are you, anyway? Are we hosting a student exchange program or something?"  
"Min, you can't be serious," Mai said worriedly. "That's your cousin, Tomas."  
Min's eyes bulged. "I have a cousin? When did this happen?"  
Tomas sighed and stepped past the partial amnesiac to sit down on the couch. "It's no use. Every time I explain who I am, she just forgets a few seconds later."  
"What did I forget? Did you already tell me your name?" Min asked in confusion.  
Andy frowned. "Min, you remember Terry and Mary but you don't remember that they had a son?"  
"They had a son?" Min gasped. "This is huge! What's his name?"  
A vein popped up on Tomas' head. "It's always something around here, isn't it?"  
"Min, honey, you've obviously had a hard day. Why don't you go to bed a bit early so we can talk to our... guest?" Mai said gently.  
Min looked confused, but recognized that when Mai spoke gently, the only thing soft about her was her voice. She didn't want to still be around when the elder Kunoichi decided that calm and kindness weren't doing the trick anymore.  
"I don't understand," Andy mumbled as Min ascended the stairs, scratching his head. "Did you make her mad or something?"  
"Not to my knowledge," Tomas mumbled. "Well... actually..." his eyes narrowed at his uncle. "She DID catch me trying to trail her for you and grilled me on it, though I got the distinct impression she was more upset with you than me."  
"What? You told her?" Andy growled. "Dammit, Tomas!"  
"Hey, don't get all angry at me!" The American said defensively. "She was onto me after the first sentence! Try doing your own dirty work!"  
"All right, all right, that's enough out of both of you!" Mai said sharply, causing the men to fall silent. "Now look: even if Min was upset enough with Tomas to do something this childish and meaningless, she would at least go about it in a manner that doesn't make her look like an idiot," the buxom Ninja asserted. "Frankly, I think we should just monitor her for a little while to see if there's anything else she's forgotten."  
"What about me?" Tomas groused.  
Mai shrugged helplessly. "Well, to be perfectly honest, forgetting about you isn't that big a problem; if she'd forgotten about one of her closest friends, or a teacher, or myself or Andy it would be a little more serious. At worst, forgetting about you will be annoying."  
Tomas mumbled something discouraging, but didn't protest Mai's logic. "So, what, we're not going to do anything?"  
"Well, can you think of anything that might have caused a sudden, minor, and oddly precise case of amnesia?" Mai asked.  
The American just sighed, not bothering to answer the question.  
"Then we'll wait a few days and see if anything changes. If it persists we'll seek some professional help."  
"Wonderful," Tomas said. "So what am I supposed to do with her in the meantime?"  
Mai shrugged again. "Whatever you want. It would be easiest to treat her as a stranger to avoid confusion, but if you keep telling her who you are, you may work through the memory block or trigger her memories."  
"I wonder..." Andy mumbled.  
Mai turned toward her husband hopefully, hoping he had some keen insight on the matter. "Yes?"  
Andy frowned deeply as he turned toward Tomas. "You said she was on her way back from giving that Yagami kid his coat, right? Do you think he might have done something to her?"  
There was a long silence as Mai and Tomas rolled their eyes.  
"Dear, I know you don't trust Ranma, but now you're being paranoid."  
"Really. Ranma screwing around with people's memories? That's just crazy."  
The blonde man winced. "I... er... yeah, I guess you're right."

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Shower stretched her arms over her head and smiled slightly as she felt the warm rays of the sun beaming down on her face from above.  
Quickly dispensing with the largest measure of sentimentality she'd allow herself that day, she fixed her usual irritated expression on her face before observing the yard.  
'Hmm. Still got lots of wood. The refrigerator's full. The kitchen is clean. The walk is swept...' The aged Amazon raised an eyebrow as she went through the mental checklist of usual chores and found that there was very little to do. 'I have to admit, for all I complain about that girl, it's handy having a pupil around to do all the boring, menial work for me.'  
Many martial arts masters in Shower's position would have felt immense pride in the accomplishments of such an eager and skilled pupil as Shampoo. More self-serving ones would have been very excited about utilizing a new technique to train students, and reveled in the thrill of experimentation.  
Shower was exceptionally down-to-Earth and fairly petty. She found training an apprentice without payment or future service to be a tiresome waste of her time and a near-constant annoyance. Frankly, if she had had anything better to do day-to-day, she would have washed her hands of the entire matter.  
But she was a lonely, bored old widow, and even if she didn't appreciate the company very much, training Shampoo in the lost arts of the Soul of Ice was a thorough distraction.  
It also helped remind her of how bothersome village life was, and kept her from reminiscing. As previously implied, sentimentality was an irritation she refused to invest much time into.

The elderly Amazon was about to turn right back around and go sleep in when she considered her pupil.  
'So where is she, anyway?' Considering her normal attitude, Shampoo should have already found her by now and started pestering her about training.  
Deciding that a nap could wait, Shower turned the corner of her home, scanning the area for any sign of her young apprentice.  
She was extremely nonplussed (which was swiftly becoming a trend when finding Shampoo) to see the lavender-haired Amazon sitting on a tree stump, legs crossed in a meditation pose. She was also deeply immersed in the soul of ice, as one could discern from the layer of frost coating the tree bark.  
Shower's eye twitched. "Shampoo, what are you doing?"  
The younger Amazon slowly opened her eyes, and then regarded her master stonily. "Shampoo meditating."  
"A more elaborate answer, please," Shower deadpanned. "One that I could give to a doctor when I have to explain how you contracted frostbite in late spring."  
Shampoo frowned, and her expression shifted to one of apathetic irritation that she had copied straight from her current master. "Shampoo meditate in Soul of Ice to better use technique and control state of mind."  
"Oh," Shower said simply, "I see."  
Then she kicked her student off of the stump.  
As Shampoo rolled across the ground, her concentration shattered, and she immediately jumped to her feet, her face flushed with anger. "What you do that for?!"  
"That was a test to see if you could maintain the Soul of Ice under stressful conditions," the elderly Amazon said condescendingly. "Really, if you can't hold it with one kick, how do you expect to last the whole fight?"  
Much of Shampoo's anger evaporated, though there was still a quick, intense urge to strike the woman in front of her. "So... Shampoo fail test," she mumbled gloomily.  
"No, you moron, I was lying. I kicked you because I was frustrated with you, and violence was the quickest and most effective way to express that," Shower explained calmly.  
Shampoo was having surprising difficulty controlling her desire to thoroughly thrash Shower after this revelation, which was made all the more clear by the near-inferno that engulfed her body as her battle aura grew and entered into the visible spectrum.  
"So tell me, why were you doing something so stupid as meditating in the Soul of Ice?" Shower asked, apparently unconcerned with the younger Amazon's obvious urge to hurt her.  
"Shampoo tell you. Shampoo want better use technique and control state of mind," she said through clenched teeth.  
Shower rolled her eyes. "And what dunce came up with the brilliant idea to do that through meditation?"  
"Shampoo!" Shampoo shouted. She may have been slightly more hesitant to answer that way if she was familiar with the Japanese word for "dunce," but as it was she was just hoping that her master would hurry up and get to the damn point.  
"Oh, for goodness sake," Shower sighed. "Look, you know how every old crone back in the village touted the power of meditation and the advantages of clearing one's mind and all that bull? Forget it," she snapped. "Meditation is only useful if you have something to meditate ON, and nowadays we call that 'thinking'. No stupid pose required."  
"Why you try so hard disillusion Shampoo?" the teenage Amazon deadpanned.  
"Because you're a bright young woman in modern Japan, and you have no use for the wasteful, outdated customs of a bunch of backwards barbarians out in the Chinese wilderness," Shower said with more heat than usual. "The quaint ancient crap they teach you is just that: quaint ancient crap. Which is all well and good if you're going to live your life in a stick hut in the mountains stabbing people for a living, but around here we practice something called 'civilization' where that sort of nonsense holds no sway."  
Shampoo had to wonder if her master's apparent antipathy toward her former home was a result of their rejection of her, or if she had simply assimilated very thoroughly. "Fine. So that it? That all for what you kick Shampoo?"  
"No. Also, the Soul of Ice is dangerous for you to descend too deep into," Shower explained, her tone now much more somber. "But first, let's go over your reasoning: you want to better use the techniques derived from the Soul of Ice? Great. Sitting around with your eyes closed won't help with that. Next, you want to control the Soul of Ice better? That's stupid."  
Shampoo twitched, and decided that Shower had not assimilated thoroughly to Japan. The Japanese had a tendency to be overly polite and beat around the bush when giving criticism. Shower was even more scathing than Cologne on her worst day.  
"As a result of your conditioning, the Soul of Ice is like a lightswitch. You want it, you turn it on. You don't need it, you turn it off. There is no 'control' to worry about. Or at least, there shouldn't be."  
Shampoo frowned. "But when Shampoo fall out of Soul of Ice, sometimes have hard time controlling self."  
"Yes, I explained that to you," Shower said with an exasperated sigh.  
Sitting on the tree stump (pausing for a moment to brush off the frost), the elderly Amazon crossed her arms over her chest. "While in the Soul of Ice state, your 'warm' emotions are literally held at bay like a dam holding back water. This is why you shouldn't use it for extended periods of time, like DURING MEDITATION." Shifting briefly to a glare, she was disappointed to see that the lavender-haired girl didn't flinch. Apparently Shampoo was growing jaded to her attitude. "When you release the Soul of Ice, it's like a dam opening its floodgates. Well, actually, that implies far more control than you have. It's more like a dam blowing up."  
"There you go! Have no control!" Shampoo pointed out.  
"Hush. Master is talking," Shower snapped. "Now granted, during meditation your emotions don't grow and fester very much, so that's not so much a problem. However, when you meditate there's a chance of tapping deeply into your subconcious, where the Soul of Ice rests waiting for activation. You dip deep enough into that, and there's a chance of emotional contamination. Or personality blurring, you could call it."  
Shampoo fell silent at this, and considered that explanation. "You sure that happen?"  
"I'm sure it CAN happen," Shower mumbled. "I didn't used to be so irritable, you know. Part of immersing myself in the Soul of Ice twenty-four seven was looking upon everything with careless apathy and infinite patience. Sometime after my own conditioning, I lost that trait."  
Shampoo let herself feel a pang of sympathy for the older Amazon. Just as Shampoo had been conditioned to instill an emotionless ki void at will, Shower had undergone a similar process to flood her emotionless ki void with passion so that she could 'interact properly' with her husband.  
Although the elderly woman refused to discuss the topic in detail, Shampoo got the distinct impression that it hadn't worked out very well.  
"And while I doubt you'll find yourself regretting having a bit of cool common sense drilled into your psyche, it's still an unnecessary risk with no chance of reward," Shower insisted. "I've tried for a long time to eliminate the side effects. It's just a necessary sacrifice you have to make."  
Shampoo considered this.  
And then she snorted in annoyance. "So just because you give up, Shampoo supposed to give up too? Not improve self because you say is impossible?"  
Shower blinked. Then she rubbed her chin. "Huh. That's actually a good point. Hold on a moment."  
Shampoo didn't know whether to feel victorious that her master didn't have a snappy comeback for once, or feel cheated that the older Amazon simply made her wait while she thought of one.  
"Okay, how about this:" Shower offered calmly, "You can improve on my techniques once you MASTER my techniques. It's way too early in your training to start solving problems that I gave up on."  
Shampoo winced, though she was still mildly pleased that Shower hadn't come up with that on the spot.  
"That said: I'm your master. So shut up and do what I say," the elder Amazon said haughtily. "That's the one piece of quaint ancient crap that I want to see you practicing. Got it?"  
Shampoo fought down a surge of rebellious energy and forced herself to bow. "Yes, Master. Shampoo not meditate anymore." Then she straightened. "Now we start training, yes?"  
"No, first I'm going to take a nap," the elderly woman deadpanned. "Dealing with your foolishness first thing in the morning is exhausting."  
Shampoo's eye twitched. "It ten in AM."  
"So the barbarian girl can read a clock. Wonderful," Shower drawled as she began walking back to the front door. "I'm going back to bed. Why don't you go knock down trees with your head, or whatever you do to keep busy?"  
A vein popped up on Shampoo's head. 'I swear, when I'm done here, I am going to hurt her. A lot.'

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Near the other side of the island, two individuals with a much healthier relationship also talked about the younger's state of mind, though the subject of conversation was far more serious, and the tone of conversation far less so.  
"I'm telling you, don't worry about it," Ranma chided gently. "What happened isn't important. How you're going to handle things like that in the future IS important, but you shouldn't lose sleep over it. We're all with you, Yurumi."  
The little redhead looked doubtful. "Did they ever find that mean girl who attacked everybody yesterday?" She asked nervously as she rode atop Ranma's shoulders.  
Ranma thought carefully about the question as he carried his sister to school on his way to Furinkan. Yurumi was not a fighter. Ranma WAS a fighter, and even he felt queasy at the thought of killing people. His sister was a gentle and frightened little girl who never wanted to hurt anyone (save MAYBE Ryoga after he had surprised her in the bath) and had great difficulty coming to grips with the idea that she could accidentally vaporize entire city blocks. It didn't help that she was incapable of deliberately vaporizing entire city blocks either; to have that much power and practically no control over it was immensely frightening. Ranma knew this very well.  
That said, he still sucked at diplomacy. "Nah, but I don't imagine there was much left of her to find."  
Yurumi's face darkened, but as she was on top of Ranma's shoulders, he didn't notice. "Oh... is Hashiru okay?"  
"He's fine, though he's still laid up in the hospital. I was thinking about visiting him after school. Wanna come?"  
"Yeah. I hope he's all right." Of course, the only time Yurumi had met Hashiru was when the gang boss had fought Ranma, but even in that short and rather unusual episode, he had given a strong impression that he was really a pretty decent guy (at least as decent as one could possibly hope for from a gang boss).

The rest of the walk to Yurumi's school was made in relative silence, broken only by the chatter of other young elementary school students and the rumbling of car engines as automobiles zipped by.  
"Here we are. I'll see you right after school, all right?" Ranma said as he picked his sister up off his shoulders and set her down.  
Yurumi didn't say anything, but stared down at her feet nervously.  
"Yurumi? What's wrong?" The pigtailed boy said in concern, dropping down to sit on his haunches.  
The little redhead reached out and gripped Ranma's jacket, pulling herself closer to her brother. "Ranma... do you ever get scared?"  
Ranma, naturally, responded with his normal, easygoing bravado. "What, you kiddin'? I'm not scared o' nothin'!"  
Yurumi sweatdropped and frowned. "Ranma, I'm serious..."  
The older Yagami blinked, and then his brow furrowed. "Whaddya mean?"  
"Ranma, we're different from other people. We have a power... and sometimes I'm afraid of what I might do with it..." Yurumi said timidly, clutching his jacket tighter. "Do you ever have problems with... uh... I mean, have you ever..." she trailed off, and Ranma could see in her eyes that her resolve to finish the sentence was waning rapidly. "Uhm... never mind. I just-"  
Before she could turn away and scurry off to school, Ranma took her gently but firmly by the shoulders, startling her slightly. "Yeah. I have."  
The redhead's eyes widened. "You... You mean, you-"  
"Not quite in the same way," Ranma said, cutting her off. "Worse in some ways. Better in others." His expression softened. "And yeah, I'm afraid that it'll happen again. I have to be. If I ever stop being afraid of the consequences, I know I'll end up hurting someone who doesn't deserve it. Or someone I really care about."  
He gently squeezed the little girl's shoulder. "It's good that you're afraid of hurting people, but you can't let that fear control you, or stop you from using your power when you think it can do some good."  
"O-Okay," Yurumi breathed, feeling a little bit of confidence starting to build up in her at her brother's words.  
"So if that girl DOES show up again and tries to hurt you," Ranma said seriously, staring her straight in the eyes. "You do what it takes to keep safe. Whatever it comes down to, the most important thing is that you're okay." Then he smiled. "You got it?"  
Yurumi let go of his jacket and nodded, her lips pressed into a thin line. "Yes! Thank you!" Then she darted forward and hugged him, nuzzling her face into his chest.  
"All right, all right. Get a move on. I'll see you after school," the pigtailed boy said, rubbing Yurumi's head playfully.  
She nodded again and released him. Smiling as she ran off into the flow of little boys and girls, Yurumi was soon lost to Ranma's sight as he slowly stood up smiling softly.

Suddenly, his eyes widened. 'An attack from behind?!' Ranma's reflexes were quick, but only barely quick enough to allow the pigtailed boy to protect his neck and heart as he turned around to face his charging opponent, leaving him otherwise exposed.  
Sadly, this provided little protection from the full effects of the Shiranui family Ninja stealth glomp.  
"That was SOOO CUUUUUTE!!" Min cried as she pressed her victim tightly to her bosom. This was slightly awkward as it left Ranma's hand sandwiched between their respective chests, but she was far too excited to care.  
"M-Min? Wh-What are you doing here?" Ranma stuttered, trying not to fall over backward with the buxom Ninja ruining his balance. Last thing he wanted was to be seen being straddled by a girl in front of dozens of nine and ten year-olds.  
"I wanted to see Yurumi off before we went to school," Min said, sniffling slightly as she nuzzled the Yagami fighter. "But then I saw you talking to her like that, and it was SO adorable I couldn't interrupt!"  
Ranma's face darkened. "Uh... how much of that conversation did you overhear?"  
"I didn't overhear anything. I just saw you two talking. And then the hug was so sweet!" She chirped, grinning as she squeezed Ranma tighter. "Why? What were you talking about?"  
"Oh, just some family stuff," Ranma hedged, wishing Min would let go so the little kids filing into the gates would stop staring at him and the two teachers at the gate would stop scowling at him.  
Spotting Tomas walking slowly down the street toward them, Ranma raised his hand. "Hey Tomas! What's up?"  
The American looked up at him, and seemed annoyed for some reason. "You'll find out in a minute."  
Ranma blinked. "What? Why? Something the matter?"  
Min looked back and forth between Ranma and Tomas, and then let go of the former. "Hey Ranma, who's your friend?"  
That was worth a few more blinks. "He's your cousin," the pigtailed boy deadpanned.  
The buxom Ninja girl gave him a lopsided snort. "Right. I know my family pretty well. I think I'd know if I had a cousin his age. Seriously, who is he? A new exchange student?"  
The chatter of young children filled the ten seconds of complete silence after her statement.  
"Oops," Ranma said in a tiny voice.  
Luckily, Tomas was too busy rubbing his head in annoyance to look for signs of realization or guilt from the flame-user. "It's no use. She doesn't remember me, and for some reason, she CAN'T remember me. It's like I've been completely blocked from her mind or something."  
"Really? That is completely weird and I can't possibly imagine how it happened," Ranma said awkwardly, sweat running down his brow. "Oh, uh... I just remembered something I forgot at home. I'll see you guys at school, okay?"  
"Oh, okay," Min said to the crescent moon on Ranma's back as the young man jetted back up the street at top speed.  
She blinked at his speed, and then scratched her head. "Huh. That was odd."  
"Yeah. Maybe he thought of a reason for this?" Tomas asked.  
"Reason for what?" The Ninja girl asked."Hey, do I even know you?"  
"Dont' start."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After deciding that Ranma's trip back home was probably going to take too much time for her to wait for him, Min shrugged off his departure and decided to head on to school alone.  
Well, alone except for the foreign kid following her and sulking. What was his problem?  
'Probably saw me hug Ranma and figured out that I'm not available,' she decided. Broken teenage hearts were commonplace around her, and though it was kind of sad, she couldn't really do much about it.  
So she ignored the strange fellow as she walked to school, not bothering to leap rooftops or run atop fences or any of the other acrobatic feats she was capable of. Unlike Ranma, she didn't make a habit of showing off her abilities at every opportunity, as she didn't want potential opponents to be able to easily gauge her skill and power. It was a Ninja thing.  
She had just turned the final corner and could see Furinkan just down the block when she spied a one-hundred yen coin lying on the ground in front of a darkened alleyway.  
"Score! That's a free juice!" She said, moving toward the mouth of the alley and reaching down for the coin.  
Min was not a person that worried greatly about her own personal safety. She had no aversion to dark alleys, city parks at night, or seedy areas of town because frankly, anybody who wanted to rob, rape, or otherwise hurt her would either have to be among the top tier of martial artists in the country, or have enough weaponry to destroy a small town in order to do so.  
In that respect, a pair of arms suddenly emerging from the darkness and pulling her into the shadows was really the last thing she expected, whereas most girls would find it among their top five.  
"HEY!! LET GO!!" _Crash! Whump!_  
Tomas gaped as he watched a garbage can bounce out of the alley, and dashed up to the area at top speed to help, although he seriously doubted he'd be needed.  
He was right, though not for the reasons he expected. As soon as he reached the alley, Min stumbled back onto the sidewalk as if she had been shoved out, looking extremely disoriented. Oddly enough, her ponytail had also been undone, leaving her long, sandy blonde hair flowing gently over her shoulders.  
"Hey! Are you alright?" Tomas asked in concern, taking a guarded stance as he peered into the alley.  
Min blinked several times, then her hands snapped to her bookbag to make sure it was still there. "Uh... yeah. I think so," she mumbled uncertainly. A quick check confirmed that her pocketbook was still on her, and still had all her money.  
Tomas frowned as he stepped into the alley, not being able to see or sense any other presence. "What happened? Did they touch you anywhere?"  
"Uh... well, no. I mean, yes, but just on the arm and my head, I think," the Ninja girl muttered.  
"So, what, someone just grabbed you, stole your hair ribbon, and then took off?" The American asked, shifting around some old discarded boxes and finding nothing. 'Man, whoever grabbed her is FAST! And where would they go? This alley's a dead end!'  
"I really don't know. It all happened so fast!" Min mumbled. "I think I got in a solid shot to the crotch, though. Maybe that scared him off." She shook her head, idly noting that she felt oddly refreshed, for some reason. "Well, whatever. We'd better hurry up or we'll be late for class."  
Tomas froze, halting his thorough sweep of the alley for clues. "Hold it. 'We'?"  
"Yes, 'we'. Or were you planning on playing hooky?" The Ninja girl asked.  
Tomas pointed to himself. "Min, who am I?"  
She raised an eyebrow. "Why? You forget?"  
"No, but last I checked, you did," the American said seriously.  
Min didn't understand that comment, but answered his question. "You're Tomas Bogard, son of Terry Bogard - my dad's brother - and Mary Bogard. You were born in South Town in the U.S., and you're seventeen years old. You want me to go into personal history and fighting style?" She asked, wondering just what was going on that she'd have to tell him this.  
"Huh. Weird. Very weird," Tomas mumbled, sticking his hands in his pockets.  
"Hey, what's this all about? Why are you asking me a question like that?"  
Tomas shrugged. "It's hard to explain. You were having memory problems, but apparently you don't REMEMBER having memory problems, so..."  
"What do you mean I had memory problems? Did I forget your name?" Min asked in concern.  
"You forgot that I **existed**," the American said bluntly. "And you had problems retaining it when I reminded you."  
"Whoa... that IS weird," Min mumbled uncomfortably.  
Tomas frowned at her for a moment, and then started walking toward Furinkan again. "Well, whatever happened, I guess the shock of being attacked snapped you out of it or something. Let's go to school."  
"Hmm..." Min still looked rather disturbed, but let the subject go. "I hope Ranma comes back soon. You know that explosion they said happened in the warehouse district yesterday? Apparently the explosion was purple. I wanted to ask him about it."  
Tomas raised an eyebrow. Fireworks aside, if a detonation was purple, there was pretty much only one family that could be responsible. "A purple explosion, huh? And right in Hashiru's territory, too."  
"No, it was the territory of this street gang called 'Clan Ra'."  
"Well, yeah. And Hashiru runs that gang."  
"What? You know the boss of Clan Ra?"

Laying on edge of the roof above, Ranma groaned and slapped his forehead as he overheard the Bogards' conversation. "God, I hate pressure point techniques," he mumbled, shifting slightly to accomodate the aching in his groin. Min truly did have a top-notch grapple defense. At least against a male attacker.  
"Huh. I should get some cold water before trying again," he said to himself as he stood up tenderly.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So, do you at least remember Kuno?" Tomas asked, jabbing a thumb at the kendoist, who was leaning against a tree in Furinkan's yard, arms crossed over his chest.  
"Unfortunately, yes," Min mumbled irritably, still finding it suspicious that she was supposedly forgetting specific people at random. "Though last I saw him he didn't look so sullen. Did he finally wake up from his extended samurai fantasy or what?"  
"No, Ranma told him that he was too weak to challenge him anymore, and said he wasn't going to fight him," Tomas said, not going into detail. Min didn't need to know about how the declaration was phrased, and frankly, Tomas didn't want to have to recall the memory.  
Min snorted. "So what? Why isn't he running around with his stupid stick on his shoulder saying 'The evil sorcerer has refused to fight me out of fear of my prowess! At last, all can see that I am his better!'"  
The American tilted his cap up as he considered that question. "Well, putting aside the remote possibility that he finally recognizes that Ranma is better than him, think about it: getting kicked around by Ranma was the lynchpin of Kuno's daily routine. I mean, I'm pretty sure his whole DAY revolved around Yagami." He began ticking off points on his fingers. "Kuno comes to school early so that he can get in position to challenge Ranma when he arrives. He attacks Ranma in the hall after biology, so that he's only laid up in the nurse's office during study hall. He has his lunch delivered to the nurse's office so that he's done eating by the time lunch actually begins and has plenty of time to fight Ranma or bug you or pine over Akane Tendo. And when he goes home, he spends all his time practicing his kendo to try and close the enormous gap between his and Ranma's skills."  
Min frowned deeply. "You make it sound like an obsession."  
"No, it's not an obsession, but really, if you take away Ranma, what's left for Kuno to do? And more to the point, who's going to care?"  
"I always thought he'd put more time into sexual harassment," the Ninja girl said irritably.  
Tomas shrugged. "Maybe. But getting beat up by girls you're trying to date is a real drag. Getting beat up by your rival is to be expected, at least occasionally. And while we're on the subject, didn't he always blame Ranma for you and Tendo not liking him?"  
Min's brow creased as she stared across the courtyard at the older student. "Good God... Ranma was his whole world, wasn't he?"  
"It sounds really weird when you say it like that, but yeah," the American deadpanned.

"Ah, if it isn't the dirty foreigner Tomas Bogard!"  
Min and Tomas both stared as the kendoist approached, bouncing his bokken on his shoulder.  
"I see that once again you foul the presence of the lovely and divine Kunoichi with your vile presence! No doubt you desire to take her for yourself, like so many of the unclean lowborn among us," the kendoist said haughtily, glaring eye-to-eye with the American.  
Min's aura flared. "KUNO!! That's my COUSIN, you sicko! And watch that 'foreigner' crap! I'm half American, you know!"  
Tomas, for his part, simply stared at the other boy impassively, hands still in his pockets.  
"You are indeed a most wonderous creature; for your Japanese heritage masks well your foreign blood." Then Kuno snorted, looking at Tomas. "Do not think yourself safe from the vile lusts of this scoundrel due to blood relations, my love. Surely you are familiar with the reputations of foreign filth hailing from the American south?"  
A vein popped up on Min's head, and she slowly reached for her battle fans.  
Tomas snickered.  
Min and Kuno both blinked, surprised by the response.  
"Heh. Southerners. That was pretty funny," Tomas said, smirking. "Anyway, I don't have time for this. Later." With that, he moved straight ahead toward the front doors, simply shoving Kuno out of the way when he came within reach.  
Kuno staggered to the side, windmilling to keep his balance. "Knave! How dare you lay hands upon my person! Turn and fight such that I, Tatewaki Kun-"  
_Slam!_ The front entrace to the main building slammed shut, cutting Kuno off mid-rant.

"... Okay, this is NOT happening," Min said uneasily as she watched the kendoist sit down against the tree he had been leaning on, hugging his legs to himself in complete silence. A patch of darkness seemed to materialized over him in his depression, and little mushrooms started popping out of the ground around him.  
"Wow, it's true," Akane mumbled, coming up from behind the Ninja girl. "I thought Nabiki was kidding when she said Kuno was having depression issues. It just seems so... UNLIKE him, you know?"  
Min didn't respond, instead picking up the longest stick in the immediate vicinity and poking Tatewaki repeatedly in the shoulder. "Hey. Hey, Kuno. You okay? Hey."  
"You... need not fear for my... well-being, my love..." the kendoist mumbled despondently, "for I... am of indestructible body and... indomitable spirit..."  
"His words don't really match his expression, huh?" Akane asked, tilting her head to one side.  
"My most delicate princess of the shadows... Min Bogard... and the lovely but fierce tigress... Akane Tendo... my loves... I would date with thee..."  
Akane and Min glanced at each other. "No," they said in tandem. Both of them felt pity for the annoying kendoist's current state, but they didn't feel THAT sorry for him.  
"Oh... okay then..." Kuno mumbled, hugging his legs tighter to himself.  
"This is just pathetic. I'm going to class," Akane said disdainfully, walking toward the front doors.  
Min nodded in agreement, though she continued poking Kuno a few more times before she left as well.

The moment Min was out of earshot, a head with bright red hair tied in a pigtail popped out among the tree's branches.  
"Hmm... there are a lot more people here. How'm I gonna ambush Min now?" Ranma wondered aloud.  
"Third story... Second period..." Kuno mumbled from below. "Her locker is on the first floor... by the time she gets to class... the halls are empty..."  
Ranma blinked, craning her head to look underneath her. "Oh. Thanks Kuno." Under normal circumstances she would have been suspicious or even angry that Kuno knew something like that so well, but for now Ranma could hardly claim the moral high ground.  
"You're welcome, pigtailed girl... if you would care to date-"  
The kendoist trailed off at the rustle of branches, and glanced upward briefly as he spied the redhead leaping into one of the open second-story windows, apparently ignoring him.  
_Crackle! Boom!_ A tiny rain cloud manifested over Kuno's head, drenching him in a sudden downpour.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Aw, shoot, now I'm late," Min muttered irritably as she leapt straight up the stairwell and grabbed the railing above to hoist herself up. "If Tomas would have just explained to me who that Hasho-whatsit guy was that he was asking Keitoro about, I wouldn't have stuck around."  
Of course, Tomas had explained, very briefly, who Hashiru was no less than three times during the conversation. But Min didn't remember that.  
As mentioned before, Min didn't worry very much about being assaulted out of nowhere (although one might start to wonder if a little paranoia might do the girl some good). But then, even the most safety-conscious girls wouldn't worry about moving in front of broom closets that are left open just enough for someone to peek out of, at least at school.  
So, Min was once again caught totally by surprise as a hand burst out of the janitor's closet, grabbed her arm, and then pulled her into the closet with shocking strength.  
"HEY!! What the hell?! Not again!" The Ninja shouted, struggling as best she could. _Whap! Thud!_  
"Gah!" Min yelled in surprise as she was forcibly ejected from the closet, and then whirled around just in time for the door to slam shut.  
Growling, the Ninja girl wrenched the door open.  
"... The hell?" She mumbled, looking at the interior; empty save for several mops and brooms, plus a mop bucket that had apparently been broken in the brief struggle.  
Looking at the ceiling, Min's eyes narrowed at the open ventilation shaft. "Oh, you've gotta be kidding me." After spending a moment to take stock of her current belongings again, she left for class again, shaking her head.  
It was this action that made her realize that her hair was unbound again. "They stole my hair ribbon again? That was my back-up! Damn it!"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So apparently some weirdo is swiping all my hair supplies," Min explained irritably as she poked at her bento. "What's wrong with these people? First a little old man stealing underwear, and now some freak is taking hair ribbons?" Her hair was once again in a ponytail, though it was now bound by a fresh rubber band. "Next thing you know we'll have some loser robbing people of their shoelaces."  
"It is weird that you've been jumped twice and they didn't do anything to you other than take your hair accessories," Tomas mumbled over his own lunch, "but I really doubt this is just some perverted stalker trying to collect your stuff."  
"Really? What other explanation is there?" Min asked.  
"It's not so much a matter of alternatives as it is that it really doesn't make sense," Tomas reasoned. "Anybody who knows you even a little bit knows better than to try and rob you, even if it's for something as worthless and easy to get as a hair ribbon." He ate a mouthful of rice before continuing. "But that aside, do you remember Hashiru?"  
Min blinked. "Yeah, of course I remember him. He took me hostage for a while after I stormed his territory. And then later we all-" suddenly her brow furrowed. "Wait, don't tell me I forgot him the way I forgot about you?"  
"Yeah, you did. It's a little worrying that every time you get jumped, you remember somebody." Tomas took another bite. "So who'd you forget this time?"  
The Ninja girl scowled at him, crossing her arms under her breasts. "If I can't remember them, how would I know if I've forgotten them?"  
"Can't remember who?"  
The Bogard cousins turned at the voice to see Akane approaching with Yuka and Sayuri in tow.  
Tomas hesitated, wondering if he should really bother filling in the youngest Tendo on the situation. It's not like she could likely help, and his own relationship with her could at best be considered cold.  
Akane's relationship with Min was notably warmer, but not much so. She mostly ended up hanging around Min because her friends did, and Yuka and Sayuri seemed to hang around Min because the young Ninja was swiftly becoming the most popular girl in school and they were hoping for some attention by proximity.  
After a short deliberation, Tomas shrugged and decided to give her the short version. "Min's having memory problems. We're not sure why."  
Yuka blinked. "Whoa... that sounds kind of serious."  
"Yeah, are you sure you should be in school?" Akane asked, frowning as she sat down across from the Ninja girl.  
"Well... I don't think it's that big a problem," Min reasoned. "It's annoying, sure, but I don't see much point in staying home. It's not like I'm missing huge chunks of my life or forgetting basic information, just a few people."  
"What about going to see a doctor or something?" Akane asked. "What if it's something serious?"  
"It doesn't seem to be, but Aunt Mai said if the problem gets worse or doesn't improve in a while, then she should see someone about it," Tomas said as he finished up his lunch. "Though I'm not sure whether forgetting new people and remembering the ones you forgot before means it's getting better or worse."  
"Well, I still think you should see someone," Akane said, frowning. "I know a good doctor who practices near the school. He's actually a chiropractor, but he knows a lot of strange stuff like ki flows and pressure points. He might know something about selective memory loss."  
"Hmm... well, maybe tomorrow, if it's still a problem then," Min mused. Then she smiled at Akane. "By the way, I didn't catch your name. I'm Min Bogard!"  
Akane, Yuka, and Sayuri froze in place and stared. Tomas sighed and opened a soda.  
Min noted the girls' expressions, and a doubtful expression crossed her face. She leaned over to Tomas. "Pst! Do I know her?" She whispered.

Before Tomas could think of a sarcastic response or Akane could start sputtering in disbelief, a certain pigtailed redhead walked up to the table looking quite irritated, and sporting a bruise around her left eye.  
"Min, I need to see you for a minute," the aquatranssexual deadpanned.  
The Ninja girl blinked. "About what?"  
Without answering, Ranma took her by the arm and started walking toward the cafeteria exit.  
"What's wrong? Where are we going? Hey, what happened to your eye?"

Tomas stared at the girls' backs until the door closed behind them, wondering.  
Then he shook his head and started guzzling down his soda. 'Probably best not to think about it,' he decided.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Frankly, when the doctors took stock of Hashiru's injuries, they were surprised he was still alive," Hana said anxiously, looking up at Tomas as she explained her cousin's condition. "No 'normal' person could have survived that much internal bleeding. His spine didn't suffer any serious damage, but they're not sure how his heart and lungs are faring, so they wouldn't give me a definite answer about his recovery."  
Tomas frowned, rubbing his chin. "This is serious. And you say this girl was our age?"  
"Maybe a little bit older. Have you ever heard of anyone matching that description?" Hana asked.  
The American shook his head. "No, but then, I haven't been in Japan for very long. Did Ranma recognize her?"  
"Ranma didn't get a chance to see her before his little sister vaporized her," Hana said, shrugging.  
"..." Tomas frowned and moved his cap up for a moment to scratch his head. "Wait... I'm sorry, could you say that a little slower? My Japanese still isn't perfect..."  
"Oh, I'm sorry!" The bespectacled girl said, flushing slightly. "Although the way you talk, you do seem completely fluent. Ranma didn't see the girl. Yurumi vaporized her first."  
"Now, right there, you see, I think I'm having trouble with the word 'vaporize,'" Tomas decided.  
"Uh... well, destroyed. Killed. Annihilated. Blew up. Demolished. Wiped out..." Hana scratched her chin as she tried to think of more synonyms.  
"Huh. Okay, well, obviously it's a grammar problem, then," Tomas muttered, crossing his arms over his chest. "Because I keep getting the idea that Yurumi did that to our new girl rather than the other way around."  
Hana blinked. "She did." Then she snapped her fingers as realization dawned. "Oh! I guess you don't know, huh? Apparently Yurumi fires high-yield fire beams when she's frightened! Leveled three warehouses and burnt down two more."  
Tomas' cap fell off his head. "... Oh."  
Hana nodded seriously. "Yeah. It was kind of scary."  
Tomas frowned in silence for a long time. "I have to ask: does weird stuff like this happen all the time here, or just around Yagami?"

Before Hana could respond, the door to the girls' bathroom opened up nearby and Min stalked out of it, apparently in the midst of chastising someone behind her.  
"Whatever. I don't know who you are, but I don't have time for this. So just leave me alone, all right?"  
A moment later Ranma emerged from the bathroom, carrying a comb and a bottle in her hands. "Oh, come on! You don't remember me? Ranma Yagami?"  
Min snorted and glared over her shoulder. "Ranma Yagami is a MAN. Now bugger off."  
"Min! Wait up!"

Hana frowned as Min descended the stairs with Ranma following closely, obviously agitated.  
"He DOES seem to be setting a new standard," she admitted. "Uh... are you gonna go after them?"  
"I gave up on figuring this amnesia thing out hours ago," the American admitted. "Let Ranma deal with it. So, are you gonna visit him after school?"  
"Yeah, I thought I should. Though there's no guarantee they'll be allowing visitors," Hana said sullenly.  
"Hey, lighten up!" Tomas said suddenly, cupping her chin and tilting it upward slightly. "The doctors don't know who they're dealing with. Fighters of Hashiru's caliber can come back from near-death experiences in top form. He'll be fine, I know it."  
"Sure, you're absolutely right," Hana mumbled dazedly as her cheeks flushed and her eyes glazed over. "The caliber of the top forms death's experiences."  
Tomas blinked. Repeatedly. "Say what?" Then he noticed that there were tiny pink cherry blossoms flowing along the breeze around him, which was unusual primarily because the hall windows were closed, thus preventing the entry of both foliage and wind. "What's going on here?"  
He didn't receieve an answer to his question, but in the process of looking around in a confused panic, he spotted Tatewaki Kuno trudging down the hallway.  
It was certainly worth noting, among the other meteorological impossibilities, that the kendoist had a tiny raincloud following him overhead, perpetually drenching the upperclassman and leaving a trail of water puddles in his wake. Behind him followed the school janitor, calmly putting down Caution! Wet floor cones every five meters or so.  
"I've really gotta consider going back to the States," Tomas mumbled, his eye twitching. "I don't know how much more of this I can take."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When school let out, Min, Hana, Ranma, and Tomas all met up at the front gate of Furinkan so that they could head to the hospital together.

"My father Andy, my mother Mai, my little brother Toji, my little sister Kikyo, and then there's Uncle Terry, Aunt Mary, and my cousin Tomas," Min said wearily. "Did I miss anybody?"  
"Not that I know of, no," Ranma (back in male form) confirmed, nodding. "Now how about my family?"  
Sigh. "There's you, your little sister Yurumi, your mother Nodoka, and your father Iori."  
"And our butler, Smithers. Though I don't think you knew about him."  
"Huh? Since when do you have a butler?"  
"Long story."

Tomas was fairly nervous, both from the number of strange happenings that he had been witness to, and from the effort required to ignore Ranma and Min. He claimed to have dismissed Min's amnesia as a hopeless case, but frankly all the pieces of the puzzle kept rattling around in his ear as the conversation behind him and Hana progressed, begging to be put together.

"Okay, so do you remember what happened when you went back to my place to give me my jacket?" Ranma asked.  
Min opened her mouth to respond, and then slowly closed. "I... No. I don't," she said worriedly. "All I remember was going out and then coming back."  
"That's perfect," Ranma said before pausing and shaking his head. "Er... perfectly weird, I mean."  
Min frowned. "Did anything happen at your place?"  
"No, of course not. Certainly nothing worth knocking you out and brainwashing you over... not that I or anyone I know would or could do that to you even if something like that DID happen."  
"Something like what?"  
"Never mind that. But on a completely different subject, you probably shouldn't have any long chats with my mom."

It didn't help the American's disposition one bit when they picked up Yurumi from her elementary school. Though it took his mind off of whether or not Ranma could memory-wipe people and what he might possibly use that ability for, he just couldn't help but stare uneasily at the little girl.

'Three warehouses in a single blast? What the heck?! She always seems so helpless!'  
Yurumi smiled weakly at the American, and then slowly edged over to Hana. "Pst! Why does he keep looking at me like that?" She whispered uneasily.  
"Oh, he just heard that you blew up that nasty girl the other day, that's all. He's probably wondering how careful he has to be in order to avoid being cremated," Hana said bluntly, idly adjusting her glasses.  
Yurumi's face darkened. Tomas' eye twitched.  
"You're supposed to whisper it back, you know," Yurumi mumbled.  
"Don't worry about it," Ranma said suddenly as he caught up to Tomas and slapped the older boy on the back. "She only blows stuff up when she's physically threatened. She's perfectly safe to be around."  
"Mmm," Tomas mumbled noncommitally. 'You say that, but... damn! And the fire burnt down two more buildings?'  
"Wait, wait, wait," Min said, speeding up slightly to step alongside Ranma. "Yurumi blows stuff up? Since when?"  
"Since a year or so ago," Ranma said vaguely, not remembering how old Yurumi was when she started having her "accidents."  
The Ninja girl turned and raised an eyebrow at the redhead, who wilted at the attention and looked down at her feet. "Can she show me?"  
"NO, she CAN'T," Ranma said firmly in a hard tone that made Min wince, "because it involves scaring the hell out of her, and I won't let anybody do that if I can help it."  
"Okay, okay, sorry! I didn't know," Min said, backing off quickly. "It's just so hard to believe. She always seems so... harmless."  
Yurumi sighed. "I wish I **was** harmless..."  
"Eh, not hurting people is overrated," Min said off-handedly. "Trust me, you'll be glad you can light jerks on fire when you get older. It comes in handy."  
Yurumi and Hana sweatdropped as Ranma and Tomas nodded in agreement (While Tomas couldn't light people on fire persay, his own abilities with ki worked just fine).  
"So, what's it like being normal?" The youngest Yagami deadpanned, turning to Hana.  
"Eh, it's all right. I mean, it's nice not getting beaten up all the time, but it absolutely KILLS your character development," the bespectacled girl said seriously.  
"Quiet you two, we're here."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The hospital visit was supposed to be short and sweet. Just hop in, say hi, dump some pity on the gang boss, inform him that his assailant had been wiped from existence - along with a good chunk of his gang's territory - and then leave with a simple "get well soon," as if he was getting over the flu rather than making an accelerated recovery from injuries that would have slain a lesser superhuman.  
Instead, Hana - ever the concerned relative who couldn't let go of the silly idea that the human norm for illness and injury should be applied to ALL humans - had demanded a complete medical update from the doctors.

"The burns didn't seem too serious from the beginning, though he's even managed to recover from those at amazing speed; there's hardly even any superficial damage left after one night," the doctor said, trying to ignore the way the pigtailed youth in the back was tapping his foot.  
"What about the broken bones?" Hana asked, clutching her bookbag to her chest as she fidgeted.  
"Well, I honestly have no idea what's holding his ribcage together at this point," the man said honestly, shrugging. "The man's upper body has suffered too many fractures, and we're afraid that if we try to piece it back together we might interfere with whatever miracle is healing the internal bleeding in his chest. We've set his leg, however, and corrected the hairline fractures in his skull as well as the minor damage to his spinal column. It's obviously very early to say he'll be fine, but I see no specific reason at this point why he can't eventually make a full recovery."  
Hana let out a deep breath of relief. Min grinned and turned to Yurumi, who smiled back at hearing the news. Ranma and Tomas both rolled their eyes, knowing full well that someone of Hashiru's level could make a full recovery from anything less than dismemberment.  
"So, can we see him now? He's conscious, right?" The younger Keitoro asked.  
"Yes, he should be. Though he's proven oddly resistant to the painkillers, he requested lighter doses, claiming he could 'tough it out.'" The doctor shrugged. He didn't really care if his patients wanted to suffer more, so long as they didn't complain or sue.  
Hana's expression of relief immediately turned to one of annoyance. "He WOULD say something like that. The moron."  
The doctor didn't bother to add anything as he led the kids down the hall, eventually coming to the correct door and taking hold of the knob.  
He frowned when it didn't budge when he turned it. "Huh. It's locked."  
"Oh. They giving him a bath or something?" Ranma asked.  
"No, not at this time of day. I should ask and see..." he trailed off and frowned as a clattering noise came from within the room. "Hm... this door should not be locked."  
Ranma and Tomas gave each other doubtful looks. Hana's eyebrow twitched. Yurumi just looked confused.  
Min, on the other hand, smirked before suddenly looking thoughtful. "Huh. You know, something dangerous might be going on in there."  
"Huh? Like what?" Tomas asked.  
"Well, think about it. Whether or not he's a decent guy, Hashiru is still a gang boss, right? Meaning he HAS to have rivals and competitors," Min explained, raising her index finger in the air as she made her point. "Wouldn't now be a good time to send an assassin? When he's nearly helpless and bedridden?"  
"WHAT?!" Ranma shouted, immediately pushing the doctor out of the way and raising his leg.  
"N-No! Ranma, don't!" Hana shouted.

_Smash!_ "Hashiru!!" The pigtailed boy yelled as the door burst open, immediately falling off its hinges and landing to the side. "Are you all ri-"  
"EEEEEEEEEEEEK!!"  
Ranma and Tomas screeched to a halt and nearly fell over each other as they caught sight of the topless nurse straddling their friend, who himself appeared to be entirely nude other than his cast and bandages (they couldn't really tell, as the nurse was both obstructing their view and holding their attention).  
A vein popped up on Hashiru's head as he quickly grabbed a bed sheet from the floor. "First, you don't show in time to help before the redhead aces me, and now this. You have miserable timing, you know that Yagami?"

Hana slapped her palm against her forehead, having expected this scenario, and cast a brief glare at Min, who was grinning brightly as she held her hands over Yurumi's eyes.  
"What was that scream? What happened?" the redhead asked, confused and a little scared.  
"Oh, just having some fun at the rich boy's expense," Min said, snickering. "Hold on. It'll be PG in a minute."

The doctor poked his head in, and frowned at the blushing and stuttering nurse. "Ah, Miss Kamurazaka. I was wondering where you went after your break was up."  
"Uh, D-Doctor Matsu, I c-can explain," the woman stuttered, quickly clutching her discarded uniform to her chest.  
"I'd rather not hear it, thank you," the man said disdainfully, "and while I appreciate your dedication to _Ahem!_ 'customer service,' it's time you got back to your regular shift duties."  
"Ack! Sorry! Sorry! I'm so sorry!" The woman squeaked as she curved around Ranma and Tomas and then dashed down the hall to the women's restroom to change.  
The doctor, Ranma, and Tomas all stared at the doorway through which she left for a moment before turning to stare at Hashiru, who was now covered appropriately with the sheet.  
Another vein popped up on his head. "You guys **suck**, you know that?"  
"Yes, well, be that as it may," Doctor Matsu said condescendingly, "no matter how invincible you think you are, you are still a recovering patient, and any strenuous activity could complicate your recovery. So please refrain from seducing my nurses without consulting me first."  
"Sure. Take all the fun out of it," the gang boss deadpanned.  
The doctor sighed and turned around. "He's all yours. Take your time," he said to the visitors as he exited the room.

"Uhm... I-I'm really sorry," Ranma said awkwardly, tugging on his pigtail as he spoke. "I didn't think you'd be, er... you know."  
"I did!" Min said cheerfully as Yurumi looked up at her, confused.  
Tomas nervously fiddled with the bill of his cap as he stared down at the floor. "We heard some noise, and thought you might be under attack or something."  
"Who came up with that stupid idea?" Hashiru asked, his voice nearly at a growl.  
"Me again!" The Ninja girl chirped.  
Hashiru glared at her for a moment. "You realize that I'll make you pay for this." She just stuck her tongue out at him.  
"Well Hashi, you can't be in TOO bad shape if you're already working on the daytime staff," Hana deadpanned.  
"The doc says that at the very least I should be able to walk again in a month," the gang boss said more cheerfully. "I figure that means I'll be back in the weight room by Wednesday."  
"What is it about men that makes them want to get out of the hospital and go right back to injuring themselves before they've even completely healed?" The bespectacled girl asked tiredly.  
"We're just cool like that," Ranma said in his super-cocky tone as he grinned.  
Tomas frowned. "Well, I was gonna say fear of needles, but Ranma's excuse is better."  
"Seriously though," Hashiru continued, "my ribs are giving me a little bit of trouble, but that's no biggie. I can be home by tomorrow, and crack the cast open by this weekend."  
"That doesn't mean you should!" Hana growled, leaning over the brawler.  
"Aw shucks, are you worried about lil' ol' me?" Hashiru said playfully, reaching up and rubbing his cousin on the head.  
Hana simply stared down at him with a glare that Ranma would have considered downright venomous in another context.  
"You really took some serious damage, though," Tomas mused, rubbing his chin. "And from what Keitoro tells me, that girl wasn't exactly limping away from the scene. What kind of powerhouse could tear through Clan Ra and then rip you up like that? Put your hand down, Ranma."  
Ranma did so, frowning as he realized that Tomas hadn't even glanced over at him.  
Hashiru sobered quickly as the topic turned more serious. "She was on a whole other level than me, that's for sure. Not far out of my league, but far enough. She'd probably be a challenge for one of the first-tier fighters around here, like the local Bogards or even Ranma's father himself."  
Ranma frowned more deeply, not liking the implication that this new girl was beyond him.  
Then he suddenly smiled at Yurumi. "Or she **would** have been, anyway. Hey kiddo! You came to see me too?"  
The redheaded child flushed in embarrassment as she stepped up to the bed. "Yes... uh... I'm really sorry about the-"  
"Hey, hey, don't apologize," the brawler said quickly, looking serious again as he reached out and lightly mussed her hair. "You've got nothing to be sorry about. You did what you had to do. I'm just glad you're safe." Then his smirk returned. "After all, if you'd gotten hurt, then your big brother would have broken every bone in Raven's body, and then I'd have to pick up more medical bills. You know how health insurance is nowadays; doesn't pay for squat."  
Yurumi giggled at this, much to Ranma's relief. 'Leave it to Hashiru Yamazaki to know how to talk to a girl,' he thought wryly.  
Min scratched her head. "Who's Raven? One of your lackeys?"  
"Yeah, you've met him," Hashiru said, turning toward the Kunoichi. "He's my personal Ninja."  
Min, for her part, looked flabbergasted. "You have a Ninja? I didn't know that."  
Ranma's face darkened. Tomas massaged his head. Hana and Hashiru sweatdropped.  
"You know what?" Ranma said suddenly. "Screw it. She doesn't need to remember bird-boy. I'm quitting while I'm ahead."  
"What are you talking about?" Min asked, now looking rather worried. "Did I forget someone else?"  
"No," the pigtailed boy said unconvincingly. "Now somebody change the subject, quick."

"Oh-kay..." Hashiru said slowly, curious as to what Min's problem was, but figuring, like Tomas, that he was probably better off not knowing. "So, where's your lady-friend Shampoo, Yagami? She didn't wanna come see poor ol' Hashi?"  
Ranma rolled his eyes at the mock hurt in Hashiru's voice, though it was a fair enough question. Shampoo knew Hashiru well enough to drop in on him after he had been seriously hurt, especially if everyone else was going. "She isn't around. She went on an extended training trip."  
"Oh? A training trip?" The gang boss tilted his head to the side and rubbed his chin, considering the idea. To him, training was a continual, never-ending part of the day-to-day routine, and not something that one set aside special outings for. "I didn't know anybody still did stuff like that."  
"Feh! All the REAL martial artists know that proper combat training has to take place in the wild," Ranma said disdainfully, waving his index finger around in the air. "It's no wonder your 'Clan Ra' toadies keep getting plowed over every few weeks! Real training isn't just about fighting, it's about survival; testing your endurance against the fury of the elements! You'll never get tough if you're pampered and taken care of the whole time you're training!"  
Min and Hashiru's face darkened even as Tomas snickered (being the only other one present who had taken extensive training trips).  
"He DOES have a point," Min began.  
"But does he have to lecture us like an old man?" Hashiru finished.  
A vein popped up on Ranma's head. "No excuses! Don't think you've reached the top just because you can create fire with your mind or throw people's energy blasts back at them!"  
Hashiru smirked wryly as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Well it's not like YOU can throw peemmhhmmph..." his eye twitched as he stopped trying to speak past the wad of cotton Ranma had stuffed in his mouth.  
"You know, maybe Shampoo has the right idea," Ranma said to himself, rubbing his chin. "With this new girl coming along and creaming Hashiru, we could all use a bit of a power boost. Being in the city for so long tends to make you lazy."  
"Who's lazy?" Min said irritably. As she had trained in the city her entire life, and couldn't be considered lazy by any stretch of the imagination (except Ranma's, apparently), she didn't like where this was going.  
The pigtailed boy ignored her. "Yeah, that'll do perfectly! The weekend after next, let's all go to the mountains on a training mission!"  
"Hey, don't go deciding things all by yourself," Hashiru deadpanned as he picked strands of cotton out of his mouth. "I've got things to do, ya know."  
Hana snorted. "Oh, please. All you do on the weekends is go tomcatting at parties."  
"Yes. Yes, I do," the playboy said shamelessly. "And spending the weekend wrestling with guys while camped up on a big rock isn't an appealing alternative."  
"Ah, c'mon!" Tomas said, grinning as he patted the larger man on the shoulder. "I go on these training trips all the time! It'll be fun!"  
"Uh-uh. No sausagefests for me, thanks," Hashiru said firmly, crossing his arms over his chest and turning away. He may not have been inherently contemptuous of other men like many "playboy" types, but he preferred instances of male bonding to be limited to a maximum time length of a standard baseball game plus allowance for overtime (no crying allowed). Any period longer than that without a female present tended to make him edgy.  
Ranma scratched his chin, wondering what he could say to change the brawler's mind. "Come on Hashiru, you need this more than anyone! After injuries like yours you'll need to work hard to get back to top shape!" Then he smirked cruelly. "'Sides, I can't always keep my little sister around to save your sorry butt. Don't you want to be able to occasionally defeat the people rampaging through your territory?" Yurumi chuckled nervously at that, rubbing the back of her head.  
"Nope. Not doing it," Hashiru said firmly, brushing off the jibe.  
Ranma frowned at his failure to provoke the gang boss. "Okay, fine. We'll drag Min along too."  
"I'm in," Hashiru said in an unusually serious tone, giving Ranma a thumbs-up.  
"Hey now, wait a minute," the aforementioned Kunoichi began, "I have two concerns with this. First off, are you saying you weren't going to invite me originally?"  
Ranma shrugged noncommitally. Unlike Hashiru, he was quite fond of extended male companionship, and due to his journey with his father, considered a training trip to be an occasion for just that.  
"And second of all," Min continued, looking far more annoyed now, "I'm not sure I WANT to come just so I can be the lecher's eye candy!" Actually, she didn't mind being ogled by Hashiru at all so long as he kept his hands to himself, but frankly she was a little upset about the way Ranma, her quasi-boyfriend, had offered her up to another man like that.  
"Oh, okay," Tomas said casually. "So what are you going to do all weekend by yourself? You know, since me and Ranma won't be around?"  
Min blinked, and then glared at her cousin. "What do you mean? I have other friends, you know!" For some reason, it irritated her to be considered as part of a group with Ranma, Tomas, and to a lesser extent, Hashiru, as if she was "one of the guys." Despite being an accomplished fighter she thought of herself as being very feminine otherwise, and it didn't sit well that she fit in so easily among boys.  
"Oh. Okay. So what are you going to do with them?" Tomas asked again.  
"..." Min's glare narrowed. 'Crap. I AM one of the guys.' Feminine or not, she found it much easier to relate to fellow high-level martial artists than other people... almost all of whom were male.  
"Alright, fine. But if the lecher's going, he'd better bring alcohol," Min grumbled.  
"Done and done!"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Setsuna Hanabo was not a happy camper.  
Well, in a literal sense, she was never happy, and she had been camping almost constantly since the end of elementary school, so really this was nothing new.  
But tonight she had a particular reason for stewing in silent bitterness, which actually WAS unique.  
The redhead was contemplating her encounter with a certain other redhead, and trying to figure out her next course of action.  
'It just doesn't make any sense,' she thought to herself. 'How on Earth does a girl so frail and helpless command her flames to such a degree? How much control does she really have?'  
Setsuna grit her teeth. 'I can't simply let her go. She's my only lead so far on the purple flames.'  
Of course, had she been asking around the area about it instead of hiding in parks and tending to her burns, she would have gotten many more leads on a whole family with purple flames. However, neither communication nor detective work were her strong points.  
'I can't approach her directly... I barely managed to move aside in time to avoid taking the full brunt of that blast. And it was pure luck that I was flung far enough from the impact point that I survived. If I can't predict or stop her attacks, then I can't question her.' Setsuna briefly considered finding the little girl and simply asking her, without shaking or threatening her, but discarded the idea. She had already proven herself hostile; there was no reason to believe she wouldn't be vaporized on sight the next time they met.  
Gripping her forehead irritably, Setsuna sighed and looked around at her surroundings. "I need time to meditate on this issue."

Scowling, the redhead curled up closer to the tree hidden in the thickets of the park, hugging a dirty old blanket around her as she had done countless nights before, for years on end.  
She didn't startle or even move right away when she heard the slight scrape of leaves against the grass; telltale signs of something relatively large - probably a human - approaching that knew how to move through brush without making a lot of noise. Still, it didn't escape her most passive senses, so if it was a person, they lacked extensive martial arts training.  
Setsuna laid still, not out of fear, but because she knew from experience that not all intruders skulking around at night would bother what appeared to be a hobo just trying to sleep. In the past she had encountered many such people, and none had been fighters of any respectable degree, so they weren't worth attacking unless they bothered her.  
Unfortunately for all parties involved, it seemed that this individual was intent on interrupting her rest.  
"Well, well, look what we got here. What's a young lady like you doing out here, all alone?" The intruder was a greasy-looking, skinny man with an unshaven chin and the distinct smell of alcohol clinging to him.  
She shifted slightly to make eye contact. "Go away," she said simply, before turning over again.  
Whether it was the alcohol, nerve, or sheer stupidity, the sleazy bum stalked closer, his hand reaching for the switchblade in his pocket. 'Hmmm... not exactly a hottie, especially with that hairdo - did most of her hair burn off or something? - but I'm not in any position to be choosy. Much better than the usual fare around here.'  
"C'mon, doll. You know, in a dark, isolated place like this, nobody could help if, God forbid, something HAPPENED to you." His lips curled into a shaky smile. "Lotta shady characters around, ya know. Why don't I stick around tonight and keep ya company?"  
"Go away," Setsuna deadpanned again, not even turning around this time.  
The man frowned slightly as he withdrew the knife and opened it. "Don't worry doll, I'll protect you! Gonna need a little sumthin' in return, though! Ha ha!" Grinning once again, he fell on her while grabbing her shoulder and bringing his knife up to her throat.  
He figured out something was wrong almost immediately. For one thing, he noted that it felt as if he'd just tried to tackle a statue. Despite putting all his weight into the arm on the redhead's shoulder in an attempt to pin her, it refused to budge one bit.  
As the drunken scoundrel grit his teeth and struggled to push the girl's back onto the ground so he could straddle her properly, it suddenly occurred to him that his chosen victim had offered absolutely no real reaction so far. No screams, no struggling, no cheap shots to the groin, not even so much as a gasp when he had pressed the flat side of his knife to her throat.  
As thoughts turned toward his knife, he couldn't help but reflect upon the sudden crushing pain he felt in his hand, not to mention the way that hand was being slowly but firmly moved away from the girl's throat and up toward his.  
"Wh-What? No! W-Wait! Stop! Please, don't!" He cried, panic gripping his mind as the reality of the situation suddenly became clear. "I'm sorry! D-Don't hurt me! I'll leave! J-Just-"  
"What a waste of flesh you are," Setsuna said in a tired, monotone voice that may as well have been discussing bad weather as criticizing the worth of an individual in the final moments of his life. "People who can only stand up for themselves before the weak don't deserve to live."  
"No, please! I'm sorry! I'lgghlk!"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ryoga gasped for breath as he collapsed at the large, iron gate, letting his backpack slip off of his shoulders and land heavily on the ground.  
"At last... I made it," he mumbled, pausing mid-sentence while panting.  
Sitting down, the eternally lost boy quickly caught his breath as he looked over the plaque that marked the school as Furinkan.  
True, the school was obviously closed for the evening, which was no surprise at all, but Ryoga had finally made it to a place where he knew Ranma would come upon sooner or later. Quite frankly, it was the best he could hope for, and he'd take what he could get. Spending the night on the sidewalk in front of a school with a near-guarantee of finding his target the next day was much better than dragging his already-exhausted body along even more unfamiliar paths with the one-in-a-million hope of finding Ranma himself. Hell, if he HAD found Ranma instead of his school, he was so tired that he would have lost a fight anyway, new techniques or no.  
"This is it, Yagami," Ryoga said to himself, his lips breaking into a vicious smirk. "At last, we'll see who's the better man! Just you wait! I'll break you like a-"  
"Hey! Who are you?"  
The fanged boy halted his vengeful monologue in annoyance, glancing over his shoulder through the gate. An old man was standing there with a rake over his shoulder, frowning at him.  
"Don't you know the school day's over?" The groundskeeper asked, shooing Ryoga away with his hand. "No loitering! Go home!"  
"Hmph. Sorry old man, but I'm not going anywhere," Ryoga said firmly. "I can't afford to leave this place, or I might never find it again."  
The groundskeeper raised an eyebrow. "Come again? Why not?"  
"It's a long story. I'd rather not get into it," the wanderer grumbled. Then he took a longer look at the groundskeeper and Furinkan's main courtyard. "So you do the gardening around here, huh? You must work fast. This place looks completely different from the last time I was in Nerima."  
The old man blinked. "Nerima? Where's Nerima?"  
"Huh? Oh, it's just some place next to Tokyo... or maybe in Tokyo? I don't remember," Ryoga mumbled. He was mildly disturbed that he was completely off on the location of Furinkan High School, but he wasn't about to challenge anybody else's ability to figure out exactly where they were on a day-to-day basis.  
"Kid, you're in Osaka," the groundskeeper deadpanned. "Tokyo's nowhere near here."  
Ryoga blinked. "What? But... But I'm POSITIVE Ranma lives around Tokyo! And his school is Furinkan High! How would he get here in the morning if it's not close by?"  
The elderly man stared at him for a few moments, trying to figure out if the young man was being serious. "Well... maybe it's a different Furinkan High School?"  
The idea hit Ryoga like a meteorite. "THERE'S TWO FURINKAN HIGH SCHOOLS IN JAPAN?!?!"  
"Ah... it's quite likely. Probably more than two. Japan is a big place," the groundskeeper said uneasily, wondering if any of the psychiatric hospitals nearby suffered a recent escape.  
"That's insane! How the hell do they expect people to know which one is which?" the lost boy howled, clutching his head as tears started streaming down his cheeks.  
"Hmm... well, I'd have to guess that they could make do so long as they know which major city they're in," the old man deadpanned.  
"Ranma, you bastard!" Ryoga cursed, jumping to his feet. "You think you can hide from me by living in the wrong city?! Just wait! I'll find you, and hand you your head on a platter!"  
"Huh... you know what? Wait here kid," the groundskeeper said as he fished a cellular phone out of his pocket. "I think I might know some people who can help you get to where you need to be."  
'Oh, HELL no. I know where I've heard that line before,' Ryoga thought before he picked up his backpack and bolted. He had a lot of stress built up right now and would have liked to have a proper outlet, but he still didn't want to mess with the men in white coats carrying tasers and pepper spray again. They always tried to trick him into letting his guard down, saying that they would help him take care of this "Ranma" that was the source of all his problems, but all they ever did was stab him with tranquilizers and lock him in woefully under-reinforced cells.  
He didn't need that now, especially when he was finally on the verge of overcoming his hated foe once and for all. "Ranma! Just you wait! Nothing will keep me from destroying you once and for all! NOTHING!!"

End Chapter 16


	17. Heating Up

_Da da da da da daaa!_  
Ryoga tossed off his pack as the music began, flexing his muscles before letting out a primal scream and charging a pile of rocks.  
_The hour's approaching, just give it your best!_  
_You've got to reach your prime!_  
Ryoga bounced from tree to tree, tossing bandannas as fast as he could at several prepared targets.  
_That's when you need to put yourself to the test!_  
_And show us a passage of time!_  
Ryoga panted heavily as the sun set, cooking his noodles over a campfire.  
_We're gonna need a montage – MONTAGE!_  
_Oh, it takes a montage – MONTAGE!_

Ryoga dashed across the surface of a river, managing to run across the surface tension about half-way before crashing into the water.  
_Show a lot of things happening at once!_  
_Remind everyone what's going on – WHAT'S GOING ON?_  
Ranma flushed as Min gave him a peck on the cheek and winked at him, and then he quickly shuffled off to class.  
_And with every shot you show a little improvement!_  
_To show it all would take too long!_  
Ryoga shouted in triumph as he ran across the entire river, landing safely and dryly on the opposite bank.  
_That's called a montage – MONTAGE!_  
_Oh, we want a montage – MONTAGE!_

Ryoga swept his arms together, and a vacuum blade sliced a tree clean through.  
_And anything that we want to go,_  
_From just a beginner to a pro!_  
Charging his ki, Ryoga released a titanic vacuum blade, knocking trees down by the dozen as they were knocked over.  
_You need a montage – MONTAGE!_  
_Even Rocky had a montage – MONTAGE!_

Ryoga dashed through the trees once more, throwing bandannas and vacuum blades in sequence, and annihilating a line of targets.  
_And anything that we want to go,_  
_From just a beginner to a pro!_  
Howling in triumph, Ryoga dashed upstream across the surface of the water, bouncing off of the rocks poking up above the surface every time he felt his momentum waning.  
_You need a montage – MONTAGE!_  
_Oh, it takes a montage – MONTAGE!_

Wiping sweat from his forehead, Ryoga walked down the road as night fell, failing to notice the sign in the road that clearly indicated that Tokyo was in the opposite direction.  
_Always fade out in a montage..._  
_If you fade it seems like more time has passed in a montage..._  
_Montage..._

Yagami 1/2  
A Ranma 0.5/King of Fighters Crossover  
by Black Dragon

Disclaimer: Who else loves cake?!

Notes: _Sounds_, **Emphasis or techniques**+Written words+, 'Thoughts', "Dialogue"

Chapter 17  
Heating Up

"All I'm saying is that you could take your training a little more seriously," Ranma said as he strolled down the park walk, hands in his pockets. "It's not like you have maniacs comin' out of nowhere tryin' to take your head off, but if you're not careful, you're going to end up in a fight with no way out."  
Min rolled her eyes as she walked next to Ranma, taking the occasional bite out of an ice cream cone. "Hey, watch it. I used to be one of those maniacs, you know." She smirked and poked him in the side.  
"I'm still not completely convinced you've given that up, actually," Ranma murmured.  
Min poked him harder and stuck out her tongue at him.  
"How often do you train, anyway?"  
Min sighed, getting annoyed with the topic at hand. "Whenever I feel like it. But I make sure to get in some serious practice at least twice a week."  
"You don't do regular sparring?" Ranma asked, obviously disappointed.  
"Hey, I'll be the first to admit that I don't play the 'Ninja' thing all the way to the hilt," the buxom girl began, "but I have a life outside of being a martial artist. Unlike YOU."  
"You say that like it's a bad thing," the pigtailed boy deadpanned.  
Min took another bite of ice cream, then sidled closer to her date, hooking her arm through his. "Maybe... but there are things more fun than fighting, you know..."  
"Eh." He looked extremely unenthusiastic even as Min brushed her breasts up against his arm. "I just think that if you're gonna practice at all, you should put your all into it. Twice a week isn't going to put you up at Tomas' level, much less Hashiru's."  
The Ninja girl groaned. "Look, can we talk about something ELSE? You're going to have all weekend to nag me about training. This is supposed to be a **romantic** outing."  
Now it was Ranma's turn to groan. "Meh. Like what?"  
Min grinned broadly and brushed up even closer to him as they walked. "Well... how about coming up with sleeping arrangements for the trip?"  
The pigtailed boy blinked. "Whoa... did you just feel that?"  
Min blinked as well. "You mean the sudden flare-up of ki about five meters behind us?"  
"Yeah, that, plus I just felt like a hundred daggers just stuck me in the back," Ranma shrunk back uncomfortably.  
Min's eye twitched as she turned around, immediately eyeing a single tall man in an unseasonably long coat wearing a large hat and holding up a newspaper as he stood nearby.  
As if that wasn't suspicious enough, there was also a visible aura of energy wafting all about him. The Ninja's eyes narrowed.  
"Wait here, okay hun?" Min asked pleasantly.  
"Please don't call me that," Ranma mumbled, freezing absolutely still while waiting for the expected attack.

"Daddy, please put down the newspaper," Min demanded, walking up to the man with her hands planted on her hips.  
The figure was silent for a moment, and then shifted slightly so that the crease in the paper was facing Min.  
"Oh, I'm sorry, you were talking to me?" Said a gruff, overly-masculine voice. "I didn't know, because you called me 'Daddy' for some reason."  
_Shnk!_ Min slipped out one of her combat fans. "Daddy, knock it off. Who else would be tailing me through the park in the afternoon wearing a heavy coat this time of year, and then start putting out battle aura when Ranma almost gets to second base?"  
The figure was silent again, though his battle aura shrank noticeably. "... How do you know I'm not some random boy taken with jealousy?"  
"Hmmm..." she pretended to think about it. "That's a good point. Do you know what I DO to those types?" She growled suddenly, holding up the bladed fan.  
"All right! All right!" Andy threw up the newspaper, holding his hands in the air. "Calm down, already! It's me!"  
"Calm down? You were spying on me!" She shouted angrily. "Why should I calm down?"  
Andy winced. "Because I'm doing it out of love?"  
Min glared at him.  
"Hm. Because I'm your father and I know best?"  
Min glared harder.  
Andy started sweating. "Uhm... because I'm sorry and I really do trust you, but I still worry about you all the time?"  
Min flinched, and her glare cracked. 'Damn. He's way too good at this.' "Dad, I'm going to make this REAL simple. You can set curfews. You can make rules. You can call and check up on me a dozen times in an hour. But do NOT follow me around when I'm on a date."  
The blond man looked reluctant. "But I-"  
"NO. No buts," Min snapped. "I do NOT know what problem you have with Ranma, but this has to stop. Ranma is nice, he is respectful, and IF AND WHEN something intimate happens between us, it will be the result of mutual and consensual feelings. Now. Do you have a PROBLEM with any of that?"  
Andy spent a moment gaping, and then grit his teeth. "... Yes, actually. When were you going to tell me about this little trip you two are taking?"  
Min frowned at him. "I did tell you about it. And it's not us two; there'll be four of us."  
"You said you were taking a training trip with a bunch of friends!"  
"I AM. You never asked whether the friends were girls or boys," the Ninja girl said sharply. "Besides, Tomas will be with us the whole time, so you can even declare him chaperone and whatnot."  
Andy's gaze remained hard. "I heard you discuss 'sleeping arrangements'."  
"Oh, for the love of-" Min rubbed her forehead in agitation. "Dad, LOOK. Ranma is no playboy; in fact, he's actually really shy when it comes to intimacy. So I like to tease him with stuff like that, all right? It's not serious. He's really not ready for that sort of thing."  
Andy jumped right into THAT sentence. "Oh? But you are?"  
Min raised an eyebrow, and was silent for a long moment. "Daddy... are you worried that he's going to come on to me, or that I'm going to come on to HIM?"  
The blond man winced badly, and chewed his lip as he stalled for time. "Welllll... seeing how Ranma's already escaped, I think I'll follow his example."  
Min blinked. "What?" Then she turned around, and gaped when she realized her date was long-gone. "Hey! Dad, now look what-" She trailed off as she turned around again, only to see a quickly dispersing cloud of dust where her father used to be. "But... it... wait..."  
Hanging her head, she glanced at her ice cream cone, which had melted during her argument with Andy. "Why do I have so much trouble with men? Ugh." Grinding her teeth for a moment, she accelerated rapidly in a straight line toward her home, jumping up into the trees to jump across the branches.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ranma sighed as he realized that no one was pursuing him, and idly wiped his forehead.  
While the idea of fighting Andy for real was not entirely unpleasant, he had no desire to have that fight because the man thought he was taking advantage of Min. Beating him under such conditions just seemed... wrong. Like he was actually doing something immoral, and had to beat up Min's guardian to get away with it.  
He was also generally opposed to having to fight to date the Ninja girl, as she was the one who had drawn him into their relationship in the first place; it was sort of like winning a car, and then being handed the bill for it. Bad enough he had to pay for everything and waste time on this "dating" rubbish that every other guy swore was so great, but why should he have to fight off world-class martial artists too?  
Worse, this sort of thing was becoming more common. He already had to fight Mousse for Shampoo; in fact, he still wasn't completely sure what that had been all about. Certainly Mousse hated him and would have taken any opportunity to crush him, but Mousse had involved Shampoo for some reason, and Ranma still wasn't entirely sure why. Was it just because he and Shampoo were friends? Was it because she and Mousse were from the same tribe? Ranma didn't know, and Shampoo didn't say before she disappeared.

The young Yagami fighter was not so lost in thought that his senses weren't alert; after fleeing from an enraged martial artist, he wouldn't drop his guard so quickly. So it was that after he heard a distant splashing noise, he frowned.  
"Hm. Speak of the devil..." He slipped his hands into his pockets, and stared up at the branches as the sounds of scraping branches and heavy footsteps reached his ears.  
"Gotta give him credit for tryin'. Well, not really." Ranma stretched his shoulder for a moment as he stood still, and then smiled and waved to a group of children who were passing by on the other side of the main path through the park. "Five... four... three... two..."  
_CRASH! Shwish!_ Claws like steel scythes slashed underneath Ranma as the pigtailed boy jumped into the air, barely avoiding the tree that narrowly missed hitting him as it was knocked over.  
Ranma grabbed hold of a branch of a different tree and swung himself up, flipping to his feet and landing in a crouch. "Well, well, well. If it isn't tall, dark, and hairy come to claim his fair Shampoo, defeat the one responsible for his exile, etcetera etcetera. Or have you come up with some new material?"  
Mousse twitched, and acrid smoke blew out of his nostrils as he snorted in irritation. Across the park, people stared wide-eyed at the creature that had just emerged from the trees, and quickly began to flee in a panic.  
"COCKY AS EVER, SCUM. TELL ME WHERE SHAMPOO IS. NOW." The behemoth flexed its talons menacingly as it glared up at Ranma.  
"Hmmmm..." Ranma stood up straight and scratched his chin, as if considering it. "Welllllll... nah."  
_FWOOOOSH!_ Ranma jumped away again as a jet of fire blasted over the tree he was standing in, blasting it to charcoal in short order.  
"Whoa, hey! Watch what you're doing, jerk!" the pigtailed boy shouted. "You're going to start a serious fire if you're not careful!"  
"PAH. IF YOU DON'T WANT YOUR FILTHY LITTLE CITY BURNT TO ASHES, THEN COOPERATE AND TELL ME WHERE SHAMPOO IS!" The behemoth took up a fighting position, squaring its shoulders and letting its arms hang down, creating a veritable wall of thick fur and rock-hard muscle.  
"Oh, shut up you brat," Ranma sighed. "I know how this goes. You appear and start threatening me, and then I get ahold of some hot water and splash you. As soon as you're small and squishy, I crush you like a beetle, leave you bleeding in a heap somewhere until you wake up, wash, rinse, repeat." He scratched the back of his head, frowning at the demonic being. "Why don't you just save me a lot of trouble, the city a lot of repair work, and yourself a lot of pain and just buzz off? I'm not gonna tell you where Shampoo is even if you beat me, so you might as well go look on your own."  
Mousse seemed unusually calm through the lecture, not interrupting the flame-user and not reacting to his jibes. It had very well occurred to him that Ranma would probably win another engagement so soon, as his behemoth form had a very obvious weakness, and the gap between his human form's power and Ranma's was too vast. He had come up with a countermeasure for being splashed with water, but... well, he didn't really want to fight Ranma again with only one new trick up his sleeve. The Yagami fighter was annoyingly clever when things became desperate, and Ranma's resilience was nothing short of unnerving, even to someone who turned into a nearly indestructible monster with supernatural regeneration.  
"YOU THINK I'M ASKING YOU BECAUSE IT'S CONVENIENT? I'VE BEEN SEARCHING FOR HER RELENTLESSLY WITH NO SUCCESS. SHE ISN'T AROUND YOU ANYMORE. AT LEAST, NOT OUT IN THE OPEN. WHAT'S HAPPENED TO HER? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?"  
"I 'aint done nothing," Ranma mumbled. "If you want to know why Shampoo isn't parading around out in the open, maybe I could go find you a hand mirror."  
Mousse sighed, and a thin aura of red started to appear around him. "YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE THIS DIFFICULT, AREN'T YOU?"  
Ranma just smirked. "Of course not. I'm gonna make this EASY."  
_Fwsh!_ Ranma dashed back away from claws that could rip through steel with ease, and then backflipped away.  
"I've been doin' a lot of thinking since our last fight, freak! I have some new tricks I want to try out!"  
Mousse snarled as he approached slowly, quite wary of his opponent's claim; Ranma wasn't the sort of fighter who would allow an enemy to hold such a clear advantage over him. Still, as long as he could avoid hot water...  
"**Yami barai**!" Ranma slammed a fist into the ground, and a purple fireball sizzled across the dirt, streaking toward Mousse. Almost immediately, Ranma's form flickered as he vanished from sight.  
Mousse stepped back, frowning as he tried to cover his back from any attacks. 'The fireball was just a distraction. He has to know by now that fire can't hurt-' _Thwud!_  
A short yelp was all that Mousse managed as Ranma came down right onto his head, driving his face down right into the firebolt.  
_Bwoom!_ Ranma smirked as the fireball detonated, and then winced at the searing pain that assaulted his body just from touching the behemoth. He quickly leapt off, bouncing off his hands back into a standing position. 'Huh. That was weird. That aura he's got isn't just for show. He's almost too hot to touch!'  
Mousse got back to his feet, his eyes clenched shut and loud, rumbling curses spilling from his mouth; the explosion had blasted an awful lot of dirt and shrapnel right into his eyes, and he couldn't possibly use the gigantic talons that were his hands to try and wipe them clean. In the meantime, his regeneration was useless in the face of severe irritation instead of actual damage; exactly as Ranma had planned.  
"Man, I hope you're embarrassed," Ranma said as he took out a metal canister of water and quickly heated it up with his flames. "You didn't even get a hit in this time."  
As the creature snarled, Ranma thrust the canister at it, smirking.  
His smirk died painfully when the water fizzled into vapor almost immediately before touching the cursed demon, its aura literally boiling the liquid away into steam before enough of it touched him to take effect.  
"Ah. I see... well-played," the pigtailed boy mumbled as he dodged backwards against Mousse's blind lunge.  
The behemoth stopped swiping around at random, and then blinked his eyes repeatedly, growling when it failed to stop the stinging pain from the bits of rock stuck in his eyelids. "I'LL GRIND YOU TO DUST!"  
"Right. You can't hit me even when you can see me, how do ya expect to fight me like that?" The Yagami fighter taunted, crossing his arms over his chest haughtily.  
Mousse let out another growl, and then sucked in a great breath of air, his chest expanding substantially as his cheeks puffed up.  
"... Oh, crud."  
_FWOOOOM!_ A massive jet of flames poured from the behemoth's jaw, and Ranma nervously leapt out of the way as he watched the stream blast a flaming ditch across more than ten meters of ground, reaching all the way to the main path through the park and crossing it.  
"You jerk! If you wanna fight me, fine! But stop burning up the whole damn area while you do it!" Ranma yelled.  
Mousse homed in on the noise and stomped forward, his taloned arms sweeping about before him wildly, seeking his target.  
Ranma obviously wasn't about to make it that easy, and danced backward out of his reach. "No way you can keep that aura up for long! All I have to do is outlast you!"  
Focusing on the sound of Ranma's voice, Mousse thundered toward him, his heavy footfalls shaking the ground below. "HA! YOU, OUTLAST ME? RESILIENCE IS ONE THING THIS BODY POSSESSES IN SPADES, YAGAMI!"  
"Well, sure, but I'm sure someone dumb as you can push even that to its limit. Whoa!" He shouted out as he leapt back, landing heavily out of reach.  
The behemoth turned toward the sound, snarling. 'That's right, you moron. Just keep talking...' he could feel the stinging sensation in his eyes fading as his eyes watered, slowly cleaning his vision of irritants. "DIE!!"  
Ranma grinned and flipped backward. "Make me, loser."  
"THAT'S THE IDEA, SCUM!" Mousse snarled, homing in on him once more. He tried blinking his eyes again, and hissed as he clenched them shut again. 'Just a little more...'  
"A lotta talk and not much else. Hell, without Shampoo around to save, I don't even have to fight you. I could just run away. It's not like you could do much about it when you can't even see."  
The transformed Amazon suddenly grinned. "HOW UNFORTUNATE FOR YOU, THEN, THAT YOU WERE STUPID ENOUGH TO HOP AROUND AND TAUNT ME INSTEAD OF RUNNING." Mousse opened his eyes, wincing only slightly at the pain as his vision crystallized...  
Then Mousse stared out the park's artificial lake, confused. Where was he? And more importantly, where was Ranma?  
"How unfortunate for you that you were stupid enough to follow me," Ranma said from behind him.  
_THWUMP!_ With the force of a battering ram, Ranma slammed into Mousse's back, gritting his teeth against the pain as the behemoth's fire aura seared his skin like a hot stovetop.  
It was enough though, and Mousse's eyes widened as he staggered forward into the lake, the water hissing and steaming the moment he broke the surface. _Sploosh!_  
Ranma quickly rushed forward and plunged his hand in after the rapidly shrinking form, grabbing Mousse's leg and yanking the Chinese boy back out of the lake before the heat could disperse across the lake and leave the water cool enough to change him back.  
Tossing Mousse almost haphazardly onto the grass, Ranma momentarily shook his hands dry before boiling away the last droplets of moisture with a burst of flames.  
Then he turned around, ready to taunt his opponent with the ease of his victory.  
"... Hey. You awake?" Ranma stared down at Mousse, who lay on the ground, unmoving.  
He walked up cautiously, and then poked the Chinese boy with his foot. "... Huh. Out cold. The moron must have been using so much energy that as soon as he changed back to normal, he passed out from the strain." Ranma shook his head. Mousse's new technique was painfully crude in its application, and quite obviously flawed.  
Although simply throwing as much energy as possible against a problem rather suited the behemoth form, such clumsy tactics were easily exploited, and Mousse's foresight was almost as bad as his normal sight.  
"This idiot couldn't beat me if I was already bleeding to death and blindfolded," the pigtailed boy grumbled, scratching his head wearily. "Still, he's damn dangerous 'cause of that curse. What should I do with him?"  
Scratching his head, Ranma eventually shrugged and picked the Chinese boy up before slinging him over his shoulder and walking off, whistling the whole time.

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Setsuna sighed as she unwrapped the plastic around the nearly inedible-looking egg sandwich.  
Such fare was not ideal, but it worked. She needed protein above all other nutrients, and it was cheap.  
Setsuna was not a traveler that enjoyed much in the way of amenities. She lived like a hobo, sleeping under trees and bridges with nothing but a dirty blanket. She bathed in public ponds and rivers, and wore the same clothes until the holes got so big that the articles exposed more than they covered.  
While she had easily dominated the underground fighting tournaments that were sometimes held in the darker corners of the city, she stumbled across such gatherings by chance and never stood around long enough to make any serious money off of it. Those small cash windfalls tended to disappear incredibly quick, as she had a habit of splurging on meat whenever she could afford it... and occasionally when she could not.  
Setsuna stepped out of convenience store, ignoring the irritated complaint of a teenage boy as she shouldered past him and wolfed down the sandwich as fast as possible (the better to avoid actually tasting the wretched thing).  
"Hey! Did you hear me?" The teenager, who was annoyed that the girl practically walked right through him without so much as a glance, strode up behind Setsuna and made to grab her shoulder.  
A single glare over the redhead's shoulder caused him to freeze in place just a bare few millimeters from touching her, as if his body itself had just suddenly shut down.  
Very slowly, the suddenly pale boy drew back and turned around, feeling as if he had just come very close to brushing against Death itself.

Setsuna continued down the sidewalk, stuffing the crust of the sandwich into her mouth and chewing fervently. Her throat ached for something to wash it down with, and she promptly began scanning for some place with a public restroom where she could drink from the tap there.  
Spotting a small cafe, the redhead stepped over to a garbage dumpster in an alley, slapping the lid up sharply before tossing the plastic wrapping in.  
_Thwump!_ "Ow!"  
Setsuna blinked as she heard someone shout out after the lid fell closed again, and turned back toward the dumpster.  
"..." Cautiously, she stepped up to it and raised the lid again, peering down into the trash container.  
"Ugh... wh-who?" Mousse slowly looked up at the face peering down at him, squinting uselessly.  
Setsuna stared down, unsure of what to do. It really didn't occur to her to help him right away, because benevolent acts for the sake of benevolence itself just weren't in her nature, but it was the sort of situation where it just didn't feel right to simply walk away.  
After a good twenty seconds of deliberation, she decided that the man's groaning was getting on her nerves, so she wouldn't dirty her hands to pull him out. But feeling that she had to do SOMETHING just for having found him there, she helpfully pushed the lid up so that it was propped up against the wall of the alley, and not trapping him inside.

She started walking away again, heedless of the sound of the man climbing out of the dumpster.  
_Clang!_ Once again, she stopped short as her ears picked up the sound of something metal falling against concrete, and she turned around.  
Setsuna watched with rapidly growing interest as the Chinese-looking boy bent over to collect the large scimitar that had fallen out of his sleeve, mumbling irritably the whole time in his native language.  
She debated the worth of approaching him again in her mind. He couldn't be THAT great a fighter, as she had found him in a dumpster, and judging by how fast he crawled out, he hadn't been in there by choice. But he still had a weapon on him... and had just slipped that weapon back into his sleeve in such a way that should have been impossible given the dimensions of the weapon.  
Conclusion?  
'Hm. Sure, I'll give him a shot.'  
"That's an interesting trick you just pulled," the redhead said stonily, walking up behind Mousse with her arms at her sides. "I'd like to see it again."  
Mousse blinked and turned around. "Bwuh? Who're you?"  
"Don't ask stupid questions," Setsuna said. "Show me that weapon that you just dropped. Or I'll beat you until it falls back out of your robe."  
The Chinese boy stared blankly, and then snapped his wrist forward sharply.  
To Setsuna's disappointment, it was not a weapon he withdrew, but rather a pair of coke-bottle glasses that he promptly put on before staring at her intently.  
Mousse clicked his tongue upon realizing that the person in front of him wasn't Ranma's girl form. He suspected as much after hearing her voice; Ranma's manner of speaking in either form was either very casual, or burning with rage, like a volcano on the verge of eruption. This girl's voice was like cold, hard steel, and while it set him on edge, it didn't generate any desire to fight.  
"Hmmm... are you the one that opened the lid of that dumpster for me?" Mousse asked, not deigning to answer the obvious challenge he was being offered.  
"I did," Setsuna answered. Then she frowned. "Of course, if you were too weak to even get out of there by yourself, there's little point in fighting you."  
The Amazon bristled. "You... You're right. There's little point in us fighting," he agreed grudgingly, though for completely different reasons.  
Mousse didn't fight others for fun, for improvement, to test his strength, or even for the sake of his pride or status. For him martial arts were simply a means to an end: ideally, the unconsciousness, if not death, of the person he was fighting. To use the full range of those skills on a random person on the street who had nothing to offer him was a complete waste of time.  
The Chinese boy turned away, already planning in his head his next recon sweep of the Saotome residence to try and find Shampoo.  
_Thwump!_ "Gah!" Mousse staggered forward, little knives bouncing down out of his robe as he was struck in the back. "Hey! What the hell was that for?"  
Setsuna clicked her tongue. "You've got more than just a sword up your sleeves... I want to fight you."  
"Yeah, well I don't want to fight you!" Mousse complained, quickly picking up his knives. "I was just beaten and dumped in a damn garbage can! I'm tired and filthy and I don't even know who you are! Find someone else to attack out of nowhere!"  
"Ah, but you're already here... and I have a feeling there's more to you than a four-eyed imbecile with some blades up his sleeves." Setsuna's face was perfectly cold as she lifted a fist toward him. "I'm going to beat you to a pulp. Feel free to defend yourself."  
"What the hell are yo-" was as far as Mousse got before the first punch connected with his stomach.  
Caught totally unprepared, he doubled over just in time for the girl's knee to impact his jaw, shattering the bones therein with an ease that would have left him stunned were it not for the agonizing pain.  
_Thwump!_ "Agh! Ugh..." Mousse slid across the ground, rolling for a ways as his vision swam.  
Setsuna snorted. "Ridiculous. You must be capable of more than this. At least use one of your weapons."  
"... Ahl sho yuh shum a' mah wheposh..." Mousse mumbled, crawling forward, and sliding a short sword out of his sleeve.  
"Hm?" Setsuna raised an eyebrow as she watched the boy crawl further away. Did he think range was going to make much of a difference at this point? He couldn't possibly throw accurately after taking such a blow.  
And now the fool was hauling himself up on a fire hydrant. _Shing!_ Okay, so he was actually slicing open a fire hydrant.  
Setsuna blinked as water gushed out onto the streets, parting before the gigantic, hairy beast that had grown from the scrawny, broken Chinese boy. "Huh. Unusual."  
Mousse whirled around, and his eyes narrowed at the redhead as his jaw knitted rapidly. "MAYBE THIS WILL TEACH YOU NOT TO RUN AROUND PICKING FIGHTS WITH EVERYONE ON THE STREETS!" The irony of him making such a statement when he had been hurt doing the same thing recently was, naturally, lost on him.  
Setsuna cocked her head to the side, then nodded sharply and slid backward slightly, her hands balling into fists. "All right, then. Attack."  
Mousse blinked. This girl still wanted to fight him? Was she crazy? "YOU LITTLE RAT..." his mouth glowed yellow as he sucked in some air. "I'LL GROUND YOU INTO PASTE..." _FWOOOOM!_  
Setsuna clicked her tongue and leapt up over the jet of fire, summoning power into her hand.  
_THWAM!! CRACK!_ Mousse yelped as something smashed into his head like a train... a falling train. Pulling his muzzle out of the sundered concrete, he shook his head and turned around, swiping viciously with his claws.  
_Thap!_ He was most nonplussed when the girl BLOCKED his claw against her arm, and then batted the limb away like a common punch.  
Setsuna dove in fast, and brought her energy into her fist once more, slamming it full-on into Mousse's torso.  
_BWOOM!_ The breath left the behemoth's impressive lungs as Mousse felt his ribcage strain against the force pounding into it, and he decided that it was time to stop acting cocky and start acting desperate. _Chomp!_  
Setsuna growled as the demon actually lowered his head and BIT her, his dagger-like teeth sinking a full inch into her shoulder before she grabbed a hold of his jaws and start to force them open.  
Mousse was momentarily stunned as the redhead slowly started overcoming his strength, and felt his jaw muscles burn to try and close his teeth. 'This is unbelievable! Who the hell is this girl? How can anybody be this strong?'  
Setsuna's position did, however, leave her quite open, and Mousse grabbed the redhead between his claws, pulling his head away before throwing her through the air, and then through the wall of a nearby storefront.  
'I can't believe it... she's actually going to try and beat me by just hammering me until I'm knocked out? Is she crazy, or just stupid?' Honestly, Mousse was getting a bit scared of how close the girl was coming. Even if his regeneration was rapidly repairing all the wounds taken so far, the amount of damage she caused with punches and kicks was beyond belief, though he doubted that her blows represented her natural strength. There was definitely something besides muscle behind those punches.  
"Huh. You're tougher than I thought," Setsuna mumbled as she stepped out of the hole in the store, ignoring the patrons and owner huddling behind the counter inside.  
"THE FEELING'S MUTUAL," Mousse snarled, crouching forward. "THERE'S NO REASON FOR US TO FIGHT. JUST TURN-"  
"Stop your yammering," Setsuna commanded suddenly, straightening. "This fight isn't finished until one of us is laid bleeding on the ground."  
An aura of power started swirling around her, and Mousse backed away cautiously as waves of heat washed up over her body.  
"Hm... get ready. Now I'm serious." _THWOOSH!_

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Ranma was dead silent as he sat calmly at the dinner table, his hands a blur as he cleared his plate and then scooped more food onto his plate with absolute minimal wasted movement, returning his motions to the repetitive, yet precise motions of eating smoothly.  
One would be hard-pressed to call it graceful, but really, there wasn't a much better way to describe it. Ranma had perfected this manner of eating long ago, although it was anybody's guess why; it wasn't as if anybody ever tried to steal his food or anything.  
For Ranma, eating food like he performed a kata was simply relaxing. It let him empty his mind and rest his overburdened senses.  
It also let him ignore people who were all but beating him over the head to get his attention.  
"Ran-MAAAA!! Stop eating and listen to me!" Yurumi whined, shaking her arms about.  
Ranma continued eating, not paying any attention to his little sister. Across the table, Nodoka and Iori ate in silence, as usual not willing to intervene in any of the affairs of their children.  
"Come ON! Take me with you on your trip! I wanna go too!" Yurumi said, pouting as she started tugging on his sleeve.  
That didn't stop Ranma's arms one bit, and she was nearly lifted off the floor as Ranma continued eating at the same speed.  
"Stop ignoring me! Ranma!"  
Ranma continued to do so, and Yurumi continued pouting.  
Huffing angrily, the redhead got up off the floor and stalked off to the kitchen, leaving her brother locked in his endless circuit of consumption at the table.  
Until she came back with a glass of cold water. _Splash!_  
Ranma twitched as she finally came out of her "kata," the chopsticks in her hand, snapping within her grip as her concentration broke. "What'd you do that for?" She deadpanned.  
"You weren't listening to me!" Yurumi huffed.  
Ranma's eye twitched. "Fine. You want me to come out and say it? NO. You're not coming with us."  
"But why NOOOOOOOT?" Yurumi whined, bunching her fists up under her chin and looking up at Ranma with wet, dewy eyes.  
The pigtailed girl felt something in her stomach lurch as she barely resisted the puppy-dog eyes, at a heavy price to her conscience. "BECAUSE. You're not a fighter. You're a little girl who doesn't know martial arts and can get hurt. We're going there for combat training, not vacation. That means lots of breaking rocks, smashing logs, and wild energy blasts. It's not safe."  
"But I'll be careful!"  
"I'm sure you would. But you're not trained, so being careful probably won't be enough," Ranma said simply.  
"But... but..." Yurumi started to get angry as she realized that her cute bit wasn't working. "But Min gets to go!"  
Ranma raised an eyebrow. "Yes. And Min has ten years of harsh Ninjitsu under her belt. She can project flames better than you can, and without any special powers. Even if she doesn't know much about camping, she can survive any training accidents without a problem, or defend herself if we get lost or something. You're not gettin' away with comparing yourself to her just 'cause you're both girls."  
Yurumi pouted, having intended to do just that. "But I don't want to spend the weekend here by myself!"  
Ranma felt another pang of conscience as her sister tried to guilt her further, and looked toward her parents to see if they'd bother to remind Yurumi that they'd be there with her if she were to stay.  
"The local baseball team lost again," Iori said, still buried in his newspaper.  
"Mmm. I've heard they've had a terrible season," Nodoka said simply before sipping more tea.  
'Our parents really suck,' Ranma thought irritably. "The answer is still no. Find something to do here."  
"But I'll miss you," Yurumi whined. "You were gone for so long... I feel like I don't even know my own brother sometimes..."  
The pigtailed girl flinched badly as her resolve started to crumble. 'No! Sensible... position... must... hold!'  
Yurumi sniffled.  
'God damn it.' Ranma let out a brief, painful-sounding gurgling noise before the last of her will broke, and she wearily opened her mouth to surrender.  
"Yurumi," Nodoka said suddenly, "why don't we go shopping this weekend?"  
"Huh?" The younger redhead did not look enthusiastic at the prospect. "But I wanna go with Ranma..."  
Nodoka smiled and shifted over slightly to pat Yurumi on the head. "I know, dear. But there are places that a young man's little sister simply shouldn't follow."  
"... Uh... What?" Ranma felt a slight chill in her back as her mother said that, getting the feeling that once again Nodoka was going to take the situation in a completely unexplored and unintended direction. "This has nothing to do with 'young men,' this is about martial artists who can smash boulders apart and need lots of space where they can let loose without hurting anyone."  
Nodoka nodded solemnly. "Of course. And it has nothing to do with you and your girlfriend getting 'lots of space' where you can 'let loose'." She winked as Ranma's face darkened.  
Yurumi blinked, and then her face flushed. "Oh... uh... is THAT what... you were going to be doing?"  
Ranma's eye twitched. "No. It's not. We're going to be fighting."  
"I'm sure you'll be getting into all sorts of strenuous activities," the Yagami matriarch said pleasantly. "Yurumi, you have to realize that while your brother loves you very much, he needs some occasional time on his own to love other girls. In a very different way."  
_Wham! Wham! Wham!_ Ranma started slamming her head on the table. Hopefully, her mother would get the point that something was wrong and actually stop to listen to her detailed and accurate correction as to what would be going on during the training trip... and if not, she would probably knock herself out and at least save herself from having to listen to the bizarre fantasy world Nodoka had erected around her.  
Without even taking her eyes off of her younger daughter, Nodoka reached for a pillow and stuck it under Ranma's head, foiling her utterly. "So you'll have to let Min have Ranma for the weekend, I'm afraid. Boys his age have... needs that must be tended to."  
Yurumi nodded rapidly, her face still flushed. She still felt sad that she wouldn't be able to go, but at least she understood now why Ranma wouldn't want her around.  
"Why are you doing this?" Ranma mumbled into the pillow.  
"Hm? I thought you didn't want to take Yurumi," Nodoka explained in a voice that sounded perfectly innocent.  
"Mom..." Ranma took a deep, calming breath. "... I'm not going on this trip to be with Min. Honestly, I'd rather she didn't come with us because it makes things a little awkward. This is a TRAINING mission. Just like the ones I've taken with Pop, but without as much travel. It's not a romantic getaway, and it's not some kind of party. Okay?"  
"You should take your father's old tent, I think. It's big enough for two. Oh, and make sure to set it up opposite your friends' tent around the fire, and close to some bushes. They absorb sound fairly well, so you won't keep the others awake late at night."  
Ranma was silent for several moments. "You're doing this on purpose. I KNOW you are. Cut it out."  
Nodoka turned toward her husband, her expression wistful. "Remember the camping trips we used to take when we were young? Though we rarely bothered with more than a blanket. Body warmth is an excellent substitute for a sleeping bag." She tittered as she held a hand up to her mouth, and Iori nodded mutely, still reading the paper.  
Ranma scooted over so that she could start banging her head on the table again. Nodoka's arm lashed out with surprising speed, and moved the pillow under her head once more.  
Yurumi had several sweatdrops rolling down her head, and her blush had faded away as she began to look quite uncomfortable. "Uh, can I be excused, please?"  
"Of course. Take your brother with you; he seems quite out of sorts all of a sudden."  
Ranma twitched. 'My mother is insanely creepy...'

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Fwump!_ Mousse fell to one knee as his long, razor-edged teeth clenched shut, his entire body trembling as his bones swiftly knit within his arm and shoulder. Blood oozed from rapidly-sealing gashes in his bicep and seeped into the network of cracks and gouges that decorated the concrete below.  
After a few moments of panting through his teeth, the cursed behemoth stood back up, glaring at the figure across a relatively shallow, but wide-spanning crater.  
Setsuna was panting much harder, and holding her arm close to keep it from bleeding too much. She sported a trio of gashes over her shoulder and just under her neck, a reminder that she was not to attempt using any of her flame attacks again; that one mistake had nearly cost her life.  
'He shrugged off the internal damage just as easily as the external... the organ shredder technique wasn't as effective against this... monster as it against humans.' She had expected as much before she tried the attack, but at this point she was running out of ideas on how to win this.  
Mousse was likewise at the end of his rope, and just hanging on by virtue of his demonic form's outstanding resilience and regenerative abilities. The difference was that he had been in such a state for the vast majority of the battle.  
As time went on, however, and the redhead exhausted her library of skills, his natural power seemed to be holding the advantage in the battle... then again, that's what he had thought when he'd fought Ranma for the first time.  
Mousse glanced about at the surroundings. Shattered concrete and blacktop lay in great piles around blackened craters. It was unsettling how few of those craters he was responsible for.

Setsuna's form blurred slightly as she dashed toward the wall, red droplets marking the path behind her.  
Mousse moved sluggishly in response, and turned to stab one arm deeply into the same wall right as the redhead jumped off of it and spun in mid-air while extending her leg.  
_CRACK!_ Setsuna's heel struck the demon's collarbone, and Mousse grunted as he felt his much-abused skeleton shudder under yet another fracture before driving his free hand down to where his opponent had tumbled onto the ground.  
Setsuna barely rolled out of the way before the behemoth's massive claws tore through the asphalt, and then shoved off the ground while twisting around one foot, building momentum before striking the arm embedded in the street with her open palm.  
_Sprak!_ Blood burst from the back of Mousse's arm in a thin spray, and the bones in his forearm threatened to buckle from the perfectly aligned force stabbing into them.  
With a tiresome grunt, Mousse yanked his talons free and swung at the redhead almost lazily.  
Setsuna ducked the attack, and then plowed her fist forward into the behemoth, creating two more long furrows in the street as Mousse skidded backward from the force.  
'He's getting slower... either he thinks he's already won, or he's gotten used to the idea of losing.' Setsuna backed off as the cursed demon teetered slightly, looking as if it might fall over.  
Then the behemoth started sucking in air once more, and the redhead forced her aching legs to move once again as she tried to stumble out of range.  
Mousse felt his chest burn with exertion as he summoned his fire breath, and suppressed a cough from the effort. It shouldn't have been that hard to spit out another gout of flame, not with his power, but after the extremely draining battle against Ranma (he called it a battle, at least; to Ranma it was more like a brief chore) and the extended battle against this mysterious, malevolent girl, he was finding limits to his strength he had been previously unaware of.  
_Thwoosh!_  
Setsuna blinked as a thin tongue of flames spat out toward her, only to have the stream dissipate into a plume of smoke far before it reached her.  
She stood up straighter, and glared across at the monstrosity she was fighting. "Pathetic. Even like that, this is as far as you can go?"  
Mousse glared back, his chest heaving from having expelled that last bit of flame. "I SAID I DIDN'T WANT TO FIGHT YOU, YOU IDIOT. WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?"  
Setsuna snorted and crouched down, summoning her strength for yet another attack upon the demon.  
_Swsh! Swsh! Vwish!_  
Both combatants heard the incoming projectiles, but so focused were they on their opponent, that neither realized that the threat wasn't coming from their foe until it was too late.  
_Skrak!_ Setsuna turned sharply as a bladed fan grazed her shoulder, just managing to avoid a serious injury that would have impeded her use of that arm significantly.  
_Shrak! Slwsh!_ Mousse was not so agile in his cursed form, and was nearing exhaustion, and as such didn't even react in time to attempt a dodge before two bladed fans sliced through his hamstring and across his eyes. With a pained snarl, he fell to his knees, dark blood splattering across the ground all around him.

Setsuna quickly scanned the surroundings for the new threat, and quickly found it; not only was the unfamiliar woman really the only person around - as everyone else had fled - but the newcomer's outfit was an especially flamboyant and revealing costume that Setsuna identified as being a kunoichi uniform of one of the more eccentric Ninja clans.  
She had no idea why some Ninjitsu schools asked their female trainees to dress like exotic dancers, and personally found the practice demeaning and disgraceful, but now didn't seem like the time to be judging the interloper's choice of dress.

Mai glared down at the two combatants, paying extra attention to the monstrous creature panting on the ground. "What the HELL is going on here?! It's eight o'clock at night, for goodness sake! You might be some sort of demon, but show a little common courtesy, would you?"  
Mousse snarled unintelligibly as he waited for his eyes to heal, not bothering to start arguing with the woman about how this wasn't his fault.  
Setsuna's eyes narrowed. "This is my fight. It does not concern you. Leave."  
Mai fumed and snapped open another warfan. At first when she had approached the battle she was going to attack the demon exclusively, as was normally the right thing to do when one finds a teenage girl and a monster fighting in the streets, but she had overheard that last snippet of conversation between the two combatants, and had reconsidered her defense of the redhead.  
"It DOES concern me. This is one of my favorite late-night shops when I'm out on a job, and you've completely wrecked the front door and windows," she said irritably. Even now, this brat was further delaying acquisition of her precious chocolate candies...  
"Idiocy," Setsuna mumbled, turning back toward Mousse. "Don't whine to me about that nonsense."  
A vein popped up on Mai's head. 'Slight change of plans. No savage beating. This will require maiming.' With a casual flick of her wrist, a warfan went flying toward the arrogant redhead in a wide curve.  
Setsuna snorted and turned at the last moment, smacking the fan out of the air and down to the ground.  
Maybe it was because she was near exhaustion from her battle against Mousse. Perhaps it was because she was being extra cocky to try and get the Ninja bimbo to back off. Or it could have simply been that Mai just outclassed Setsuna by that much.  
But whatever the reason, Setsuna didn't notice the second fan heading straight for her until it carved into her shoulder, unleashing a thin spray of blood up in the air over her.  
Hissing at the sudden pain, Setsuna jumped back, instantly more wary of her new opponent.  
Mousse grunted and started to limp away, under some bizarre impression that he might be ignored in favor of the surly redhead if he didn't make a fuss.  
_Shrak!_ The behemoth drew back sharply as a warfan sliced across his snout, and glared angrily at the Ninja. 'Where is she keeping all those stupid fans, anyway?' Even as a master of hidden weapons, Mousse was a bit impressed by her holding so many spare projectiles while wearing so little.  
"Where do you think you're going, ugly?" Mai snapped, leaping down the street and promptly snapping open two more warfans. "I'm putting both of you down right now!"  
As Mousse started looking for possible sources of hot water amongst the nearby storefronts, Setsuna darted forward to the attack, unwilling to give an inch even when nearly exhausted.  
Mai flowed like water around the redhead's first open-palm strike, barely frowning as she felt the air pressure graze her arm. Then she twisted around the following punch to slam her elbow into Setsuna's nose, stunning her.  
Before the redhead could recover enough to gain some distance, the veteran Kunoichi grabbed her by the front of her shirt and dashed forward, slamming her hard into the brick wall that separated the sidewalk from the canal.  
"What now, brat?" The Kunoichi said, leaning in closer to speak as Setsuna hissed through her teeth from the pain. "You're tired and outmatched. You're bleeding in a dozen places and I KNOW I felt a bone crack just now. I'm not sure what that thing is that you were fighting, but I can finish what it started. Why don't you make this easy and give up?"  
Setsuna took a few ragged breaths, and then grabbed for Mai's arm, trying to use the last of her strength to break the bone and disable the limb.  
Mai expertly reversed the attempted strike and pulled Setsuna back, striking the redhead in the chin with a closed warfan before kicking her solidly into the wall again.  
Setsuna made a gurgling noise in the back of her throat as she felt blood well up in her mouth. 'No... I... I can't... so... close...'  
A final strike to the girl's solar plexus finished her off, and Mai growled as the redhead slumped to the ground, glaring at her in annoyance. Something about the redhead besides her attitude really rubbed the Kunoichi the wrong way, and at the same time, the teenage girl was giving out "danger" vibes that she hadn't felt in quite some time.  
With a start, Mai suddenly remembered that there were two combatants she had come to subdue, and was amazed and quite discouraged when she turned and found that the massive furred demon was nowhere in sight. It was testament to how seriously she took the redhead that she hadn't been keeping her attention on the giant monster. In retrospect, it seemed more than a bit foolish.  
Quickly hopping onto a rooftop, Mai glanced about quickly, sparing only a moment to observe a foreign boy limping away from the area with hot steam pouring from his body. "I don't see it... I can't sense it at all... how does something that big with an aura so blatant HIDE? Ugh..."

On the ground, Mousse winced as he overheard the Ninja woman's statement, and tried to compensate for his limp better so that he wouldn't be as suspicious.  
'What kind of madhouse is this? I should be able to take Elder Cologne in my demon form, and some foreign brat fights me to a standstill? And then a random woman in a skimpy outfit drops in while on a shopping trip and takes her down?! This is insane! There are Amazon veterans of thirty years that wouldn't last thirty seconds against either of those women!'  
Gasping painfully, he slumped onto a bench on the sidewalk a block away from the battle. He knew he couldn't stay there for long, as the redheaded girl probably boasted an incredible rate of recovery to round out her considerable abilities.  
'Damn it all! I wasn't even trying to get in a fight, and I ended up getting in two of them and barely avoiding a third!' Mousse grit his teeth and forced his body up. 'Oh, Shampoo... where could you be?'

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Shrak!_  
Shampoo nodded sharply as bits of frozen wood went flying from the impact point, the top of the tree tumbling to the ground in a mess of cracking branches and freezing mist.  
"Good. It looks like you have the first technique down. It's about time," Shower grumbled, stepping up behind the teenager. "Then again, you only got to skip half the training, I guess I shouldn't be expecting much, here."  
Several veins popped up on Shampoo's head, but there was no other visible sign of her irritation with the woman.  
"Master Shower," the teenage Amazon said evenly. "Is not deadly technique, this? Break tree easy, could break weaker human too, yes?"  
Shower shrugged. "No more easily than you could already cave a person's innards in with your bare fist. Ki attacks don't affect people the way they do plants or rocks. Any time you use such a technique on another person or animal, their own ki instinctively fights against it, off-setting your energy as best it can. This is why the **bakusai tenketsu** doesn't work on people or animals when it will split rocks, plastics, and even dead wood. Even the minute amount of life energy possessed by plants is enough to disrupt the precise chain reaction necessary for the technique to work."  
Shampoo frowned. "Thought it was about finding breaking point in rock, not ki..."  
"Peh. Use your head, girl. There are no pressure points on a rock, just thousands upon thousands of crystal formations, every one practically identical. You can shatter them all with a poke, but it takes more than finding 'the right spot'." She cleared her throat. "As I was saying, the **setsuben chuu** will rarely freeze a person's body completely to the point that it will shatter due to their aura. If you put a lot of power into it and use it against an untrained person, it can have that effect, but like I said, you hardly need such sophisticated techniques for such things. Against opponents of even mild skill, the attack merely forms a layer of ice over their skin, locking them within a frozen shell. A reasonably powerful opponent won't be trapped by it for more than a moment, but it will slow them down but good, even after they get free."  
Shampoo nodded, and gripped her hands into fists in front of her as she stared at them.  
Frost started collecting over her skin as it paled, and freezing mist started wafting out of her palms, in the same manner that she sometimes saw smoke emerge from Ranma's clenched fists when he was summoning power.  
It was an interesting dynamic that she hadn't really thought of until now, in the cold, calculating recesses of her cleansed mind. Fire and ice... his passion, put up against her cold, unshakable will. What was stronger?  
Of course, she had no illusions of actually beating Ranma. Not more than once, at least, if she managed to surprise and totally overwhelm him. Ranma was simply too much tougher and more adaptable than she was, and had far more experience manipulating his flames. He had told her once that Iori had even schooled him extensively in thermodynamics so that he would know his power inside and out, and from what she could tell, it helped him tremendously.  
"Well then. It's getting late. I'm turning in," Shower said as she started walking back toward the house, noting that Shampoo seemed to be thinking about something rather intently. "If you're going to spend all night practicing or some rubbish like that, don't make too much noise."  
Shampoo clenched her teeth briefly, but the irritation seemed to flow right out of her, like water spilling into a sink briefly before running out the drain. Holding onto anger was more than a little difficult in this state of mind.  
She took up another stance, and summoned her power once again, at home in the freezing cold of the soul of ice. She had a lot of work to do...

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Hashiru patted Hana on the head as Raven hauled his bags onto the train platform, smiling condescendingly at the bespectacled girl.  
"Now, now, don't worry about me. It's just a little training trip out in the middle of nowhere."  
The short brunette did not look appeased at all, and had her arms crossed under her breasts as she stared hard at her cousin. "Hashi, you've never camped before in your life, and you still haven't recovered completely from having your ribcage smashed into splinters. Why SHOULDN'T I be worried about you?"  
The gang boss looked annoyed. "Well, for one thing, your crush is going to be there with me."  
Hana didn't allow his referring to Ranma as "her crush" faze her in the least. "Yes, I know. On TOP of not knowing where you are or how to take care of yourself, Ranma's going to be kicking your over-muscled butt all weekend. Does he know to take it easy on you?"  
Hashiru's annoyance bumped up another notch. "If I had to ask the pyro to take it easy on me, I'd never live it down! Get a clue!"  
Hana's stern expression got harder as she swatted Hashiru's hand off of her head. "Then I'LL do it! Your pride isn't more important than your health!"  
"Easy for you to say! I've got a reputation to keep together!"  
"Same goes for your skull," the girl snapped back, "and I think it takes priority."  
The pair had a glaring contest for a few moments, with Hashiru's considerable height advantage (Hana hated having to crane her neck up to scold him) barely compensating for his considerable handicap of his hair completely obscuring his eyes.  
Hana, however, had the insurmountable advantage of being female.  
"All right! Fine! I'll be careful!" Hashiru said immediately as he broke eye contact. "Geez, whaddya want from me?"  
She actually had to stop and think about that; she had just been nagging him out of habit, not expecting that he'd ever actually relent. "Well... how about you take Raven with you?"  
"What is he, my babysitter?" The brawler groused.  
Raven bowed deeply from where he was standing next to his master's luggage. "You need but ask, Master Hashiru. I shall chaperone you with my life!"  
"Shut up," Hashiru deadpanned before turning back to his cousin. "What makes you think he's got any more experience than me in camping?"  
Hana raised an eyebrow. "Uh... because he's an elite Ninja who spent years undergoing hellish training deep in the wilderness?"  
Hashiru and Raven shared a look.  
"What? Where'd you get that idea?" The gang boss asked, rubbing his head.  
Raven winced and looked away.  
"What do you mean?" Hana asked, confused. "If he didn't undergo special training, how did he learn all the Ninja stuff he does?"  
"Duh. He took martial arts classes when he was a kid. Just like Joshin. The closest thing he's ever done to camping is scouting someone's backyard overnight."  
Hana looked quite surprised by this. "But he told me that he grew up in a secret Ninja village, spending years perfecting the art of the assassin under the harshest of conditions!"  
"That may have been a SLIGHT exaggeration," the Ninja mumbled, sweatdropping.  
"Yeah, slight," Hashiru said wryly. "After all, Ninjitsu classes met, what, THREE times a week? And they didn't even feed you for the whole four hours!"  
"Well... they didn't **always** feed us, anyway."  
Hana groaned and rubbed her head. "Okay, fine. So Raven doesn't know anything. I'd still feel better if you took him along, just so that there's someone on standby to drag your unconscious body away from the sparring sessions and give first aid."  
The gang boss winced. "You're MEAN."

"Yo! Hashiru!" Ranma waved happily at the taller boy from across the station, Min and Tomas behind him.  
Hana nodded and turned to Raven. "Okay, I'm leaving now. Don't let Hashi do anything stupid, like fight Ranma 'all-out', okay?"  
"Just hurry up and GO, will ya shrimp?"  
Hana smirked and walked off as Ranma, Tomas, and Min approached across the platform.  
Raven raised an eyebrow once she walked out of earshot. "Not a single mention of the Ninja girl or her proximity to Yagami... it would seem that she's over him. At least to the point that she doesn't feel the need to criticize whatever woman he's with to anyone who will listen."  
"Yeah, I'd guessed as much. It's better this way. Yagami's too popular for his own good. Or anyone else's good." He waved pleasantly as the fighter in question approached. "How ya doing, kid? I guess we're really going through with this thing, aren't we?"  
Ranma tsked as he approached. "You make it sound like we're planning a bank robbery. This is a just a training trip. Don't worry about it."  
"Hmmm..."  
It took Ranma several moments to realize that Hashiru wasn't mulling over what he said, but rather staring at the girl behind him. Rolling his eyes, he stepped aside so as not to impede the man's ogling.  
Min blinked as Hashiru appraised her openly, and shook her head. She was wearing cut-off jeans that left her legs entirely bare and a black T-shirt that was tied tight under her breasts. Altogether not much more or less revealing than her Ninja costume, really, but the last time Hashiru had seen THAT, he had been too busy fighting to do much ogling.  
"Grow up, will you?" The Kunoichi sighed. "We're here to train, not hook up."  
Hashiru grinned. "Maybe YOU are."  
Min's eyebrow twitched in annoyance. "If you want to do that, then just stay here. It's not like we need you around."  
"I'm hurt!" The gang boss said in mock emotional pain. "I really am! I put myself out to escort you out into the wilderness - even offering to spring for the train, food, and Ninja servants - and yet you treat me so coldly!"  
Min stared. "... You're bringing along your Ninja?"  
"I don't want to talk about it."  
"Huh. Well, whatever." Min stalked up to the gang boss, a firm expression on her face. "Now listen up, horndog. I can accept that you're going to be staring at me a lot. Fine. You're a guy, and unlike SOME men around here, you're not mature enough to keep your mind out of the gutter, or at least be inconspicuous about it. So we're going to set down some ground rules, got it?"  
"Okay!"  
"First of all, I know how fast your hands can move. Keep them to yourself. If we're sparring and something happens to 'slip,' I will hurt you. Then I'll see about getting Ranma and Tomas to hurt you."  
Hashiru nodded. "Hm, that sounds fair."  
"Second, stay OUT of my tent and away from the river or whatever when I'm bathing. No leniency on this one. If I catch you peeping, you die."  
The brawler nodded again. "Absolutely."  
Min frowned slightly. "And finally, TRY to keep eye contact when I'm speaking to you, all right? It's annoying to have men talking to your cleavage."  
"You can count on me."  
Min was silent for several moments as she stared at the curtain of hair that fell over Hashiru's eyes. "You're staring at my breasts, aren't you?"  
"If you can't tell, then there's no problem, right?"  
_Thwack!_

Raven sweatdropped as he stepped up next to Ranma, watching the exchange. "Pardon... perhaps it's not my place to ask, but... shouldn't you do something? Master Hashiru is-"  
"Just kiddin' around," Ranma interrupted. "He's messing with her. He'll be messing with her the whole weekend. He's not serious, so there's no point in me getting upset." Of course, Ranma didn't really know what he would have done if Hashiru WAS serious, but left that point unsaid.  
"Besides, does it LOOK like Min needs someone to defend her?" Tomas deadpanned.  
Raven had to admit that the American boy had a point as he watched the Kunoichi "playfully" kick his master into a utility pole. "Ah. Not the jealous type then, are you Yagami?"  
"I'd like to think not," Ranma responded. "So you're really coming? This isn't usually the sort of thing that people bring along manservants for."  
Raven looked annoyed. "I'm not a 'manservant'. I'm a professional assassin, saboteur, and spy. There is a CONSIDERABLE difference."  
"Oh, so you're going to be stabbing and spying on people out in the wilderness? Instead of carrying bags, setting up tents, applying first aid, stuff like that?"  
"..." The Ninja's eyes narrowed. "Do you **practice** annoying people?"  
"Nope, it's a natural talent." Smirking, Ranma picked up his bag and tossed it toward Raven. "The train's almost here, so get this loaded up, would you? I think Min's about to boot Hashiru onto the railroad tracks."  
Tomas groaned. "Min, would you calm down? We haven't even left yet!"  
The Ninja twitched irritably, glancing at the pile of baggage gathered on the edge of the platform. "It's going to be a long trip..."

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_Huff! Huff! Huff!_  
Ryoga grit his teeth as his fingers fought for purchase on the iron-hard rock that made up the face of the cliff, pitting the full measure of his strength and legendary stubbornness against the challenging topography of the area.  
With a savage grunt, he grabbed the edge of the cliff top, and pulled his body, backpack, and combat umbrella up to the safety of hard, flat, horizontal rock.  
_Gasp!_ "I... I did it..." Ryoga clambered to his feet and took a few more steps before stopping and gazing out at the scenery far below.  
"I did it! Ha ha! FINALLY!! I found my way back to Tokyo!"  
The lost boy grinned as he clenched his hands into fists, his pronounced canines making the expression look particularly vicious.  
"So close... I'm so close to my revenge that I can almost TASTE-"  
Someone cleared his throat behind Ryoga, and the lost boy stopped speaking and turned around. "Eh? Whaddya you want?"  
An old man stared at the martial artist oddly, a backpack full of branches mounted on his shoulders. "I was just wonderin' whatcher doin' here, son. We don't get many visitors in these parts."  
"Oh. That." Ryoga shrugged. "Don't mind me, I won't be here long." He grinned again as he returned his gaze to the city below. "My goal lies in Tokyo."  
The elderly man blinked. "Well, then what're you doing HERE? Tokyo's that way," he explained, pointing in the opposite direction Ryoga was facing.  
The lost boy turned and frowned. "You're crazy. There's nothing that way except the forest. The city is THAT way," Ryoga insisted, pointing toward the buildings in the distance.  
"Well, of course you can only see forest. You're a long way from Tokyo, son. That there is Kagasaki. Have you noticed that there isn't a single skyscraper down there?"  
"What? But... No... really? I mean..." He groped for something to say, and then grit his teeth. "So... how far away is Tokyo?"  
"Don't know, exactly. 300, 400 kilometers maybe?"  
Ryoga took a deep breath.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"DAMN YOU, RANMA!! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!"

Ranma jerked to a stop as birds erupted from the forest canopy in a wave of feathers, panicked from the noise. Min, Tomas, and Raven, for all their supposed skill, promptly walked into him from behind, each likewise distracted by the shout.  
Hashiru - who had been keeping a better distance in the back so that he could better observe Min - whistled. "What a greeting! I can't wait until we get to the actual site!"  
Min quickly backed off of Raven, and frowned up at the trees. "Where the heck did that come from?" She glanced at Ranma. "Is there something you want to tell us?"  
Ranma sweatdropped as he continued forward. "No, not really. They probably weren't even shouting about me. There could be lots of guys named Ranma around here."  
Raven looked doubtful. "It's a rather uncommon name..."

"RANMA YAGAMI, WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, I'LL CRUSH YOU INTO PASTE!!"

Sweat started rolling down Ranma's forehead as he continued on. "What? There could be other families with the name Yagami."  
"With the same first AND last name?" Tomas deadpanned.

"I'LL TEAR OFF THAT STUPID PIGTAIL OF YOURS AND SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT!!"

"Don't start," Ranma groused, picking up the pace. "Pigtails aren't that weird a style. 'Specially out here in the boonies."

"ALSO, YOU TURN INTO A GIRL!!"

"Hey, come on, now!" Ranma shouted up into the air as his companions groaned.  
"So do you have enemies in all corners of the globe, or just here in Japan?" Min asked leadenly.  
Ranma was about to answer with something sharp and sarcastic, when images of the Chinese Amazon village flashed through his head. "No comment."  
Then he put down his backpack, and glanced around at his surroundings. "Here. This will do."  
Min and Hashiru both blinked. "Here?" The former asked, "But the trees are so close together, and the ground is rocky!"  
"Not to mention it's way too far from the river," Hashiru complained, "we'd have to walk like five or six kilometers just to get water!"  
Tomas sighed, but remained silent.  
They were interrupted from their complaints by the sound of a dark, deep chuckling.  
Ranma grinned and looked over his fellow campers. "Tsk! So short-sighted. My friends... after a day of training with a Yagami, a long hike for water followed by sleeping on a bed of rocks will be like PARADISE."  
Min gulped.  
Hashiru looked skeptical. "Paradise. Really."  
Ranma stopped to think about it. "No, not really. It'll still suck, but you don't have a choice, here."  
"We appreciate your honesty," Tomas deadpanned.  
"Heh... ladies and gentlemen, you have arrived in Hell. Make yourselves at home..."

End Chapter 17

**Setsuben chuu** - Snowflake kiss


	18. Rocky Had it Easy

And now, a word from our sponsor:

_How to speak Australian._

"Surely, milady, a pure, noble maiden such as yourself would have little trouble denying the foul attentions of the fiend Yagami on your own," Kuno said haughtily, walking behind Min as they left the school building. "However, I feel it is the responsibility of one of the upper classes, such as myself, to assist a lady whenever I am able; I do not dare make light of your formidable power and exquisite technique, but merely seek to distract the foolish and unworthy from debasing your divine form!"

Min was grinding her teeth in annoyance as she stalked away from the school building with her upperclassman following.

Tatewaki rubbed his chin as he sped up, trying to keep as close to her as possible without stumbling into the kunoichi. "It is, therefore, obviously my duty as well to care for you as is the way of men to care for their lovers."

Min stopped suddenly as twin waves of indignation and nausea washed over her with equal power, stunning her as two separate and mostly incompatible urges competed for her attention.

"Very well! Then the way is clear!" Kuno pronounced, nodding sharply. "Then I shall date with thee!"

_Thwoom!_ Before Min could formulate her own violent response, a purple fireball suddenly slammed into Kuno's legs, sending him staggering into the street.

A dark blur was all the kendoist managed to see before Ranma materialized in front of him, grabbing him by the front of his shirt.

"C-Cowardly fien-"

_WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!_ Ranma lifted Kuno into the air and then slammed him hard into the sidewalk repeatedly, leaving a cracked, uneven impact crater from the force. Then he lifted the dazed noble into the air, and small sparks of purple floated upwards on a sudden and ominous updraft of heated air.

_BWOOM!_ Kuno's world exploded into pain as a pillar of violet hellfire lanced upward from around Ranma's feet, leaving the pigtailed boy unscathed but searing him quite badly.

With an annoyed snort, Ranma threw the kendoist savagely into a nearby garbage can, spilling the older boy onto the street along with the other trash.

Without any exchange of words or prompting, and before he could even ask if she was okay, Min immediately dashed up to Ranma and then grabbed his shoulders before kissing him deeply.

_Romance._

As the pair of martial artists started making out in earnest, an empty gold and blue aluminum can bounced off of Kuno's head and landed label-up, revealing the word "Fosters".

_Beer._

Fosters. Australian for beer.

And now for our feature presentation.

Yagami 1/2  
A Ranma 0.5/King of Fighters crossover  
by Black Dragon

Disclaimer: I don't even drink alcohol. I just loved those commercials.

Notes: _Sounds_, **Emphasis or techniques**, 'Thoughts', "Dialogue"

Chapter 18  
Rocky had it Easy

"All right kids, here we are," Ranma said smugly as he turned to face his companions.

Hashiru, Tomas, and Min stared up at the sheer cliff face that Ranma had brought them to, giving the terrain a critical eye. Each of them was already dusty and worn from the earlier warm-up exercises and katas, not to mention their extremely sub-par accommodations, but had been looking forward to the first major exercise that Ranma had planned as the first real day of training started.

"We're going to start off with something simple," Ranma said, pacing back and forth in front of the other teenagers like a drill instructor. "We're all going to climb to the top of this cliff. The last one up is going to regret it. Questions?"

The trainees all blinked at the succinct instructions, but after a moment decided that the explanation was plenty, and they simply nodded.

"Then what're you standing around here for?" Ranma snapped. "Get going!"

Tomas and Hashiru wasted no time, promptly sprinting up to the wall and then making superhuman leaps upward.

Tomas nearly slipped when he impacted the wall, but a moment of concentration allowed his hands to gently find slight handholds in the surface of the rock, keeping his balance and his grip despite all appearances.

Hashiru, naturally threw subtlety out the window, and took his hand out of his pocket just before he reached the cliff, digging his fingers deeply enough into the stone such that he could hold up his weight.

Ranma gave a suspicious glance backward at Min, who was simply smirking smugly at him, and then shrugged before he too leapt onto the wall, clinging to the surface in a manner similar to Tomas, though he started climbing well below the other boys.

"Man, is it just me or is Yagami having a bit too much fun playing the big, bad drill instructor?" Hashiru growled as he stabbed his hand into the cliff again, pulling himself up further. Although his manner of climbing undoubtedly made him more stable than Tomas, it made his progress slower; he was really hoping that Min was busy at the bottom trying to figure out how to get up, and wasn't just toying with them by starting late.

"Well, I guess that he spent most of his life on this end of the training shtick," Tomas said as he leapt up a good two meters and spent a moment adjusting his grip. "Besides, it's just for the weekend. Let it go. Hup!"

"Eh, it doesn't really bother me," Hashiru admitted as he spent a moment to kick a small hole in the cliff at his feet. "Just makin' conversation." With a slight grunt, he fixed his foot into the hole and leapt upward, gaining considerably on Tomas. At the very least, he was hoping he could keep up enough that he wouldn't have to start shouting to talk.

Both Tomas and Hashiru blinked in surprise as Ranma climbed up past them, crawling up over the surface of the cliff like a spider. To Tomas, it seemed like Ranma was using the same method he used of altering his body's energies to affect its balance, as well as using the natural folds and roughness of the stone to hold himself. The difference was simply that Ranma was much, much better at it, and as a result he didn't have to spend any time stabilizing himself before climbing up further.

'Yeah, go figure Ranma's the best at his own training exercise,' Tomas thought, rolling his eyes. 'Well, whatever. As long as I'm not last... wait... where's Min?'

The American was, oddly enough, the last one to think of this, as both Hashiru and Ranma were waiting for the Ninja girl to make her move. Neither of them was willing to slow down and look, however.

"Outta the way, suckers!" A feminine voice from below finally prompted all the boys to glance downward, their curiosity and worry overriding their need to get up the cliff.

All were reasonably surprised to see Min sprinting vertically up the face of the cliff, running as easily as if she were on flat ground. "Coming through! See you at the top!"

"Gah!" Hashiru barely swung to one side in time as Min dashed past him, rapidly passing Tomas' position and then Ranma's. "Aw, man! You gotta be kidding me! That Ninja stuff is so unfair!"

Ranma frowned and remained still, even as Tomas and Hashiru quickly resumed climbing. "Hmmm..." Then he pulled back one hand.

_Crack!_ Pounding a fist into the cliff, he created a small patch of cracks right next to him, and then broke off a rock from the damaged portion of stone about half the size of his fist.

Licking his lips briefly, he then flung the rock upward.

_Thwack!_ "Bwuh?" Min's heart skipped a beat as she felt something hit her in the shin, and her eyes widened as her sneakers suddenly slipped against the cliff wall, her technique ruined. "Uh... UWAAAAAAAAAH!!"

Tomas and Hashiru stopped in their tracks, staring disbelievingly at Ranma.

This proved to be a rather painful mistake in Hashiru's case, as he was right below Min. _Thwud!_ "Augh!"

Luckily, Hashiru had a very solid grip on the terrain, and Min groaned as the brawler struggled to hold them both up.

"Well... this is a mixed blessing," Min mumbled as she managed to get the air back into her lungs. While Hashiru had broken her fall, she was now in a very awkward and uncomfortable position, with her legs straddling the side of his head and her body supported by Hashiru's outstretched arm... with his hands firmly gripping the most obvious handholds he could manage on the spot.

"You're telling me!" Said Hashiru through clenched teeth. He would have dearly loved to enjoy the sensation of having his palm blamelessly clutching Min's cleavage, but between the shock of the impact and the sudden weight shift, he really had to concentrate on holding his arm steady; although he really didn't care if Min fell, since that would only improve his own chances, he knew she would just grab onto him if he tried to drop her, and he really couldn't handle any further shifts in his balance.

Min frowned at the position, and then cleared her throat. "Given the situation, I'll forgive where your hands are, but if I get any squeezing you're a goner!"

"Would you shut up and get OFF of me?" The gang boss growled.

Min did no such thing, instead bending her head upward to glare at Ranma. "What the hell was that? You threw a rock at me!"

Ranma snorted. "Yeah? So what? I don't wanna be last, and that means taking every chance I can get to come in first."

"That's cheating!" Min protested.

"No it's not," Ranma shot back smugly. "There are no rules here, only an objective. Besides, what kind of training would it be if I made it so easy for you?"

On the other side of Ranma, Tomas smirked as he raised a fist. "In that case... **power wave**!" A red surge of energy burst from the cliff face as Tomas smashed his knuckles into the rock, and promptly zipped over toward Ranma.

Ranma responded by suddenly sliding straight down the wall several meters before stopping dead, apparently having much finer control of his grip than Tomas had guessed.

Which left the energy wave coursing straight toward... Min and Hashiru. Oops. Well, they were opposition too, so maybe it didn't matter.

Seeing the incoming attack, Hashiru growled at Min, who was still clinging to his arm. "I said... GET... OFF!" _Wham!_ With a tremendous effort considering his lack of leverage, he managed to slam Min against the face of the cliff, eliciting a yelp from the Ninja girl before she surrendered her grip on his arm and tumbled downward again.

Hashiru wasted no time in sweeping his hand over the power wave just before it hit, gathering it up in a haze of blue energy. "I don't want it; take it back!" With that, the brawler flung the projectile back at Tomas.

"Gwah!" The American quickly pressed his body flat against the rock face, the airborne energy bolt passing over his back close enough to singe his jacket.

"HEY! What the hell was that?" Min shouted, having managed to stab a fan into the cliff just below Hashiru to prevent herself from falling further. "I let you feel me up and this is how you repay me?"

"You didn't 'let' me do anything!" Hashiru snapped back angrily. "Besides, there's no way I'm gonna be last!"

"How do you think you're-" Min trailed off as the muscular arm that had formerly held her suddenly went completely slack. "Uh... hey now..."

_Shwsh!_ Min cringed as a flesh-colored streak barely missed striking her head, despite the fact that she hadn't been able to dodge in time; apparently the unusual angle had affected Hashiru's aim.

"All right, now you've done it!" The kunoichi snarled, pulling a warfan out of her cleavage and snapping it open. "**Kachou sen!**"

Hashiru stepped up to the side so that he could better swing his arm underneath him, and his hand flared blue as the bladed fan flew up toward him. "**Baikaeshi**!"

Scooping up the projectile right before it hit him, he immediately tossed a blue energy bolt straight back down at Min.

Yelping, the Ninja girl jumped to the side, barely avoiding the blast before she once again stabbed a fan into the face of the cliff to hold herself up. "Hey! How did you do that?!"

Hashiru smirked. "Heh. That? That was..." then his smirk slowly vanished. "Wait. How DID I do that with a fan? What I threw back was an energy bolt. That doesn't even make sense..."

_Thrak!_ The brawler cried out in surprise as another power wave from Tomas blasted him when he was distracted, breaking up the cliff enough that he could no longer hold on. "D-Damn it!"

Min smirked as the gang boss plummeted past her, and then took a firm grip on her fan, preparing to start sprinting straight up the cliff again.

_Shwsh!_ The Ninja girl squeaked in surprise as something suddenly attached itself to her leg, and then she cried out as she felt a considerable weight clinging to her waist.

Min was reasonably infuriated when she looked behind her and saw Hashiru holding on tight, apparently having used his hebi tsukai as a grappling hook to prevent his falling further.

"You jerk! Let go, or you'll be sorry!"

"Oh, stop your whining. You fell on me first, remember?" Hashiru muttered.

Min growled incoherently for a moment, and then her eyes closed in concentration. "**Kagerou no mai**!" _Thwoosh!_

Hashiru yelped as his current handhold was engulfed in flames, threatening him with severe injury if he didn't let go and instead risk severe injury at the hands of gravity.

Not wanting to have to make that choice without at least seeing someone else suffer just as much, Hashiru kicked hard against the cliff face while still holding onto Min, launching them both away from the rock wall and the minute, questionable safety that it promised.

Up on top of the cliff, Ranma chuckled to himself as the screams of the two combatants floated up to reach him.

"Ugh... almost..." Tomas' hand reached up to grab the edge, and the American promptly launched himself up onto safe, solid ground.

"Congrats," Ranma said cordially, squatting near the cliff's edge just a few feet away. "I guess they didn't give you much trouble, huh?"

"I was a bit far away for them to deal with, is all," Tomas reasoned, sitting down. "Although..."

"Hm?"

Tomas smirked as he leaned back. "It's just funny, is all. I did the best, and as a result, I'm getting the least exercise. Min and Hashiru are going to have to start again from the bottom, and they're going to be fighting even harder because one of them is going to be last." He started chuckling, and then noticed that Ranma was rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

Sweating a bit, he quickly added, "Not that I'm complaining, of course! I mean, I made it up, so I'm done! That was the objective!"

"Yeah... that WAS the objective..." Ranma mumbled, his eyes narrowing.

There was a tense silence as Ranma stood over the American boy, a cruel smile suddenly growing over his face.

"**BURN KNUCK**-" Tomas screamed desperately, only to be cut off before he could launch the devastating attack... by Ranma's foot. _Whump!_

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!"

Ranma snorted as he watched the rustle of leaves from Tomas hitting some branches on his way down, and shook his head. "Feh, what a pansy. This isn't nearly as bad as when **I** was in training."

A wan smile graced the Yagami fighter's face as he thought back to the first time he had done this exercise with his father, scrambling from handhold to handhold as flaming rocks like meteors rained down the cliffside, courtesy of Iori.

'And then when I finally made it up, he'd just grunt and tell me to go back down and do it again... man... good times.'

"Guh!" A dirty, badly charred hand reached up the side of the cliff, and then Hashiru slowly pulled his head up above the ledge. "Yes! I'm... finally..."

_Thwock!_ Ranma promptly planted a foot into the brawler's face, glaring down at him. "Don't interrupt me when I'm reminiscing."

Hashiru managed to hang on, thanks to his remarkable strength. "What? Reminiscing? What are you talking about?" He mumbled into the sole of Ranma's boot.

_Fssh_...

Hashiru gulped when he heard a strange sound coming from around Ranma's leg, like that of a match being lit.

"That can't be good," the gang boss muttered.

_THWOOM!_ An explosion burst straight out of Ranma's foot down of the length of his calf, blowing the older boy back down the cliff once again, and sending a fair bit of the cliff down after him.

Ranma was rather pleased that the brawler didn't bother screaming this time; apparently Hashiru was learning to conserve his energy. "Heh, maybe there's just some hope for them yet..."

* * *

"_Hahh... hahh... hahh..._ You know... _hahh_... I never realized before... _hahh_... but you're a vindictive little punk, aren't you, Tomas?" Min asked from where she laid on her back, panting for breath.

"_Gasp!_ I don't want to hear that from you, you back-stabbing wench," Hashiru managed to growl out. He was currently sitting against a tree, one hand in his pocket, and the other held over the gashes on his abdomen.

"Ugh... shut up, Hashiru..." Tomas mumbled, from where he had collapsed over a log. He had several bruises and a few light burns, mostly from when his own attacks had been thrown back at him.

The three fighters spent barely a second glaring at each other before their exhaustion caused them to lose focus and go back to resting.

"Well, well, well. Tired already? It's not even lunch time yet!" Ranma chided, planting one foot on the end of the wooden log opposite Tomas. "Come on, at this rate, you might as well just spend the entire trip sleeping!"

"That sounds like a great idea. Let's do that," Hashiru griped. He wasn't afraid to admit that he was used to the easy life. His back-breaking martial arts exercises tended to be short, intense, mostly painless, and end with a nice meal and a back-rub.

Tomas let out a deep sigh, and then craned his head up. "So... who was last up the cliff? That last push was kind of chaotic, and there was a lot of fire."

"None of which was purple, I recall," Hashiru muttered, turning toward Min meaningfully. She stuck her tongue out at him, but said nothing.

Ranma shrugged. "I dunno."

Min twitched. "You... don't know?"

"Yeah, I was busy doing other stuff," the pigtailed boy said. "When I found you guys again, you were already up here."

"Wait... then we were fighting each other for nothing?" Hashiru growled, standing up.

Ranma smirked and wagged a finger at him. "Of course not. The more you fight each other, the stronger you get. That IS the point of all this, right?"

Tomas groaned. "So why is it that you get to kick us down a cliff instead of fighting us all too? You're here for training too, right?"

"I was training!" Ranma protested. "Well, actually, it's more like I was experimenting, really."

Min rolled over so that she was lying on her stomach, and frowned at Ranma as she propped herself up on her elbows. "'Experimenting,' huh? With what?"

_Fssh..._

Hashiru blinked as he heard a familiar noise. "Hey, wait..." now that he could see Ranma's leg, he saw that there were several small purple sparks floating upward around Ranma's calf caught in an updraft of heated air.

_THWOOM!_ An explosion of flame blasted apart Ranma's end of the log, and Tomas let out a panicked yelp as he was bounced in the air and tossed from his resting place.

As Tomas rolled to a stop next to Min, Ranma pulled his foot out of the patch of burning splinters and grass and grinned. "I didn't really notice right away when I blasted Hashiru, but I can channel the flames through my legs, too!" He crossed his arms over his chest, chuckling. "My dad's style still uses more of his family school, which doesn't use much in the way of kicks, and doesn't integrate fire attacks that way. The Anything-Goes School uses a lot more kicks, but wasn't built around the Yagami's flame powers. There's all sorts of useful things I can do with this!"

"That's great. Really. I am **so** happy for you," Hashiru deadpanned. "This figures. While we beat each other half to death for some stupid exercise, Yagami comes up with a whole new technique. BY ACCIDENT. Swell."

Ranma snorted. "We don't have all day to talk about how much better I am than you. Come on, move it!"

Min sighed as she pushed herself to her feet. "Well, whatever. If no one knows who finished last, then nobody gets punished or whatever, right?"

"Oh, no, we still need a loser," Ranma explained, planting his hands on his hips. "But I figure that we can make it simple at this point."

He grinned. "You all fight. First one unconscious gets 'special duty'. Go to it!"

The trainees all flinched, and then eyed each other cautiously.

"I don't suppose you have to fight, do you?" Tomas asked Ranma, frowning.

Ranma raised an eyebrow. "Would you like me to?"

Everyone grimaced immediately.

"... Even if we were to team up on him..." Hashiru mumbled.

"... When we're in this kinda shape..." Tomas sighed.

"... And when there are better targets..." Min said softly, her voice barely rising above the sound of steel blades sliding against one another.

_Wsh! Vsh!_ Tomas and Hashiru both leapt back as Min's warfans sailed through the air, barely missing the both of them and creating more space between the three fighters.

"Geez, not wasting any time, are you?" Tomas said, his stance firming as he pounded a fist into the ground. "**Power wave**!"

"**Hebi tsukai**!" Hashiru shouted at the same time, forcing Min to block despite the distance between them. "And then..." Taking his left hand out of his pocket, he promptly scooped up Tomas' power wave coming at him from the side before turning once again toward Min. "**Baikaeshi**!"

"Whoa!" Min rolled aside, the blue energy bolt barely flying over her head. "Hey! What's with all the extra attention? You targeting me?"

"Gee, I wonder," Hashiru mumbled, his arm lashing across the field to strike Min in the legs.

"Ah!" The Ninja girl stumbled, and then backflipped away before turning toward Tomas. "Hey, help me out, cousin!"

Tomas blinked, both his hands glowing red with power waiting to be unleashed. "What? Why should I help you?"

_Swhsh!_ Min hopped to one side as a flesh-colored streak barely missed her nose. "I can't beat this gorilla on my own! Besides, we're family!"

"Grk!" Hashiru took a step back at seeing Tomas hesitate. "Hey! Wait a minute! No alliances!" He looked toward Ranma. "Hey, ref! Make a call, here!"

Ranma briefly turned away from where he was searing his name into a tree trunk, the point of his index finger burning like an acetylene torch. "Don't care. Good luck."

Hashiru's face darkened, and he immediately turned back to Tomas. "Don't listen to her! If anyone should be teaming up, it's us! She'll backstab you in a heartbeat! Us men need to stick together!"

Tomas sighed and rubbed his chin. "Well... I dunno about that..."

"That's right! You shut up!" Min snapped, throwing another fan at the brawler.

_Shwack!_ Hashiru grunted as he blocked the projectile, noting that Min was now completely out of range of his techniques.

"Don't tell me to shut up! You got a lot of nerve, trying to gang up on me!" Flexing his right hand, it suddenly blurred to the side, grabbing the smoldering remains of Tomas' log before snapping back and sending the scorched hunk of wood sailing toward Min.

"**Ryuuen bu**!" Min shouted, slashing at the incoming log with a fan as a swath of flames trailed after her hand. It wasn't her normal technique, but it was almost as effective, and the log blew apart into ash and burning splinters, falling all around the Ninja girl.

"All right, you neurotic, self-absorbed pig! Now I'm getting serious!" Min snarled, her aura building around her and another warfan slipping into her free hand.

Hashiru pulled his left hand out of his pocket, and his fist glowed a brilliant, pulsing blue as he held it in the air. "It's about time! You're so weak, I was getting sleepy again!"

Min charged ahead, her body wreathed in circles of flame. "Take this!"

Hashiru's hand flared as he leaned forward. "Come get it!"

And then, just as Min entered arm's reach (her arm, not Hashiru's), they both immediately turned... toward Tomas.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING STANDING THERE WATCHING US FIGHT IT OUT?!"

This enraged question was accompanied by two blazing warfans and a bullet of shining blue energy, which took the young Bogard quite by surprise. "Gack!" _BWOOM!_

Ranma squinted as a wave of hot dust washed over him, and then stepped back to admire his full name, seared into the large fir tree's bark in exquisite (by his standards) kanji.

After a moment, he decided that something was missing, and snapped his fingers, which lit up his pointer finger again.

_Vssssh! Zssssh! Ssssus!_

The pigtailed boy chuckled as the words "was here" slowly cooled into tree trunk. "Yeah, that should do it."

His brief act of pointless vandalism complete, Ranma turned around just in time to watch as Tomas' scorched, unconscious body slid across the ground to stop at his feet.

"... Huh. Over already?" Ranma asked, obviously disappointed.

Hashiru and Min, both of them breathing heavily, stalked up to their instructor before standing at attention before him.

"Well, Bogard's down. We're done," Hashiru said, one hand in his pocket as his other flexed anxiously.

"So we avoid whatever horrible punishment you have in store for us, right?" Min asked, her arms crossed under her breasts.

Ranma nodded reluctantly. "Yeah, I guess you're right." Then he leaned over and picked up Tomas by the front of his jacket, lifting the American boy in the air.

"Hey! Tomas! Wake up! Snap out of it!" Ranma growled, shaking his friend from side to side hoping to jar him awake.

"Geh? Huh?" Tomas, who had fallen comatose more from the shock of the blasts than the damage he sustained in the first place, quickly improved his condition from comatose to dazed and shook his head weakly. "What... What happened?"

"Dunno; I wasn't paying attention," Ranma quipped, putting the older boy down. "But whatever happened, it beat you."

Tomas flinched, and then sagged weakly. "Swell. So what now?"

"Now..." Ranma began, smiling as he crossed his arms over his chest, "... you go make us lunch."

_Whump!_ Hashiru and Min promptly hit the ground in a facefault as Tomas blinked.

"Eh? That's it?" The American mumbled.

Ranma nodded. "Sandwiches are fine. Extra pickles for me."

"Are you saying we fought each other tooth and nail to avoid having to make lunch?" Hashiru groaned as he stood up.

"What happened to 'if you come in last, you'll regret it'?" Min growled as she hopped to her feet.

"Well, I'm sure Tomas **does** regret it," Ranma reasoned, "if not because he has to make our food, then because he got hurt so badly for nothing."

Tomas winced. "Okay, yeah, I'll have to give you that one."

"Great. Now get to it," Ranma ordered, dusting off his hands. "We have an hour before the next round of exercises start. Move it!"

* * *

"Urgh!" Min grunted as the massive boulder in front of her shuddered to a halt, unwilling to move any further up the incline she and the others were ascending. "Wait... huuuunh!"

Digging her shoulder into the side of the boulder and putting more force against it caused it to tremble slightly in place, but after she expended her breath, her cargo was no further up the mountain.

"You're stuck on some rocks, Min! Either clear them out, or you'll have to lift it over them!" Ranma shouted from where he was calmly walking forward on Hashiru's boulder (as the oldest boy was also the strongest in terms of brute force) to match the speed that the brawler was making progress.

The Ninja girl groaned and held her back against her boulder, afraid of it falling back down the mountain and forcing her to make the trip up again. "This is ridiculous! I can't see ahead of myself like this, and the terrain is horrible!"

Ranma shrugged. "What's your point? We gave you the smallest boulder, and the guys are doing okay. Do you want a bigger 'girl handicap'?"

Min fumed silently for a moment, glowering at their trainer, until Tomas rolled up next to her.

"Here Min, I'll help get you loose," the American boy volunteered, holding his boulder in place with a foot as he balled his hands into fists and summoned his aura.

Min sighed in relief. "Yes, thank you! I... uh... T-Tomas? Wh-What are you-"

"**Power GEYSER**!" _BWOOOM!_

"GAAAAAAAH!!" A vicious spike of energy blew Min and her boulder into the air, shattering the rock into fragments and nearly doing the same to his cousin.

Ranma winced as Min hit the ground a ways down the mountain, kicking up a dust cloud. "Great. Now I have to get her another boulder," he muttered, hopping off of Hashiru's rock and jogging down to the fallen Ninja.

Hashiru stared at the blast zone mutely, then cleared his throat. "So, I was just thinking... no hard feelings about me suddenly jumping you earlier, right?"

Tomas grunted as he started pushing up his boulder again, taking only a moment to rub away the dust kicked up by his explosion. "I don't know what you're talking about, Hashiru."

"Oh. Sure. Okay." There was another long moment of silence as the two continued rolling their cargo, though each of them could hear Min in the distance shouting promises to light Tomas' tent on fire while he was sleeping.

"Say, I don't think I mentioned this, but you make a really good sandwich, and I really appreciate you making lunch for us."

"Shut up, Hashiru."

* * *

"All right, guys. That's enough. Pack it up," Ranma called out from the tree he was sitting in, waving to the others.

Tomas and Hashiru immediately took advantage of the exercise ending, and fell over senselessly into the river that Ranma was making them cross using only twigs and bits of driftwood as stepping stones.

Min, who was finishing her seventh crossing, bounced up off of a chunk of bark and somersaulted through the air to land beneath Ranma's perch.

"Well, it's about time! I'm exhausted!" The kunoichi complained, dusting off her legs as her two companion trainees passed behind her courtesy of the river current.

"You can't be THAT exhausted if you're still able to jump around," Ranma chided, to which Min glared sourly at him. "How are your injuries?"

"Aching, throbbing, stinging, the works," she mumbled. "But nothing bleeding or broken, at least."

Ranma hopped down from the tree and patted her on the shoulder encouragingly. "That's good. Why don't you get a head start going to the camp and clean up a bit; I have to go fish the guys out of the river before they get too far."

"Right, right. You'd better go," Min allowed, sighing. Ranma nodded and promptly leapt out into the trees, leaping from branch to branch in much the same manner that Min used to get around in the woods.

"Ugh. This is NOT what I expected when I signed up for this," the kunoichi complained to herself, stretching while she leaned back on a tree.

Then she frowned as she thought over the day's events. "Come to think of it... from what I went through before with Hashiru, I kind of pegged him as an inept idiot before... but the guy's actually pretty clever on the field. And Tomas can be surprisingly sneaky and underhanded. Fighting with them constantly really brings out a different side to them." Most people wouldn't have considered that a good thing by any stretch of the imagination, but Min was more aware than most of the camaraderie that could come of beating someone bloody; for her it had been a family bonding exercise.

Standing up straight once more, the kunoichi headed off toward the camp, giving herself an unfortunate sniff on the way. "Ugh... need a bath..."

* * *

"So... I kinda get the feeling I asked this before, but who are you?" Min mumbled, frowning at the suspicious-looking fellow dressed all in black as he piled wood around a large steel drum filled with water.

Raven weathered the inquiry with the same impressive calm that he'd displayed the last seven times Min had asked him that. "I'm simply one of Hashiru's countless minions. Knowing my name is unnecessary. Not to mention inexplicably difficult for you."

"Oh... well, it's just kind of awkward not knowing your name, you know?" Min reasoned, scratching the back of her head.

"Not nearly as awkward for you as it is annoying for me, I assure you," Raven mumbled as he finished stacking the firewood. "Will you be needing a light?"

"Nah, I'm good," Min replied, holding one palm up parallel to her line of sight.

After a second of concentration, she swept her hand under the drum, and a ribbon of fire sprouted from her fingers to light the kindling at the bottom.

Raven promptly vanished in a blur as he saw Min begin to peel her sweat-soaked shirt off; given that she couldn't remember who he was for some reason, he could only imagine her reaction to seeing a stranger whom she didn't recognize standing behind her, watching her strip.

Min tossed away her shirt with a grunt, and then looked around briefly before she took off her bra, idly noting that the fire had built up rapidly. Having forgotten all about any men well-versed in stealth and spying who weren't occupied far away at the training area, she wasted no time in taking off her shorts and underwear, dropping it all in a pile before rapidly stepping into the drum.

"Brrrr! Sh-Should've waited a bit," Min said to herself as she shivered against the cold water that hadn't yet absorbed much of the flames below.

Still, the kunoichi wasted no time in producing a rag and scrubbing at her legs and arms to remove the streaks of dirts and scorched skin that had resulted from the day's activities.

"Hey, Min! You have a bath going already?"

Min turned around in the drum, making sure to keep her chest below the surface of the water. Ranma had just wandered back into the camp, in girl form, dragging a soaking wet and bleeding Hashiru on the ground behind her. Tomas was trudging up beside her, equally wet as the older boy, but more conscious.

"Yeah, but you'll want to change the water; this stuff is gonna be filthy when I get out," Min said as she resumed scrubbing.

Ranma considered this for a long moment, rubbing her chin.

In the meantime, Min leaned over a bit to get a better look at Hashiru. "Hmph. And he's supposed to be the tough one."

"He IS," Tomas protested. "But Ranma didn't get to us before we reached the waterfall... and Hashiru hit a rock." Min winced. "Well, actually, it's more like I somehow avoided hitting a rock..."

Ranma coughed into her fist, not feeling obliged to say when, exactly, she found the others and what reasons she might have had for leaving them to their fate. "Well, never mind about the bath, actually. I have a better idea. See you later, Min." Nudging Tomas, the pigtailed girl walked off toward the tents, gesturing for Tomas to follow.

Min frowned, hoping that Ranma's "better idea" wasn't some unnecessarily painful and idiotic way of cleaning the body, like being seared clean or something.

She was fairly certain the Yagami fighter had more sense than that, but the tempo of this training trip had given her doubts.

* * *

"Thanks... uh, Ninja guy. Just patch him up and take him over to us when he wakes up," Ranma instructed as Raven shook his head at the cut over Hashiru's head.

The Ninja grunted and glanced meaningfully at Ranma. "Given that you, at least, can apparently recall my existence, would it trouble you so much to remember my name?"

"I would if it weren't ridiculous," Ranma complained, crossing her arms under her breasts. "I mean, seriously? Raven? Don't you have a real name?"

Raven glowered. "I do. Would you **really** like to hear it?"

Ranma nodded. "Anything has to be better than that stupid nickname."

The Ninja manservant took a deep breath. "To my family, save my very understanding sisters, I am Perceival Norman Schmidt. The **second**." He bowed extravagantly.

Tomas snorted and physically held his mouth closed to restrain laughter.

"Oh... I... I stand corrected," Ranma said, deeply disturbed.

"How... I mean... aren't you Japanese?" Tomas managed to cough out without chuckling.

"Indeed," Raven deadpanned. "The elders in my family are quite fond of Western culture. More so than is reasonable. I suppose this 'Ninja thing' of mine can be considered a rebellion against that upbringing."

"Wow. I didn't know..." Ranma mumbled. "So... I'm gonna keep calling you 'Ninja guy' then."

A vein popped up on Raven's head as he yanked the first aid kit from his backpack. "Do what you will. I'm being paid to be here, anyway."

"Lucky you," Tomas deadpanned as he and Ranma walked off away from the camp.

"So how exactly is this going to work?" Tomas asked as he trudged behind Ranma to a wide, uneven clearing.

"Hmmm... okay, this looks about right," Ranma said, leaning over and pressing a hand to a rock in the middle of the field.

"Right? Right for what?" Tomas asked guardedly.

Ranma gave him an annoyed glance as she stood up again. "What're you so nervous for? We're just here to take a bath."

"Sorry," the American said nervously. "Things have been so rough so far, I guess I was just afraid this was going to turn into another training exercise."

Ranma rolled her eyes in response. "Whatever, forget it. Anyway, this is the spot we want."

"Why's that, again?"

"These mountain areas are full of pockets of hot water," Ranma explained. "The big pools are used for the resorts, but there are smaller ones all over the place if you know what to look for."

"And what you look for is... what? A big open clearing with a rock in the middle? I don't see any water," Tomas noted.

"Well, of course not," the redhead chided, wagging a finger at her friend. "You need to blast for it first."

"Blast for it," Tomas said weakly.

"Yup," Ranma confirmed brightly, which did nothing for Tomas' outlook on the task before them. "It's no big deal. Just give it one good power geyser, and we'll bust that water out like a... well... like a real geyser, I guess."

Tomas groaned. "Are you joking? I could barely pull off a jump kick right now," the American complained.

"Oh, come on. You didn't burn one major technique all day," the Yagami fighter protested, poking Tomas in the shoulder.

"Yes I did!"

"Oh. Right. Well, it wasn't all that big," Ranma reasoned, poking the older boy again. "Come on, suck it up."

Tomas' eyebrow twitched. "Even if I COULD work up the strength right now, the blast is actually just a surface-"

"Yeah, I know, it's a reflection of the ki energy off of the surface. I got that," Ranma said, cutting Tomas off. "Your normal technique wouldn't be very good at ripping up the ground. But instead of doing that, you could channel the energy into tightly focused 'strings' that dive straight down, right? The shaping shouldn't be that different from the power wave. Once they hit another source of energy, which should be the heat from the-"

"Whoa, hey, hold it!" Tomas said suddenly, backing up. "When the heck did you figure out the power geyser?"

"Oh, that? I pretty much had that worked out since that whole mess at St. Hebereke," Ranma said flippantly. "Why?"

"Why? That's my dad's signature technique!" Tomas shouted, torn between indignation and admiration of the person in front of him. "Wait, is that how you created the gouka rippuku?"

"No, no, that's completely different; I don't have to be as efficient in using my energy, so I usually just form energy pockets in..." Ranma trailed off, annoyed. "Look, it doesn't matter. We can stand here talking about your moves all night, but it won't get us clean. So just drum up some aura and pound the ground, all right?"

Tomas looked over Ranma warily, considering her earlier analysis of his technique.

Ranma was, by all rights, a barbarian and a woodsman who obviously felt more comfortable out in the wild beating people half to death than he did talking to people in the hall at school. It didn't surprise Tomas one bit that a man who needed to be instructed in dating etiquette and would flinch just at the WORD "algebra" would know the dynamics of geothermal pockets and be able to detect them.

What DID surprise Tomas, and honestly made the American boy quite envious, was Ranma's incredible talent for analyzing martial arts and the more exotic techniques he ran into. Even more impressive was Ranma's ability to make sense of the energy patterns involved on the most basic levels; by all accounts, Ranma didn't use ki himself, and was only familiar with it because all the other decent martial artists who couldn't summon the powers of a dark god at will had to use it.

'Kind of makes the training seem a bit futile,' Tomas mused, tugging on the bill of his cap. 'Not that I'm in this to beat Ranma, but if he takes two steps every time I take one, what exactly am I working for, here?'

Ranma, apparently, started getting annoyed by the American's hesitation, and started tapping her foot against the ground. "Hello? Tomas? You going to open up a hole in the dirt any time soon?"

Instead of making any move to summon his inner strength, Tomas instead teetered backward slowly.

_Thud!_

Ranma was silent for a moment as he stared at his student. "Sooooo... that's a no, then?"

"That's a no," Tomas agreed, not getting up.

Ranma rolled her eyes at her friend's playing up his exhaustion, but decided to relent. Training time was over, after all, and if she continued to push Tomas any farther past his breaking point, then it would make tomorrow's training that much more difficult.

"Fine then. Be a wimp," Ranma said as she stripped off her jacket, tossing it onto a low-hanging branch. "I can carve out a better crater than you anyway."

It took Tomas a couple of seconds before all the ramifications of that statement sunk in, and he raised his head off the ground as he felt a rather ominous heat wave pass over him.

In the center of the clearing, standing right above the rock noted earlier and far too close to Tomas' damp, broken body than was reasonable, Ranma stood in a strange meditation pose, her eyes closed, her back bent, and her arms hanging limply at her sides.

It would have looked rather stupid, except that a swathes of flame were seeping up out of the ground and circling around the redhead like glimmering purple ribbons.

The American street fighter actually continued to lie on the ground, stupefied by the admittedly beautiful sight, for another five seconds.

"Gah! Wait! Not yet!" Tomas shouted, crawling away for the tree line as purple flare bursts started lighting up the air above him.

At once, Ranma's eyes opened, and they briefly flared yellow as she clasped her hands together. "**GOUKA RIPPUKU**!!"

_BWAKOOOM!!_

* * *

Hashiru turned around in surprise as he heard the explosion, and then frowned as he saw a spike of purple fire stab briefly above the trees before dissipating.

"Well, shoot. NOW what's he doing?" the gang leader asked.

Raven, who was calmly wrapping his master's arm in bandages, merely shrugged. "I couldn't say, though I doubt it was an extension of your earlier exercises; Bogard seemed as if he could barely stand."

The Ninja manservant sliced off the wrappings from the roll with a kunai knife and then expertly tied the end of the bandages. "Yagami did ask that you join them once you were able, however."

"Ah, great. What does he want to do to me now?" Hashiru complained, standing up gingerly. "I was already in rough shape when Yagami dragged me up here, and then he puts me through the meat grinder like this! It's ridiculous!"

"With all due respect Master Hashiru, you deliberately requested that she not pay any mind to your injuries," Raven noted. "Of course, I doubt she would have gone easy on you otherwise, but you can hardly expect special treatment."

"Yeah, well nobody warned me Ranma was such a sadist," the brawler complained.

"If we had, you'd have laughed it off and told us how you weren't intimidated by a 'rough hike out in the wilderness' or some such thing," the Ninja retorted.

Hashiru grimaced. "Yeah, that does sound like me. Where's Min?"

"Taking a bath in a barrel on the South side of the camp, Master."

Raven was honestly surprised when Hashiru turned northward and started heading off toward Ranma and the ominous purple flare-up. "You're not going to visit the Bogard kunoichi?"

Hashiru stopped and looked behind him. "Only if I thought there was a good chance of getting to kick her barrel down the mountain with her still inside."

"Ah... she did quite well during your exercises, then?" Raven asked, intrigued. It was very rare for Hashiru to hold a grudge against a girl, especially pretty ones.

"She's a deceitful, ungrateful, petty, back-stabbing witch, and doesn't deserve the attention," the brawler said bluntly, scowling.

"I see..." Raven considered the list of insults, then shrugged. "Well... preferences for combat over stealth aside, Min Bogard is a Ninja, Master Hashiru. Such qualities come with the trade."

"Yeah, well, I like Ninja better when they take orders from me," Hashiru grumbled.

Raven smirked under his mask. "I'm honored by your favor."

"Swell," the gang boss said bleakly, rubbing the back of his head with his free hand. "... So... what's this I hear about you having sisters?"

"You should probably go join Yagami," Raven deadpanned, his amusement vanishing. "Otherwise, she might get upset, and take a deceitful, ungrateful, petty, back-stabbing Ninja's advice on particularly sadistic training exercises you could go through on the morrow."

Getting the feeling that Raven wasn't talking about Min, Hashiru wordlessly turned back around and walked off toward the light plume of smoke in the woods to better preserve his manservant's mood.

Besides, Raven practically lived at the Yamazaki estate; there would be plenty of opportunities to pry for information about his family.

The first thing Hashiru noticed as he neared the source of the blast was that there was a pool of water visible through the trees that he could have sworn wasn't there before.

The second thing he noticed, once he pushed his way through the bushes and could get a look at the entire pool, was that Ranma was male, contrary to Raven's earlier choice of pronouns.

'Well, great. And I just gave up my other chance to see a girl naked, too,' he thought irritably. "So... we have a hot spring now?"

Ranma looked up from where he was sitting up to his biceps in the steaming hot water, and smiled at the new arrival. "Yup! Strip down and come on in! The water's perfect!"

Hashiru couldn't possibly argue against taking a bath after suffering so much bodily abuse while being carried along by a flow of ice-cold mountain runoff, and didn't hesitate at all before he peeled his shirt off.

He hesitated a little before undoing his pants, but that was only because he finally noticed Tomas off to the other side. The American street fighter was fully clothed and lying comatose on the edge of the crater-shaped pool, one arm hanging over into the water.

It didn't escape the older boy's notice that Tomas was covered in soot. "Hey, Bogard's unconscious again."

"Yeah. This better not become a habit of his, or he'll spend half the trip asleep," Ranma quipped.

Hashiru shrugged and finished taking off his clothes before stepping into the steaming water. "Awwwww, yeah... where'd you find this spring, man?"

"With **science**," Ranma answered unhelpfully, smiling as he produced a rag and started scrubbing at his arms.

"Hey, let me use that when you're done," Hashiru requested, sinking further into the water as his muscles loosened.

"Yeah, sure," Ranma agreed, scrubbing his other arm and dipping it into the water. "Could you yank Tomas in here?"

Hashiru nodded eagerly and snapped one arm to the side, and Tomas was promptly sent sailing into the air in a high arc.

"Er... when I said 'yank' I didn't really mean-" Ranma began, only to shield his face as Tomas landed in the middle of the hot spring, spraying him with hot water. "Well, never mind."

"Gah! Pleagh! Bleagh!" Tomas began thrashing about in a panic, and then stopped when he realized that the water he had suddenly fallen into was about three feet deep. "Hey! What the hell, guys?"

"Oh, calm down Tomas. Clean up and relax," Ranma said, leaning back on the edge of the pool. "This is your only chance to wash up, so you should take advantage while you can. After this we eat and then go straight to sleep; we need plenty of rest if we're going to make any progress tomorrow."

"Could I maybe relax at a less hectic pace?" Tomas grumbled, pulling his soaked (and scorched) jacket off and throwing it onto the ground, followed by his hat. "I mean, seriously, you couldn't wait until I'd crawled to safety before blowing up the ground? Do you need a bath THAT badly?"

"Yes. And so do you," Ranma retorted. "Though if it helps, I didn't mean to burn you. I kinda figured you were just being melodramatic about being so tired you couldn't move."

The American boy grunted as he peeled off his shirt and threw it next to his jacket. "Aw, forget about it. I'd rather not end the day with another fight."

Hashiru sighed. "So, what terrors can we expect to deal with tomorrow, then? Ki-blasting through mountains? Swimming upriver with weights on? Racing uphill through a landslide?"

Ranma blinked. "Well... no, yes, and... well, that last one's actually a better idea than what I was gonna do."

"Well, it's nice to know I've at least pinned down the tempo, here," the brawler mumbled.

"What? You think it's too hard?" Ranma asked.

Tomas and Hashiru shared a glance, resisting their initial urge to agree with their trainer.

"Well, it's not as if we're risking death or anything out there," Tomas admitted (in defiance of his common sense), "but you're definitely pushing that line."

"Yeah, well, that's kind of the point," Ranma protested. "If you're not straining yourself close to your breaking point, you can't expect much improvement."

"Did your dad do this sort of thing when you were training together?" Hashiru asked, hoping to learn more about Ranma's background. Despite being counted among his friends, Hashiru knew very little about the pigtailed boy outside of his combat skills.

"Yeah, though he made me study a lot, too."

This surprised both of the older boys; each had assumed that Ranma had grown up mostly ignorant of anything save basic common knowledge.

Hashiru was less surprised, as he knew a bit more about the Yagami family besides the infamous feud they had with the Kusanagi clan and the notoriety of the current family head, Iori. Someone from a noble family like the Yagamis would be unlikely to abandon **all** the mannerisms of civilized society just for the sake of training.

"So, what sorts of things did you study?" the gang boss asked curiously.

"Thermodynamics," Ranma said.

There was a brief pause as Tomas and Hashiru sweatdropped.

"I mean, I learned other stuff too. Japanese is pretty hard to read and write if you don't practice, you know?" Ranma elaborated.

"But mostly he taught you about fire?" Tomas asked.

"Well, there's a lot to know!" Ranma said defensively. "Using our flame powers isn't simple! If you're going to do much besides set your clothes on fire, it takes a lot of control!"

"Well, sure, but did you really need to learn about physical science for that?" Hashiru asked, rubbing his head.

"Of course you do," Ranma insisted. "Knowing how heat disperses through different kinds of matter is VITAL to using our powers. Ki might be harder to generate, but my flames are much harder to harness. One mistake in using my techniques usually ends with a small, nearby explosion and a lot of dust in my face. I have to constantly keep track of how much heat I'm using, how fast I let it release energy, and the terrain around me to make sure a projectile detonates when it touches the enemy, instead of, say, a pebble or clump of roots. And I have to concentrate so hard to keep the gouka dan contained until impact that it's a miracle it explodes at all."

"Huh. I guess that makes sense," Tomas agreed.

Ranma nodded. "That's the problem that Yurumi has. Well, that, plus she overcharges her aura when she gets excited, but the main thing keeping her from using her flames as anything more than a gas lighter is that she doesn't understand how heat flows through the air or how other matter conducts it. So all her power comes out in short, badly-aimed explosions."

Hashiru whistled, remembering Raven's description of the long trench of destruction Yurumi had dug through the warehouse district. "Man, she's gonna be a handfull when she starts dating."

Tomas snorted. "Why is THAT the first thing that comes to mind with you?"

"Experience, my friend," the brawler said smugly, leaning back further. "Believe me, most girls I know are the most harmless, gentle creatures you could ever meet, and would never even think of burning someone's face off if they could. But lemme tell ya: nothing turns a girl to violent hate faster than romance. No matter how cute and innocent they are normally, all it takes is one badly-timed break-up and BOOM," Hashiru's hand swept across the water at supersonic speed, splashing both the other boys with another wave of hot water, "your house goes up in flames."

Tomas rolled his eyes. "You really think Yurumi would burn someone's house down over being dumped?"

"No, I was talking about normal girls. That's why we have the maids in our house do mock fire drills twice a week," Hashiru explained. "Yurumi would probably take out the whole block... or track down the guy and burn him slowly, to prolong his suffering."

"One more reason why all this 'dating' bull is a bad idea," Ranma mumbled, tossing his wash rag to Hashiru. "I still can't figure out how I ended up doing it."

"Well, it was either that, or break poor, gentle Min's fragile little heart," Tomas said, smirking.

Hashiru grunted as he started wiping off his face. "And then poor, gentle Min would have broken your fragile little skull."

"Hey, I have it on VERY good authority that my skull is one of the thickest there is," Ranma said, to which the others chuckled.

After a moment, the pigtailed boy sighed pleasantly. "Now, see, this is probably the best part of training trips, right here."

Tomas blinked. "What? Bathing?"

"No, I mean relaxing and just talking," Ranma said, a gentle smile on his face that neither of the others recalled seeing before. "We never get to hang out like this at home, you know?"

"Well, frankly, if you had asked me to strip naked and get in the bath with you back home, I probably would have hit you," Hashiru reasoned.

"That's not **quite** my point, but it's close!" Ranma said, pointing to the gang boss. "There's something about just hanging out in the wilderness and fighting constantly for exercise that... well, it..." he trailed off, uncertain of how to explain it.

"I get what you're saying," Tomas said, smiling. "I felt the same way when my dad took me out for training. You just connect with people."

Ranma nodded. "Yeah... it actually hasn't been that long since me and Pop got back home, but I really miss taking these trips with him."

Tomas blinked, and then thought long and hard about that. "Wait... so... you had these kinds of 'male bonding' talks with... Iori?"

"Well, no," Ranma admitted, "but I tried to, and sometimes he'd pretend to listen."

"What a paragon of fatherhood," Tomas deadpanned.

"Anyway, that's not the point. It's just nice to hang out and talk like people instead of martial artists," Ranma said.

"Well, then! Since you apparently needed to drag us out into the middle of nowhere and beat us half to death in order to have a brotherly conversation, we might as well make the most of it!" Hashiru said cheerfully. "Maybe we should get Raven in here too? He has some fun stories he could tell."

"Who's Raven?"

All three boys flinched at hearing Min's voice behind them, and they all quickly turned their heads in the direction of the camp.

Min was standing at the edge of the bushes, wearing a long T-shirt and nylon shorts, and not much else. She also looked rather miffed, which didn't really surprise any of them even if none of them could think of anything they did wrong.

"Min? Wh-What're you doing here?" Ranma asked in a stutter, his hands reflexively covering his privates despite the fact that he was submerged and out of her line of sight.

Hashiru didn't bother to cover himself, as he didn't mind one bit if Min saw him naked. Tomas didn't either, though given that he had never removed his pants, it was a moot point.

"What am I doing here? You guys found a hot spring and you don't even tell me about it?" Min asked irritably. "I had to take a bath in a rusty metal barrel!"

"It's **because** you occupied the barrel that we found the hot spring," Hashiru explained. "Now move along, honey. No girls allowed."

"What?" The kunoichi's expression heated considerably, and Tomas and Ranma flinched at the escalating conversation. "So you won't let me in, but this 'Raven' guy, who I've never even heard of, can?"

"Well... Min... this IS kind of the men's bath, you know?" Tomas explained gently. "It's not like we don't want you around or anything..."

"Yes, absolutely. That's not it at all," Hashiru deadpanned. "But you were the one who drove the point home that we can't see you naked, right?"

"Technically, I only said **you** couldn't see me naked," Min mumbled.

"And here I am," Hashiru concluded, turning around again and lacing his fingers together behind his head. "So unless you're willing to throw modesty out the window, you can go find something else to do back at camp."

Min grit her teeth, and looked like she was going to lash out at the brawler, but then calmed down immediately.

There were several options present if she wanted to get her way here: she could have pointed out that Tomas wasn't fully nude, and simply stepped in with her clothes on. She could have beaten Hashiru into unconsciousness, thus satisfying her earlier assertion that he was the only one she didn't want to flash. She could have appealed to Ranma, who had been timidly remaining silent all this time, and badger him into letting her in, since he was in charge.

In the end, however, sometimes the simplest solution was the best. "Fine."

Ranma and Tomas rapidly joined Hashiru in staring at the other edge of the spring away from MIn as the kunoichi suddenly pulled her shirt up over her head and tossed it to the side.

Hashiru blinked at the other two boys' nervous expressions, and then raised an eyebrow when he saw Min's shorts fall to the ground out of the corner of his eye.

_Sploosh!_ "Ahhhhhh... this is SO much better than that stupid drum," Min said happily, stretching her body out under the water.

"Oh. Okay, then," Hashiru said dumbly, glancing over at the Ninja girl.

Ranma and Tomas remained absolutely still, sweat pouring down their foreheads as they tried to figure out how to deal with this new development.

Min, for her part, simply pretended like there was absolutely nothing awkward about her sharing a bath with her cousin, her tentative boyfriend, and a shameless playboy. "So! What were you guys talking about?" She asked pleasantly.

Ranma gulped. "We... We were... talking... uh... about..." then he brightened. "Dinner! We were talking about dinner! Like, how I should go get it ready. Bye." He burst out of the water before Min could protest, and his clothes vanished as he dashed past them toward the camp.

"Oh! Right! I should help out!" Tomas agreed, hopping out the water and simply ignoring his clothes (given that he was still dressed from the waist down) as he sped after their trainer.

"Hey! You guys!" Min protested, but it was to no effect. In the space of two seconds, Ranma and Tomas were out of earshot, leaving her alone with Hashiru, who was staring at her blankly from the other side of the spring.

"Well, this isn't working out quite how I had planned," the Ninja girl mumbled, sinking further into the water.

"I know the feeling," Hashiru deadpanned.

Min sighed. "Well, whatever. I guess I'm stuck with you, then." Still fighting the blush that threatened to creep into her cheeks, she cleared her throat. "So, about this 'Raven' guy..."

Hashiru was silent for a moment, and then he shook his head and stood up. "Yeah... I gotta be honest with you Min: you've got a world class body and everything, but knowing that you're completely off-limits, this isn't doing much for me."

Min looked surprised, and then rather upset at the admission. "Well, so what? Just because I won't sleep with you means we can't sit down and have a normal conversation together?"

"No, it doesn't mean that at all," Hashiru assured her as he pulled on his boxers and picked up his pants. "But apparently, dinner's going to be ready soon, so I should be getting out anyway. So should you, actually."

The kunoichi glared at him, to which he shrugged helplessly. "Yeah, okay. Fine. But would it kill you guys to-"

"Sorry, I'm not listening, too busy thinking about dinner!" Hashiru said brightly as he pulled down his shirt, walking off into the bushes.

Min growled out an unlady-like comment, and then rose out of the water to get dressed herself. "I don't know what the world's coming to when you can't even count on men's sex drives to get your way any more..."

* * *

Ryoga was lost.

Lost in thought, that is.

Well, actually, he was lost in the more conventional sense as well, but that was so common as to be barely noteworthy.

More recently though, his wandering had taken on a more thoughtful sense.

After completing his training in the Yama-sen Ken to his satisfaction, Ryoga had immediately made for Nerima, intending to capitalize on his advantage as soon as possible. Needless to say, things had not gone according to plan, and he had completed three full tours of southern Africa before he had managed to end up back in Japan. This was fairly normal, but also very troubling.

While his new techniques were powerful, they were far from flawless or unstoppable, and Ryoga was aware of this. Even with the Yama-sen Ken, he only possessed a real chance of victory if Ranma hadn't been equally vigilant in improving his own skills (a difficult thing to do when one was stuck in the city going to school every day) while Ryoga had been training.

However, with every day that passed with Ryoga searching for his hated foe, that potential advantage withered, and that had led to some uncomfortable thoughts.

Ryoga sighed wearily as he trudged through the forest, his heart heavy.

Was it possible, perhaps, that he never WOULD beat Ranma? That no matter how hard he trained, no matter how many exotic techniques he mastered, no matter what kind of terrain he fought in, that the pigtailed boy would continue to triumph?

What followed this idea was even more unpleasant; even if he DID beat Ranma, would it really matter? Putting aside the possibility of the Yagami fighter turning into a psychotic monster after losing and ripping him limb from limb, any victory over Ranma was likely to be temporary, and rather empty. Ranma may have been his hated rival, but it was the wretched, howling monster within Ranma that was the pigtailed boy's ultimate strength, and the personality responsible for a majority of Ryoga's suffering. Defeating Ranma normally would not only be difficult, but hollow. Beating his ruthless monster persona would complete his triumph, but was practically impossible.

And amidst all the doubts and frustration that the lost boy was struggling with, one other name kept surfacing in his thoughts: Akane.

He hadn't seen Akane in... well, he had no idea, really. Although he lived a double life as the girl's pet pig, he obviously didn't take that duty very seriously; Ranma's defeat had dominated every facet of his life, and it was more important to spend weeks honing his body in the mountains than to spend time getting to know the girl whose very memory made his heart beat faster.

'If I'm ever going to beat Ranma, I have to focus my mind, body, and spirit to the task,' Ryoga thought, his jaw tightening. 'There can be room for nothing else in my heart but revenge! ... But... what... what if revenge just isn't possible?'

The thought was devastating. 'I can't just give up! I've put so much of my life into destroying Ranma once and for all! That will all be for nothing!' Then he grimaced. 'But can I really go on trying to achieve something that will always be out of reach? What if I spend my whole **life** on revenge? It could all be for nothing! And... And, for the first time... I have something else. Something else I can turn to. Something just as-no, **almost** as important as bringing that bastard to justice. But if I give up on Akane forever, and still can't beat Ranma...'

"GAH!! This is hard! Damn you Ranma, this is all your fault!" Ryoga complained, throwing one fist to the side and slamming it into a tree. _Crack!_

The tree gave out a mighty shudder as the trunk split from the force of Ryoga's blow, and the portion above the point of impact slowly teetered over, its fall slowed by its many branches hitting the braches of other trees and snagging them on the way.

Ryoga gave a disgusted grunt as he pulled off a bandanna and used it to wipe his hand. "I don't know what to do anymore... What use is there in pursuing revenge against Yagami if I can't even FIND him? Should I give up after all?" He sighed. "If only there were some sort of sign..."

Looking down at his used bandanna, he blinked as he saw that it was covered in soot from his hand. That was unusual; after knocking down a tree, his hand was usually covered in bark or sap, or at worst, bugs from the hidden nest he had smashed into.

Glancing over at the tree he had knocked over, he blinked again when he saw "Ranma Yagami was here" seared into the trunk just above where he had struck it. Judging by the soot, Ryoga could guess with reasonable certainty that the pointless vandalism (not that he was in any position to complain about such things) had been committed within the past few days, at the latest.

"... Huh." Ryoga scratched the back of his head. "Well, they don't really make signs much clearer than that."

Hefting up his backpack, Ryoga readied himself and headed out once more.

* * *

"All right, crew! Time to get up!" Ranma shouted, standing in the middle of the camp with his hands on his hips. Behind him, Raven was already working over the purple blaze of the morning camp fire, frying some eggs.

Weak groaning came from two tents, though after a moment the tent that Tomas and Hashiru shared started shaking with activity.

"C'mon people, chop-chop!" The pigtailed boy demanded more forcefully, clapping his hands.

After a few more seconds, the boys' tent opened up, and Tomas stepped out, yawning, while Hashiru staggered out behind him.

Ranma nodded to both boys as they sat down, then frowned at Min's tent, which hadn't even budged. "Okay, then... better hurry up! If you're not up in five, you're gonna regret it!"

"Ughnn... yeah, yeah, I'll make breakfast," Min mumbled barely loud enough for the others to hear.

"Raven's already making breakfast," Hashiru noted, having barely woken enough to notice.

"... Who? Raven? We have a bird making lunch?"

"He's the Ninja guy," Ranma explained, pointless though it was.

"Ninja guy. Right. _Yawn!_" The tent started to shift as the kunoichi rolled out of bed. "Fine, fine. I'm coming. Don't start eating yet."

The men situated themselves around the central campfire, and Raven picked up the teakettle to fill it.

Ranma noticed the direction he was going and then shook his head. "Hey, Ninja guy! You can't get water from the spring; it drained overnight. Try the river."

Raven grimaced, as much from the form of address as the knowledge that he'd have to sprint all the way to the river to make tea.

"You should be using the river anyway," Tomas said as he cracked his neck. "Used bath water makes for lousy refreshments."

Raven winced at the thought, and nodded quickly in agreement before he vanished in a blur of motion.

Hashiru leaned back to stretch his legs, and then steadied himself on the log he was sitting on as Min trudged over to them. "So, first we eat, and then what?"

Ranma smirked. "Well, I thought we'd start off with Hashiru's idea and run a race through a landslide before we went swimming with weights on. You know, that way you get to wash up before lunch instead of waiting until evening. After lunch, I think I'll make the loser of the mountain race run a path through the forest while the others attack. After that, I think we'll find that cliff from earlier so I can teach you guys how to descend something like that safely... while someone's throwing fireballs down at you. Then we can call it a day."

The trainees all shared a glance silently. "Question," Hashiru said, raising his free hand (the other one was, as usual, in his pocket). "If we all jumped you right now and beat you into a coma, would that be proof that we don't need any more of this ridiculous training, allowing us to take the day off?"

Ranma blinked. "Uh... well... there's only one way to find out, I guess."

Even he was surprised by the speed and tenacity with which the three leapt at him from across the purple flames of the camp fire.

Unfortunately for his hapless students, they were far more surprised by the revelation that Ranma could manipulate his flames even when he wasn't touching them.

_FWOOSH!_ All three teenagers promptly lost focus as the camp fire suddenly flared up brilliantly, blowing gouts of violet flame into each of them. Although the burst of energy caused no significant damage and didn't have enough power to physically blast the fighters aside, it did obscure their vision and momentarily rob them of their focus.

_Thwap!_ Tomas, being the one out of the three who was fully awake, was the first to go, stumbling to his knees as he felt something strike his ankle at a carefully calculated angle. A second blow with the power of a sledgehammer struck him in the back of the neck, and he was officially too stunned to help his allies of the moment.

Min and Hashiru, in their groggy, early-morning state, nearly stumbled into each other as they breached the suddenly volatile camp fire, and neither of them could figure out why Ranma wasn't in front of them until they heard Tomas hit the ground a split-second later.

Min started to turn, but was too slow, and the kunoichi promptly had her arms seized behind her back before she could launch an attack.

Hashiru, who always put as much momentum as possible into his attacks, had already begun moving as soon as he realized where Ranma was. It did not occur to him until AFTER his fist plowed into Min's stomach that there might be someone else between him and his target.

"Oomph!" Min grunted heavily, feeling her body strain against Hashiru's strength.

As Hashiru staggered back in surprise, Ranma dropped one of Min's arms and then turned into a shoulder throw, tossing the Ninja girl back over the camp fire and onto Tomas.

"Ah... uhm... aw, shoot," Hashiru mumbled weakly as Ranma turned back toward him. "Er... I surrender?"

"And normally I'd accept," Ranma began, planting his hands on his hips and cracking his neck from side to side, "but the attack was your idea in the first place. So if I let you get off easy, then I'll have THEM whining all day long about it," he explained, pointing to the two Bogards lying in a heap.

Hashiru winced. "Oh... yeah, okay, that's a pretty good reason."

_THWAM!_

"Master Hashiru, I've-" Raven appeared in a sudden burst of dust and leaves, and the Ninja manservant twitched in annoyance as he saw his employer laying on the ground, smoke rising from his back. "Yagami-san, is it possible you could go a single day of this ordeal without rendering my master unconscious?"

Ranma shrugged as he rubbed his knuckles, which were themselves smoking slightly. "I'll try, but experience says no."

Raven snorted as he walked up to Hashiru and pulled him up into the sitting position. "Then at least have the decency to dispense such abuse during the actual training instead of beforehand. I can't imagine that this benefits anyone."

Ranma declined to mention that Hashiru had actually attacked him, instead turning to help Tomas up after Min staggered to her feet. "All right, whatever. Let's eat and then get to work. We have a lot to cover today, and you guys are already injured."

"If we were, hypothetically, knocked out completely like Hashiru is, would we get to sleep more, or would you just slap us awake?" Tomas asked as Ranma pulled him up.

Ranma raised an eyebrow. "Do you want to find out?"

"Awake! Awake! I'm entirely conscious, here!" Hashiru said suddenly, springing to his feet.

"Good. Now serve yourself," Ranma commanded as he scooped some eggs onto a paper plate.

The others promptly followed suit save Raven, who had eaten earlier, and Min, who was staring at Raven.

"So... wait... you're the Ninja guy Ranma mentioned? When did you get here?" She asked, obviously confused.

"I could explain, but there's little point to it," Raven said irritably as he placed the kettle on the fire and started steeping the tea.

Min frowned, and then shrugged. "Okay, if you say so. Do you at least have a real name?"

"No, he's just 'Ninja guy'," Ranma piped up, much to the aforementioned Ninja's annoyance.

Min frowned more deeply as she mulled that over. "Wow... I think I'll avoid a future career as a family servant; it sounds really degrading."

Raven sighed as he waited patiently for the tea to reach a boil, noting ruefully that Hashiru hadn't said a thing during the entire exchange. "I don't have it so bad. There was one spritely little fellow I knew from my advanced training session that landed an especially difficult assignment working for the Kuno family."

Min chuckled as she chewed on a clump of egg whites. "Yeah, that does sound bad. I guess you lucked out, huh Ninja guy?"

Ranma blinked. "Did... Did you just go a full three sentences without forgetting he existed?"

"Who? Ninja guy? Why would I forget about him in the middle of speaking to him?"

Tomas and Hashiru stared at the spectacle, unsure of what to make of it all.

"So, she can finally remember him..." Tomas mumbled, pouring himself some tea.

"... But why doesn't it feel like the situation has improved?" Hashiru finished, popping a fried egg into his mouth.

"Let me assure you, I'm thrilled at the prospect of enjoying the rest of the weekend without you constantly asking who I am," Raven snapped at the other Ninja. "It's particularly refreshing that I'm more memorable to you as a nameless henchman than as an individual. Now, if you please, go back to ignoring me."

Min snorted at the man's attitude, and turned her head away as she continued eating. "Hmph! Maybe we should call you **Grumpy** Ninja guy instead."

"You can call him Count Tiddlywinks for all I care, as long as I don't have to try and explain who he is anymore," Hashiru mumbled in-between bites.

"Master Hashiru, please don't given them any more ideas..."

Ranma shoveled down his portion of the food, and then stood up, tossing his plate and chopsticks into the fire. "All right people, that's enough chit-chat! Finish eating and let's get to work!"

* * *

Far away from the senseless physical abuse that the Yagamis liked to call training, another young, hapless martial artist was undergoing emotional abuse that was similarly disguised.

_Shkak!_

Standing in the middle of a quarry pit, Shampoo huffed gently from her recent exertion, the air around her absolutely frigid.

All around her were blocky, blunted spikes of ice that had emerged from the ground at her feet, jutting away from her body at haphazard angles. The smaller ones cracked apart and fell almost immediately, and then the larger ones slowly followed suit, trembling mightily as the ki energy holding them together dissipated.

The "ki ice," upon hitting the ground, instantly collapsed into a puddle of water, which itself shrunk and then completely evaporated in the space of two seconds; within moments, only the sharp, jagged ruts in the ground that circled Shampoo gave any indication of the seemingly impossible stunt.

"That was pathetic."

Shampoo rolled her eyes, which was pretty much the most volatile reaction she could manage within the soul of ice.

Shower hopped down from the large rock she had been sitting on, her expression as annoyed as ever. "Assuming you're going to be using these techniques against someone tougher than the average six year-old, you'll have to taper the individual spikes to a point if you want to do any damage. With the amount of force you put into the ki forms when you create them, that trick won't be good for much besides parties otherwise."

The younger Amazon gave her a leaden stare. "Shampoo only been at technique for hour."

"And that's one hour I could have spent carving up this quarry for profit instead of watching you rough up the floor for no reason."

Shampoo sighed and turned away from the old woman, tuning out her ramblings; though her initial instincts had always been to fight back against her instructor (verbally, at least), the experience of living with the woman, plus the artificial calm instilled in her, had eventually worn down the impulse. For the most part, all she could usually manage was one half-hearted comment to defend her competence before she simply gave up and let her teacher trample her dignity.

"**Setsuben chuu**!" Shampoo shouted suddenly, facing the nearest quarry wall, and a cloud of crackling, frosty mist enveloping her fist as she reared it back.

_CRACK!_ As her fist impacted the stone, the outer layer promptly buckled and cracked deeply before ice spread rapidly over the impact point, filling the ruptures and covering the rough-hewn surface of the rock in a meter-long radius around her hand.

"You know, it's much more effective if you freeze the rock, and THEN shatter it," Shower said, looking bored.

Shampoo stepped back, watching the area of the rock she had just struck. Unlike when she used her ki to create large blocks of ice from nothing but the minute amount of moisture in the air, freezing something with her ki wasn't so objectionable to the laws of nature, and as a result the ice tended to melt much more slowly.

"So what Shampoo do to freeze rock first?" She asked calmly, her breath emerging as a faintly visible mist.

"First of all, draw a mental line from your fist to your target ahead of time," Shower snapped impatiently. "If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times: cold isn't a type of energy to pummel an opponent with. It's a LACK of energy. Once you have a mental path mapped out for your attack, the spread of your aura will drain the heat from that object while you approach. By the time you hit your target, the first layers of ice crystals should be in place just in time for you to break them. Now try it again. Only this time, actually THINK before you act."

Shampoo nodded mutely, and then concentrated as she turned toward a boulder near the side of the quarry.

"**Hyouchuu**..." She whispered, a sudden cyclone of icy mist enveloping her and freezing the ground below.

"**Shoukegi**!" Shampoo suddenly burst forward like a bullet, raising one leg into a roundhouse kick as the other one carried her body across the length of the pit, spraying a wave of crushed ice behind her.

_SHKRACK!!_ The boulder was utterly pulverized as Shampoo's leg cut through it, the ice from her aura seeping into the minute fractures of the stone and widening them mere nanoseconds before the Amazon's foot smashed the weakened rock to bits.

Unfortunately for Shampoo, while her execution of the kick was flawless, the other component to the technique, being the sheet of ice she was moving on, was not so easy to control, and she continued sliding forward on one leg even as she passed the demolished boulder, a thick trail of rapidly melting ice marking her path on the ground.

_Wham!_ "Oomph!"

Shower's eye twitched at the sight, and she sighed at the heap of Amazon plastered against the partially frozen wall of her quarry.

Shampoo remained where she was for a moment, making sure that she had a decent footing before she gently pulled herself out of the Shampoo-shaped impression in the rock. "Ah... that... that one need work."

"You think so, too? I'm glad to see that you can see a problem when it literally smacks you in the face," Shower deadpanned. "Now turn on the aura, girl. I want to check something."

Shampoo wasted no time hesitating, and a thin hissing sound filled the air as a fine white mist seemed to wrap itself around the teenage Amazon, sucking the heat from the surrounding air.

Within moments, the purple-haired girl was encompassed in a glimmering corona of brilliant blue, and frost spread from the soles of her feet to crawl slowly across the ground around her.

And then, Shower threw a bucket of water on her.

_Ssssshk!_ The water seemed to freeze instantly upon touching the young woman, who didn't even have time to blink before she was totally wrapped in ice.

Shower stepped back, nodding as she admired the scene; she had put a good amount of force into the swing, so the water had frozen with an intriguing "splash effect," with rough tendrils of ice curling over Shampoo's body, trapped in the throes of momentum and gravity.

Shampoo wasn't in a mood or position to appreciate Shower's artistic achievement, however, and the ice started shaking before it sudden burst outward like a grenade.

"What you think you doing?!" Shampoo growled, whipping around as bits of shattered ice slowly fell to settle in her long, purple hair.

The older Amazon shrugged. "What? I just wanted to check on the strength of your aura."

Shampoo grit her teeth, glancing around for wherever she had put down her bonbori. "And there no other way than throw water at Shampoo?"

"Well, of course there is," Shower said bluntly. "But I also wanted to throw something at you, so this way I took care of everything at once."

Shampoo's aura, formerly a glittering, gentle blue, now blazed a wrathful red as thoughts of cruelty and mayhem flitted through her mind.

Shower, aware that the unstable side-effects of the soul of ice could lead Shampoo to do something she would definitely regret, decided to calm the girl down to keep her from breaking a blood vessel. "Did you notice that you were just splashed with cold water while maintaining human form?"

Shampoo hadn't noticed that, and the sudden shock of the revelation caused her anger to evaporate. "Ah? You right!"

Shower nodded. "I'm sure that if you hadn't been knocked around in the head so much during your youth you would have realized this before now, but with a sufficiently powerful aura - and you have a LOT of power in your aura, even if you don't make much use of it - the soul of ice will freeze water instantly. As in, before it touches your precious, cursed skin."

The younger Amazon nodded, far too excited to care about the casual insult. "Then Shampoo not be cat anymore?"

"Well, I wouldn't go that far. There are certainly limitations to the ability. For one thing, you need to have a good supply of energy ready to use it, and you'd probably have to be expecting to get splashed," Shower offered. "And it's not always better to freeze all the water around you than it is to simply change forms. If you were to, say, get thrown in the ocean, for example, you'd just trap yourself in an ice block and then float away. I really think you'd prefer to just turn into a cat."

Shampoo nodded, and then bowed deeply to the elderly Amazon. "Shampoo too, too grateful! Thank you for all you do for Shampoo!"

Shower snorted. "Yeah, yeah, great. Now get out."

Shampoo stood up straight again, a confused look on her face. "What you mean?"

"I mean beat it. Get out of here. Vamoos. Scram. Skeddadle. Make like a tree. Though that last one only makes sense in English. You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here."

The violet-tressed Amazon frowned uncertainly. "Why... Why you throw Shampoo out? Shampoo make mistake?"

"Shampoo make lots of mistake," Shower said mockingly, "but that's not why you're leaving. Shampoo, you're essentially proficient in every technique I've created; there's no purpose in you remaining under my tutelage any longer."

Shampoo just stared at the elder blankly, who sighed.

"Sorry, I'll speak barbarian for you: you know all my moves, and I'm pretty sure you're at least as sick of me as I am of you," Shower snapped. "There isn't much I can do for you anymore except annoy you and repeat the same lessons to you over and over. You need practice before you truly master everything, but as of now you've officially graduated. Congrats."

Shampoo let out a sigh of relief. "Is true? Shampoo finish training?"

"I'm pretty sure I just answered that, and I really am trying to hurry this along," Shower deadpanned. "My soaps are on in ten minutes. So let's dispense with the long goodbyes and-"

The elderly warrior didn't get her wish, as she was suddenly enveloped in a joyful Amazonian hug.

"Thank you too, too much! Shampoo grateful for help!" The violet-haired girl cried, a joyful tear leaking out of the corner of her eye (she really had been looking forward to leaving, after all).

"Oof! Okay, okay! Just-ergh!-let GO of me already, you... uhn..." Shower gulped as she realized that the "hug" was steadily getting tighter, and that she was losing feeling in her arms. "Sham... Shampoo..."

Shampoo was still smiling as she pinched a nerve cluster on her ex-teacher's back, forcing the woman to her knees. "Shampoo think you have this coming long time, yes?"

"I regret nothing!" The old woman growled out in defiance right before Shampoo smashed an elbow down onto her head, knocking her to the ground in a daze.

"Aiyah! That feel good!" Shampoo said cheerfully, smiling brightly as she turned toward Shower's house and skipped away to get her backpack.

"Uuugh..." The elder Amazon twitched on the ground painfully as she recalled the **other** reason why she had never sought to leave Japan and go back to her family in the backwater regions of China.

Sure, she may have been a disgraced champion and a laughingstock, but even the Amazon elders wouldn't have driven her out for that reason alone. No, her unofficial exile from the village had far more to do with her grating, sarcastic personality (and the related fact that very few trainees were willing to put up with her during training) than her making a mistake and getting married to a woodsman.

There was a reason she preferred Japan to her native land, after all. "Stupid, nosy, stubborn, good-for-nothing, backward tribesmen," she growled out, "I should have known better than to-"

_Whump!_ Shower was cut off abruptly as Shampoo stomped on her back.

_Thud! Thump! Clomp!_ Shampoo continued kicking and stomping the downed Amazon, a wide, cheerful smile on her face the entire time.

After planting a about a dozen more footprints on the old woman's back, Shampoo backed away and then walked off, waving behind her as she left.

"Bai bai! Thank for everything! Shampoo never, ever come back!" the teenage warrior promised, skipping off into the distance.

Shower coughed up some dust that Shampoo had kicked up in her needless abuse, and then sighed, a bizarre trace of melancholy crossing her aged features.

"And yet... I'm actually going to miss that girl."

After all, even if she was clueless, single-minded, self-centered and stubborn, Shampoo could cook a meal fit for a king.

"I guess it's back to oatmeal and dry venison for me. Blech."

* * *

Much later that evening, Ranma found himself roused from his sleep by the call of nature, and quietly slipped out of his sleeping bag to prepare for a midnight bathroom break.

Slipping on his pants and shoes, but not bothering to put on a shirt, Ranma gently unzipped his tent door and then slipped through the camp site without a sound.

Once he reached the woods on the side of the camp opposite his tent, he lit a small, glimmering flame on the tip of his pointer finger to light the way as he tried to find the area that Raven had fashioned into a wilderness lavatory (although he'd never admit it to Hashiru, he was actually really glad that the wealthy brawler had ended up bringing a manservant to handle all the unpleasant, menial chores).

It didn't take long to find the spot, and Ranma quickly took care of business before zipping back up and heading straight back to camp.

"Augh! Ooooh..."

The pigtailed boy halted immediately at hearing someone's voice beyond the trees, further away from camp.

"Hey! Who's there?" Ranma shouted, dashing through the brush toward the voice.

When he cleared the foliage obstructing his vision, Ranma promptly ground to a halt. "Min? What are you doing here?"

The Ninja girl looked to be in fairly rough shape, and was holding one arm as it hung limply at her side. All around her, numerous warfans were lodged in the trees, some of them surrounded by scorch marks and streaks of ash.

Ranma would have been alarmed at her physical state, except that she didn't look much worse than she had when everyone had finished their training and gone to bed. Heck, he was directly or indirectly responsible for most of her injuries in the first place.

Min chuckled weakly as she let go of her arm, though it still hung limp. "Well, I was just... I was trying to get a move down, is all."

"A move?"

"Yeah," Min looked troubled as she stared at the fans embedded in the trees around her. "It came to me when I was chasing Tomas through the forest, actually, but I was wondering what was stopping me from lighting all my fans on fire when I throw them, instead of just restricting that to my top techniques; I have the ki for it, and I don't lack the control, either."

Ranma nodded and approached her, obviously fascinated by the topic of improving on a basic weapons technique to make it unnecessarily flashy and volatile. "And? What's stopping you?"

"My arm, mostly," Min grumbled, sliding down to her knees in exhaustion. "It got bruised pretty bad when that boulder hit me this morning, and I haven't been able to put much stress on it without hurting myself."

Ranma promptly started shaking his head sadly, much to the kunoichi's annoyance. "You got such a serious injury from that? Geez, we really need to take these trips more often if we're going to toughen you up at all."

Min glared at him. "In MY school of martial arts, we're taught that boulders are terrain features, not projectiles."

Ranma grinned and crossed his arms over his bare chest. "In MY school of martial arts, we're taught that there's no difference between the two." Min groaned at the explanation. "Besides, Hashiru got hit by WAY more boulders than you did, and his arm was fine."

"If Hashiru shoved his arm into a running wood chipper, I'm pretty sure the machine would break apart before it even broke skin," Min mused. "But anyway, I'm trying to get this technique down, and you're not helping. Go back to bed, already."

Ranma rolled his eyes. "Fine, I'll help. Let's find a place for you to lie down."

Min blinked. "Lie down? Why?"

Ranma smiled as he pointed to a log on the edge of the small clearing. "Come on, I'll give you a back rub. You'll feel much better afterwards, I promise."

The kunoichi hesitated for a moment, but then relented after she thought about it for a moment. She didn't really think that Ranma would give particularly pleasing massages, but she had no reason not to give it a chance. Besides, given that their camping trip was almost over, this was probably the last chance for a semi-intimate moment with her boyfriend before she returned to the watchful gaze of her father.

They walked over to the log, and Ranma stamped on it lightly with his foot to test it's stability. "Yeah, this is good." Then he backed up behind Min. "Take your top off and then lay down over it."

Min moved to obey immediately, then hesitated.

Frowning, she looked back at Ranma. "Say, this isn't some kind of slick seduction technique Hashiru taught you, is it? If so, then you're not getting any on principle, no matter how hot this is."

"Would you relax?" Ranma requested, annoyed. "I gave up on asking people for advice on girls after the date coaching thing. I'm not gonna try anything funny, I promise."

Satisfied by the answer, Min brazenly stripped her shirt and bra off and dumped them to the side. Then she squatted next to the log and leaned over the side of it, holding herself up with her elbows.

Ranma flushed slightly as he cracked his knuckles, staring at Min's bare back and wishing that he had bothered to put on a shirt. 'I'm glad nobody else is around to see this. Otherwise, I don't think I'd ever hear the end of it.'

Min was very surprised when, instead of feeling Ranma pounding into her back with slightly less force than he'd use to knock her out, she instead felt a feather-light touch of warmth spread over the small of her back and then slowly spread out over her shoulderblades.

"Ooh... wow..." she cooed happily, feeling the pressure of Ranma's fingers increase slightly as he moved up to her shoulders.

"Don't hold your breath or anything," Ranma ordered as he started kneading Min's muscles, "just relax as much as possible and breathe normally."

"O-Okay," Min stuttered, shivering slightly as the warmth over her back gave ground to the cool night air. "Ahhh... where did you learn to do this? You MUST have been taught."

"Well, I learned most of it from my mom, actually," Ranma admitted as his hands moved back down to rub Min's lower back. "She'd give my dad muscle rubs all the time, and taught me how to do it. Not that I ever ended up giving Pops a massage, but she thought it would be good to know for some reason." Now that he thought about it, Nodoka had always instructed him using the assumption that he was massaging a girl, and had also taught him about a few other points on the female body that were not valid areas to touch during a back massage. Yet another oddity from the inner sanctum of the Yagami household.

"Anyway, during the training trip, I met some monks who taught me a thing or two about pressure points. They see a lot of martial artists and teach them about it, but most of the pressure points they study can't really be used in a fight, so there's a lot there that most travelers never see," the pigtailed boy explained. "I spent a bit longer there to learn some of the good stuff; points to loosen muscles, stop internal bleeding, re-align bones, that sort of thing."

Min made a generally positive-sounding moaning noise, while mentally noting that most of the throbbing in her body and her arm in particular had abated. "Oh... uhhh... and you're not-uhn... out of practice by now?"

Ranma shrugged. "Well, I didn't really get to use it a lot until the Amazon village. I used to give Shampoo massages all the time."

Min frowned at that as dozens of implications assailed her, but shrugged them off. "Hey, Ranma?"

"Eh?"

"Why is it that I make you so nervous, anyway?" Min asked seriously.

"Nervous?" Ranma said, blinking. "I don't follow."

"Oh, come on," the Ninja girl scoffed. "I mean, I appreciate that you can think with your head instead of your other head, but we all have urges, you know? Half the time I feel like you're not even attracted to me, and I have a hard time sorting out the signals."

Ranma gulped, not liking where this conversation was going at all. Talking about his feelings was hard enough, and as this was all within the context of a romantic relationship, he was wondering if he should just revert to Tomas rules and try and fib his way through the questioning.

"Well... sure I'm attracted to you! Anybody would be!"

Min frowned slightly. "That's good to know, but it still doesn't explain why you balk every time we touch, or I make a suggestive comment, or you see me naked. In everything else, you're either perfectly confident, or stubbornly indifferent. Why does sex freak you out?"

'This is bad. Very, very bad,' Ranma thought, pondering his escape routes. 'Maybe if I ditch her again, we'll just have a little chase and she'll just enjoy herself and forget all about it like last time? Yeah! I can even pretend it was part of the trainin-'

"I mean, I like you, Ranma. I like you a lot," Min admitted bluntly, causing the martial artist to freeze in his thoughts even as his hands kept working. "I mean, it was all a stupid, self-centered infatuation at first, because you were the biggest, toughest fighter around, I admit it. And then I found out that you turned into a girl. But there's a lot more to you than that; you're not only strong, you're reliable. You'll help people because you can, without expecting anything back. And you hang out with me because you like who I am, and not just my cleavage. I didn't know how much I appreciated that kind of attitude until I'd realized that I didn't feel a thing for Hashiru, even though he's well-built and rich and charismatic and he beat me even faster than you did."

Ranma continued massaging Min's shoulders, his legs frozen in place. No way he could run after an admission like **that**.

"Don't get me wrong, you have your flaws too, and they're pretty out there," Min admitted hastily. "You've definitely got a powerful hero complex, and I have to admit that it still weirds me out when you're a girl. I don't play for both teams, you know what I mean?"

Ranma had no clue what she was talking about, but as silence seemed to be working so far, he didn't bother to let her know that.

"Anyway, I'm pretty sure that I'm ready to move past the 'nervous stuttering and holding hands' stage, and I'm a little worried that you're not," Min finished, craning her neck so that she could at least get a sidelong glance at her boyfriend.

'Well, there's no getting out of it now,' Ranma thought, gently moving his hands back down to the small of her back.

Actually, there WAS the knockout pressure point easily within reach that would cause Min to instantly fall asleep and probably forget this entire encounter, but he was saving that for "Plan B".

"It's... It's really hard for me to say," Ranma admitted, looking rather distressed as he worked on Min's lower back. "I didn't grow up like most people did. I didn't really know any girls besides my sister. And I didn't even get to watch her grow up; most of my memories of her are from when she was much younger."

Min waited patiently for him to continue, dashing his hope that she'd accept a mindlessly vague generalization about his life.

"So... when I was growing up, I kind of had this fighter's mindset. Like everyone else was just a possible opponent. I never thought of girls as... well, girls. Until recently, I never even thought about dating or kissing or sex or anything. I just thought of them like guys, but weaker and with weird parts that could get in the way during a fight."

"You think girls are weak?" Min asked dangerously.

"Don't start," Ranma deadpanned, "I'm over it now. Anyway, then the curse comes along. A lot of people like to try and tell me it's not a big deal, to try and make me feel better, but they don't know. It IS. Not because I'm weaker, or because I'm less of a man, or even because guys hit on... well, that last one is kind of a big deal, I guess. At least when Kuno is involved."

Ranma shook his head briefly, having lost his train of thought. "Right. But changing genders... it's **weird**. You start to think differently. You react differently. I **feel** different. They're not good feelings, either. I keep thinking that maybe the curse is turning me into a different person."

Finally, the pigtailed boy sighed and stood up, pulling his hands away from Min's back. "Maybe it's a cop-out, but every time I start looking at a girl's body, I just get the same creeping feeling, like when I look at my girl body sometimes, and it's... confusing. So... I guess that's why you make me nervous sometimes. I do like you, Min. But I'm just... not really comfortable with... that sort of thing. Yet."

Min stood up and arched her back, stretching her arms behind her head as her hair swung gently in the light forest breeze. The soreness in her arm and body was now just a memory, and the sharp stinging that had plagued her bicep every time she tried to move her right arm had been reduced to a slight numbness.

After taking a few seconds to enjoy the rejuvenation of her body, the Ninja girl whirled around and suddenly embraced Ranma around the neck, causing him to freeze in surprise as she smiled up at him (not least because her bare chest was suddenly pressing against his).

"That was wonderful," Min said happily, one hand playing with Ranma's pigtail. "And not just the massage."

"Eh? Wh-Whaddya mean?" Ranma stuttered out.

"We just had a sensible, mature, adult conversation about our feelings," Min elaborated. "We did something together that doesn't involve any violence, and as a result, we understand each other better and have become better people."

Ranma blinked repeatedly, mulling that over in his head.

"I feel dirty," he deadpanned.

Min giggled and then sighed softly, her warm breath reaching Ranma's lips from their proximity. "Well, I can't do much about you turning into a girl, but if one of your problems is lack of experience, I can CERTAINLY help you with that. Lesson one: making out. Are you ready?"

"Now might be a bad time, actually," Ranma mumbled, looking irritated.

Min snorted. "I'm emotionally satisfied, mostly naked, and just got up from ten solid minutes of you rubbing me all over. What could possibly make this a bad time?"

"RANMA YAGAMI, PREPARE TO DIE!!"

The scream of fury blasted through the forest like a shock wave, and the teenage couple found themselves rooted to the spot, almost paralyzed, as a large boy wearing a familiar bandanna charged out from among the trees in a berserker rage, his combat umbrella poised to crush his target into paste.

That berserker rage evaporated rather quickly, as did the lost boy's momentum, as he approached Ranma and Min; right after bursting from the bushes, his sprint became a jog, and within a meter of the pair, he stumbled to a complete stop, his face transitioning from red with anger to red with embarrassment.

Min's eyebrow twitched. "Ah. I see."

"Told ya," Ranma mumbled. "Min, this is Ryoga Hibiki. He wants to kill me. Ryoga, this is Min Bogard, my girlfriend."

Ryoga gulped, his umbrella still hovering just inches above Ranma's temple. Luckily, Min was holding Ranma closely enough to keep her breasts mostly concealed, or Ryoga would have been unconscious before he had even completed his first attack.

"Uh... am I interrupting something?" Ryoga said hesitantly.

"What does it look like, you dolt?" Min screeched, completely livid at this point.

Ryoga flinched back, putting his umbrella down. "Well, I've been searching for Ranma for weeks so that I can defeat him once and for all. Can this wait?"

Ranma started massaging his forehead as Min seethed, her aura springing up around her.

"Get lost, freak!" Min snarled, suddenly breaking from Ranma and springing toward Ryoga in a shoulder charge, a huge fireball encompassing her body.

Ryoga was surprised, but had been training and preparing extensively to fight a flame-wielding opponent, and so was not caught off-guard. Opening his new, flame-retardant umbrella, he shielded himself from the girl's charge and was barely singed before he shoved back from behind his weapon, knocking her away.

Min did a quick backflip, and then snapped her hands forward repeatedly, putting the remnants of her energy into a rage-fueled warfan barrage. "**Sui chou no mai**!"

Ryoga growled as the three blazing projectiles approached, and closed his umbrella before lashing out with it like a spear, stabbing into each weapon and breaking it into harmless shards of burning paper and steel.

_Shtang!_ Once the last fan was crushed, he drove the head of his weapon into the ground and glared at his new enemy before opening his mouth to speak.

_Thud!_

Min blinked as Ryoga hit the ground, comatose, a trail of blood oozing from his nose. "Wait... What just happened?"

"_Ahem_!" Ranma cleared his throat as he held Min's shirt out to her, staring out in the opposite direction from the Ninja girl.

Min sighed as she took the shirt and slipped it on. "I swear, you people need therapy or something. Getting hit by a boulder is just a workout, but you see a pair of jugs and you faint?"

"Yeah, yeah, it's weird. Are we about done here?" Ranma asked, slipping his hands into his pockets. He really didn't want to be around Ryoga any longer than he had to. While time and the extensive punishment doled out on the lost boy had largely erased Ranma's anger at Ryoga's frightening the hell out of his sister (twice), Ryoga had still managed to pull himself off of Ranma's list of "friends who I beat up on occasion" and onto his list of "idiots to be avoided or knocked out whenever they open their mouths".

Min shrugged and started walking back to camp dejectedly, obviously disappointed that the mood had been shattered like that.

Ranma made to follow, when he felt a hand grab his leg.

"W-Wait..."

The pigtailed boy stopped, but didn't turn to regard Ryoga. "You have ten seconds, Ryoga. Then, if you're still touching me, I burn that hand off."

Ryoga let go, but if he was intimidated by the threat, he didn't show it. "I challenge you, Yagami! Right here, tomorrow morning!" He had intended to fight right away originally, but obviously that plan was shot to hell. Why did Ranma's girlfriends like to flash every guy who happened to stumble into them, anyway? It was just plain indecent!

Ranma snorted, still not turning around. "My training trip is over, porky. I don't need any more light workouts. But thanks for offering."

Ryoga's rage bubbled over, and he pushed himself to his feet. "Fight me, Yagami! Fight me now, or I'll hound you forever until you do! Let's settle this quickly, like men!"

Ranma groaned loudly, rubbing his forehead again. "All right. FINE. If it'll remove one person from the list of idiots who keep interrupting every time I'm alone with Min, I'll beat you all you want tomorrow. Just make sure you don't go anywhere; I'm not gonna search all over the mountain just so I can kick your piggy butt."

"Wild tigers couldn't budge me from this spot, Yagami!" Ryoga snarled. "Make your sad little jokes while you can! Soon, I'll-"

"Yeah, okay, that's great. I get it," Ranma interrupted, taking a moment to yawn. "Look, it's really late, and I only got up to go to the bathroom in the first place. Can we save your stupid melodrama for tomorrow?"

Ryoga was silent for a long moment, and then he sat down. "Fine. Be that way. Jerk."

"Thanks. 'Night, pig boy," Ranma mumbled, walking off toward the camp site.

Ryoga glowered silently, his grip tightening around the handle of his umbrella. "Soon, Yagami. Soon you will see the fruits of my sweat, blood, and-"

Before he could complete that thought, a purple fireball streaked across the ground, slamming into the lost boy's back and sending him jumping into the air, howling in pain.

"I'm serious! Knock it off!" Ranma shouted from beyond the trees.

Ryoga considered shouting something back, but decided to relent. He'd get his chance tomorrow. Tomorrow, everything would come to fruition, whether he was destined for victory or doomed to failure.

Smirking slightly, Ryoga Hibiki drifted off to sleep, dreaming of carnage and revenge.

End Chapter 18

**Hyouchuu shoukegi** - Icicle crash: a speeding kick that ices the ground beneath the user's feet to make maximum effect of the sudden burst of speed. Has superior power, but requires tremendous agility to use effectively. 


	19. Burning Earth

Omake!

"This..." Ranma said imperiously, lifting his hands, "is the objective for today: PIE!"

"Ehhhh?" Hashiru, Tomas and Min all sweatdropped as they stared at the steaming hot dessert Ranma was holding up.

"That's right. Pie! Since threat of punishment doesn't seem to work as well as I'd like, I've decided to use a reward system instead!" Ranma explained, nodding as he continued holding the pie aloft. "So who wants pie? Huh? Huh?"

"I could live without it," Tomas mumbled tiredly, pulling his cap down over his eyes.

"Depends what kind it is," Hashiru offered, shrugging noncommittally.

"Why pie and not cake?" Min muttered, frowning.

A vein popped up on Ranma's head. "What if I said you're not getting any other dinner tonight?"

The other three martial artists flinched. "Wh-What?!"

"That's unfair! You said you were using a reward system!" Tomas declared, standing up and clenching a fist before him.

"Am I or am I NOT holding a pie?!" Ranma shouted back. "Now line up already!"

After some muffled grumbling, the other martial artists got in a line before their trainer, standing at attention.

"A critical part of martial arts involves training not the body, but rather the mind!" Ranma barked, pacing back and forth in front of the others.

"Oh, are we doing meditations today?" Min asked hopefully. It would be a nice change of pace from being beaten and otherwise abused to within an inch of her life.

"I was going to do something like that, yes," Ranma said, stopping as he rubbed his chin. "But then I realized that I'd have no way to declare a winner to award the pie. I mean, what, am I gonna judge how clear your mind is or something? That's stupid."

"Well, the flow of ki could-" Tomas began before Ranma planted a foot in his face.

"Yes, it's stupid, I know," Ranma clarified, putting his leg down as the American boy rubbed his nose. "So instead of meditations, we're going to have a quiz!"

"A quiz," Hashiru deadpanned. "And this is supposed to be LESS stupid than meditation."

Ranma shot the brawler an annoyed look, and then stepped in front of him. "Well, since Mr. Rough n' Tumble Rich Boy here thinks he's so smart, we'll start with him!"

The pigtailed boy cleared his throat as Hashiru sighed, accepting his fate. "First question! Who's your favorite old tournament fighter? We're talking the 90's, here."

"Eh?" Hashiru frowned at the absurd question, being fairly certain that a quiz was supposed to test knowledge of facts, not gather opinions. "Hmm. Well, that's an easy one. Mai Shiranui." He flashed Min a thumbs-up as he said this, prompting the Ninja girl to roll her eyes.

"WRONG!" Ranma suddenly shouted, much to Hashiru's surprise and confusion. "The correct answer was 'Iori Yagami'."

"What? You just wanted me to praise your old man?"

Ranma frowned. "Well, I guess I would've accepted Ryuuji Yamazaki too..."

"WHAT? I hate my dad!" Hashiru shouted angrily.

"Oh. You do?" Ranma asked. "Sorry, I probably should've known that. It's just that your character is so shallow and predictable, it's hard to really care about your backstory."

Ranma immediately moved on to Tomas, leaving Hashiru fuming angrily behind him. "Tomas! Second question! What is the approximate carrying capacity of a fifteen pound piglet?"

Tomas sweatdropped. "What's with these questions? And why are you using pounds instead of kilograms?"

"I don't know; why is this text written in English instead of Japanese?" Ranma asked snidely. "Answer the question."

"Uhm... ten pounds?" The American asked, shrugging.

Ranma quickly turned around, and then raced off through the trees.

After a few seconds, he stopped on the edge of a clearing, peeking over the bushes to view what lay beyond.

_Krrrrrk!_ "Bwee!" _Krrrrrk!_ Ryoga made several aggravated pig noises as he tugged hard on the chain around his neck, which was itself connected to a small boulder roughly ten times his side that he was dragging through the dirt behind him. A fairly long divot had already been dug through the dirt from his progress, and with each exertion the piglet dragged his load a bit further.

Ranma quickly ran back to the confused martial artists, and then shook his head. "Feh. Not even CLOSE."

Leaving Tomas to puzzle over that, Ranma moved on to Min. "This should be simple for you Min. What's the command input for your **kagerou no mai** attack?"

Min raised an eyebrow. "What? Command input? You mean, how do I do it? Well, you have to focus ki in the hands first, and then contact-"

"Wrong," Ranma said, looking quite disappointed. "It's charge down, then up plus kick. Geez, you should know this stuff!"

As Min's eyebrow twitched, he walked up to a tree past Min. "Hey, Ninja Guy! Get out here!"

"Yes?" Raven asked hesitantly, leaping down from the branches above. "What do you require?"

"If the quantity X plus 12 and divided by 3 is equal to 2 times the quantity X minus 8, what is the value of X?" Ranma said quickly, a smirk crossing his features.

Raven stared for several seconds. "Hmmm... twelve."

Ranma stared back for a moment before his expression soured. "You didn't show your work! No pie for you!"

"Ranma, do YOU want to eat the pie?" Min finally asked, rubbing her head.

"Well, it seems like I'll HAVE to eat it now! None of you even came close to the right answer!" Ranma complained, a little bit of drool coming from the corner of his mouth.

"But I got the right ans-" Raven flinched back mid-sentence as a yellowish gleam appeared in Ranma's eyes, and he quickly backpedalled. "I mean, Yagami clearly deserves the reward after having to suffer our repeated failures."

"That's what I'm saying!" Ranma said as he took out a knife and started cutting into the dessert. "Sorry guys, you're just not awesome enough for pie."

"Oh, just shut up and eat," Min said, sighing as the pigtailed man dug into his "reward".

"Wait, are we still not getting dinner?" Tomas asked nervously.

Hashiru gave a generic thumbs-up. "Well, enough of this, let's get to the real deal, shall we?"

"Lord Hashiru, who are you talking to?"

Yagami 1/2  
A Ranma 0.5/King of Fighters crossover  
by Black Dragon

Disclaimer: Man, being unemployed is good for my writing progress...

Notes: _Sounds_, **Emphasis or techniques**, 'Thoughts', "Dialogue"

Chapter 19  
Burning Earth

"Geez! What a mess!" Akane grumbled as she moved through the living room, stepping over empty bottles and take-out boxes scattered across the floor.

Nabiki shook her head as she stepped through after her sister. "Can't be helped. Not with that old creep hanging around and Kasumi out of the house." Nabiki didn't bother with stepping over the trash, simply stepping on the discarded articles or kicking them aside before she sat down at the table.

Akane took a moment to direct a withering glare down the hall, where she could barely make out the sound of an old, creaky voice singing happily. "Why doesn't Dad just kick him out, already?"

"Akane, you've kicked him out, literally, at least a dozen times so far. All it does is damage the house and give us a few minutes of peace. What do you think Daddy can do?"

"Can't he call the police or something?" the youngest Tendo asked, kicking away a sake bottle before sitting down across from Nabiki.

"You know that the police in Nerima aren't worth jack. Frankly, I'm impressed that Daddy sent Kasumi away to stay with aunt Moka across the city. I thought for sure he'd be more afraid of living without her than having her molested." Nabiki mumbled, taking out some books.

"Ho ho ho! Hello, girlies!" Shouted a joyfully lecherous voice as a certain panty-thieving martial arts master skipped into the living room. "How are we this fine morning?"

"We were much better before you appeared," Akane mumbled. "Also, what is with this room? Clean up after yourself!"

Happousai pouted as he bounced up onto the table in front of Akane. "What kind of thing is that to say to an honored guest? It's not like Soun cleans up his part, either!"

Akane clenched her teeth irritably as the aforementioned head of the Tendo household (officially, anyway) emerged from the kitchen, a stack of hot toast piled onto a plate.

"Ah, everyone's ready then! Let's eat!" Soun said happily, his voice cracking only slightly as he stepped over a puddle of sake that still hadn't evaporated from the previous night.

Akane sighed. "Toast again today?"

"What's the matter? I thought you were fine with toast," the Tendo patriarch said as he set the plate down on the table.

"But we've had it every morning since Kasumi left," Akane complained wearily.

"Well, it's cheap, fast, and easy to make, so even Daddy can get it right," Nabiki said, shrugging. "I mean, sure, we've been spoiled by Kasumi's food for a long time, but you have to recognize Daddy's limitations."

"That's why I said I'd make breakfast in the mornings!" Akane protested.

"And we refused," Nabiki deadpanned, "because you can't even manage decent toast."

"That's not true!" Akane protested. "It's just that the toaster always seems to go screwy when I'm making toast!"

"That's because you're supposed to put the spread topping on AFTER it's toasted," Nabiki snapped.

"What? How does that make a difference?"

Soun cleared his throat loudly as he took his piece of toast. "Now, now, everyone just calm down, please! Let's not start arguing first thing in the morning!"

"Yes, yes, sisters should get along, after all!" Happousai cackled, waiting until Soun had spread some butter on his own slice, and then taking Soun's toast right off his plate. "Ah, thank you Soun!"

A tear squeezed out of the corner of the eldest Tendo's eye as he nodded forlornly, taking another piece of breakfast.

"So. Happousai," Nabiki began, taking her own toast and taking up some jelly spread, "why is it that you're staying here, again? I mean, do you have anything to DO in Nerima, aside from underwear theft?"

Happousai took a bite of his toast and then looked up at the ceiling, his expression serious. "Actually, I do. You see, I intend to declare my heir and formally hand down the title of Grandmaster of the Anything-Goes school of martial arts!"

"Huh. Okay. So what's the hold-up?" Akane asked, genuinely surprised that the old pervert had any intentions beyond collecting women's underwear. "Does Dad need extra training or anything?"

"Don't be ridiculous!" Happousai scoffed, swallowing the last of his toast. "This fool is barely good for making breakfast! There's no way I'd make him heir!"

"What?" Akane asked, surprised. "Then... me?"

"I'm not going to dignify that with an answer," Happousai deadpanned, crossing his arms over his chest as Akane's face darkened.

"Ah, but then..." Soun frowned as he considered the subject. "You said that Saotome is no good, so that just leaves... Yagami? You're going to make Iori the heir?" He couldn't help but feel a great deal of relief at hearing that he would not be responsible for passing on Happousai's art.

"Close," Happousai said. "Iori... isn't the right type to carry on Anything-Goes. He's all raw power and cold ruthlessness. He isn't devoted to the art so much as he wants enough power to accomplish his goals. Not to mention he threatened to kill me if he ever saw me again."

"Yeah, I can see how that last bit might be a problem," Nabiki deadpanned.

"No, the one I have in mind is the son, Ranma." Happousai took another piece of toast from Soun's plate as the taller man finished buttering it, and took a quick bite before continuing. "He's young, and far more devoted to the art than Iori was. He's also got guts, unlike you and Genma. But most importantly..."

The Tendos sweatdropped as Happousai grinned disturbingly.

"Most importantly, his girlfriend has a world-class rack!" Happousai said jovially. "She could smother a man to death with those sweater kittens!"

Nabiki promptly flinched. When one mentioned breast size, one girl in particular always sprung to mind. "You mean Bogard? Since when was she his girlfriend?"

"I dunno the details, but last time I saw the little punk, she was right there with 'im, and it didn't seem like they were just walking home from school, if you know what I mean," Happousai chuckled lightly, and then his expression became more serious. "But that's beside the point. This Ranma kid's got what it takes. The only problem is he's got quite a bit more spine than he really needs."

"How much spine is just enough, then?" Akane asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Somewhere in the zone between your father's 'wet noodle' and his father's 'steel I-beam'," the old master mumbled, rubbing his chin. "He needs to have guts to take on the training, but can't have the guts to quit."

Akane's other eyebrow rose. "Why would it take more guts to quit the training than complete it?"

Soun sighed. "As dangerous as the advanced Anything-Goes training is, opposing the Master is far more perilous endeavor. To date, me, Genma and Iori are the only ones I'm aware of to have quit the training without being permanently injured or imprisoned."

"Wait..." Nabiki frowned. "Injured or... imprisoned?"

"Naturally such harsh and exotic training isn't always sanctioned by the narrow-minded fools that make this country's laws!" Happousai said regretfully.

"Plus, there's all the stealing," Soun added, sounding just as regretful.

"I think I'm starting to get a pretty good idea of why Dad didn't complete his training," Akane deadpanned. "So you want Ranma to do it, right? How do you figure that's going to happen?"

Happousai chuckled darkly. "Well now... for that, I have a secret weapon for drawing out Yagami. The Tendo-Yagami marriage arrangement!"

Nabiki's expression soured. "Yeah... hate to tell you, gramps, but that thing sort of fell through already."

"Well, I wouldn't say that, exactly," Soun countered, his stubborness emerging. "Er, it's more like, well, like we haven't really made any progress on the matter."

"Dad, he has a girlfriend now. I think it's best to leave well enough alone," Akane protested, wanting to finish the subject. She was quite happy that Ranma was out of her house and out of her life, but if the conversation kept going in this direction...

"That's a trivial concern, really," Happousai said, cackling as he pulled something out from behind his back. "You see, I have THIS!" the tiny old man brandished a rolled-up scrap of paper, holding it up as it slowly unrolled itself.

Nabiki leaned forward, her eyebrows rising as she skimmed over the document. "Wait... what? This is..." She glanced at Soun, who was scratching his head in confusion. "Daddy, was the engagement to the Yagami family a strictly verbal contract?"

"Hm? What do you mean?" Soun asked, drinking some tea. He was curious as to what the document said, but thought it best that Nabiki finished with it first.

"Did you just SAY that you were going to join the families, or did you actually write it down and sign it?" Nabiki asked calmly.

"Oh, we never bothered with that," Soun insisted. "It was a promise between men and comrades, Nabiki. That bond of honor is as worthy and iron-clad as any deal on paper!"

"Well, luckily, not everyone is so stupid and naive," Happousai scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest. "I found that document in Genma's place after I raided it for cash and booze. It looks like at least one of you put some actual thought into the future instead of twiddling your thumbs and waiting for everything to fall into place!"

Soun frowned. "What are you talking about? What is that?"

"This is a contract formalizing the engagement," Nabiki said in a carefully neutral tone. "It says that once any sons and daughters of the Tendo, Saotome, and Yagami families reach marriagable age, they'll be wed immediately to facilitate the joining of the Anything-Goes schools... among other things."

"Huh? You're kidding me!" Akane shouted in disbelief. "Dad, you actually signed a contract and everything?"

"No, he didn't," Nabiki said immediately, not giving Soun a chance to search his memory. "On that note, tell me Grandpa, did you forge these signatures at the bottom, or did Mister Saotome do it?"

"That was Genma's work, I imagine. Either that, or Soun and Iori were wasted off their rockers when they signed it!" Happousai confirmed, cackling. "But seriously, this is all Genma's work."

"I... I don't understand..." Soun mumbled, scratching his head. "Why would Saotome do this? He doesn't even have any children, does he?"

"Geez Daddy, use your head," Nabiki sighed. "Uncle Genma is pretty much penniless, right? No money, no family, no retirement, and no future. This contract would not only make the union more ironclad - or it would if not for the forged signatures - but it also guarantees the family dojo as a dowry."

"Eh?" Soun raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"Namely, if Uncle Genma DID manage to have a child, then he could use this to seal the deal," Nabiki explained further, "and suddenly, poof, he has a nice big house and dojo to help him through his golden years. Even if he had a daughter, given that he's the only one out of the three families that doesn't have a dojo, he's got nothing to lose and everything to gain."

"Ha! That's Nabiki for you! Sharp as ever!" Happousai crowed.

"What I don't understand is how this changes anything," Nabiki said, tossing the contract onto the table. "There's no way in hell anybody in the Yagami family will buy this farce, and it won't survive the courts, either. How is this scrap of paper going to be any more convincing than Daddy's whining?"

"You leave that part to me!" Happousai said, tapping the signature line of the contract as he turned to Soun. "For now, I need you to sign this for real; this chicken scratch of Genma's won't fool anyone!"

Soun frowned, but sighed and relented, taking out a pen and signing his name. "I don't really mind, as I want to join the schools anyway, but... what exactly are you planning, Master?"

"What I'm planning is to get that brat away from Iori and back here," Happousai snapped. "You don't need to know more than that." Then he frowned. "What you DO need to know is that even family honor and the law itself won't keep someone of Ranma's caliber tied down for long. We need more than just promises and hopes to make this work!"

"And what would that be?" Soun asked curiously.

"What're you, stupid?" Happousai shouted, shaking a tiny fist at his student. "You fool! There's only one thing that can keep a world-class martial arts champion in one place for long! It's the same thing that made you settle down, and even threw the mighty Iori off of that silly revenge kick against that Kusanagi guy!"

Happousai grinned. "We need to have a woman here waiting for him!"

"It doesn't seem like Ranma has any shortage of girls," Nabiki drawled, "what did you have in mind?"

"Oh, nothing much. Just make the sap feel welcome and treat him well, you know?" Somehow Akane got a bizarre feeling that Happousai was directing this request at her.

"If Ranma wants to leave, he'll leave, and I'm not sure I can stop him," Happousai admitted grudgingly, "so give him a decent reason to stay, and he'll stick around, either out of love, lust, or, failing everything else, guilt."

"Well, you can count me OUT," Akane said bluntly, standing up as she picked up her plate. "This whole idea stinks, and I sure don't want to be the one that has to put up with that pervert."

"On that note, what incentive does Ranma's 'blushing-bride-to-be' have to take part in this charade?" Nabiki asked as Akane entered the kitchen. "I mean, putting aside what we actually think of Ranma himself, you essentially want one of us to seduce him into staying here and putting up with your abuse under a totally bogus contract. Whether we like him or hate him, it's not that appealing, you know?"

"Ah... but Nabiki..." Soun said timidly, already beginning to flounder. Before he could say anything else, however, Happousai raised his palm to silence the larger man.

"My dear, whoever marries Ranma will have partial ownership of this house and dojo! A nice investment to have handed to you on a silver platter, eh?" The old lecher said, grinning.

Nabiki snorted. "Yeah, that's fine, but it's an awfully long-term benefit of a serious, lifelong commitment. You'll have to do better than that, especially with me; I don't plan on living the part of a timid housewife. If I don't have a house, I'll just buy one."

Soun's face turned stern. "That aside, this is a matter of family honor, Nabiki! On our family name, the Tendo and Yagami families must be joined!"

"Right. Honor. That and fifty yen will get you an apple down the street," Nabiki scoffed. "Besides, don't preach honor to me when we're discussing fraud, Daddy."

Soun wilted and Happousai frowned. After a few seconds, the diminutive old master finally shrugged.

"Well, if it comes down to that, I suppose you'll do it because the brainwashing is unpleasant and has some nasty side-effects," Happousai admitted, taking a puff on his pipe.

Nabiki's bored demeanor cracked slightly as her eye twitched. "Brainwashing?"

"Oh, Master, please, not that again!" Soun said as he started to sweat. "It took me months to relearn basic subtraction! And last I heard, Saotome STILL suffers paralysis every time he hears a gong!"

Nabiki's face darkened considerably.

"Still, if it's the only way..." Happousai mumbled, sighing. "Hmmm... I heard that there were some Amazons in the area. I think they might have something better than my usual technique. I don't want to cause any damage..."

"Well, you know, I guess it wouldn't be too bad to marry the poor sap," Nabiki said, trying to sound casual even as her pale face betrayed her emotions. "After all, with that curse of his, he's gotta be having trouble, right? And it's not like the paper contract is anything more than a formality, since the verbal one has already been confirmed..."

She continued rattling off rationalizations as she fought off the dread clawing at her stomach. Happousai was shallow, stupid, and foolhardy, but extremely dangerous, especially with his casual disregard for everyone but himself. More to the point, there was no one in the Tendo household that could stand up to the little old geezer; she couldn't count on her father to oppose his old master, and she couldn't count on Akane for more than a brief respite from Happousai's machinations. Actually, she couldn't really even count on that much; she had a powerful hunch that Happousai could evade her little sister easily if his focus was on something other than Akane's cleavage.

"Well, I'm glad to hear that!" Soun said happily, relieved that Nabiki wouldn't have to suffer any of Happousai's amateur hypnosis. "After all, joining the schools is for the best, don't you think? And I'm sure Ranma will take very well to the training!"

"I'm sure he'll whine and kick up a fuss the whole time, but he'll thank me when it's over!" Happousai said confidently, giving Soun a thumbs-up.

"Heh heh... yeah..." Nabiki chuckled weakly as she turned away from the pair. "I think I'm going to be ill..." she mumbled under her breath.

"What was that, Nabiki?" Soun asked.

"I said 'the kitchen's on fire'."

_FWOOOM!!_ "Ow! Stupid toaster!" Akane shouted angrily as a shower of sparks threatened to ignite her shirt.

"Akane! Hold on!" Soun shouted in a panic, dashing in after his daughter.

Nabiki sighed and stood up, ignoring the sounds of crashing pots and pans and the splash of water coming from the kitchen. "Well, this has been a fantastic way to start my Sunday. I'm going back to bed."

"Right after breakfast? My, kids today have no energy," Happousai mumbled as Nabiki ascended the stairs to her room. "Tsk! I'll bet Ranma's the same way, you know. Wasting away his weekend slacking off and messing around! Teenagers are all the same!"

* * *

"Three hundred and twelve - huff! - three hundred and thirteen - huff! - three hundred and fourteen - huff!" Ranma's breath came in short, measured bursts as he did one-handed push-ups in front of the camp fire, switching arms every once in a while.

"So if this Hibiki guy is such a nemesis of yours, how come none of us have ever heard of him?" Hashiru asked as he did his own push-ups on the other side of the fire. Unlike Ranma, he did his sets with his right arm exclusively - the other was, naturally, in his pocket - and he also had Min sitting on his back for extra weight, though not by any choice of his own.

"I've seen him once, I think," Tomas mumbled. "What's his problem with you, exactly?"

"Eh, we - huff! - go way back - huff! - but in a bad way - huff! - I guess - huff! - three hundred and thirty - huff! - oh, right, also - huff! - I almost killed him - huff! - for freaking out Yurumi - huff!"

"Is he any good?" Min asked, happily squatting on Hashiru's broad, muscular back as the brawler grunted periodically in annoyance.

"He's not - huff! - a wimp," Ranma answered non-committally. "But he shouldn't - huff! - be a problem. Just a - huff! - little show before we - huff! - go home, right?" He gave a final push as he regained his footing, and then turned toward Tomas. "Breakfast ready?"

"Yeah, I've got it," Tomas mumbled, pouring some water into cups of instant miso. "Let's just get this over with, all right? I want to get home and see Doc Tofu. I think half my skeleton needs to be re-aligned."

"Maybe Ranma could fix you up," Min said, finally getting off of Hashiru's back to take her breakfast. "He seems pretty knowledgeable about that stuff, and he's REALLY good with his hands."

Tomas and Hashiru immediately snapped their heads toward Min, and spent a moment staring at her with raised eyebrows.

"What? What'd I say?" Min asked, confused.

"I think I'll stick to the doctor," Tomas mumbled as he handed Hashiru his cup. "I don't know where Ranma's hands have been..."

"Never mind that!" Ranma said quickly, keenly aware of the suspicious glances the other boys were giving him. "Let's hurry up! Every minute I wait is a chance for Ryoga to get lost!"

Without allowing further discussion, Ranma gulped down his breakfast miso and then held the cup aloft as he wiped his mouth.

_Fwoof!_ A blast of purple reduced the cup to foul-smelling smoke and a few strands of ash, and Ranma grinned as he stood up. "All right, let's do this."

* * *

"Thanks for keeping an eye on him, Ninja Guy," Ranma said pleasantly as he stepped into the clearing, giving Raven a thumbs-up.

"I still don't see what the point is; if we didn't have him here keeping an eye on your opponent, we could have had a better breakfast than instant soup," Hashiru complained as he, Tomas, and Min stood at the periphery of the battlefield.

"As strange as it sounds, I believe Lord Yagami made the right decision," the servant Ninja mumbled. "In his effort to relieve himself, Hibiki almost left the forest twice, and once almost fell off a cliff."

Min raised an eyebrow. "But the only cliffs are on the mountain."

"I've had a very long morning."

Ryoga slowly stood up, his face locked in an expression of contemptuous loathing. "Are you done mocking me yet? I have places to go after I've finished grounding you to a pulp, Ranma!"

"Well, if you tell the Ninja guy where those places are, then maybe we can haul your unconscious body there for ya," Ranma taunted, cracking his knuckles.

Ryoga's eye twitched in annoyance. Not so much at the taunt, which was to be expected of his foolish nemesis, but rather that Ranma's insulting suggestion was actually a good idea, as he couldn't really find his way back to Nerima on his own whether he won or lost. Of course, he couldn't say that NOW.

"Why... don't... you... just... DIE!!"

Ranma immediately flinched back at the last word, as if Ryoga's unreasonable request had hit him with tangible force.

_Wham!_ Ryoga's fist DID hit with tangible force, and Ranma was flung away as the lost boy landed the first hit in the fight.

'It... It worked? It really worked?' Ryoga thought, easily as stunned as Ranma from his performance. 'Damn! If I knew that I would have used something more lethal to follow it up!'

Ranma managed to land on his feet, and skidded to a stop a good distance away before sweeping his hand forward. "**Yami barai**!" 'What the hell was that? He just yelled and I was completely stunned for a second!'

Ryoga dodged the fireball with ease, dashing toward Ranma as he unstrapped his umbrella. "**Yari no hakaisha**!" The lost boy rocketed forward across the ground, the earth tearing at his feet as he drove his umbrella toward Ranma.

"**K-Kaen ki**-" _Thrack!_ Ranma's counter was interrupted as Ryoga plowed into him, dissipating the flames and sending him flying onto his back.

"Yowch. This guy looks like he's got some momentum going," Hashiru said, scratching the back of his neck.

"What was that thing he did at the beginning?" Tomas asked, shuddering. "It's like my heart stopped for a second."

"It's an aura trick," Hashiru explained. "Kinda like when I do my reversal. You suddenly disrupt the ki in your attacker and it leaves them paralyzed for a sec. Impressive to manage it without any sort of physical contact, though."

_THWOOM!_ Ryoga grunted as he leapt backward out of a sudden explosion, and then opened his umbrella as Ranma darted after him, striking constantly as he advanced.

_Twang! Clangk!_ Ryoga suddenly thrust the umbrella forward after blocking an attack, and was momentarily unbalanced as his weapon failed to hit anything. At the same time, he felt a sudden surge of heat above him as Ranma passed overhead, glittering balls of flame floating slowly to the ground.

_Thwoom! Thwoom! Thwoom!_ Ryoga rolled away as the ground was consumed in fire, his umbrella covering his flank at all times.

"Well, seems like you've got more up your sleeves than a few new moves," Ranma murmured, standing amidst the flames as they slowly abated. One of Ryoga's primary weaknesses was that he was accustomed to taking hits rather than avoiding them; which sometimes worked when your opponent used his fists, but didn't when you were being bombarded with fire. This Ryoga was more mobile and more cautious, and Ranma found the pain in his abdomen fading as he wondered what else the lost boy had in store.

"I'm not the same Ryoga you kicked around so easily, Ranma!" the lost boy growled, grabbing a handful of bandannas and letting them fly at his enemy. "If you had any brains, you'd get on your knees and beg for forgiveness while you still can!"

Ranma snorted, his hands lighting up into twin balls of flame before he swept them in front of him, leaving a trail of small explosions that swallowed up the cloth projectiles before they could do him any harm.

"**Kijin raishu dan**!" Ryoga shouted, sweeping his free hand forward as he saw his first attack repelled.

"Eh?" Ranma blinked at seeing a strange distortion in the air shoot toward him, and moved his hand back to fire another small blast to intercept whatever it was.

_Sklurk!_ "Ghk!" Ranma jerked back as the vacuum blade struck home, undisturbed by his flames, and then a fan of blood blasted out of his back.

"What the hell? Ranma?" Min asked nervously at seeing her boyfriend stagger briefly.

"I didn't see it! What hit him?" Tomas asked.

Hashiru remained silent, his mouth twisting into a frown.

'It worked! This is incredible! Everything is working out exactly as planned!' Ryoga grinned as he charged forward, closing his umbrella into a spear point. "**Yari no hakaisha**!" Once again, he blasted forward like a train, aiming to pulverize his foe while Ranma was still surprised and off-balance.

"Back off!" Ranma snarled suddenly, raising one arm as ribbons of flame erupted from the ground.

_Thwoom!_ Ryoga grunted as he was blasted aside, the ribbons swirling around Ranma as he rose into the air.

Ranma landed after completing the technique, and then nearly staggered again from the pain of the enormous cut along his upper torso. 'Still don't know what that was... but next time, I'll make sure to dodge, not deflect!'

"Heh! What's the matter, Ranma? Running low on steam already? That's not like you!" Ryoga taunted, standing up from where he landed. "You've barely scratched me! Don't make this too easy, now!"

"Get real, porky," Ranma said, his demeanor instantly hardening at any suggested weakness. "The last serious fight I had was with an indestructible, fire-proof demon! You're a cakewalk in comparison, new tricks or no!"

Ryoga dashed forward, his expression hardening at Ranma's nickname for him. "Why don't you just... SHUT UP!!"

Once again, Ryoga's voice boomed across the clearing, and Ranma felt his body tense involuntarily as the lost boy thrust a hand toward his heart, index and middle finger curved like a hook. "**Dokuja tanketsu sho**!"

_Thwack!_ Ryoga's attack hit home, but instead of tearing through the skin and sliding between a gap in his foe's ribcage, as the technique was supposed to do, it pressed uselessly into Ranma's jacket as Ryoga's entire body suddenly went numb.

"**Dokuga gyakuten**," Ranma mumbled irritably. _WHAM!_

Ryoga went flying backward from an open-palm strike, his umbrella bouncing off to the side as he skidded along the ground.

The lost boy quickly got to his feet, and flipped out of the way just as Ranma ran up to him, sliding past with a sweeping kick.

"Damn it! Don't think that-" Before Ryoga could finish cursing his opponent, Ranma had doubled around, his fist engulfed in violet flame.

"**Shikyo hana**!" Ranma screamed, obliterating a tree as Ryoga leapt for cover. "**Yami barai**!"

Ryoga rolled across the ground, and then barely jumped away again as another fireball detonated behind him. 'No! I can't let him get on the offensive like this!'

Ripping off another handful of bandannas, Ryoga let his weaker projectiles loose while he made a dash for his umbrella.

_Fwoom! Fwoom! Fwoom!_ The bandannas were each obliterated mid-air as Ranma pushed forward, blasting aside the obstacles as he pursued his opponent.

"Got it!" Ryoga crowed as he recovered his weapon, immediately doing a backflip into the air and aiming the head of the umbrella downward as he rocketed toward Ranma's head.

Ranma twisted around the brutal attack, ignoring the explosion of dirt and rock before launching a powerful roundhouse kick into the dust.

_Clang!_ His foot slammed into Ryoga's umbrella, and the pigtailed boy had to leap back as Ryoga immediately made a jab at him.

"**Kijin raishu dan**!" Ryoga shouted again, sweeping one arm past his umbrella.

Ranma grit his teeth and leapt backwards, but it was to no avail as the air blade struck home, knocking him backward onto the ground and generating a fan of blood around his body.

"Gah! DAMMIT that hurts!" The pigtailed boy cursed as he pushed himself into the sitting position, glaring at Ryoga.

"Don't worry about it! You won't be feeling much of anything in a bit!" Ryoga said sadistically as he charged forward. "**Yari**-"

Before Ryoga could even start his technique, Ranma's form blurred, and the lost boy blinked in surprise as Ranma shot past him in an unbelievable burst of speed. "Whoa!"

Ryoga quickly whirled around, and barely managed to block a back kick before it struck him in the neck.

_Clank! Whang!_ Several more attacks were deflected as Ranma pushed his momentary advantage, and eventually Ryoga's guard was opened by a sudden snap kick that knocked his umbrella out of the way.

"**Shikyo hana**!" Ranma shouted, drilling into his enemy with a powerful explosive punch.

Ryoga was blown back from the attack, smoke trailing from his body as he rolled across the ground. He had managed to hold onto his umbrella this time, though.

"Humph! So you can at least do this much," Ryoga said as he pushed himself back up. "Still, this is nothing compared to the damage you've taken! Aren't you embarrassed, in the state you're in?"

"What, this?" Ranma asked, brushing away some blood dribbling down onto his pants. "Nah, I'm fine. More importantly, you want to turn it up a notch?"

"Eh?" Ryoga raised an eyebrow. "You can't be serious! If we go any further I really WILL kill you! Back down now, and I might spare your life, at least!"

In response, Ranma's aura burst around him, momentarily swallowing the pigtailed boy in a whirlwind of purple flame.

Ryoga quickly moved into a defensive position, though he became confused when his opponent didn't move to attack.

"Embarrassed? Nah, I'm not embarrassed. Actually, I'm pretty happy about this," he said, his breath laboring slightly as the flames started to thin, curling into tendrils of violet energy that swirled around him.

"H-Happy?" Ryoga asked, completely confused. "You're happy about getting your ass kicked? Is there something wrong with you?"

"Hey, don't get ahead of yourself!" Ranma said, a jubilant smile on his face. "I'm happy that you've actually reached this level! Before, you were always just on the wrong side of being a real challenge, you know? You could never stand up to me for long, and you never got any better. This... is actually pretty refreshing."

Ranma clapped his hands together, and all the fire swirling around him suddenly seemed to collapse into a single mote of dark, pulsing light around his hands. "So whaddya say we turn up the heat a little, huh?"

"Y-You're crazy!" Ryoga said, bigsweating a bit as he backed up. He hadn't really expected Ranma to fold even once the pigtailed boy started losing, but this gleeful battle-lust was completely different from any of the previous encounters. Ranma's rant gave the lost boy a sinking feeling that he had stepped into a tier that he wasn't entirely ready for, and Ryoga could feel his confidence waning.

"No time for regret now!" Ranma crowed, slamming his hand into the ground. "**Gouka dan**!"

"Yeep!" Ryoga jumped back as he saw the shock wave approaching, earth blasting into the sky as the dark energies burned across the ground.

After gaining some distance, the lost boy dashed to the side, hoping to get around the energy bomb to launch another attack.

At about the same time, Ranma rose one hand into the air and snapped his fingers.

_BWAKOOOM!!_ An earth-shattering explosion tore through the clearing, instantly igniting many trees on the nearest edge of the forest and completely obscuring the two fighters from each other.

As the dome of hellfire expanded, Ranma suddenly dashed straight into it, his hands igniting in anticipation as he crossed the ashen surface of the blast zone.

Bursting out of the other side of the flames, the pigtailed boy stopped in surprise as he saw nothing in front of him save the flames and scorch marks from the explosion.

_Thwip!_ Ranma was caught off-guard as a bandanna cut across his shoulder, though he was able to shrug it off much more easily than the wounds from the vacuum blade.

_BWOOM!_ He evaded right as Ryoga dove down toward him with his umbrella, slamming into the ground hard and creating a small impact crater overlapping with the much larger blast crater.

A back kick slammed into the lost boy's head, sending him reeling back into the smoke from Ranma's earlier attack. Ryoga fended off another kick with his umbrella, and then leapt into the air.

"**Kijin dai ran bu**!" Ryoga unleashed his aura at the apex of his jump, and more vacuum blades erupted from all around him before curving in Ranma's direction.

Ranma frowned for a moment as the projectiles descended on him, and then he dashed forward into the deadly maelstrom, his image blurring behind him.

"Wh-What-" Ryoga, who was being kept briefly aloft by the chaotic air currents, didn't get much more than that out of his mouth before Ranma leapt up into the air after him, grabbing him over the face before pulling the both of them down again.

_Wham!_ Dirt and rock burst from the ground as Ranma slammed his opponent into the earth, and a few sparks shot up around the pigtailed boy as energy rushed through his arm.

"**Koto tsuki in**!" _Bwoom!_

Ryoga's scream of pain was muffled by Ranma's hand as he was wreathed in purple flames, and Ranma staggered backward as the lost boy was blasted away.

Ryoga coughed painfully as he hopped to his feet, and he grit his teeth as he turned toward Ranma. 'That's crazy! How could he have gotten through that many vacuum blades unscathed? Nobody's that fast!'

Upon taking a good look at his pigtailed opponent, Ryoga realized that he was correct; Ranma was far from unscathed, and blood was now dribbling freely down his legs and arms.

'He took the hits and charged through anyway? He's more than insane! How is he even still standing?'

"Damn, _Munch_ looks like they've hit a _Munch_ climax, huh?" Tomas asked around the rice in his mouth.

"Totally. _Crunch!_ Yagami looks like he's on his last legs, but he 'aint backing down, and the new kid is really starting to freak out. _Gulp!_" Hashiru swallowed some tempura and then opened up an energy drink before guzzling it down.

"_Glug! Glug! Glug!_ What is that technique, though?" Min asked, wiping her mouth as she finished off a can of juice. "It's not a physical weapon, but Ranma's aura isn't absorbing it at all!"

Ranma sweatdropped from where he was still standing off against Ryoga. "Uh... guys? What are you eating?"

"These are just the supplies we had left," Tomas asked, unwrapping a calorie block. "We're going home today anyway, right? No point in wasting them." It seemed that Raven had broken down the entire camp during the fight, and was even now piling the last of the supplies and gear in preparation for them to leave.

"Wh... What about... me?" Ranma asked, his breathing labored.

"You look kinda busy to be worrying about lunch," Hashiru mumbled, unpacking some more rice.

"Careful, Ranma!" Min shouted, stopping to tear off a piece of beef jerky in her mouth. "The bandannas are just a distraction! Those air blades are the real attack!"

Ranma's eye twitched as he returned his attention to his opponent. "Thanks, I'd noticed by now..."

Ryoga, for his part, was holding his ground with a neutral expression, his mind tearing between fear and cautious optimism.

'He's almost down! He has to be! But... how much more can he take? Those air blades should've chopped him apart, but he's still on his feet!'

Ranma staggered forward for a moment, sparks of purple flaring about his fingers, but looking completely unprepared to launch an attack.

'I'll take the initiative!' Ryoga thought, stepping forward hesitantly. 'There's no going back now, after all! If I can-'

_BWOOM!_ Ryoga flinched at the sudden explosion, and was thus caught completely off-guard when it was not him, but in fact Ranma that was blown off of his feet by a burst of fiery violet.

Of course, there was the minor problem that Ranma had been blasted in Ryoga's direction, with his blood-spattered arm braced for a shoulder charge.

"Whoomph!" Ryoga was slammed back as the boys impacted each other, Ranma collapsing immediately and Ryoga flying backward a few meters before he managed to regain his senses and roll to a stop.

"What the hell was that?" Ryoga shouted angrily as he got up. "Are you trying to kill us both, moron?"

Ranma chuckled darkly as he picked himself up. "Both? After so many air blades, an impact like that barely tickled. Was it too much for you?"

"I'm SAYING that you shouldn't go blowing yourself up before I get a chance to tear you apart!" Ryoga growled, bringing his umbrella back into position. "Now this time, STAY down!"

Ryoga charged forward, swinging his umbrella in a high arc, and was utterly surprised when Ranma slapped it out of the way negligently rather than dodging.

_Wham!_ The pigtailed boy took a half-step to the left before slamming Ryoga back with and open-palm strike, sending the lost boy tumbling onto his back once more.

'What? How did he...' Ryoga quickly climbed to his feet, seeing that Ranma hadn't moved from where he was standing. 'Something's wrong here! He shouldn't be able to pull off something like that! Not in the shape he's in!'

Panicking, Ryoga pulled off a fistful of bandannas and hurled them at his opponent, the strips of cloth turning into whirling, sawblade-like projectiles in the air.

Ranma's hands lit up in response as he prepared his usual countermeasure. "**Kaen kito**!" The fireburst immediately reduced a few of the oncoming bandannas to ashes, leaving the rest to pass by harmlessly on all sides of the Yagami fighter.

"Gotcha!" Ryoga shouted, grabbing onto Ranma's shoulder with his free hand before his foe could recover from the energy surge.

_Whack!_ Ryoga slammed his forehead into Ranma's, knocking back the pigtailed boy's head and then stepping back as he prepared to smash his stunned enemy with the hilt of his umbrella.

_WHACK!_ Ryoga was utterly unprepared for Ranma to simply bring his head back around and slam it back into Ryoga's forehead, and the lost boy staggered backward from the blow, dazed.

Ranma calmly stepped forward, pressing his palm flat against Ryoga's chest as his hand glowed and crackled briefly. _Bwoom!_

As Ryoga was blasted back onto the ground, grunting in pain, Ranma stepped past him, walking up to a nearby tree on the edge of the clearing and resting his hand against it.

"Yeah, you've definitely gotten a lot better, Ryoga. But you're still not there, yet," he said conversationally, taking his hand off the tree and stepping further away from his opponent.

"What? I'm not there? Where's 'there'?" Ryoga asked irritably, standing up as smoke wafted from his scorched shirt.

"You're still not quite at this level," Ranma explained, digging his fingers into the next tree as he walked past it, and drawing a series of burnt lines across the width of the trunk before passing it by. "Or rather, you ARE at this level, but you're not used to it yet."

"What are you going on about now?" Ryoga demanded, gathering his strength. "You're just stalling for time, aren't you?"

"I'm serious," the pigtailed boy said, a smirk on his face. "You see, fighting at the level we're at, it's not so much about techniques and strength anymore, you know? Everyone's on the same playing field. We all have our special tricks, and one way or another, they kind of balance each other out. Nobody's unstoppable, but everybody's still dangerous. It becomes less about strength and training, and more about strategy and even luck."

"I'm sick of listening to you!" Ryoga declared, smashing his umbrella into the ground and embedding it a good foot or so into the dirt.

Then the lost boy's aura exploded around him, the energies coalescing into his arms. "**Sai dai kyu**..." Ryoga mumbled, crossing his arms in front of him, "**Kijin raishu dan**!"

_THWOOM!_ An enormous shimmering arc rocketed forward as Ryoga spread his arms apart, causing a shock wave of dirt and dust to blast outward as it split the earth below, surging toward Ranma.

"**Ya otome**!" Ranma suddenly shouted, his form blurring as he dashed straight toward the vacuum blade, his head low to the ground.

Ryoga felt his heart seize up as he realized the vulnerable position he was in, and spurred his body to action as energy freely seeped from his hands. As large and powerful as his attack was, Ryoga knew he had released the projectile at chest level; it was just barely possible that someone could survive moving under it, and Ranma had an annoying habit of routinely accomplishing the "barely possible".

_Bwack!_ Ryoga blocked Ranma's grasping arm as the pigtailed boy emerged from the wave of dust, and then somersaulted over his opponent when Ranma tried to sweep out his legs.

Ryoga landed in the trench left by his attack, and then quickly hopped backward into the edge of the cloud of dust, hoping that he could conceal himself in a hurry if Ranma decided to press the attack.

_Splurch!_ That hardly seemed likely as a wash of blood burst from Ranma's shoulder, revealing a cut much deeper than any of the others caused earlier.

"Whoa, is he all right?" Tomas asked, looking nervous.

"He's lost too much blood! If this goes on any longer..." Min shouted in a panic.

Hashiru frowned. "Wait for it..."

"Heh... Heh..." Ranma chuckled weakly as Ryoga cautiously stood up behind him. "It's all about... strategy, ya see? 'Cause... even one wrong step... and you're finished..."

A smile slowly crossed Ryoga's lips as he watched his opponent wobble to and fro slightly. "I see. Don't worry, I'll make sure to learn from your example!" he crowed, crossing his arms over his chest.

Ranma turned his head lazily, holding one hand in the air. "Good. Now watch carefully..." _Snap!_

Ryoga was confused when Ranma snapped his fingers, and no less confused when he noticed the trees closest to him on the side glowing a fierce, ambient purple. "Wait... what is-"

"**Akarumii shokubai**," Ranma said tiredly. "Night-night."

_KWABOOOM!!_

All three trees that Ranma had casually touched upon earlier detonated like enormous sticks of TNT, briefly filling the whole clearing with a brilliant violet light that blinded the spectators just before a wave of powerful heat washed over them.

_Whoomph! Whoomph! WHAM!_

Min yelped as Ryoga's form, barely recognizable as a smoking lump of mass bouncing heavily across the ground, skidded across the earth just to left, throwing up a blast of dirt and splinters as a nearby tree arrested his motion.

"Knew there was something to those marks he left on the trees," Hashiru commented, waving a hand in front of his face to dispel the smoke that was spreading throughout the area, "still, this is a bit much..."

The smoke started to clear, lifting up into the air as the super-accelerated chemical reaction finished reducing the trees to ashes, burning up even their roots and leaving small smoking potholes in the ground where the improvised weapons had been.

Hashiru was surprised to see Ranma still standing as visibility improved, his head slumped and his shoulders rising and falling with each labored breath.

"Hey... Ryoga still... good to go?" Ranma asked, trying to sound casual around the blood pooling in his mouth.

"Nah, he's down," Tomas said, idly tapping Ryoga's scorched body with his foot. "Could probably use an ambulance, too."

"Oh..." Ranma mumbled, swaying from side to side. "So that's... all... huh? How... disappo-" _Thud!_

Min sweatdropped as she stared at Ranma's unconscious form. "And Ranma wins, by about twenty seconds. Geez... don't you think these two were overdoing it a little?"

"If you keep that attitude, you'll never reach his level, you know!" Tomas said, rummaging through a backpack for the medical supplies.

"Raven, take care of Yagami," Hashiru commanded before he turned toward Tomas. "I'm not saying you're wrong, but she still has a point. Those attacks were way too intense for anything but a blood duel. I'm still not clear on what exactly Yagami did at the end there, but whatever it was, there's a reason he saved it as a last-ditch backup plan. That's way too much force for a martial arts match. If the new kid was any closer to the trees when they blew, he could've easily lost an arm or something."

"Not that his techniques are any safer," Min groused, looking at the long stretch of forest that had been ripped apart by Ryoga's final vacuum blade. "Was he seriously trying to slice Ranma in half?"

"From the looks of things, he was trying to slice him into fifths, or maybe tenths," Tomas mumbled as he poured some burn ointment on a towel and started first aid work on the lost boy. "This guy is dangerous."

Hashiru sighed and shrugged. "Yeah, well, as long as Yagami can handle him, I'm willing to look the other way for now. This isn't our problem, and it's hard to imagine them getting into a fight more destructive than what we just saw here."

Min had begun helping Raven with Ranma's first aid work, and glanced over at Hashiru as she peeled off the pigtailed boy's jacket, wincing badly as parts of it stuck to the boy's body due to the dried blood. "So what are we going to do with fangs over there? Do we really want to take him along with us?"

"Not, really, no," Hashiru admitted. "Leaving him here shouldn't be a problem if we patch him up first. He's obviously a traveler, and he hasn't suffered any crippling injuries, right?"

Tomas frowned as he looked over his patient. "Define 'crippling'."

"Lord Hashiru, while we are certainly not obligated to care for Hibiki, it would be very dangerous to him to be left here in this condition," Raven said. "Lord Yagami will be fine with us to care for him, but without assistance, Hibiki may not recover."

Hashiru turned to stare at Ranma, and then his mouth slowly curled into a smile. "Well, we can't have that, can we? Heh heh heh..."

* * *

"Hurts... Hurts bad..." Ranma moaned weakly as his eyes fluttered open, heralding his return to consciousness.

Most of his body protested the awakening, and the pigtailed boy could feel, in addition to a powerful soreness that permeated his entire body, the sharp, stabbing pain of the cuts that had been left by Ryoga's vacuum blades. After a moment, he could recognize the feel of gauze wrappings and the smell of disinfectant, so he was relieved to find that he had at least been cared for.

'What time is it?' Ranma thought, shifting his head upward and looking through the forest canopy at the early evening sky. 'Getting dark, huh? Man, I was out for most of the day, then.'

Ranma continued staring up at the sky for several long moments, mulling this over.

"Wait a minute..."

He craned his neck to glance at his surroundings, and was quite disturbed to find that he was still in the middle of the battlefield upon which he had fallen. More to the point, despite the fact that his wounds had been cared for, a search of his surroundings from where he had fallen revealed that there was no one else in sight.

Well, no one other than Ryoga. The lost boy was bandaged up even more extensively than he was, and was clearly still unconscious.

"They didn't... They wouldn't..." Ranma mumbled, slowly picking his head up off the ground as his whole body protested mightily.

As soon as he was upright, a slip of paper that he hadn't noticed before slid off of his belly and into his lap.

"... They did," Ranma mumbled, looking over the note.

"Dear Ranma," the note began inconspicuously, "We all decided that Hibiki was hurt too badly to leave alone, and decided two-to-one that since you were the one that hurt him, it should be up to you to take care of him. The reverse also applies, of course; given how badly you're hurt, you'll need his help as well. See you back at home! Love, Hashiru, Tomas, and Min."

A small doodle of Hashiru making a "V" with his fingers was situated below the signatures, with a short message below that.

"P.S. REVEEEEENGE!!!"

Ranma's eye twitched as he re-read the note, and his eyes slowly crept upward to stare at Ryoga, still unconscious a few meters away from him.

"Apparently I was too easy on them," Ranma mumbled to himself, a terrifying smirk growing across his features. "If they have the guts to try something like this, obviously they do not FEAR enough."

"Unnnngh..."

Ranma perked up as he heard a deep groaning noise from Ryoga, and the pigtailed boy slowly and painfully pushed himself to his feet.

"Wha... Where am I?" Ryoga mumbled, his eyes fluttering open. "Last... Last things I remember... fighting Ranma... an explosion?"

The lost boy's arm twitched as he tried to rest his hand against his throbbing head, but the stinging agony that resulted forced him to relent. "I lost? I lost... Damn you... Ranma... this is... all... your fault..."

"Well, duh," Ranma said, causing Ryoga to flinch in surprise. "How you holding up, pork breath?"

"Ranma! You're still here?" Ryoga snarled from where he lay on the ground, suddenly far more animated. "You bastard! You tricked me! And then you hung around this long just so you could gloat over your victory?"

"Not exactly, no," Ranma admitted.

The somewhat irritable response caught Ryoga off-guard, and the lost boy raised an eyebrow. "Oh. So what are you still doing here, then?"

In response, Ranma crouched down next to Ryoga and held the note facing down over his face.

"............ Man, your friends suck," the lost boy mumbled.

"So there you have it," Ranma mumbled, incinerating the note with a burst of flame and rubbing his head with his hand. "Looks like we're stuck with each other. You feel up to walking yet, or do you need a hand up?"

Ryoga snorted defiantly, glaring at his nemesis. "I'd rather die that accept your help!"

Ranma was silent for several moments. "Really?" He asked finally.

Ryoga twitched on the ground a few times. "I... I mean... I'd rather die than accept MORE help than... than helping me stand up. Let's not be melodramatic about this."

"Of course," Ranma deadpanned, grabbing hold of Ryoga's hand. "This might hurt a lot."

Ryoga was fairly used to pain, and suffered stoically as Ranma pulled him to his feet despite the surges of agony flashing up and down his body.

"Can you walk?"

"Of course I can walk!" Ryoga snapped, stretching his arms and legs a bit to test how tight the bandage wrappings were. "Uh... where's my umbrella?"

"Looks like my 'students' stacked your stuff over there," Ranma said, pointing to the oversized backpack and the umbrella leaning against one of the trees at the edge of the clearing. "That's weird... they didn't leave any of my stuff?"

Ryoga chuckled darkly as he staggered over to his belongings. "Too bad for you! I'm not letting you have my supplies!"

Feeling triumphant in his petty victory, Ryoga grabbed the shoulder strap of his backpack and pulled.

Ranma's eyes narrowed as he watched his rival shiver in pain at the attempt before dropping the pack onto the ground again. "Having trouble?"

"It's... It's fine!" Ryoga shouted between panting breaths. "Don't think that you'll get a share of my supplies just by carrying my backpack for me!"

"How about by carrying your backpack for you AND leading you back to civilization?" Ranma asked, his arms crossed over his chest. "I'll even throw in the offer of not blasting you and just TAKING your stuff, since this situation is your fault anyway."

"Don't think you can push me around so easily!" Ryoga growled.

"I **know** I can push you around, porkchop, because I just BEAT you," Ranma growled back.

The growling of the two boys was momentarily overwhelmed by the growling of their stomachs, and the pair reluctantly dropped their glares.

"... So, you're going right back to Nerima?" Ryoga asked after a moment of hesitation.

"Yeah. I've got school tomorrow," Ranma mumbled, rubbing the back of his head.

"Hmph. I guess I can spare some food if we're going the same way," Ryoga said, trying his hardest to sound gracious about it. "After all, if a novice like you has to hunt and forage the whole way, we'll probably be out here all week."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night," said Ranma, stepping past his rival and lifting up the unreasonably heavy pack in front of Ryoga. Although his own wounds protested at the heavy exertion, Ranma had as much practice pretending he wasn't in pain as Ryoga had in resisting it. "We can eat something once we get to the road. It should be less than an hour."

Ryoga frowned as Ranma shouldered the backpack, and then slowly picked up his umbrella before leaning on it like a walking stick. "Wait, is this the right direction?"

"What kind of question is that?" Ranma asked, looking annoyed. "Of course it's the right direction! And if it wasn't, it's still a better direction than whatever you'd choose!"

Ryoga bristled for a moment as he staggered after Ranma, struggling with his obnoxiously heavy umbrella as he tried to keep up. "Don't get cocky! I've been this way before! It leads to the ocean!"

Ranma sighed as he trudged through the underbrush. "Well, sure, eventually, but..."

The pigtailed boy trailed off, and then stopped moving.

"Ryoga," Ranma said finally, glancing behind him, "do you know what an 'island' is?"

Ryoga's face twisted into a scowl of indignation. "Of course I know what an island is, idiot! It's land surrounded by water!"

"Right, right," Ranma said, apparently unsatisfied by the answer. "You do know that JAPAN is an island, right?" Of course, Japan was technically several islands, but Ranma didn't want to break the lost boy's mind or anything.

Ryoga stopped in his tracks, his expression unreadable. "I...... uh... well... I see..." he glanced around cautiously, as if afraid that there was an audience to witness evidence of his ignorance. "That... explains a lot, actually. I didn't know they made islands that big."

'Someday I should show Ryoga a world map, just to see him squirm,' Ranma thought as he started walking again.

The pair walked in silence after that; Ryoga was occupied with applying his new geographical knowledge to his understanding of the world around him (with predictably horrifying results), and Ranma had trouble thinking of anything to say after his pity for Ryoga's sense of direction overwhelmed his contempt for his cursed rival.

Ryoga had done a lot of things to him that ranged from irritating to villainous, but after fighting the lost boy in earnest and nearly dying as a result, Ranma found that his respect for the fanged moron had actually crawled up a notch.

Ranma wasn't sure if it made up for being left behind with no supplies, injured and with only Ryoga to help him, but that was as much his friends' fault as Ryoga's, so he was willing to let it go.

"There's the ranger's station up ahead," Ranma said as he noticed a thin trail of smoke rising above the trees. "Do you need to stop and rest, or can we keep going until we reach the main road?" Left unsaid was that he was, naturally, strong enough to manage the trek back to the road, even carrying Ryoga's things, and that he was only making the offer to accommodate Ryoga's weakness.

'Please stop and rest, please stop and rest, please stop and rest...'

Ryoga bristled angrily, seizing upon the chance to let his stubborn nature show. "Don't look down on me, Ranma! You came damn close to defeat today! And next time we fight I won't fall for your stupid tricks, so don't be so cocky!"

'Damn. Obviously I didn't blast him hard enough if he's recovering so well and so quickly.'

Aloud, Ranma snorted. "Oh? And what about all your tricks and all the new techniques I saw? You think you'll be able to do as well next time?"

The two martial artists glared at each other, and then turned away, grimacing as they passed by the ranger station.

"Although..." Ranma finally said, scratching his cheek as he looked away from his rival, "I have to admit, that air blade thing is pretty solid. Even after getting hit that many times, I don't think I've figured it out completely."

Ryoga twitched at Ranma's words, his face darkening. 'It took me a week just to figure out the basis of the technique, and I had the damn technique scroll! Cocky jackass!'

"That thing you did at the beginning, too, it was really impressive," Ranma admitted, thinking back to the stunning shout Ryoga had done. "The technique I used against it I ripped off of Hashiru, but I don't even know where to begin if I was to copy yours. I was really in a bind there for a minute."

'That "ripped off" technique totally foiled mine! I'll probably never succeed with that attack again!' Ryoga thought, a green aura manifesting around him.

"Like I said, you've improved a lot, and putting aside the mess we're in now, I'm kinda glad that you showed up," Ranma admitted, his attitude cheering little by little as the pair trudged through the forest. "I mean, the training trip was going fine, but it was my friends who were getting all the practice, you know? Doesn't do much for me."

'And now he's complaining that he wasn't getting enough exercise! Probably because he was too busy making out with his girlfriend, the bastard!'

"What I'm tryin' to say is, if you want to have more of your silly little revenge duels, that's cool," Ranma said, suddenly coughing gently into his hand. "But in the future, could we go back to writing letters of challenge or something? You have a habit of turning up in the wrong place at the wrong time, you know? So don't..."

Ranma finally glanced back at his traveling companion, and noted with great confusion that a blazing, wrathful aura encircled the lost boy as Ryoga staggered along, mumbling darkly the whole time.

"Uh... you okay?" Ranma asked, sweatdropping.

Ryoga seemed to pay the pigtailed boy no mind, stepping past him while still mumbling all the while. "Cocky son of a... train harder, even longer... won't get off so easy... stupid bombs won't save you..."

"I was trying to compliment you, you know," Ranma said, frowning as the lost boy continued straight ahead.

Finally, he sighed. "Oh well. I guess this is fine too." Dropping the backpack on the ground, he called out to Ryoga, who was just about to step into some bushes and undoubtedly end up getting turned completely around. "Yo, bacon brains! I'm taking a breather! Come on, let's eat something!"

Ryoga's aura promptly dispersed, though the lost boy still looked quite upset. "What are you talking about? We haven't reached the road yet!"

"Yeah, so what?" Ranma said, opening up the pack and digging through it. "I want to eat now."

"Hey! You can't just rifle through my things as you please!" Ryoga seethed, staggering up to Ranma and almost tripping over his umbrella as a result. "Who put you in charge?"

"I did," Ranma said casually, taking out some dried meat and promptly tearing off a bit.

"Hey! I didn't say you could eat that!" Ryoga growled. "I don't have to take this from you!"

"Of course not," Ranma said in-between bites. "You can leave any time you want."

Ryoga was silent for several long moments as he considered the option.

"You don't have to put up with me; I'm definitely not forcing you to stick around," Ranma continued, pulling out a can of tea and popping it open. "I just happen to have two things you don't: the strength to carry your things, and the sense of direction to get to civilization within a day. But you don't really need any of that, right? A solid food supply and good directions isn't worth hanging around me."

Ryoga started to sweat as Ranma's words slowly undermined the lost boy's boiling emotions, clouding his mind with reason.

Ranma continued to eat through Ryoga's supplies in silence, incinerating the various wrappers and containers one by one as he finished them.

_Thud!_ Ryoga's umbrella landed on the ground heavily, and a moment later Ryoga joined it, sitting cross-legged in front of Ranma and glaring at the pigtailed boy.

"Are you just gonna eat all my food, or are you at least going to offer me some?" The lost boy finally asked.

Ranma smirked as he handed his rival a granola bar. "You know, if we just splash you with some water, I could carry you, too. We'd also save on train fare."

"You can go straight to hell."

"Heh. You too, Ryoga. You too."

* * *

"Well, it's Monday morning and no sign of Ranma," Tomas mumbled as he and Min walked to class, glancing around the halls of Furinkan nervously. "Do you think he made it back okay?"

"I certainly hope so," Min mumbled, looking slightly anxious as she scanned the halls. "I mean, of course he made it back, right? There's no way Ranma couldn't handle a long hike back to the train station!"

"I'm a bit worried about that Hibiki kid giving him trouble, but I'm sure you're right," Tomas mumbled, turning as he reached the door to the classroom. "Maybe he got home late and he's just skipping today. I'm sure his injuries are bad enough to get himself excused."

Tomas opened the door.

_Hwooosh..._ Tomas and Min stared at the crackling purple fires that surrounded their desks, burning in isolation apart from everything else in the classroom. The other students mostly stared straight ahead, sweating nervously as they tried to remain indifferent to the blaze.

"... That's not good," Tomas mumbled.

After a moment, he felt a chill crawl down his back.

"I... I mean... thank **goodness** Ranma made it back all right!" the American amended.

Min, whose expression had remained carefully neutral since Tomas opened up the door, spoke to the student sitting nearest to them. "He's behind us, isn't he?"

The girl she had spoken to didn't turn her head, but nodded stoically while still facing straight forward.

The two Bogards slowly turned around, grimacing as they saw Ranma looming over them, his gaze dark as he held his arms crossed over his chest.

Min gulped lightly, then forced a smile onto her face. "Hi, honey! Glad to see you again! I missed you!"

_Crack! Thoom!_ Min's desk buckled from a sudden surge of energy within the flames, and within seconds the entire thing fell to the floor in a pile of smoldering ashes.

"I'm going to stop talking now," the Ninja girl said, seeing that her "girlfriend" tactic had failed.

"So..." Tomas began, clasping his hands together and twiddling his thumbs, "I think I'll just go ahead and apologize. Sorry about leaving you in the forest. With that Hibiki guy who wants to kill you. While you were injured."

"You forgot about taking all my stuff," Ranma glowered, stepping forward and taking hold of the front of Tomas' jacket.

"Oh. Right. That too." The American noted that although Ranma had numerous bloodied bandages on him the previous day, much of that gauze was gone now, testament to how fast the pigtailed boy was healing.

"So, 'buddy,' you wanna explain to me why, out of all of you guys, MIN was the only one who voted NOT to leave me stranded in the forest with that idiot!"

Tomas blinked, raising an eyebrow. "Huh? Wait... who told you that Min voted to bring you along?"

Ranma blinked too. "What? You mean she didn't?"

"No! That was me!" Tomas protested.

Min bigsweated as the pigtailed boy turned to stare at her. "What? Those stupid training exercises were really hard!"

"Hmph." Ranma turned away from her and then dropped Tomas before pointing at the American's desk.

_Hoof!_ The violet blaze promptly withered at the command, leaving the desk a mere smoking ruin rather than a pile of cinders, like Min's was.

"Whatever. I'm over it. Let's just start class," Ranma said, looking annoyed as he walked into the room and sat down.

_Crack!_ After a few seconds, the smoking ruin crumbled further, such that Tomas' pile of desk looked much the same as Min's, but in larger pieces.

"You know, I keep stuff in there," Tomas mumbled.

"You mean you 'kept' stuff in there," Ranma corrected. "Past tense. Your Japanese is still a little off."

"We should have left him deeper in the forest," Tomas mumbled under his breath.

"Let's just go home, I don't want to sit on the floor," Min said, turning away from the classroom bleakly.

"Hey, I wonder what happened to the other guy? Hibiki?" Tomas wondered aloud, following his cousin.

"Who knows? Being left alone with the guy that beat him to a pulp, I can't imagine he's in a good spot right now."

* * *

"Bwee! Bwee!" Ryoga whistled fondly as Kasumi gently petted his back, feeling a kind of warm peace spread throughout his body that was only partially ruined by the stinging sensation of having his recently-burnt flesh rubbed so brazenly.

"It was very nice of Ranma to stop by so late at night just to drop off P-chan like that," Kasumi said aloud. It was quite obvious that she was talking to herself, though it annoyed Ryoga to have anyone within earshot praise Ranma for anything.

Kasumi had turned up early in the morning to clean up, fearing that her family would let the household fall into decline in her absence. She was absolutely right to be worried, and had spent a rather frantic morning trying to get things in order.

"Father said Ranma found you in the woods... really P-chan, do you have any idea how worried you made Akane?"

Ryoga actually shed a small tear at that, imagining Akane sobbing into her pillow at night, wailing her pet's name in anguish. 'Forgive me Akane! Forgive my foolish pride!"

In actuality Akane had grown quite used to P-chan's disappearances, so his absence wasn't **quite** the emotional roller coaster that he imagined. Still, P-chan's return to the Tendo household brought Akane joy matched only by her displeasure at having Ranma be the one to return him. Although she had been as quick as ever to accuse him of harming her pet, especially once she realized that P-chan was injured, the pigtailed boy endured her tantrum admirably until she had finished venting, and had even stuck around long enough to squeeze a reluctant "Thank you" out of the youngest Tendo.

After that he had left quickly, though oddly enough not in the direction of his house. Akane hadn't pried for a detailed explanation, as she really couldn't care less, but Ranma had mumbled something about rich people getting what they deserved before he left.

Fortunately, neither Soun nor Nabiki were alerted to his presence, so everyone was spared the awkward discomfort of Soun's attempt to marry people and the awkward silence of... well, Ranma and Nabiki not speaking to each other.

One person who HAD noticed Ranma's brief arrival, however, was Happousai. Oddly enough, the little old martial artist hadn't actually emerged from wherever he was watching until Ranma had left, for which Akane had been thankful.

Still, with Kasumi finally restoring a minimal measure of sanitation to the household and P-chan back from his long, mysterious travels, it seemed that things had finally been restored to something resembling normalcy, even taking into account Happousai's unfortunate presence.

Of course, taking into account the old lecher's presence, it was only a matter of time until all hell broke loose.

"Oh, Grandfather, hello!" Kasumi said cheerfully as she noticed the little old man emerging from the hall and stepping into the living room.

Happousai looked surprised to see the young woman, though not at all displeased. "Ah, Kasumi! Wonderful to see you! I was wondering just how much more of Soun's laziness I could handle before I had to carry you back here myself!"

"Well, after I heard from Akane what kind of state the house was in, I just had to come back, at least for a little while," Kasumi said worriedly, placing a hand to her mouth. Soun had warned her explicitly to stay away from Happousai, but his warnings warred ineffectually against her naive innocence and domestic instincts.

P-chan, for his part, could tell the little man was trouble at a glance, and promptly took up the closest thing to a "warning stance" that a piglet could manage.

"Good to hear, good to hear," Happousai said, apparently dismissing the both of them. "Hate to take off when you've finally arrived, but I have some errands to run!"

Kasumi blinked, cocking her head to one side. "Oh, are you missing your handkerchief? I can take care of the laundry too, while I'm here." She had noticed that most of the time when Happousai went on "errands," he tied a black handkerchief over his head, and was curious as to why he wasn't bothering with the costume now.

"Oh, no, it's not that kind of errand," the lecherous little man said, chuckling as he held up a rolled-up piece of paper. "Anyway, I should be off! I have some... legal matters to attend to."

* * *

_Knock! Knock! Knock!_

Joshin idly checked his pocketwatch as he tapped the crook of his cane against the front door of the Yamazaki mansion, calculating in his head the amount of time until the first class of the day.

The posh fighter was only slightly surprised when the door opened to reveal Raven rather than Hashiru's butler. "Ah, a good morning to you, Raven. Is Lord Hashiru up yet? Maiko wanted to speak to him about a partnership venture before class."

"Lord Hashiru may be a bit late this morning," Raven admitted, stepping back into the house.

Joshin sighed. "I see. Someone new already?"

Raven shook his head, surprising him. "Not this time. He's merely had a difficult weekend under Lord Yagami's tutelage."

Joshin removed his monocle briefly to wipe it with a handkerchief. "Remarkable. To test Lord Hashiru's endurance... Yagami is a monster without peer, certainly."

"Anyway, I'll attempt to wake him up, but I seriously doubt he'll be attending his first class," Raven admitted, sighing through his Ninja mask.

"Ah, just a moment," Joshin said, replacing his monocle. "Before you go, I have a brief query: have you examined the property hedges this morning?"

Raven gave the wealthy young man an annoyed glance. "As a matter of fact, I have not. Lord Hashiru has not yet stooped to assigning me gardening duty.

"I would consider it more of a security issue than a yard maintenance one," Joshin clarified, stepping to the side and pointing his cane out toward the front gate.

Frowning beneath his mask, Raven stepped up to the doorway and peered out past the front yard.

It was easy to tell what Joshin was talking about immediately; the heavy bushes that normally hid the yard fencing had been altered, seemingly by way of strategically burning away sections of the brush. What remained was a sequence of large and surprisingly easy-to-read kanji, though it took Raven a moment to realize that he couldn't easily recognize most of the characters.

"That's odd... what does that say? It seems to be gibberish," the Ninja mumbled, squinting as he rubbed his chin.

"Seems that way, does it not?" Joshin replied evenly, crossing his arms over his chest. "Try imagining it backwards, as if you were reading it from the streets rather than the facilities."

Raven did so, and one eyebrow crept up as the sentence seemed to fall into place. "'Warning: beware of perverted gangsters'?"

"It also says 'Ranma Yagami was here' on the large tree in the yard," Joshin said, pointing his cane to the right. "It seems that he's taken up wanton vandalism."

"It's nothing but a revenge prank, I assure you," Raven said, sighing as he rubbed his head with his hand. "And honestly, a much more harmless one than I had hoped for. The training trip opened my eyes to precisely how cruel and destructive that boy can be."

"I see..." Joshin spent a moment to finger his eyepiece, and then straightened, his hands clasped over the hook of his cane. "So, are we to do anything about the hedges? Some of the neighbors were talking."

"Not at all," Raven said, smirking beneath his mask. "After all, Lord Yagami put a great deal of effort into warning the neighborhood about the kind of people in this house, didn't he?"

"Ah, I suppose so. Let's head off, shall we?"

* * *

The sight of a train speeding through urban sprawl was a common sight in Tokyo; Japan had one of the most extensive and capable rail transit systems in the world, and every day it moved millions of people across and between cities for work, school, and play.

Less common were individuals traveling on TOP of the train cars rather than in them, although the practice was hardly unheard of. Martial artists, Ninja assassins, clueless aliens, and the occasional action hero chasing down a villain all occasionally made use of the train roof rather than going through the disgustingly simple act of just purchasing a ticket. Although the problem wasn't so widespread that there was any real loss of revenue to the transit authority, it was common enough that the ministry had decided to place signs warning against the practice on top of all train cars, if only to provide a defense against lawsuits.

Cologne figured that if anyone asked, she could get away with claiming she couldn't read Japanese very well.

_Th-Thump... Th-Thump..._

The Chinese matriarch glanced to the side, picking out road signs and noting unusual buildings to use as reference points later on, if necessary.

'Hmph. It's hard to believe Shampoo could have spent so long in a place like this,' Cologne thought to herself, her long hair whipping about in the wind. 'This place definitely doesn't suit her... and it's dangerous, besides.'

_Next stop, Nerima prefecture._ Came a computerized voice from below, barely intelligible among the noise of the wind and the rails.

"It looks like I've arrived," Cologne mumbled to herself, glancing about. "Hmmm... it should be somewhere around here... oh well."

Without waiting for the train to slow its movement, the diminutive Amazon leapt off the top of the train, deflecting off of a railroad crossing sign and then landing atop a bus.

"This place is bigger than I expected. Finding either Shampoo **or** Mousse could take weeks," the elder groused, gripping her staff tightly. "Well, no sense complaining. At least I have a good starting point..."

As the bus roared off into the distance, the train started to decelerate as it approached Nerima station, eventually coming to a complete stop at the passenger platform as normal.

The moment the doors slid open, a huge rush of people flooded out, shifting to the side to allow an equally hurried rush of people to flood in.

Among those exiting the vehicle was a teenage girl of Chinese origin. This girl was noteworthy not only because of her physical characteristics in the form of a killer body and long purple hair, but also because she was dragging along a Japanese businessman behind her.

The other passengers, true to form, ignored the debacle. After all, they were in Nerima now, and the instant one entered those cursed borders such violent circumstances were to be expected.

"Wait! Please! I'm sorry! Really sorry! Do you want money? Just, please, let me go!" The man wailed helplessly, holding a hand over his black eye.

Shampoo's eyebrow twitched as she dropped the man on the floor, and she balled her hands into fists. "You think money make up for touch Shampoo like that? You lucky Shampoo not break filthy hand!"

The train molester quivered in fear before he got on his hands and knees, kowtowing pitifully before the Amazon. "You're right! I was wrong! I'll never do it again, I swear! Please let me go! This isn't even my stop!"

Shampoo snorted, but ultimately relented, knocking the man aside with a negligent kick. "You no lie, now! Not get away so easy next time!"

Turning away from the lecherous soul, Shampoo stalked away from the departing train and toward the ticket entry.

Truth be told, a few months ago would have seen Shampoo sitting on the roof in order to avoid train fare and having to mingle with the Japanese crowds, but when she'd considered the option at the train station she'd departed from, the convenience and comfort of squeezing into the car along with everybody else had won out over the few hundred yen that she would have saved up top.

Of course, she hadn't counted on old men trying to grope her, but the discomfort was comparable with the cold winds and dealing with the occasional low-clearance overhang and tunnel. Not to mention that beating the molester afterwards was very refreshing.

'Great-Grandmother would probably say I'm getting soft and lazy,' the Amazon thought to herself, smirking. 'Then again, Great-Grandmother isn't here, so why worry about it?'

That's right; Shampoo was back in Nerima. She had new techniques, and had even picked up some interesting romantic advice from her recent instructor. Mousse had been defeated, the other Amazons were nowhere in sight, and her only real competition for Ranma's attention, that top-heavy half-American kunoichi, was still too hung up on Ranma's silly curse to make a move. All was right with the world.

Smiling happily, Shampoo exited the train station and headed to Ranma's house.

End Chapter 19

**Yari no hakaisha** - Spear of the destroyer  
**Kijin raishu dan** - Demon god assault bomb  
**Kijin dai ran bu** - Demon god big mad dance  
**Sai dai kyu kijin raishu dan** - First-rate demon god assault bomb  
**Dokuja tanketsu sho** - Poison snake deep hole blow 


	20. Hot Spark

The scene opens with an image of two very familiar pig-tailed men standing one stacks of boxes and crates. One is older and wearing a modern combat armor vest in a glossy blue. The other is several years younger and wearing a black jacket with a crescent moon on the back.

"Hey everyone," the older one said, waving his hand, "I'm Ranma Saotome, DAPC officer!"

The younger one jabbed a thumb at his chest. "And I'm Ranma Yagami, the star of this story."

"Man, it's been a while, hasn't it?" Ranma Saotome asked, chuckling, "I don't even remember what story arc I'm in anymore! Something about cyborgs, maybe? Who knows!"

Ranma Yagami crossed his arms over his chest. "As for me, my story's a little more focused, but Jesus! What's with this update record?"

Ranma Saotome sighed wearily as he rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah, it's true. Things have been a little sluggish here at Black Dragon Productions. People have been forgotten. Romances have been sidelined. Major catastrophes that would have hilariously sidelined those romances have ALSO been sidelined, due to the romances having been pre-sidelined before a proper story-based sidelining could occur."

Ranma Yagami scowled. "No, it's not writer's block. In fact, I think you all know what I'm talking about: there's a problem around here and it's time for it to come out into the open. And that problem is..."

Both Ranmas took a deep breath before speaking in stereo, "Big Human on Campus has been taking up all the damn writing time!"

Ranma Yagami immediately started venting the moment the issue was breached. "Seriously, what the HELL? How does a third-rate, cheap harem crossover compare to this series? We have everything! All-star martial arts fights! Teenage drama! Sexy ninja! I got cursed, given fire powers, and even got a LITTLE SISTER! What more do you people want?"

"And even if you ARE one of those weirdos who insist that the love interests be unholy freaks of nature, you've got me!" insisted Ranma Saotome, if more calmly. "Vampire, Sith, and cyborg magical girls! And I think one of 'em even has an alien symbiote now!"

He stopped for a moment, looking doubtful. "Damn it! I really can't remember! What was the last chapter of Millennium about?"

Ranma Yagami coughed into his fist. "Moving on. Over here among the old projects, there's been some frustration. I mean, Nexus Ranma Saotome is so demoralized he didn't even want to bother showing up for this!"

Ranma Saotome nodded. "Right you are, Yagami. Now, we could have just kept this to ourselves and just kept bitching to the author-"

"And we would have done just that if I didn't need a page of pointless banter to head off the chapter," Ranma Yagami interjected.

"But instead we've decided to reach out to the people who share responsibility with the lonely jackass who churns out this crap," Ranma Saotome continued, "and that's you, the readers."

"Tell me something," Ranma Yagami said, slouching against a crate, "how many reviews did BHoC have when this bit was written? Do you know? Let me tell you! NINE HUNDRED AND SEVEN! This story hasn't even breached two-fifty!"

"Now, we're not complaining that not enough readers leave reviews," Ranma Saotome pointed out carefully, "but rather, you should be more careful about where you lavish your attention. Think about it! Just like a democratic citizen shares responsibility for the actions of incompetent politicians in power, you all share some of the blame in directing our incompetent writer toward that Rosario crap!"

"Seriously! It's time you readers did your part!" Ranma Yagami insisted, planting his fists on his hips, "by pouring praise on every stupid new idea Black Dragon has, you're taking critical writing attention and time away from series like mine that need to be properly fleshed out and concluded!"

"And that's the most dangerous thing!" Ranma Saotome said suddenly, his tone turning serious. "You guys can't just jump on whatever new bandwagon the writer slaps together when he gets bored and decides to try something new! Writing these stories goes even SLOWER than most American manga series release schedules!"

Ranma Yagami nodded emphatically. "Yes! If people laud him every time he posts something new, he'll be stuck like so many other authors, his library full of three-and-four chapter projects lying abandoned and forgotten!"

Ranma Saotome placed a hand on his younger counterpart's shoulder. "So do your part. Tell Black Dragon that Big Human is weebo otaku garbage and that he needs to finish his damn works before he starts new ones. Because if you don't..."

Ranma Yagami grimaced. "Remember L33T Ranma?"

The pair shuddered.

"Don't let that happen to us," Ranma Saotome said grimly.

"Only YOU can prevent trendy crossovers from replacing our time-honored classics," Ranma Yagami said firmly, pointing to the reader. "Now please enjoy the story. And don't forget to flame that piece of trash vampire drama! Do it! Seriously!"

Yagami 1/2  
A Ranma 0.5/King of Fighters crossover  
by Black Dragon

Disclaimer: Man, being employed just KILLS your writing progress. Thank Tzeentch for Blackberrys!

Notes: _Sounds_, **Emphasis or techniques**, 'Thoughts', "Dialogue"

Chapter 20  
Fire and Ice

"Hey Mom, I'm home!" Ranma called out as he stepped through the front door, tossing his shoes off before entering the living room.

He didn't get a response right away, and after a quick glance around the pigtailed boy noticed that his father Iori was slouched in a sofa chair in the corner, reading some book that was in English.

"Oh, hey Dad," Ranma said, not really expecting a response as he headed for the stairs and his room.

"Ranma," Iori said suddenly, stopping his son in his tracks.

Ranma looked over toward his father curiously. "Yeah? Something wrong?"

Iori lowered the book and stared expressionlessly at the younger Yagami. "You've been looking for that cat the last week or so, right?"

Ranma nodded, his expression brightening. "Yeah, I was! Did you find Maya?"

"No," Iori said bluntly, instantly crushing Ranma's hopeful mood. "Did you see anything else when you were searching for it at night?"

Ranma raised an eyebrow. "Something... else? Like what? You mean other stray animals, or what?"

The redhead was silent for a few moments before he returned to his book. "Never mind. It's probably nothing."

Ranma scratched his head in confusion for a bit before finally ascending the stairs to the second floor.

Upon opening the door to his room, the pigtailed boy blinked in surprise before he sighed.

"You know, you should really just come in through the front door like everyone else. I think you're making my dad paranoid."

Min was laying face-down on Ranma's bed, flipping through a manga she had taken from Ranma's sparse collection. "Tsk, tsk. You really have no sense of drama, do you? Isn't it more romantic for a lover to sneak into her partner's home in secret?" she asked without turning toward the partner in question.

"Maybe if there's an actual REASON to sneak in, sure," Ranma mumbled as he tossed his bag to the side. "How did you get here so fast, anyway? I know I left school before you."

"Trade secret," Min said unhelpfully, closing the manga book. "So, hon! What exciting and SEXY adventures do you have in store today?"

"Well, I was thinking that we could go down to the beach and pummel some roaming thugs and then join a watermelon eating contest before topping everything off by having dinner by the sea at a beach house," Ranma said, scratching his chin.

Min stared at her boyfriend, utterly stunned. "Wait... really?"

"Nope. Turns out instead I have to take my little sister to a friend's birthday party," Ranma said, shrugging.

"Whaaaat?" Min whined, quite annoyed at the earlier misdirection. "Why do you have to go instead of your parents?"

Ranma chuckled slightly as he scratched the back of his head. "Well... I'm the clown."

"Huh?"

"Well, I'm not going to put on makeup or anything, but you know what I mean; does fire tricks, knows acrobatics, sleight of hand," the pigtailed boy ticked off his various showman's skills. "Also, I know a bit of magic, too."

Min frowned. "I didn't know you fancied yourself an entertainer."

"I didn't, until somebody mentioned it pays five thousand yen an hour," Ranma said, suddenly smiling.

Suddenly Min lurched upright, her expression serious. "I too know fire tricks, acrobatics, and sleight of hand."

Ranma snorted. "What, no magic?"

"Well, I can't turn into a boy, but if I may say so, I fill out a leotard way better than your shrimpy girl form," Min said smugly, puffing out her chest for emphasis.

"Excuse me?" the cursed martial artist asked, eyebrow raised. "Shrimpy? You've got, like, one cup size on me. Tops."

"Yeah, sure. You tell yourself that," Min said mockingly, folding her arms below her breasts.

Ranma's eyebrow twitched. "And putting that aside, your taste in clothes could use some work. I mean, really, your chest draws plenty of attention already. Most of your wardrobe just comes off as trying too hard."

Min bristled angrily. "What's that supposed to mean? What do YOU know about women's fashion?"

"Enough that I wouldn't be caught dead in that gaudy bathing suit you call a combat uniform," Ranma said condescendingly, staring at his girlfriend evenly as the young kunoichi glared back at him.

After a few seconds of silence, Min's expression fell. "This is a really weird argument."

Ranma's face darkened. "I think I just felt another piece of my masculinity wither and die."

"Ranma!" The teenage warriors turned to face the hall as Yurumi's voice came from beyond the door. "Are you almost ready? We should leave soon!"

"Ready in a sec!" Ranma called before turning back toward Min. "So, do you wanna tag along after all? I doubt the parents will pay for a second person, but if you want to be my assistant, I can give you... how about... ten percent."

"Fifty percent," Min said firmly.

"Twenty percent," Ranma offered.

"Fifty percent," Min said once more.

Ranma blinked. "No, see, when I start going higher, you're supposed to go lower..."

Min cupped her hands under her breasts and leaned forward, her eyes locked with Ranma's as she exposed maximum cleavage. "Fifty percent."

"That doesn't work on me," Ranma said, trying to sound annoyed despite the flush over his cheeks.

Min grabbed the pigtailed boy by the sides of his head, and then pulled his face into her chest as he cried out in surprise and flailed his arms. "Fifty percent."

"Aw wight! Aw wight! Hoo hin!" Ranma shouted into the soft pillows of flesh being crushed against his cheeks.

Min smiled as she released her flustered captive. "See what happens when you don't let me have my way? Resistance is futile."

Ranma turned away from the kunoichi, his face flushed badly as he straightened his clothes. "Yeah, yeah. If you're going to take half my money, then you'd better pull your weight, at least."

"Don't worry about it!" Min said cheerfully. "Taking a cover as an entertainer was a big part of my shinobi training! I've got this!"

"You do realize this is a **kid's** birthday party, right?" Ranma deadpanned. "So if your 'entertainment' involves some kind of strip sho-" he was silenced when Min smashed one of her war fans into his jaw, and winced as the kunoichi walked past him.

"Come on now, don't keep your sister waiting," Min admonished, pretending that Ranma hadn't asked that last question as she opened the door to his bedroom.

Yurumi, who had been standing outside, gaped in surprise at seeing Min emerge from her brother's room. "M-Min? What were you doing in there?"

"Nothing as exciting as what you're probably imagining," the ponytailed girl said as she patted Yurumi's head. "Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go!"

Yurumi watched wordlessly as Min practically skipped down the stairs, and then she glanced toward Ranma as the pigtailed boy trudged out of his bedroom while rubbing his jaw. "Well, whatever happened in there, you don't look too happy about it."

Ranma stopped as his eyes locked onto his sister's. "Tell me... at what age do girls learn to take boys' money and make them do their bidding?"

Yurumi blinked. "Learn? I thought we were born knowing that," she said curiously before smiling angelically. "By the way, can we stop for dinner after the party? Miki said there would only be cake and not much else, so we'll probably still be hungry afterward."

A lone tear crawled down Ranma's cheek as he imagined another chunk of his future paycheck being claimed by the women in his life.

* * *

Far across the city, in a derelict corner of Tokyo's red light district, a small, whitish blur could be seen bouncing across awnings, signs, and street lights as it made its way to the darkest reaches of the blighted urban landscape.

Few noticed the disturbance and even fewer gave it more than a passing thought; it was still early in the day, when most denizens of the underworld recovered from the previous night's debauchery, and even those that were up and about and aware enough to catch a glimpse of a dark green robe trailed by a whip of gray hair were all too happy to attribute the sight to whatever mood-altering substance they were enjoying at the time.

"Hey! You not leave now! You no pay yet!"

What was far more interesting to the few pedestrians wandering these sleazy streets was a burly, tattooed man walking away from a run-down tenement and being chased after by a petite Chinese girl in a scandalously short dress.

"You hear me! You stop now!" the girl shouted angrily, rushing forward and grabbing the hem of the man's shirt.

"Hey!" the man growled, turning around and throwing a backhand that the girl avoided neatly. "Don't touch me, slut! I 'aint giving you nothin'!"

"Why not? You get service, you pay!" the girl shouted back, trembling slightly. She had dodged the attack, but all the same didn't want things to get violent.

"Pfeh! You call that service? You 'aint worth my money," the thug scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest.

The prostitute fumed, balling her hands into fists. "You no complain five minute ago! You finish, you pay! That is deal! You no pay, you regret it!"

"Oh really?" the customer growled, glowering at the girl and cracking his knuckles. "And who's gonna make me regret it, exactly?"

_Thud!_

The Chinese girl blinked in confusion as the man collapsed in a heap, having apparently fainted.

After a moment, the cause of the sudden nap hopped upon the man's unconscious body, its unblinking, owlish gaze focusing on the young prostitute.

The girl paled slightly and stepped back, unsure as to what she was looking at. "What... it... it..."

Cologne nodded. "That's right, it's me. Please inform Hairspray that-"

"It is ghoul!" the Chinese girl screamed suddenly, her eyes wide.

_Thonk!_ Cologne's eyebrow twitched as she clubbed the girl lightly on the head. "Respect your elders, girl! Has the madam of this house taught you nothing?"

"Owww..." the girl rubbed the welt on her head as she stumbled toward the insensate customer, rifling through his pants for his wallet. "You know Hairspray? You Amazon?" It was very unusual for a member of Hairspray's old tribe to come calling for her, but she couldn't imagine that the ancient crone had come for the usual services they offered.

"That's correct, child. Is she in? I have need of her. Finish with that dolt and go fetch her," Cologne said, hopping off the man and trying to avoid eye contact with everyone around her as the girl collected her fee and then dashed into the adjacent building.

It wasn't that Cologne was prudish or naive about the darker economy that existed in the rotten core of all cities, or even that she necessarily disapproved of the world's oldest profession. It was simply the thought that there were perfectly good young women with Amazon warriors' blood working here that rankled the matriarch so. Cologne didn't presume to know the girls that Hairspray... "employed," nor was she certain that they would find a bloody, dignified life out in rural China better than being a whore in urban Japan, but she couldn't help but wonder what sort of chance these girls had really been given, to say nothing of what latent martial talent that could be wasting away serving the basest lusts of unscrupulous men.

After a few minutes of silent brooding next to the head of the insensate customer, Cologne saw the girl emerge from the tenement looking nervous.

"Ha-Hairspray say you can come. Is through front door, all way down hall and to right," the girl said, her already atrocious accent stuttering.

Cologne's eyes narrowed as she picked up her staff and walked slowly toward the door to the dirty old building. Normally she would have hopped there, but she decided that a more dignified appearance was warranted before she met with Hairspray again and walloped the insolent tramp.

'It's been barely a decade since she left China, and already the girl's senses have fled her,' Cologne thought to herself as she walked past the seedy bar on the first floor, ignoring the various squeamish noises and flabbergasted expressions that marked her passage. Giving the matriarch of the Amazons "permission" to enter one's dwelling for a meeting when she had personally requested one's immediate presence was acceptable only amongst the badly crippled and terminally ill, and even then some token effort to meet the request was expected for propriety's sake.

Not that Cologne was surprised by such a breach in etiquette. Hairspray was a former Amazon, but not one with any sort of respect for the village she left behind. While Shower was a noble warrior that had ended up in Japan through ironic circumstance and their stubborn, draconian laws, Hairspray was one who had willingly and deliberately turned her back on her people, dismissing them as barbaric lunatics in a world that had no more use for war. Disrespect was to be expected, if not tolerated.

Making her way down the aforementioned hall, Cologne stopped before the door and took a moment to compose a response and decide upon the best way to approach her unwilling "contact".

After a few seconds of coming up with nothing useful, she threw out that idea and fell back on the old Amazonian show of force; she was here as a representative of the barbaric "old ways" after all.

Raising her staff, Cologne lightly tapped each of the hinges on the door in quick succession before swiping the tip of her weapon through the door knob.

_Crack! Crrrreak..._ The door slowly tilted inward from the force of the tiny explosions, and after a few seconds fell to the floor with a resounding thud.

Cologne calmly stepped into the room over the fallen door, ignoring the surprised stuttering of one of the occupants as she glanced about.

"Wh-What the hell was th-that for?" came a voice from the corner. "What did you do?"

"You'll have to excuse the old fool," came a much calmer voice in response. "Where she comes from, they're not used to complicated technology like doors. And smashing things you don't understand is a basic tenet of Amazonian culture. Am I right, Matriarch?"

Cologne finally finished perusing the gaudy room and turned toward its occupants. "As insolent as ever Hairspray. I see a decade of living amongst foreign gutter trash hasn't humbled you one bit."

Hairspray was hardly an elderly woman, being in her mid-fifties, but the years had been hard on her and she seemingly hadn't benefited from the Amazons' legendary resilience. Dry gray hair hung elegantly over one shoulder as hard green eyes glared at the Amazonian elder. Hairspray had some time yet before she starting shrinking with age, but she was fairly short naturally. Wiry hands with hidden agility scratched irritably on the hardwood chair she was seated on like a queen on a throne, and delicate Chinese silks patterned with snakes and ivy hid the rest of her body from view.

"Hey, who're you calling gutter trash?" demanded the person next to the brothel matron. This... young adult, probably in the early twenties or late teens, had short, wild black hair and a thin, muscular body that seemed to defy all efforts at determining gender. The choice of clothes, a blue two-piece suit with black gloves, did nothing to swing opinion either way, nor did the individual's face, which would have seemed somewhat feminine were it not for a thick scar running straight down over the right eye and cheek.

"My apologies, child; I wouldn't presume to know which particular kind of trash you are," Cologne said, barely glancing over at the androgynous figure as she sized up Hairspray. "I suppose you act as Hairspray's bodyguard, then? Unless some of your patrons prefer the company of men."

Hairspray raised an eyebrow as her associate sputtered uselessly. "Miss Nanoya Hayate is a woman, actually. Though you were correct in that I employ her to take care of unpleasant customers and solicitors."

Cologne snorted. "That pointless ruse may work on the rest of your guests, but I know better than that," the elder Amazon explained as she pointed her staff over at the fuming bodyguard. "This 'woman' doesn't have a scrap of feminine ki in her entire body, and her mannerisms couldn't be more masculine if you trained her." The staff moved up over Hayate's utterly flat chest until it pointed straight at the guard's throat. "Furthermore..."

Cologne trailed off, and there was a long silence as Hairspray awaited the matriarch's verdict.

"Well? Go on," the former Amazon prodded, smirking slightly.

A sweatdrop rolled down Cologne's head as she stared up at the smooth curve of Hayate's neck, completely lacking any sign of an adam's apple. "Hmm..."

Frowning, Cologne tugged her staff back and then lashed out with it again.

_Thwack!_ "Hey!" Hayate shouted angrily as the matriarch jabbed her between the legs, eliciting a flinch and a thick flush, but nothing like the response a male having his genitalia smashed would have given.

"Anyway, as to why I'm here," Cologne said smoothly, turning away from the furious woman and trying to get the meeting back on track.

"Oi! You think you can insult me like that and then just drop it?" Hayate growled, her hands gripping into fists. "What was all that crap about 'feminine ki' and my mannerisms?"

Hairspray giggled slightly as she held up a hand. "Calm down, Hayate. The good elder simply puts too much faith in her arcane martial rituals that doing a simple thing like asking someone's gender and trusting the response becomes... difficult for her. She meant no offense."

Hayate looked unconvinced. "What about that earlier stuff about me being trash?"

"Oh. Well, yes, I suppose she did mean offense from that, but I expect she's just bitter about my making her come in to meet with me."

_Thwock!_ Hairspray's head reeled under the sudden impact of Cologne's staff, and Hayate gasped at the sheer speed of the attack.

"I knew you did that on purpose," Cologne grumbled as she glared up at the brothel matron.

"What the hell?" Hayate snarled, stepping between the two older women and putting up her fists. "Don't think a simple apology is going to be enough to get you out of here with all your bones intact, ghoul!"

_Bzrt!_ Cologne noted with great interest that a few arcs of electricity lashed back and forth between the cross-dresserﾒs fists, although any further display of the bodyguard's power were forestalled when Hairspray put her hand on the younger woman's shoulder.

"Let it go, Hayate. She could've done much worse, and quite frankly, I doubt you could stop her," the former Amazon mumbled. "Fighting IS the one thing these backwater cave women do well at, after all. But most importantly..." Hairspray smiled, "as our little old matriarch has been putting up with our abuse for this long, it would seem that she actually needs us for something."

"And if your androgynous little pet would stop interrupting me, we could get to what that is," Cologne grumbled as said androgynous pet reluctantly backed away to the wall. "Hairspray, I don't suppose you've heard of the name Yagami, have you?"

"I know a few," Hairspray said as she whipped out a fan to cool herself. "Are you looking for a client of mine?"

"I doubt it," the matriarch mumbled. "The elder of the family is happily married as I understand, and the younger isn't the type that would want or need your services," she explained. "I'm not certain how well-known they are around Japan. I'm looking for Yagami Ranma or his father, Yagami Iori."

Hairspray didn't have any apparent revelations from the names, but Hayate spoke up immediately. "Iori? You mean the bassist? Big guy, red hair, moon on his jacket?"

"A bassist?" Cologne asked as she turned to the younger woman. "An odd profession for one of the last few true masters of the martial arts and spiritual prison of a dark god."

"Is it? Neither of those things make much money," Hairspray noted dryly. "Out here in civilization, people usually need jobs beyond fighting."

Cologne rolled her eyes at the latest of the numerous verbal jabs. "Yes, yes, it is as you say," she deadpanned. "In any case, I'm searching for Yagami's son, Ranma. As well as my great granddaughter, Shampoo."

Hairspray raised an eyebrow. "Only one 'great'? Really?" _Thwonk!_

Hayate bristled as Cologne removed her staff from the new lump on Hairspray's head. "Cut that out! One more time and I swear I'm gonna trash you, old hag!"

The younger of the two Amazons grumbled as she rubbed her aching skull, unmindful of her bodyguard's temper. "Putting aside how many generations apart you really are, how did your own kin end up in another country without your permission?"

Cologne's eyes narrowed, although her unease seemed to be directly more inwardly than at her estranged tribe mate. "It was... a miscalculation on my part. She left entirely with my permission, though it was not my intention that she should go so far or be gone so long. She's currently on a fugitive hunt, you see."

"And this 'Ranma' is the fugitive?" Hairspray asked.

"No. The truth is not so sensible as that," the elder admitted. "The fugitive is an exile that escaped imprisonment before he could properly atone for his actions. He goes by the name of Mousse, and although I would not mind knowing where he is right now, I could barely care less about his fate." Then the matriarch drew a deep breath. "Shampoo was dispatched to hunt down Mousse, as she volunteered for the duty and I did not give her request adequate thought before allowing it. At the time I was occupied with... other issues. These other issues, when they were resolved, called on Ranma Yagami to be hunted down and destroyed."

Silence reigned in the room for several seconds as the gravity of the situation settled on the two younger women.

"You... do realize this is a brothel, right?" Hairspray finally asked, her expression squeamish. "You know what these girls do here?"

"Yes, I'm well aware," Cologne deadpanned. "But I-"

"I can assure you, if you saw any Ninja while making your way here, they were merely part of our cosplay services," the matron continued.

"Yes, yes, now I-"

"I know the costumes are very realistic, and the incense does tend to cloud one's mind, but even if I charged **triple rates**, we couldn't-"

_Whap!_ Cologne was mildly surprised to see her staff attack intercepted by Hayate's hand, and she couldn't help but smile as the rather manly girl snarled.

"What did I tell you, hag?" Hayate demanded, sparks blasting from her knuckles as she gripped the staff tighter. "I'm gonna turn you into lunch meeeeeeaagh!"

_Whump!_ Hairspray winced as her bodyguard was thrown haphazardly into the wall, knocking over a shelf and sending a few small, dusty urns crashing to the ground.

"Now look at the mess you made," Hairspray said in disgust. "I know you didn't have to do that."

"If we could put aside all these meaningless distractions," Cologne said wryly. "I know you have links to many criminal elements. I want you to use them to find Ranma Yagami and arrange for a confrontation. And Shampoo as well, if possible."

Hairspray snorted. "You treat your own kin as a mere afterthought? No wonder she fled the village."

If the elder Amazon took any offense at the notion, she didn't bother to show it. "My duties to the village and our law supersede those to my family. That is the burden of leadership and responsibility, something YOU would know nothing about."

"Of course; because running a dangerous business among Japan's urban decay doesn't require anything like leadership or responsibility," Hairspray spat, "at least, not of the sort that involves turning perfectly good young women into murderers."

"And what have you decided to turn them into instead?" Cologne asked blithely.

"Oi!" Hayate suddenly interrupted the argument as she stood up shakily, pieces of ceramic falling out of her hair, "Boss, what is this? Why do we have to listen to this withered old bitch?"

"To be perfectly frank, we don't," Hairspray admitted as she gazed down at the older woman. "Although I imagine that refusal would have... consequences."

Hayate bristled, obviously irritated at the prospect of being threatened.

"On the other hand, I suppose acquiescence would have equally considerable benefits, would they not?" the brothel mistress asked coyly, her eyes locked with Cologne.

Cologne had been fully expecting this, but still felt irked at having to bargain. "And what would you want from this 'old, backwater barbarian,' hmm? Do you truly want for anything here in the gutters of Japan?"

Hairspray appeared not to mind the taunt, quite pleased that Cologne had labeled herself so appropriately. "Oh, a few things here and there. Grocery chains are somewhat light on old Chinese herbal poultices, you know. I'll have your targets tracked down, but in exchange I want you to completely replenish my stocks of herb mixtures and extracts." Suddenly she snapped her fingers. "Oh! And those neat little shampoos you cave women are so proud of. Somebody used the last of mine."

Cologne was honestly surprised that the former Amazon was asking for so little, but properly masked her satisfaction. "Really? You let the girls here rifle through your ancient mind-altering alchemical potions?"

"Well, I suppose it's possible it was stolen, but I can't imagine who would want it; I can't think of anyone in Japan other than us who even know what they can do, never mind how to use them." She shrugged. "It hardly matters. Are the terms acceptable?"

"Agreed," Cologne said without further hesitation. "Shall I-"

"I only need two things from you:" Hairspray said, interrupting the older Amazon, "one is some way to reach you when I've located your boy. The second is a picture of the target as well as the story for why you want this kid dead."

Cologne almost recoiled at the second request. "You needn't know why-"

"When I left that glorified mud pit you call a civilization, I left behind its laws and the authority of you senile imbeciles that rule the mountain crags like delusional little queens," Hairspray snapped. "I am not your friend, not your sword-sister, and I'm NOT your servant, Cologne. I'm being asked to assist in homicide, and I will not blindly obey like one of your half-wit villagers. I will help you only after you explain in full detail what this boy is and what he has done to earn the ire of the Amazon state."

"Don't fool yourself into thinking you're indispensable to me," the elder hissed, "I have other tools at my disposal."

"And yet you came here, to bargain with someone who hates you and has every reason to turn you away," Hairspray droned. "I think you'll find I'm no less intelligent or more pliable than you remember, Cologne. What has the boy done?"

Cologne took almost a full minute before she finally began to divulge the tale, inwardly cursing the weakness of her current position. It was true that she had other options to find Ranma and Shampoo, but most were even more unpleasant than dealing with the former Amazon, and none were likely to yield better results. More importantly, using the brothel matron and her connections offered the best chance to hide her activities; it was of paramount importance that the Yagami family remained unaware that they were being hunted.

"Ranma Yagami is... a vessel. Trained as a warrior by his father, and possessing a poisonous heritage that has infected his entire family line, he has become the host body for a terrible, terrible being," Cologne explained with some trepidation.

Hayate snorted. "Are you serious? Do we really have to listen to this?"

Hairspray rolled her eyes. "Let her speak, Hayate. The old lunatics take this nonsense seriously. You may continue, Cologne."

The matriarch fought down the urge to wallop both of the younger women again. "The Yagami line hosts the remaining soul fragments of the dark god Orochi, best known from the common Japanese folk tale. I needn't bore you with most of the family's history, but it's worth noting that the family tree has been quite thoroughly pruned, and with each successive generations, as fewer and fewer Yagamis survive, the remnants have become stronger and stronger as the blood of Orochi calls ever more loudly to them."

"That can't be all," Hairspray mumbled as she leaned her cheek against her fist, "I'm sure your dusty archives back in the village can name dozens of dark, terrible beings that could suddenly burst into existence at any time and bring doom to all the world etc. etc."

"It's true. There is a... personal element to this verdict," Cologne said grimly. "This boy, due to his unfortunate heritage, already attacked and nearly laid waste to the village once before. After regaining his sanity he attempted to make amends for the assault, but as you well know, forgiveness is not a favored virtue among our people."

Hairspray smiled. "Interesting. May I ask what kept you from simply murdering the boy off the bat? Was he really that fearsome?"

"His power is great, yes, but it was another that truly stayed the hand of the village council. His father, Iori, is an... intimidating man," Cologne finished uncertainly, "and it was unknown at the time exactly how dangerous the Orochi's curse was, and what may await this world should it be allowed to run its course. After they left, we began researching the Yagamis and their power in earnest."

"And? What did you find?" the younger Amazon prompted.

"As far as the Yagami family goes, very little," Cologne admitted, "which is, naturally, why I am here now. What we DID find was a tome that described, in rather ominous detail, the procedure with which the Yagami clan gleaned the power of Orochi for themselves, and the repercussions of their foolish actions. To be sure, the clan has become a host for Orochi's shattered existence, slowly feeding the beast with their souls as each successive generation dies off. And now that existence is starting to awaken. It may not be within this generation, or even the next, but make no mistake: if Ranma Yagami is allowed to live, or worse, produce a child, calamity will tear this country to shreds."

Hayate whistled. "Lady, you are SERIOUSLY off your rocker."

"Yes, yes, that's very nice," Hairspray said dismissively as she leaned back in her chair. "Now if you'll just take a look at the foot locker back there, you can make a list of all the spices and whatnot that I need. Then we can go about destroying your dark god and saving all of Japan or whatever."

Cologne's eye twitched as Hayate gestured to the appropriate trunk, and then she stalked off to make the aforementioned list. It didn't really matter one bit whether Hairspray believed the story behind the Yagami family or properly realized how dangerous they were, but if the cynical old wench was going to demand an explanation, then Cologne expected her to at least care about what she had to say.

"Hayate," Hairspray said once Cologne had opened the trunk and was rooting through it, "get some info on this Iori fellow. If he's a music artist, it can't be that hard to find him. If you can, meet with him."

The androgynous woman nodded sharply. "You got it, boss."

"I'll mobilize some of our other... friends... to see if I can find this Shampoo girl. Considering she hasn't been featured in the local papers, she's obviously been keeping a lower profile than expected for an Amazon, but she should still stand out."

Then she frowned and turned to look at Cologne. "I forget; do you have cameras in the village, or are you afraid that they'll steal your soul?"

_Thwap!_ Hairspray was promptly smacked in the face with a photo packet, and she rubbed her nose as she unfolded the package.

"Ah, here we are... ooh, she's a pretty one. Are you sure you two are really related?" Hairspray taunted as she handed a clump of photographs to Hayate.

"Hey, is this that Ranma guy? He's cute too," she said, smiling for the first time since Cologne had seen the woman. "You're really gonna kill him? That's a damn waste."

Hayate glanced over at the matriarch, who was staring at her owlishly. "What?" she demanded angrily. "I'm into guys, okay? I'm no dyke!"

"I think she was more surprised by the fact that you'd still look at him as a man after being told that he was the container for a dark god and basically a walking apocalypse," Hairspray mused.

Cologne was silent for a few seconds. "No, she was right. You should really consider dressing a little more nicely, child. Or at least try on a little lipstick."

"Mind your own business!"

* * *

"And for my next trick, I will summon a rabbit out my hat! Of fire!"

Ranma, dressed in a tuxedo and top hat and being flanked by Min, who was dressed in her blue Ninja uniform, gestured extravagantly before the crowd of two dozen young children before taking off his hat.

He began to wave his hand over the upside-down hat when he hesitated. "Just to be clear, it's the rabbit that's gonna be on fire, not the hat. I don't do fire hat tricks."

He started waving his hand again, but once again stopped. "Actually, I guess I could do fire hat tricks, but I didn't practice any, and kids are supposed to like animals mo-"

"Shut up and make a bunny!" one of the girls in the back shouted, causing Ranma to wince.

"All right, all right, yeesh," Ranma snapped his fingers over the open bottom of his top hat, and the children gasped as a bright purple glow came from within. A moment later a burning purple shape that vaguely resembled a rabbit poked its head out, and over the squeals and cheers of the crowd, jumped out of the hat before bursting into a small fireball and vanishing from sight.

"Thank you, thank you," Ranma took a bow as he put his hat back on, and then straightened. "Now for my next trick..."

He trailed off as he noticed that many of the kids were pointing at him and gaping. "What? What's wrong?"

"Y-Your hat! It's all purple!" one boy in the front exclaimed in awe.

Ranma blinked dumbly as his top hat continued to disintegrate, being eaten away by the purple flames that spread around it. "Purple? No, my hat is black, isn't it?"

As the last of his hat crumbled to ash, Ranma turned to Min. "Min, what color is my hat, again?"

Min blinked innocently and then took a purple top hat out from behind her back, seemingly from nowhere. "It looks purple to me. What a smart little boy!"

Ranma grimaced as he dusted off his hair briefly and put on the new hat. "Well, next I think I'll create a flock of burning doves and-"

"Hey, how come all you do are fire tricks?" the girl from before demanded, drawing a few annoyed glances from the audience and a strained smile from Ranma.

"That's not true! I've got lots of tricks!" Ranma insisted.

Immediately, the pigtailed boy turned around just as Min was hefting a pitcher of fruit punch to throw at him. "Not yet! Put that down!"

Min pouted but did as she was told, and Ranma turned back toward the children.

"All right, since I have a request, I'll do a disappearing trick! Min, if you would hand me that plate of cupcakes..."

Raising an eyebrow, Min silently picked up a plate from the nearby refreshment table that was still full of chocolate-frosted cupcakes before handing it to Ranma.

"Thank you very much. Now, watch and be amazed!" the pigtailed boy commanded in a booming voice.

To the audience, all that happened was that Ranma suddenly started flipping the platter about between his hands, which wasn't too amazing, though some were impressed that desserts didn't go flying everywhere.

After a few seconds however, Ranma stopped the platter so that it was being held parallel to the ground, and nothing but a few dollops of chocolate frosting was left to indicate there had ever been anything there at all.

After a brief stunned silence the yard came alive with the sound of cheering and laughter, although there was one girl who was noticeably nonplussed by the trick.

Yurumi simply shook her head in embarrassment, having seen plenty of that "trick" during ordinary meals with her big brother.

Pausing to wipe a few crumbs off of the side of his mouth with his thumb, Ranma gestured behind him to Min. "And now the lovely and talented Min Bogard will entertain you while I find something to drink to wash down all this magic. Back in a bit, kids!"

Min happily took center stage as Ranma walked off, and she summoned her war fans seemingly from nowhere as she lashed her arms out to either side.

"All right, we'll start slow, just two fans, but if you want me to juggle something else, just toss it at me!" the kunoichi said with a grin.

Ranma stretched as he walked away from the gathered children toward the soda cooler, and he idly waved as he passed by Mister Ichiro, whose daughter had just turned eleven and who was thus hosting the party (and paying him, incidentally).

Taking out a soda and popping the tab, the martial artist looked out over the surrounding neighborhood as he chugged his beverage, finding the silent rows of houses oddly soothing.

'After spending that weekend in the middle of nowhere beating my friends bloody, something like this is kinda nice,' Ranma admitted to himself. Things like peaceful, ordinary birthday parties were things he had little exposure to growing up with Iori. Not that the elder Yagami cared much about Ranma having friends or having fun instead of training, but Ranma's own passion for martial arts, along with Iori's being a fantastic buzz kill with his very presence, ensured that he had rarely taken opportunities for simple childhood pleasures.

It was certainly strange to him, now, to be slowly getting drawn into a relatively "normal" teenage life; taking care of his little sister, studying in school, and even dating...

That thought reminded him that he had left Min holding the audience's attention, and while he was determined to make sure she did half the work if she was going to claim half the profits, he didn't want to leave her alone for too long.

Ranma was just turning around to go back to the yard when he spotted a white blur bouncing along the rooftops.

"Wait... is that..."

His eyes narrowing, Ranma quickly glanced toward Mister Ichiro. "I've gotta go check on something for a minute, okay? I'll be right back!"

Before the older man could respond, Ranma bolted toward the street, leaping over the yard fence in a single bound and then jumping onto a roof across the street with a second.

* * *

Mousse was rarely in a good mood nowadays.

Even putting aside the greater drama of his condemnation and exile from the place he called home, the agony of unrequited love for a woman who despised him, and his humiliation at the hands of his worst enemy whom said woman certainly seemed to be way too friendly with, he was still plagued with plenty of inconveniences and suffering just surviving day by day.

Camping out was only a viable way of living in the wilderness, to be sure, as public parks didn't have nearly as much foraging opportunities. Although he took odd jobs when he wasn't busy annoying random people in his search for Shampoo, those jobs were few and far between, and he wasn't very good at them; half the time his abysmal vision ruined his efforts, even with tasks that didn't depend on vision.

He was on his way back from one such job now. Specifically, a failed job. More specifically, a food delivery in which the customer insisted they had ordered two bowls of pork udon, and NOT an air purifier.

Like it was HIS fault the damn owner kept putting the delivery boxes next to vaguely delivery-box sized objects.

Such it was that the male Amazon was already in a plenty foul mood that was not helped one bit when a blur wearing a familiar black jacket landed in front of him on the roof.

"Mousse! Haven't seen ya in a bit, man! What's up?" Ranma asked, smiling.

_Whoosh!_ Ranma leaned to one side as a cutting wheel zipped past his shoulder.

"Hey! What was that for?" the pigtailed man asked, his smile dropping.

"What do you mean, 'what was that for'?" Mousse asked as he stuck one arm to the side before dozens of spear heads erupted from within his sleeve. "I hate you. I want to kill you. I throw sharp things at you whenever I can. This is how the world is and should be."

As Ranma leapt over a wide spread of hurled spears, he grabbed one of the projectiles and turned it upright, landing back onto the roof so that he was holding on to the weapon as he balanced the butt on the rooftop.

"Okay, yeah, good point," Ranma admitted, "and don't take this the wrong way - I totally hate you too and everything - but forget about that for a minute and follow me. I have this gig going on that you'd be perfect for."

Mousse's jaw hung open for a minute. "What are you talking about? I'm not going anywhere with you! Either fight me or get out of my way!"

"So if I beat you, then you have to do what I say, right?" Ranma asked hopefully.

"THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS!" Mousse protested. "I'm in the middle of a job right now! Give me one good reason why I should even CONSIDER following my mortal enemy to participate in some 'gig'!"

Ranma considered the question. "Well... it pays pretty good..."

* * *

_Flap! Flap! Flap!_ Dozens of doves poured from Mousse's sleeves as the children watched in open-mouthed awe.

"Hmph. This much is nothing," the bespectacled Amazon said haughtily as he swept his other hand around. Tumbling out of his sleeve came a bird feeder perched on a four-foot iron pole.

Mousse promptly sat the feeder upright, and several of the doves turned around mid-flight and descended on the feeder to eat.

Applause and laughter filled the yard as Mousse basked in the attention of the children. Ranma and Min stood behind the Chinese boy, the former looking curiously pleased while the latter simply looked curious.

"Hey, none of the doves caught on fire!" one boy pointed out. "All the other animals were on fire!"

Ranma sweatdropped. "Uh... I'd rather not do the fire trick on his animals, actually," he explained awkwardly. "Our, um, 'magic' doesn't mix, ya know?"

Mousse snorted as he stretched out his arms again. "You just find a spot to sit down and watch, Yagami. I don't need your help for something like this."

Ranma shrugged and backed away, looking, if anything, rather pleased that the Amazon boy was stealing his show.

"Hey, Ranma? Who is this guy, again?" Min asked, still totally confused that a complete stranger came along and took over entertaining the kids.

"His name is Mousse. He's one of my mortal enemies," Ranma explained as the Chinese boy started juggling scimitars.

"ANOTHER ONE?" Min asked, slapping a hand over her face. "How many mortal enemies do you HAVE?"

"I'm pretty sure you know them all by now," Ranma said, counting off on his fingers. "There's Kuno, although that's run its course, so I'm not sure he counts anymore, and then there's Ryoga, who's kind of got this whole 'rivalry' theme going on, and then there's Mousse. He's the only one I have a real grudge against, so I guess that makes him my... mortalest enemy? Is that a thing?"

Min raised an eyebrow as she watched Mousse drop a hunk of wood onto the ground and then start revving a chainsaw. "So... why did you invite him here to do a kid's show rather than, say, beat him into a pile of bloody bruises?"

"I can do that any time," Ranma insisted, scoffing, "but this is the only chance I'll get to foist half my job onto him."

Min's expression shifted further, and this time she looked decidedly irritated as she pointed out, "I had to almost fight you to get you to let ME help."

Ranma weaved his hands together behind his head as he watched Mousse carve the wood with the chainsaw with shocking speed and precision. "Yeah, well, I figured since I'm losing out on half the money already, it's no big deal to go from half to a third, right?"

"Hey! You promised me fifty percent!" Min protested.

"Oh, come on! You got to quit early too!" Ranma refuted as Mousse finished carving a bear from the log. At least, it looked like a bear to him. Everybody else just saw a vaguely four-legged blob with teeth, which many of the children found hilarious anyway.

"I didn't agree to anything!" the kunoichi insisted, holding her ground.

"Don't be so petty," Ranma countered as he approached Mousse, who was now juggling three roaring chainsaws, "besides, if you're going to complain about getting less money, you should be helping out rather than arguing."

Before Min could respond, Ranma suddenly stepped up next to Mousse and happily addressed the crowd. "Amazing, isn't he? And if you thought juggling three chainsaws was good, how about three chainsaws ON FIRE?"

As the children gasped in anticipation, Mousse blinked. "Wait. Fire's on the what now?"

Ranma's response was to sweep in front of the Amazon briefly, quickly tapping each chainsaw in mid-air before stepping off to the side again.

_Fwoom!_

"UGAH! Ow! Ow! OW!" Mousse screamed in pain as streaks of purple flame wrapped around the roaring power tools, still juggling the machines carefully lest he suffer something worse than a burn. "You idiot! OW! Don't do something that OW! Dangerous! OW! Here, YOU take them!"

With that, Mousse grit his teeth and tossed each chainsaw to Ranma as they came down.

Ranma shrugged and caught the first chainsaw by itshandle before tossing it up, followed by the second and third.

Within a few seconds he was juggling all three flaming chainsaws, but without any of the screaming that had come from Mousse.

"Oh. Right," the Chinese boy grumbled as he shook his hands to cool them.

Ranma grinned as the kids clapped, and the burning purple flames started to build further around each chainsaw. "Just trying to spice things up! Don't mind me, go on with your sho-"

_Boom! Boom! Boom!_ Ranma let out a gargled shout as the chainsaws exploded one by one around him, the engines having been burnt through by the flames all the way to the gasoline chambers.

The kids apparently thought this was hilarious, and there was a great deal of laughing as the pigtailed boy wiped soot off his face and started picking burnt metal out of his hair.

He actually wouldn't have minded so much - it WAS kind of funny in hindsight - if Mousse hadn't been laughing the hardest.

"Ha ha ha ha ha! How's that, idiot foreigner? Didn't see that coming, did you?" the Chinese boy cackled as he adjusted his glasses.

"Yay! More explosions!" several of the kids shouted as they cheered an jumped up and down. Yurumi was the only one that seemed to be worried about the sudden and unexpected detonations, although even she had to keep herself from laughing as Ranma rubbed his face clean.

"Well, you heard the audience, didn't you?" Mousse said with a vindictive grin as his hands emerged from his sleeves, each one holding a small black bomb.

Ranma's irritated expression suddenly melted into a grin. "Wait, you think YOU'RE going to do this part?" with a thought, his hands lit ablaze. "Explosions are my specialty!"

Mousse grit his teeth as he took a step back, uncertain about escalating this further; now that he thought about it, Ranma's techniques DID far surpass his in that particular department.

"All right, you two calm down," Min said suddenly as she approached from behind, her hands behind her back, "why don't we try some less dangerous magic?"

Some of the boys in the audience booed, but Min ignored the tepid response as Ranma glanced at her questioningly.

"What kind of mag-" he trailed off as Min suddenly thrust an open bottle of water at his face.

"Oh," Ranma said blithely as her breasts pushed against her shirt, straining the buttons holding it closed.

"WHOA!" Though she wanted to be annoyed by Min's unexpected improvisation, as a showman she couldn't help but feel proud as the children gaped in wonder and amazement at seeing a man instantly change into a woman.

Even the little brat who was bad-mouthing his fire tricks had shut up.

"Hah hah! I see you've had a taste of my special magic water!" Mousse said suddenly, taking the unexpected turn and running with it. "When splashed with it, it shows what kind of person you are on the inside! Who knew you were so closely in touch with your feminine side, Ranma?"

A vein throbbed on Ranma's head, but she forced out an awkward laugh rather than a fireball. 'This is for the children. This is for the children. There's money involved too, but this is definitely for the children...' she thought before posing to make the change more apparent.

Min smirked. "Magic water, huh?"

Mousse nodded seriously. "Yes! Magical Chinese water! I had to bring it all the way across the sea!"

"Well, then, let me give it back!" Min chirped as she dumped the rest of the bottle on Mousse. "Well, let's see what kind... of... person... you are..."

The kunoichi gulped as she stared up into the knife-toothed maw of a demonic beast, her eyes bulging out of her sockets.

Ranma leaned over to whisper in her ear. "Oh yeah, I forgot to mention before, but he's cursed too. It's a bad one, so be careful, okay?"

"Little late," Min squeaked as the empty water bottle tumbled out of her numb, trembling fingers.

"WELL. THIS IS QUITE IRONIC," Mousse said stoically from where he towered over the assorted humans, "ALTHOUGH I PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE SEEN THIS COMING."

"You never see ANYTHING coming," Ranma interjected, hands on her hips.

Mousse might have come up with a rebuttal so that the cursed teens could start a proper insult-throwing match then and there, but it was about at that time that the children who were watching finally snapped out of their stupefied wonder.

"Oh, wow! It's a bear!"

"No way! There are no bears that big!"

"Does this mean that the glasses guy is a monster on the inside?"

"So cool! I wanna be a monster, too!"

"Well, look at that! Someone wants to be a bitter, useless monster when they grow up!" Ranma said, grinning as Mousse glared at her.

"IF THESE KIDS WEREN'T TOO YOUNG FOR HORROR THEMES, I'D TEAR YOUR ARMS OFF," Mousse snarled.

Then he turned around, his mouth stretched in a toothy smile. "BUT, SINCE THIS IS WHAT IT IS... WHO WANTS TO RIDE THE BEHEMOTH?"

"I do!" several girls and boys cried out as they scrambled to their feet.

"OKAY, OKAY. THE BIRTHDAY GIRL GETS FIRST TURN!"

* * *

Mousse - now back in his human form, thankfully - breathed a sigh of relief as Ranma - also a boy again - handed one bill after another to him.

"Four, four and a half, five thousand," Ranma said as he handed Mousse his cut of the afternoon's spoils. "There you go. One third of three hours of entertainment."

"Thank you, Mister Mousse!" Yurumi said happily as she stood next to her brother. "You were really amazing! Especially your cursed form! It was so cool!"

Mousse smirked as he chuckled. "Of course it was! Way better than Ranma's pathetic cursed body!"

A vein popped up on Ranma's head before he turned his head away. "Well, I suppose it's only fair, when my REAL body is so much better than yours..."

Mousse snapped his head up. "What was that? You want to fight now?"

"Nah, not really," Ranma mumbled as he turned to Min and started handing her her earnings, "we can if you want, but I'm not really in the mood, are you?"

The Chinese boy glared for several seconds, but then he turned around sharply. "No, I suppose your doom can wait for another day." Then he frowned. "Although... I've been meaning to ask..."

Ranma finished giving Min her share - although she looked slightly unsatisfied - and turned toward his old enemy. "Eh? What?"

"Why did you offer me this?" Mousse asked guardedly. "Surely even YOU could accomplish something like entertaining a few kids."

"Oi, save your condescending talk for after you actually beat me at something, four-eyes," Ranma snapped. "For your information, I just thought your techniques would be perfect for the job, that's all. Better than mine, anyway."

Mousse stepped back, surprised. The great and arrogant Ranma Yagami, admitting inferiority? "You... think my techniques are that amazing?" he asked, completely flat-footed.

Ranma raised an eyebrow. "More like, they'd be way better for entertaining at parties than actually fighting."

Mousse promptly collapsed to his knees as a dark haze settled over him.

"Hey! Min!" Yurumi whispered, tugging on the kunoichi's blouse (she had long since changed out of her show uniform). "Is something wrong? Why are they fighting?"

"Oh, he's just one of your brother's mortal enemies. Ignore it," Min responded, rubbing the little girl's head.

"What? Another one? How many does he have?" Yurumi asked, sighing.

"I know, right?"

Mousse sprang to his feet in an instant, his angry, hateful expression now back in practice. "It doesn't matter to me what you think of my techniques! They will be the end of you, Yagami!" he suddenly turned away sharply. "However, for now there's no point in fighting! I gain little from crushing you if Shampoo isn't present, so on this one occa-"

"**Setsuben chuu**!"

"-setsu wha?" Mousse asked right before a fist surrounded by a sphere of shimmering blue slammed into his head.

Ranma whistled as Mousse was promptly encased in ice, the Chinese boy's expression frozen in a state of painful shock from the knuckles smashing into his cheek.

"Hi Shampoo. Long time no see," the pigtailed boy said casually as Shampoo promptly picked the Mousse statue up over her head.

"Nihao, Ranma! Shampoo so happy see you!" the Chinese girl chirped before she hurled her frozen suitor off the sidewalk and into traffic.

Min and Yurumi, who had both been fairly stunned at the sudden, unprovoked attack, were now staring fully bug-eyed as a passing truck let out a long honk and tried to swerve.

"Hey, was that a new technique? Neat!" Ranma said brightly before wincing at the sound of the truck's screeching tires. "You shouldn't throw things into the street, though. You could cause an accident and someone could get seriously hurt."

Shampoo stuck her tongue out as she knocked the side of her head with her fist. "So so sorry! Shampoo not do it again!"

"H-Hey," Min said uncertainly, a dreading look across her features, "that guy might seriously be dead, you know?"

Shampoo smiled brightly, her face unusually flushed and full of joy. "Is fine! He human trash, so is better off dead!"

Yurumi's eyebrow twitched as Ranma offered an awkward shrug and said, "Well, that's how it is, so..."

As the other two girls gaped, Shampoo tried to calm herself down as her heart pounded in her chest. While she would have loved to attribute her racing pulse to meeting Ranma again after such a long time without seeing him, she knew it was her use of the soul of ice that was rendering her dizzy and restless.

She had been warned that turning to the soul of ice and back quickly would wreak havoc with her emotions, but she didn't really want to meet Ranma in her emotionless battle state, and Mousse had been such a perfect target where he was standing.

"Shampoo spend long time training with Amazon master here in Japan!" Shampoo said brightly, "is much, much better now!"

"All right, well..." Ranma seemed to think something over briefly, and then turned toward Min. "Hey Min, could you take Yurumi home for me?"

"Huh? Where are you going?" Min asked, suddenly on her guard.

"Well, since I just got paid and happened to meet up with Shampoo, I can take her somewhere so we can chat," Ranma said, brandishing his pay.

Min was acutely aware of how Shampoo seemed to light up at the suggestion, and a vein popped up on her head as she planted her hands on her hips. "Hey, what do you think you're doing, taking another girl on a date right in front of your girlfriend?"

Ranma rolled his eyes. "I'm not doing anything like that. I'd invite you along too, but someone needs to see Yurumi home, right?"

Min pouted in a clearly exaggerated manner before turning toward Yurumi and patting the younger girl on the head. "All right Yurumi, it looks like your big brother doesn't want us around anymore. Since I got paid too, why don't we go somewhere to have fun on our own?"

"All right! Let's go!" Yurumi said cheerfully, grabbing onto Min's arm and totally forgetting about the battered and bleeding Chinese boy who was even now dragging himself clear of the street.

Ranma snorted as the two girls left. "Yeesh. Those two are so demanding," he grumbled as he turned back to Shampoo. "Anyway, where do... you... uh..."

He trailed off as he saw that Shampoo's expression had changed completely; her posture was rigid and her arms were held ramrod straight at her sides. Her eyes were lidded and her expression seemed frozen into a small frown.

He also couldn't help but notice the shimmering blue light that had encompassed his Chinese friend, nor the frost that had formed at her feet and was slowly creeping over the sidewalk.

"Shampoo? Are you okay?" the pigtailed boy asked. "If you want to show me your techniques, we can do it later, right?"

Shampoo didn't seem to hear him, and raised a hand in front of her face. Opening her hand, a small spike of ice started to form from the middle of her palm, and then started slowly growing as moisture from the air rapidly collected around the formation and froze.

"Or... Or we can stay here and you can do ice sculptures," Ranma offered, shrugging, "whatever you wanna do."

"Is true?" Shampoo said suddenly, her voice betraying nothing as she started blankly at the growing icicle. "Is ninja girl Ranma girlfriend now?"

"Oh, that. Yeah, things kind of worked out like that," Ranma admitted, crossing his arms over his chest. "I was fine with just being friends, but she kept pushing and I didn't really have a reason to turn her down, you know?"

_CRACK!_ Ranma jumped as Shampoo suddenly crushed the ice formation in her hand, sending chunks of icicle raining down to her feet.

"Ah... Shampoo see," the Amazon deadpanned, finally making eye contact with Ranma again. "Shampoo too too... happy... for you, Ranma."

"You don't seem all that happy, but thanks anyway," Ranma mumbled. "So... about dinner..."

"Sh-Sham... poo..." Mousse groaned as he finally dragged himself to within arm's reach of his beloved. "I'm so... glad you're b-back," he said, raising a trembling hand toward the other Amazon.

Shampoo turned on the Chinese boy immediately, cupping her hands together above her head as a sphere of ice rapidly coalesced into her palms.

"You die now," she said in a perfectly calm tone as she slammed the orb downward.

Ranma's face darkened as he watched Shampoo hammer Mousse with the sphere, shattering it (and probably a good number of Mousse's bones) before a wave of frost swept over her unwanted suitor and stuck him to the ground.

"Er, wait, I think he's had enough, okay?" Ranma said a bit nervously. Tossing the idiot into danger was one thing, but he didn't really want to see Shampoo bludgeon him to death. "He actually helped me out a little today, so it's not like he's in the way..."

Shampoo hesitated as she raised her foot, her conviction to see the exiled tribesman smashed into a red paste just as deadened as all her emotions when the soul of ice was active.

With a click of her tongue, Shampoo whipped around and walked past Ranma. "We go eat now."

"Ah... yeah. Sure," Ranma said uncertainly, wondering what the heck had gotten into the girl. "Right behind you."

* * *

"Hmph. Didn't take long at all to find the right place," mused Hayate as she dashed along the rooftops.

Reaching the edge of a two-story house, she bunched up her legs and made a powerful leap, landing heavily atop the next house and leaving a pair of deep cracks in the roof tiles where she landed.

Taking no heed of the damage, she grabbed on to a satellite dish and swung herself around before landing on a balcony and then hopping down onto a wooden fence.

"There we are. That must be the place," Hayate mumbled as she walked casually along the fence top, pulling a wrinkled printout from her pocket that detailed where her target was. "Huh. Looks normal enough. Not like the spooky lair of a dark god. It was pretty easy to find, too. That old hag must be pretty clueless if she can't find someone as famous as Iori Yagami."

She took out a digital camera as she approached the house, eventually leaping up to grab onto a street light and pulling herself up on top. "Then again, Lady Spray did say she was some kind of primitive. I guess there are still people in this world who've never heard of a Google search."

As she raised the camera and got the house in focus, Hayate hesitated. "Hmm... wonder if there's even a point to photographing the place?" Hayate wondered aloud. "Nothing strange about it."

"The only thing strange around here is you," came a deadpan voice from below.

Hayate blinked and glanced down. Standing below her was a muscular girl with short, spiky red hair and an expansive tattoo on her right arm.

"What are you doing up there?" Setsuna Hanabo asked, her eyes narrowing slightly as the tension jumped up a notch.

Hayate felt a dozen danger alarms in the back of her head, but decided to try and play it cool; she was in (supposedly) enemy territory, and starting any fights with the locals wouldn't benefit her even if she won.

"I'm just taking in the sights," Hayate said, standing up straight and shrugging, "I'm surprised Nerima is as quiet and normal as it is; I'd heard there were a lot of powerful weirdos running around."

"There are," Setsuna deadpanned as she continued staring at the androgynous bodyguard, "with more arriving every day, it would seem."

A vein throbbed on the side of her head, but Hayate kept a strained smile in place as she twisted around in place. "Well, I'm going to go find a more scenic picture. Laters."

As Hayate bounded from the street light and onto a retainer wall, she suddenly heard the sound of tearing steel, and the bodyguard quickly twisted around into a roundhouse kick.

_Clang!_ A mail box that had been ripped from the sidewalk was sent flying from the attack, nearly folded in two as it spilled letters out onto the street.

"What the hell was that?" Hayate demanded in a panic as she stared at the redhead, who had obviously thrown the mail box. "Don't throw mail boxes at people! Tampering with the mail is a crime!" she bellowed, shaking a fist at her assailant.

"I really couldn't care less," Setsuna said as she started cracking her knuckles, "you have a good reaction time. I'd like to fight you before one of the stronger lunatics that run around this precinct show up and get in the way."

"Wh-What? Why? Leave me alone!" Hayate stuttered. "I'm just here to see the sights! I'm not looking for trouble!"

"Bull," Setsuna deadpanned. "You're as suspicious as they come, you're obviously trying to spy on somebody around here, and you've been on edge and fully alert since long before I spoke to you, as if you're expecting to be attacked at any moment."

"Urk..." Hayate gulped as she tried to come up with a response to that utterly factual assessment of her activities. "So... which one of those things gives you the right to start throwing things at me?"

"Suspicious people skulking around people's homes shouldn't be surprised when other suspicious people cause trouble for them," Setsuna said matter-of-factly as she bunched up her legs.

Hayate looked confused as she mumbled, "Wait, so you admit that you're sus-YOW!"

The cross-dresser barely managed to dart away off of the retaining wall before Setsuna's fist tore through the space her throat had occupied a fraction of a second ago.

Hitting the ground hard, Hayate rolled along the ground before bouncing up onto her feet. "CHRIST! Were you trying to kill me?"

Setsuna, who had cleared the wall with her initial attack, bounced up over the barrier a moment later before landing heavily on the ground. "Ah, you're fast. Good. The last... 'person' I fought was a brawler. You'll make good practice."

"Oh God, they were right; this district IS full of psychos!" Hayate moaned. Not that she would consider herself a harmless, innocent woman, but even she hadn't expected to be accosted by someone strong enough to trouble her as soon as she had arrived, before she had even made contact with her target.

"Stop your whining," Setsuna snarled as she pulled her hands into fists that hung limply at her sides. "If you don't start fighting back, you might die."

"That's too extreme a punishment for loitering!" Hayate protested as the redhead started moving forward, accelerating slowly but surely toward her foe.

The cross-dresser tried to bolt away to the side, but Setsuna was still moving slowly enough to change course easily without losing momentum, and within seconds had broken into a full sprint that threatened to overtake Hayate immediately.

"Go away, you lunatic!" Hayate screamed as she ran onto the hood and roof of a car and then leapt for another street light.

Setsuna vaulted straight after her, catching the bodyguard in mid-jump and shoving her straight down, causing Hayate to impact the ground roughly as the redhead landed a few meters ahead.

"You won't get away, weakling," the gloomy vagrant growled as she turned around.

Hayate coughed as she pushed herself to her hands and knees. "The hell I won't..."

The cross-dresser bounced up to her feet, and then slammed her knuckles together, causing a burst of sparks and a stray electric arc to flash around them.

"**Shock Bomb**!" as Hayate drew her fists apart, ribbons of electricity lashed between her knuckles, as if trying to grab onto the bodyguard's hands and pulled them closed again. After a few moments, however, she suddenly released the tension in her arms, and her fists crashed together once more.

_CRACK! BOOM!_ Setsuna raised an eyebrow as a blast of thunder roared from the impact, and she watched expressionlessly as whips of bright blue electricity lashed out from the center of the explosion, latching onto nearby street lights and searing black streaks into the sidewalk.

"Ha! Ya like that?" Hayate asked, grinning suddenly as the electric storm quickly subsided. "Why don't you just wander off now before I have to hurt you?"

Setsuna was silent for a few seconds before her frown deepened ever so slightly. "You don't actually fight many people at your own level often, do you?"

"Eh?" Hayate blinked, wondering about the total lack of surprise, fear, or even mild interest in her opponent. "What makes you say that?"

"You used that attack when there was no chance of actually hitting me with it; I now know your formation stance, the time it takes to initiate, its area of effect, and how long it lasts. You gave away an advantage, and for what? To scare me? Are you an idiot?" Setsuna asked blandly, shaking her head.

Hayate stared at her opponent blankly, slowly digesting what she said. It was true that she very rarely fought anyone that was around her level of strength, as she made her living beating up thugs and deadbeats, but even so she felt that the redhead should have been surprised enough by seeing a human generate a thunderclap not to take such careful measure of the technique.

"Whatever," Setsuna finally mumbled, raising a hand into the air as her eyes narrowed, "I'll finish you quickly th-"

"YAHOO! I did it!"

Both girls were surprised at the screeching, gleeful cackle, but resisted the urge to flinch despite the curiously powerful, inherent disgust the voice generated deep within their stomachs. Setsuna had long since learned to tune herself out to premonitions of danger and unease to keep herself calm under any circumstances; there was little, if indeed **anything**, that could faze her.

Hayate, on the other hand, was simply more familiar with the disturbing cackling of lecherous old men than any woman really should have to be.

"Ha ha ha! Whatta haul! Whatta haul!" laughed Happousai as he hopped over the perimeter wall of the Yagami household, a clutch of underwear in his grasp. It wasn't his normal thievery sack, and the take wasn't even close to his usual volume, but today's outing was special, after all.

Hell, given his objective, he was quite lucky to have escaped unharmed, never mind with a bonus.

As Happousai hopped over a few speeding cars and landed on the sidewalk opposite the victimized home, the lecherous old master froze, his senses tingling into awareness.

They were not, as one might expect, danger senses - actually, there was some of that, too, but he ignored it - but rather the scent of young women in the midst of heavy exertion, a heady musk that sent his mind straight to the edge of madness as his libido ramped up fully into high gear.

"Ha ha ha ha ha!"

Setsuna and Hayate both took a wary step back as the tiny old man laughed, each of them pretty much struck dumb by the bizarre turn of events.

"Pretty ladies!" Happousai cackled as his head snapped to the side, locking onto Setsuna and traveling up and down her body.

In a moment his head twisted the other way, and Hayate gulped as she felt him mentally undressing her.

"Pretty ladies! Come to me... pretty... ladies..." Happousai's voice petered out as he turned back to Setsuna, glanced her over again, and then turned a shifty stare toward Hayate.

"That's weird," Happousai said, suddenly emerging fully from lusty mode and scratching his bald head as he looked around normally. "I could have sworn I sensed some teenage girls around here. Have you two seen any?"

Hayate's gaze darkened as a vein pulsed on her forehead. "Hey! Who do you think you're talking to, idiot?"

Happousai gave the androgynous woman another once-over. "Oh! You're that doorman from the big Chinese cat house downtown!" the old master said shamelessly. "I remember you! What're you doing around here? Do you live in this neighborhood?"

Another vein popped up. "Don't chat me up like I'm your old work buddy!" Hayate growled. "Apologize for what you just said!"

Happousai frowned, but eventually shrugged his tiny shoulders.

And then he turned around and bowed his head to Setsuna.

"Sorry about that, Miss. You're obviously a teenage girl as well, and it was rude of me to suggest otherwise. Butch ones just aren't my type, you know?"

Setsuna, who had been completely silent throughout the whole exchange, finally responded as she cocked her head to one side. "It doesn't matter to me. She seems to care, though."

At the redhead's prompting, Happousai glanced behind him to see Hayate shaking quietly as the odd spark of electricity flared from around her quaking fists.

"She? Where's a she?" Happousai asked, turning back toward Setsuna. "Was there another girl here besides you?"

The low growl that had been issuing from Hayate's mouth suddenly became a howl as she slammed her fists together above her head.

_KRACKA-BOOM!_ Lightning surged upward as a sphere of sparking blue light enveloped the bodyguard, and Happousai hopped back in surprise as the manly young woman was surrounded by ribbons of surging electricity like an angry god.

"SUCK ELECTRIC DEATH, YOU OLD BASTARD!" Hayate screamed, surging forward as blue pinpricks of light appeared in the sky. "**Imperial Storm**!"

"Yeep!" Happousai leapt back as a lance of electricity stabbed into the ground, exploding like a miniature bomb as whips of lightning flailed about the impact.

_Boom! Boom! Boom!_ Happousai, lacking any real incentive to stay and fight, yelped as lightning rained down from the sky like artillery, making what little hair he had stand on end as he fled the scene.

"You won't get away from me! You get back here and apologize, you prick!" Hayate howled, launching herself after the lecherous old man and kicking up a dust cloud that sparked and writhed with electricity.

Setsuna watched silently as the pair ran off, debating whether or not to give chase and continue trying to fight the cross-dressing girl.

"Tch. So stupid," she grumbled, finally turning away. "She didn't use any of her real power against ME."

Feeling rather aggrieved at the bizarre and anticlimactic end to her fight, the redhead glanced over at the house that Hayate had been surveying, eying it critically.

'She was clearly someone with power, and that weirdo said that she was from a shady area. What would she want with a place like this?'

Setsuna remained there for a few more seconds, but quickly lost interest as she failed to see anything unusual.

'Whatever. I have more important things to do,' she thought to herself, turning around and walking away at the same time that a large, redheaded man in a black jacket started crossing the street toward the house in question.

* * *

"The soul of ice?" Ranma asked, blinking as he stopped eating his ramen.

Shampoo nodded, looking disinterested as she poked at her own food. "Is ancient Chinese Amazon technique what for keep calm in fight. Old Amazon what leave village long ago teach Shampoo."

"Oh, I get it!" Ranma said before slurping up more ramen. "That was the thing you used on Mousse, right? Pretty impressive!"

"Meh," Shampoo mumbled before gulping down some of her own food.

After several seconds of awkward silence, Ranma finally asked. "So... do you, like, have to use it ALL the time? I mean, you can let up now, can't you?"

Shampoo paused, and then shrugged her shoulders.

"Aw, c'mon Shampoo," Ranma tried, his smile waning. "It's weird for you to be so... cheerless. I mean, we're not fighting, right?"

Shampoo started to shrug again, but then stopped herself and locked her cold, hard eyes onto Ranma's. "Why not fight? Shampoo challenge Ranma."

Ranma sweatdropped as he massaged his head. "That's not what I-"

"Shampoo know what you mean, but want challenge Ranma and test strength. Is fine, yes?" Shampoo asked, quirking an eyebrow.

Ranma had a very bad feeling about this turn of events, but would have been hard-pressed to refuse a challenge even if he could find a clear and obvious reason to do so.

"Well, if you're gonna insist," Ranma mumbled as he pulled up another roll of noodles, "sure, we can have a match. But not today; Yurumi and Min are probably waiting for me at home."

"Is fine," Shampoo mumbled as she stood up.

Ranma gulped down his current mouthful before speaking again. "Wait, are you leaving? You haven't finished eating yet!"

"If Shampoo win match," Shampoo said, ignoring the pigtailed boy's protests, "then you take Shampoo on date, yes?"

Ranma did a double-take at the request, his expression turning to one of panic. "Whoa! Wait! Do you know what a date means in Japan? I can't do that while I have a girlfriend!"

Shampoo just gave him an irritated glare, and Ranma's expression soured in return.

'She just has the wrong word; she just wants to spend the day with me and probably have me pay for everything. Well, whatever. It's not like I'm gonna lose.'

"Look, I'll just spend a day doing whatever you want, all right?" Ranma said, trying hard to smile at Shampoo's leaden expression, "it's just that if we call it a 'date,' Min will get angry and maybe light my house on fire." He hadn't forgotten Hashiru's tales of vengeance wreaked by jilted young women.

"That fine. It promise then," the Amazon said before turning on her heel and walking off, not bothering to wait for a response.

"Okay! Just let me know when you want to have it!" Ranma called before going back to his ramen.

Once the Chinese girl was out of earshot, however, he heaved a sigh. "Yeesh, what's wrong with her? Doing that ice thing the whole time... it's weird."

Shampoo was a lively, affectionate, and fun-loving girl normally... curiously so, when Ranma thought about it, as she was supposed to be an elite warrior from a grim backwater village. It was quite disconcerting and even a bit heartbreaking to see her to act so stony and emotionless.

"Well, I hope she drops it soon. I'd hate for her to stay that way," the pigtailed boy mumbled as he swallowed down the last of his noodles.

* * *

_CRACK!_ The wall of the perfectly innocent building shook mightily as Shampoo drilled a haymaker into it, the concrete buckling and shattering before her knuckles like a dinner cracker.

There was no cry of rage or torment as the Amazon ground her fist deeper into the wall, her teeth clenched so tightly that she very nearly drew blood and her aura blazing a furious red all around her.

Turning away from the crumbling impact crater, she slammed a foot into a large dumpster, caving in the side of it and bouncing it down the alley where she had chosen to finally release the built-up emotions that were welling up inside her.

_Clang! Whang! Crack!_ Shampoo continued raining blow after blow upon the dumpster, desperately feeding her anger and regret into her merciless assault. She was well aware, even as her emotions overwhelmed her, that using and dropping the soul of ice was amplifying the disappointment she was feeling tenfold and fueling her hottest passions, which in turn demanded that she expend that hateful energy somehow.

Finishing with a snap kick that nearly folded the steel box in two, the Chinese girl finally felt the angry fog in her mind begin to clear, giving her the opportunity to rest and think over events without either blinding rage or cold indifference skewing her judgment.

'So Ranma got a girlfriend already. That isn't a huge surprise," Shampoo decided bitterly as she slumped against the wall. At least in her opinion, Ranma was very nearly a perfect man; even those traits that would have put off many other women, such as his fondness for fighting and penchant for getting involved in frequent and very destructive battles, she found endearing and exciting. And his most obvious shortcoming, that he turned into a woman, was little more than an inconvenience or colorful flaw to her.

And it seemed like she wasn't the only one. She knew Min and even would have counted her as a friend an hour ago. Although she had gotten a flirtatious vibe from the kunoichi when she and Ranma were together, Ranma hadn't seemed very interested, so she hadn't thought anything of it.

But Min had changed the game. It was no longer about trying (in vain, she suspected) to coax Ranma's teenage hormones to the fore and get him to make a decisive advance. The top-heavy ninja had made a big move and staked him out as her own, and that was going to be a hard claim to shift.

Shampoo gave a weary sigh as she trudged out of the alleyway miserably. Leaving Nerima had made her stronger, as expected, and she didn't exactly regret it, but her departure from her tribe had very little meaning if she lost Ranma to some other woman.

"What Shampoo do now?" she asked the empty street glumly.

"DIE, YOU WITHERED SCUMBAG!" screeched a voice that stubbornly refused all attempts to define gender as a figure in a blue suit crashed into the parking lot adjacent to the alley, swiping furiously at a small brown blur.

"Leave me alone, you psycho!" croaked an elderly voice full of confusion and scorn. "Abusing the elderly is wrong!"

The brief assault broke apart, and Shampoo could now see the two combatants clearly: an androgynous thug with a scar and a withered old man who firmly reminded Shampoo of her tribe's own elders, save for this one being the wrong gender.

Although not being at all relevant to her at the moment, the suitably bizarre confrontation was a welcome distraction from her current drama, and Shampoo gave it her full attention.

"What's your problem? I never did anything to you, probably!" Happousai complained as he panted, having exerted himself considerably and unexpectedly to avoid getting fried by lightning.

"On your knees, freak!" Hayate snarled, her eyes narrowed as she held her hands out in front of her and lightning arcs lashed between them. "You'll pay for insulting my femininity!"

"I did no such thing!" Happousai claimed indignantly as he started stepping back. "Why, you're easily the most feminine man I've seen who didn't actually dress the part!"

_KRACKA-BOOM!_ Shampoo felt her hair rise as the thug's fist hit the ground like a lightning bolt, complete with thunder and crackling arcs of plasma.

Happousai didn't manage to escape unharmed this time, and only managed to dodge the worst of the blow as both the electric discharge and explosive blast send him flying.

"Ow! Ow! OW!" the old martial artist shouted in pain as his muscles spasmed, and started wondering if he should fight back. Impressive though this whelp was, the scar-faced thug wasn't anything that would trouble Happousai if he got serious. It wasn't in Happousai's nature, though, to fight seriously when there was nothing at stake but his own health and safety; much better to run away, in those circumstances.

The jerk in the suit was fast, though, and agile enough to follow Happousai no matter what route he took or what obstacles were in the way. Even dashing through the interior of a women's public bath house hadn't slowed his pursuer; he had just come crashing in like there was no problem at all, and had been following so close that Happousai didn't even have time to cop a quick feel or get a good look at the occupants before plowing through the rear of the place to escape.

Didn't this guy have any shame at all?

"Hurry up and die!" Hayate snarled as she reared a hand back, electricity buzzing and curling around her fingers as a crackling blue sphere started to grow in her palm.

"No, actually, I think I'll take my time with that," Happousai replied bitterly as he glanced around the parking lot.

His attention, finally broken for a split second from the immediate threat to his life, promptly locked on to a single purple-tressed beauty watching the conflict silently from outside an alleyway. It was strange the way that she was viewing the fight with detached interest, as if a human throwing lightning bolts around at a quickly moving target and blasting up the general vicinity was of no particular consequence to her, but Happousai tended not to notice such things even when he wasn't in immediate mortal danger.

"D-cups! Finally!" the old lecher cheered as he vaulted for the unknown spectator, tiny hands outstretched to capture his long-sought relief.

Had he done a more thorough study of the situation, he surely would have been less surprised when the young woman grabbed him by the face before he could make contact, holding him at her arms' length and keeping her breasts far out of his.

"What you think you doing?" Shampoo drawled as she looked at the tiny old man with contempt. He was obviously very powerful and skilled to be able to accomplish such physical feats while his body was in such a state, but any respect that might have earned him was lost by the obvious attempt to grope her.

"Well, I THOUGHT I was feeling up a helpless, nubile young woman," Happousai admitted grudgingly as he squirmed in the Amazon's iron-like grip, "but right now I'm mostly thinking about how likely it is that the gentleman chasing me wouldn't risk harming innocent bystanders."

It took barely a second for Shampoo to fully appreciate Happousai's statement, which was unfortunately still longer than it took Hayate to fire off another lightning bolt.

"**TITAN LANCE**!" the bodyguard screamed, standing tall while a veritable column of writhing power blasted up into the sky before immediately surging downward.

Shampoo, though forewarned by the discharge and the scream, had never seen an attack of this kind before, and she lost precious moments trying to figure out the area of effect before the lightning strike hit her.

Hayate winced as a sharp scream came from the flaring blast zone, and as the sudden storm of energy started to abate, she promptly regretted letting her temper result in an innocent casualty.

While her hands were hardly clean of blood, and she even easily accepted that sometimes innocent people were hurt or killed in her line of work, what she had just done had nothing to do with work. Manslaughter as a professional was one thing, but killing random people in a fit of feminine rage was way out of line.

"Crap, this was a disaster," she admitted as she ran a hand through her hair, smoothing it down. The blast area was still thick with smoke and vapor from the impact, and she couldn't yet see the unfortunate victim, but she just knew that there would be a body for disposal if she didn't want any investigations to follow her home.

_Whomp!_ Hayate would later berate herself harshly for letting down her guard so easily, but at the time only confusion dominated her thoughts as something came flying from the smoke and bounced harshly off her head. It wasn't particularly hard, but it was covered with soot and smelled vaguely of burnt hair.

"You pay for that," a hoarse voice said as the smoke finally started to dissipate, before the voice started coughing painfully.

This instance too, Hayate would come to criticize harshly in retrospect, but at that very moment she was more pleased that her victim had somehow survived than she was annoyed to have burnt pieces of trash thrown at her.

"Hey, you're okay! Awesome!" Hayate said as she looked over the obviously badly burned girl. The foreigner's clothes were seared and torn, and her previously vibrant purple hair had become dull and charred, but somehow the poor bystander had totally avoided any mortal injuries. "That's great! Nobody should have to die over that old loser!"

"Very sad then what happen to you now," Shampoo mumbled as her body temperature dipped precipitously.

Hayate blinked. "What? I didn't hea-"

Her words, along with all the precious oxygen in her lungs, were driven out of her as a fist encased in a ball of rock-hard ice smashed into her abdomen, lifting her off the ground and sending her flying into the air.

"GUAH! Ugh!" Hayate coughed violently as she landed badly on her side, having been sent reeling by the attack. "Ow! Damn!"

Shampoo started to stalk forward, her eyes narrowed and her fists shedding frost as the ice crystals from her attack crumbled away.

"Whoa, wait, hold it!" Hayate shouted, still gasping as she struggled to her knees. "Okay, fine, you're mad! I get that! You have every right to be angry about getting blasted with a lightning bolt! And I'm sorry! So let's let bygones be bygones and drop it, okay?"

Shampoo hesitated at the bodyguard's pleading, her exquisitely calculating mind having already discarded the surge of anger before the onset of the Soul of Ice and determining that there was in fact little point in fighting the stranger if she was willing to admit fault and apologize.

It was also due to her blank, emotionless state that she didn't sense another attack incoming from the side. After all, a threat to her physical safety was of a completely different degree of importance to a threat to her immediate comfort and emotional well-being.

"AN OPENING!" Happousai crowed as he finally managed to latch onto Shampoo's breasts, cuddling the soft pillows of flesh in wonder and delight.

Well, he managed a few seconds of cuddling, anyway. After that a brilliant flare of blue light encompassed the Amazon, and when Hayate's vision recovered a moment later, the wretched old man had been covered in a thick layer of frost, as if someone had somehow replaced him with a perfectly constructed snowman version of the lecherous master.

With a look of casual contempt, Shampoo pulled the iced-over Happousai off of her chest and then rolled him away over the sidewalk like a bowling ball.

"Wow, okay, so you got rid of him! Good job!" Hayate said nervously as she started backing up. She wasn't exactly sure she'd lose to this girl in a real fight if it came down to it, but she hadn't come to this district to pick fights at all, and running into no less than three overpowered freaks in ten minutes had her fully on edge. "If it's okay with you, I'm going to go ahead and leave now! Again, I'm really sorry about the lightning! Won't do it again!"

Shampoo snorted. "You have more sense in future, yes? Go now." Without waiting for a response, the Chinese girl took off at a sprint, dashing past Hayate and leaping up onto a nearby rooftop.

Hayate was left in the parking lot alone, still feeling her bruised ribs and staring at the streaks of frost that marred the scorched crater where her strongest attack had hit.

"I have no idea how that old bat thinks she's going to survive in this place," she mumbled to herself as she limped away toward the street. "I don't care if she is the bloody martial arts queen of the Chinese mountaintops; she's gonna die if she tries to pull anything here."

* * *

"I'm home!" Ranma called out as he entered the front door, closing it behind him and kicking off his shoes.

He had intended to go up to his room for the evening, but upon entering the living room suddenly found that his family seemed to be having a meeting without him. His mother sat at the head of the table, smiling smugly, while Iori sat on the side next to her, looking slightly more bemused than usual.

Yurumi was stuffing her face with chips while she watched some cartoon show behind them; whatever it was they had been discussing apparently hadn't disturbed her too much.

"Ranma, welcome home," Nodoka said happily as her son entered. "Please, have a seat. We have a lot to discuss."

"We do? What about?" Ranma asked, bouncing down into a squatting position. "This isn't some sort of 'update meeting' about me and Min, is it?"

Nodoka giggled brightly to herself. "No, it's not, although you're actually somewhat close."

"Nodoka, this is unnecessary. It's not like I care who he marries, but he already has a woman, doesn't he?" Iori said stonily, his eyes slightly harder than normal to indicate the depths of his displeasure.

"Oh, this has nothing to do with that," Nodoka said, waving her hand as if to ward the logic away. "If this girl really wants him, she'll be willing to share, won't she?"

"Okay, seriously, what's this all about? Are you talking about Min?" Ranma demanded.

Nodoka smiled brightly as she withdrew a sheet of paper from the folds of her kimono. "Why, your engagement to the Tendos, of course! Don't tell you'd forgotten!"

"No, I haven't been that lucky," Ranma grumbled, "anyway, I thought that whole thing was over and done with."

"So did I," Iori said wearily.

"Well, certainly it might have been, but I was going through my records when I saw this contract," Nodoka said pleasantly. "Here, see? It was signed by me, Soun Tendo, and Genma Saotome! It's a promise to unite the schools and consolidate our dojo using your marriage!"

As Ranma's face darkened, Iori made a rumbling growl in the back of his throat. "Those cowards have got a lot of nerve, writing something like this up behind my back..."

"Oh, don't be like that, honey. I haven't seen Soun since his wife's funeral. How is the poor man?" Nodoka asked.

"Pitiful. A spineless crybaby who's got nothing left to live for in this world except his daughters and his foolish dreams of burdening the next generation with the legacy of Anything-Goes," Iori said mercilessly.

"Oh, good. Then he's gotten much better since I saw him last," Nodoka said happily.

_Wham!_ Ranma suddenly slammed his palms down on the table, causing both his parents to fall silent as they waited to hear what Ranma wanted to say.

"Mom, this... This isn't going to work," Ranma said through clenched teeth, "me and those Tendo girls... don't really get along. And besides that, I already have Min. This... This thing," he said disgustingly, gesturing to the paper, "is just going to ruin everything. Why should I bother?"

Nodoka looked concerned at Ranma's assertion, and then patted the spot next to her. "Ranma, come here for a moment."

Feeling slightly nervous, Ranma got up and did so, squatting right before his mother.

As soon as he stopped moving, Nodoka leaned forward and hugged her son to her, surprising the pigtailed boy. "Oh, Ranma, you've become such a fine man," she said happily, sounding like she was on the verge of tears.

"And woman!" Added Yurumi quickly, turning away from the TV and flashing a thumbs-up.

"Shut it, pipsqueak," Ranma grumbled.

"I know you'll do fine, no matter what happens. I don't want to interfere with your relationships-"

Iori and Yurumi snorted derisively in tandem, revealing how much they believed THAT sentiment.

"-but there's a very lucky Tendo girl waiting for her fiance, and we can't just toss them aside, can we?" Nodoka said, beaming as she pulled away from Ranma slightly.

The pigtailed boy felt his mental resistance crumbling as he stared doubtfully into his mother's eyes, as it always did whenever a woman dear to him pressed him to see things their way.

"I'm not saying you have to marry her, but can't you give them one more chance? Just to save face?" Nodoka asked with a lopsided smile.

Ranma sighed as he broke eye contact, turning his head to the side. "Well, what about Min? What am I supposed to tell her?"

"I suggest you reassure her that you'll still be able to keep her satisfied even though you have another woman on your hands," Nodoka said with a disturbing level of seriousness, "after all, as the mistress, she'll probably have to wait for her turn unless you intend to pleasure them both at once."

Ranma was silent for several seconds. "Right. And then what will I use for eyes after she gouges mine out?" He deadpanned.

Nodoka didn't seem to understand the question, so Iori unexpectedly interjected. "You'll have to give it to her straight. This is a family obligation, and you don't have a choice but to give it a shot." The redhead's eyes narrowed. "That SAID, I'm still not sure where this contract came from, and why this is suddenly surfacing now. If one of Soun's girls wants to make this work, then fine, but this whole thing seems strange, and there's no reason to let yourself be forced into this."

Nodoka shrugged. "I told you, I just never remembered until now. I suppose it would have been more convenient if I remembered earlier, that's true, but at least this way Ranma has a girl to fall back on."

Ranma leaned over to Yurumi to whisper to her while their parents continued discussing the issue between themselves. "Pst! Is that really how relationships work?"

"Are you serious?" Yurumi asked, blinking owlishly. "Ranma, you should know better than to listen to Mom. Min will probably never forgive you."

"But it's not my fault!" Ranma hissed.

Yurumi just looked confused. "What makes you think THAT matters?"

"... It matters to me..." The martial artist mumbled quietly as Yurumi shifted over and sat down in his lap while she watched television.

"Well, if you end up fighting, don't beat her up or anything, okay?" Yurumi asked as she settled in against her brother's chest. "Also, can you change into a girl? The-"

"NO," Ranma said firmly as he rubbed her head lightly.

"But your breasts make really good pillows!" Yurumi protested.

"Are all women crazy, or is it just the ones I know?" Ranma grumbled before falling into a state of silent brooding. He had a lot to think about, after all.

'So the Tendos are back, huh? I wonder which one they'll try to push on me this time,' he thought to himself, his hand automatically darting out to grab a glass of water that Yurumi was reaching for and placing it further out of her arm's reach, 'but first there's Min. I am NOT looking forward to school tomorrow.'

End Chapter 20


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